Similar to a few posts lately. Is it acceptable for a dad to take their toddler to the disabled toilet rather than the Gents?
Posted by InsurancePurple4630@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 434 comments
I automatically go their if my daughter needs the toilet in public. Got a few frowns today.
witdim@reddit
Yes. The disabled accessible toilet is for anyone to use.
arethainparis@reddit
And it’s really important that people use it as such - not least because it helps remove the stigma and fear for those of us with invisible disabilities!
Dave_Tee83@reddit
As somebody with an invisible disability I would disagree. With my condition, when I need the toilet, I need it NOW. If I can't get into a disabled toilet because an able bodied person is using it because they don't want to wait them I'm likely to shit my pants in public.
OP being with his child is a different story though and totally acceptable.
arethainparis@reddit
Okay, well what if I as a blind person am in there? Shall we do a battle royale out front for who is more deserving of it?
Colleen987@reddit
I was just thinking this, do we then start battling on disability Olympics of who gets to use it next? Weird attitude tbh. I have severe knee issues and use it because getting up is a nightmare in cramped spaces. But I don’t need a medical history of the people on the line.
blueroses8000@reddit
You’re misunderstanding what they’re saying. They’re not saying we should judge and decide who can use them, just that people should morally be doing this themselves so that it’s not taken up unnecessarily for those that actually have a need for it for whatever private or invisible reasons.
I don’t see how that’s a “weird attitude”, why would you think it’s okay for someone with a need ending up in a medically distressing/painful/embarrassing situation because someone with no need just didn’t want to wait in the line for the normal ones.
I don’t think anyone would say someone with a knee issue shouldn’t use them either.
Colleen987@reddit
He just literal words “I need it now!!” And made clear he would down on anyone he considered “able bodied” for making him wait.
Bayff@reddit
If he needs it that bad and his disability is invisible, what’s stopping them from using the normal toilet?
cyberllama@reddit
Normal toilets that are up stairs, normal toilets with limited space to move, normal toilets that are too low, normal toilets with no grab rails, it's a long list.
Bayff@reddit
Yes but if they don’t have a visible disability all of these things are not an issue.
Mobility issues are not invisible.
Pencil_Queen@reddit
Mobility issues absolutely can be invisible.
And it's also quite common for visibly disabled people to also have urgency issues.
cyberllama@reddit
Is that supposed to be a joke that went over my head or do you actually think that?
Bayff@reddit
If someone has mobility issues it’s pretty clear they have mobility issues? Because they are not mobile. If someone can’t climb stairs that’s very visible isn’t it.
I wouldn’t joke about disability. You’re disgusting.
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
[removed]
AskUK-ModTeam@reddit
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people.
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people. AskUK contains a variety of ages, experiences, and backgrounds - consider not everyone is operating on the same level or background as you. Listen to others before you respond, and be courteous when doing so.
AskUK-ModTeam@reddit
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people.
Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people. AskUK contains a variety of ages, experiences, and backgrounds - consider not everyone is operating on the same level or background as you. Listen to others before you respond, and be courteous when doing so.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
A lot of disabilities are invisible that require the disabled toilet. IBS and IBDs, chronic pain and weaknesses that require use of the handle bars, stoma users, people with a seizure disorder or syncope risk that needs more room in case they fall, etc.
Bayff@reddit
Disabled toilets do not exist. That’s literally what this whole thing is about.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
So being pedantic. The law is written as such for people in the grey areas- invisible disabilities. Not lazy tossers who want to take what little accommodation an oppressed community gets.
OP asked if it was right (acceptable), not if it was legal.
Bayff@reddit
Yeah and I’m fed up with entitled people saying we can’t use them when it is perfectly fine morally and legally to do so.
I don’t use them, but if I desperately need the toilet and it’s the closest by far, I’m using it. That’s literally what they are for. To be easily accessible to everyone.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
They are not for everyone. They are for us. Yes, they're called accessible toilets because they're accessible to different types of people who need accommodation- disabled people, parents, etc. And it's not "being entitled" when it's something you're entitled to.
Using something meant for people that need accommodation when you don't need it is morally wrong and, let's be honest, you didn't need a disabled person calling you to task to be ableist, you were either going to it not be either way.
Bayff@reddit
Nope they are for everyone, it takes less than 2 mins to look at the law. It literally states they are for everyone.
Just because you believe you’re entitled & believe me, you’re certainly coming across as an entitled arse. Unfortunately, doesn’t mean you are right.
They are for everyone. Maybe do some research before blindly calling people names.
It’s not ableist to call you out when you’re calling people names and giving out incorrect information. I’ve met a few horrible people like you before & I’ve got no intention to talk with you further.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
Ableist it is. Lie to yourself all you like, you are what you are and only your actions can change it.
Bayff@reddit
Whatever you say, but you’re the only nasty person here.
feralhog3050@reddit
Clean-up is easier (usually) in an accessible toilet, there's a sink right there in case of near-miss accidents etc, or if you need to sort out an ostomy bag. It's not necessarily about being physically able to use the normal toilets
Bayff@reddit
I get that too but that’s surely better than shitting yourself?
blueroses8000@reddit
It would be better if people who didn’t need it didn’t unnecessarily take the accessible services that were provided for them.
Bayff@reddit
I don’t use them, but if I desperately need the toilet and it’s the closest toilet, I’m using it. That’s what accessibility means.
blueroses8000@reddit
I don’t think anyone is being that harsh or black and white about it and it’s also just about common sense and basic human decency. In situations like that I don’t think anyone would think you shouldn’t.
But if you use it just to skip the queue when you could’ve waited and everyone treats it like that and then someone with a difficult situation comes along and can’t use it because of you then you would be causing distress to someone, you might never know about it either but that’s what the result would be.
Bayff@reddit
I would like to think so but if you go through these comments it tells a completely different story unfortunately.
blueroses8000@reddit
Plus the specific scenario is about people without disability/illness wanting to skip the normal toilet queue, so it means the person who needs it has to queue (potentially in distress) on top of not have the space and facilities of the accessible toilets.
Individual_Bat_378@reddit
Exactly, I have Crohn's so am one of those people who may need it urgently. My personal opinion is we should let go of saying it's not for able bodied people but understand it's for those who do need it. For example if someone ate something bad and needs to go now, otherwise they'll have an accident, they may count as able bodied but their need and the outcome, should they not get to the toilet in time, is the same as mine. It's the people who can wait and don't need the extra space who are frustrating!
blueroses8000@reddit
The whole point of the specific scenarios we’re talking about are about people taking the accessible toilet to skip the queue of the normal ones.
Dave_Tee83@reddit
That's not what I said at all. I'm saying people genuinely able bodied with no need to use it shouldn't. It should be there for the people who do, for whatever reason that may be. Just have some common sense and courtesy about it is all I'm asking.
blueroses8000@reddit
I’m shocked at how callous and cruel people are being. There are multiple comments basically saying those without disability/illness should be able to use the toilets and screw the people who actually needed it.
Bayff@reddit
Yes, because that’s what the toilets are for.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
It's bigotry, plain and simple. Shouldn't be surprised at this point, unfortunately here
your-mum-joke@reddit
Nah l, shit yourself.
blueroses8000@reddit
What’s the issue with saying his illness means he would need it now? He’s literally just describing the issue that it cannot wait like how those without the illness can wait in line after they feel they need the toilet and hold it in.
He’s not saying he would look and judge and see if someone looks disabled enough to use the toilet and look down at them if they didn’t. His own illness is invisible so how would that make any sense for him to do?
He literally just said if someone who is able bodied uses it unnecessarily and means he can’t then they’re potentially leading him to have a disastrous outcome. Read it back.
You’ve added a lot of stuff that was never said, and possibly revealing some judgement yourself if you don’t understand the predicament of illnesses that cause people to be in these distressing scenarios.
twirling_daemon@reddit
He said he would judge an able bodied person exiting the accessible toilets in front of him
How does he know they’re able bodied‽
That’s the point people are making. He literally stated he judges ‘able bodied people’ because his needs are more extreme & important
An awful lot of us are pointing out that you can’t tell if someone is actually able bodied & the severity of their need or their actual requirements
He now appears to be backtracking and certain people are backing him up with their own interpretations but his own, actual words were (ironically!):
“As someone with an invisible disability I would disagree. With my condition, when I need the toilet, I need it NOW. If I can’t get into a disabled toilet because an able bodied person is using it because they don’t want to wait them(sp) I’m likely to shit pants in public”
The irony is in case you require additional info that this person apparently appears able bodied but absolutely, definitely needs accessible amenities. But, is judging others who may also appear able bodied but also, absolutely, definitely needs accessible amenities
jamnut@reddit
The shit Olympics
Dave_Tee83@reddit
Absolutely fine by me. That's what the disabled toilet is for. Not for non-disabled people to use to jump the queue! Same as people who just park in disabled or parent and child bays because they can't be arsed walking the extra few feet and think it's justified.
However busy the car park is, I don't park in those spaces, because people with disabilities or children may come along and need them.
arethainparis@reddit
So what’s your plan for verifying who actually needs it, according to your criteria? Shall we mandate disabled people carry their medical files about to show to you on demand? I’d point out that most people with invisible disabilities don’t qualify for blue badges (whereas I do) - shall I start enforcing blue badge checks, as I’m one of the few real disabled people?
Dave_Tee83@reddit
Why are you putting words in my mouth? I'm not saying that. Nor am I saying we should have a 'disability olympics' battle royale for who is more deserving. It should work on trust and honesty. The disabled/accessible toilets should be kept free for the people who need them.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
Nope. It makes no sense for it to sit empty while “normal” people wait. If you have a condition where you suddenly need the toilet in the next ten seconds, that’s on you to manage, not the entire world to leave a toilet open for you in every public space at all times.
Plus if you walk in and there’s a queue and you say “I’m so sorry but I urgently need the accessible toilet” everyone is letting you through, been there done that many many times.
blueroses8000@reddit
Wow..so facilities provided for people who have disability or illnesses are not necessary as it’s up to them to manage them and any that you see you dismiss as not being for them.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
Not at all what I said, don’t put words in my mouth.
OdinForce22@reddit
You have no understanding of disability if you think that some people with certain conditions have any ability to control them.
Such an ignorant take.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
I was married to a disabled person for ten years, and have worked as a professional in disability care, education, and advocacy for twenty. Have spent hundreds of hours assisting clients in public bathrooms.
Yes I do know what I’m talking about.
OdinForce22@reddit
I feel sorry for any members of the public you dealt with then if this is your attitude.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
Oh the horror of me and my client waiting politely for their turn in the toilet.
Dave_Tee83@reddit
Right, like it's my fault if I have Crohn's and I should just stay at home and not leave the house.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
No but it’s not everyone else’s either.
Like I said, if you walk in and say I’m sorry but I need the toilet urgently for a medical emergency, you will be sent to the front of any queue.
Also- you don’t need the accessible toilet for that condition, you just need quick access to a toilet. So you sitting in the accessible stall just because you need to shit means a person who DOES need the accessible stall can’t use it until you’re done. And based on the people I know with Chron’s you’re gonna be there a while. So you’re the one being inconsiderate in that situation.
Euphoric-Wall-2576@reddit
Sorry, 'normal' people?
DrMoneybeard@reddit
In quotes for a reason
Dave_Tee83@reddit
"not the entire world to leave a toilet open for you in every public space at all times."
I would disagree, that's entirely the point of having a disabled toilet. Hence why some of them are locked and require a radar key to open.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
Accessible, not reserved.
Dave_Tee83@reddit
Accessible, for people who need it.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
Well, luckily it’s not up to you.
blueroses8000@reddit
They’re not saying that, they’re just saying people should be considerate and try not to take it up unnecessarily. Just normal human stuff like offering someone your seat if you feel they need it more.
Euphoric-Wall-2576@reddit
Can I just say it's weird that people are assuming this user is suggesting that the accessible toilet should be somehow policed when they've said no such thing. They just suggested a sensible norm for how use the toilet should be prioritised, which people can perfectly well implement through their own choices. And literally their first reply in this thread was to say that it's fine for the non-disabled OP to use the accessible toilet. Where is all this judgement coming from? As a fellow disabled person, we are the ones who get abused in public if people think we're faking it/not disabled enough, so most of us have zero interest in perpetuating that kind of behaviour.
Dave_Tee83@reddit
Well said, thank you. Finally some common sense in here.
lankymjc@reddit
They’re not asking for checks, they just think people shouldn’t need it unless they think they need it.
BeatificBanana@reddit
It's an ACCESSIBLE toilet. Not a disabled only toilet.
WheresWalldough@reddit
what does "accessible" mean?
BeatificBanana@reddit
It means it can be accessed by everyone including but not exclusively people with disabilities
feralhog3050@reddit
Used to be known as the "disabled" toilet, still is often, but that kind of implies the toilet doesn't function. So changed to "accessible", meaning it follows a set of regulations so that a wheelchair user can use it independently (or with a carer if needed), so wider door, low-level light switches, space to turn around inside, lowered sink, pull cord alarm, etc.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
There are legal guidelines for accessible toilet if you want to read them.
Dave_Tee83@reddit
Right. I'm not disputing that. People with disabilities, invisible or not, fine. People who need an accessible toilet, fine. People like OP with his daughter, fine. Able bodied people with no disabilities or accessibility issues or kids in tow who are perfectly able to use a normal toilet but just want to jump the queue and may stop somebody who needs the disabled toilet quickly, absolutely not fine.
adamh02@reddit
So being able bodied excludes you from the accessible toilet?
mtmp40k@reddit
Well if you can wait - why wouldn’t you?
I had a partially paralysed leg for a few years - I didn’t use the toilet that’s for people with greater accessibility needs - because I didn’t need to.
Because a decent person is aware of their needs and makes sure things are available to those who do need those things.
It’s called not being selfish
adamh02@reddit
What's it got to do with waiting?
Do you seriously think if someone is able bodied then they shouldn't be allowed to use the accessible toilet because they have the ability to stand in a queue?
Being able bodied has absolutely no connection to having the right to use the accessible toilet.
Someone with a stoma bag might physically have no problems standing or waiting in a queue but need the accessible toilet for it.
It's got fuck all to do with being selfish. It's nothing more than an unfortunate situation where two people who need the accessible toilet need it at the same time.
ditch217@reddit
How would you know if they are disabled without asking them directly though?
Dave_Tee83@reddit
Like I said to somebody else, it should just work on trust and people shouldn't abuse it. As somebody with an invisible disability I have been on the receiving end of a lot of stigma in these kind of situations, be it looks or comments from people. So I'm not about to start questioning somebody just because they're not in a wheelchair or whatever. If everyone was honest with it then it wouldn't be an issue.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
You know very well that's not the point. The point is that the original responder said that everyone should just use it. The person responding said that able-bodied people should not be using it, except in extreme circumstances. That's the exact opposite of putting disabilities against each other.
Parents with young, opposite gender children, trans people, and temporarily disabled people (such as with an acute injury) would all be included under the extreme circumstances. But if you just don't fancy waiting on line or prefer a private stall- I'm sorry, but your preference doesn't override our right to access (using the general "you", not direct "you" obviously as you, yourself, are blind).
blueroses8000@reddit
They’re saying anyone with no disability/illness should not use them so that those who do have them have priority for their needs and don’t need to wait with everyone else for the normal toilets. They used their specific illness as an example of what could happen if someone who doesn’t have a need is taking it up unnecessarily.
You are someone with a disability so they are not saying you shouldn’t use them, I don’t understand why you think they’re saying that.
Not_Wrong_Tho@reddit
Okay. So what do you do when theres someone with a disability using it?
I hate to be that guy, but the purpose of an accessible loo is the accessibility features, not the promise that nobody will ever use it just in case you need it. If your disability is such that you can't wait for a loo, you probably need to think of taking measures that don't rely on immediate access to a loo.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
You are that guy, and let's be honest- you love being it, or you would educate yourself.
There's not as many disabled people as able-bodied people. With this in mind- there's only, generally, 1 (maybe two) accessible toilets at a given location. The likelihood of there being a line of other disabled people waiting for the toilets is pretty small. However, if there is someone in there, that's a lot different than if any one who feels like it starts using it because it drastically increases the probability of someone using that toilet.
Not only that, it increases the frequency of use which means it gets dirtier and breaks down more often. Add on to that that accessible toilets tend to be in tiny, back closets and kept up to the minimal specs allowed by law (if that) already, you start to realise the issue.
Not_Wrong_Tho@reddit
Shut up.
Ok-Sun-7764@reddit
You do realise the whole point of accessibility is allowing people to do things that they can’t ordinarily do? What measures do you propose they take? Stay at home?
Not_Wrong_Tho@reddit
Yes. Like sit down, stand up. Move around. The person i replied to is clearly able to shit just fine, their issue is entirely proximity. The clue is in the name, they exist for people who otherwise have trouble accessing normally equipped facilities. Thats why they're bigger for wheelchairs or to accomodate an extra person to aid them, have low access sinks and handrails for people who can't stand or sit unaided. They're not there for someone who needs to go more than the next guy.
No. There are products design to catch your shit if you're liable to shit yourself in public. They're available on every supermarket shelf and a lot of research has gone into making sure they're as subtle as possible. If you physically are incapable of ensuring you have immediate access to a toilet and you know you're going to shit yourself if you don't, you should be planning with that in mind; not preemptively blaming people because you don't like the fact that they also use publicly available toilets.
Again. They're modified to enable accessibility for those who would otherwise struggle to use the equipment in regular toilets, not as a fast pass because you can't plan for your own disability.
Isgortio@reddit
Well I can also shit my pants in public due to coeliac, your pants shitting is not more important than mine, and mine is not more important than yours. If it's the closest toilet and you're about to pop, that's the one you go to. If it is the only toilet available, then it is free to be used as well.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
Coeliac is considered a disability. If you need it due to complications from your coeliac, you should. That's common sense, I fear.
Dave_Tee83@reddit
I never claimed otherwise. Please stop putting words in my mouth.
sjw_7@reddit
So why not just use one of the regular toilets? Do you need the specific facilities in the accessible one? Doesn't sound like it so seems you would be hogging the toilet from someone who does need them.
But basically why someone is in there is nobodies business but their own. If they want to use it they can and it really is just an accessible toilet that can be used by anyone.
twirling_daemon@reddit
How do you know they’re an able bodied person?
phatboi23@reddit
i need to piss now, want me to go up the stairs and make me slippy? as most don't realise i have a knee issue etc.
2 minutes at best and we keep them clean around here.
suckyourmum2@reddit
They’re accessible not reserved.
Your right to not shit yourself in public is no greater than anyone else’s.
mtmp40k@reddit
But the imminence might be. Why use something you don’t need?
I had a partially paralysed leg for several years- never did I use the accessible toilet - because other likely had greater need to access it.
I could hold it and wait
Bayff@reddit
Then use the normal toilet? If your disability is invisible like this guy is saying then there is no reason why this person can’t.
They are not in a wheelchair they have no trouble walking, if anything, you have more right to the toilet than them because you are having trouble walking. You arguably need the “accessibility” more than them.
But that’s not what the toilet is for. It’s for everyone.
mtmp40k@reddit
I’m not saying who can and can’t use it.
I’m saying that I assess my own needs, and if I can wait I leave the accessible toilet free for people who might need it more.
You seem rather invested in which cubicle I shit in.
Overall_Dream_3195@reddit
I suggest you start wearing a nappy then. No toilet is going to be left unoccupied waiting for the off chance you may be in the area and about to mess your drawers.
your-mum-joke@reddit
Could always use the non disabled toilets if the disabled is taken? Or ya know just shit yourself 😆
Beneficial_Soup5897@reddit
Wouldn’t you shit your pants regardless of who was occupying the toilet?
Bayff@reddit
I get what your saying but the law is the law. It’s not a toilet for people with a disability it’s an easily accessible toilet for everyone.
Eayauapa@reddit
What if I'm not disabled but the disabled toilet is the only one available and I am literally about to shit myself?
I've been into a women's toilets for the same reason, and nobody cared. If it's coming out, it's coming out.
kittiestkitty@reddit
And those of us who just need a little privacy to do what we’re going to do. As a woman sometimes I need more than a stall. Things can get… messy.
V65Pilot@reddit
I'm a man, but I have to remove certain items in order to do my business, and a regular stall often doesn't give me room to manoeuvre.
kittiestkitty@reddit
I get it! That being said, if I’m ever waiting and a disabled person shows up I will always let them go ahead. So I have that going for me.
V65Pilot@reddit
I do the same...although there may be the occasional exception depending on the urgency of the situation...
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
This is just wrong. It means those who need to use it have to wait ages. And if you use a wheelchair you can't remove the stigma of being disabled
Miss_Andry101@reddit
Do you think disabled people who don't use a wheelchair can just remove the stigma of being disabled?
arethainparis@reddit
I’m blind, I’m plenty aware of the stigma of being disabled, but I’m also aware of how judgemental and harsh people are with me for using the disabled toilets because it’s an invisible disability.
tom56@reddit
I hope you don't mind me asking, it's from a place of genuine curiosity, I'm not trying in any way to suggest you shouldn't be using the disabled facilities. What are the features in the disabled toilet that make it easier for you to use as a blind person? I guess maybe just the extra space alone makes things simpler?
Impossible-Moose4459@reddit
There's also usually some method to raise assistance in most disabled facilities if something happens. Way back when in the UK I had to when caring for my then husband because we couldn't get the door to unlock. It went through to a local care line (same as the at home monitors) and then we had a couple fireman turn up.
There was no option to call emergency services from a cellphone either from that particular site (country park) simply no service.
BriefSpray3765@reddit
I want to say,
You asking this has also made think about this.
A simple question like you asked in a non judgmental way has raised awareness to myself and hopefully other people.
SovegnaVos@reddit
It's one room with everything you need, few obstacles, they tend to be laid out in the same design wherever you go, door that opens wide with a big, easy to find lock, handles to aid navigation, non slip floors, emergency cord if needed...and various other reasons.
Think about it. All you need to do is open the door and lock yourself in. No going into the loos, joining a queue, navigating to a free stall with not much clearance space for cane/guide dog etc, then getting yourself out of the stall, finding the sink, finding the handdryer. All this while navigating everyone else, dodging the cleaner etc.
No_Candle2537@reddit
Not blind so don't take this as fact, but I'd imagine the close proximity of the sink etc would also be much eaiser to manage.
Just-an-idiot-online@reddit
I would imagine also that the door is easier to lock and open rather than faffing with a small lock.
JobAnxious2005@reddit
Close your eyes next time you have a piss
Ned-Nedley@reddit
There’s an invisible/blind joke in there somewhere but I’m not gonna touch it.
forget_it_again@reddit
I can't see it myself
Future-Exercise-7433@reddit
Then how will you know it's there?
JobAnxious2005@reddit
Exactly this.
People on wheels can be the most judgemental sometimes!
LuDdErS68@reddit
They also can not be.
Source: Wheelchair user.
JobAnxious2005@reddit
Ermmmm…. You’re just agreeing with me 😂
BeatificBanana@reddit
They said "can be" and "sometimes". That's implied.
Specialist_-Berry@reddit
If I'm waiting for the disabled toilet and a wheelchair rocks up, I'm letting them use it first obviously
blueroses8000@reddit
Someone without a wheelchair or anything visible might be more likely to need it in an emergency situation.
tcpukl@reddit
Why? Standing waiting might be worse for someone in a wheel chair.
chez2202@reddit
I disagree. You might have a disability which affects your bowel or bladder. The person in the wheelchair could just have problems with their legs and their urgency for the bathroom may be far less than someone else’s. And they will be in there a lot longer.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
Also actually I’m annoyed so let’s do the math. Let’s assume there’s a queue.
First off, if you show up in the queue in a wheelchair or other obvious disability, I’d put good money on everyone waving you to the front to go first.
And even if they don’t. Let’s say there’s 4 regular and one accessible toilet, and twenty people ahead of me in line, and a wheelchair user is behind me. If each person takes about 60 seconds in the toilet, I’m waiting max four minutes for a toilet.
Then the wheelchair user is next, and has to wait for the accessible toilet. It might not be the next available, but still the person in there will be done in about 60 seconds. So they get their turn somewhere between 0-60 seconds later. That’s hardly waiting ages.
But if the accessible toilet sits empty, the entire queue takes 20% longer. No big deal if there’s two, or twenty waiting. But what if it’s an event with hundreds? That’s a significant difference.
And to be clear- I was married to a disabled person for ten years, and I am a professional in the field of disability care and education, so I have spent plenty of time, probably hundreds of hours, assisting clients in the toilet. So I am speaking from first hand experience. So gatekeeping the accessible toilet doesn’t make sense logistically OR ethically.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
It does not take sixty seconds to use the toilet if you have many disabilities or if you have a toddler. People do not wave you to the front of the queue. Many disabled toilets have a change table in them, and parents often want to go first. They take about five to ten minutes.
tcpukl@reddit
Parents have just as much right to use it as any disabled person.
Maybe venues shouldn't merge them.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
So you’re annoyed that people with accessibility needs take longer, because it inconveniences you and your accessibility needs? My point still stands.
Lopsided_Snower@reddit
‘do the math’ - now I’m annoyed
DrMoneybeard@reddit
Why?
Lopsided_Snower@reddit
This this AskUK
DrMoneybeard@reddit
Oh dear I didn’t mean to make you clutch your pearls because you encountered someone who uses a slightly different but entirely understandable dialect.
It’s AskUK not AskOnlyRealBritishPeopleImmigrantsFuckOff
originallyale@reddit
No it doesn’t. It’s there for anyone who needs to use it to use. I look like an entirely normal person and I’ve had people moan at me for having to wait - what they didn’t know was I had to change a stoma bag in an emergency. Since my reversal surgery I sometimes I have to use a disabled toilet still because my bowel doesn’t work like a normal person. I physically cannot wait. My brother uses disabled toilets because of bowel issues too. My mum walks on sticks but prefers a regular bathroom.
Stop judging people. A dad who needs better access to using facilities is as much in need as I am of an accessible toilet because gents toilets are not accessible.
Colleen987@reddit
Vile attitude - bet your one of the crowd who demands people with hidden or invisible disabilities justify why the require accessible spaces.
Moving4Motion@reddit
This will sound harsh, but just because someone is disabled, it doesn't mean they have the right of instant access to all accessible facilities. Women have to queue for the regular toilets all the time.
JobAnxious2005@reddit
Sounding an awful lot like someone that judges someone if they emerge from a disabled bathroom without wheels or a limp.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
It’s an accessible toilet not a reserved toilet. And the commenter above you is right. None of us get to judge if someone else needs it. And having it sit empty while people are waiting on the off chance someone “worthy” comes along is just stupid.
phatboi23@reddit
it usually has the nappy shelf and also men should always be allowed into the disabled toilet no matter anyways :)
some of us have fucked knees, so we can't climb stairs (me).
some have "packages" from their Stoma to dispose of etc. etc. etc.
V65Pilot@reddit
Found the Wetherspoons customer. Why are there always stairs?
AliceMorgon@reddit
I’m disabled and need to use it. I don’t see the issue in parents with little kids needing it too.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
No it is not.
raspberryamphetamine@reddit
Where would you like me to put my pram and 3 year old whilst I go to the toilet then?
Redgrapefruitrage@reddit
Yes this is a massive issue. Going anywhere with my 6 month old son means I either need to find a baby changing area which includes a toilet, or I have to use a disabled access toilet. Otherwise, there is no space for me and buggy in the normal women’s bathroom.
raspberryamphetamine@reddit
I got told to put the pram and child in front of the door once and leave it open…
ThinkIshatmyself@reddit
Yes it is. I'd strongly suggest doing your homework prior to spreading misinformation.
It's a toilet designed to give a person with disability access, to use the restroom safely.
Not just a room for people who are disabled.
witdim@reddit
It actually is. However, if you can produce evidence to the contrary I will consider it.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Honestly no one ever respects anything for disabled people who have no other choice. Also all the parents who park in blue badge spaces to pick kids up when that is literally the only spot wide enough for me to park. Parents put themselves first every time.
witdim@reddit
I get your frustration, and people abusing Blue Badge spaces is absolutely not okay.
But parking bays and accessible toilets aren't the same thing. A blue Badge bay is specifically reserved. An accessible toilet is a toilet designed so disabled people can use it too - not one that everyone else is automatically banned from using.
The real issue is people treating accessible facilities carelessly, making a mess, hanging around, or using them without any thought for people who may genuinely need the extra space/equipment.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
The issue is people nipping into the disabled toilet because it's a tiny bit closer, when they can easily use the ordinary toilets. Oh and parents using disabled toilet and tying up the pull cord so it is not accessible to anyone who is is a wheelchair user.
Euphoric_Wish_8293@reddit
Utter shit.
pjdonkey@reddit
The right for people with disabilities is to have an accessible toilet for their use. Not to have priority access to a toilet over anyone else who may need to use it.
AvatarIII@reddit
Unless it's locked with a radar key
Purple-Caterpillar-1@reddit
Anyone can legitimately obtain a radar key.
AvatarIII@reddit
You can buy most people don't think about it until faced with a locked toilet.
markvauxhall@reddit
It took me a single instance of finding a nappy changing table behind a door requiring a RADAR key for me to go on amazon, buy one, and stick it in the nappy bag.
As our kid grew older, we discovered that our local park has no toilets, except for a disabled toilet guarded by RADAR key. Unsurprisingly little kids using the adjacent playground aren't great at anticipating toilet needs, and so most parents now have their own RADAR keys too.
AvatarIII@reddit
Very much proving my point.
Constant-Map7687@reddit
As someone with a mobility issue who has to use a disabled toilet as i can't walk down stairs or stand for very long i dispute the fact disabled toilets are for anyone. First and foremost they are for people who can't use a normal toilet .
You are right though, op can take his child into a disabled toilet. here in Ireland 99.95% of them have baby changing tables so they can be used by an adult and child.
Majestic_Rhubarb_@reddit
Primarily it’s for disabled to use. Some even have a key that is issued to open them. Don’t use one unless you absolutely need to and have no alternative.
A toddler in male or female toilet with their mum, dad, brother or sister is perfectly normal, neither of you are disabled.
witdim@reddit
I agree with "primarily", but that's different from "only".
Accessible toilets are there first and foremost so disabled people can use them, yes. But that doesn't automatically make them exclusive in the same way a blue badge bay is. Parents with small children, carers, people needing the extra space, or someone dealing with an urgent situation may use them too.
The real point is courtesy: if you don't need it, don't hang about it in. But "disabled people get priority" is not the same as "everyone else is banned".
Jumpy-Sport6332@reddit
It's for anyone disabled to use
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
For anyone disabled to use who needs to use it.
Purple-Caterpillar-1@reddit
No, it’s for anyone who needs to use it… it doesn’t matter whether that’s because they’re disabled, or because the design of the gents isn’t conducive to taking a toddler in, or because the baby changing rooms are in ladies or because they are gender non-conforming and in the current climate fear being attacked for using either the gents or the ladies! Or even just that the queue for the toilet is long enough they will wet themselves!
NoFewSatan@reddit
No, it's for anyone, disabled or not.
J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A@reddit
It's disabled access, not disabled only.
phatboi23@reddit
can't legally also a dick move.
as i don't want to explain my knee issue while i need a piss lol
witdim@reddit
A common misconception.
C0nnectionTerminat3d@reddit
Although it’s worth noting that if there’s another option someone can use, they should aim to use that first. For some people the accessibility toilet is the only option.
Forward_Opposite_789@reddit
The disabled toilets are for anyone that can't wait, is really lazy or wants to do drugs. They can also be used to have sex or sell drugs in.
Actual-Excitement975@reddit
As others have said , it is not a "disabled" toilet it is a toilet that has been made accessible for those with disabilities or extra needs such as baby changing if there is space. There is nothing wrong with using it for a toddler.
Key_Seaworthiness827@reddit
Yes. It's a toilet adapted for disabled. It is not solely for disabled.
EuphoricFly1044@reddit
This should be the top answer. Adapted for use, not solely for use.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
But the one toilet many disabled people can use. I have had to use ones with shit visible on surfaces or wee on the floor. I can't just turn around and use another one.
Slothjitzu@reddit
To be fair, that is a fairly common experience in public toilets that aren’t designed for disabled access.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
You can go to a different stall. We can't.
Slothjitzu@reddit
There isn’t an infinite number of stalls available for anyone. It’s rare to see one stall be an absolute boom site and the rest perfectly maintained. Usually if there’s piss on the floor of one of them then there’s piss on the floor of all of them.
Pencil_Queen@reddit
Now imagine that you are blind and need to find the toilet seat by touch.
Or imagine that you need to transfer onto the toilet seat from your wheelchair by putting your hands on the toilet seat.
That’s why disabled people get upset by non disabled people using the only toilet they can access and leaving it in a mess.
Slothjitzu@reddit
I don’t know why you’d assume it was able-bodied people doing it in the first place. Surely the majority of people using the disabled toilets are disabled, so the odds are that any shit or piss around the place is from disabled people too.
Limp-Boysenberry1583@reddit
My local Tesco has an accessible toilet and mens and womens. The accessible one is nearest to the entrance, the mens is through the gate into the store. I've seen loads of men just go in the disabled one and then leave and it often is for a shit, Tesco make it easy for them.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
Why am I not surprised Tesco has an inherently ableist design?
Probably because of the Tesco's near me:
1) never has toilet paper in any of the toilets ever (said Tesco was also refurbished 6 months after I moved to the area to be less accessible to those in wheelchairs and those with autism than it had been previously) 2) toilet is in a literal broom closet. A medium sized wheelchair can barely fit with an ambulatory user and code the door. Not only that, it has a nonstop alarm beep and has for the 2 years I've lived here, it's always disgusting, and, because it's a retrofitted broom closet, ha pipes haphazardly intersecting where the pull down bar is 3. Actually a nice toilet 4. Can barely fit a wheelchair. Not only that, the regular toilets have so few stalls, able bodied people are often using the accessible toilets because there is just so little access. (This may have been recently fixed after a short bit of construction on their café space- I'm unsure if it added additional toilets as it's upstairs)
(Also, side note, this was not meant as an attack on you at all, just trying to explain the insanity that is our toilet facilities)
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
There's far more than 1. Not only that, yes, it is common to see one stall be an absolute bomb site and the rest be at least mostly respectable, if not fine. And if not? At least you have the physical capability to do something about it. If our toilet gets trashed, we're SOL.
You forget many disabled people were, at one point, abled. You can't actually lie to us and expect us to go along with it. Remember, disability is the one minority you can become a part of at any time.
Slothjitzu@reddit
I don’t know why you think I’m lying, what purpose would that serve to begin with?
In my experience, stalls are either all largely fine, or all a total mess. I’ve very rarely seen one stall covered in piss and the rest totally fine. When one gets to that state, it’s usually because the cleaning staff are terrible or nonexistent. It’s not often because one guy has decided to save up for the day and then empty his bladder all over the place, it’s multiple people pissing carelessly over a long timeframe.
Neuroticcuriosity@reddit
Ah, the men's. You're saying stalls, not urinals, so I assumed you were talking the ladies. I did notice when working security at a dive bar/event space (and, thus, cleaning them) that it actually depends more on the type of group at the event. Certain concerts it would literally just be one stall (similarly to the ladies, because regardless of gender some people are just gross), as it would be one or two guys getting sloppy drunk and pissing everywhere. Others, it would be far more messy because everyone was so high and wasted they couldn't aim. At least that was my experience over multiple years with many different genres of men.
As for what purpose it would serve you, to make you feel better about doing something morally questionable? If you ask someone in this country if they are ableist, many would likely say no. But my experience has been the exact opposite. When you point this out, people get offended because their view of themselves is damaged. However, it's a far better option to take the comments to heart and think about how you might be damaging others. We live in a community. Causing problems for us, whether maliciously or not hurts all of us in the long run. Not only that, being disabled is the only minority you can join at any time and it can be good to remember that.
ktitten@reddit
No but theres usually one or two accessible toilets compared to a number of non accessible toilets.
This is also not my experience with stalls, yes if the toilets are badly kept there will be multiple stalls with piss or blocked toilets. But at least you can shop around for the least worst one if that is the case. People that need accessible toilets can't. More often than not though, there will be a decent stall to choose from out of messy ones.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
There usually won't be shit in all the stalls.
Majestic_Rhubarb_@reddit
If you’re lucky
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
To be fair there is usually more than one toilet in the vicinity able bodied people can use.
Slothjitzu@reddit
Bold of you to assume there’s not piss on the floor of all of them.
Pencil_Queen@reddit
Do you walk into the toilet bare foot?
If you're not disabled then it's simple to use a toilet with a pissy floor - you can even grab some loo roll and mop the floor dry with one shoe in a way that will normally not even get the sole of your shoe wet.
That’s not something most disabled people are able to do. Hence a disabled people asking non disabled people to have some consideration and reduce the number of non disabled people using disabled toilets. Fewer people using reduces the chance of the only accessible toilet being made inaccessible.
Frugal500@reddit
nonsense. If you leave it clean its fine.
Emergency_Stick3963@reddit
The other toilets are like that also.
Ashamed_North348@reddit
I’ve always wondered why folk are worried about taking someone into the gents, there are stalls y’know and you won’t see anyone’s knob!
SuzLouA@reddit
I’m a mum and I have used the accessible toilet for child-related reasons too - when my daughter was potty training, it took a while for her to master the necessary angle (if you don’t have a vulva yourself, you may not know this, but unlike with a penis, our urethras are in a fixed position, so we have to manoeuvre our pelvises in such a way that the wee comes out in the desired direction). So at first it was even odds as to whether it would go in the toilet or cascade out the front all over her clothes, especially when combined with her brief but incredibly irritating habit of announcing she didn’t need a wee and trying to get off the toilet whilst there was literally piss coming out of her 🤦🏻♀️. Because I was therefore having to change her (and sometimes my 🤦🏻♀️) clothes quite frequently, it was a lot easier to already be in the baby change, as well as having enough floor space to be able to move her away from the puddle so I could clean it up without her stepping in it. So for that few months whilst it was become muscle memory, we did use the accessible toilet half a dozen times.
However, I’ve not seen this mentioned yet as another possible solution: I personally would not care if a dad came into the ladies obviously escorting his small daughter, and I’ve seen many, many other women say the same when the subject of dads escorting daughters has come up before. If she’s too young to use the ladies on her own, I assume she’s young enough that you’d be going into the cubicle with her, so you’re never going to be just hanging around without it being obvious why you’re there.
(Oh, and if anyone is now frothing at the mouth to come at me with some TERF bullshit about women needing safe spaces, I honestly wouldn’t bother. A bog is a place to release your piss and shit, not some temple of the sisterhood in which we may celebrate our divine femininity, and you’re never going to convince me in a reddit argument to abandon common sense or my sense of solidarity with trans women, so just downvote and move on.)
tb5841@reddit
As a dad, I never saw an issue with just taking my daughter into the mens' bathroom.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Yeah confirms my reality. Waiting outside the only toilet I can physically use for ages as people spend fifteen minutes in a toilet who can use another one.
And I know that is where the baby change is so that is fine. By the way don't tie the pull cord out of the way in case your child pulls it. That is a lifeline for disabled people.
Willing_Temporary_73@reddit
Or if you do have to tie the pull cord away untie it before you leave is probably the best thing to do or teach your child not to pull it
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Parents think they will untie it before they leave and forget to.
Angelf1shing@reddit
If either of them are disabled, yes. Otherwise, no.
Green_List@reddit
I took my son (who is disabled) into the accessible toilet and upon exiting I was accosted by an elderly gentleman who insisted I couldn't use it because my son doesn't look disabled. I retorted "You don't LOOK stupid yet here we are".
I've developed a thick skin when it comes to these imbeciles
Gingy2210@reddit
Yes its happened to me too! My grandson (12) has intellectual disabilities, he's can't go in regular toilets alone hes too vulnerable (plus he likes playing with taps and water, he'd be in there hours!). We waited outside the accessible toilet with the radar key in a North Wales seaside town. Out came the person in front with their stick. The conversation went like this... "You did a radar key, its disabilities only" shouted the old woman. "Oh I have one" came my reply whilst swinging the key on my grandson's sunflower lanyard. "Well you both don't look disabled" says the old woman. "Well I was brought up never to question or be nosey" said I. She huffed off saying she was going to report us both for misuse of a toilet. I hope she did and got short thrift from whoever she reported us too.
V65Pilot@reddit
I went to use one the other day, but was beaten to it by a young boy. The door was already unlocked and he let himself in. I waited patiently and when he came out, he looked at me and deliberately pulled the door closed so it locked..... Jokes on him, I have a radar key.
place909@reddit
And how were you in prison for misusing a toilet?
Weewoes@reddit
Oh taps and water with mine too lol. Obsessed. Likes to press a finger against it to to spray it everywhere. You cant always be quick enough. She's the same at home, absolute nightmare lol
Upbeat_Branch_4231@reddit
Nat520@reddit
They just don’t know any better. I have an obvious mobility disability, but I can walk. I need the grab bars in the accessible toilet. I still get looks sometimes. I wonder if part of the confusion is that the disabled symbol is a human figure sat in a wheelchair… therefore, they can only envision wheelchair users using it?
Purple-Caterpillar-1@reddit
Indeed, the number of times I’ve been questioned about using both the disabled or parent and child spaces with my son (who has a blue badge, Down syndrome is non-verbal, bolts and uses a push chair for larger children)
I’ve had people say he’s too old for the parent and child spaces (mostly telling me they are mother and baby spaces, so I suspect my gender rather than his age), and other saying he doesn’t look disabled enough for the disabled spaces despite the blue badge!
BitGreedy@reddit
Ha ha! Report to who for "misuse of a toilet?" How can you misuse a toilet by just being someone they don't want using it?
Weewoes@reddit
Yeah I take my kid into them too, shes 10 wears nappies, has a lot of sensory issues among health ones and is diagnosed woth autism, cant stand hand dryer noise although I do try to get her used to it but its me doing it with a warning, she cant cope if one goes off in say the women's, we used disabled cos I need to often change her nappy if she cant get to the toilet in time etc, we put her sunflower lanyard on her when out cos it has her fidget keys and keyrings but also to kind of signal she does need this bathroom lol. Sometimes we get looks cos she doesnt have all the medical things anymore and can look like a normal but naughty child. Doesn't bother me anymore though. Its a shame people still feel the need to judge.
gtrcar5@reddit
I once said "you don't look stupid, but then looks can be deceptive" when someone challenged me for using an accessible toilet in a train station.
The look on his face when I lifted my shirt to show off my ostomy bag.
Upbeat_Branch_4231@reddit
Love it!
shinydoctor@reddit
I mean, as a disabled person, I would rather that ALL toilets were accessible toilets, because having to wait for the ONE cubicle I can safely use, kinda sucks. Especially when it's an emergency.
HOWEVER. I completely understand folk with kids needing to use that cubicle, especially when they have multiple kids to coralle. I have all sons and I'm a mum, so I never had an issue taking my boys into the ladies when they were tiny if needed, but if I'd had a daughter and my husband had to take her to the toilet, I would prefer he take her into the disabled toilet, purely because I'm paranoid and no longer trust men in general. I know my kids are safe with my husband but still.
You're gonna get mixed answers on this question, but it all comes down to the fact that accessibility still, in 2026, just isn't in fact, all that accessible.
Historical_Cobbler@reddit
It became an acceptable thing to just automatically put a baby changing table in a disabled toilet instead of fitting out the men’s toilets like the women’s toilet.
I feel that’s where alot of the issues come from, as a dad I always used them, my wife often had decent cubicles built in.
V65Pilot@reddit
But....I want chaise lounges and wide screens in the men's rooms, just like the womens apparently have....why else would they spend so much time in there?
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Most women's toilets don't have a changing table either. It's in the disabled toilet.
AdThat328@reddit
Disabled toilets are for EVERYONE. It's an accessible toilet, so use it for your needs.
Upbeat_Branch_4231@reddit
So long as there is not a queue of wheelchair-bound people waiting to use it. Disabled toilets are not solely for the use of the "disabled", but rather are disabled-friendly. I'd always give priority to someone in a wheelchair needing it, but otherwise carry on.
AnastasiaRomanot@reddit
throwaway173585@reddit
as long as wheelchair users still get priority as it’s the only place we can go it’s fine imo ( ie if there’s a queue and you’re not disabled and a wheelchair user comes along i’d recommend offering to let them go first just based on my experiences pre and post wheelchair)
ideally there would be more wheelchair accessible bathrooms AND parent/child ones but seeing as there’s not we all just have to make the best of a bad situation
crazycatdiva@reddit
Wheelchair users aren't the only people with legitimate disabilities that may need that toilet. You cannot judge other people's need based on whether or not they use a mobility aid.
throwaway173585@reddit
im aware, i was invisibly disabled for many years, but this is about non disabled people using the disabled loo purely because they want a bit more space or think the mens is gross
crazycatdiva@reddit
You specifically said wheelchair users should get priority though.
throwaway173585@reddit
yes wheelchair users over people who can use the standard toilets, which many disabled people can
pineapplegrunt@reddit
That's not what the post or this reply is about though, it's not visibly disabled vs invisibly disabled people, it's disabled vs non-disabled people. It's true we can't always tell whether someone is disabled but this thread is very much about non disabled people feeling entitled to using the accessible toilet for their convenience at the expense of disabled people who have no other option
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
But they don't get priority.
SeahorseQueen1985@reddit
Yes they do if that disabled toilet is the only toilet they are able to use.
Equal-Tomorrow2442@reddit
Nope. First come first served.
If I need that toilet for my little girl, she's using it no matter who is behind me.
throwaway173585@reddit
you and your daughter can use standard toilets. a tight squeeze and a bit inconvenient maybe, but very doable. wheelchair users cannot physically use any other toilet therefore yes, we have priority
Equal-Tomorrow2442@reddit
I'm not taking my daughter into a men's toilets thanks.
You don't have priority in any way shape or form.
What happens if 2 people with different disabilities need the toilet, do you sit there and moan that your disability is worse?
You sound like you need therapy for your entitledment syndrome
throwaway173585@reddit
get a grip mate, i’m not the one that’s acting entitled here
Equal-Tomorrow2442@reddit
Yet you think you have priority over a toilet. Funny that.
SeahorseQueen1985@reddit
If you can't read 'disabled' and understand the word, that's on you.
Equal-Tomorrow2442@reddit
If you don't understand who can us those toilets, that's on you. But I'd do a bit of research into it mate.
JohnnyOneLung@reddit
Anyone can use the disabled toilet.
It is just a toilet that is designed to be accessible for disabled people to use AS WELL
_rayn3r_@reddit
yeah i commonly see mothers used them so they can keep pushchairs with them so i don’t see why dads can’t, also most of the ones i’ve been in have had changing tables too which i don’t think men’s toilets do
Maleficent-Heart2497@reddit
its fine. They're accessible for disabled people, doesn't mean nobody else can use them. Source; Have a {now grown up) disabled son.
louse_yer_pints@reddit
Yes, it's where I took both of mine. The gents are usually horrific and not a place I'm taking my daughter to pee and I'm not going into the ladies despite all the posts on here saying it's OK.
twirling_daemon@reddit
Sorry you feel that way, myself and honestly all the women I can possibly think of and many randoms I’ve met genuinely have no issues with dads bringing their daughters into the toilet!
There’s always a chance you’ll meet an AH unfortunately because they’re everywhere
If it’s any consolation-I’m more likely to get aggro, middle aged cis woman but because I’m tall & fat I can make people uncomfortable 🙃
louse_yer_pints@reddit
There's disabled toilets everywhere as well as family toilets in some bigger places. There's absolutely no reason for me to be taking my daughters into the ladies toilet. It feels a little entitled to think that all women should just be chill with me cutting about the ladies toilet just because I've got a daughter. I've never not been able to find a toilet with ease to take any of my girls. Not one single woman should be made to feel uncomfortable in that situation just so everyone else can say how accepting they are.
Stuffedwithdates@reddit
Just so you leave it clean and tidy.
Mglfll@reddit
Yes. Nothing weird about it. Get a radar key. In all honesty, probably better option as well. I have 2 sons and a daughter. Radar key allowed me to get my kids to all go, as well as not have to line them up outside the cubicle to avoid all being canned in. My eldest does have ASD as well so gives me a bit of a “don’t judge” moment when people pull me up in doing so taking them out without my wife
Beneficial-Audience7@reddit
I can completely understand why you would do that and I wouldn’t judge. It’s not good enough that baby changes are almost always in women’s loos. Personally I try not to use the disabled toilet if I can possibly avoid it, my partner is a carer and it tends to be that when his clients need to use the loo, a lot of the time it’s needed as quickly as possible as some people aren’t able to wait, or can be waiting while soiled or uncomfortable. You can’t judge from what someone looks like if they ‘should’ be in the disabled loo or not, so there should never be any judgement of anyone.
smurphinden@reddit
I always did it. Less awkward than having to announce your entrance into the women's.
Caryria@reddit
I was in Manchester today and a dad took his little girl into the ladies. Perfectly fine by me.
twirling_daemon@reddit
I’ve said multiple times in these sorts of threads I have zero issues with a dad bringing his daughter into the women’s and often get shouted down by people who are adamant they feel deeply unsafe with a man in the women’s
Despite him clearly being there for his daughter & being uncomfortable
I find it wild
Women’s are certainly not guaranteed to be lovely clean havens by any means but the idea of a little girl having to go into the men’s makes me deeply uncomfortable
Not to mention to my knowledge an awful lot of men’s toilets still don’t have changing facilities if required
More accessible/gender neutral/changing facilities and everyone would be happy but unfortunately that takes money, space, time, consideration & effort which all seem to be things in very short supply
Caryria@reddit
Agreed. Each cubical is private. It’s not like we’re walking around naked in the main area. He was there for his little girl and wasn’t interested in anything else. I barely pay attention to who else is in the room the majority of the time anyway
Mental_Body_5496@reddit
Yes but please be considerate to other people who may need it such as for changing stoma bags or self-cathaterisation or those who dont have any alternative toilet to use.
Greatgrowler@reddit
Yes, I have a four-year-old daughter and also care for a young baby so need the space for three of us including a pram. It’s not a disabled toilet, it’s an accessible toilet, accessible for those that require more space than a standard cubicle.
papayametallica@reddit
No problem I used to do it with mine. The only complaint I had was from a woman who was on her own who couldn’t use the more public areas because they were so unclean
Level_Engineer@reddit
Often they're fitted with fold down baby changing tables so, yes, as a dad I have and will continue to use them as intended.
Squirrel_Worth@reddit
I’m disabled and a woman. Feel free to use the ladies, you can use the disabled too but please be as quick as possible, we don’t have any other options and the disability could mean we need it now.
Great_Ad9524@reddit
Yes , it is if no one ( disabled ) is using it
Asher-D@reddit
I mean that goes for any toilet. If it's in use, pick another toilet or wait, obviously don't use the toilet when it's already being used. Should go without needing to be said.
jabbo13@reddit
Nah nothing beats a double Decker where you simultaneously shit but the top deck has to aim between the gap in the legs of the person below.
twirling_daemon@reddit
Unexpected L Word flashbacks 🤣
LordJimmy84@reddit
Yes. I regularly take my young kids in there instead of the gents. They are usually free and it's quieter in there for them.
Forward-Swimmer-8451@reddit
For kids I'd say yes.... although try to be quick lol
Intruder313@reddit
*accessible toilets
Yes
CensorTheologiae@reddit
No, absolutely not. I can't understand why you would do it in the first place.
Buddy-Matt@reddit
100% yes. A toddler is probably still in nappies. Most gents don't have changing facilities, but the disabled loo nearly always does because it's designed for this exact circumstance.
ApricotUnhappy6818@reddit
I believe the problem you’re having is giving a shit what the naysayers think.
Now if I did that people would be justified frowning seeing as my daughter is 22..
DameKumquat@reddit
I say no - take the kid with you to the Gents.
Unless the only gents around happens to be totally covered in piss, shit and guys cruising, in which case plan your outings better.
No_Concept_3477@reddit
Disagree. Why should my toddler potentially be exposed to seeing male genitalia at urinals whenever her dad takes her to the bathroom?
DameKumquat@reddit
Why shouldn't they? It's not like the men are waving their cocks around.
I suspect there's an age difference on this thread - when I was a kid being taken out mostly by my dad, there wasn't a choice. It's brilliant that there's now so many accessible toilets, but still not enough, and 'my child might see a bit of a willy like Dad has' isn't an access need.
NoFewSatan@reddit
Where will you change a nappy in there?
DameKumquat@reddit
The OP said toddler and implied we were talking about toilets. If you need a nappy changing table, go wherever that is.
brizzle9293@reddit
Yes I plan all my days out around whether or not the gents toilet may or may not be covered in shit that day.
No-Decision-6019@reddit
Or they don’t want to take their daughter, or son, into the gents where blokes are using the urinal
My daughter is 3 and I’ll use the baby change or disabled before taking her into the gents where
MrsSEM84@reddit
No it’s not.
In an ideal world there would be parent & child facilities available everywhere. And that’s something people should definitely be pushing for.
But disabled toilets are for people with disabilities, some of which can mean that having to wait will lead to an accident. And that’s much more of a humiliating ordeal for a disabled older child or adult than it is for a toddler. Especially as parents have often prepared for that eventuality and have spare clothes with them.
I can completely understand Dad’s not wanting to take their young girls into the gents, some are awful. But in my experience most women are absolutely fine with Dad’s taking their little girls into the ladies, as long as they announce themselves coming in.
It happens frequently where I live. The gents in my local shopping centre are beyond vile so Dad’s coming into the ladies is a daily occurrence. I’ve seen it more times than I count and I’ve never seen a woman object.
snavej1@reddit
Parenthood is a disability, actually. LOL
Substantial-Hotel493@reddit
Personally I would have zero issue if a man brought their daughter into the ladies toilet. Not sure how others would feel though but I hope they would be understanding.
HPSauceLovecraft@reddit
As a father of twin girls, who almost always need to go at the same time, I always take them into disables toilets when possible. There’s not much room in a gents toilet cubicle for me and two toddlers
Mysterious_Soft7916@reddit
Yes. In fact, many times they also have the changing facilities in them etc. mens toilets very rarely do.
Whole-Turnip-6938@reddit
Yes, it’s acceptable for a parent to take a toddler of any gender into the parent’s toilet. If the parent or child feels uncomfortable doing this then the disabled toilet is definitely acceptable.
Often there is no baby change in male WCs so I would 100% use the disabled toilets.
If anyone gives you grief tell them to take it up with the facilities staff, i’m sure they would back you up.
mierneuker@reddit
There's also a frustrating number of baby change rooms that have no toilet in them, that period from initial toilet training until you can trust them to go to the loo on their own is a sod as a parent of the opposite gender to the child. Mostly I take my daughter into the gents, but often the stalls are too small to fit two people in and I have to back out and find the disabled loo.
First-Lengthiness-16@reddit
I just say I am disabled and maybe do a little tell.
Shouldn’t have to but it stops arguments and placates the other person
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
So you cosplay as someone disabled!!
JobAnxious2005@reddit
Ahem, the term is badge collecting
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Is it? Thanks
First-Lengthiness-16@reddit
Isn’t cosplay that thing that nerds do? Thinking they are out of star trek and the like?
Skinnybet@reddit
We would definitely back you up. Our McDonald’s has baby changing facilities in our disabled toilets so it’s intended to be used by parents.
Visible_Pipe4716@reddit
I took my 6mo in to the disabled toilets on bank holiday Monday at a very busy tourist spot to change him. Some woman huffed at me saying ‘those are disabled toilets’ I said ‘yes they’re also a baby change’ she says ‘well are you going to change a baby?’ While I’m stood holding a baby and a happy bag 🫠
PatchcordAdams@reddit
Just to balance the thread, in case anyone worries about using one due to comments from arseholes.
I look completely physically able. But have a bag, due to ulcerative colitis. I’ve been using them for 20 odd years and have not once had a single snarky comment from anyone.
Not to undermine your unpleasant encounter. But most people are chill with it.
Outrageous-Arm1945@reddit
I often think the correct response to those sort of people is 'fuck off'
Isgortio@reddit
"No I think I'll keep this baby"
cedarvhazel@reddit
Yeah it isn’t a baby swapping station, it’s a baby changing station.
JobAnxious2005@reddit
Works best when mum it out solo parenting too if it’s busy - no toilet queue!
85morrell@reddit
Id say it's location dependant. Most men's toilets I go in usually just have one or two sit down toilet, quite regularly covered in piss, no chance I'm cleaning that up.
SeahorseQueen1985@reddit
No ones asking you to be a cleaner.
jabbo13@reddit
The point is though for their child who may have to sit, i.e. if the child is a girl or young boy they don't want to have to clean up pissy men's toilets.
If I take my daughter to the toilet there's been plenty of times where in the men's theres 2/3 cubicles and you have to make a decision about which one has the easiest clean up job cos I don't want her sitting in piss.
Have had to do this in disabled toilets as well but I'm a believer of toilets are there to be used and I'm using them as needed so I would happily use the disabled with my child.
85morrell@reddit
Absolutely bang on. Most men are absolutely vile and most restaurants, pubs, supermarkets, play centres at most will have 2 sit down toilets. I'll always go in men's first and if they are disgusting, I'll then go to the accessible.
If they are busy I'll then make a decision if my daughter can go in the womens alone, or walk back and get my wife to take her in.
Not a chance I'm cleaning up after someone else, not just because it's disgusting, but because you never know what your kid will be sitting in.
yam0msah0e@reddit
Think you missed the point
OkPea5819@reddit
And that’s just at home.
JBEqualizer@reddit
It's fairly likely that a toddler is still in nappies or pull ups, and accessible toilets tend to have a changing table.
I'm yet to see a changing table in a men's toilet.
It's not just acceptable, it's often necessary as a dad that you nedd to go into the 'disabled' toilet.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Fir women too the changing table is usually in the disabled loo
JBEqualizer@reddit
As a dad, I don't spend much time in womens toilets, so I wouldn't know. However these questions are always asking about whether it's acceptable for dads to use the one toiket with a changing table, so it seems as if mums given a pass when it comes to such things.
Some__worries@reddit
I've seen a few women's toilets that have changing tables but honestly I'd rather not change my child where anyone can see them
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
This isn't a gender thing. If you are a parent with a young kid and need to use the disabled toilet just join the mums using it.
Jumpy-Jello-@reddit
It's suitable for this scenario yes, but able-bodied people here saying they use it when there are other available toilets are being selfish. Why use a toilet with accessibility you don't need, which some people can only use, when you can use a different one that everyone can use except for those the other toilet is designed for?
Hot_Wheels264@reddit
Thank you for this. Whenever disabled people try to speak up about their accessibility needs it attracts masses of people who just want to ‘well actually’ us and take away our adaptions that we need to function. It sucks.
I’m not against families needing to use the disabled toilets. Disabled people have kids, disabled kids exist, and sometimes it’s the only space that works for an able bodied family. But the amount of able bodied people who just don’t understand our lived experience and don’t give a shit about our spaces and needs sucks.
SeahorseQueen1985@reddit
There's some selfish people on this thread.
lastnamedotfirstnam3@reddit
Absolutely! (From someone with a disabled child)
Both-Craft1220@reddit
No. As a person with a very draining physical disability, I would be annoyed if someone went in purely because it was more convenient for them, as I have no other option. Might be an unpopular opinion, but just my thoughts.
Redditreallyannoysme@reddit
Yes. It's accessible not disabled only.
Eastern_Job_4746@reddit
As a dad of three girls ima say yes
nWoScot@reddit
Its not a disabled toilet its an accessible one. Go for it
Royal_View9815@reddit
Exactly right but why do you have to have a radar key to use them?
SuzLouA@reddit
But you don’t have to have one.
If do have one, and it’s locked - which many aren’t - you can unlock it yourself.
If you don’t have one, you can ask staff to unlock it for you. It’s not a bank vault, it’s just supposed to provide an additional barrier to anyone who would misuse it (and by misuse it I do NOT mean anyone with or without a disability who needs to use it as a toilet or baby change, I mean anyone who is using it for something like shooting up; I have the utmost sympathy for addicts, theirs is not a happy lot, but nobody wants discarded needles left behind in a place where toddlers or people with mental disabilities may frequent).
Also, radar keys are available for purchase online. Anyone can get them.
Purple-Caterpillar-1@reddit
And there are plenty of cycle lanes that need a radar key, so they’re hardly the exclusive preserve of the disabled!
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Because too many people use them because it's a bit closer or they want more space. Having to get a radar key means it is more likely to only be used by those who need to use them.
BrieflyVerbose@reddit
Yes. It's disabled access, not disabled only.
Life was a lot easier for me when my son was younger when we just used the disabled toilets. Some people didn't like it, I genuinely didn't care.
Now my lad is 6, there's just no need for me be side by side with him so he doesn't use the disabled toilets anymore.
chunkycasper@reddit
Absolutely- i am disabled and this is more than acceptable
Ambitious_Agent20@reddit
Yeah and In some places I've had to take my son into the ladies because there was no changing table in the disabled or men's but with my health issues I'm classed as disabled so I'm covered if anyone ever questions me using it XD
OwlBeBack88@reddit
It's perfectly acceptable for a non-disabled person to use a disabled toilet. Accessible toilets aren't exclusively for people with disabilities, they are just designed to be easier for these people to use. It's good etiquette to give priority to a disabled person if there is a regular toilet you can use, but if you need to use it you absolutely can.
hyena_teeth@reddit
It's fine, I work in a mall and we encourage this, especially when a dad comes by looking a bit lost/uncomfortable about taking his daughter into the gents with him. I would much rather you and your kids go to the disabled access toilet (most of which include a baby change table at my workplace, so they really are intended for those with kids), because there's some absolute nasty fucking creeps in the gents sometimes.
If anyone comments or frowns tell them to shove it up their arse.
ShineAtom@reddit
It's clear from the posts we see about people being told off for using an accessible toilet that there needs to be far more than ONE accessible toilet provided in shopping centres etc. Indeed it might help to make all toilets accessible. Even more helpful would be to have more public toilets available in general as councils sell them off to be turned into taxi offices etc; in one case in London I think, even a bar. I would hope that the bar also contains a loo for customers - shouldn't be difficult after all.
MacDaddy2605@reddit
Having a toddler is like having a disability so absolutely you can use the disabled toilet
NoFewSatan@reddit
What a stupid thing to say
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Please don't say that. If you were actually disabled you would not claim having a toddler is like having a disability.
Ok-Sun-7764@reddit
Commenting as a person with mobility issues who needs the grab rail, and is unable to stand for a queue. If there’s not a parent and child toilet, I understand. Please be mindful than other people who have greater needs might need it also so don’t take ages.
Going against the grain here but the disabled toilet is absolutely not a toilet everyone can use, it is a toilet you can use according to need. This is why we have the radar key system to stop people misusing them.
pullingteeths@reddit
Yeah I'm not sure why people are acting like saying if you are not disabled and don't need to use a disabled toilet is the same as saying people with invisible disabilities can't use them?! Because they've been renamed accessible doesn't change what they're for. The considerate thing to do is only use it if you need to and have consideration for disabled people who truly have no other option
Ok-Sun-7764@reddit
Truly 2026’s Rosa Parks.
Ok-Sun-7764@reddit
You taking a shit in the disabled toilet for no reason is going to make it easier for me to use a toilet I’m entitled to use or someone won’t have a go at me?
Making it harder for people like me to access the facilities I need so there’s a mild chance some old wanker isn’t an old wanker?
Ive had someone give me shit using a blue badge bay before they saw my crutches and I’m not demanding people park there to normalise it.
Scary-Caramel-8679@reddit
Thank you oh my god. Reading these comments as someone with a disability who will be in debilitating seeing-stars agony holding in a shit is a little worrying. I understand completely that people may need an accessible cubicle for reasons outside of disability. That said do not turn this into a free for all ,it's a toilet with extra doodads argument! If you couldve used any cubicle, and are in the only accessible, hurry the fuck up!
Ok-Sun-7764@reddit
Every time disability is brought up on Reddit there’s a lot of commenters and advocates who have no idea what it’s like.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Yeah it is. Someone on this thread for example literally said having a toddler is like being disabled
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Yes agreed. It's why radar keys were introduced. Although anyone can get a radar key, it stops the people nipping in because it's easier and quicker.
RHMoaner@reddit
Seeing as most men’s toilets don’t have changing facilities, where the fuck am I meant to take him? Lie him on the floor? Storm into the ladies room? KFC counter? Disabled toilets are generally the only choice on mum free days out.
Krakosa@reddit
Yes, the accessible toilets are for everyone. Out of common courtesy people who specifically need accessible facilities should be given priority if there is a queue but other than this they are for everyone to use.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
But people don't.
Emergency_Stick3963@reddit
How do you know you're more desperate to go than the others in queue?
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
I am not arguing that. People are saying everyone let's a wheelchair user go first anyway and I am simply saying they don't.
Chemical-Lettuce2497@reddit
Honestly who really gives a fuck? Do what you need to do for your family bud
abracablab@reddit
I try to use them where possible as a woman with a 10 year old son. He knows how disgusting mens toilets can be and neither of us is comfortable letting him go in there on his own anyway. But taking him into the ladies is starting to feel awkward as he's bordering on being a teenage male at this point. Accessible toilets should be for anyone with needs outside of typical, signal occupancy use. Unfortunately they're often sealed off from us since we don't have a radar key.
Tequila-Tarn@reddit
I was at an airport in France and they had separate parent and child toilets.
Efficient_Hyena_7476@reddit
Disabled toilet = suitable for all, including disabled people.
SeahorseQueen1985@reddit
But with priority for disability people otherwise it wouldn't be labelled disabled toilet.
Emergency_Stick3963@reddit
Its not a priority toilet, its an accessible toilet.
PotatoCrumbz@reddit
Yes. I (F) often my 2 year old son into the disabled toilet rather than the ladies because trying to manoeuvre in a small cubicle whilst wearing a backpack can be difficult. The sinks also tend to be lower so he can wash his hands rather than me trying to balance him on my knee whilst standing on one leg to lift him to the sinks.
SharkByte1993@reddit
Fortunately more and more shopping centres and similar places have family toilets, rather than just accessible toilets
Upbeat_Branch_4231@reddit
And those are great. As an older parent the old "mother and child" facilities annoyed the heck out of me, a dad out with a young child. And try taking a little girl into a gents.....Its just not fair on her and the fellas waving their dongles about.
Amylou789@reddit
Yes, me too as a woman.
MayIJustAsk@reddit
Oh wow this is something I hadn’t thought of.
I’ve recently got into a relationship with a woman who has a toddler - inevitably the day will come where I need to take her to the loo as uncomfortable as that might make me…
Very helpful to know this tho! Men’s loos are gross!!
Available-Nose-5666@reddit
Firstly, not all disabilities are visible, so shame on people for giving frowns.
Secondly, if your child is a female it would make sense to take her to the disabled toilets, regardless of your child’s gender you took them to the disabled toilet as there’s more room, other people can’t look.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Firstly nobody, I mean nobody thinks all disabilities are visible. Secondly it is not some invisible dividing line. That person with a stick using the disabled toilet may not have to use it because they use the stick, but because of an invisible disability
Available-Nose-5666@reddit
Some people do unfortunately. My friend uses the disabled toilet because he needs to empty his stoma bag. The amount of people who have given him stern looks due to it.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Yes but nobody on this thread is saying that. Tbh ime Reddit is all on invisible disabilities and down on visible disabilities
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
If you are going to use an accessible toilet with children please don't, 1. Tie up the cord so your child can't reach it. A disabled person may need to use the cord and you tying it up so your child can't reach means some disabled people can't reach it. 2. Move the nappy bin to a more convenient place. This can mean Someone using a wheelchair can't navigate to use the toilet and has to stop a stranger passing by to ask them to move the bin. Someone using a wheelchair who can't just walk to the toilet needs way more space than most people realise to turn and navigate to the toilet so they can transfer.
Yes these are not uncommon situations.
Mr-RS182@reddit
Yes because the disabled toilet usually also has the baby changing in etc
JosephStalinho@reddit
How are you this stupid?
Opening_Succotash_95@reddit
A lot of the problems here are because there's kind of a lack of standardisation of the different types of toilet.
I support a guy who needs to use the accessible/disabled toilets. He also wears incontinence pads. Most disabled toilets provide the proper bins to dispose of these but I was in m+s with him and they didn't. I had to take him into the baby change suite. Which not only drew confused and dirty looks from passers by , but doesn't have a toilet for him to use, making it all more complicated.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
When I used the m and s toilet I just wrapped my paid in toilet paper and put it in the ordinary bin.
DevilsAdvocate1662@reddit
When my kid needs the toilet, honestly, I don't care which toilet they use. Better that than having to clean up a mess on the floor or them having wet trousers
SeahorseQueen1985@reddit
Selfish attitude. All that matters is YOU.
DevilsAdvocate1662@reddit
Not selfish at all mate, nobody wants to clean up piss, or sit in wet trousers
Capital-Doughnut-390@reddit
Took my 7 year old daughter to the Liverpool match recently for the first time.
Never considered how horrible the men’s toilet in the match are before. Luckily LFC do cater for this and have toilets separate for this scenario, not sure if every other club do?
Opening_Succotash_95@reddit
Celtic Park has a toilet which has a full size adult changing bed and hoist for wheelchair users. It's brilliant but obviously uses a lot of space so you don't see them very often
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
Changing places toilets. A lot of people who need a hoist to change incontinence wear can not leave home for long periods because these toilets are rare.
Liverpool_Stu@reddit
As a person who needs to use the disabled toilets, and as someone who was a single dad, sometimes it's the best and only option. If there are baby changing facilities, then they would be a better option. But otherwise I would use them. Anyone who has a problem with a parent using them for a baby needs a good dose of empathy!
Salt-Ad3495@reddit
Absolutely!
lindsaychild@reddit
When I had twins in a buggy, I had no other choice in our town but to use the accessible toilets, my buggy wouldn't fit in the ladies or the changing room. There wasn't always someone in the centre office to get a key so I bought a radar key and made sure to knock.
ferryboi18@reddit
Yes that’s fine to do that.
SeahorseQueen1985@reddit
What is wrong with you taking your daughter into the female toilets? If youve got a kid, youre allowed in the toilets. Solves all the issues you had today.
Tonybham01@reddit
Is that a serious question?
Of course it is. In the same way, it’s okay to take his baby into the nappy changing area.
ClickDisastrous2142@reddit
Its called an 'accessible toilet'. Not disabled. Yes, if that's where the baby/ toddler change is, or if there is no toilet facilities in the baby change and you need to use the loo.
Professional-Test239@reddit
Totally acceptable. Fuck em.
Even if you didn't have toddler. Not all disabilities are visible.
underwater-sunlight@reddit
I have done it plenty of times with my daughter when she was too young to go into the ladies alone and there wasnt a family room, especially if I needed to go as well and didnt want us to miss each other coming out
haggis_catcher-@reddit
Yes. Anyone can use them , but whos to say you arent disabled not all disabilities are visible.
11Kram@reddit
Invisible disabilities are a problem, as are increasing numbers of parking spaces labelled as Special Needs. Both of these mean that abuse of disabled spaces cannot be effectively monitored. I have motor neuron disease and can barely walk with a rollator. I regularly see -apparently healthy- people using disabled spaces. Of course many of them are genuinely disabled. Recently I saw someone running after parking their car in a disabled space. Friends have told me about their relatives who abuse disabled spaces because they have someone disabled at home or they never gave back their blue card after a disabled relative died. More disabled spaces are needed but a row of them seems to encourage abuse.
AerienaFairweather@reddit
Yes. I have two young children and I will use the easiest accessible toilet when I’m out and about on my own with them. There’s no way I can go otherwise!
VMS_UK@reddit
Yes, i do the same fuck what anyone else thinks
Familiar-Woodpecker5@reddit
Yes. Do what you need to who cares if it’s acceptable.
Tricepesaurus@reddit
It’s fine to use disabled toilets and anyone that says otherwise is an absolute moron. They are supported and suitable for disabled people, not solely for them.
LillyAtts@reddit
Yes. They're disabled accessible, not disabled only.
CharlemagneKidding@reddit
I always use the disabled toilet because I have dis ability to take a wickedly long shit and the extra space and privacy is ace.
casusbelli16@reddit
Its extra access nor exclusive access, also some will have their changing tables in their too.
apple_kicks@reddit
Men’s bathroom don’t have facilities for parents that women’s or disabled bathroom have especially for infants. Plus disabled has more space.
Player_Panda@reddit
Not a parent but I wouldn't want to take my daughter into the gents and use the baby table in there. It's right out in the open and any bloke could sneak a peek while they go past. Use the disabled as even babies deserve privacy.
Pigflap_Batterbox@reddit
It’s not a disabled toilet / it’s as assisted toilet! I don’t have a disability, but I do need an assisted toilet due to a nerve issue ; I need the extra arm-lever thing that they put in the toilets to raise and lower myself when using the loo. Also I can’t urinate standing up due the issue so sitting down it is!
I have had the occasional ‘you don’t look disabled’ thing where I’ve then gone into details about how if I urinate standing up that I will piss all over myself due to the nerve damage and do they want a demo. Usually helps all but the most demented flee!
For radar key access I applied via the council and do get one - although apparently you can just buy them online.
RunInRunOn@reddit
Disabled bathrooms are for the disabled like the priority seat on the train, not like disabled parking spots
Next-Suit-9579@reddit
I’m a mum and had to use the disabled toilets when my son needed the loo in some places. There isn’t enough room for an adult and a toddler in some cubicles, especially if you’re having to kneel down to help with pulling up undies. I have a dodgy knee that likes to pop out if I bend it wrong, after that happened three times I started using the disabled toilet/cubicle.
Raisinsandfairywings@reddit
Yes absolutely.
noname2808559@reddit
Accessibilie toilets? Of course!
I_ALWAYS_UPVOTE_CATS@reddit
It's even acceptable if you're just by yourself and enjoy the extra space - it's disabled accessible not disabled exclusive. Obviously if you were in a queue in front of some genuinely disabled people then it might be more of a dick move, but the point stands.
The trope about having to feign a limp as you walk out is just a thing used in sitcoms.
Extra-Sound-1714@reddit
No it's not, use the toilet you can easily use.
Momotaro6@reddit
Yes. Next question.
fuckedsince1991@reddit
Yeah 100% and when people frown just smile n wave boys smile n wave
Skinnybet@reddit
I work in McDonald’s and yes this is something I see daily. It’s very acceptable. Carry on doing it.
jimmyuk@reddit
Its disabled accessible not disabled exclusive.
Isgortio@reddit
Yes that's fine. There's more room in there and sometimes the change table is in there too.
I've had people give me funny looks just for using a normal toilet because they wanted to go in and I got in there before them. People are impatient sometimes.
DiscoDoberman@reddit
I guarantee none of the people making faces are disabled.
How do they know you/your kid are not disabled?
Disabled toilets give priority for disabled people or people who need extra space or special conditions, whatever that is.
AonghusMacKilkenny@reddit
Invisible disabilities are a thing. It's a disgrace that anyone would fcast judgement at someone using the disabled toilet, especially with their toddler.
Low_Border_2231@reddit
Taking kids to use the gents is gross. 100% use the accessible toilet no problem.
BedGirl5444@reddit
Disabled toilets are for everyone
Zaxa7@reddit
Yep, you're alright.
SnooHamsters5480@reddit
Always take my daughter in to the disabled if it's available.
QwanNyu@reddit
Take my boy in them. So much more room and cleaner than the shit/piss covered toilet seats.
Maester_Bates@reddit
Yes, everyone is free to use those toilets for whatever reason they need. They are accessible toilets, not exclusive.
Foxtrot7888@reddit
Yes, I think it’s fine. It’s our toilet if choice if I’m out with my daughter - she is very sensitive to sudden loud noises and doesn’t like the sound of hand dryers.
Known-Grapefruit4032@reddit
The term is accessible toilet. It's for anyone that has an access need that precludes them from using the ladies or gents. In your case you have a toddler, it's completely valid to use the accessible toilet. It's hard squeezing in a cubicle with a toddler and you probably don't want her around men with their penises out at the urinals. Totally fine.
Several-Support2201@reddit
Honestly, I don't see a problem. I'm a mom and take my youngest to the ladies with me but it's such a squeeze and if I had a bigger build I wouldn't bother. Public loos are generally well designed for parents with young kids, I think.
kartoonkai@reddit
Yes there are often changing stations in them for parents. It's very hard to redress a toddler who has flooded through nappy and clothing in standard cubicles.
Humble_Molasses9711@reddit
TBH, a solo father with any child under any circumstances gets the side-eye these days.
290Richy@reddit
People don't mind you using their pisser but takes their parking spots and they'll be performing voodoos on you for the next 6 months.
WheresWalldough@reddit
because that has some legal teeth, at least on-street.
crashgoggz@reddit
When my kiddo was small I used it at the supermarket, no other toilet I could get into to use myself and keep her in the trolley seat.
The baby changing rooms didn't have actual toilets.
pielad@reddit
Got a few frowns??
Sufficient-Olive-815@reddit
we live in a society
No-Door-3181@reddit
Those are the only toilets I see that have a changing table so yes. Until it’s common for those to be installed in the man’s toilets why not.
JeffSergeant@reddit
100% they're accessible for people who need the extra space; you need the extra space.
crispycat40@reddit
If I have both of my children with me, I will use the disabled toilet because we can’t all fit inside a normal cubicle and I’m not leaving a child out in the communal space alone.
ChocolateSnowflake@reddit
Of course.
They are accessible toilets.
Squeezing into a regular stall with a small child who still needs help is a battle I’m not willing to do.
Qwertyuiop4325@reddit
Yeah, my son is still in nappies and when I change him, more often than not, the changing stations are in the women's toilets rather than dedicated changing rooms, so I end up changing him in the disabled toilets.
If someone is going to kick off then they probably don't have much going on in their life.
DrWkk@reddit
If there isn’t a dedicated changing/parent child room then yes absolutely.
NoEnthusiasm2@reddit
A lot of those don't actually have a loo in though. Sometimes it's just a room with a change mat and a chair.
turquoisesilver@reddit
I was queuing for a disabled toilet last year because it was labelled as a child changing area too. It confused everyone that walked past as the ladies and gents had no queue.
Alert_Cap_2931@reddit
The disabled one has baby changing facilities it's more appropriate than either male of female
tiorzol@reddit
Yes. Literally don't worry about this kind of thing mate.
Alert_Ad_5750@reddit
If you’ve got a bay or toddler, absolutely go ahead. They are designed to be accessible for those who need it and certainly having a small child constitutes that. I have two toddlers born 11 months apart and since my youngest was a baby, if we need to go to the toilet then we use the disabled one as it has adequate space for us in there and I can change nappies in private more comfortably.
If anyone gives you some dirty look then ask them what their problem is. You’re doing nothing wrong. Especially as you’re a man with a little girl, taking her to the disabled ones instead of the men’s room makes more sense.
Thoughtful_giant13@reddit
Of course it is
SceneDifferent1041@reddit
Yes. I wouldnt kick a wheelchair user out the way to use it but the extra space helps.l with young kids
sarahlovesjourney@reddit
Either you or your child could have a hidden disability. Ignore ignorant people, as difficult as that is.
Sandy_Bananas@reddit
I have done and would do again. Invariably, they stink of piss less than the gents.
Ornery-Air3250@reddit
Yes, firstly in (at least in the UK) a lot of gents toilets do not have changing facilities.
Cubicles are very small.
It's not being lazy and entitled like using them as an able bodied man on his own, there is a genuine reason why you're taking that option.
In fact in the UK a lot of pubs have changing facilities in the disabled toilet for women to use as well.
Potential-Question-4@reddit
I do this with my daughter, when you are alone with an opposite sex child it can be difficult.
Restaurant staff have advised me to in the past, so staff are OK with it. If anyone else has a problem they can mind their own business. It isn't their job to decide who can use a toilet.
Pizzaheadeddead@reddit
Just walk out with a limp lol
DontBullyMyBread@reddit
If there's a suitable alternative (like separate babychange) then use that, is there isn't then disabled is totally fine. Just dont be that weirdo dad I encountered the other day who kept asking loudly how much longer I was going to be in the disabled toilet as his kid needed a wee. Like sorry my kid no2 did a massive poonami all over herself and kid no1 decided she also needed to take a shit right after I'd changed kid no2, I'm doing it as fast as I can on my own 😂
Sea_Kangaroo826@reddit
Yes. I often have to take my baby into the disabled toilet even when the baby change is a separate room because there isn't a toilet in there. Sometimes when they design the baby change room they forget that parents of babies also need to take a piss sometimes. If there is no toilet in the baby change, and there is no room for the pram in the regular stalls, I literally can't go anywhere else except the disabled toilet.
Sea_Kangaroo826@reddit
But to be clear I think it's fine for anyone to use it when they need to even without a pram lol
Overthinker-dreamer@reddit
Yes I say it's very acceptable. Ignore judgemental people.
ThrustersToFull@reddit
Yes. People need to start minding their business.
Ok-Sir-4822@reddit
Sometimes I use the disable toilets when I go in with my kid simply because it’s a really tight squeeze with a kid and an adult in the regular ones (I’m a woman)
Missing-Caffeine@reddit
I used to need the disable toilet most of the times when I had the pram with me and they only had a "changing room" without a toilet. What else do they expect us to do, pee with the door open or close and leave my baby alone? 🙂↔️
MissKatbow@reddit
This is why accessible toilets is better wording. They are accessible for all. It’s a lot easier having more space with a toddler than cramming in a stall. Not to mention a lot of the times this is the only place there is a baby change, which although not necessary for a toddler, implies it’s family friendly too.
blumizers@reddit
Yes, absolutely
Suspicious-Water-973@reddit
Yes, especially if we are about to have a code brown.
KookyEntertainment88@reddit
Yes, particularly if your kid is a girl
corkireland99@reddit
Yes- absolutely
AutoModerator@reddit
Please help keep AskUK welcoming!
When replying to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc. If a post is marked 'Serious Answers Only' you may receive a ban for violating this rule.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!
Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.