ULPT Request - food being stolen at work
Posted by Safe-Note@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 170 comments
I have 300+ coworkers, and my food is constantly stolen at work. This includes when I write my name on it.
Ranch dessing is the most commonly stolen.
Any tips?
Twitch-x@reddit
Get a bottle of ranch, half full it with some sort of laxative that can hide in ranch. Place it in the lunch room fridge and enjoy the fun. Keep an eye on how much remains in the bottle each week. A while after it's gone, do it again. Alternately, get some million scoville hot sauce and add that to something (it would discolour the ranch though).
For your actual food, keep it at your desk. Do you have a desk job? Can you keep your lunch with you in the morning? Four hours or so out of the fridge is not a problem. My lunch is always at my desk with me. Never gets stolen.
Dropitlikeitscold555@reddit
It can still be ranch dressing. Who knows how long you left it in your car for and mixed with mostly good ranch to hide any off smells.
AaronSlaughter@reddit
Ghost peppers
hihoesilver@reddit
crush up some extascy, put it in your food. walk around the office and find whos eyes are rolling to the back of their head.
slackmandu@reddit
Put a condom in the Ranch Dressing
BigREDBeard4@reddit
A used one too
deeisqueenasf@reddit
This one made me laugh. Thank you 😂
smedleyyee@reddit
Leaving your food in the sun for a day, then forgetting it in the work fridge is good. Some foods are more likely to give food poisoning than others, I think eggs and seafood are a primary culprit.
Don’t cave in to the temptation to tell your friend at work or giggle. Tell people you aren’t feeling well.
If you have any foods you like that others won’t it’s good too. My wife has an iron stomach and eats old old food from the fridge, and also extremely hot stuff. “I eat habaneros, and dude stole my lunch.”
DazzlingNote1925@reddit
Pack an egg salad sandwich with fart spray. Once they open it everyone will think they smell!
Flux_My_Capacitor@reddit
Lockable lunch box.
vampyrewolf@reddit
Did that to a thief in 2003 or 2004.
My food was going missing when I was on the 10pm-6am shift, someone on the 2pm-10pm shift was taking it from both the fridge and freezer. Found the packaging at work a few times, including stuffed behind the fridge.
"Forgot" my food on the counter for a day, put it in the fridge at work. It went missing.
Boss came in early a 2 days later, someone on the afternoon shift was still shitting liquid. He "spoke to me about it" and laughed his ass off when I told him... The thief said I must have done something to the food, so they even told the boss they are it (described the food they ate).
My food quit disappearing though
ADelightfulCunt@reddit
What was it?
deltadeltadawn@reddit
This borders on diabolical. I like it!
tkkana@reddit
I may have done this to the yogurt thief at mediacom.
PhilMeUpBaby@reddit
Is there random drug testing at work?
Put stuff in the fridge with something in it that will fail a drug test, and carry your own separate lunchbox quietly with you.
SuperDan_x@reddit
DID YOU SEE THE SIZE OF THAT CHICKEN!?!?!
Ok-Recognition9876@reddit
Poppy seeds. If you eat enough, you’ll pop on the piss test. Sometimes tonic water will make you pop.
Kooky-Whereas-2493@reddit
yes if you eat 5lb of poppy seeds
Shazam1269@reddit
MythBusters Experiment Results
The Test: Adam Savage ate a large poppy seed cake, and Jamie Hyneman ate three poppy seed bagels.
The Findings: Both tested positive for opiates shortly after consumption (Adam within 30 minutes; Jamie within two hours).
Duration: They both remained positive for at least eight hours after eating the seeds, though they finally tested negative the following morning (~18 hours later).
Ok-Recognition9876@reddit
It depends on the individual as to how much will make a person pop. It can be as little as a teaspoon.
If OP adds a slice of a poppy seed roll for their lunch from time to time, add it to their salad dressing, or just sprinkled in every lunch it should do the trick.
dmitrineilovich@reddit
Nice to meet you, Satan! Big fan of your work!
Rareandvintage@reddit
This. They have thc tinctures that you can put in food and drinks. You’ll at least have an idea of who’s stealing your food when they’re high on their ass after lunch 🤣
midwestblacklotus@reddit
lolll
squashqueen@reddit
I love this. Put thc in it hahah
Shell-Fire@reddit
Poppy seeds will make you fail a drug test.
vonhoother@reddit
Aesthetically very pleasing, 10 out of 10 for evil, but the randomness of the drug tests means you'll have to put drugs (or poppy seeds?) in your food regularly, maybe for weeks. Could get expensive.
Cautious_Lemon8406@reddit
OMG!!!! Brilliant
redditsnot2blame@reddit
Evil. I like it.
distributingthefutur@reddit
Keep your ranch in a bottle that is sold for breast milk storage.
cuentalternativa@reddit
Who’s been drinking my breast milk!
Shibi_SF@reddit
Asking the real questions here.
When I worked with a small team in co-work/shared office floor of an office building, one of our coworkers was breastfeeding. She would take “pump breaks” and store her breast milk in the common fridge in the office kitchen to take home with her at the end of the day.
Someone on our floor would routinely steal her breast milk and either drain the little bottle and leave it empty in the fridge or only use some of it. We could never figure out who the milk thief was. We tried to catch them but they were sneaky!
(We ended up having to buy a little dorm fridge for our coworker to keep in her office — which may be a good solution for OP. Buuuut that’s not an ULPT).
Shazam1269@reddit
Someone making a White Russian? What's that called with breast milk, a White MILF Russian?
cuentalternativa@reddit
That’s crazy bro but somehow more natural than cows milk
distributingthefutur@reddit
When they started producing milk protein (caesin) in yeast to make animal free milk /cheese / yogurt, this was a big debate. Do you use the human or cow gene for casein? For the human derived option, the product naming gets hilarious. They don't want to say 'animal free human milk," etc.
It does seem to be a good application for baby formula, though.
distributingthefutur@reddit
Wow. There are urban legends where someone has loads of unused breast milk frozen. They eventually make it into cheese, yogurt, etc and feed it to unwitting people. The outrage component is they defend it as just fine / healthier / doing ppl a favor.
DontCryYourExIsUgly@reddit
Omg.
bcardin221@reddit
Who drank my sperm sample?
Creepy_old_man_in_IL@reddit
Hi!!
distributingthefutur@reddit
Name checks out. Is that you Dad?
Creepy_old_man_in_IL@reddit
Maybe? I lived down the street.
Cautious_Lemon8406@reddit
😂😂😂
distributingthefutur@reddit
Why are there so many herbs in my breast milk?
bibkel@reddit
Ice pack. Lunch box. Keep it with you. Problem solved.
Koshersaltie@reddit
But this is a purely ethical life hack.
bibkel@reddit
oh.
I missed what sub I was in. PISS DISCS!!!!!
gringogidget@reddit
The work fridge is always so nasty idk how people put their food in there.
jerkstor@reddit
I have a co-worker that likes to bring their lunch bag which is made out of cloth was a billion cat hairs on it and put it in the fridge.
HugeLittleDogs@reddit
😝
bbbbears@reddit
I worked at a clinic that had the work fridge in the bathroom. That patients could use. The microwave was in there as well.
My 500lb manager would take massive shits all day, and woe be to anyone who had to go microwave their lunch in that bathroom afterwards. Looking back, there’s no way thats legal, right?? I spent a lot of money on lunches from restaurants for a while.
gringogidget@reddit
That brings “don’t shit where you eat” to a whole new level. Jesus Christ that is so unhygienic lol.
bbbbears@reddit
Yeah I just looked it up and it’s definitely illegal in my state. Thankfully after like three years we got a new manager who put the kibosh on that shit
gringogidget@reddit
Literally
bbbbears@reddit
Haha, thank you for that
somecow@reddit
Spice it up. Or get something that isn’t common.
Same thing at home, most of my food is either weird or in chinese (can’t read it, can’t cook it, it stays).
Or just find a good lunch spot, or bring your own little cooler.
dmcandstn@reddit
Bring a decoy and put ghost pepper or something in it. You might be able to catch them based on their reaction.
vonhoother@reddit
This comes up fairly often in this sub. You have to be careful -- drugging people, even with laxative, is illegal and can get you fired.
One of the best suggestions I remember is blue food dye: the culprit will have blue tongue, blue lips, etc. Hot peppers are good but be prepared to swear you like your food very spicy.
If you want to splash out for some fresh durian, that stuff is notorious for its smell; where it's common, hotels have rules about eating it inside (i.e., don't). It's perfectly legit food, tasty once you get it past your nose, but you can't open a container of it indoors without everyone in the room noticing. Along the same lines are lutefisk, surströmming, and baccala.
exuberantraptor_@reddit
what if you genuinely just need laxatives and have them in your food, i have to take them every day if i worked and someone stole my food or drinks would i go to jail?
JupiterSkyFalls@reddit
You have to prove it wasn't intentional, of the defense has to prove it was.
thedirtygerman@reddit
Don't have to proof anything about your own food if stolen.
JupiterSkyFalls@reddit
Sadly these cases have gone to court and even tho there was a clear case where the thief admitted to stealing the food the person who deliberately messed with their own food to mess with the thief ended up getting fined or in some rare cases, jail time. It's INSANE that the law favors the thief but there you have it.
jerkstor@reddit
There's a story about a thief breaking into a house through a skylight and ended up falling and hurting himself and ending up getting insurance payouts and able to sue.
HenryFordEscape@reddit
Isn't that from the movie Liar Liar?
tasteothewild@reddit
But how will anyone know it was your food that stolen? Bring in various unmarked packages of food and/or condiments laced to the max and let things play out. Who’s going to know it was you?
Deny, deny, deny!
“Someone was poisoned, you say? Wow, weird. Sad. I have no idea whose food that was. Wasn’t mine. I stopped bring in lunch sometime ago. Good luck with your investigation”.
pupperoni42@reddit
In the US, booby traps are illegal - both physical traps on your property and contaminated food.
Anything you do to your food has to be justifiable as your personal preference. If you put ghost peppers in your sandwich, be prepared to eat a ghost pepper sandwich in front of an audience.
If you have laxative brownies, be prepared to produce evidence that you have chronic constipation and have been using laxative brownies as an ongoing solution.
It's easy for them to prove you put something that is dangerous to most people your food, which is legally assault / poisoning. So you need an affirmative defense to prove that you weren't targeting anyone else and that's just your normal food.
Assault is considered more serious than theft of $5 worth of food.
RemarkableSpot1449@reddit
Yep. There was a case around here where a homeowner put bricks in his mailbox to deter mailbox baseball-I don't remember what he got charged with, but it was something ha ha ha
Another homeowner moved his mailbox right next to a telephone pole because people kept swerving to hit it, as far as I know he never got in trouble for that
I_call_Shennanigans_@reddit
*you don't have to prove anything if toy don't her caught. If you are, you will have to.
I_call_Shennanigans_@reddit
I mean... Just don't mark your food and use a different container than usual. Unless there's video you can hot pepper/laxative them all you like 🤷 (wear gloves though).
thedirtygerman@reddit
There is nothing illegal about doing anything to your own food. You could have laxative in your ranch dressing because you are constipated. If someone steals your food they are taking something that was not prepared for them.
homies3001@reddit
wrong! if your intent is for someone else to eat it, which is the case here, it is illegal. booby trapping your food can get you fired/arrested.
Sharkhous@reddit
This is the best answer
ride_whenever@reddit
Oh god, bait surstromming laced ranch would be lethal and hilarious.
Save yourself an older bottle, 50% surstromming 50% ranch, put it in the door so it “could just be really badly expired”
VanadiumS30V@reddit
If you have long hair, put a really long strand in your food. People usually get really grossed out after finding other people's hair in food, even if it's head hair. And unlike laxatives or hot pepper, it's perfectly fine to just claim you weren't paying attention and that your hair accidentally got into your own food.
Goldilocks1454@reddit
Oh a pub would be glorious
SuspiciousStress1@reddit
Or just a head hair cut to LOOK like a pube
DontCryYourExIsUgly@reddit
Happy cake day! 🤍
SuspiciousStress1@reddit
Thank you 🥰
Ok_Equipment_3148@reddit
I like pubs with food too.
BeeFree66@reddit
Got put into your food daily.
crustyflute@reddit
That would probably work once, but ngl it’s kinda gross and might just make you lose your appetite too
cckka@reddit
Finding your own hair in your food is gross to you? If you cook and have long hair it happens. I'm never grossed out when I find my own clean hair in the food that I cooked in my own home.
Purlz1st@reddit
Cat hair. “Dammit, Fluffy just won’t stay off the counter!”
SantosFurie89@reddit
Even better, if have long hair, put a short and curly hair in the food. The more pube looking the better
CharleyDawg@reddit
Cayenne. Laxative.
IceCatCharlie@reddit
Ghost pepper.
SlashNreap@reddit
Cayenne? If I was a thief that'd just make my day. I love spicy food.
The laxatives though, yeah. That'll do it.
PageNotFoubd404@reddit
Attach a handwritten, very noticeable note to the container that cannot be missed saying “Now with new “SPECIAL” ingredients!” or “You won’t believe what I added this time!”
Grouchy_Fee_8481@reddit
Can you somehow get an air tag attached or in the container so you can track down where the food ends up? Maybe put it in a sandwich. If it works, you catch them. If they find the air tag, it still may be enough to scare them from trying that shit again 🤷♂️
JTEL918@reddit
Hope they don’t find out you’ve been craving laxative and ghost pepper hoagies.
cup_1337@reddit
This is illegal.
Sharkhous@reddit
Only illegal if you don't actually want spicy laxative food.
Dull_Banana1377@reddit
Suggesting illegal advice is a violation of the tos. Be careful with your advice we dont want reddit to delete the sub.
556_FMJs@reddit
Dosing your own food with laxatives isn’t illegal if you just want to stay regular.
mokicoo@reddit
What is the charge? Eating a meal?
happyscatteredreader@reddit
A succulent, laxative filled meal?
NewNameAgainUhg@reddit
He is not wrong 😅
deeisqueenasf@reddit
Instead of spicy, salty, sugary, or full of laxatives… you could try vinegar or citric acid.
Existing_Pie5340@reddit
Put a condom in your food. Doesn't need to be used. I had a can of beer years ago and when I'd almost finished it something hit my lip, an unrolled condom. I struggle to drink from cans these days
typical_mistakes@reddit
Put UV dye all over the container. At the end of the day, just take a walk through the office with a strong UV flashlight and see whose phone, laptop, and work are are glowing like a giant tabby cat just pissed on it.
Ok-Version-6240@reddit
this was a cool suggestion i was getting tired of the spicy laxative idea over and over
MacintoshEddie@reddit
Anything you do has to be something you'll eat unless you want to risk the food thief calling the cops on you and HR firing you for trying to poison them.
So if you want to put laxatives in it, you need to be prepared to eat that laxative sandwich. If you put reaper pepper on a sandwich you'd better be prepared to eat that reaper sandwich. If you put food dye in it you'd better be prepared to have a blue mouth after eating it.
Cook some spicy food at home, there's tons of recipes and lots of them taste good once you get accustomed. Then you start bringing them to work so that for the thief it's an abrupt and unexpected change, but a change you're used to. After all if you eat your sandwich and start gagging and crying it's hard to argue that you just like spicy food.
altigoGreen@reddit
While I understand what you're trying to say, it also makes no sense. Nobody is going to force you to eat something to prove that it's something you actually eat...
whiteflower6@reddit
Edible glitter?
madkins007@reddit
Our work fridge at different jobs was some combination of crowded, filthy, or not cold enough. (There were also several jobs with no working microwave. One hilariously only offered a nasty toaster.)
I just used an insulated lunch bag and kept my lunch in my desk, bag, car, or cubby. I adjusted my lunches based on what amenities they provided.
Ok-Bit4971@reddit
You jogged my memory of a former employer, a small plumbing company. The shop had a nasty microwave; the office had a clean microwave. The guys in the shop started using the office microwave, so the office manager complained to the owner, who made the guys in the shop clean and use their own microwave from then on.
madkins007@reddit
I've come to believe that if you are interviewing for a job, you should ask to see the break and restroom facilities you'd have access to.
There hasn't been SOOO many jobs where the retail space was kept immaculate, or the managers spaces were very nice, but the spaces for the workers were totally trash.
It feels like a quick and easy way to see how you'll rate in the company.
Coup-de-Glass@reddit
Put a pack of sugar free gummy bears in with the rest of your lunch items. You know, for your dessert.
MakeChai-NotWar@reddit
What would this do?
VixenTraffic@reddit
Really bad diarrhea
emax4@reddit
Steal all the food. Now nobody's food can be stolen because you hoarded it all.
jueidu@reddit
1) Get a light activated super loud alarm that you can disarm with an app. 2) Put your things in a zippered lunch bag. 3) When someone opens the lunch bag, insanely loud alarm will freak them the fuck out, and bring them to the attention of everyone in the vicinity. 4) A note on the outside of the bag stating you have done this might work just as well. 5) Most hilarious of all would be putting the note on the bag, and then if your lunch still gets stolen, actually do the thing the note threatened to do, so they are not expecting it. 6) Camera that streams to your phone and is motion activated would also be amazing so that you can catch them doing it, and probably get them fire for theft.
smithguitars@reddit
Decoy bottle spiked with Carolina reaper hot sauce.
KittyFlops@reddit
OP suddenly gets a craving for the hottest food, with hottest of hot sauce. I personally used this one to good effect. The person tried to get me in trouble for it, and I explained that they have no proof I didn’t intend to eat it myself. Or, maybe you’re feeling a little irregular, and need something to loosen you up.
gringogidget@reddit
Bring a cold pack and never use the disgusting work fridge.
cuentalternativa@reddit
Can you get a mini fridge for your desk and put a lock on it
ww11gunny@reddit
Start a rumor that your wife has been known to attempt to poison your food in the past and that you're going through a rocky patch in your marriage
Sharkhous@reddit
Why the fuck would you sully your partners name when it's so much easier and more effective to literally just 'poison' your food with heaps of spice
JupiterSkyFalls@reddit
They hate their partner or likely don't have one.
breathing__tree@reddit
Some people have partners who would be in on the joke and find it hilarious.
homies3001@reddit
Booby traps are indeed illegal. Do it anyway if you want or think it can't be proven. But it is illegal to maliciously put something like a laxative in food you intend for someone else to eat, even if you intend for someone else to eat your own lunch. Google is your friend.
ION-8@reddit
There are one of two ways to spice up that ranch, you can give it a tug into the bottle or buy bulk animal seamen online then let it sit in the fridge and way for the first person to puke. Ensure its labeled with your name and NOT to eat it just to cover your own ass.
Much-Log3357@reddit
This is the way. Jism isn't poisonous.
lynn620@reddit
Water down a bottle of ranch and leave it in fridge. When it gets poured to ruin their food. Could also make it salty or full of pepper
Comprehensive_Cut179@reddit
Ranch dressing and condiments is usually communal.
Conscious-Leg8404@reddit
Can’t you just keep your food in an insulated lunchbox under your desk?
dontgetmadgetmegan@reddit
I’ve seen plastic sandwich bags for sale printed with mould - so it looks like the sandwich is mouldy from the outside but you know it’s ok.
Or switch to meal replacement shakes. Nobody will pinch optifast
GloriouslyGrimGoblin@reddit
Buy those tiny customizable audio thingies that play a sound when you open their greeting card.
Record something like "Lunch thief detected! Attention, guard your food! Lunch thief detected!" (interspersed with claxon sounds) onto them.
Then rig your lunch box or bottle so the gadget is hidden inside and starts blaring when opened.
Bonus points for - decorating your container with a nice sticker saying "Theft-protected personal property of [your name]" or similar - sourcing/engineering a version that doesn't stop playing when you close the contact and just keeps playing until you manage to remove the battery - added glitter bomb functionality - adding some way to disarm all of the above, so you can actually enjoy your lunch yourself.
To be honest, I wouldn't want to risk drenching the electronics in ranch sauce and voiding all my work, so I'd probably fill the bottle with fake solid ranch sauce (plaster of paris made with some dried herbs and a tiny drop of coloring?).
nochinzilch@reddit
You keep your own condiments in a shared refrigerator?
tmanowen@reddit
Yes that’s very normal from what I’ve personally experienced. Every job I’ve had that’s had a communal fridge, people have their own personal condiments in it.
nochinzilch@reddit
With 300 other coworkers??
FreezedPeachNow@reddit
Stop listening to all these idiots saying it is illegal to drug your own food.
You put laxatives into your OWN food because you need help pooping
You put spicy stuff into your OWN food because you like spicy stuff.
This is like the burglar that breaks into your house and slips in your floor and tries to sue you. Our society has lost common sense. Do whatever you want with your OWN stuff
thedirtygerman@reddit
Exactly
the_amazing_skronus@reddit
So broken glass and razorblades. Got it.
Yungballz86@reddit
Add a ground up ghost pepper to something you have no intention of eating and wait to see who gets lit up.
SVTContour@reddit
Use Marmite or Vegimite on your sandwich. It's got a unique taste.
Afraid_Baseball_3962@reddit
Salty and yet bitter. Tons of people really truly love that stuff but it's a taste I'll never acquire.
Moistcowparts69@reddit
This is probably the most common post in this sub. Did you even bother trying to search before posting?
AWholeNewFattitude@reddit
Ok….one, could you just bring your lunch in a small cooler and leave it at your desk? That would keep it safe and cool for at least a few hours.
Second, you could hide a dummy lunch, with cockroaches in the sandwich. The person will be insanely grossed out and may react soo badly they out themselves. You can blame prepackaged lettuce or just not noticing them.
AdWooden2312@reddit
Ranch dressing with red hot chilli sauce a plenty
matt88@reddit
Australian here, now I'm hungry for a Vegemite sandwich
Mm2k@reddit
You can buy a desk fridge. They are small, they hold drinks and a lunch. But if you really want to stick it to them, replace the ranch dressing with something unexpected like Kefir. Or put a tiny camera in the back of the fridge and just film people going in and out of it. Then confront your aggressor!
Wonderful-Tea-9074@reddit
Visine. Watch Wedding Crashers
Jenicillin@reddit
Yeah, this is not true. Adding visine to food is dangerous. I mean, you would have to add a lot, but it doesn't jsut make you shit, it can make you die.
Swallowing Visine causes tetrahydrozoline poisoning, which affects the central nervous system and cardiovascular system.
vandon@reddit
It's not that much to cause effects, several drops is enough to cause poisoning in kids. Don't mess around with it, you'll end up in jail
Ok-Recognition9876@reddit
Are you what people will call underweight? Talk to HR about the food thief and how it’s caused you to waste money by eating unhealthy or just skipping a meal. Tell HR your doctor & nutritionist gave you a healthier diet to follow that includes weight gainer and you don’t want anyone to touch it.
Add mass gainer to your ranch dressing. Bring your meal in and show HR how it is clearly labeled as yours and that it is not to be touched (homemade ranch dressing usually contains raw eggs). If it goes missing report it.
The best part of mass gainer is that you can add the unflavored powder to almost anything - not just smoothies! Chili, mashed potatoes, salad dressings, creamy soups, thick sauces, oatmeal/porridge, yogurts, baked goods, etc.
Alternatively, you’ll find that beet powder mixes with the same stuff. It’s a healthy additive that can cause pinkish to dark colored urine/stools.
prrrfectly@reddit
Can you just put your ranch in an unlabeled bottle? I like the breast milk storage bottle idea or maybe a generic opaque bottle with a tight seal. What else is being stolen besides ranch? If condiments/creamer then probably multiple people are using it. If it’s entire sandwiches or something that’s different. How long are you leaving in the fridge? Cleaning people could be clearing it out. I know this is ULPT but you already got those. Put a larger label on it - I used to tape/draw a picture of a skull and crossbones and my name allllll over the item in question - like an unhinged amount of times. I think it shows the person (or people) the jig is up and they could be embarrassed into stopping.
Quirky-Invite7664@reddit
Put a dead cockroach in your sandwich
Personal-Material-53@reddit
Mini size desk fridge - put under desk
JupiterSkyFalls@reddit
Lock on a lunch box. Easy peasy.
eyes-open@reddit
Are your full lunches being stolen? Or just condiments and the like?
Honestly, if I put a condiment in the fridge, I tend to think it might get eaten. As long as it's not disappearing a ridiculous rate (like a container of dressing a day) then I'm usually OK supplying the office with it.
But as this is UPLT... Put pancake syrup on the outside of the bottle. That feeling is gross, and it's less likely anyone will want something in an uber sticky bottle. Ketchup might also give you the same effect.
NewNameAgainUhg@reddit
I see that everyone is suggesting the laxative/spicy option, but I think is better go go the salty/sugary one. Add tons of salt/ sugar to your food. It's disgusting but not dangerous, and if someone complains you can use the honest mistake card
eyes-open@reddit
No one is going to fess up to stealing this person's salty lunch. It's a good tactic, though. I'd throw some moldy lettuce in the middle centre of a sandwich, too.
It really says, "We both know you've been doing this. Do you really want to keep playing this game?"
mirrrje@reddit
“Omg this sandwich is full of salt wtf” “I’m sorry, it was an honest mistake!” Seem an incredibly unlikely scenario Lmao
AddictedToCSGO@reddit
Put laxatives in
Reinvented-Daily@reddit
Bring an unlabeled lunch that's comprised of Carolina reaper everything but don't label it or anything.
You'll find the person real quick, either through the grapevine or in front of you.
Can't get in trouble for liking spicy food.
Or having a laxative prescription that you mix in your food to help with your bowls (but it's gotta be rx so you can't get in trouble).
SantosFurie89@reddit
Then clog the toilets and get them closed or reduced in availability
SaintPariah1@reddit
Ipecac.
Causes vomiting in case you ingested something poisonous.
mamaleigh05@reddit
They don’t sell it anymore in the US. But that would be in my list. Laxatives, make pot brownies and tell your supervisor you suspect drug use the next day (make sure it has time to metabolize and show up). There are soo many ways to keep them from even thinking about it again!
MsTerious1@reddit
This is what hidden cameras are for.
NewNameAgainUhg@reddit
Piss disc. You decide how and when
cpo109@reddit
If you have the space, put a locked container in a small personal fridge or a hasp lock attached to it. The is not ULPT, but would work.
No-Falcon631@reddit
Cameras in the kitchen area. Seriously, in this day and age.
Apotak@reddit
Put up camera's, catch thief, print posters to shame him or her.
Skeggy-@reddit
Protip: don’t boobytrap the food. No eyedrops, what they’re allergic to, laxatives, hot spices, etc.
Though I agree it’s justified the law doesn’t and at that point you’re just telling on yourself with evidence with your name written on it.
NotEnoughRocks1977@reddit
Put a TON of Cayenne in it. When you see someone almost coughing their head off, you found your culprit.
himitsuuu@reddit
Laxatives even with a script are probably illegal. extremely spicy food isn't a bad idea but might kill someone if you go overboard and the thief is as weak as they seem. Get some ice packs and mini cooler to avoid fridge use.
SpecialNeedsDetectiv@reddit
Put a decoy bag of lunch and hide laxatives in the food. It won't kill or maim the person, but it will be a harsh lesson they never forget.
going-for-gusto@reddit
Revenge is a dish best served cold, make yourself a ham and cheese sandwich with three slices of cold dog poop instead of ham.
Thicknineinchh@reddit
Put ghost pepper in it, not to catch the person but because you really enjoy spicy food.
FlowerComfortable889@reddit
I assume your items are clearly marked with your name, so while it's definitely not ethical nor legal to adulterate food, putting some laxative in a bottle of ranch might get the message home. Buy or grab from a fast food place some shelf stable packets of dressing to get you through until the thief shits themselves during a big meeting and gets the message
Odd_Mortgage_9108@reddit
"Poison it" is the only sensible answer, ever.