How to break the visit pattern
Posted by ChillingsnKillings@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 7 comments
I’m from the US, live in Europe. I’ve lived here for seven years. I love my life in this country and it has really become my home. I visit the US every other Christmas and every other summer. It is expensive, especially now.
I’m looking for advice on breaking the pattern. Obviously I feel immense guilt about not seeing my family, as we’re really close. But I want a summer in this country where I don’t have to play tour guide, don’t have to spend it all in the US, and can ultimately save money.
How do you deal with the guilt of this? How did you broach this topic with parents back home? Or what kind of visit schedule are you on?
ShinsOfGlory@reddit
Adulting 101
Present-Carob-7366@reddit
My family has always been spread all over the world . When visiting being a tour guide is totally not required
Tardislass@reddit
Why do you have to play tour guide. My family lives on an opposite coast and when we visit rasch other we realize each has a life. Let them know how to use public transit and honestly let them spend a few nights away. You don’t have to be tied at the hip unless you are worried they will have fun without you.
Honestly they may be sad but also happy because they can go on a vacation to somewhere other than your country.
SweetAlyssumm@reddit
You want to save money and have summers to yourself. Those goals are incompatible with remaining close to your family, but it's your life. Just tell your family of your priorities. They won't like it but it's better than warmed over falsehoods, which, in the end, are more corrosive.
Tardislass@reddit
Just be aware of the steep price. Dont expect them to want you to come visit either.
Then-Stage@reddit
For them visiting you just restablish your routine. You don't have to be a tour guide. Let them have dome time to themselves to sight see. It's ok to to eat at home if that's what suits your budget. You are fortunate to have family willing to visit. Mine couldn't care less.
notthegoatseguy@reddit
If you are financially constrained and this is temporary, just say that, and they'll understand.
If you no longer actually want to see them, and you seem to indicate that you don't even want them coming to visit you, then I guess you can tell them that. Don't be surprised if they take that in a way that seems hurtful, and that "really close" bond may no longer be as close as it is now.