I’m not the best dev, but I have almost 5 years of experience, so I’d say I’m somewhere around mid-level.

Recently, my lead and my senior changed the kind of tasks they give me so I can work on the areas where I’m lacking. But what I’ve noticed is that whenever I make a mistake, or do something my senior disagrees with, it feels like all the progress I’ve made just goes out the window.

I also get the feeling that only the negative stuff about me gets reported to my managing lead. That part really gives me a bad feeling.

I’ve been the slowest on the team because I take extra time to double-check my work, but even then I still miss things sometimes. I do think I’m getting better, though.

What really scares me is that I don’t think I’m showing progress fast enough in my role. I can clearly see the irritation on my senior’s face when we go through my code, and he’s not even trying to hide it.

The silence, the facial expressions, the way he leans back and breathes heavily through his nose when I get something wrong — it all feels loud.

I’ve only been at the company for a year, but I already feel like I should start looking for another job, especially since I’m not meeting my KPIs.