The quintessential pizza place salad
Posted by Raxsus@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 145 comments
Posted by Raxsus@reddit | shittyfoodporn | View on Reddit | 145 comments
UsagiGurl@reddit
The sad plate your diabetic friend pictures when someone says “let’s just get pizza”.
Tjonke@reddit
This is what you get here in Sweden: https://dbtdq1h5evc4p.cloudfront.net/images/origin/large_16e37404-fda0-44ba-b890-830784e7397d-1800-1202-0-106-1800-1308-2.25_f21e10e6fa.jpg
Ew0k_@reddit
What is it?
Tjonke@reddit
https://www.wildnordickitchen.com/traditional-swedish-pizza-salad-recipe-pizzasallad/
whatsthew3rd@reddit
Sooo that's definitely slaw and it is still better than the slop in this post.
damagecontrolparty@reddit
That sounds good. My family has always made coleslaw with a vinegar dressing instead of the creamy kind.
Tjonke@reddit
Yeah, we always get a small container wtih the pizza delivery. Good to eat on it's own or to put ontop of the pizza. But then again Sweden is known for it's insane pizzas
Party_Building1898@reddit
Look at that chunk of cucumber tho!
turkeyvulturebreast@reddit
It’s like they cut it up with a hammer.
whatsthew3rd@reddit
SunOnTheInside@reddit
Is it weird that I kinda like that shit though? Crunchy
Party_Building1898@reddit
Well yeah I like the crunchy but not a chunk like that.
Ok_Oven_7901@reddit
it's missing the half pound of shredded cheese!
disinx@reddit
Needs to come in one of these
Fun_Stand_6792@reddit
Slaps tho
CactusBoyScout@reddit
The Family Guy bit about pizza place salads was so accurate.
Brodiggitty@reddit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgJUbmGDc6k
notoriousbsr@reddit
Hats off to you, I've somehow missed this one and it made my day
CassianCasius@reddit
The first 10 seasons or so of family guy were pretty funny. It went downhill pretty quick once seth stop being involved in the writing after season 10
LzrdKng2112@reddit
Lol 10. It stopped being funny by like season 5
QueezyF@reddit
Modern Family Guy is pretty hit or miss, but there’s still some jokes in there that are pretty goddamn funny.
truffleddumbass@reddit
Thank u
danavenkman@reddit
The whole olive! You’re gonna wanna know you’ve got an olive in your mouth.
CactusBoyScout@reddit
I think of that line every time I eat an entire olive straight from the jar.
TuvixWillNotBeMissed@reddit
It sucks because pitting them yourself is time consuming, but if you ones that have had them removed they're so much worse.
Shivvy128@reddit
Honestly im so lazy about it I just shove the whole olive in my mouth, chew the good stuff off and spit out the pit into a different bowl. I ain't wasting my time
Cel_Drow@reddit
Is this not the proper method?
enadiz_reccos@reddit
Same with pistachios
Side note: "shelled" feels similar to "inflammable"
estistudent@reddit
So extremely accurate, yet every time I see one of these salads I will destroy an entire family sized serving if left unattended.
daizles@reddit
With that super vinegary Italian dressing? Yep I can take a whole catering size salad down easily.
Turbulent-Jaguar-909@reddit
kens golden nectar of the gods
daizles@reddit
Love Ken's! I drive past the factory often
estistudent@reddit
Soooo good and the best one for DIY-ing this kind of salad at home is the Girard’s Italian dressing. If it’s available where you are it is absolutely delicious. I drizzle so much of it over my ugly homemade Italian salads.
daizles@reddit
Ooh, good looking out, friend
crinkledcu91@reddit
Or that runny restraunt style ranch, and then one time someone accidentally uses Bleu cheese instead and you freak out for like 10 seconds, but then end up eating it anyway lol
Ayy_lmao_8@reddit
Well, we got these hot peppers, but you can’t really eat ‘em.
No problem! Dump ‘em all in!
pixelprophet@reddit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgJUbmGDc6k
CityBoiNC@reddit
So spot on
scorpions411@reddit
Put it in a lasagne tray and carry it on these pizzas so it stays nice and warm !
WaltsNJD@reddit
Even the hard to eat white part? It's what the people want!
ImmaculateWeiss@reddit
Cut the tomato into thirds, it should be big enough to pretend you have red teeth
IndiscriminateWaster@reddit
“Hello, every pizza place!”
mrtee915963@reddit
And a carrot, one big slice down the side.
sirnutzaIot@reddit
And put it on top of the pizza so it’s nice and hot when it gets there
sarduchi@reddit
Naw man, where's the single massive pickled pepper?
TeTrodoToxin4@reddit
Where is the third of a carrot, cut long way.
Raxsus@reddit (OP)
I'm kinda mad they forgot the pepper
Emergency_Battle5446@reddit
Either they forgot or they were out of them. There's usually a tad bit more lettuce in the salad, too, so they're definitely skimping out on that. How much did this salad cost you? 🥴
markender@reddit
Where's the giant whole pitted canned black olives??????
Elliethesmolcat@reddit
Did they even warm it?
Emergency_Battle5446@reddit
I get your confusion, but olives are on a restaurant-by-restaurant basis. Not all pizza places include olives in their standard/house salads, whole or otherwise, unless a customer specifically requests olives be added to their salad order (whole or otherwise).
Distinct_Order9043@reddit
Right?! The best part!!!
So-Called_Lunatic@reddit
Or whole slice of cheese, and rolled up slice of ham?
bigbadbreezy@reddit
Some of us wanr to bite into that bad boy and have it spray into my, I mean our, mouth.
TuvixWillNotBeMissed@reddit
I do love Lady and the Tramping some fat juicy hot peppers.
32MPH@reddit
Yup, add a peperoncini or two and that's exactly what I imagine when I think of the pizza salads lol
Rakketytam2000@reddit
Y’know, I’d still mess that salad up.
letstalkaboutfeels@reddit
likely refreshing.
Substantial-Ad-6774@reddit
Gross
anger_leaf@reddit
r/familyguy
johnedn@reddit
There is a pizza place in my hometown (a small town) that is run by my one friends family, specifically started by his grandparents, and his grandma makes all the dressing herself with spices and stuff from her garden at home, and she is a sweet old Italian lady.
There isn't a single thing on the menu at that place that isnt absolute top tier, and Everytime I'm back home I get pizza and a salad from there, eat the salad, dip my pizza in the dressing. It is 10/10 the best pizza and pizza place salad I have ever had and I doubt it will ever be topped.
ruiner8850@reddit
Yeah, there are a few pizza places around where I live that have incredible salads. They are nothing like the "typical pizza place salads" that everyone talks about. Don't get me wrong, there are places that have salads like that as well, but I have access to some damn good ones.
rivenshadowyx@reddit
nice yum bowl!
LostChoss@reddit
At Jerusalem Cafe in KC their greek side salad comes with one of everything. 1 cucumber slice, 1 olive, 1 feta, 1 tomato wedge.
Not even joking. Next time I go I'll have to take a Pic for this sub
saltntequila@reddit
Just slowly eat the raw onion piece whole and maintain eye contact with one of the staff.
Lagunamountaindude@reddit
Looking for a salad at a pizza joint is just silly
johnedn@reddit
Usually yes, I made another comment Abt a pizza shop in my hometown where a sweet old Italian lady who is my friends grandma makes the dressing with ingredients from her garden at home, it's beyond peak
Lagunamountaindude@reddit
I would say that doesn’t fall under pizza joint
johnedn@reddit
Why not?
TheNewYellowZealot@reddit
Can’t be. Doesn’t have a wedge of tomato or a giant shaving of carrot.
Swift12592_Path@reddit
That onion to cucumber ratio looking suspicious but I’d still smash it no cap 😂
Blurstingwithemotion@reddit
Not seeing the unpitted olives😅
pregnantandsober@reddit
Or sliced black olives, the exact ones they use for pizza toppings.
Blurstingwithemotion@reddit
That depends on the place some make heat pizza ans shit salads and some do both😅
zoey_the_trans_rat@reddit
Little bit of this little bit of that ah salad
rolyat_13@reddit
My very first job was pizza counter and this was the first recipe I learned 🤣🤣
I literally remember being told the secret formula : lettuce, two tomatoes olives onions cucumber dressing of choice voila
WritingTheRongs@reddit
my mouth is watering
JuanThiccLumpia@reddit
The quintessential pizza place “warm” salad. They always deliver it on top of the pizza box.
Nate46@reddit
literally the best pizza place salad i ever had was at cici's pizza buffet. Every time, that stuff is crisp, fresh and delicious. Even me as a little kid likes it.
Futt_Buckman@reddit
Idk where you are or maybe pizza where I am is a competitive business but they're salads are always bomb
Raxsus@reddit (OP)
Super small town with nothing going for it right now. That's slowly changing, but the food hasn't caught up yet.
LoFiHigh5@reddit
Someone cue the Family Guy “every pizza place”
OhWhyNotMarie@reddit
It’s all going in our heads right now.
Raxsus@reddit (OP)
I feel l8ke that's the only reason this post is doing numbers.
notlikethemermaid90@reddit
Greek place I presume
Raxsus@reddit (OP)
Its technically Italian, but its owned by a Greek family
catalit@reddit
I literally come home with the Greek salad from the local pizza place and rechop everything myself before mixing it back up. Why won’t they cut stuff up?!?!
Ig00@reddit
Missing the oregano. Why oregano, pizza places? WHY???
Raxsus@reddit (OP)
The oregano was in the dressing
Nightbird88@reddit
In all fairness you ordered it knowing full well.
Raxsus@reddit (OP)
It came with my wifes meal, because she didn't want pizza. This is the first time we've been here
Ill-Proof-1514@reddit
Hey don’t go dissing on it those are peak with a sub sandwich
daily-reporter@reddit
The dressing cup filled and placed in the bowl with unwashed hands? Hell yea
StLMindyF@reddit
You could choke a horse with that cucumber
Hour_Value_3770@reddit
This genuinely made me lol
But_like_whytho@reddit
Heaven forbid a horse have hobbies
Lil_Shorto@reddit
That's what she said!
SpookySpace@reddit
The absolute size if that cucumber.
pocketMagician@reddit
Love the chipped bowl, shows the place is not only hiring untrained cooks, but they're cheap too. Im sure the health inspector loves them.
Raxsus@reddit (OP)
The sad thing is that this is the alleged best place in my wife's hometown. The pizza was super shit too
MarsScully@reddit
I’m sure that lettuce is super clean
Both_Lychee_1708@reddit
Do you have any idea how long they had to look for those salad scraps? What bins they had to scrape? Show some respect.
Oberndorferin@reddit
Maybe in America. I'm pretty much satisfied with my Sicilian Friend down the street here in Germany.
Devanyani@reddit
Most restaurants near me are downright hostile towards people who eat vegetables. "Salads" like this, or the vegetarian burritos with just iceberg and shredded carrot.
Vizjun@reddit
That ain't no antipasto salad. Antipasto is teh shit and doesn't involve cucumbers
EviltwinEdgelord@reddit
HELLO? EVERY PIZZA PLACE!
Scootersockz@reddit
Better than the salad place pizza
Bec_@reddit
They hate chopping anything
Pitiful_Palpitation9@reddit
Where are the pepperoncini?
stanley_leverlock@reddit
My friends and I ordered a couple of pizzas and an antipasto plate at a hole in the wall Ledo one time. At the end of the order I asked for a house salad and she angrily barked at me that asking for a salad made no sense because because the antipasto plate had lettuce in it. We were all like wtf was that about. When the antipasto plate came it was just a pile of iceberg lettuce with a few handfuls of pepperoni and ham on top.
Much-Meringue-7467@reddit
Yes, and I will eat it.
LauraLand27@reddit
I can’t stand white lettuce.
dioctopus@reddit
Where is the one length wise thin slice of carrot?
thatvillainjay@reddit
Im a crazy when I say I low key like pizza place salad?
Strange-Rutabaga3616@reddit
Me too it’s 🤌
mntnskyman@reddit
Must be a chain, the vegetables are cut.
BlueEyedSpiceJunkie@reddit
That looks like some care was taken. Is it sopping wet?
PiskoWK@reddit
Where is the half of a beefsteak tomato?
DriftingIntoAbstract@reddit
This is what vegetarians see when they hear “well they have salad”.
SuccotashFragrant354@reddit
Same as gluten free- “oh there’s salad!” The salad in question:
BuffaloBuckbeak@reddit
They totally have vegetarian dishes!
Aka rice cooked with meat broth, veggies cooked with bacon, and plain lettuce with ranch.
CastTheFirstStone_@reddit
So the family guy bit is realistic
toomuchtv987@reddit
Extremely.
GoodWorks38@reddit
So right
Papichuloft@reddit
And not complete, until the salad is right on top the hot --fresh out of the oven--pizza to make it warm.
BayBandit1@reddit
Just a bit more lettuce and it’s perfect.
MargoHuxley@reddit
My favorite
CosmoKing2@reddit
peeled cuke? You fancy.
DaniMrynn@reddit
Right in the nostalgia
Professional-Gas8306@reddit
lol complete lack of effort.
Physical_Swimming_10@reddit
The $14 side salad
sdot6186@reddit
$14.25 + $2.00 for another side of dressing
NoHorseNoMustache@reddit
That's more cucumber and less lettuce than I'm used to seeing...
Morgannin09@reddit
You know, I never hate these salads
portezbie@reddit
This always offended me a little bit. No pizza places have legit salads
Emotional_Elk_7242@reddit
Naurrrr, that tomato needs to be a (at most) quartered whole tomato. & on a probably more location based note, the cucumbers wouldn’t be peeled and the onions would be red near me. 😂
NotGoodISwear@reddit
Also properly slivered
RUKiddingMeReddit@reddit
Best salads I've ever had were at pizza joints. Shout out to Loui's in Hazel Park, MI.
schmosef@reddit
At least they peeled the cucumbers!
Vallkyrie@reddit
Would
MsTLontheDL@reddit
I love a good salad with delicious pizza but, I always pass on the quintessential pizza place salad!!!
WasabiZone13@reddit
🙄
growinwithweeds@reddit
Reminds me of the salads I ate in Guatemala.
LionsRoar313@reddit
You should try Loui's in Hazel Park, MI. They're known for their awesome salad( and Detroit style pizza)
https://share.google/FQFLnXhyb7TlGvl4Y
thedoomloop@reddit
Crunchy anemic water