My phone is a useful tool. It is there to assist me. It is not there to annoy me. Nor am I just waiting around to be at the beck and call of others. I like my alone time or me time. I occasional run into people who have different perspectives than me regarding instant messages. They seem to expect me to be available for immediate confirmation or answering questions or debates or whatever. I simply disabuse them of that notion and help level set expectations regarding my availability. I am a sometimes friend or employee. There will be hours I am completely or tentatively unavailable. And if they aren't paying me, my participation is entirely optional. If they want me to be interested, they need to be interesting.

Communication is a two way street. You need to know your audience. If your audience doesn't know how to communicate with you, how will they learn if you don't teach them?