The quintessential pizza place salad

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UsagiGurl@reddit

The sad plate your diabetic friend pictures when someone says “let’s just get pizza”.

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Tjonke@reddit

This is what you get here in Sweden: https://dbtdq1h5evc4p.cloudfront.net/images/origin/large_16e37404-fda0-44ba-b890-830784e7397d-1800-1202-0-106-1800-1308-2.25_f21e10e6fa.jpg

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Tjonke@reddit

https://www.wildnordickitchen.com/traditional-swedish-pizza-salad-recipe-pizzasallad/

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whatsthew3rd@reddit

Sooo that's definitely slaw and it is still better than the slop in this post.

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damagecontrolparty@reddit

That sounds good. My family has always made coleslaw with a vinegar dressing instead of the creamy kind.

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Tjonke@reddit

Yeah, we always get a small container wtih the pizza delivery. Good to eat on it's own or to put ontop of the pizza. But then again Sweden is known for it's insane pizzas

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turkeyvulturebreast@reddit

It’s like they cut it up with a hammer.

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SunOnTheInside@reddit

Is it weird that I kinda like that shit though? Crunchy

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Party_Building1898@reddit

Well yeah I like the crunchy but not a chunk like that.

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Ok_Oven_7901@reddit

it's missing the half pound of shredded cheese!

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CactusBoyScout@reddit

The Family Guy bit about pizza place salads was so accurate.

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Brodiggitty@reddit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgJUbmGDc6k

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notoriousbsr@reddit

Hats off to you, I've somehow missed this one and it made my day

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CassianCasius@reddit

The first 10 seasons or so of family guy were pretty funny. It went downhill pretty quick once seth stop being involved in the writing after season 10

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LzrdKng2112@reddit

Lol 10. It stopped being funny by like season 5

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QueezyF@reddit

Modern Family Guy is pretty hit or miss, but there’s still some jokes in there that are pretty goddamn funny.

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danavenkman@reddit

The whole olive! You’re gonna wanna know you’ve got an olive in your mouth.

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CactusBoyScout@reddit

I think of that line every time I eat an entire olive straight from the jar.

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TuvixWillNotBeMissed@reddit

It sucks because pitting them yourself is time consuming, but if you ones that have had them removed they're so much worse.

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Shivvy128@reddit

Honestly im so lazy about it I just shove the whole olive in my mouth, chew the good stuff off and spit out the pit into a different bowl. I ain't wasting my time

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enadiz_reccos@reddit

Same with pistachios

Side note: "shelled" feels similar to "inflammable"

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estistudent@reddit

So extremely accurate, yet every time I see one of these salads I will destroy an entire family sized serving if left unattended.

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daizles@reddit

With that super vinegary Italian dressing? Yep I can take a whole catering size salad down easily.

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daizles@reddit

Love Ken's! I drive past the factory often

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Soooo good and the best one for DIY-ing this kind of salad at home is the Girard’s Italian dressing. If it’s available where you are it is absolutely delicious. I drizzle so much of it over my ugly homemade Italian salads.

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daizles@reddit

Ooh, good looking out, friend

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crinkledcu91@reddit

Or that runny restraunt style ranch, and then one time someone accidentally uses Bleu cheese instead and you freak out for like 10 seconds, but then end up eating it anyway lol

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Ayy_lmao_8@reddit

Well, we got these hot peppers, but you can’t really eat ‘em.

No problem! Dump ‘em all in!

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pixelprophet@reddit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgJUbmGDc6k

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CityBoiNC@reddit

So spot on

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scorpions411@reddit

Put it in a lasagne tray and carry it on these pizzas so it stays nice and warm !

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WaltsNJD@reddit

Even the hard to eat white part? It's what the people want!

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ImmaculateWeiss@reddit

Cut the tomato into thirds, it should be big enough to pretend you have red teeth

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IndiscriminateWaster@reddit

“Hello, every pizza place!”

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mrtee915963@reddit

And a carrot, one big slice down the side.

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sirnutzaIot@reddit

And put it on top of the pizza so it’s nice and hot when it gets there

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sarduchi@reddit

Naw man, where's the single massive pickled pepper?

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TeTrodoToxin4@reddit

Where is the third of a carrot, cut long way.

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Raxsus@reddit (OP)

I'm kinda mad they forgot the pepper

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Emergency_Battle5446@reddit

Either they forgot or they were out of them. There's usually a tad bit more lettuce in the salad, too, so they're definitely skimping out on that. How much did this salad cost you? 🥴

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markender@reddit

Where's the giant whole pitted canned black olives??????

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Elliethesmolcat@reddit

Did they even warm it?

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Emergency_Battle5446@reddit

I get your confusion, but olives are on a restaurant-by-restaurant basis. Not all pizza places include olives in their standard/house salads, whole or otherwise, unless a customer specifically requests olives be added to their salad order (whole or otherwise).

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Distinct_Order9043@reddit

Right?! The best part!!!

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So-Called_Lunatic@reddit

Or whole slice of cheese, and rolled up slice of ham?

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bigbadbreezy@reddit

Some of us wanr to bite into that bad boy and have it spray into my, I mean our, mouth.

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TuvixWillNotBeMissed@reddit

I do love Lady and the Tramping some fat juicy hot peppers.

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32MPH@reddit

Yup, add a peperoncini or two and that's exactly what I imagine when I think of the pizza salads lol

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Rakketytam2000@reddit

Y’know, I’d still mess that salad up.

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letstalkaboutfeels@reddit

likely refreshing.

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Substantial-Ad-6774@reddit

Gross

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anger_leaf@reddit

r/familyguy

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johnedn@reddit

There is a pizza place in my hometown (a small town) that is run by my one friends family, specifically started by his grandparents, and his grandma makes all the dressing herself with spices and stuff from her garden at home, and she is a sweet old Italian lady.

There isn't a single thing on the menu at that place that isnt absolute top tier, and Everytime I'm back home I get pizza and a salad from there, eat the salad, dip my pizza in the dressing. It is 10/10 the best pizza and pizza place salad I have ever had and I doubt it will ever be topped.

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ruiner8850@reddit

Yeah, there are a few pizza places around where I live that have incredible salads. They are nothing like the "typical pizza place salads" that everyone talks about. Don't get me wrong, there are places that have salads like that as well, but I have access to some damn good ones.

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rivenshadowyx@reddit

nice yum bowl!

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LostChoss@reddit

At Jerusalem Cafe in KC their greek side salad comes with one of everything. 1 cucumber slice, 1 olive, 1 feta, 1 tomato wedge.

Not even joking. Next time I go I'll have to take a Pic for this sub

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saltntequila@reddit

Just slowly eat the raw onion piece whole and maintain eye contact with one of the staff.

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Lagunamountaindude@reddit

Looking for a salad at a pizza joint is just silly

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johnedn@reddit

Usually yes, I made another comment Abt a pizza shop in my hometown where a sweet old Italian lady who is my friends grandma makes the dressing with ingredients from her garden at home, it's beyond peak

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Lagunamountaindude@reddit

I would say that doesn’t fall under pizza joint

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johnedn@reddit

Why not?

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TheNewYellowZealot@reddit

Can’t be. Doesn’t have a wedge of tomato or a giant shaving of carrot.

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Swift12592_Path@reddit

That onion to cucumber ratio looking suspicious but I’d still smash it no cap 😂

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Blurstingwithemotion@reddit

Not seeing the unpitted olives😅

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pregnantandsober@reddit

Or sliced black olives, the exact ones they use for pizza toppings.

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Blurstingwithemotion@reddit

That depends on the place some make heat pizza ans shit salads and some do both😅

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zoey_the_trans_rat@reddit

Little bit of this little bit of that ah salad

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rolyat_13@reddit

My very first job was pizza counter and this was the first recipe I learned 🤣🤣

I literally remember being told the secret formula : lettuce, two tomatoes olives onions cucumber dressing of choice voila

gif

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WritingTheRongs@reddit

my mouth is watering

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JuanThiccLumpia@reddit

The quintessential pizza place “warm” salad. They always deliver it on top of the pizza box.

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Nate46@reddit

literally the best pizza place salad i ever had was at cici's pizza buffet. Every time, that stuff is crisp, fresh and delicious. Even me as a little kid likes it.

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Futt_Buckman@reddit

Idk where you are or maybe pizza where I am is a competitive business but they're salads are always bomb

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Raxsus@reddit (OP)

Super small town with nothing going for it right now. That's slowly changing, but the food hasn't caught up yet.

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LoFiHigh5@reddit

Someone cue the Family Guy “every pizza place”

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OhWhyNotMarie@reddit

It’s all going in our heads right now.

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Raxsus@reddit (OP)

I feel l8ke that's the only reason this post is doing numbers.

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notlikethemermaid90@reddit

Greek place I presume

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Raxsus@reddit (OP)

Its technically Italian, but its owned by a Greek family

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catalit@reddit

I literally come home with the Greek salad from the local pizza place and rechop everything myself before mixing it back up. Why won’t they cut stuff up?!?!

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Ig00@reddit

Missing the oregano. Why oregano, pizza places? WHY???

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Raxsus@reddit (OP)

The oregano was in the dressing

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Nightbird88@reddit

In all fairness you ordered it knowing full well.

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Raxsus@reddit (OP)

It came with my wifes meal, because she didn't want pizza. This is the first time we've been here

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Ill-Proof-1514@reddit

Hey don’t go dissing on it those are peak with a sub sandwich

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daily-reporter@reddit

The dressing cup filled and placed in the bowl with unwashed hands? Hell yea

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StLMindyF@reddit

You could choke a horse with that cucumber

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Hour_Value_3770@reddit

This genuinely made me lol

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But_like_whytho@reddit

Heaven forbid a horse have hobbies

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Lil_Shorto@reddit

That's what she said!

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SpookySpace@reddit

The absolute size if that cucumber.

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pocketMagician@reddit

Love the chipped bowl, shows the place is not only hiring untrained cooks, but they're cheap too. Im sure the health inspector loves them.

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Raxsus@reddit (OP)

The sad thing is that this is the alleged best place in my wife's hometown. The pizza was super shit too

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MarsScully@reddit

I’m sure that lettuce is super clean

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Both_Lychee_1708@reddit

Do you have any idea how long they had to look for those salad scraps? What bins they had to scrape? Show some respect.

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Oberndorferin@reddit

Maybe in America. I'm pretty much satisfied with my Sicilian Friend down the street here in Germany.

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Devanyani@reddit

Most restaurants near me are downright hostile towards people who eat vegetables. "Salads" like this, or the vegetarian burritos with just iceberg and shredded carrot.

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Vizjun@reddit

That ain't no antipasto salad. Antipasto is teh shit and doesn't involve cucumbers

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EviltwinEdgelord@reddit

HELLO? EVERY PIZZA PLACE!

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Scootersockz@reddit

Better than the salad place pizza

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Bec_@reddit

They hate chopping anything

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Pitiful_Palpitation9@reddit

Where are the pepperoncini?

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stanley_leverlock@reddit

My friends and I ordered a couple of pizzas and an antipasto plate at a hole in the wall Ledo one time. At the end of the order I asked for a house salad and she angrily barked at me that asking for a salad made no sense because because the antipasto plate had lettuce in it. We were all like wtf was that about. When the antipasto plate came it was just a pile of iceberg lettuce with a few handfuls of pepperoni and ham on top.

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