Stuck in between two worlds
Posted by AngryInLipgloss@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 44 comments
I’m a doctor who moved to the UK three years ago. I gave up a lot and spent some of the best years of my life trying to build something new here. I really thought it would be hard, but I never imagined it would be this difficult to find work as a doctor.
Now I feel trapped. Going back isn’t really an option, but moving forward here feels impossible. I miss who I used to be. I miss feeling useful, being part of a team, having colleagues, having a place in society. I miss myself.
Sometimes I wish I had just been born here, like it would have made everything easier.
Anyway…I just needed to get this off my chest. Wish me luck. I think I deserve a bit of luck.
IndependentCause9435@reddit
There is no shame in going home.
Honestly the UK is a failing nation, living standards are dropping, public services are a mess, one of the worst costs of living in the world and investment is leaving the country as all the government seems to be able to come up with in terms of policy is "hey more taxes"
I'm in Finance (Trading) and constantly get hit up by recruiters offering jobs in London and I pass every time. It's just not a good country to build a life.
Naive-Sir-8667@reddit
100 percent correct, UK is not what it used to be . Came here 26 years ago - Was Young Ambitious, Hungry , over time things have changed so much - kinda Scary if i loose my job now - Even working in Tescos or similar will be a hurdle.
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
It’s not about shame at all. Going back just isn’t a real solution for me. The economic situation in my home country is actually worse, so it wouldn’t bring any relief, and there are also social challenges there that affect me as a woman.
On top of that, I’ve already gone through years of exams and a very complicated process to get registered to work as a doctor here. It took a lot of time and effort to get to this point. My husband also has a great job here, so our life is built around being in the UK.
And honestly, I do love the UK. The people are kind, the culture is amazing, and the nature is beautiful. That’s why I’m trying to make it work here, even if it’s been really tough.
Able-Impression7567@reddit
Can I ask where you’re from?
Puzzleheaded_Gain493@reddit
It’s ok to come and vent , people are facing difficulty economically all over, but look at these things with relativity. Don’t be frustrated about maybe uk not being as economically fruitful for somebody as it once was, but it will be back. It’s a stable country , and although some aspects may be better in a few other countries , the bad things are 10x worse, even in these ‘profit centres’ in other parts of world, they still have structural faults
Puzzleheaded_Gain493@reddit
It’s all good talking about the negatives , but I’m not hearing of mass exoduses to anywhere better?? Most countries don’t work for most people which is why UK is still one of the best
I think what people lose sight of as well is perspective. The whole world is suffering from these problems it’s not a UK specific problem
IndependentCause9435@reddit
Cost of living is an issue in a lot of Western countries but it is significantly worse in the UK, I mean 30Y yields are at 20 year highs.
By the turn of the decade I will be putting the UK in the developing country pile, the government has no options left - Austerity and higher taxes.
Zealousideal_Rub6758@reddit
It’s not worse tbh. Houses in northern England are so so cheap compared to where I live.
IndependentCause9435@reddit
Northern England is not really the profit centre of the UK.
Zealousideal_Rub6758@reddit
No but most countries when they talk about a housing crisis (eg Canada, Australia etc), it’s because it’s everywhere, not just one city.
Wonderful-Blueberry@reddit
Literally. Canada here. Buying a home in a shitty subdivision or in the middle of nowhere is not that much cheaper than buying a home in Toronto.
Puzzleheaded_Gain493@reddit
Tells you everything about this guy, you just want to be stupidly rich and can’t fathom why you can’t be, so blaming it on the economic situation
IndependentCause9435@reddit
I'm doing quite well for my age especially here in Australia, what I'm referring to is that Northern England is not what people consider the profit centre of the UK. Most people that are expats in the UK are working in London.
Puzzleheaded_Gain493@reddit
So why are you giving opinions about the uk then to someone asking for advice about it who happens to be in the uk 😅
I think you missed the point about north of England , housing will still be affordable even relative to lower wages than London
And yes Aus will work better financially in certain sectors but usually trades not finance work , you’ll see Aussies trade Australia for the uk for that
Puzzleheaded_Gain493@reddit
So what are you going to do about it?? Just come on here complain and spread negativity, is that your solution. If you were in the same boat as OP you wouldn’t be looking to go to a worse place so why you advising him to do something you’re never do 🤦♂️
hermesandhemingway@reddit
Reminds me of a great interview with Jimmy Carr. In short, he said we’re so blessed with so many great things that people didn’t have only 70+ years ago. Even standing in a hot shower is such a luxurious blessing that previous generations couldn’t even fathom. I once read someone say they take stock of the little things in their life when they open their spice cupboard as it reminds them this would’ve been everything royalty would’ve prayed for thousands of years ago. TL;DR: it’s easy to lose sight of perspective and like you said, the world over has the same problems but trying to find little positives where we can helps us keep going and cultivate a better kinder world.
Editing to add sorry for the tangent. 😅
Puzzleheaded_Gain493@reddit
The problem is , and its common with people who spend a lot of time online so they become detached from reality anyway, is for a good amount of time especially in the modern era people have become accustomed to comforts without much hassle, and affordability for luxuries had never been more in reach
Now that there’s a squeeze and a lot of the structural faults that capitalist economies are experiencing after multiple global events, the people in the middle who benefited most from good jobs with accessible luxuries now feel as those aren’t as in reach and they have to scale down potentially in terms of lifestyle, they are now miserable or inducing themselves into misery due to seeing a few people at the top who seem to be insulated from these events
It’s all about perspective at end of the day you’re right , but then again I’m sure someone will turn around and accuse you of being ‘rich’ so you won’t understand will you lol
Wonderful-Blueberry@reddit
A lot of countries are going through the exact same problems. This isn’t unique to the UK unfortunately.
kal_0008@reddit
I have similar story but to the US. We've all been there. Being in this field in and itself is a great sacrifice of health and happiness. Unless you're doing something to abuse the system and becoming multi millionaire!
I accepted the fact, work part time now. Focus on mental health. Picked up new slower sub specialty. Help people, enjoy and meditate every day.
Money tight, not saving right now. But... Can't be happier.
Good luck
Able-Impression7567@reddit
I’m curious though because I’m a doctor too. But if you could go back to being 18, what would you have chosen?
kal_0008@reddit
I’d definitely do tech work if I were to go back in time
Able-Impression7567@reddit
By tech work, would you learn computer science?
kal_0008@reddit
Have already been writing code since age 15. But as usual family in less developed world you’re pushed into medicine no matter what other skills you have!
Able-Impression7567@reddit
Is there a reason why you wanted to do tech work specifically, because it’s an area that I’m actively trying to get into as well, how about a bit of connection? Maybe we can cofound something
kal_0008@reddit
DM'd you
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
I agree with you. That’s actually why I’ve let go of aiming for senior or training positions for now. I’ve been applying for more junior roles with much lower pay, even though I have seven years of postgrad experience.
At this point, I’m just trying to get my foot in the door and rebuild from there. But honestly, it feels like no matter how much I lower my expectations, the job market is just incredibly tough right now.
Really glad you’ve found a way to make it work for you though. That balance sounds worth it.
Halo_of_Light@reddit
NAD, but do your qualifications as a doctor in the UK have any reciprocity in the other commonwealth nations like Aus, NZ, or Canada? Would you try those countries if you could? I believe there is a medical professionals shortage in NZ and CA for certain types of doctors (could be obsolete data, don't come for me reddit.😭😂)
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
That’s a really good question. There isn’t full reciprocity unfortunately, each country still has its own process. Australia and New Zealand are a bit more flexible with UK experience, but it’s still not a simple move. Canada is even more complicated from what I’ve seen.
So it is possible, but it would basically mean going through another long process and starting over again. After everything it took to get registered here, I’m just trying to make it work in the UK for now.
Halo_of_Light@reddit
You're making this a "Its either the UK or I'm miserably poor in my home country!" when there is always a third option.
I feel you, but putting off long term gains for short term hassle could prove to be not as rewarding as you hope.
In times like these we need to be fluid and flexible and if the type of doctor you are isn't in demand in the UK, then going to a country where there is demand is never unwise.
If you want to stick it out in the UK, then that's your choice, but you're disempowering yourself by not considering the other commonwealth countries, or pivoting career in the UK.
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. My husband has secured his dream job here, and we’re already halfway through the citizenship process, so relocating would reset all of that.
There’s also no guarantee that by the time I go through another registration process elsewhere, the job market won’t end up in a similar situation, like what’s happened in the UK, Germany, and other places.
So it’s not about laziness or being stuck mentally. It’s just a complicated situation with a lot of moving parts.
Halo_of_Light@reddit
I never said you were lazy, and if you mentioned your husband, I missed that. I'm confused because if he found his dream job in the UK, why even mention your home country?
I know how complicated it is, but that doesn't mean there aren't other options you haven't considered.
My original point still stands, you have to stay flexible, and empower yourself. There are never just "two paths" in life.
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
You’re right, I probably didn’t explain it clearly.
It’s not really about only having two paths, it’s more that each option has a lot of real consequences attached to it. My home country isn’t a realistic option for me long term for personal and professional reasons, even if it sounds like an alternative on paper.
And I am trying to stay flexible. That’s actually why I’ve been exploring different routes and adjusting expectations quite a lot over the past few years. I’m not closed off to options, it’s just that most of them come with their own trade offs rather than being clear solutions.
I do agree with your point though that it’s important to stay open minded.
Halo_of_Light@reddit
Unfortunately there is no such thing as a choice with no negative consequences. When you're lost in the forest at some point you just gotta pick a direction and start walking.
No matter what you do, you will struggle. Empower yourself with as much information and opportunities as you can so you can choose your struggle, and go at it with as much confidence as you can muster.
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
Revise: unfortunately its not that simple. My husband secured his dream job here, our citizenship years is on the middle of way and relocating resets it. And no guarantee that job market wont end up like now in uk at the time i finish my reg process, just like what happened to the uk, germany, etc. So this situation is not out of laziness or mental trap, its just a bit twisted.
Beautiful-Bar799@reddit
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope it gets better. Expats are always going to be at a certain disadvantage when it comes to integrating into a new country.
There is a reason that many highly educated immigrants work “menial” jobs in their new countries.
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
Thank you, I really appreciate that. And yes, I think integration is definitely part of the challenge. I’m just trying to stay hopeful and keep moving forward step by step.
Objective-Average387@reddit
I totally understand you! I left a good corporate job in America to go to Africa and built an organization that was sustaining me. Now, I'm back in America and the corporate world is treating me as if I left for 10 years instead of just 3.
I'm blessed to get an interview for jobs that pay less than half of my top salary. I'm continuing to work on my organization and my writing because it gives me meaning and has real value; it cancels out the devaluing of the corporate world.
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
That really resonates with me. It’s strange how easily people can overlook everything you did in between. I’m glad you’ve found something meaningful alongside it though, that sounds really important. Wishing you the best with it.
Excellent-Local-9153@reddit
I'm afraid the job market in UK for most careers is really difficult right now as it is. I have friends who have completed years of studying in certain professions and still really struggling to find employment related to that field.
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
Yeah, I’ve heard the same from others too. It really does feel tough across the board right now, not just in medicine. Makes it a bit more reassuring knowing it’s not only my situation.
Artichoke-Rhinoceros@reddit
I’m unfamiliar with UK, but are there other opportunities for you to use your degree? Medical consulting to pharmacies or other companies? Concierge care or other private practice opportunities? You don’t say what country you’re from, but what about telehealth?
I know none of these may be ideal, but I can’t imagine going through all you did to become a physician and not being able to use it. I’m sorry this is negatively impacting you.
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
Thanks, I really appreciate the ideas. I’ve looked into a few of these, especially telehealth and private work. Some options are possible, but most still need UK experience or are quite limited when you’re newly GMC registered. I’m definitely keeping an open mind though.
Kiwiatx@reddit
This sounds like a classic third world Doctor/Surgeon/Engineer/Other trained Professional story who moved to a first world country and was forced to work in manual labor because their qualifications weren’t recognised.
AngryInLipgloss@reddit (OP)
It’s actually not really about my qualifications being recognised. I have full GMC registration with a licence to practise, so that part is sorted.
The main issue is more the job market structure. For F1 level roles I’m usually considered overqualified, but for more senior roles I’m competing with doctors who already have NHS experience, references, and established networks here.
So it’s less about recognition of qualifications and more about experience, timing, and how competitive the system is at the moment.