Not really though. I’ve not worked in a factory or warehouse before. But if I was to start tomorrow in one and I found the “banter” offensive then I could complain and it would be taken seriously. You’re just relying on people not complaining which is great if they don’t but what about when someone does? Then you end up losing your job.

You need to know everyone in the room very well and know that none of them will be offended by your “banter” for it to be risk free.

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catfordbeerclub@reddit

I'm not disagreeing with you. I happen to find banter pretty tiresome. But I've worked at places where complaining about it would have made no difference. The worst was an office based job in a sales company. The owner of the company loved banter and was brutal with it.

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SteamerTheBeemer@reddit

I’m not sure of the process but if you ended up leaving that job because of the “banter” as it wasn’t dealt with appropriately, then you would have a case at an employee tribunal.

Basically the only reason it wasn’t dealt with or wouldn’t have been dealt with more seriously at your company is the size. But you’d still have certain rights.

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I'm not disputing that retailers rake advantage of people with zero hour contracts and abusive practices. Or that the kind of "banter" that was acceptable twenty years ago is unacceptable today.

But your comment that working in argos is not a "real job" is a nasty thing to say. It's great that you've had a good education and got a presumably white collar career, but those opportunities aren't available to everyone. Some people have a long term career of working in argos, or tesco and probably don't appreciate you saying that they haven't got a "real job" just because you did some part time work there as a student and bettered yourself.

If it wasn't for people doing blue collar or minimum wage jobs, society would grind to a halt, as evidenced by the Birmingham refuse collectors' strike.

Just think next time you speak. I expect that, deep down, you know I'm right, even if you're too embarrassed to admit it on reddit.

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SteamerTheBeemer@reddit

I think you might mean you have “no regrets” working for them. Or maybe you “hold no ill feelings towards them” as in you “don’t feel bitter about it”.

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There was a new guy at my work, one of the first things he said to me (a woman) was when he interjected me and my colleague joking about finishing early: “wow, I’ve never wanted to punch a woman until now”

It came out of nowhere, we weren’t even talking to him and I just stared at him. He clearly knew his idea of a joke had not landed because he got very awkward very quickly.

I said to him “I don’t know you like that to even think that a joke about you punching me would be funny”

I don’t know what went through his head in that moment to say that but he definitely said it the wrong person because I am the type to call you out in front of people and I will make you squirm.

I reported him straight away because what the fuck?

If you’re comfortable saying that to a group of women you’ve only just met, what else are you saying? What are you saying online? Yes, it is that deep.

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AinmSuimiuil@reddit

New guy under me atm and he's never worked in an office before - he's been here two weeks and coming out with comments about "they/thems", trying to talk politics, telling me stories that make him look like an arse, and so on. I'm pretty easy going but its like.. you're just new here, you don't know anything yet, so why on earth are you not self censoring?

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bornfromanegg@reddit

If you’re his manager, you should have a word and explain to him what is acceptable in an office. If he’s not worked in one before, maybe he just doesn’t know. Stop him before he gets himself in trouble.

You only have to do it once.

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AinmSuimiuil@reddit

Yeah he's only started so I've catchups planned from next week, will be tackling this then and laying out what I expect in terms of professionalism and conduct in the office. Not a bad lad and he's keen enough so hopefully he can rein it in.

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Xicsukin@reddit

At work nobody is your friend, treat everyone like a stranger and keep to yourself. It's only worth talking like that after it's been a few years and you've become part of the woodwork.

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AinmSuimiuil@reddit

Yeah, I don't mind swearing much tbh so on its own its not a huge deal so long as you don't do it in front of management or the client.

It's just bonkers to me to come in like this in your first weeks. Today I had to actually stop him speaking to tell him a certain phrase is a hard no and not to say it again.

I like these suggestions, from both of you.

But your first one is basically banter and saying "I like this game, keep em coming". Which is not what OP wants in this situation. I'd go with one of the others.

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To be fair, it's probably not wrong...

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DenseCall6626@reddit

I used " awww, what does it want to be when it grows up?"

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suspicious-donut88@reddit

Same happened to me in the park. I laughed and said I'd seen bigger dicks changing nappies. He told me to fuck off and stormed off in a huff.

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DisMyLik18thAccount@reddit

This is confusing to me as I genuinely thought guys who did that were into some kinda humiliation kink, I'd have thought they'd take us making fun of them as evidence they'd succeeded in upsetting us

I Did try something similar once though and was pleasantly surprised when it worked, suprised but confused

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Jedwardo93@reddit

The audacity to be the annoyed one after just flashing someone 😂

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Azyall@reddit

"You've got a nerve, flashing that! My husband's is bigger!"

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feetflatontheground@reddit

Or

"You've got a nerve to be flashing that! Mine's bigger!"

😒 was that meant to be an attempt at humour?

PassiveTheme@reddit

As others have said, that's a Scottish thing. Yanks don't call it primary school, so why would they say "primary 3"? They call them grades.

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_FLAN_@reddit

To be fair while anyone trying to use those "responses" in reality would be very cringey, in Scotland we do say Primary 3.

redem@reddit

Also used in Northern Ireland.

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DelosHR@reddit

Pee Fwee so it is

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txteva@reddit

It's not English, we'd say "Year 3".

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doctorace@reddit

As an American, I have no idea (I’ve lived here for 9 years)

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peppermint_aero@reddit

"Mate, got a sec? Listen, I know starting in a new place can be tricky. Two or three times you've said stuff to me (and other people, if he has) that didn't feel quite right. We try to build each other up here, not put each other down."

Something like that. In private.

Give him a chance to apologise and change his behaviour.

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Eoin_McLove@reddit

No, no. This is far too mature. You aren’t getting it.

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peppermint_aero@reddit

I got it just fine, thanks

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He just needs taking to one side for a 'talk'.

The “roasting” could just be his way of finding something to say when he doesn’t have anything else to bring up, a way to inject himself into the conversation.

All good with me big lad. Thanks for coming clean.

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lorl3ss@reddit

"Elementary my dear Watson"

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Vic_Serotonin@reddit

Well done.

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Doodlebottom@reddit

Ask him to not include you in all future remarks aimed at joking around or humour or sarcasm or whatever it is. Tell him you would appreciate it if he would just agree to leaving you out of these types of things. That’s all. Don’t make it a big deal. He might not know how he presents himself.

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Causticburner@reddit

Lift him up like a wee kid, hands under his armpits, spin him round, place him very carefully on the ground. Huge big smile for the whole interaction.

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Hamsternoir@reddit

We had some old boy, ex navy, close to retirement and really new a thing or two. But he was quiet, the new starter was a bit similar to OPs muppet and thought it was just some dumb old bloke who didn't say much.

When there was an attempt at taking the piss the old boy would just ask him to explain the joke and really break down why he thought it was funny. Arse clenchingly excruciating to watch but the kid did finally learn.

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hxmz-z@reddit

just walk up him and ask him what is he doing and tell him to not do it again. say it’s the first and last time you’re going to address it

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houseofn1njas@reddit

Just pull him aside and tell him it's not funny and it's not building the rapport/ relationship he's expecting. In fact, "other" people might find it offensive and report him to HR so he needs to be careful. Hopefully, that straddles firmness with an element of caring for his well being/ career also.

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Green-Froyo-7533@reddit

Can you whistle?

notouttolunch@reddit

See above.

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SpaceCatSociety@reddit

I disagree. I don’t think my viewpoint is limited, quite the opposite. This has been a difficult process but i have learnt a lot.

Had the same in my last work place.

Some people try to get up the ladder by putting people down

They are toxic and will turn the workplace into a divisive mess.

Sooner or later he will have a small following and will creat division in the workplace.

I'd report him immediately to nip any future aggregation.

No one should have to put up with work place bullying, which is what this is

Don't stand for it, this weezle needs to learn how to integrate into the work place without being his toxic bullshit.

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andycprints@reddit

get a notice board and write a list of his 'roasts' for everyone to see, maybe even add a scoring system

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Soggywallet94@reddit

This happened to me a while ago. I just did one of those nose breath laughs, gave the guy a thumbs up and he didn't try again.

New-Process-52@reddit

Invite him to the rugby club

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New-Process-52@reddit

Tell him

You need some help with your jokes mate

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Acceptable_Treat_101@reddit

I’d have a quiet word with him keep it light, set the tone, and he’ll likely adjust fast once he knows its not landing.

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"Just incase noone ever told you ..just because you happen to be small doesn't mean you need to be small minded, so what's everyone doing at the weekend?"

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Mysterious-Stay-3393@reddit

Tell him how you feel. Mano to Mano, Woman to Woman , Them to They.

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Vivid-Combination-74@reddit

You’re just going to have to emasculate him once to draw a line under it. He deserves it.

mdmnl@reddit

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ThereIWasDigging@reddit

Quiet word, possibly along the lines of 'shut the fuck up cunt... '

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razzlerm@reddit

You could try a "what do you mean/I don't get the joke, can you explain it?" reaction to his next joke. Say it completely straight faced and calmly. Also keep pushing past his initial response of "you know what I mean" with more "I don't understand what you're getting at, can you explain why you said that?"

paolog@reddit

It's the work equivalent of a teacher's "Is something funny? Would you like to share your joke with the class?"

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EPorteous@reddit

I taught my son this last week.

When they say it was a joke, ask them directly in front of everyone, what the funny part is, or what the punch line is.

They always look like dicks hahs

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Ok_Analyst_5640@reddit

Someone I used to work with did this to people, would get them explaining the joke. It absolutely boiled their piss 😆

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CongealedBeanKingdom@reddit

I work with teens. This approach is extremely effective

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pm-me-animal-facts@reddit

I do this as a teacher in a secondary school all the time. Ask them why they’ve said that and the response is almost always “it was just a joke”.

I respond by saying, I like jokes but I don’t understand which part is funny. Works incredibly well to disarm them.

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Akash_nu@reddit

Technique! 👆🏼

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Pockysocks@reddit

ask him to explain the 'joke'

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saoirsedonciaran@reddit

Feels like more of an insecurity on his part, but don't overthink it. Some people use insults like this as a way to show you that they actually like you and want to be your friend, but it's maybe not landing.

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Wise-Strawberry9259@reddit

He sounds like my sausage dog when he’s around bigger dogs.

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ShootingStarYe@reddit

Could he be hitting on you?

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Constant_Front2345@reddit

Nip it in the bud mate. "This is the 4th time you've made that joke and no one has laughed once, AT LEAST try something new."

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Necessary-Trash-8828@reddit

One of the more savage ones I’ve heard which is pretty safe for most scenarios is…

“This is why people talk about you behind your back”

Not rude or aggressive.. but will certainly get them worried about themselves and people not liking him etc.

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jpthelad@reddit

As a bigger guy myself, If someone gets on my nerves repeatedly, I just like to subtly remind them that I am indeed much bigger than them lol Not a threat but a gentle reminder that if i wanted i could do whatever I wanted to them and they couldnt do shit about it 🤣

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gijoe438@reddit

"Do I need to become your mum's new boyfriend just so I can spend an evening teaching you how tell a joke?"

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helpmaboabjings@reddit

I'm not on the tools FYI but as a bloke, i'd just leave him hanging unless he something out of order

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Brickie78@reddit

I'm not on the tools FYI but

Nah, overcorrection imo. This is "trying to start a fight" language and will make OP seem like they're overcompensating

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

Repurpose an old Billy Connolly punchline but add it on:

You may find that being this annoying works for you, but its not appropriate, it's not clever, it won't make people like you, and I hope that when you get home, Snow White kicks your arse"

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thecatsothermother@reddit

Was goig to say this. Find all the "small person" jokes you can. "Do you need a juice box?" "Ask your Mum/Dad if you caninsert activity here "Okay, Son?" Hey there, midget/small stuff".

Mock-pat him on the head.

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VariousBeat9169@reddit

Take him to one side and give him some friendly advice.

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NoPhilosopher6111@reddit

You’ve gotta give it back my man. I’ve been on the tools my whole life and taking the high road doesn’t work. If he thinks he can use you as a punching bag to get laughs from thw other lads he will.

Tell him straight, your banters terrible lad. I don’t think it’s funny and if it doesn’t start getting funny soon me and you are going to fall out.

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benjaminiscariot@reddit

beat him up

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"Why does this bother you so much?" - Reframes their attack as insecurity

"I moved on weeks ago" - Shows they're stuck while you're past it

Don't have a "quiet".

I would suggest you get him to explain exactly what he means by saying that....then if he says it's a joke. ..tell him that you are not finding it funny to be constantly insulted.

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RedManUK@reddit

Just do a really long yawn.

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Gingerbarkid@reddit

Call it out. Next time he does it ask if he's got a problem with you.

When he says he's just joking tell him you don't have that sort of relationship to have that sort of banter.

Make the situation awkward and roll with it.

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AfternoonAfraid2192@reddit

Is he a younger lad by any chance? Chances are he's trying his hardest to fit in by attempting to banter. We all know what it's like being the new guy at work, especially "on the tools" where banter can be especially brutal and especially if you're a young lad. He's likely just trying not to get himself torn to pieces 😂

He just needs to be told that this is not acceptable behaviour from someone new that doesn’t know his colleagues well enough to have playful banter and it is coming across as malicious behaviour and it needs to stop. This is something that should come from a boss.

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Mr_Bumcrest@reddit

I'd say, clearly and publicly, 'I don't appreciate your jokes. Please stop'.

Then you have made it clear your boundary, and then if he keeps pushing it you remain entirely in the right

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Sea-Wolf-5785@reddit

'Micropenis' is the word and it should hopefully land..

Unless he's some freak of nature; hung like a rhino somehow that's where all the size went, then it could backfire...

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What does ‘on the tools’ mean in this context?

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PaddedValls@reddit (OP)

A tradesman. A labourer. A worky.

Someone who uses, but isn't confined to using, hand tools to do their job.

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TheYorkshireGripper@reddit

Start calling him pencil neck, assert your dominance

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MattyLePew@reddit

I think it largely depends on your work environment. Personally, I work in an office and I’d just ignore it and let him ruin his image by himself.

Having worked on building sites for a few years a while back, I’d likely be more upfront about it and attempt to humiliate him to make him stop (I like the other suggestions people have shared).

"You been watching YouTube videos where they tell you to assert dominance by finding the biggest dude and facing them down? Easy line to sell to idiots online, how do you think that will go when there's a really big guy picking you up by your ears?".

"Banter without exchange and consent is bullying, knock it off or I'll escalate it to managment, if you're lucky"

Or glue his non work boots to the floor or similar stuff. You've got options 😉

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kipha01@reddit

I had to tell a new guy he doesn't know me well enough to make those type of jokes. He was doing it because I tolerated the banter on the same subjects from my long term co-workers, they had earned the right and he stupidly thought it was fair game. He soon shut up, because I apparently looked dead serious and said it in a calm 'not taking any shit' manner according to my coworkers.

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No_TsandCs@reddit

On the tools? Chin him then or go be quiet in a corner somewhere else

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EqualDeparture7@reddit

Every time he says something, ask him to repeat it, as if you didn't hear it. Give him a couple of attempts and then just give him a blank look like you don't understand.

Specialist-Cake-9919@reddit

Next time he does it just reply something along the lines of...

"shut up you dickhead, you're making yourself look like a right cunt'

Should do the trick.

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Allydarvel@reddit

Are you still in your probation period little buddy? Fitting in is one aspect you'll be judged by. Just letting you know,..wink

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Vequihellin@reddit

I would nip it in the bud now before he gets himself into trouble. Either he'll roast the wrong person, or someone higher up will decide that his behaviour isn't what they want in their team and he'll fail his probation.

If you feel comfortable addressing it yourself, do, or ask your manager to say something if you think he won't pay attention.

I’d publicly dress him down a bit but just in front of your own team not like publicly on site in front of everyone.

Just be like look mate we’re not that team, it’s not going to land you any brownie points trying to rip on me. If you want to get some respect earn in with your work and actually become a solid team member who we like to have around yeah?

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Eoin_McLove@reddit

‘Are you trying to flirt or what?’

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Mental-Fudge9845@reddit

I would pull him to one side. Tell him you aren comfortable and if he continues you’ll get HR involved.

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Fredmcfredface@reddit

Say you don’t understand his jokes and get him to explain each one, every time.

Honestly just taking him aside one to one might help. It doesn’t even have to be nasty, just a

“Hey, I get it, new place and new people, but we don’t do that around here. If you want to fit in just join in with the conversation, here come sit next to me in the canteen”

The offering to sit next to you, even just once, helps make the conversation feel less like a dressing down and more of a helping hand. You lay down your “authority” by nipping it in the bud and he shuts tf up.

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Bose82@reddit

"Yeah, good one pal" usually works quite nicely

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CoffeeandaTwix@reddit

Speak to him quietly and let him know he is embarrassing himself with his attempts at humour. Don't do it in front of other people because he is probably a bit nervy and misjudging the situation and making a bit of a tit of himself. No need to humiliate him publicly yet.

hadawayandshite@reddit

As opposed to? Either snapping back at him creating more conflict and seeming deeply upset because you lost your temper

There is nothing wrong with having boundaries and telling people you’re not ok with something- you can advocate for yourself…especially if this has become a repeated thing

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WeeklyPermission239@reddit

That's the thing. In the workplace, it's much harder to strike that balance between "Back off mate, I'm not an easy target" and "I'm professional enough not to even bother with you" than it is in a social situation. Your suggested response leans too close to the latter.

You ever seen The Inbetweeners? You know the work experience episode in the garage where they're all bullying Will and his response is to pontificate, thus giving them even more material? Yeah, that.

Probably best to let the guy's manager handle it - this kind of thing is what they're paid for

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hadawayandshite@reddit

Fair enough manager/HR is what meant.

I’m not in the trades myself (teacher) but have family who have been- my dad did it most of his career and would probably have dealt with it as ‘knock it the fuck off-don’t make me repeat it again’ (80s builder)

My nephew had it the other way, as a newbie someone kept needling him so he bit back and made fun of the bloke- who didn’t take it kindly, someone else stepped in to tell him to knock it off…then the older bloke reported him to HR for aggression and it became a whole thing where HR was fully involved and shifts got changed etc etc

My experience at work and then their experiences lead my to my solutions

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Illustrious-Milk6518@reddit

Oh yikes this seems pretty mean to a guy that clearly has social issues

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hadawayandshite@reddit

Depends how much he’s needling the guy and what he’s been saying-if it has become a repeated thing to the point that he’s come to reddit to ask for advice

fiveofspades94@reddit

Insecure people often do this. It's one of the nastier side effects of low self esteem.

"Did that make you feel better?"

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Fruitpicker15@reddit

My brother gets this sometimes from new lads on site and he says you have to shut it down straight away because they're sizing you up to see if they can push you around.

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elgrn1@reddit

Ask questions.

"What does that mean?"

"I don't get it, can you explain?"

"How is it a joke?"

And then wait out the silence, ideally with direct eye contact.

He will either flounder (don't assist unless its to ask more questions that highlight the inappropriateness or unprofessionalism of his behaviour), try to explain (which will make the situation worse so leave him to it), or complain you're being difficult (in which case you ask more questions wondering what is difficult about you asking what he means, if its funny surely everyone should get the joke so why can't he explain, etc).

This is the only time when playing dumb allows you to make a teachable moment out of a situation. You haven't lectured him, unless there's a need to at the end to make your point, so he can't even complain about you because then he would need to explain what he said and why he thought it was acceptable.

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“Let’s lock the new guy in a cupboard with me so he can witness me shit myself”

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'where's your tool?'

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sleepyprojectionist@reddit

Is this the workplace equivalent of going to prison and decking the biggest guy you can on the first day so that everyone knows not to mess with you?

He’s probably insecure about fitting in.

For me everyone gets the benefit of doubt. I tend not to ascribe to malice what can instead be explained by stupidity.

Take him aside privately and have a word.

If he then continues to be a bellend then you can do the “do you mind explaining that?” trick.

If that doesn’t work then perhaps it becomes a HR issue.

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Old_Quit_851@reddit

“I see what you did there”

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bsnimunf@reddit

Next time he does it allow for the silence then say "his name" lean in close and make physical contact by touching his elbow or something and saying "how long are you going to keep this up" then say nothing else but just maintain eye contact thought the silence.

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Evening_Procedure216@reddit

Give him a chance. One chance. Take him aside and tell him. Nothing wrong with that. Do it nicely and politely and just say that you don’t know what his motivations are for what he does, but that he’s putting everyone’s back up, including your own and that it’s way too aggressive. That’s all you need to say. Tell him you are doing him a favour by letting him know. Then he can go away and consider his behaviour.

If it doesn’t change, then escalate it. Good luck. He’s probably trying to make friends, but is really going about it the wrong way. Nip it in the bud.

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SallyJaneCooper@reddit

Unless you are the manager/admin/boss never have a private conversation of this nature. It usually causes the bully to claim they're being bullied. Nobody runs to file an HR harassment claim faster than a bully who's been butt hurt.

Frankly, since this is happening in public spaces, I'm disappointed that a higher level staff person hasn't addressed it.

Also the number of people with autism spectrum protection these days is increasing exponentially. If he's one of them, and this sort of behaviour lacking in social awareness is symptomatic, he will be protected whilst the actual victim of his "jokes" (OP) is disciplined.

77HighOnYou@reddit

lol pipe down on repeat would probably get the message across pretty quick tbf

but yeah that might turn it into more of a thing than it needs to be. feels like one of those where a quick quiet mate it’s not really landing would sort it faster than dragging it out in front of everyone

right now he just sounds like he’s trying too hard and not reading the room at all 😅

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Helpful_Western7298@reddit

ALWAYS take it to the manager or supervisor.

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th3gw4@reddit

Don’t do it publicly, quietly to one side ask him if he needs some help fitting in, tell him the jokes are making him look a bit awkward

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summerloco@reddit

Just say his little man syndrome is coming out and it’s not a good look for someone new

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BillyJoeDubuluw@reddit

Depending how ruthless the atmosphere in your place of work is I would honestly come out with something like “put your dick back in your pencil case and stop reaching will you mate?”… but in all seriousness, if it’s not that kind of environment I would genuinely consider flagging it up with the appropriate people…

Pause whilst looking at him and calmly say, "can you just repeat that." Takes all the power out of it for him, he's wants the emotional reaction.

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Eckmatarum@reddit

A quiet word about it is probably best.

A bit of reassurance for him too, let him know you didn't take offence but the "jokes" aren't welcome and he needs to stop.

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CarDry6754@reddit

Capital_Shift871@reddit

I’d give it a bit more time ignoring it, but if it keeps going, just pull him aside and say it’s not landing....

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spindledick@reddit

Bring a pair of binoculars. Next time he tries to make fun of you, lift your binoculars out and look into the distance like your trying to find something. He'll question you at which point you say:

"Don't worry, it's okay, I'm just looking for your joke to see if it's going to land... Oh? Ooh! There it is, found it, oh, oh aww, it's fizzled out. Never mind, maybe next time eh?"

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This is passive-aggressive behaviour born from insecurity and possibly status focused. These types of people push boundaries and will not stop, until they are confronted. They may even escalate.

First have a quiet word, tell them it is unacceptable behaviour, and you are not comfortable with it. If it continues then escalate to HR or their boss.

Do any of the others make similar jokes or are they totally out of the blue?

My first thought was that he obviously sees you as some kind of threat somehow. Also, it feels like he's following crappy advice similar to the whole 'fight the biggest person in prison' bollocks.

In my opinion, you have three routes you can go down depending on whether you'd want to write off ever having a relationship with him.

First one, just ruin him when he says something. Even just saying "have you got a problem" in front of everyone will probably shut him up.

Second one, which I'd personally do, is to pull him to one side and ask him what's going on/telling him to stop. But if you do this I'd recommend telling someone you know first so they can listen in and be a witness if he doesnt take kindly to it and makes an accusation.

Finally, just ignore it. Eventually he'll get the memo. Not sure how long it has been going on for but it's unlikely to go on forever if he's not getting anything out of it (unless what he's getting is an ego boost for griefing a big lad, which as a short lad myself I think could be possible).

Hope it gets resolved soon mate. Nothing worse than having a situation like that looming over you at work and had a similar situation with a older lady when I was a new prison officer. She always griefed me and spoke to me like shit for not being experienced. What worked for me was speaking to her. That seemed to gain her respect and let her know I wasnt going to stand for it.

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thereisalwaysrescue@reddit

“I’m sorry I don’t understand, can you explain?”

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Urbanyeti0@reddit

Send them an email “I note you’ve been making a number of comments at my and our colleagues expense, this doesn’t seem appropriate. Please knock it off and act professionally, we all deserve respect at work”

yolo_snail@reddit

Contrary to what other people are saying, why not just lean into it.

You might make a friend.

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