ULPT Request- Anonymous Revenge

Posted by chiagoldfish@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 29 comments

Okay. I’m going to keep this brief. My best friend’s ex is getting married next week. He is an absolute shit of a man, a manipulative, abusive asshole that strung her along for years with his manipulative tactics using her as his personal ATM and distancing her from all her support while she was dealing with some serious health issues. Just classic manipulative narcissistic behavior but with a side of the sort of abuse I can’t even talk about here.

He finally drained her dry to the point she tried to take her own life because she thought there was no way out. Then while she was in the hospital he spoke to her on the phone told her that she should have succeeded then got drunk and got her car impounded, which she then couldn’t get out because she was in the hospital for over a week. She’s still paying that off.

Anyway, I would love to send him a gift but don’t want it to blow back on us at all, he has no way to contact my friend and doesn’t know where she is and wouldn’t likely think it was from me. Is there a way to send something completely anonymous? Plus points if it’s something awkward for the hyper religious group he’s joined, including his wife to be who I’m sure has no idea what an absolute monster she’s marrying. I really feel for her.

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virtualchoirboy@reddit

Strippergram to the ceremony, especially if they can start out in wait staff costume.

sitheandroid@reddit

Take out the identifying details from the first 2 paragraphs of your post, then print it out and post it to the bride/wedding guests/church group. Write it on a card and have it delivered to the wedding venue with a cheap bunch of flowers. Call the venue and cancel. Turn up at the venue and hit the fire alarm (or pay someone to).

But all things aside, it really seems like the bride-to-be needs to hear this stuff about him, if it can save her from the same treatment. That should be your priority, it might not stop the wedding, but it'll sow enough seeds of doubt that she can start looking for the warning signs.

HardCoreNorthShore@reddit

Calling the venue to cancel is brilliant. I wonder if they have safeguards to prevent that type of thing happening?

Ok_Knee1216@reddit

Usually they have passwords.

stabbingrabbit@reddit

Butter plug as a wedding gift

vanchica@reddit

https://poopsenders.com/

This is the only right answer.

Safe-Savings-6612@reddit

That’s the one!!

A_S_Levin@reddit

HAHAHA NO WAY

You can anonymously send different kinds of animal poop. Give it a google.

effervescenthoopla@reddit

Photoshop positive std tests and mail them in a giant congratulations card

New_Day_Rising@reddit

Dirty! I like it.

CDA_CPA@reddit

Filled with glitter.

Gusenica_koja_pushi@reddit

Isn't there some site (possibly on dark web) that mails animal shit? Try that

https://poopsenders.com I just learned about this today.

Dry-Supermarket5361@reddit

I named an old neighbor in a child support case. The fallout was great. Smiling now just thinking about it

WHAT?! Say more!!!!

I worked for child support back in the day where they had forms readily available for anyone to grab. Yes, I'm old but do enjoy payback.

You should also be able to download a form or two online

SleepyCupcakeDreams@reddit

Please tell us more!!!

FormidableMistress@reddit

Order this and have it delivered at the wedding. They'll take the presents home and have no idea who it came from. If the open the presents in front of guests even better. "Super religious," so be sure to send the milk chocolate one.

https://dicksbymail.com/collections/dicks/products/eat-a-dick-giant-chocolate-dick

scubahana@reddit

Send one of those endless noise/confetti cards and address ‘to the happy couple’ or something so it looks like a wedding gift. Hopefully it gets opened at the reception and he gets confetti on him. To add to the hyper religious angle, see if you can find d one that moans or something.

Standard_Review_4775@reddit

There’s some place that sends a box of glitter anonymously

coopunitsmooth@reddit

Exploding d^ck glitter. I've done it more than once.

TheWonderWomanLady@reddit

Him not knowing what she’s doing and not having any answers is enough reason for a narcissist to go insane. Don’t worry about his life and what he’s doing because every bridge they have, they burn. Karma is his chaotic existence and all that he does is in vain. Even when he seems on top, karma eventually makes it collapse. Eventually he will be old and tired and alone, and if he’s not alone, he will be surrounded by people who care for him but hate him and ignore him. He’ll be in an isolated place filled with people. Or homeless. And if not all those things, he’s already living in hell dodging his “stained name” and burnt bridges. But if you really want to be weird send him something technically harmless and legal like a disgusting gift. Just bear in mind it deletes any of your good karma coming your way.

bionicallyironic@reddit

Send or drop off a congratulations card. On the inside, make it sound like it was written by a former lover of the groom (drop some penis details so they know it’s someone who knew him). Get raunchy: “Remember that night we got horny at the opera and you fucked me in our viewing box? I was certain the people in the next box over could see us but that didn’t stop you!” Or gross: “I’m so glad you’ve found a woman who loves you for who you are and doesn’t mind washing the skid marks out of your tighty whities.” Or pretend the letter writer is fine with cheating and shit on their religion at the same time: “I want you to know that the door (front or back) is open for you any time. What was that you used to say all the time? ‘Monogamy is for the smooth-brained idiots, everyone knows human males need variety.’”