My parents are SO deaf
Posted by inabighat@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 63 comments
Due to my recently initiated divorce (which is not the point of this post) I've had to move back in with my parents. They are *so fucking deaf* I cannot believe it. Dad (82) is in the basement watching poker on his computer. Mom (77) is in the other room watching TV. I can ***clearly*** hear what each of them is watching. Meanwhile I'm trying to get the kids wound down before bed.
This new life certainly is novel.
grantnaps@reddit
Is this a humble brag? Do you also have 20/20 vision? I started wearing hearing aids a few years ago and my eyesight took a dump when I hit 40.
happyinspo@reddit
Im in the exact situation. Got my dad some hearing aides but won't use them.
Possible-Tangelo9344@reddit
My wife, who actually has a moderate-to-severe hearing loss and needs captions and reads lips, thinks her parents keep their TV too loud.
inabighat@reddit (OP)
Thank you for validating me :D
orange728@reddit
Have they been checked for too much ear wax? A lot of older folks won't go to the doctor as often as they should and it is a common problem.
Guilty_Being_8333@reddit
Get them a pair like this https://ebay.us/m/jnETsN
United_Positive8322@reddit
You moved into your elderly parents home with your kids? Be grateful and get yourself and the kids headphones. Your parents are wonderful to welcome you all in their home.
TrustAffectionate966@reddit
I was thinking the same thing.
Use earplugs, OP.
inabighat@reddit (OP)
Oh my goodness yes they are!
psychowolf26@reddit
Can you purchase Bluetooth headphones for each of them?
PMmeHappyStraponPics@reddit
Alt take:
Roll up in an obvious huff taking about how fucking loud it is and turn it down right in front of them, same as they did when he was a kid.
jbp84@reddit
Last summer My 17 yo son would yell at me to quit playing guitar so late because he had to get up early for work.
Times are weird, man
PMmeHappyStraponPics@reddit
Lol, during the pandemic my 13 year old told me it was a school night so I needed to stop playing video games and go to bed.
To be fair, my office was the spare room next to his bedroom, and I didn't yet have headphones.
Spy_cut_eye@reddit
This is a wild take considering it is their house.
In both instances.
Skore_Smogon@reddit
This. My dad's ears are pretty much just decorative at this point but I got him a pair of shocks and he only takes them off to sleep.
inabighat@reddit (OP)
That's actually a good idea. I will investigate!
Working5daysaWeek@reddit
It will depend on the TV. My Mom has an older smart TV, but no Bluetooth capability. Good luck!
balding_git@reddit
good luck! we got my dad some nice headphones but he didn’t use them too much. my mom has been using them at least..
TheEighthTower@reddit
This. Get them a modern phone, TV, tablet and an ok set of bluetooth either over ear or bone conductions. Did this for a relative and they now wear the bone conduction open ear bands or raybans 24/7. It was like a magic trick figuring out they could just go device to device.
frooootloops@reddit
On a tangential note, many older folks don’t like hearing aids because they can feel them in their ears. However, people our age are very used to earbuds and AirPods, so hopefully, when it comes time for us to require hearing aids, we will be more apt to use them.
CookCheap4815@reddit
If the have a surround sound system or a sound bar turn up the center channel/speaker. Most voices come out of there and turning up just the center often makes it much easier to hear at a overall lower volume
CplHicks_LV426@reddit
Costco sells hearing aids and will do a free hearing test that is surprisingly comprehensive. A really nice set of hearing aids is less than $2k all in.
Murky_Performer5011@reddit
2K is a BASIC set of hearing aids. My mom’s last set were 10K and she got those pre-pandemic, I don’t even want to think what they’d cost now.
CplHicks_LV426@reddit
A lot has changed in the hearing aid market in the past few years.
shmelse@reddit
My dad is insanely deaf but got mad at how expensive hearing aids are. They are not poor, just weirdly cheap about some things and apparently in his hearing? is one of them???
Frequent_Alfalfa_347@reddit
I feel this. My dad has needed hearing aids for decades. FINALLY got them at 89. Got the cheapest ones. They’re uncomfortable and don’t work well. No shit, Sherlock! Why the hell is THIS where you’re cheaping out?!
shmelse@reddit
Right? He has glasses, has had those for years. Why is this the bridge too far?
cellrdoor2@reddit
My Dad was like this but changed their tune pretty quickly when I pointed out the correlation between losing hearing and developing dementia.
shmelse@reddit
Maybe I should try again but he’s just so difficult and certain he’s always right, it’s a lot to take on tbh
elmoosh@reddit
Every time I read through the comments on this sub I’m convinced over half of us have/had the exact same parents. It’s nuts.
Realistic-Action-492@reddit
If you are in an area with a Costco, that is worth the cost of an executive membership. My husband (57) just got hearing aids, and they were $1600. Free hearing test, free batteries for life, and something else (I want to say domes) also free for life. We had 6 months to use them and if he decided they weren’t for him, we could get a full refund. He got the sennheisier (I have no idea how it’s spelled), and he can take calls through them, he streams the tv through them, and I can have the volume all the way down. It’s all controlled through his phone, but he also has buttons in the aid itself.
It took maybe 2-3 weeks for the whole process. I wish we did this sooner. Not only did he get a big part of his life back, but it’s also helped me as I (46) navigate the hell that is perimenopause. LIFE CHANGING.
inabighat@reddit (OP)
Wow. I'll have to check that out!
shmelse@reddit
I’ll have to see if there’s any hearing aids recommended by Consumer Reports, otherwise I’ll try this lol
Realistic-Action-492@reddit
They are all top of the line - it’s not a profit thing for them, which is why they are able to keep the cost so low. Maybe check out the Costco sub for hearing aids for more info. I wish you luck!
WhatTheCluck802@reddit
You know what? I am in my mid forties and have had progressive hearing loss since my twenties. I too was cheap AF and figured I’d just muddle along because it wasn’t like I was completely deaf or whatever. A handful of years ago my state passed mandatory hearing aid coverage legislation and after that I got hearing aids and let me tell you - GAME CHANGER. Plus they’re Bluetooth and rechargeable and just all around rad.
Moral of the story - being able to hear better is truly worth the investment.
shmelse@reddit
Oh, I’m convinced!!! I’m not the problem though…
PersonalityAlive6475@reddit
Turn on subtitles. I did this for my dad when he was visiting at one point years ago & really only turn it off for live events where the subtitles are delayed. Can help fill in the blanks if you’ve missed something, too. 🤷🏻♂️
Frequent_Alfalfa_347@reddit
I did this for my parents and they somehow turned them into Spanish subtitles. I wish i was kidding. They absolutely cannot figure out how to change them back. I’m going to have to schedule technology visits several times a year.
inabighat@reddit (OP)
I always use subtitles on Netflix haha
SpinachnPotatoes@reddit
MIL is incredibly hard of hearing. However even though her medical will pay for hearing aids she refuses to even consider them.
TV, Radio, cellphone conversation - we can hear it all from our room on the other side of the house. Her other kids have got her earphones but she gave them to our kids cause she is not using things like this.
Separate-Relative-83@reddit
My mom got hearing aids. Love it.
smokythejoker@reddit
Moved in with my MIL after FIL passed. It’s a good deal on paper. MIL has a HUGE house to herself. Wife and I get an entire upstairs suite. MIL is in the master in downstairs and across the house, and I can hear what she’s watching. She has the TV blasting all night at high volume. WHY?!? Why do you need to hear the TV at 2:00 AM? Have you heard of headphones?
jjmawaken@reddit
Probably from all the screaming and noise you made as a kid :)
DefendsTheDownvoted@reddit
"HOW DEAF ARE THEY?!"
heresmytwopence@reddit
I did a post-divorce stay with my folks in 2006. Can't even imagine doing it now, 20 years later. I wish you serenity and a quick rebuild of your life.
inabighat@reddit (OP)
Hah thanks. It is most definitely a change. As soon as I'm off the mortgage (hopefully by summer) I can start filling in the debt hole and move on.
heresmytwopence@reddit
I hear you. I had to file a Chapter 7 bankruptcy after my divorce.
Festygrrl@reddit
My dad has hearing aids but turns them off because background noises annoy him. So all conversations involve him yelling to hear himself and me yelling at him to turn his fucking hearing aids on.
kg51113@reddit
My mom is temporarily without one hearing aid. I had to tell her to put the phone up to the ear with the hearing aid!
YourGuyK@reddit
My mom has hearing aids, but she turns them off a lot. My dad gets mad because she can't hear him, and I finally had to point out to my dad that he mumbles a lot which is probably why she can't understand him.
kg51113@reddit
My mom just doesn't put them in if she's not going anywhere and not expecting company. Because apparently you don't need to hear properly if you're at home. My kid does the same thing with glasses. I guess seeing clearly isn't important.
ZaphodBeeblebrahx@reddit
WHAT???
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
My grandpa was losing his hearing and driving me insane! Until we got his hearing aids, I hooked his TV up to some Bluetooth headphones. We finally talked him into hearing aids by telling him he'd lose his mind if he lost his hearing. He was so proud of being in his right mind and remained so for a long time.
Bulky_Pop_8104@reddit
I only see my mom a couple times a year due to geography, but I’d been finding her behaving increasingly rudely the last few years - talking over people, being dismissive, etc… and eventually it dawned on me that she’s going deaf. I think she was actively trying to mask it, but it was just making her come off badly. I ended up speaking to her about it and she agreed it was time to get checked out
BK_0000@reddit
My dad is deaf enough that he blew out the speakers on his TV and I had to go buy a soundbar for it. He turns it our so loud that if he's watching a movie with a lot of explosions and bass, I can feel it in the floor.
WhatTheCluck802@reddit
Your dad is four years younger than my grandmother who just turned 86.
My hearing loss is right there with them though. In my mid 40s and I have worn hearing aids for years now. My hearing aids have Bluetooth and they’re rechargeable and they’re super rad. Can’t imagine life without them now. Get your parents hooked up with some!
effinglovetruffleoil@reddit
My dad got hearing aids that connect to his phone via Bluetooth. Whenever he’s watching something on his phone, I can hear it from across the room. I think it’s actually adding to his hearing loss 🤦🏻♀️
sprky316@reddit
So you’re saying your single ;p but getting some bone conducting headphones as some said works wonders.
Hazel_Rah1@reddit
Think you might need to conduct your bone elsewhere, my G
sprky316@reddit
It was joke my guy. Chill
cantremembr@reddit
My mom spent years fighting with us about hearing aids. She recently had to undergo long-term hyperbaric oxygen treatments which further damaged her hearing but also created cataracts in both eyes.
After now having been deaf AND blind, she's had both her cataract surgeries and scheduled an audiologist 🙏🏻
kankelberri@reddit
Huh?
dance-9880@reddit
If it's come on slowly, they would not have noticed it. We had the same problem when our father in law lived with us. Headphones at night helped a lot.