Unpopular opinion: Balkan men have a different level of masculine energy
Posted by wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit | AskBalkans | View on Reddit | 239 comments
I don’t mean this in a disrespectful way, but there’s a very noticeable masculine energy. The men I came across were more direct, protective, and naturally take the lead without hesitation. For a woman, I felt I could honestly relax or feel safe in their presence.
For context: I am not Balkan, I’m referring to Albanians, Bosnians, Macedonians and Kosovo…
Is this cultural, or am I just biased from my experience?
Just-Big4708@reddit
I have one Serbian friend. A man in his 30s. He is actually caring, very smart financially, excellent career, very political too, and super protective. He is masculine, goes to the gym, and so tall!. He was 6 feet or taller and I'm literally 5 feet 🫠 I had a massive crush on him, but he did sounded he only wanted s£x, and it was obvious, I didn't like that. I kept the communication low and minimum. Yet, he texts from time to time checking in especially with war happening where I'm at 😅.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I didn’t mention Serbia even tho I spent sometime in Belgrade. My experience was … less positive.
I don’t know about Serbian men specifically but general interactions were a bit aggressive towards me and visibly racist ( I am not even black, I am light brown skinned. But they were just so much nicer to blondes)
And air Serbia is the airline with the worst customer service on the planet!!
milathebunny@reddit
They probably thought you were Roma
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I just looked that up. The Roma minority in Serbia?
milathebunny@reddit
Yes. They are disliked all over Europe really, but I don't know why somebody would be mean to you just because they thought you were one (I'm speculating though, since you saide you were brown, and the Roma people originate from India). What negative experiences did you have exactly?
Just-Big4708@reddit
I see, sorry about that, for me I haven't been to Serbia. I'm a light brown too, Arabian 😅. I'll be careful 😵💫 and Air Serbia airlines are expensive too. I prefer anything from Turkey's airports they got plenty of really cheap flights.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
My experience could very well be just an individual experience and not the norm haha.. best to be careful wherever we go 💜 best of luck 🤞
Just-Big4708@reddit
True 👌🏻🙏🏼
chobolicious88@reddit
Its duty, because feminism isnt strong here yet lol
milathebunny@reddit
Feminism is here yet? Wmen in Yugislavia had voting rights before women in Switzerland. What are you on about?
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Haha honestly makes sense!!
A friend of mine held a door open once for a woman and her response was “ do you think I can’t do that myself??” Like you would think you would get a thank you but some places in the world are screwed.
chobolicious88@reddit
Yup
That_North_994@reddit
There was a posting here of a non-balkan woman engaged to a balkan guy. She was upset because she saw the men in his family were just sitting at the table and all the women were working to lay a nice table, bring the food, take the food, do the dishes. Also, I read a comment once saying men get married, have kids, and then they just watch TV with the remote on their belly. Not all the men are like this but many.
Old_Bowler_465@reddit
That is clearly not a balkans specific thing. Grew up in northwest europe and the men of my family were like that too
OriginalMexican@reddit
As with any more "masculine" part of the world, this is more pronounced in Balkans. Its a scale from traditional (male vs female roles, women weak and inferior, taken care of and decided for by men) and modern (equal in rights and responsibilities). Its either or. You can not simoultaneously be independent and strong and need taking care of and protection. I can not simoultaneously be provider and protector without being decider and head of family.
Both are fine, but you got to pick one (or rather your position on that scale).
Traditional part used to include a lot of war, manual labour, field work, animal slaughter, harsh winters and scary world - all responsibility of men. A lot of it is gone, with men working in offices or reasonably tollerable enviroment and that results in them just being spoiled, coming home watching, eating, drinking, farting up the couch...
Women on the other end traded some of the housework for full working hours so they get frustrated when after work they need to do all the childecare, all the housework, all the cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning and social calendar managing.
That is why the west went towards more modern equitable understandign where both work, and share jobs.
Parts of the world that are less developed, where manual work is more imporant, that have less comfort, more DIY, more risk and where life is still harsh and needs traditional men - are more traditional.
Balkan is more traditional leaning comapred to the Western World for those reasons.
Its still more modern than most of Africa, middle east, parts of Asia and South America.
Old_Bowler_465@reddit
So EXACTLY like the west ?
From experience it is absolutely false, women still do 90% of housework despite also working 9 to 5 and taking care of children. The only difference is that western men think they are doing equal work because they put their plate in the sink lol
OriginalMexican@reddit
Your lived experience is then substantially different from mine. Every man i know (under 50) cooks and or does dishes, does his own laundry or participates in joint laundry, does trash duty, shopping, parenting...
Its not like that in Serbia at least overwhelmingly its not like that
Old_Bowler_465@reddit
Maybe it is because you are from one of the very progressive country in the north ? Im french so maybe that's why our experiences are different 🤔
Actuw@reddit
This is like 99% of balkan families lol
Incvbvs666@reddit
Yeah, and then the men go and do all the male-related tasks and certainly never ask the women to split the bill at a restaurant.
If you want to be taken care of, you must also take care. It's sometimes nice when your partner goes 'nuh uh, I got this... you go and rest!'
When chores are 'split' then no one gets to rest and no one gets to take credit for something and also everyone is secretly resentful that the other person is not putting in their fair share of work.
It makes far more sense to split chores by kind than do each one 50-50.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I haven’t gotten that deep into the culture to be honest. But I hope women are cooking for the family happily, with love and not forced.
gforget@reddit
If the woman’s only job is domestic, then it makes sense for her to manage the tasks at home.
DeathNick@reddit
That's where the social expectation comes from. Now women have jobs because a single income doesn't fund a family and unfortunately women are still expected to do most of the work at home
Fourteen14XIV@reddit
> I hope women are cooking for the family happily, with love and not forced.
Whats a "You could say they are doing it happily, but its because it culturally expected that a good woman does it.". Like, people are happy when they do what they consider good deeds, but I dont think cultural obligation to cook should be a woman specific thing.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I agree with you. When I said not forced that’s exactly what I meant, not forced psychologically, physically or conforming to societal expectations.
titaincognita@reddit
I am one of said non balkan women and that end of the culture is trash. My husband THANKFULLY does not expect any of that from me. We wouldn't be married if he did. The rest of his family though? I'm the evil daughter in law that ruined their son so.....lol.
Ok_________oi@reddit
It’s called patriarchy. You know the thing we’ve been trying very hard to abolish in the west so that women can have the same rights and opportunities as men.
Capital-Company-3132@reddit
Equal rights aren't the same as gender equality. The West plays on this. In the Balkans, we don't have gender equality, but we do have equal rights. For example, men and women earn the same salary, there's no discrepancy between men and women. Job ads say "we're looking for a bartender, pay €500." Maternity leave can be transferred between mother and father or shared; in the West, this isn't the case.
mne1237@reddit
Yeah but Balkan guy would probably beat you up if you cheated. A westerner would just break up.
There are pros and cons to everything.
But if you want a reasonably attractive man, who is traditional and is "somewhat" white, Balkans would be a solid choice.
Capital-Company-3132@reddit
Balkan and virile man (I'm speaking for Romanian/Moldavian) 100% masculine, if he loves you he'll give you everything, absolutely everything, including heart and soul, but if you slip up as a woman you'll hurt his pride to the max and risk him not thinking twice about beating you to death. Western men don't give a damn, they cheat on you and they always take your life (I'm speaking from what I see in Italy), but looking at the ISTAT ranking of femicides across Europe, with Germany in first place, England, Latvia, and almost all of Northern Europe, it's certainly the same as in Italy. I'm a little more at ease that I haven't found any Balkan men at the top of the list, although unfortunately it happens; let's hope it never happens, not even rarely.
travelingsket@reddit
No. Western men use that pew pew on us Western Women all the time.
travelingsket@reddit
Many are. And masculinity can also be toxic. Especially if you're attractive.
Fantastic-Yak-6373@reddit
That post is so sexist on so many levels. Is your life goal to become a tradwife and normalise getting beat up and shouted by your husband? Do you want waiters to not even look at you when in bars/restaurants and let your man order for you? Welcome to Balkan masculinity.
Lipa2014@reddit
Lol, you do get carried away.
Fantastic-Yak-6373@reddit
Sorry, this caught me in the middle of my 3rd cup of coffee and I inhaled a whole cigarette in one puff while typing this, must be that.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Haha! I genuinely hope no one is treating women this way in 2026
treba_dzemper@reddit
Sadly they are. But it being a Balkan thing is a bit of a euro trope used to dunk on poorer Europeans. The shave-haired white Brit is as, or probably even more likely to manhandle his missus about after his team loses than your average Balkan dad.
TheCharalampos@reddit
There's two sides of it. On one side men are genuinely more confident as they've been told that's what they should strive for.
On the other side they can be the douchiest most controlling asshole you'll meet because that's part of the package.
There's people who manage the confidence without the toxicity but it doesn't feel like a majority.
treba_dzemper@reddit
The toxicity is only an issue in relationships though. And dunno, I mean I know lots of guys like that, but also none of my friends are like that (we're all married dudes long in tooth). I don't think toxic masculinity is a majority either, I think the majority is the "silent reliable type".
BloodStarvedLeopard@reddit
I don't think it's "masculine" at all. Overall, our cultures are very fussy. We are curious about everything that's going on in peoples' lives, we worry about stuff, we offer help and shelter to everyone. Our women are the same, in no way do I think it's an expression of masculinity. I would even argue that our good men are good when they model their mothers.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
“I would even argue that our good men are good when they model their mothers” this has to be the best thing I read today. Thank you for educating me about the culture a bit better. As a woman, I am proud.
treba_dzemper@reddit
He is right tho. In every Balkan man there is his mother slav-squatting judging his every acvtion.
CmdrJemison@reddit
Yes. We are also great in stealing your heart and your bank account. 💪🏻
Citaku357@reddit
Isn't that more of a Romanian thing?
Temporary_Advance_36@reddit
Citaku357@reddit
This meme lives rent free in my head lol, thanks for that.
treba_dzemper@reddit
It's also stolen because originally it was a Usenet text only message from late 90s, but the virus was Bosnian in that one
Temporary_Advance_36@reddit
It’s truly a classic
Substantial-One1934@reddit
Maybe you mean the darker romanians
IllGold3207@reddit
If ask for bank account maybe is not a romanian one 😂
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
You are from croatia. Different vibe, as you always say you are not balkan anyway.
CmdrJemison@reddit
Of course I am Balkan.
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Usually Croats hate it because it translates into "simpleton villager brutes but nice", which is not the case for 95% of balkan people anyway. Everyone has got their thing.
CmdrJemison@reddit
Is that what you like to think? OK.
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
No man, I saw lots of facebook comments of croat people defending against being balkan. They hated it. I am bosnian, I am always considered balkan, for good or bad, but some of the Croats that got into EU now and don't like how it sounds. You must admit you heard it too. Like Zagreb claiming they are better than everyone else literally in croatia lol
Substantial-One1934@reddit
Why don't you remind them, that only thirty years ago, they used to be all Yugoslavian.
-ungodlyhour-@reddit
You reference FB as a credible source?
You lost the argument without even starting.,
And Croats are as Balkan as it comes those FB bots are lying to you.
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
So I guess those hundreds of people making those claims from their ID confirmed accounts don't even exist :D
blodskaal@reddit
I think what people are saying is the minority that sleeps on Facebook all day and the majority that goes on the streets and does real life things like helping Opie up there with stuff and not the same group of people.
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Yeah, facebook is a dark place generally speaking so it is not a real sample for reference
CmdrJemison@reddit
And some people are just tired of all these stereotypings from other people. No offense.
CmdrJemison@reddit
People like too see what they want to see 🤷
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
I am fine with it either way. Literally does not make any difference to me ever. Just observing. Have a nice day bro. Notice how I still got my wallet... Wait a moment!
CmdrJemison@reddit
Just a thought experiment:
Imaging you going to your neighbor and telling him "hey you, why are you looking down me like if you are something better? You and your people you all think you are superior to anyone else."
Got it? Did you realized how stupid that sounds?
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
And finally, let me explain the point of my comment, you will now understand it: When balkaners do bad things, croatians say: we are not balkans When balkaners do good things: Croatia says: We are classic balkaners. Same goes for Greece. Literally the first comment here.
Got it?
CmdrJemison@reddit
Let me explain my point:
People like to see what they want to see.
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Man. You are just weird. My bad. Enjoy your day. That does not mean I think you think you're better. It is just that most of your nationalists don't consider them selves balkan, like Slovenia. How you managed to get insulted is beyond belief.
Hour-Promotion-2496@reddit
It's just that Croatia is 2 different countries in 1.
North is very different from the rest.
VVest_VVind@reddit
High time for passport bros to get a mighty counterpart, ba(lka)nk account bros.
CmdrJemison@reddit
Lol.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Haha but no one asked me for money 😭😭 my tour guide in Sarajevo even was like nooo this is a free walking tour when I gave him a tip, I had to insist for him to take the money 😭😭
CmdrJemison@reddit
If he didn't wanted to take your money or your heart then I'm sure he had his reasons.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Couldn’t be happier to be honest. I would like to keep both my heart and my money lol
CmdrJemison@reddit
Yea 😁
casual_philosopher02@reddit
we are generally protective people and tend to really take care of those we love, men can be like that but they WILL expect the same from you
DryDatabase169@reddit
Im a Belgian living in Greece, what a like about Greek men is that they dont bother about other men. The only guys in Athens who look in your eyes are mostly Albanian. It's really weird but it's the truth. Greeks just let other dudes be dudes.
casual_philosopher02@reddit
we have the most eeeeeeh it is what it is attitude, guys are generally chill and not as jealous
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Hold on. About 30 greeks were screaming the other day how they are NOT balkan. How come you are balkan now?
casual_philosopher02@reddit
uhm I was not part of it so where are you getting with this? I argue against those greeks all the time in here
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Because you say "we are generally". You just agreed you were balkan when it is a good thing. When it is a bad connotation, all of the sudden, you are not
casual_philosopher02@reddit
I say it here, not these idiots, these types of commenters say bs then go cry in ask Greece about it
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Of course. Don't think I think balkan is some cool kids club. It is a derogative word made by the rest of europe because of our disputes. If some Greeks don't feel like balkan on account of their western history, great, if they want to feel like balkan on account of their traditions and geography, great too. It's good either way. I went to Greece, looks and feels pretty balkan to me, but who am I to judge.
Substantial-Peach-90@reddit
It is right to be annoyed but it is not at the same time. There is this South European/Mediterranean and Balkan bipolarism in Greece because we really do see ourselves very close to Italians and Spanish but we obviously have Balkan culture too(generally speaking).
Now, if you go to Mani peninsula you’ll not find any Balkan culture truly, so these people will be right to say we are not Balkan. If you go to northern Greece though like Thessaloniki and the surrounding areas you can’t accept the “I’m not Balkan” thing
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
My opinion must be skewed by visiting only Thessaloniki. But I do view greeks to be mediterean of course still. Balkan thing is only geographic and historic. All cultures are separate.
casual_philosopher02@reddit
No they deny the balkan title because after we got in the EEC we wanted to be more european aligned. At the time balkan was kinda demonised and I saw in a TV series of that period used as an insult even for villager, mountain person. It is a common joke here how people will act like they are from the capital and don't even remember where their family's village is. That's why they wanna seem western, they like to associate with modern city person identity more
geoken@reddit
Do you still not understand the concept of different people having different opinions?
Because someone from their country said a thing, they are a hypocrite if they’re say a different thing (even when they openly disagree with the first thing)?
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
yes exactly my good friend. Not like we had a full discussion after that comment haha.
geoken@reddit
Their comment was
- uhm I was not part of it so where are you getting with this? I argue with those greeks all the time in here
Then you responded after that with
- You just agreed you were balkan when it is a good thing. When it is a bad connotation, all of the sudden, you are not
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
All I see are two different types of comments and that is what I commented. Why do I need to argue further?
thisladnevermad@reddit
It's normal when you talk Shit, people might come with more questions
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Of course man. And in the AskBalkans subreddit. I was prepared for some of the arguments, but I don't have the mental energy for every single one. Just downvote me further on, thank. you!
Active_Drawing_1821@reddit
So true 😄 Same goes for Slovenians and Croatians.
BamBumKiofte23@reddit
You're not wrong.
Pure_Stop_5979@reddit
Those guys were probably neoliberal a-holes who fancy themselves "western". They're not and neither is any Greek. We're Balkaners, through and through, in customs, in temperament and most importantly, in CUISINE!
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Man do I love your Cuisine. We are temperament bros after all, and don't tell the turks, I love your baklava more! I tried your anchovie soup with various sauces and garnishes, and while it might sound disgusting when you say "anchovie soup" , I slurped every drop of it with awesome pleasure man! Looking forward to visit it this summer as well!
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Well i suppose it goes both ways? but my interactions were always so brief with the locals.
casual_philosopher02@reddit
yep, here come all the protective wives/ moms stereotypes
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Where?
Cattle13ruiser@reddit
You heard of the stereotypes about protective father from Western countries? Hollywood comedy tropes?
In Balkans it is the mother who guard her sons from bad influence, be it women or men.
To get a balkan man, a woman have to pass his mother's test or the relationship won't last.
Alottathots@reddit
It the way they wear their purse
Incvbvs666@reddit
That's what happens when you don't drown the culture out with messages that masculinity is 'toxic' and don't shame little boys for being who they are.
dannydevitostan69@reddit
As a balkan woman, I can confirm that when I have dated a man from any other culture, the expectations I have for how I should be treated and the respect I should be shown can rarely be met. Balkan men are raised to treat women as a prize and as a princess. I have gotten in fights with Balkan men for doing something like carrying a bag or opening a door for myself but I have never and had to teach them how I should be treated. This was a cultural difference I did not expect and something about the Balkan culture that I definitely took for granted until I experienced otherwise.
Balkan men are also familiar with the culture of being brutally honest so I can be myself without having to worry about being called mean. I recommend you make friends with us spoken women because we will be the most fiercely loyal, generous, and kind friends that you will ever make in your life. :)
Bifftek@reddit
Yea and no. I've met Balkan people, mostly serbs, who display everything you mentioned in a toxic way. Everything is a dick-measuring contest, they can never stfu about their country and how much better it is than other countries, how assertive and manly they are and other similar stuff that ultimately does not matter and is a massive insecurity.
It's almost as if they have a stereotype to live up to.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I replied to someone else here about my experience in Belgrade. no offense to Serbs but I had a much much less positive experience.
Some people were pretty freaking rude. And I had the most horrific experience with air Serbia, they treated me like a freaking dog when I asked how long is my flight gonna be delayed. And the superiority is insane!!!
Yeah, no, not Serbia. lol
Tkemalediction@reddit
Unpopular counter-opinion. This is the typical style of men in countries that:
1) have a struggling democracy for just a few decades. 2) have a large rural population 3) put a huge emphasis on traditions and traditional values.
I found the exactly same behavior (both the good one and the bad one) in Southern Caucasus and of course they consider it uniquely theirs, over there.
This is not to demean any country. I lived there and enjoyed it a lot and I guess I would have) enjoy living in a Balkan country. Just that I don't find these traits particularly unique or "Balkan"l. Similar histories will often produce similar characteristics.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I like how you look at it and you have very valid points. But are you a man? Because traveling across as a solo woman and a man can be a vastly different experiences (unfortunately)
What made it feel special in the Balkan to me was that the energy and being helpful and stepping up didn’t come at a price which as a woman I have grown used to ( men do things and expect things) but in Balkan it was just… calm. It felt like that’s the normal culture is to protective of women generally.
VVest_VVind@reddit
Genuinely glad you feel safe traveling alone around the Balkans as a woman. While generally safe enough, the safety levels do wary depending on exactly where you are, what time of the day it is and how many people there are around you. Being catcalled in broad daylight in bigger cities and verbally harassed at night even in a relatively safe small town does happen. Never escalated into anything scarier than that for me personally, but I do and would apply caution, as one would anywhere else in the world.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I am used to traveling alone as a woman and I have travelled to some legit scary places. I agree fully, gotta stay cautious everywhere we go.
Thank you 💜
Tkemalediction@reddit
I specifically wrote the good and the bad things, because there are both. I understand that what I wrote can come out at paternalizing, as in "oh, almost third world countries with their simple men", but that is not my intention.
VVest_VVind@reddit
For what it's worth, your comment didn't come across like that for me at all but as an acknowledgement that what we often see as some mysterious cultural specificity is largely a product of a set of historical and material conditions, which are also to be found in other places with similar contexts.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Not at all how I perceived it. On the contrary, I do agree with you for the most part. It is probably not unique to the Balkans however, experiences can vary so much from one danger to another. And as someone else pointed out, also from one race to another. So I just wanted to highlight that my experience may be different.
Tkemalediction@reddit
Absolutely, but I wasn't going to discredit and comment your experience. At the end of the day, there's never a unique "culture" in any country.
ussehrepuS@reddit
Why my head hurts.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Mine too.
0Zaseka0@reddit
Yes, cuz it's all optics. Your stereotypical balkan dad will help everybody but his wife.
ReiSy_NKo@reddit
It's because Turks ruled the Balkans for 600 years back then they were gays just likes the Greeks
InterestingHand4182@reddit
wat you're describing after the edits sounds less like a masculinity observation and more like a specific cultural norm around hospitality and helping strangers without expectation of reciprocity, which is genuinely distinct across regions and has more to do with how communities historically related to travelers and guests than with gender dynamics specifically.
the Balkans have a deep tradition of hospitality rooted in codes like the Albanian "besa," where hosting and helping a stranger carries real social and moral weight, which might explain why the help felt clean and unconditional compared to other regions where similar helpfulness came with implicit social negotiation attached.
the_big_man2@reddit
from a sociological perspective - gender looks different across time and place. it is true in the balkans gender is in a sense more exaggerated than say, north america. men are "more" masculine, women are "more" feminine, you are less likely to find someone in the middle / androgynous.
this is because of social norms. men and women are very indirectly and subconsciously pushed to act this way. it is expected, reward, and desired. people are treated differently because of their gender
i think what you experienced was likely a culture were people are more likely to talk to each other (compared to, again, north america) and people of opposite genders are almost always considering each other in romantic contexts. moreso men, almost always men
its why every single man asked for your phone number after, that was likely the intention guiding much of their behaviour. its also why all of the comments jumped to romance as well
DwiddleKnight@reddit
Different kind, not level 👍🏻
Dry_Satisfaction3923@reddit
I was recently in the Balkans with a group of teenage soccer players and one night they were making noise in the pool and a large man got very irritated. When we left the pool I conveyed to the players what had happened and they, mistakenly, assumed I’d have been able to handle myself.
I explained… I walk around where we’re from with outright confidence b/c I know I’m Balkan and there’s just a rare form of masculine insanity in all of us. But here, in the Balkans. I’ll tread lightly b/c the same masculine insanity that gives me confidence at home, I just assume everyone has it too and I’m not about to FAFO!
Sally2Klapz@reddit
Reading this post edit and you are definitely on to something op. As an American tourist, Montengrians in my experience went well out of their way to help me with all sorts of stuff it was like a national duty or something, very refreshing.
Sally2Klapz@reddit
I'm a man btw, and people stopped what they were doing just to help me.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
EXACTLY. it felt like something embedded within the culture. It is refreshing indeed
Sally2Klapz@reddit
Cause it is haha
vasjpan002@reddit
https://archive.org/details/DOP13_02_Charanis
Zeonist-@reddit
Have many Balkan guys have you known? In my experience, they are just immature
Historical-Wear-9948@reddit
Lmaooo my girlfriend is turkish and I have noticed how all the men in Turkey have the emotional maturity of a 2 year old. I'm also Serbian and it's the same thing over there. It's a balkan thing
Ambry@reddit
One of my closest friends is Turkish and she says she will never date a Turkish man again. In her experience most of the men she knows ans has seen her friends date have cheated and are emotional messes.
Another friend in the UK has a Turkish dad and he literally does nothing around the house, but both his parents work.
Historical-Wear-9948@reddit
Exactly what I am saying
ExtremeProfession@reddit
Turkish dating scene is very different to the one in Bosnia, so is the dowry and tribal mentality in a way that is exhibited in Turkey.
Historical-Wear-9948@reddit
Idk tbh, I grew up in America and have only really hooked up with people in Bosnia, and that's in the villages. Never done any dating over there. I'm more so generalizing on mentality and can see the commanlities. I'm sure there can be some differences but I think culturally we can all be pretty similar in a lot of ways.
samvarr@reddit
There’s no “tribal” mentality in Turkey unless you’re talking about the east of the country which is mostly not ethnic Turks.
Although maybe I’m misunderstanding what you mean by “tribal” mentality.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I have came across quite a lot in my trips in the area. But again, this isn’t an intimate relationships or friendships. I was referring to their general behavior and attitude
Wonderful-Bat-5897@reddit
Best dudes in rhe world ♥️
Remarkable_Cake_4735@reddit
NO
ninaya89@reddit
This is really sweet, almost naive :)) They are yes, and this can be nice if you are not their wife/girlfriend/sister etc. Then it transforms into something else :)
Negative_Purchase773@reddit
Tako ti mala moja kad ljubi Bosanac
Ok_Syrup_8904@reddit
As a Swedish man who have dated women from the Balkans and spent a lot of time in BIH, Croatia and Serbia this is one of the things i really like.
The expectations around how people treat eachother in the public room are way better than where i’m from. You open the door, lift the bag, give the coat, give the seat, pull out the chair etc. Not that it never happens here but it’s more a sometimes-thing and not the expectation. After a while it becomes natural and i find it’s always appreciated. And of course it’s without expectation of a number etc. Not surprised you had a good experience in Sarajevo.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
This is exactly what I meant!! It’s the gentleness of the interactions and how they don’t expect anything in return. I don’t take that for granted as it’s not common everywhere else.
Thank you for sharing
Happy-Hour88@reddit
Overgeneralize much? As if all Balkan men are the same lol. First, there are differences between the countries. Then even between the cities within those countries.
I'm from Sofia and when I was in Varna, aside from the language it almost felt like being in a completely different country. Similar, but different. I mostly look at women but the way women care themselves in Varna isn't the same they do in Sofia. Still I can say in both cities the people wouldn't go out of their way to help and are reserved. In Varna they're actually even more reserved and minding their own business, but in Sofia they can be openly ruder on public transport.
Inside_Employer5531@reddit
Fetish
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Don’t flatter yourself too much.
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
I can understand that some women are attracted to that behaviour.
But keep in mind that these are the kind of people that would tell you what to wear, and would not let you have your own bank account.
These people were forged in hardship, but they can only operate in hardship.
PreWiBa@reddit
I dont get the bank account comment tbh
For me, if you are in a marriage, the idea of separate bank accounts is silly.
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
Yeah, I guess that is what I am talking about.
With some people there is this idea that family is the smallest unit of society, and father knows everything. I don't like it.
(I was born in rural Hungary, then moved to Budapest and abroad. One could say I am a big city guy from the West, but I know this Balkan behaviour. For me in general Balkans couples have a father-daughter relationship, and Nordic couples have a mother-son relationship, so both are just too much.)
SuedeJacketMonster@reddit
The father daughter relationship in couples is a great observation. I've thought about it the same way too. And I hate it. It feels like my gfs were their fathers' responsibility only to be transferred to me at one point. This lack of agency and dependence annoys and bores tf out of me. I prefer having an equal partner with whom to have discussions and maybe support me or even help me navigate from time to time.
Emergency-Buddy-8582@reddit
I guess you would like the Scandinavian way, then.
SuedeJacketMonster@reddit
There's no need to be that cold either, but some basic self reliance would go a long way.
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
I am a religious guy and only date for marriage, so mentality/values are primary. The most amazing woman I met in my life was from Argentina.
Smart, feminine, happy/optimistic, quite stubborn, organized, with good ideas. She is truly an amazing woman. I moved far from her and we did not continue the courting.
But in general from Hispanic countries there are many amazing women. Optimistic, resilient, talkative, intelligent etc. For me they are the best people so far in terms of culture. And Ukrainian women.
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
Yes, I agree.
For me personally, Spain has felt the best balance so far. And some Latin American women. And Ukraine, maybe Portugal or parts of France.
PreWiBa@reddit
No In my family mum managed all the finances, did taxes and stuff
To this day we discuss every purchase together.
LaurestineHUN@reddit
Yes, they aren't tyrants, you need to match their energy.
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
Yeah, good old Hungarian personal relations.
Once you move abroad, you hear a Hungarian, and pretend to not understand them. Hopefully they continue crying in the dust alone while you live like a local and a civilized human being.
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
Well, I would disagree with that.
"You need to match their energy"
Yeah, the person with the stronger punch is "right". Daddy can punch bigger, but mommy can poison daddy's food. Oonga boonga.
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
😥
Yeah, I would call that domestic abuse.
But everyone to their own preference. I highly prefer capitalism.
PreWiBa@reddit
No, its just the opposite of fascism where a "couple" then makes arrangements like "Ah, you know, since the half of the rent you pay is higher, i will clean the flat more often than you" lmao
What a sad life
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
I don't know.
Think if there is no private property, then there is nothing. No freedom, no life.
In my personal calculation, it is cost almost the same to rent and cook for myself as if a woman would stay with me. I don't expect anything from her, just be respectful and be happy. She lives her life as she wishes.
But I don't judge someone else's life specifically, as I don't walk in their shoes. But I surely believe in the "Strong fences make good neighbours" attitude even in family. Everyone should have their own space.
PreWiBa@reddit
But in the end, everyone has preferences.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I have noticed tha in cultures where people live in partnerships where a man or a woman takes the lead specially of financials and decisions making, it usually includes ALOT of trust and social accountability. The woman’s family and government laws would hold the man accountable if something happens to her. Does that make sense? And most of these couples also don’t realize there’s another way of doing things, kinda what society dictates and people conform.
Active_Drawing_1821@reddit
Telling you what to wear and not letting you have your own bank account? What kind of people did you grow up with, and what century are you from?? 😅
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
In rural Hungary it surely happens.
Active_Drawing_1821@reddit
I didn’t know Hungary was considered a Balkan country.
One-Act-2601@reddit
most married men I know let the woman run the finances.
Justanotherbastard2@reddit
Balkan countries are not as urbanised and professionalised as western countries, which leads to a real wide range of behaviours. You do have the typical village machos, gym pumped knuckle dragging baboons and loud dominant businessmen. But you also have the other side of the spectrum, really gentle and mild, almost feminine guys. Funnily enough lots of Balkan women prefer the second type as they are wary of the dominant types.
What is missing is the ideal middle, normal guys who communicate well, can be assertive if needed but don’t fly off the handle.
imrzzz@reddit
That's just Superman, he doesn't really exist.
Lazy-Relationship-34@reddit
You sweet summer child...
ExtremeProfession@reddit
She's not wrong though, in most urban centres men won't expect anything in return.
MechoThePuh@reddit
Thanks for noticing
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Thank you! We appreciate it! 🤝
webelieve925@reddit
Wife beating and abuse is also a thing
webelieve925@reddit
Wife beating and abuse is also a thing
vbd71@reddit
It's called ghayrah
r3giment75@reddit
Skip leg day. Only focus on chest and arms. Shave head. Never smile. 🤡
vasjpan002@reddit
Much is abusiveness from Turks. When rules are inconsistent and whimsical, the victim no longer relies on their own judgment; Slavery, cults and abusive relationships depend on unpredictability to teach helplessness and masochistic guilt in order to obtain obedience to irrational passive aggressive mythology that refuses fact finding from adversarial dialectic debate. Algorithms that now search based on unobjective criteria like popularity or conformity contribute to rancour. The endless clutter of seemingly conflicting results, that new findings automatically discount old just because of novelty, contributes adherence to irrationality precisely because they refuse to be restrained by collective human experience, but instead arrogantly claim only they can be right. You are sinfully ungrateful to question benificent omniscient bureaucratic inconsistency. This is just as true about social media as well as government bureaucrats and university hissy fitters resulting in defeatism in an unreasonably angry general population.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Hmm, I get your point about how unpredictability can condition people to doubt their own judgment. that’s a legitimate psychological dynamic, and it does show up in abusive systems, institutions, and even individual relationships. (I’ve experienced coercive control, and it makes you shrink to the point you barely recognize yourself.)
But I think you’re overextending it by applying it to entire cultures. What I experienced wasn’t confusion or dependence, it was directness and a sense of grounding.
What you’re describing produces instability, what I experienced and was questioning was the opposite.
LaVeriteEstDansLeVin@reddit
Balkans have an inferiority complex and every tourist is seen as a god that should be served asap
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I am inclined to agree that it’s probably business maintenance. Balkans are too full of pride to have an inferiority complex, maybe only amongst yourselves but doesn’t translate to the outside world.
frex18c@reddit
You do not understand Balkans, do you? If Balkan people did not have inferiority complex, there would not be "we are actually not Balkan cause we are better, only the rest of you are" from various Greeks, Croats and so on every 5 minutes.
Of course Balkans have inferiority complex. People are not stupid and are aware of current state of their countries.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
That’s why I said “amongst yourselves and not translated to the outside world”
It’s true yall are fighting over who is better but for me as a person from the outside Balkan, whenever I visit they always seem to be so proud of where they are from.
So you can fight amongst yourselves all you want all i see are people thinking they are better or best (pride)
icy_guy26@reddit
Hell no, it's just business maintenance
Citaku357@reddit
No he is absolutely right about that
LongjumpingEconomy93@reddit
Ma sta seres picketino. Kicmu cu da ti polomim.
( joke)
Leather-Card-3000@reddit
Ah yes , the 102948471738575th "unpopular" opinion about how non-balkans see balkans because they had some distorted impression that westeners generally have and then see we are actually decent humans.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Never said decent humans. Just different level of masculine energy.
frex18c@reddit
Well lot of women have masculine energy according to you I guess... This isn't anything masculine. Women do that to.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
According to me? Not so sure what are you basing that on but this isn’t meant to be a competition between masculinity in women vs men.
Leather-Card-3000@reddit
Yea, what you call "masculine energy" i'd call being a decent human. You don't need a specific "masculine energy" to be kind, protective, caring and whatever you described, but you just bias it.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Decent humans and describing an energy are not synonyms.
But I do thank you for answering my question and telling me I am biased. I am realizing I am biased, Maybe I didn’t spend long enough in the Balkans to see the actual face of the society
Intelligent-Turn-939@reddit
As an Albanian living abroad, I can confirm...it’s not even a conscious thing. You just see someone struggle and your body moves before your brain does. It’s how we were raised. No agenda, no expectation. Just help and walk away.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
This is what I meant. Thank you for confirming.
veleso91@reddit
Imagine being this thirsty for a Balkanoid 💀
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
What’s a balkanoid?
kuzimir@reddit
You're not ready to find out, kiddo
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Fair enough, grandpa. Lived all my life not finding out lol
kuzimir@reddit
I'm not your grandpa, girl
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
And I’m not your kiddo, whoever-you-are.
kuzimir@reddit
I'm not your whoever-you-are, sunshine
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I am not your sunshine, buttercup.
kuzimir@reddit
I'm not your buttercup, cupcake
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I am not your cupcake, honeybun
kuzimir@reddit
Yes you are
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I’ll take it that as a compliment. Thanks, sugar.
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Get a room guys
Hopeful_Addition7834@reddit
It refers to caveman mentality, where the guy with the bigger punch is "right".
Kind of like a wordplay of Balkans and ape/proto-human.
No-Specialist-1435@reddit
Seems like something an autochauvinist would say
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to explain it to me.
hitlicks4aliving@reddit
MoneyLaunderX@reddit
Went on a date with a Danish women yesterday. What you described was the exact same vibe she got from me. That being said, I’m fairly traditional, but not in the caveman way.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I hope you had a good time!
MoneyLaunderX@reddit
I indeed did! Already scheduled a second date. She directly told me, that she was looking for a masculine and somewhat traditional man, so she could be in her feminine energy. She even said despite all the equality debates going on, it wasn’t entirely what she prefers.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
This is so lovely!! I hope it works out well, take it slow and enjoy each other’s company and cultures. There is no rush. Wishing you happiness and peace!
MoneyLaunderX@reddit
Thank you very much!
The culture aspect isn’t an issue at all. Being born and raised in Denmark makes it fairly easy 🤩
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I got introduced to the Balkans a while ago after dating a guy from Kosovo (he never lived there past his early teens) it was very very hard.
We thought culture wasn’t a big issues specially he didn’t live there much as an adult but it slowly became one. I believe he is a good person but from my experience, culture and differences can blow up a relationship if not attended properly.
Best of luck and enjoy every minute!
MoneyLaunderX@reddit
Was he a Christian or a Muslim? Might be one of the reasons for that. The Albanians I’ve met here in Denmark, who has Danish partners, have been super chill, but I obviously cannot see the whole picture.
Hefty_Jaguar4305@reddit
That can't be right, the Goranci in Kosovo and Torbeshi in North Macedonia are strong men, just look at the oil wrestlers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7na0pt-Al1E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYd2066058c
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Is that some sort of a local sport? Or just randomly wrestling?
Hefty_Jaguar4305@reddit
only in some areas of the Balkans, but especially in Turkey in East Thrace, Edirne, there is an annual festival.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4k5o_EFMBG8
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Thank you for introducing me to something local! I watched pro-wrestling in Beijing, fascinating how strong the human body can be!!
Hefty_Jaguar4305@reddit
Among Balkan Muslims, masculinity is also measured by whether a man is circumcised. The circumcision ceremony thus also signifies embarking on the path of manhood.
You can also read here:
https://www.ceeol.com/search/article-detail?id=921508
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I have watched a Bosnian movie, can’t recall the name right now, that mentioned that there is even a circumcision ceremony?
Not sure how we got here tho lol
best_decision1234@reddit
The general vibe of the guys over here is definitely masculine, I’m from Bulgaria.
medved76@reddit
Unpopular opinion?
Lazy-Relationship-34@reddit
An Aromanian! You are the coolest!
SuccessfulTrainer698@reddit
Next time bring a brown skinned friend and see the vibe 🤣
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I am brown skinned 😭😭😭😭
kra73ace@reddit
I open doors...even to the Mall. It's very much ingrained.
SlatkiMicek@reddit
Yes. We be savages.
aliahmeti444@reddit
absolutely, they’re very helpful when it comes to domestic violence stats
Separate_Business880@reddit
They want to get in your pants, and/or get a visa.
Grounds4TheSubstain@reddit
Unpopular opinion: the people reading my comment are good.
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Thanks sir/ma’am.
J0hnnyBlazer@reddit
Think you missed the sarcasm was actually funny comment he made
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
Went right over my head.
TurdEye69@reddit
Can confirm your observations. It makes sense historically. The region has gone through a lot and caring for the close people was essential.
evaskem@reddit
What I noticed is they're genuinely attentive in that old school way, like they'll notice if you're cold and give you their jacket before you even say anything. Small things but they add up
A lot of Russian women I know who've dated Balkan men say it feels comfortable because the dynamic just makes sense
Not saying it's perfect for everyone but for women who are used to that kind of straightforwardness it's a green flag
wtfisthissssssssssss@reddit (OP)
I was in one restaurant and asked a waiter to help finding one place and while he explained to me I was frantically typing what he was saying on my phone. And he said “ no hurry” I said my phone was dying.
they gave me free dessert while they charged my phone. For me this is such a top tier behavior.
realMLsanta@reddit
You are so extremely biased, good job
PreWiBa@reddit
It depends
Most are protective, but Balkan people are also very emotional despite the known stereotypes
Relationships are emotional rollercoasters often enough
TheMediumJanet@reddit
I don’t fit this description but neither of the Balkan countries I descend from is included so it might still be correct