Feeling hopeless. Trying to leave US

Posted by Em__164@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 39 comments

I’m at a point whereI am tempted to risk it all and just leave. I have daily panic attacks, spend hours upon hours on research, planning, what to do, what not to do. I traveled last year throughout Europe solo and it was the first time in my life where I felt like I was alive. I went to Germany and Amsterdam, and I cant even begin to explain how at home I felt.

I’m not trying to flee just because its hard here, or make excuses. Its my only reason for wanting to push on really. I dont sleep, I apply to jobs like crazy, but it all seems like for nothing. I have about 20k saved, an Associates Degree, a web design certification, good portfolio, I customize my resume but I dont make it too fancy.

Anyways, my main question is where do I go from here? I dont have kids, dont have animals, I currently live in a camper on my familys farm, I have a truck, but it can be sold a long with the camper. Not really many debts besides those which are loans for about 750 all together per month. My total bills rn are about 1200 per month, but that will be a lot less once I get rid of the things. How and where do I go from here?

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The_whimsical1@reddit

So I grew up in California, moved to the Adriatic Islands when I was sixteen, and have spent the rest of my life bouncing between Europe and the States. I really used to like being in the States but I find it less and less acceptable. I am from the SF Bay Area and Massachusetts. Occasionally I get out to the Red States but really can't deal with anything out there but the camping (which can be fabulous). In general I understand what you're talking about. American life has been rendered horrible. Our food is horrible, our supermarkets overpriced and filled with junk, our medical care insane, our quality of life in general just terrible, and then when you add the currently insane politics and the political bullying I just hate to be in America. Unfortunately my business is there so I have to go back. I understand your pain. It sucks to be in America these days. The only upside is low taxes but the personal human cost of these low taxes is insane.

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Electronic-Call-4319@reddit

oh great another snow flake... saying American food is bad is such a terrjble take. Read actual research...

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The_whimsical1@reddit

I don't need to read the research -- although I do, actually read it. The food quality is terrible in the US. How is this surprising to you? Kneejerk defensiveness is not a good look in the face of reality. My average supermarkets in France and Spain -- both countries I know well -- are far superior to those in the US. And don't get me started on the cost of quite average American restaurants... Grow up. Tech is better in the US. But not food.

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Electronic-Call-4319@reddit

lol imagine thinking intermarche has a better supermarket than Safeway

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Electronic-Call-4319@reddit

you ought to read it again rainbow bright. You will know that agriculturally the U.S. and Europe are similar. Yes, we can discuss food policies and labeling, but to say food is " horrible" is a misnomer. Objectivity is important.

So yes, you need to grow up, and stop peddling elementary talking points.

OkDragonfruit7887@reddit

The way you feel on the inside right now, is how you'll feel abroad, except worse because you won't know your way around or a single person. I assume you speak german or dutch fluently?

I reckon he/she doesnr

Wandering-Yew@reddit

I don't know enough of your personal situation but I disagree with what people are saying that moving won't fix your issues. All of them? certainly not, but environnement has a huge impact on mental health, and if you stay in an environnement and crowd that you feel unsafe in, and deeply unhappy, no amount of therapy will fix it.

I say apply for jobs in Germany, figure out which administrative status would grant you a visa (could you work remotely for a US compagny while living on German soil f.eks? Could you start a business in Germany? Etc). And try. You'll never know until you do it.

I moved from one EU country to one in Europe (geographically) but outside of the EU. I was not happy in my original country, to the point of mental and physical health becoming actually disabling. Moving was the best decision I ever made. It was a risk, and I don't regret it one bit. And yes, I still work on everything and my health, but doing it from a safe, stable place in a culture I fit better in and feel at home, makes a world of difference.

What you have now is not working. Time to try something else. I hope you'll find a place you feel at home. 🤗

Anonymo123@reddit

work on your mental health first, travel later.

To be blunt, I've said this a lot in this sub.. if you don't have something to offer a country, and you have mental health (or medical) issues.. things will be tough. They will happily take your tourism money, but moving there and being a drain on their society will not be looked on well.

I had two friends move to the EU, one to UK and one to Germany and both had to go through a screening to get their visa, which can be pulled without question. They both said they were grilled quite a bit on their financial situation and their medical\mental health history. Both moved with advanced degrees, work visas from their companies and a lot more money and it was iffy for both.

Good luck. Easily migrating to other countries is over, for now.

expats-ModTeam@reddit

Your post was removed because it was deemed your question was too broad. With so many countries originating from and living in, there are simply too many variables. This being said, we strongly encourage you to post again, but to add more details/relevant information that may better guide others to provide you with a more personalized or accurate response. If you feel this was an error, please send us a message and we will review again. All the best, r/expats mod team

JanMikh@reddit

It’s harder to get a job in Europe, especially if you don’t have a work permit and don’t speak the language. You will blow your money in a few months and come back with nothing. May even be deported. Moving to another country requires long preparation, research and valuable skill set. The only way around it is to- marry someone who lives there.

propsNstocks@reddit

Wherever you go, there you are. The US is not that bad, you’ve got other issues to deal with.

snbdmliss@reddit

It is FAR FAR FAR harder to start a life in a new place, especially if you don't speak the languages, than you think it is.

You're mistaking vacation freedom brain with day-to-day reality and I hate to break it to you, but its not the same.

Also an AA is not even recognized at all in Europe, where many people have masters just to start with.

Please work on your mental health first, think about what is important to you, find some clarity and then reassess.

As an aside, moving abroad is the most alone I have ever felt and its difficult to break into these societies. You have to be ready for that. If you don't believe me, go ahead and search this forum about how many people have struggled to make it in Germany.

Helpful-Staff9562@reddit

You were a tourist in europe (im european and living in europe). Once you move whatever is going on in your head now you'll take with you once the hype of the move is over. Try to gmfigure if a mvoe is actually what might solve your bigger problems

Error_404_403@reddit

I think you absolutely should NOT leave now. Not until you get your condition -- and you do have one -- under control. Panic attacks, highs and low -- they'd only get worse as you move, but the object would be different.

Find a specialist and get those emotions under control, and only then move.

CupcakeMountain6660@reddit

Seconded. Panic attacks only worsen when you are cut off from your support system, when you have no family or friends around (this always comes but takes a lot of time), when you are in a country that yes makes you comfortable but still have systems that are foreign to you. Source: moved with an anxiety disorder. Had a bad time.

Tardislass@reddit

Honestly, I’m glad people have good holidays but equating that to actually being an immigrant in Europe is a huge mistake. Running from your problems only means they will come up later in life.

You were on vacation and had no worries of course you loved it. It’s not reality. I say this nicely but please talk to your doctor about getting help for your mental health. Fact is you won’t be able to get a visa in most countries and being an immigrant who doesn’t know the language culture or have support will make your mental health worse.

Living in Europe is NOT a vacation! And being an immigrant anywhere is very stressful.

Advice is to see a doctor and get some relief for your mental stress. Then try to find even a part time job that will help pay for a Bachelors. Then come back to wanting to immigrate.

Distinguishedflyer@reddit

look into citizenship by descent, do you have any relatives who came over from Europe up to your great grandparents?

MPD1987@reddit

As someone who has moved countries 2x in 2 years- once for work and once for grad school, and someone with severe anxiety and depression- I can wholeheartedly echo what everyone else is saying and tell you that simply moving locations will not cause any of that to go away. If you have your heart set on moving, then the best thing you can do is level up your education and focus on getting a job after that. It’s difficult but not impossible. Please take care of your mental health first and foremost

Scary-Net4413@reddit

You can get the DAFT visa in the Netherlands. It's perfect for freelancers.

mybrainisawesome@reddit

Living abroad isn’t necessarily going to make your life easier or less stressful, especially if your fixed expenses are only $1200 a month. Moving abroad can be stressful even if you have your psychological, professional, and financial shit together. If you don’t you’re setting yourself up for failure.

rachaeltalcott@reddit

Look into the Dutch-American Friendship Treaty. It allows self-employed Americans to get a visa to the Netherlands.

No_Pen_376@reddit

I feel you, I understand, but I feel this is just more of a mental issue. Yes, the EU is like the last bastion of democracy, but they have lots of problems as well, depending on the country. You will find that out fast, but maybe it will be less of an issue for you depending on the flavor of problem. I think maybe you should address your personal issue though, before embarking on this journey.

Traveling is different from living; don't act impulsively.

旅行和生活是两回事，不要冲动行事。