Women pilots - did having children and being a pilot work out?

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Altruistic-Cod1330@reddit

You miss out on a lot. Especially the junior years. As a mother, do you want to be away from your child x amount of time?

You’re going to find plenty that tell you it’s doable and yada yada. That doesn’t mean it’s ideal in any way.

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BigJellyfish1906@reddit

Just don’t marry a pilot. You can’t both live the airline life. Someone has to be reliably at home.

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latedescent@reddit

We have several pilot couples at brown. It comes with its challenges but also it’s an easy million dollar a year household at Capt pay, so that helps.

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It’s never “easy” to make $500/k at captain. Very few pilots will ever get close. Let alone two of them at the same time. If they do it isn’t by seeing their kids. It’s by taking every flight and then some. It’s not that it’s not a good living but $1mm a year it’s largely improbable and impossible with a family life.

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BagOfMoneyNoChange@reddit

Not even remotely true.

Source: over a million in combined income the last 5 years straight.

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Important_Repeat_806@reddit

That make you two of the top 1 percent of legacy pilots good for you. You are not the standard you are the expecting. I also am a 1% and actually realize it.

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LookoutBel0w@reddit

I know FO’s with 3 years seniority making 300k at almost every legacy. A captain 500 is like the bare minimum lol

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latedescent@reddit

Captains at brown do 400 without lifting a finger. The way it’s been here lately 500 isn’t unachievable. Next contract it’ll be doable part time.

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BagOfMoneyNoChange@reddit

Literally any captain past year 6 pay at a legacy is bringing in 500k.

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latedescent@reddit

Sorry but this just isn’t true.

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HateJobLoveManU@reddit

It seems like less of a problem with the career and more of a problem of you not even having the person yet

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ananajakq@reddit

A lot of female pilots have kids. They bid positions senior or getting into the training department so they work at the sim building. I don’t have kids, I’m 32F. I personally don’t want to juggle both so my husband and I are childfree but almost all the female pilots I know have kids.

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usernamezombie@reddit

We have a two pilot family friends. Lady last week commented she was made to pilot or mother - not both. I felt for her. I don’t see how she does as good as she does.

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Imaginary_Trust_7019@reddit

Not a F, but have a good friend that is. Works great. They are both pilots.

When their kids were born the mom took a year of parental leave, dad took 6 months after with a bit of over lap (18 months available in Canada). Now they are both back at work with two kids.

They are both staying in junior positions as senior pilots and work 8-12 days a month with a lot of control of their schedule. They also afford a half share of a nanny so they don't have to get to bogged down with mondaine chores and can focus on playing with the kids, keeping fit themselves and enjoying life.

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NoRadio4530@reddit (OP)

This gave me hope! Thanks. Also Canadian and didn't know paternal leave could be an extra 6 months, thought it has to be 12 months split so that's awesome!

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Imaginary_Trust_7019@reddit

In Canada you can have 18 months, at a slightly lower payment than 12 months, so you essentially get more time for the same money. You can split that amongst your family how you sit.

I work at the bigger airline in Canada. Seniority rules our lives. The benefit of that is you can stay in a more junior (less pay) position and be more senior which could equal more days off and better control of your schedule. We also have a pregnancy top up that for people that we got on our latest contact but I don't know much about it.

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Honest_Bison_1494@reddit

Mainline FO, 34. I have a baby under a year old and am currently pregnant again. I was worried about this my entire time I was in flight training on but figured I’d cross that bridge when I got there. And I’ll tell you so far it has been so much better than I ever expected. My only advice would be to try to make it to a major before having kids. Can you do it at a regional and make it work? Definitely. But in my experience having kids at a major has been a lot easier to navigate. At my airline we have a very good LTD (disability) program and pretty much everyone goes on this by 36 weeks and you are covered until 6 weeks after births. I had a complicated pregnancy with my first and had to go out early and was covered by this program the entire pregnancy. So you don’t necessarily have to fly with the big 7 month belly. My airline did a survey and about half of pilots stopped flying by 28 weeks which surprised me. There are a lot of factors that go into this though, so I’m not trying to generalize. Just give you my perspective.

Also you are given a full year off (unpaid) to bond with your child no questions asked at all of the majors right now to my knowledge. And then I was always so worried that once I went back to work being gone would be so hard and it is (I am back flying at the moment) but also the break is amazing for me. All of my other mom friends are in traditional corporate jobs and I never realized how little time that is with your kids. People have always told me through my career that you get more time with your kids as a pilot and I thought they were just saying that to be reassuring. But as a working pilot mom comparing to my other friends it is completely accurate. This also does have nuance based on your situation though. I’m fairly senior so I never have to fly more than 3 days at a time, and can usually get 2 days and day trips so I’m home most nights. If you are really junior working red eye 4 days it would be a different situation. Still you will get more time at home with the kids overall. Feel free to PM me if you have specific questions!

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Icy_Huckleberry_8049@reddit

Lots of female pilots have kids

SO - YES

And even before that, thousands of FA's had kids and they fly the same schedules

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NoRadio4530@reddit (OP)

Very true, I always forget flight attendants have literally the same schedule and most are women

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7nightstilldawn@reddit

The bigger problem is who you settle down with. Are they going to be able and willing to be a stay at home parent when you are gone for long stretches? Otherwise, being a 100% present mom more than 50% of the time is doable.

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dopexile@reddit

It would be best to take a break from the career for 5-8 years or so. That way, you can spend time with them when they are in their most formative years and wait until they are school age, where they are busier and more independent, so being gone won't be as detrimental.

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samwisegamja@reddit

I know a lot of mothers that fly. It’s definitely a challenge if you want to be always there for the kids. Finding an understanding partner and/or family that live nearby to help when you are inevitably away helps greatly. Some people find a job that works out and stay long term in instructing roles, commuters, or regionals where they can rack up seniority and control their schedules. When kids are older then they move jobs to majors or continue what they are doing. In any case, be prepared to make sacrifices in time or career with family. Good luck

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Obvious-Principle-84@reddit

kinda tough balancing it all but definitely doable if u want it

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capn_davey@reddit

It’s depressing that this is still a question. Any company that can afford to operate a plane can afford to provide maternity/paternity leave and pay/schedule that allows a family life.

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petrrrrrd@reddit

Yes three children captain flying wide body now. My husband is self employed so it worked very well at the regional level while the kids were young I did plenty of day trips.

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fallingfaster345@reddit

One of my friends took her private checkride 9 months pregnant. Now she’s an airline pilot with a kid. Did every single subsequent rating with a new born/baby and now flies for the airlines. Don’t believe for even a second that having kids and being a pilot or a flight attendant isn’t feasible.

Kids don’t have to stop you from achieving goals, from having a career, from traveling, from living your life. There’s this idea that’s been churned into American society that a woman’s life is and should be over when they have kids and that their purpose is now exclusively “mother” and they live their lives for their children. This is some extreme bullshit, almost as much as it is that men aren’t subjected to the same pressures. Sure men get out of the pregnancy and breast feeding part, but men are no less parents than women and most of the married airline pilots I know (of any gender) either have or want kids. This wasn’t a pregnancy specific question so it really rubs me the wrong way that it’s only addressed to women pilots. Pregnancy is the fucking short stick, for sure, but it’s one of those things that you just deal with and then go back to flying. And, yes, they make maternity uniforms and you just fly for a while with a baby bump. Or you can adopt. (There are great groups online for female pilots and I would say that the majority of the chatter on there is about pregnancy related stuff, so that’s a good place to look for that kind of feedback btw.)

But regardless, plenty of pilots, men and women, have children and are still perfectly good parents to their little crotch goblins. Don’t let wanting to contribute to the population rate deter you from pursuing a rewarding career if that’s also something you want.

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swakid8@reddit

I am a male.

I have flown with quite a few women who have kids. It is very feasible. Actually have a good friend at Fed Ex who recently had a kid as well…

Aviation is very feasible for a woman with kids. It has its challenges, but every job is going to present challenges to having kids now days.

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ReadyplayerParzival1@reddit

I don’t plan on having kids. Even at an airlines pilot pay it’s still a huge financial sink and not to mention time. I also don’t really want to deal with not being able to fly for like 15 months. Idk, I’m just happy being free and exploring with my partner.

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BagOfMoneyNoChange@reddit

You were born a man. Of course you can't have kids.

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Which_Material_3100@reddit

Yep. “Kiddo” is 28 yo, he’s doing well, and we are close. 34 years at my airline. Tough but doable!

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eliteniner@reddit

Met a 4 time mom who flies 777s for United. Currently pregnant on her 4th kid and flew before any kids

Anything is possible

Especially if you find a job that puts you in a small room with different random dudes for hours on end every day

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Hot_Weather_2691@reddit

Yep! Am mom and have been flying for 18 years and have 2 kids. I work at a major us airline and married to a charter pilot. Have flown small single engine and multi engine props, helicopters, and commercial jets. It’s totally do-able.

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cestsara@reddit

Following! I’m 30 as well and nearly done with my PPL. I don’t want any other career in the world but I worry sometimes.

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C_Saunders@reddit

Join the Lady Aviators Facebook group! Lots of women there will be able to give you advice.

I am not a pilot nor a mother but I do work in an industry where your career is your life and I’m single as fuck, so I feel you girl!!

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GopherState@reddit

Had a classmate a little older than you at my airline. When she got pregnant she stopped flying at about 7 months pregnant (which I think is recommended) and then when it came time to come back to the flight deck she just kept taking more personal leave. She quit last month without ever coming back.

It’s certainly more of a challenge to have kids and fly as a female pilot. Talked to another one who said her two kids matched up with the two times she was furloughed. People make it work. But, I think any way you slice it infant-little kid age is hard to be a parent and fly. I’m just a dad and it’s still tough for me to leave my 9 month old and wife on a 4-5 day trip.

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rFlyingTower@reddit

This is a copy of the original post body for posterity:

I (30F) am finishing up my commercial license but I'm starting to feel the pressure of settling down in time to have kids. I've always been family oriented but just haven't been lucky enough to find the right person.

I'm now worried that aviation might not be worth pursuing further if I want to have children one day so I'd like to ask anyone on here with experience, either yourself or someone you know, of whether having kids is feasible as a pilot? Are we just flying with an 7 month baby bump and it's okay? lol

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