ULPT Request: how can I make sure no one goes to a university event?

Posted by Which-Letterhead1747@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 57 comments

I am an untenured professor at a university. Months ago I organized a career event for our students that is at a particular day and time, with speakers who have gone on to use their degree in my field in various ways. I reserved the room, advertised heavily, etc. It was going to be a great event.

A few weeks ago one of the other professors in my department, B (who is tenured and who has been a jerk to me in various way since I started here) invited a famous person in our field to come and give a big public talk on the same day and at the same time as my long-scheduled event. B is VERY invested in the visit from the famous person because B is a sycophant and thinks this event will help their career.

I emailed B to point out that I had already scheduled an event and it probably wasn't a good idea to have two events at the same time. Instead of trying to work out a compromise, they emailed the department chair, who is B's close friend, and the department chair told me I had to reschedule my event even though I scheduled it first.

My question: how can I make sure no one goes to B's event? I would like student turnout to be horrible. I am envisioning a huge empty room. Obviously given my position I don't want it to be traced back to me.