Learning how to adult at 27. Has anyone else been a similar age and managed to get it together?
Posted by Opposite_Praline_746@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 48 comments
27M. Always lived at home until last month. Was made homeless after an argument. Now I'm living with a Redditor for 5 months while I save up and focus on my fitness. Admittedly, I'm very behind other people my age and younger in all aspects of life. Just signed up to the gym, I can drive but I sold my car in November, I've never dated let alone had a relationship before. Has anyone here been a similar age and managed to turn it around?
ThinkIshatmyself@reddit
You're young, you've got time. Find the right headspace first and foremost, have a few personal goals and just piece things together a little bit at a time.
811545b2-4ff7-4041@reddit
Sorry to break it to you, but 27 isn't young. This sounds like a failure of parenting imo - or a really stubborn child.
ThinkIshatmyself@reddit
Sorry to break it to you but 27 is still
811545b2-4ff7-4041@reddit
It's 'young adult' .. but not 'young young'. It's well out of childhood.
By this point, you've had 9 years of legal adulthood
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
Na bro. I'm young as fuck. You'll understand that when you're 27. You're probably 18. Believe me, 18 to 27 goes very quick.
811545b2-4ff7-4041@reddit
Lol, I'm mid 40s. By 27 I'd bought a house and got engaged.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
Ok, and you know that most 27 year olds aren't doing that nowadays, right?
811545b2-4ff7-4041@reddit
Don't get me wrong, I still 'felt' young then. It doesn't just happen that you stop feeling that.
I don't think 'living with your parents' is any kind of definition of being any more adult than anyone else. It's how you are responsible for yourself as part of this and living your life. Shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, washing up, socialising, relationships etc.
If you're mid-20s and still living like a teenager then that's more of the problem I think.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
I do shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, washing up, and socialising. I never see any women my age. I'm originally from a small town in Cambridgeshire and now I'm up North. I don't like dating apps, don't drink, and it's a quiet place here too.
811545b2-4ff7-4041@reddit
Great - so you're not 'learning to adult', are you?
I think now just needs you to get financially on your feet - which is easier said than done.
My normal advice is that if you want big changes, you make big changes. If you live somewhere quiet, and want more.. then move. Fine new work. Find a new town or city. Set yourself some big goals and think what big changes you'd need to make them.
I didn't magically get engaged and buy my first home. I had a job I saw I couldn't move upwards in, I lived somewhere I wasn't meeting anyone - so I job hunted, moved to London, got into a flatshare, and then it all went from there.
But it was a conscious choice to make that move.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
Thank you. I do have a few personal goals for this year, so I'll see what happens.
leclercwitch@reddit
30, still figuring it out! I’ve lived alone since I was 26 and now I’m in a long term relationship learning how to live with a partner and learning how to manage our finances and learning what life together is like. I have lived about 6 different lives over my 20s. This year has been my most consistent year EVER. we’re all still learning and we’re all proper young. It’s fine.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
You're right.
Interesting-One7810@reddit
32 when I moved out, very similar circumstances. you’ll figure it out, stay positive. it’s actually quite freeing once you get the hang of it.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
Cheers mate.
Interesting-One7810@reddit
yw mate, honestly there’s no right or wrong age to ‘grow up’ some never do, some do so far too early, if you’re happy, well fed and do what you can to help those around you you’re doing well man.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
You're right man. I'm good to everyone I meet, so I guess that's all that really matters.
Euan_whos_army@reddit
I'm 42 now, when I work it out, you'll be the first to know!
GrumpyOldFart74@reddit
52… still waiting.
Had this conversation the other week with a mate who’s 65, so don’t get your hopes up
DigitalStefan@reddit
Older than you. Not yet 50. I’ll let you know when I know.
Been making it up as I go along until now.
Euan_whos_army@reddit
The biggest lie parents tell their children is that they know what's going on.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
🤣
BouncyCatMama@reddit
Same and same
Voodoopulse@reddit
Did you just find a random Redditor?
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
He came across one of my posts about being homeless. He was homeless in the same city.
What about my story doesn't ring true from my post history?
TheSmallestPlap@reddit
Pay your bills on time and keep them in good standing. Don't be afraid to buy the cheaper brands when it comes to consumables. Don't be afraid to socialise with those you work with. Invest in a good heater blanket for winter and a good cellular blanket for summer. Be on good terms with your landlord because you never know when you might need a favour or a quick repair. Keep an eye on the various supermarket apps and loyalty schemes for good offers, Sainsbury's is the best loyalty scheme locally for me, check out the nectar card app. Aldi and Lidl are cheap for your essentials. Make sure all of your utilities and services have your correct address such as your local council, doctors and your driving license if you have one.
DigitalStefan@reddit
I turned it around starting 11 years ago in terms of my relationships with other people.
I turned my income around starting around 5 years ago by getting a job where I can flex my skills more.
I’m nearly 50.
It’s never too late.
Remote-Pool7787@reddit
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, don’t make excuses, realise you aren’t special and life isn’t fair. Then get on with life, whatever cards you’ve been dealt
Reasonable-Key9235@reddit
I’m 64 and still not got it together
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
Oh. So it really doesn't get better?
Reasonable-Key9235@reddit
Enjoy life mate, just do it
CoffeeandaTwix@reddit
Being an adult is simply about responsibility and choice. The point of the latter is that you don't wait to be given responsibility; you actively take it. So it's about not choosing to make your parents and then a friend responsible for your welfare and then eventually, you take responsibility for other people and things.
Focusing on your fitness is good but most people manage that around other responsibilities like earning and paying their way. Those things would be a focus as well as keeping fit and healthy.
AssumptionBudget279@reddit
I’m 30 and still living at home, my parents thankfully let me stay until I find a permanent job and know where my salary is coming from once I leave. yep it’s taken a while but I am hoping to turn a temporary job I got, into a permanent job and I finally can leave home so I am thankfully on the right track now.
I have been trying to be more social by using an app called meet ups which is really helping me! There’s different clubs and activities on it! Definitely recommend the app!
BeingOtherwise7829@reddit
I just turned 32 and no lol
Specialist_-Berry@reddit
I'm 28 and I know people still living with parents, you're not abnormal.
The main thing to focus on is what happens from here going forward.
Get yourself a stable job if you don't have one, save money, get yourself over to r/ukpf follow the flow chart, get your own place or move in with (and this bit is very important) a responsible friend to save money on rent and bills.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
That's true. There are a lot of people in their 20's and 30's still living with parents. I'm working on getting a stable job and saving money. I'd say the guy I'm staying with is a responsible friend to save money on rent and bills, so I'll just keep doing that. I have a few goals I want to achieve this year, so I'll see what happens. I think for me my main problem is overcoming mental health problems, but I'm being more productive than I have been over the past few months.
Specialist_-Berry@reddit
That's a good start. You don't need to move mountains overnight. As long as you are moving in the right direction you're doing well.
Remember, satisfaction rarely comes from being where you want to be. It's the journey not the destination.
GrownDandilion@reddit
Yes wont bore you with detail but totally changed my life at 28/29 retrained and start my current career at 34 never looked back and life although isnt perfect (it never is) is far better than were i was. You cant do it never to late to change course or to try somthing new. (We age regardless) find where you want to be and start working towards it. (Hope you make it to)
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
That's great. How did go about starting your current career?
GrownDandilion@reddit
It wasnt a quick process I looked back at all the things I had done and didnt enjoy and worked out the common causes why. I then asked all my friend why they did the roles they did to get ta better perspective. I also looked at what I did enjoy from my preivouse jobs to understand my self and considered where/what I wanted to spend my life doing. For me it was "what I did had an impact" (that somthing I discovered I personally valued but this is subjective) and then made my mind up to do my current job (not saying it here but will tell you if you dm) and set about learning how to get to entry level so I could start a career in a field that mattered to me and now I enjoy. It was hard work over several years and at times I definitely wanted to quit but now I am here I enjoy it and have to remind myself on tough days what my life was like before.
StillTrying1981@reddit
We're all just working it out as we go, wondering how everyone else has it all figured out and we don't...
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
That's true. I've been out of a job for about 6 months now and my life has fell apart in every sense. I really don't know when I'll figure it out because I always compare myself to people much younger than me that actually do seem to have it all figured out.
zzzcccttts@reddit
i cant speak for myself yet, but ive seen my parents restarting their lives in their 40s. life isnt perfect, but the quality of life we have now would have never been possible if they had just given up and accepted the cards they were dealt. you wont even notice death, so you might as well make life as enjoyable for yourself as you can, never keep your head down
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
That's very true.
NerdOnTheStr33t@reddit
Probs best to start as you mean to go on and don't call it adulting. Don't infantilise yourself like that.
Get yourself in the mindset that you are capable and competent. Learning how to survive in the world, how to pay bills, how to ask for the service you require, how to speak to people in public etc etc all comes together with a bit of practice and confidence. You can fake confidence until these novelties becomes normalities.
It won't take long.
Opposite_Praline_746@reddit (OP)
You're right. Thank you.
super-freak@reddit
I've been in a similar situation for 17 years since suffering an injury at 20 that left me with severe chronic pain, which makes it very difficult to hold down a job. Difference is I've also spent about 8 or 9 of those years travelling the world, by working for as long as I can stand and then disappearing for months or years at a time. Hot climates are the only thing that make me feel better. I'm 37 now and still don't know how to break the cycle. I'm currently in Colombia but need to come home soon, to start again...not relishing that prospect.
Soo that's not very encouraging 😅 but what I can say is that without a chronic health condition, it's very possible to rebuild from nothing. You're still very young too, 27 is nothing. Take it one day at a time.
AutoModerator@reddit
Please help keep AskUK welcoming!
When replying to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc. If a post is marked 'Serious Answers Only' you may receive a ban for violating this rule.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!
Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.