If you have an older parent who struggles with their computer and doing email, this tip might help.

Posted by Digitalabia@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 45 comments

My mom is basically computer illiterate. But rather than just give up, she still wants to do email. But literally every day she would call me with some issue for why her email isn't working. And of course it was working fine, she just didn't realize she was in the her spam folder, or that she needed to refresh her inbox or a million other reasons. And of course you can't really help her over the phone, so it becomes frustrating for everybody.

The tip I came up with is to get her a Chromebook and you get a Chromebook. Just something cheap, like less than $200. The reason being, Chromebook has a connectivity app that is super easy to use. It allows you to literally log in and move the cursor around on their computer while they watch. I can't tell you what a lifesaver this has been. It allows your parent to keep a social life and it saves you from wanting to kill yourself.

Good luck!

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FoolishFriend0505@reddit

For PCs, TeamViewer works well for me. We set them to not auto start and I end the program on their end with I’m done. Saves a lot of time and frustration.

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Sea_Voice_404@reddit

My mom clicked on a phishing email yesterday because she “knew the person who sent it.” (Name was the same as someone she had barely known when she was younger and hadn’t seen in 20 years…) The number of red flags in the email were incredibly high, and the scammers didn’t even try to cover up where the link went. Thankfully it was on a Mac, thankfully I was visiting because it pulled up a full screen browser window and did the “your computer is locked” thing. Showed her how to get out of that, ran Malwarebytes multiple times, showed her AGAIN the red flags in the email and how to tell.

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Digitalabia@reddit (OP)

showed her AGAIN the red flags in the email and how to tell.

Yes! I've been teaching my mom how to identify scams. She's getting better but just last week she entered her log in and password info into a phishing email. Luckily, she couldn't remember her password so it did nothing. But she's getting better.

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Sea_Voice_404@reddit

Ugh she got lucky there.

My dad even rolled his eyes when I was telling him about this and named all the potential red flags before I could say them, so at least I’ve got him trained.

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Digitalabia@reddit (OP)

If it helps, you can just have minimal apps on the screen so they can't get lost. My mom just has a Chrome app and a direct link to her grandkids photos in Google photo and a icon for Youtube. That's it.

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Sea_Voice_404@reddit

Except this was an email so that wouldn’t have helped unfortunately

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AngstyAF5020@reddit

Education is the main issue. There's a plethora of software that will allow you to remote into another computer. A lot of them are free. But it's still opening a port to the outside. With constant reminders, my mother is now willing to click on NOTHING in an email. 🤣 Then when I talk to her she tells me about getting the email but not clicking on anything. It's like she wants me to know that she's behaving herself. LOL

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Digitalabia@reddit (OP)

I find the older generation doesn't want to learn anything. They resent having to learn.

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WillPoleDance4Carbs@reddit

I bought my Mom an iMac last year. I haven’t had a single IT related call since.

She absolutely loves it.

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CommissionFeisty9843@reddit

I just talked my FIL into replacing his Chromebook with a new Mac Neo.

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SchoolForSedition@reddit

And for those older persons who have snide-looking younger relatives or colleagues who persistently offer to help with computer issues for which there is no help such as a ransomware attack on your system for which nobody pays and now no documents shall be retrieved by anyone.

Let them try. It’s not impossible they will fix it (though I have yet to see it).

They think they’re being kind. Encourage that, even if they’re really trying to show how superior and clever they are. Kids always think that anyway.

Remember how in a really effective attack we are all in this together and all get to go home early.

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DefaultAll@reddit

One of my greatest achievements was helping my aunt retrieve an accidentally deleted email on her iMac over the phone in about 2009.

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Sea_Voice_404@reddit

Impressive! How long did it actually take?

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DefaultAll@reddit

More than half an hour, it was like playing chess blind or something.

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Sea_Voice_404@reddit

Oh man, I feel for you on that.

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lapsedPacifist5@reddit

Google chrome remote desktop does the same and works on any pc, should work on Macs too I think. Careful about installing it, as IT support will be in your future...ask me how I know.

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abstractraj@reddit

Not me. My mom started on mainframes and eventually worked on relational databases. My mom crushes it

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yanknga@reddit

Consider yourself truly blessed by the universe. You have been spared a tremendous amount of frustration, inconvenience and hair pulling.

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DrEyeBender@reddit

Windows has built in Remote Assist.

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Optimal-Ad-7074@reddit

I haven't used this and don't know what safeguards are built in with chromebook, but .... find out. think like a bad actor. impute jaw dropping innocence to your mom. make sure you lock that thing down so that only people you trust will ever have the ability to see her emails.

remote access is a great tool and a potential nightmare, both at the same time.

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Ok-Limit-9726@reddit

Yes!

Since we got the inlaw’s an ipad, never had a problem!

Once we set it all up, connected wifi ,updated, set up email, automatic updates, 100% success!

GWT THEM OFF THE PC!

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drkole@reddit

you can do this from any computer where both have a chrome browser and chrome remote desktop

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thepostmerc@reddit

At the end of last year, my parents told me they were going to finally give up their flip phones and go with a smart phone. I told them it would be a good idea to get iPhones because that’s what I have and I’d be able to help them figure out any issues easier since I’m 700 miles away. My dad was also interested in the ability to use AirPods and the LiveListening feature.

For weeks we talked about which model of phone to get and upgrading their plan etc. But I also told them to call me when they were in the Verizon store so I could talk to the salesperson to explain what they wanted to do to ensure they didn’t get taken advantage of.

Shortly before Christmas my dad calls me and proudly says “I’m calling you from my new phone!” I said, “oh? Which iPhone model did you get?” He said, “Google Pixel”. I was like what the hell? He said they had a sign saying “get the Google Pixel on us” so that’s the deal he asked for. I said, “they have the same deal on the iPhone!!”

Not more than 2 days later, he called me and was asking “how do I do _____?” And I just said, I don’t know because I don’t have that phone. I was so pissed that after all of the planning and discussion about going with the iPhone and he blows it out of the water.

My mom was having such a hard time adjusting to the Pixel she went and got her old flip phone reactivated on a completely different plan. Her brother (who is not very technical either) told her, “you should have gotten the iPhone, they’re a lot easier to use”.

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accidentallyHelpful@reddit

They're all easy to use

Nobody is making a phone difficult and staying in the game

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happycj@reddit

Reading comprehension is not your strong suit, is it?

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accidentallyHelpful@reddit

What makes you say this?

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CapstickWentHome@reddit

Sounds like my MIL. She got a good deal on an iPhone, after years on Samsung and Motorola. she hadn't a clue how to use it, so she called me for help. I was no use, as the last iOS device I'd owned was a 2nd gen iPod touch. After a week or two she gave up, returned it to the store and got another Samsung instead.

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werby@reddit

You can do this with any 2 macs as well. Of course way more expensive but if that’s what you both have you can take control of their screen using iMessage.

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mazerbrown@reddit

I've decided that the biggest problem with the boomer gen is that they were constantly told "don't touch", "you have to be trained to do this or you'll fail", "you'll break it!" They waited for permission or instructions. Starting with GenX and on down we just learned to press buttons and click on links till we got tech to do what we wanted. When that didn't work we just ask google what to do. Anyway. I don't think they're dumb though some weaponize that incompetence... I think they're just too afraid to try anything.

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CheeseMakingMom@reddit

I think it depends on the individual. I’m GenX (59F) and my mother (84F) uses her iPad or late version iPhone for practically everything. My dad (b. 1941, d. 2024) loved the latest and greatest of all technology, whether it be an iPhone or a pager, he was into it.

He bought us kids cassette games for the computer in the late 1970s, that’s how into technology he was. He had several versions of Apple Watches among his belongings that mother wants me to “take care of” while I don’t even know how to split screens on my laptop 🙄

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Techchick_Somewhere@reddit

Yay! That’s a great idea. Yesterday I got a call from my dad because his Mac had no volume. 😆. Cat had walked across the keyboard and hit mute. Used FaceTime on his iPad to see his keyboard and point out the mute key.

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mazerbrown@reddit

I fixed one once where the screen had been inverted, rotated 180 and turned black and white. Turns out their kid had been pounding on the keyboard. It took pressing 5 keys at once to return it to normal. That was the wierdest one ever.

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HiOscillation@reddit

I want the same thing for the fucking TV and TV Remote.

Literally a way to log into their TV, see what they are seeing, and also have a virtual remote control so I can tell dad, for the 89,000th time, that he needs to press the "Guide" button to see all the shows that are on.

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minrenken@reddit

I’ve taken a photo of the remotes and computer desktop so I can tell them where the button is or what icon to click. It’s made a huge difference to my aggravation. And theirs too, I’m sure

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cofclabman@reddit

Take pictures of all remote controls, thermostats, dishwasher, washing machine, and dryer, Cordless phones. Basically, if it has a button on it take a photo of it and you’ll save yourself so many trips to their house when they get older to turn the heater on or to put the dishwasher back in the right mode.

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Ferrally_Polite@reddit

🤣😂🤣 I relate to this in my soul

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thejadsel@reddit

This brings back memories of my grandmother about 20 years ago. Thankfully she lived in the same neighborhood, but I was usually the one who got to go up there and "fix" the TV for her. Which she "broke" with the remote at least several times a week.

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SHDrivesOnTrack@reddit

I had the same issue with my parents, dad was computer savvy, but was a terrible teacher, mom would get frustrated. Could never learn how to use his computer to send email. Half because computer illiterate, and half because dad customized his setup to within an inch of its life.

I bought my mom an iPad about 14 years ago, and that has worked out really well. To get things rolling, I did have to add everybody to her address book for her, but so far it has been working pretty well. She is on her third iPad now.

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jdsciguy@reddit

I fondly recall the early 90s when my 80 year old great aunts and uncles were excited about being able to keep in touch with me at college because I would finally have email.

But they were early Greatest Generation, not the technophobic silent and boomer generations. I've worked in settings where we helped people with computers, and it astonishes me how deliberately computer illiterate people born from about 1940 to 1965 tend to be. If you're reading this and about to reply with an objection, consider that you are likely an exception.

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gmkrikey@reddit

Email and Internet and all the rest were invented by people born 1940 to 1965. Jobs and Gates for example - both 1955.

Ray Tomlinson invented email. Born 1941.

Sir Tim Berners-Lee invented the Web. Born 1955

You get my point.

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Pickles2027@reddit

Odd. I work with folks in that age bracket everyday. They are not the exception to the rule. Several of them are the key people others go to to get computer help and to learn from. Maybe you’re the exception to the rule about knowing people of all ages with a variety of different skills.

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Apprehensive_Glove_1@reddit

Or a remote control software like DW service or TeamViewer, which are free.

Truth be told, they're probably just using it as an excuse to call you and possibly see you.

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