How many friends and acquaintances do you have in your life?
Posted by WoodpeckerWoodChuck@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 68 comments
Do count your friends and acquaintances separately. If you want to add how the numbers have changed over time, do talk about that as well.
OstravaBro@reddit
I would day 7 good friends, then maybe 8 to 10 sorta friends / acquaintances.
Apart ftom one good friend that i work with (we've known each other all our lives) I dont count the people i work with as friends or acquaintances.
RoyofBungay@reddit
Never had a friend in my adult life nor married. Just prefer to live in my world free of drama and absolute autonomy. Yes, for reasons various have had mental health assessments and all have come back as normal and well adjusted.
But I have travelled and worked in over 40 countries, did a degree in my late 20s and currently thinking about doing a Masters at some point.
All of which I could not have done without some form of compromise. Which I will never do for anyone.
tomcampbell88@reddit
Genuinely curious as to why having friends would mean compromising travel or study?
RoyofBungay@reddit
Because it would typically involve having to do something you would rather not do. Life is too short for that nonsense.
tomcampbell88@reddit
As in doing stuff with friends you’d rather not do? Other than going on a stag do with a friend who has other friends you don’t know or don’t like I genuinely can’t think of an example of that
RoyofBungay@reddit
Never been on a stag do as it would require a friend of which I have never had. Besides, going out and getting pissed is not my idea of socialising.
A decent restaurant with good food and professional staff would be a much better idea.
tomcampbell88@reddit
Some of these replies make me sad. I’m in my late 30s, I have a long term partner, I’m neurodivergent. I think I’d say 20-30 friends, as in people I speak to and see at least a couple of times a year across different groups. Maybe double that for acquaintances? I genuinely couldn’t say. Of those friends maybe 10 or so that I’d say are close ones. Then there are work colleagues I get on with, partners friends etc.
None of my friends are people I met at school, all people I met through my late teens to adulthood up til now. I’ve read people say they don’t have friends because of drama but there isn’t any drama to speak of, no arguments or falling out. A bunch of us recently hired an Airbnb in countryside and just around telling each other how great they were. Having friends rocks.
Ready-Fox-3264@reddit
I have 3 extremely close friends I’ve known for 11, 17 and 18 years respectively. They consider me part of their family. Two are married, one isn’t and I’m not, either.
I have many acquaintances I see regularly but I wouldn’t call them friends. They’re people I can do fun stuff with and that’s about it. This isn’t my definition of a friend.
newtobitcoin111@reddit
2
Derfel60@reddit
12 friends, 6 acquaintances. My friends have all been my friends since i was at least 15, 6 since 11, 1 since 9, 4 since 5. Acquaintances ive known 2 since 11, 2 since 16, 1 since 23 and 1 since 25.
mosleyowl@reddit
If my wife counts as a friend, 1, if not then 0.
I have colleagues I chat to at work and parents I say hi to at the school gate and then that’s about it.
Streathamite@reddit
Are you happy with that? Genuinely not trying to be judgemental but can imagine a situation where the only person I have to talk to is my partner (as much as I love him).
WoodpeckerWoodChuck@reddit (OP)
can't you mean?
Streathamite@reddit
Yep - have edited now!
WoodpeckerWoodChuck@reddit (OP)
well in that case, how many friends, acquaintances and foes do you have?
Streathamite@reddit
Close friends? I’d say four. Other people that I’d consider friends - about a dozen. Then there are the people I see socially through work functions or children’s parties who I’d consider more acquaintances but they’re too numerous to count.
I’m genuinely surprised by the number of people who don’t seem to have any friends. Especially those with children. Having kids is a great way to meet other people at a similar stage in life who live locally. Sure, I don’t get on with all of them but there are a few that I genuinely enjoy hanging out with
BoysenberryTiny8138@reddit
A lot of non married people strive for happiness via friends but can never achieve what married people have - a partner in crime you can actually raise kids together, that’s why you see copium from non married / kidless families but whenever it comes to their death bed they regret not getting married / having kids - seen it WAAAAAYYYYY too many times to the point where women have counciliking sessions because they chose not to settle down and they cry for kids they NEVER had, wild shit, too many mental health problems with men to be taking on their baggage and trials and tribulations, I get enough of that from my wife 😂😂😂
Pick_Up_Autist@reddit
Treat yourself to a full stop or two pal, you'll sound less like a crazy person.
Dan_Quixote_@reddit
How many people have you seen on their deathbed trying to get counselling?
SlightlyIncandescent@reddit
Other than my best friend, I'm basically in the same situation. Its hard to make friends after a certain age. People have shit to do.
Tranquillian@reddit
I’m the same but long distance girlfriend who I see once a fortnight at best. At 42. No friends apart from work colleagues. But I’ve not had a single friend since I was in primary school, in terms of someone I would see outside of college/uni grounds or work. Struggle with social anxiety and lack of ability to small talk. Put me in a pub having drinks with a work colleague that I get on with and I’d have absolutely nothing to say, it’d be very awkward.
meadowender@reddit
Well I've got no friends and live alone. I even work by myself for the most part. There are other people where I work but in different roles to mine. Most conversations are just about work or are very surface level, shallow. I've got 3 siblings but we aren't really close. 1 brother I see once or twice a year, another maybe once a month and my sister mostly by text.
I'm fine with it quite honestly. If I got home on Friday night and didn't see or speak to anyone til Monday, that doesn't bother me at all. I like the peace and quiet and not being involved in other people's lives, dramas, problems
Monkeyboogaloo@reddit
3 in inner circle (was 4 one died last year.) 8 in next ring - these are people who I would drop things for if they called for my help. Another 8 who I see for beers every month.
And a very large ammount of aquaintences through work etc. Many that I have known for 25 years.
midnightpunt@reddit
20 close friends & I guess 20-40 acquaintances
Tank-Girl89@reddit
I literally have my husband, he’s my best friend. I did have a close friend who I was friends with over 10 years, spoke every day but during Covid I realised how it was just a friendship of convenience (on their part) and I was just useful for things. I ended that. I have colleagues who I like, but I don’t trust anybody anymore to let them in. I’m also never someone people ever think of or contact to ask how you are, even with family. It was always me doing the calling and when I stopped, I never heard from anyone.
atsevoN@reddit
0
Imadeutscher@reddit
3 who i would call real friends, rest just say hi and small talks
Professional-Test239@reddit
I have loads and loads of close friends but no acquaintances.
Jenpot@reddit
Five friends, two of which are long term ones I don't see or speak to as much nowadays (different cities, different lives, etc). I find it hard to maintain friendships and would say I'm only really properly close to my husband and one or two friends.
Many acquaintances because to me that ranges from people at my book group, to a school parent I recognise and will nod hello to in the shop.
Educational-Angle717@reddit
Friends are difficult though arent they becasue it could be friends in groups like you have multiples of those. Acquantances how far are we going? I get on pretty well with my postman and the barmen in my local so do they count?
Capable_Tip7815@reddit
Friends? 0 although I count my partner as my best friend. Acquaintances? Maybe 2.
I am 47F.
SlightlyIncandescent@reddit
Tricky one, depends where you draw the line. If a friend is someone you could trust with anything and open up to and ask for advice I'd say 2 friends.
If its someone where you could invite them to your house and it wouldn't be weird its probably 100+ people.
There's a level between those as well where its someone you're truly at ease and are yourself around them but don't necessarily have best friend level trust. Then there are probably 5-10.
Real-Apricot-7889@reddit
What’s your definition of friend vs acquaintance as I feel like I couldn’t possibly count my acquaintances as that’s such a big number… isn’t that just anyone I know and am friendly with and might stop for a brief chat if I bumped into them? So would be a v large number but maybe you define an acquaintance differently. I would say I have 17 friends. Then there’s people who are between friends and acquaintances who I might make plans to meet occasionally like former colleagues I’m still friendly with but idk how to categorise those.
adamMatthews@reddit
I tend to say that people I’ve met for only one reason, like a job or specific hobby, are acquaintances. People who I’ve met for multiple purposes, like meeting at a hobby then having a barbecue at someone’s house, or meeting at work then going to play football, are friends.
There are lots of people I see weekly or daily at work or hobbies, but I wouldn’t say they’re friends because we only ever talk about work or that hobby, topics outside that are smalltalk. But there are other people I see maybe monthly or less that I’d say are friends, because we meet for each other and the place we meet doesn’t matter so much.
Real-Apricot-7889@reddit
Fair enough. Then possibly my friends number is bigger e.g. former colleague I meet up with for a sport, my husband’s friend who I have sometimes see without my husband due to a shared interest.
I still think the idea of counting acquaintances is crazy as with your definition that is sooo many people unless someone lives a very isolated life.
Prestigious_Emu6039@reddit
1 close friend for me, my wife has half a dozen or so, next tier are the various neighbours and locals we talk to 2 or 3 times a week, outside that maybe another 100 or 150 folks in our village or so people we know fairly well but not close.
jamaicancarioca@reddit
One friend and one wife. One cousin that I am close to. Maybe a handful of good acquaintances. Small circle.
WhalingSmithers00@reddit
Friends about 7.
Acquaintances I've got no idea and I don't think you understand that basically means someone you know exists and they know you exist in return. I've worked in public facing roles in a large office so the amount of people who will say hello to me in the street is in the hundreds.
St2Crank@reddit
To me an acquaintance is someone you know and can have a chat with in a social circle, go on a night out with, friend of a friend etc. but you’d never just ring them up and go out just the two of you.
Impossible_Delay1023@reddit
Iv just split with my missus so that’s one friend less I guess, so puts me down to 1 best mate I see regularly (who I met as a adult) then 1 other best mate (who Iv known from childhood) that I see maybe 3 times a year. Apart from that every one else I know outside of work are just people I say hi to if I bump into that
MarilynManson2003@reddit
None.
I had about two dozen in High School, but I haven’t had any since.
Which-Particular-438@reddit
Hardly any now! When you are single and not part of the couples crowd, you get pushed out as friends move on and only associate with their groupe, and when they have kids their priorities change.
I had quite a few friends at college and university but gradually they disappeared, I used to have a work colleague who I got on really well with and then he left. My remaining work colleagues are more colleagues than friends.
PatchcordAdams@reddit
14 good friends plus maybe 7 or 8 peripheral sort of friends.
Adam-West@reddit
Friends I talk to one and one regularly… maybe 7. Old friends I talk to occasionally-mostly in groups probably 20. Acquaintance’s hundreds.
Horror_Extension4355@reddit
In mid 40s i realise with absolute clarity that I went through nearly a decade of my life without having any close friends near me. Yes colleagues and wife’s friends but in a new city jn a new job I didnt build up any long term permanent friends. I do now.
dragons-tears@reddit
1 friend 6 of the other im and introvert
sin0shine0@reddit
Me too. I have 5 friends and no acquaintances. I don't want any more people, 5 is enough. I say hello and have small talk with people around the area but we don't hang out.
GuybrushFunkwood@reddit
Friends, as in “I’m in the shit I need help” friends then 2. Acquaintances as in “yeh I’ll nip you to the airport” probably a dozen but I wouldn’t ring them for anything really important.
auntie_eggma@reddit
Your definition of acquaintances is people who would go out of their way to take you to the airport? I wouldn't even ask my friends to do that.
GuybrushFunkwood@reddit
Ok then that’s you I’m not you
auntie_eggma@reddit
My point is that is a big ask for someone you wouldn't call a friend.
Someone who would go that far out of their way for you is...just an acquaintance?
Ill_Tonight_2069@reddit
A lift to the airport isn’t really a big favour though .
auntie_eggma@reddit
...going out of your way to drive someone somewhere you weren't going that is quite hassly to drop people off at?
I wouldn't ask anyone who wasn't a close friend.
Ill_Tonight_2069@reddit
I guess the definition of ‘close friend’ different for everyone. And how far you live from the airport.
GuybrushFunkwood@reddit
You seem quite invested in this for some reason so I’ll genuinely do my best to answer. So (to me not you) I’d call a ‘friend’ someone you’d turn to when you’re at your absolute lowest … an acquaintance I’d happily lend my log cutter too, or nip them to the airport, or ask them to nip me to the garage etc but the relationship is nothing more than ‘pleasantries’ ….
Again I’m from a farm village so I understand it may be different to you but at the end of the day I suppose it’s whatever your own thoughts and feelings are about the people in your life.
WoodpeckerWoodChuck@reddit (OP)
A dozen acquaintances? Where'd you meet them?
GuybrushFunkwood@reddit
A few of them are from my hobby (retro gaming) but mostly they are other farm owners from the village so yeh it’d be perfectly normal for me to get a text message asking if I could take someone to East Midlands airport in a couple of weeks (and I’d happily do it obviously) …. But actual close friends then only 2.
adreddit298@reddit
Maybe 5 friends if I stretch it a little. Then I had about 10-15 people I was friendly with, but didn't see outside of the club I was in. But I just left that club, so won't see them again most likely.
Plus maybe 3 or 4 people that I've known forever, only see once or twice per year, but we just pick up wherever we were last.
JohnCasey3306@reddit
1 wife, 1 friend, maybe a dozen-or-so regular acquaintances.
Max1357913@reddit
4 friends who I’d tell everything to and who I consider basically as close as family. Probably 10 more who I’m very close to and see at least once a month. Then likely another 10 who I see in groups and sometimes text to check in with, but probably wouldn’t go for a pint 1:1 with
It has, however occurred to me recently that I’m 24, and since leaving uni, I’ve made precisely one friend, who sits firmly in the 3rd, least close bracket.
I’ve managed to keep good contact with my uni (and even school) friends, but do feel I should probably do something about that…
jgcarraway@reddit
friends 3, acquaintances around 20
iffyClyro@reddit
I’d say about eight actual friends, a decent number of acquaintances/friends of friends/people my wife is friends wife.
Eddie_F_17@reddit
Close friends (people I count on for stuff, would trust with intimate info) maybe like 3 or 4 people?
Regular friends (we hang out, talk, but wouldn’t share intimates with) 5
Acquaintances are probably like 10+, since I’m in a few different circles.
Altruistic_Lies@reddit
I meet 4 friends every week and go to my local race track to watch every Saturday. I don't do acquaintances, either we are friends or not. Total id say 8 friends who I would meet for a day out whenever I can, but I'd only call on 2 of them in a dire situation, as I know they would help.
RBisoldandtired@reddit
It’s gone from a wide net of acquaintances and 3-4 close friends to about 2 close friends and 2-3 acquaintances and then 5 or so… not acquaintances but not strangers and on friendly terms who I usually see on nights out around town.
I am incredibly easy to chat with and get on with (in person anyways lol) but I often disappear for weeks on end just in my own company doing my own side quests or exploring whatever hyperfocus I have in that moment and it’s been known to really piss people off and I’m also incredibly blunt without meaning to be at times, especially if my masking battery has run out. Although as I’m getting older I’m slowly losing the patience to entertain certain folks and I’m beginning to understand why a lot of older folk seem like angry miserable cunts. They aren’t, they’re just undiagnosed and cba any more 😂
brushfuse@reddit
About 5 friends and zero acquaintances. I don’t like meaningless waffle conversations. Someone is either a friend or they aren’t.
Untrustworthy__@reddit
9 people I genuinely talk to regularly and spend time with. 18 I hang out with and chat to weekly to monthly but only in person.
Go back 2 years then this number shrinks to like 3 and 4. I'm 39, I havent had this many peoole in my social circle since I was a teen, the common advice on Reddit to join clubs/events is a good one.
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