You greet your aunt with a hug and ask her if she wants to leave right now (make an excuse to drive your own vehicle so you two can duck out.) When someone calls or texts to ask where she went, tell them she’s done with him.

Share with your aunt how helpful you have found your therapy journey and that you know their marriage would have been a lot for anyone to handle so you hope that she talks to someone (if you haven’t yet, start, but also I think a little white lie is justified if it helps her feel comfortable going to therapy and hopefully breaking the cycle.) Let her know that you are there for her when she wants to talk about it.

If you see anyone bully her (possibly the folks who pressured her into holding the service) you physically insert yourself between them and tell them “she said no and you need to respect that.” Hold your ground. They will probably say something about you “making a scene” so reply with, “no, you’re the one disrespecting a widow at her husband’s funeral, so you’re in the wrong here. You need to apologize to her. If I see you try it again, we’re going to have a problem.” Maintain eye contact until they look away. Hold onto those feelings of anger and channel them into protecting your aunt.