Till workers- what is the most concerning / unnerving collection of items you have ever sold to a person?
Posted by AaronB666@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 92 comments
Those of you who work or have worked on tills or checkouts, who is the most concerning, creepy, red-flag customer you have served and what items did they buy?
Desperate-Coat-8791@reddit
I'm not a cashier but I remember in the supermarket the woman in front of me in the bought a pack of Always Ultra and a massive chocolate birthday cake. I feel ya mate. Also made me realise as an adult i can buy a birthday cake whenever I want and just eat the lot!
Jenpot@reddit
We have, on more than one occasion, bought an entire birthday cake and eaten it between the two of us over the course of the week. It wasn't anyone's birthday, we were just having a shit day and/or felt like it. One of the true perks of being an adult.
Horror-Kumquat@reddit
Once in Sainsbury’s the cashier greeted me with a cheery ‘Having a good day?’ then looked down at my items: a bottle of wine, some grapes, a bar of chocolate and a box of tampons. ‘Oh, sorry love.’
BeardedBaldMan@reddit
Sponge fingers, jelly, custard and cream.
Looked a trifle suspicious to me
Dazz316@reddit
I hope they got their just deserts
Accomplished_Bison87@reddit
And they’re just desserts!
grubbygromit@reddit
Ronnie Corbet is that you?
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
Harvsnova3@reddit
That made me chuckle. Thank you matey. I start nights tonight and need all the laughs I can get.
BorderlineWire@reddit
I used to go to the Savers near me every Saturday morning and buy several large tubs of petroleum jelly, a large amount of disposable razor blades, some kitchen roll a can of Pepsi and a cream egg. It was varied sometimes by not having the egg or by adding clingfilm.
I was in college at the time, and was sitting there on break when another student looked at me and was like “It’s you. Vaseline boy.” I explained myself. “That all makes sense, but why the creme egg?” She asks. So I’m forced then to explain that not only am I a weirdo buying £20 worth each of razors and Vaseline but I also ate creme eggs for breakfast. She looked relieved. Turns out everyone had their theory on Vaseline boy. No one was correct, I worked in a tattoo shop and was restocking for the week. I guess from 2005-2007 I was the weirdo customer that had them concerned.
NecroVelcro@reddit
Pfft. You were just embarrassed that your training hadn't gone as well as Kim's
BorderlineWire@reddit
They weren’t sitting on a can of Pepsi too ;) Now at least is the right time of year to go and get myself 48 creme eggs and a new tub of Vaseline at least
L-0-T-H-0-S@reddit
Not a sale, as such - a friend of mine worked in PC world, before became part of Curry's , though technically they were both owned by Dixons Retail, which bought PC World in 1993. Long story short a chap, clearly living by himself, kept bringing in the same laptop specifically for the same female colleague to look at.
It was just full of porn, nothing else on it - every bookmark some sort of porn site and lots and lots of graphic images for whoever worked on it to find, all over the desktop, including the background wall paper.
The point though was, he'd always target the same female staff member to look at it. There was never any fault with the actual machine, only its owner. In the end the manager stepped in and politely told him to piss off.
HideousTits@reddit
1993 you say? Fascinating
funusernam3@reddit
Guy was clearly at the cutting edge of technology and blurry porn
wojtek30@reddit
Rare currys moment of a manager telling someone to piss off. In my store even the most toxic, harrasing customers were allowed to continue to shop with us. Some were even given a discount for "the inconvenience".
Spadders87@reddit
Wasnt me but a colleague.
A calor gas bottle. Which went on to be put in a Jeep and driven in to Glasgow airport, fortunately it failed to explode.
We found out about it when MI6 (i think it was 6) came in to question her. She was muslim too, very quiet girl and was questioned for about 5 hours.
LushBunny36@reddit
A old couple in their 80s bought condoms. There was also a bunch a flowers and card for the wife. Guess it was her birthday. But I swear to god she could barley stand up straight to start with. My mind did not want to go there.
NecroVelcro@reddit
Barley? She was rye-lly struggling?
Cak556@reddit
A cucumber, a tub of Vaseline, and a “Woman’s Own” magazine, to a shy looking 40 something male at a Tesco around 1998.
NecroVelcro@reddit
He bought the wrong magazine.
colin_staples@reddit
I bet they were so thankful when self checkouts became a thing
Cak556@reddit
Good point!!!
bluejackmovedagain@reddit
A few years ago I confused a cashier who served me four times in three hours, as each time I was only buying eggs.
Visit 1 - making a cake and realised I was out of eggs, bought 6 eggs. Visit 2 - realised that the four tier birthday cake needed more than 6 eggs, bought 6 more eggs. Visit 3 - I had tripped over on the way home and broken the second box of eggs I had purchased, bought 6 more eggs. Visit 4 - I had completely fucked up the cake and needed to start again, bought 24 eggs because I wasn't going back a fifth time.
On visit 4 I was, not unreasonably, asked if I was throwing the eggs at someone/something.
Purrtymeow04@reddit
this had me rolling lol
bluejackmovedagain@reddit
Cashier: "Can I ask about the eggs?". Me: "Please don't".
hutchipoos@reddit
A bottle of Echo Falls wine, baby oil and condoms.
serfdudewithattitude@reddit
I do hope you've not missed a comma out here.
hutchipoos@reddit
Huh?
pepesilvia000@reddit
They’re talking about an Oxford Comma. Without it, in American English mainly, your list was “Echo Falls wine and baby oil and baby condoms”.
hutchipoos@reddit
I mean that was a bit of a stretch. It was quite clear what I meant and baby condoms doesn't mean anything.
pepesilvia000@reddit
I’m explaining what they said. I’m not agreeing with them.
hutchipoos@reddit
My criticism is of them.
pepesilvia000@reddit
Maybe reply to them as they wont see your criticism.
External-Praline-451@reddit
Very concerning, considering baby oil breaks down latex and shouldn't be used with condoms! An unwanted pregnancy in the making 😂
Feelincheekyson@reddit
Sounds like the recipe for a good night
molgab@reddit
2 for 1 on the echo falls bottles.
rezonansmagnetyczny@reddit
Worked in McDonald's. Some of the combinations used to really make me wonder what people were thinking.
Some of the modifications people used to try to make to food really used to make me think that they're either a serial killer or undiagnosed with something serious.
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
Filet o'fish - hold the fish, hold the cheese, hold the tartare sauce. Thank you
Designer-Emu-5163@reddit
your username made me laugh thank you
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
😘🤌🏼
No_General_7216@reddit
Like what?
kelleehh@reddit
When I worked at Asda many years ago this very old lady would come in every night without fail (except Sundays) and buy loads of reduced food, usually spending 1-2hrs in the store too. After paying she then every night threw it all in the bin outside the store as she left.
batteryforlife@reddit
Wtf
MergieSS@reddit
the guy who tried to buy numerous packs of butane gas and upon being told he could only buy one deserted the check out and sped off to his car
lysergic101@reddit
Probably making BHO
Sandy_Bananas@reddit
Maybe. I used to rip through 3 cans a night just huffing that shit.
Disastrous_Rise4433@reddit
Lube, condoms and a 4th birthday card. Not that weird but the card just made me laugh
Bifanarama@reddit
Pair of rubber gloves and a cucumber.
reggieko13@reddit
This wasn’t whilst working but saw a woman buy a pregnancy test and a bottle of vodka at 8 on a Tuesday morning
lhr00001@reddit
Either a celebration or a solution
Easy-Rider-9210@reddit
Doctors recommend no more than half a bottle of vodka to celebrate
LittleWitchCat@reddit
Once had a man buy a jar of doggy peanut butter, look me right in the eye and with a wink said it was “for the wife”. One of the few times a customer got a genuine reaction out of me
leylaley76@reddit
I worked at Ann Summers.. I shall say no more lol
MathematicianSea563@reddit
Not a till worker, but a very sad looking dude buying a rope.
I couldn’t ask him if he was ok, as there was a massive queue in front of me.
I think about him a lot.
InstanceExcellent530@reddit
Electrical-Tea6966@reddit
I used to be a scout leader. Me and my friend went to buy many pots of Vaseline and cotton wool because you can use them to light fires and we had a campfire cooking night. We got a funny look from the cashier, so my friend hurriedly said ‘it’s ok, we’re scout leaders!’
EyUpItsDan@reddit
Worked at a Coop, had a deliveroo order for a guy named Paul in which he ordered a Twix and 4 packets of plasters. Nothing out of the ordinary.
An hour passes, Paul again with another order. This time 2 more packs of plasters.
A half hour hour before we close we get yet another Paul order for three more packs of plasters and another Twix.
No clue what was going on with old Paul. The driver didn't turn up for his last order.
Dog_Apoc@reddit
I once had to go out and pick up a cucumber, tissues, vegetable oil, toilet paper, milk, carrots, and steak. It was just a random assortment of items but the more I think of it, the worse it is.
I-Am-The-Warlus@reddit
Razors blades & whiskey
DoubleXFemale@reddit
Customers aren’t generally considered “creepy red flag customers” because of what they are buying (unless they’re buying duct tape, rope, bleach and knives I guess, but I don’t recall ever selling that combo).
Customers are considered “creepy red flag customers” because of how they act towards staff.
I definitely had a couple of creepy incidents when I was a teenager working on tills, have seen it happen with other teenagers, and have heard from a couple of other retail workers who ended up with stalkers.
Even_Passenger_3685@reddit
Yeah, my first job aged 13 was working evenings in a chippy (ah the eighties approach to H&S), and there was an absolute weirdo who would come in every night I was on duty. He had a Jack Russell on a piece of string, the archetypal greasy hair, long raincoat, air of grubby seediness, and would ask for his “evening breasts” (of chicken, with chips, twice as one lot for his mum with whom he unsurprisingly still lived in his 40s).
These would have to be cooked to order so he’d stand and wait, talking to the owner about Raquel Welch, or watching me serving and would keep trying to grab my hand and kiss it throughout the whole awkward exchange, and the owner would just stand and watch as this was after all, completely reasonable behaviour I think we’d all agree……
So yeah, fuck you weird Phil.
thb202@reddit
Can I have 12 bottles of bleach please
Doug__Quaid@reddit
You covered your beard
plissryuken@reddit
Use your IRA voice.
8_string_menace@reddit
Not unnerving, just concerning. Litre of vodka and a bottle of mouthwash at 8am.
Ok_War5223@reddit
Sold a book once to a customer on Murder cover-up cases
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
NOTHING TO SEE HERE, JUST BUYING A LITTLE BOOK, MOVE ALONG.
Ok_War5223@reddit
He seemed quite cheerful when buying it to be honest
Beautiful_Hawk548@reddit
Of course, he'd just recently solved one of his biggest problems.
StatisticianUsual471@reddit
Couple of big tins of dog food and a loaf of bread
Lynex_Lineker_Smith@reddit
Can I have 12 bottles of bleach please
Lickonmydick@reddit
Can you give a description of the person?
Lynex_Lineker_Smith@reddit
A lady with her hands over her face
Acceptable_Tap_2251@reddit
Used to work in a hardware store. Every time people bought shovel, rope, lime etc I'd crack the same joke "uh oh, who's upset you?" 👀😂
Not everyone laughed. And one guy actually went home and murdered his girlfriend. They actually took our CCTV footage for evidence.
I NEVER made that joke again. Gives me the damn creeps to think about it.
Acceptable_Tap_2251@reddit
The case, for those who are curious:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-east-wales-11390317
NessaGuin@reddit
Weird train of logic, I'd rather my wife at home knew me as a murderer than having an affair with someone who died in her sleep.
dreamponies@reddit
That’s horrific
Belterhaze31@reddit
Had a bloke come in and ask for 12 bottles of bleach with a IRA accent once
HideousTits@reddit
So, a person from Northern Ireland then?
Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit
👀 👀 👀
Imperator_Helvetica@reddit
Like Gerry Adams he was being voiced by an actor to avoid enflaming the populance.
R0gu3tr4d3r@reddit
Was he covering his beard with his hands?
Belterhaze31@reddit
Nah, did have a woman do that once though
MadJen1979@reddit
Was he covering his beard with both hands to make sure he was in disguise?
Imperator_Helvetica@reddit
I used to work at a petrol station - there were two next to each other in the middle of the countryside. Ours was much cheaper, aside from the mark up on drinks, snacks etc. The other sold fr more expensive fuel, but that was just a cover for the inside shop selling masses of imported pornography.
We had lots of customers who'd clearly come to the wrong station as they'd loiter pretending to browse our magazines - radio times, take a break etc before subtly asking 'Do you have any... other magazines' as though, while they'd popped in for some milk and a crossword puzzle magazine, they'd suddenly discovered a taste for Red Hot Pregnant Leather Babes.
All the committed creeps and perverts knew to go straight to the other shop so we just got the confused ones who'd been tipped off about masses of filth but thought they'd have to settle for Nuts Magazine or Men's Health.
They were mostly amiable and you got used to having to say 'Well, the shop across the road has a wider selection of Dutch Language Publications sir...' as opposed to the guy who worked there who had to tell people not to wank on the forecourt.
TheGorgeousJR@reddit
Stood behind a bloke in a queue once who purchased a porno magazine and a small pack of bog rolls.
FloofyRaptor@reddit
I worked in a DIY shop and someone bought hacksaw blades, rubble bags and cable ties. As he was paying he must have clocked how it looked because he looked down at his purchases and looked up at me and said "oh" and cracked up laughing.
I confused a cashier in Tesco years ago by buying a kettle, teabags, milk and sugar at 1:30am. You could literally see the moment that she realised all these things went together. We had visitors arriving the next morning and the kettle decided to break and I realised I needed some other bits and bobs.
WIZZZARDOFFREESTYLE@reddit
BLOWJOB
123bmc@reddit
I once bought a hacksaw, bin liners, cable ties and duct tape. The cashier looked concerned.
No_General_7216@reddit
Not serving, but twice as a customer in front of a customer waiting behind me in the queue..
The first was a smart dressed office worker type woman with a cucumber, pack of condoms and a bottle of wine - I'm not even kidding - she just had it all in her basket and was very matter of fact when she placed it all on the conveyor belt.
The second was most recent, this guy in a tracksuit with baby oil, an oven pizza and some marigold rubber gloves.
I, myself, have most disturbingly bought a kid's sandcastle bucket and small spade, rubber gloves and extra thick rubble disposable bin bags - I had a blocked toilet to the brim and there was no room for a plunger, or error.
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