ULPT request, blocked driveway

Posted by Lord_lost@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 31 comments

Hey all,

Feeling generally annoyed and petty. Came home from the shops today, and someone had parked completely blocking access to my driveway. Parked up on the road, put the shopping away and waited. About half an hour later the owner comes to move the car, acts as if there's no way he could have known he was blocking the drive way, and getting annoyed that I called him out on it. He's since moved the car.

I've got his licence plate, and a photo of his parking. And I'm basically just after a way to spoil his day. Open to any and all suggestions.

thanks in advance

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Goodlucklol_TC@reddit

block his driveway

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ChefMongo@reddit

Call the local tow company.

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Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit

Just have them towed next time. Very few places where it's legal to block a driveway.

Since it's after the event thistime, drop a frozen piss disk on their car seat if they ever leave their window down. Also, cast birdseed on/around their car. And fox piss in the air intake.

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Follow_youre_heart@reddit

I always carry a vial of fresh fox piss for such occasions

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Ill-Confusion-1844@reddit

Well, if that’s unavailable there’s always Mountain Dew.

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RealBigDickBrannigan@reddit

Or Liquid Ass.

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FormidableMistress@reddit

Doe estrus.

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killermfKT@reddit

There maybe a shift lineage under their car that manually shifted into neutral allowing for the car to be wished out of the way.

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Jesus_peed_n_my_butt@reddit

I have a heavy duty tow strap. I'd move them out of the way and blocking the road completely.

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Roonwogsamduff@reddit

username is, well, quite unique

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ImpressionAccurate37@reddit

You move it or I will

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Simons_fede@reddit

Gotta use that strap, girl

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sberniem@reddit

Flatten all the tires but don’t poke holes. Then tell him he has five minutes to move it or he’s getting towed.

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hiimderyk@reddit

Place a BB in the valve stem cap, screw down, walk away.

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Holden-McGroyn@reddit

Glue BB in a valve stem cap to cause a slow air leak. When they re-inflate the tire and replace the cap, it starts all over.

Fold over duct tape on itself with about 6 inches left sticky. Tape it to the tread of their tire. When they drive, the flap art will slap inside the wheel well and freak them out.

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_mcnach_@reddit

my kind of evil, love it

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Otherwise-Topic-1791@reddit

A harmonica zip tied to the under carriage can make them think something is wrong with the car.

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Holden-McGroyn@reddit

Can also put a long zip tie on their drive shaft to slap around.

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EatSleepJeep@reddit

Wiper blades are easily removed and cheap.

Wiper arms are easily removed and are oddly expensive.

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Unique_Anywhere5735@reddit

Ah, the old potato up the tailpipe trick again, eh?

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duckinradar@reddit

Should have called a tow truck

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itzbetter@reddit

Glue the gas hatch shut. The windows, the wipers, fuck it everything. This asshole had no respect… in reality only glue what the won’t notice until they leave.

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Over-Bug1501@reddit

gif

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Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit

The Sophia Petrillo solution. 😂

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Grant_Winner_Extra@reddit

You’re a day late and a dollar short. No solution now.

Next time (there will be one), be prepared: Buy some used construction equipment - excavator, bush hog, cement mixer. Block their vehicle in with the construction equipment. If they complain, say “We’re in the middle of something, we’ll move the equipment in an hour or two”.

Alternate: buy a Denver boot off Alibaba. Boot their car. Include a note that you will remove the boot if they pay a $200 parking fee.

Alternate: If they are on your property, remove their tires and stack them neatly next to their vehicle.

Alternate: Piss or shit in the vent intakes. shit, pain, or glue on the windshield.

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Bratchan@reddit

you should be able to pay a small fee online to get address. Then you can ship a dick, ship poop or drive to this house and mint or catnip bomb his yard. its the perfect season for it.

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Cloudycloud47x2@reddit

He moved the car so you too should move on but ....

Have a box of thumb tacks ready for the next car that parks there.

Toss a handful under both front tires. Most wont do anything but some might creat a nice slow leak that will not be found for several days.

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OcotilloWells@reddit

The head of them will break off quickly, but the pin part of it will work it's way into the tire.

I found that out in high school, when I put a couple of tacks on the heel of my shoe, thinking it would slow down the wear of the sole. The top part broke off in a couple of days, I thought the whole tack was gone. A couple of days later, I ran in them, and it started poking the heels of my feet.

Boy are teenagers dumb, including me.

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