ULPT Request: My disabled Dad is getting bullied
Posted by olalilalo@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 97 comments
I don't really know what I'm looking for here. But I'm pretty distressed at a situation I find my dad in.
He has Multiple Sclerosis and can't walk or defend himself. He's fairly frail.
Recently he's had some work done on his back yard that involved replacing an old rotting fence with a new one. His neighbour had fastened a gate to the rotting wood, which was carefully removed and then placed back in its original position by the workmen. Fastened securely, with no compromise to its function
[We had notified the neighbour's girlfriend about this work being done prior also. All clear. It wasn't any kind of sudden unannounced works or messing with their stuff. All works were completed in 1 day.]
The neighbour was apparently furious about this, he let himself into my dad's house [opened the side gate and strolled in through the back door], shoved my dad over and yelled in his face before leaving. Unfortunately we didn't have cameras set up to give proof of this assault to the police.
I come home to my dad basically holding himself back from sobbing. Naturally I wanted to go and beat seven shades out of this neighbour, but I kept my composure.
Ever since then, this neighbour has been doing super petty acts of bullying towards my dad. He'll throw food over the fence, mess with things, and generally just try his hardest to be complete shithead.
What should I do? Every time I see the guy I want to kick his teeth in. He's bullying a disabled guy who can't fight back! It's horrible..
What would you do?
elfbeans@reddit
How old is your dad? Look into charging the neighbor with Elder Abuse
BigBoyBoulevard6@reddit
Honestly, go to his house while his gf/family is there, and loudly ask him why he is bullying your disabled dad. He will most likely bluster or lie and pretend he isn't, at which point just stand strong and reafirm that your dad has absolutely no reason to lie about this.
If he's actually proud of what he's doing and doesn't try to deny it, at least you know where you stand with this dude. Nothing legal will make him stop, and he is probably just smart enough to avoid leaving evidence. You will have to make sure he knows it isn't worth the trouble anymore, how you decide to do that is upto you.
Sharkhous@reddit
This, but not loudly. Be calm and show that you are the reasonable rational one.
Record it
BigBoyBoulevard6@reddit
The point is to humiliate him in front of his family/ gf who, hopefully, are not aware of what is happening. Loudly doesn't mean rudely, it just means make sure everyone can hear what you are calling him out for.
wolfwinner@reddit
That's ethical. An unethical response would be to wait until he's alone and make sure there are no cameras around and do something to him.
hwilliams1970@reddit
Yeah Buddy!!! I got a couple a friends who are dying to meet this sack of sh**. Friends that come with all necessary supplies to inflict lost of pain and suffering.
allgone79@reddit
Loud is rude. I cannot believe an adult would believe otherwise.
BatDadfromBaghdad@reddit
Lmao first day in reality, coward?
Neither-Ad-9068@reddit
Oh they know how he acts
Iolair_the_Unworthy@reddit
Yup. Based on his behaviour towards a disabled person, it's likely that he's either abusive or just surrounds himself with shitty people. You can't not see when someone is like this.
AlmightyGod420@reddit
To add to this, make sure you are in a one party consent state if you are recording in or at his house. Otherwise make sure it’s done on the sidewalk where it’s legal due to no expectation of privacy in public.
Actual-Recipe7060@reddit
Just put up a big sign in your yard pointing to his house with the print "bullies my disabled dad"
RoyskiPoyski@reddit
Might be humiliating for his dad too though.
BigBoyBoulevard6@reddit
More humiliating than letting this tool push him around?
RoyskiPoyski@reddit
Than dealing with it less publicly.
AceMcNickle@reddit
I
Optimal_Shirt6637@reddit
Wear a discrete body cam from Amazon so you have proof for a police report
AffectionateMarch394@reddit
Also don't use the word bully. Assaulting a poor disabled old man, and breaking into his home (even if it wasn't locked) Use the big words that show the seriousness of it, and make him look even worse
hwilliams1970@reddit
Adult Services, like CPS for adults, old people, disabled people, anyone thats not under 18 and needs assistance.
hwilliams1970@reddit
Police DOCUMENTATION!!!!!? DOCUMENTATION!!!!!
hkbigdog@reddit
You ever see the scene in the beginning of get shorty? That.
Brumbygreen@reddit
Report him for disability hate crime. Could your dad go to hospital for pain he’s experienced following the assault, enabling him to get medical evidence or similar of the injuries he has sustained?
Kamiden@reddit
Subtly goad him into doing it again while you are home, then do your worst. With or without cameras route is up to you.
old_mans_ghost@reddit
If it wasn’t your gate why the hell would you put it back in?
olalilalo@reddit (OP)
The neighbour attached the gate... Shoddily, to our fence. We specifically didn't want to cause any bother, so we just re-attached it, actually more securely and with better function, than it was before..
SpecialNeedsDetectiv@reddit
Set up a hidden cam for future incidents. Gather evidence, Send to police. If thepolice fail after this point and you are not afraid of going public, put video evidence of this abuse on YT for world to see and the internet will seek its own version of street justice.
SpecialNeedsDetectiv@reddit
Also, a loyal pitbull is a good deterrent if your father can manage it.
Holden-McGroyn@reddit
Why the hell do we need to have video of a crime to get the police to give a fuck!
We didn't need video for all of eternity to convict someone of a crime. Its bullshit and just allowing more crime to occur while we attempt to get irrefutable proof!
Then the authorities act as if the video is the beginning of the problem and only then consider speaking to the crook. Then the DA doesn't prosecute anyway.
Vote and get rid of worthless DAs and then police might do their jobs instead of feeling like they are wasting their time.
Responsible_Dentist3@reddit
Username checks out
OCKWA@reddit
This is just ethical, but yes I support this
SpecialNeedsDetectiv@reddit
I only classify it unethical because only God knows what the internet is capable of when its users see someone unhinged tormenting a disabled person.
SlightRun8550@reddit
Get a cane corso or two
Easybros@reddit
knew someone who had a neighbor like that, one incident they snapped and slapped a woman. 15 years later they never behaved like that again BECAUSE they know there is a police report, so they are super thin ice. Also if you put up a camera he'll feel the burn of having caused that camera to be in place for the rest of his life. So he'll have 1,000,000 reminders of his bad behavior.
If you can be stoic and calm, then he is the child. You and your dad are the adults. The guy knows another mishap and he's sittiing jail in borrowed city-supplied underwear.
grafittibob@reddit
Shoot him in the dick.
Unbreakableq@reddit
The only real answer us for you to bully him back. I wish someone would put their hands on my 83 yro father.
Catch him off his property and let him know everything he does to your father, you are going to do to him. Then do it. Immediately.
jdthejerk@reddit
If someone were to ever lay their hands on my dad while he was still alive, they would have to face me. I have 8' deep holes already dug out in three states
Puceeffoc@reddit
Only 8' ? Seems a bit shallow doesnt it?
Shell-Fire@reddit
You don't want them too deep. They need to degrade/decompose.
jdthejerk@reddit
Eight feet is plenty if you pour in a bag of lime then add a gallon each of Liquid Plumbr and Red Devil drain opener. Six inche
coffeebugtravels@reddit
Add a deer or roadkill carcass on top so if cadaver dogs are working the area they'll be thrown off by the animal on top instead of the human at the bottom!
DigitalGurl@reddit
For the most part ethical… Anyone bullying a disable man is unhinged / mentally ill. I’m sure this isn’t your neighbors first time being abusive to someone or something that’s unable to defend themselves.
If possible ask a lawyer to do a background check on the guy. He may have priors which the police will want to know ASAP if he trespassed & physically roughed up your dad.
I would hesitate to confront him directly as this is the type to engage in secretive malicious revenge. Your goal is to keep your father and family safe.
Put up cameras. One obvious one and one’s well hidden. Put up no trespassing signs.
Contact your local police and go in and talk with an officer about the next steps to keeping your father safe & best ways to stop petty harassment from psychos. It may just be wait until he does something very illegal
Either this guy will get bored, a new target will show up, or he will escalate. When your father is home alone doors need to be kept locked. Is your father a member of a church or community center where people can come by and check on him?
Like any other time there is a bad person doing bad things document, document, document. Buy a new notebook. Use it only for this For everything this guy does document. Date, time, take photos. Every time he enters the yard document.
If he approaches your father with ill intent again call the police.
Shell-Fire@reddit
Mind blown. I have never thought to do a background check on the person.
pinkmarshmall0w@reddit
You don’t need cameras or a witness to report an assault. Asked to talk to police supervisor. Insist on filing a report.
destroyer_of_kings@reddit
Be a shame if his car spontaneously caught on fire.
OCKWA@reddit
For their father's safety and to prevent retaliation I advise against something noticeable initially. It has to be sneaky.
Shell-Fire@reddit
Like follow them to the store and put fish juice in his A/C air intake when he's in shopping? Don't do this at Walmart or Target. They have cameras.
bvrnt_cotton@reddit
I honestly didnt know his car didn't run on sugar officer I was trying to help him
cvgbhj@reddit
Potato in the exhaust pipe or sugar in the gas tank
Ok-Koala-key@reddit
Be a shame if he swallowed a bunch of his teeth.
e-Plebnista@reddit
there is a new term these days, swatting. read up.
ddawg4169@reddit
Ethical response. File the official report and also a restraining order against the neighbor. Setup cameras to monitor. The moment he crosses the line he goes to jail. That’s what I’d do.
RikkiLostMyNumber@reddit
I would tell you how to handle this, but I would be banned. You can DM me if you want. I'll tell you. Have your lawyer's number memorized and plenty of ready cash. A burner phone, too. That neighbor will never bother your dad again.
psiprez@reddit
Set up cameras all around outside. Like now.
And go make that police report. You don't need "proof". Then report every single thing. All the reports will build up to make a case. And if a big incident does occur (involving your dad or just this guy), the reports will be waiting.
ULPT: Anonymous calls to report he is dealing from his house. Drugs and prostitution.
Reasonable-Crab4291@reddit
Tell him you have his assault in camera if he ever disrespects your dad again you’ll prosecute. Then get cameras!
Didst_thou_Farteth@reddit
Fit cameras. Give the twat's address/ phone number to every telemarketer/ scammer/ cult that you can. Dump weedkiller onto his lawn (Be careful about the kids & animals though)
Camperthedog@reddit
Have you tried telling him “toughen up” or “you need thicker skin” ? Tell him to buck up lol
Witty_Candle_3448@reddit
Contact the Multiple Sclerosis foundation to ask for protection ideas and if legal assistance is available. Contact the disabled society and senior citizen services for assistance with cameras. Make a police report, put up cameras, post signs that say Smile You Are on Camera, lock the doors, notify the HOA, notify the NextDoor app, etc. Evil grows in the dark, expose this man's anger issues.
Anagoth9@reddit
You don't need video evidence to file a report. Nothing will happen on its own in that case but if things escalate then it establishes a pattern of behavior. If you don't file a report now then the next time this happens it will look like the first time.
cerote6239@reddit
This is a good point. Get a record going of dude's b* so when there is something with evidence it will be more convincing for the police to pursue it
MarleysGhost2024@reddit
This. Report everything to the police.
heretostartsomeshit@reddit
OMFG... play the disabled card! That's what it's there for.
Shame. Shame. Shame. Tell *everyone* in the neighbourhood. Tell his family. Tell anyone who will listen.
This guy is worthy of public contempt, and he shall have it.
The good news is, you've already won... you just don't know it yet.
There is simply no way to bully a disabled person and come out looking like anything but a bully and a coward.
In short, you don't need anything unethical. You have the moral high ground. Run with it.
7thAndGreenhill@reddit
Install the brightest flood lights you can find and point them at his windows. If you have the budget, get floodlights with cameras so you can catch him if he attempts to vandalize them.
Install Bird feeders in your yard but near his property line. Keep them filled.
gafgarrion@reddit
Honestly man, this might be one of those situation where you go with your instinct reaction. That’s all I’ll say.
quix0te@reddit
Wifi security cameras and secure locks. Have your dad ask for a TRO.
OddProgrammer1150@reddit
imbatatos@reddit
Let the local biker gang know the story and where he works / frequents. Camera for future incidents. Frozen Piss disks under his doors and in the windows.
I cannot imagine someone laying hands on my dad. I have never imagined it until now and it's got me riled up and he is not even disabled.
FeralCatWrangler@reddit
Mine is. I cant say what i would do. Id get banned.
cbelt3@reddit
Time to bring the rest of the neighborhood into the mix. Make sure they are helping to protect your dad. Village communities help each other, and bullies find themselves in difficulty as a result of their behavior.
And yes, even through you THINK you don’t have “evidence” you should ALWAYS call the police when there is a breaking and entering and an assault. Involve them NOW. There WILL be evidence of the neighbors entry and assault.
SalisburyWitch@reddit
Call the cops and have him trespassed because he got violent. Put up cameras and tell him if he ever steps foot on your dad’s property, you’ll have him arrested.
ordosays@reddit
It’s so blatant and shitty that ethical is the way. You have a ton of recourse here. Get some video evidence and cook the fucker.
AffectionateMarch394@reddit
Report it anyways. Even without proof. See if you can file a restraining order. It won't stop him, but it will help if he does it again.
Also get cameras for future issues. Put a combo lock on his backyard gates too.
Now, the unethical part.
First. Public shaming. Tell the noisiest, gossipy neighbour on your street. Make sure to lay it on thick too, go into how worried you are about your poor dad, how you can't believe someone would break into someone's house and beat up an old disabled man etc etc (it's all true, but lean into it). Let it spread like WILD fire. Isolate that neighbor from the neighborhood through a whisper campaign.
Everything else you can do, do it AFTER your dad has cameras, and locks on his fence gates etc.
mordecai98@reddit
Go to the police. Even without video, it's important/useful.
dubbins112@reddit
Durian fruit or something else that stinks to high hell. Hide it in his bushes or maybe a shed. Somewhere he won’t immediately notice.
Make a donation/ order books on scientology or Mormonism in his name and have it delivered to his address. They will NEVER leave him alone.
Also do what everyone else is saying about reporting and putting up cameras.
evo-1999@reddit
Unethical tip- I would look for some bikers in your area.. maybe go by the local Harley shop or biker bar- most of those guys, no matter what they are or are about, do not like folks taking advantage of or bullying disabled or other similar situations. You need a bully to fight a bully… get those guys on your team- buy them some beers or shots and tell them all about the neighborhood. Let them work it out for you.
Puceeffoc@reddit
Well it's reddit so VIOLENCE IS NEVER THE ANSWER. I've been banned too many times and have learned my lesson. I'll just tell a story about my dad. Once there was a kid bullying me and my dad went to the kid's house talked with his father. The kid left me alone after my dad talked with his dad. So maybe try doing that?
uncle_nightmare@reddit
I’d give him a proper bashing with a 2’ length of galvanized steel pipe. There’s no way I’d maintain composure.
Parking_Fan_7651@reddit
Use some 4” deck screws to screw his doors to their frames at night when he’s asleep. I suggest multiple.
MrPuzzleMan@reddit
My first suggestion would get me perma-banned, so lets go with my second
Find where he works and confront him at work, shaming him there in front of his coworkers. If he's retired, do as others said and confront him at home in front of his family.
This is bizarre enough that maybe the news would like it if your dad decided to sue for harassment? The shame would destroy him.
Humunguspickle@reddit
Why is there a gate on your dad’s fence for a neighbor in the first place? Step one no more gate.
SantosFurie89@reddit
Secure the property. Cctv, ring doorbell types front and rear, locked gates etc. Dad should feel safe in his home.
If the gate is placed on the fence without permission, remove it. It sounds like it's your dad's fence. Remove all neighbourly civility and kindness etc..
Simultaneously, you need to find a way to lay down the law. Because of his unacceptable actions this is now happening. This works with an authority figure, so could involve police or maybe if other respected pillars of community could accompany you (wink wink)
If anything happens again, you need to act immediately, and harshly. Eg food comes over the fence = rotting carcass on his roof.
I'd also try get some form of legal order against him entering vulnerable persons property at all. As if it escalates, you have the law on your side hopefully.
Sorry op, sounds horrible situation
classicgirl65@reddit
Notify adult protective services and the police once you have the videos.
Ruin him. Get a restraining/no contact order. Destroy his reputation in the area he lives. Take him to civil court for damages. Bonus points if you can get your local newspaper to cover it.
...and of course, piss disks. Put them everywhere. ;)
Good fortune to you and your dad.
AlmightyGod420@reddit
Recording over the fence will be illegal as the neighbor has an expectation of privacy in their yard. Even the shitty piece of shit neighbors. Best to position it so it faces the fence but not over so it can catch any trash being thrown over.
Actual-Recipe7060@reddit
I dont know where youre at, but in the US you can order pallets of postal services boxes to an address.
AlmightyGod420@reddit
And to add to this: it’s 100% free
AlmightyGod420@reddit
Get cameras and position them so it shows where stuff is being thrown over the fence. This becomes evidence.
Get camera for incidents house in common areas and a doorbell camera that shows all who enter.
Now go the unethical part: fuck his girlfriend and make her cum like she’s never cum before. Make sure he finds out
SinCityCane@reddit
I'd probably figure out a way to burn the neighbor's house down and frame it on his wife's gigolo.
shreibvehla@reddit
Punch & Kich him out of the House and be sure to really make loudly clear that a disabled person is harassed / bullied. Shame them in your family, social media and even protective services.
Makes my blood boil, when someone takes bullying of a disabled person as a source of ridicule & fun.
If I was present, then there would be a disabled person made through my own hands.
The_Stanky_Reefer@reddit
You don’t need camera evidence to prove trespassing and assault. Make a police report and call Adult Protective Services. You are justified wanting to beat this loser down, but not at risk to yourself or your father.
SpecialNeedsDetectiv@reddit
Spoof your phone number and order pizzas to his house.
Calabriafundings@reddit
Adult Protective Services exists to protect either disabled or elderly adults.
CarpentryandAlps@reddit
You need to pay the guy a visit, and make a serious ultimatum. Time to man up
MattDubh@reddit
I'd be cautious of doing anything myself.
However, were other people (who aren't fans of bullies) do do something to remind Mr Neighbour that being a bully is bad for one's health, he might think twice about his behaviour.
SpecialNeedsDetectiv@reddit
If he has a softener system for his water, quietly unplug it and let the lack of softening destroy the motherfucker's pipes.
OCKWA@reddit
It's a tough thing to do because it sounds like this situation will only escalate because you live next to them. And retaliation will be easy. Do they know your face? The only thing I can think of is following them to where they get their fast food, getting a job there or date someone who works there, and putting ground up snail to give them rat lungworm or something.
OCKWA@reddit
ok so apparently rat lungworm breaks rule 1
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Though I like the way you think.
Yeah, this sounds like a great time to invite bikers to a BBQ.
doupydoupy@reddit
Just go round and have a few 'words' with him. The same way you didn't have cameras in your dads house to prove the assault, it's likely neither does he.