Warning about losing parents!
Posted by Sergio55@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 422 comments
We’re at that age where it’s happening unfortunately. I’ve already lost both of mine. I’m in the process of sorting through my childhood home, and I found so many old pictures. It’s been such a bittersweet experience going through them and remembering birthdays, vacations, school plays, etc.
But here’s my warning: in the process of going through all of the old pictures you come across, keep your guard up! If you see a picture of a dimly lit room and think “hey, that shadow looks like a penis” don’t look at the next pictures unless you are fully ready to be explicitly confronted by the fact that your dearly departed parents were sexual beings. Ask me how I know.
TLDR - Watch out when going through your parents old pictures. There’s a non-zero chance that you’re going to see more of them than you ever wanted.
who-dat24@reddit
Had to go through my dad’s stuff last year. We filled a dumpster with porn mags and videos.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Hopefully they weren't homemade videos.
who-dat24@reddit
No homemade videos.
redheadfae@reddit
My condolences to you.
After mum died, my dad kept his collection of Polaroids from the past of her by his chair. Lots of tasteful lingerie shots, and some more racy. I warned his caregivers to decline if he offered to show them, which, as dementia removed his inhibitions, he sometimes would do. I encouraged they say,
"Let's look at the pictures on this digital frame (or album) instead, shall we?"
Meanwhile, whew, the levels of prudery about parents in these comments is killing me.
Maybe I'm grateful now that my folks were so open with me about sexual matters.
LOL
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Thank! I mean I’m pretty sex positive, I just didn’t want to see closeups of my parents.
redheadfae@reddit
Haha, yeah, that's more than one needs to know. Mine walked around naked in the house for most of my childhood. Dad started wearing clothes when I hit puberty, thankfully, since I often had a friend overnight.
Yakitori_Grandslam@reddit
My wife is a private client solicitor. There have been several times where after a client has passed she has found weird things that you wouldn’t expect people to have. Some days it can be funny. Other times, she’s had to involve the authorities, because the nice old man, well, wasn’t very nice at all.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Oof! Sounds like an interesting job tho
Yakitori_Grandslam@reddit
Interesting, but I think it takes a bit of a toll on her. She had a run of about 6 months of nothing but paedos, porn addicts, horrible neighbours stealing stuff from the house of a deceased client, family members wanting their money but giving zero fucks about their dead parents and in one case a lovely dog that was left alone and even the dog charity that the client had donated £10k to wouldn’t take the poor dog.
The RSPCA even advised her that there was nothing they could do unless the dog was mistreated, they said she would have to starve it for 4 days. She refused and found someone to adopt him.
Doesn’t even pay well!
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Wow! That sounds tough. She's awesome for doing that though.
Darwinbc@reddit
My best friend since middle school passed in 24. I went down to his place with his Mom and her boyfriend to get his belongings in order. The boyfriend was cleaning out a drawer in a night stand when he pulled out a zip up sack. I knew immediately what it was, will never forget the look on his face when he un zipped that sack.
Aggressive-Green4592@reddit
When my dad passed away he had an unsettling number of woman's underwear stashed away. I wasn't expecting that.
Wendy-Windbag@reddit
I had an ex that I helped sort through his hoarder-dad's stuff after he passed away.
There was a box of disguises with different glasses and fake mustaches. Somehow that felt a lot more sketchy than if we had found panties.
dowut_ohghey@reddit
Was his name Tom, by any chance?
Wendy-Windbag@reddit
It was Bob.
He had been an "old dad" first-gen American, parents immigrated from Italy to Brooklyn in the 1920s.
I always suspected that he worked with mafia, he was a telephone guy for Bell, and had all the equipment for tapping lines and such. Moved down to Miami in the 70s and somehow retired as a millionaire. He served time for attempted murder, and my ex used to joke that no one ever bothered his dad in prison because they assumed he was old mob.
I think the disguises were for "work."
dowut_ohghey@reddit
Bob With The Mob is both a lot cooler and more dignified than Peeping Tom tbqh. Thanks for the background, I actually have an endless fascination with 20th century American mob stuff so just imagining what you described is both very plausible and really fascinating to me.
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
Did he have a Costco membership?
HopelessMagic@reddit
Were they his size or...
Aggressive-Green4592@reddit
Didn't even think of checking for that to be honest.
Weekly_Library9883@reddit
…clean or dirty?
Aggressive-Green4592@reddit
Not sure, just scooped them all up and put them in a bag.
genx_meshugana@reddit
I found my pop's dick pills when cleaning out their old room LMAO
Date on the script put him in his late 60s when he tried them out
Constant-Industry262@reddit
I found those pills going through my dad's medicine cabinet after he passed, along with some sort of sketchy supplement. Both of those had dates that placed them within the last couple years of his life.
I did not find a date for a couple of the other things I found in my parents' bedroom, which is for the best. It would have been better if I hadn't found anything at all, but I guess it's nice to know that my parents loved each other to the end...?
ApplesBananasRhinoc@reddit
And don’t read letters you come across that were hidden up on the top shelf of a closet from you your entire life.
Revolutionary_Gas551@reddit
When my Dad passed away, my younger sister thought it would be a good idea to watch some old VHS tapes. I quickly and firmly talked her out of that. Zero trust! LOL
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Good thinking!
magsli@reddit
Thanks for this heads up! Never thought about this before!
I'm the only "kid" (3 of us) who lives nearby our parents, and will be the one dealing with the majority of the clean out. They are 84 and 85 now. Aging rapidly.
I have a plan of attack for organizing the hoard, but would love any other tips like this to be aware of!!
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Have them set up a revocable trust and/or make sure it’s updated. Having just a will is a lengthy legal process still. My parents had a trust, but hadn’t updated it since I was a child which made things more complex.
magsli@reddit
Definitely! We're 100% set with all of that! thanks!
Just need advice about dealing with the clean out LOL. What did you uncover that you weren't prepared for haha
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
See if you can find someone to lead an estate sale. They’d be knowledgeable about pricing and have ways to advertise. We tried to organize two, but it was sooo much work and we ended not really making much. I would have much rather had someone else come and take 40-60% who knew what they were doing.
magsli@reddit
That's a great idea
ButterscotchAware402@reddit
I learned early to be cautious when interacting with things from my parents past. When I was 14 I found a VERY graphic letter from my father to my mother while he was stationed in Korea. I've always understood and been fine with the fact that my parents are sexual beings but that letter... no child, any age, should know those things about their parents... shudder
minaretcrew@reddit
Right after my mom died, I found a letter my dad wrote to her while he was out of town for work. He very sweetly described how he missed her while working all day. And then he very explicitly described exactly how he missed her while in bed at night.
There needs to be some sort of warning punctuation between sweet and spicy.
pug_fugly_moe@reddit
I think it was on Reddit about someone finding a love letter from the war and the guy saying something like I hope I survive so I can feel your hot pussy one more time before I die.
Hilarious
ButterscotchAware402@reddit
That's tame compared to the words I read that day
wildplums@reddit
Omg! Don’t read other people’s stuff! (I totally would do the same, but this advice is solid if only we could heed it).
Rust_Bucket37@reddit
Lol that's how an old family secret got out that my wife's grandmother was married and had a baby then divorced before she married the husband they all knew as their grandfather. Turns out the kid was my mother in law and her step father treated her like he was his own and the elders of the family never spoke of it so mother in laws cousins didn't even know. We tried to track the guy down and found his obituary the poor guy never married again and had a couple nephews and a niece he was close to. Grandma was not one to be messed with she was a sweet lady but get on her wrong side and you'd regret it so I can imagine he didn't stand a chance.
mistressgoddessa1@reddit
Oh gosh
rml24601@reddit
💀
daylight1943@reddit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WN50t8khXMI
E-2theRescue@reddit
This is what happened to us. My dad had to go to Vietnam for a year while dating my mom. We found the naughty letter he sent her. My sister read it to the whole household.
PoisonMind@reddit
When my parents got divorced, Mom threw away a bunch of old love letters. I read a sinhle sentence and that was enough to kill any further curiosity.
ginger-inside-007@reddit
I feel this. Same thing, dad in Korea, letters he kept from women. I was young when he passed, but I was able to read them when one of my siblings shared them with me when I got older. It was way before he met my mom. There were 6 letters. He loved women. Apparently very well according to them.
robgraves@reddit
The solution to this is to just burn the place down when they die, Gilbert Grape style.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Hindsight is 20/20!
Danimal-8008@reddit
I’m so sorry for you loss but I laughed so hard at this!
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Thanks! I’m glad my pain can bring you joy. Haha
Federal-Laugh9575@reddit
My mom apparently sold sex products back in the day like the modern MLMs. I accidentally found their pornographic playing cards while looking for a deck of cards to play solitaire with. Each card had a different graphic nude scene on it. All 54 cards, including the Jokers. At a young age, I learned my parent’s were freaks! 😭 I also learned to ask for things instead of “snooping” while looking for them. My step-sister learned that in middle school when she found her mom’s stash of toys while looking for nail polish. 🫣
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Surprise! Haha
Unknowngala@reddit
No, I am not ready
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Few people are
Texas_Kimchi@reddit
I lost both my grandparents in the early 2000's.
MotherofaPickle@reddit
I saw my grandmother, who I’m pretty sure had never worn a bra in her life, take her clothes off in front of me, and my cousins, as we were cleaning out her bedroom for that farce of an estate sale after my grandpa had died.
That was far more traumatic than A) seeing one of my dad’s balls sneaking out during a float trip, or B) finding my parents’ sex toys.
I’m good. Between all that and the internet, I’m pretty sure I have no judgements.
bony-tony@reddit
I'm so sorry about your parents.
I really enjoy your sense of humor about it all, though.
CrackinBones204@reddit
Reminds me of Tisha Campbell going through her late fathers things. Her exclamation “daddeeee!” lol
https://www.reddit.com/r/popculturechat/s/YnN2ZQvORY
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Thanks! They found a way to give me one last new core memory. haha
Ianbillmorris@reddit
My mum's still here fortunately, but her will states that I need to give her big penis book (a book filled with photos very well endowed gentleman in the buff) back to her (gay) friend and former colleague who bought it for her originally.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Hilarious! And awkward
Ianbillmorris@reddit
Not as awkward as the fact she got it out whenever I brought a girl home to show them!
AffectionateFig5864@reddit
My parents never had sex, so I’m safe 👍🏻
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
That’s what I thought too! May you never be disappointed like I was.
AffectionateFig5864@reddit
Well, they’re also not ever going to die, so I definitely won’t be put in that position.
zoominzacks@reddit
I will add grandparents to this warning as well.
No, I do not want to talk about it 😂
thisisanalaia95@reddit
When my sister was little she found my grandpa’s collection of Playboy VHS tapes. She was very young (like 3) so she didn’t know what they were but she knew they looked an awful lot like her Barney and Disney tapes so she put them in her suitcase because she wanted to bring them home and watch them. My mom found them.
We still laugh about it.
Top-Wolverine-8684@reddit
My grandpa had a huge stack of them in the garage and flipped through them right in front of us all the time. When they eventually moved in with my parents, they built a shed for him on the side of the house, and his Playboys were all in magazine rack.
TacoTheSuperNurse@reddit
His Jack Shack had a magazine rack. Fun times.
nbdyfckswiththejesus@reddit
Was going to say such an underrated comment until I realized it was 5 minutes old!
Summerie@reddit
Well it's now 12 hours old, and I can assure you that your instincts were correct.
alvinofdiaspar@reddit
Pinocchio is caught lying again.
yellowlinedpaper@reddit
My boomer dad kept them under his mattress growing up. My grandmother went to change his sheets and he had so many his mattress slid off the box spring
alvinofdiaspar@reddit
Forbidden Pinocchio.
yespls@reddit
I think finding my grandfather's... uh, assistive devices was far more traumatizing than my parents
E-2theRescue@reddit
It wasn't sexual things with my grandpa, it was the mountains of white supremacist materials. Nothing like opening up a printed off booklet from the Three Percenters in 2007 and seeing the N-word every 5th word.
There were also creepy as fuck dating books, too. They were straight-up suggesting molesting women and saying that if she pushes back but doesn't run, that means she actually wants you.
somethingquirky01@reddit
To me that's far worse.
Outside_Bench4184@reddit
lol understatement
EatsCrackers@reddit
So much worse. Even the most… ambitious…. dildo collection doesn’t hurt anyone who didn’t sign up for it. Supremacy stuff, though? That’s some nasty shit!
birchblonde@reddit
Yes, obviously
wombatrunner@reddit
Found a book in my grandparents room after they passed about how to revive your sex life in your 80s….way to go for them but I wasn’t prepared….
LilacLlamaMama@reddit
Yeah....my sweet momma ended up tasked with the bedroom of my paternal grandmother. My momma is a nurse, and my daddy and aunt thought she'd be the one to best know which items from Nanny's final days were worth adding to the med supplies cupboard and which to toss outright.
Fortunately, as a consummate professional, she was able to keep her composure and only contribute minor psychic trauma to my daddy and aunt when she got to the drawer(s!) containing her in-laws' intimacy aids. There is just nothing that can quite compare to finding your mother-in-law's rabbit, eggs, lube shelf, etc. Or your father-in-law's collections.
And it made for one hell of a funny story, now that all the grandkids are full-grown adults. Sometimes it is downright awkward to be as open with one another as we are, but awkward can quickly turn into legendary, and we all realize just how blessed we are to have the type of family that has grown close and secure enough to talk about ANYTHING. (I surely cannot say that we listen and we don't judge, but hey-at least we listen🤣🤣🤣)
Remote_Reaction_4085@reddit
Happy to help with any collections.
EatsCrackers@reddit
Oh you sweet summer child…
Tricky-Passion-7191@reddit
I understand completely.
Jerkrollatex@reddit
My grandpa had a bunch of sports illustrated swimsuits additions and oddly enough lots of pictures of Jasmine from a Disney land trip.
Friendly_Raccoon_338@reddit
Nothing odd about that 😆
Jerkrollatex@reddit
The man scanned them, cropped the kids out of the picture and printed multiple copies and had them hidden around the house. My grandma firmly believes that looking at other women is cheating. So the poor old dude had to close and dagger his stash.
Practical-Plenty907@reddit
Cloak and dagger
Jerkrollatex@reddit
Auto correct changed it, but thanks.
Practical-Plenty907@reddit
Here I was thinking has to be a lurker from another time! All of us know that!
Just-Try-2533@reddit
Again. Nothing odd about that. :)
brainvheart143@reddit
Omg stop that’s hilarious
Both-Enthusiasm708@reddit
I found my grandpa's racy letters from his mistress in a box of random stuff my dad had from their house. I told my dad if there is anything left like that in his stuff to make sure it is destroyed before he is gone because I don't want to go through that twice!
chamrockblarneystone@reddit
My friends and I call these “landmines.” When we were much younger living in an apt on the beach in San Diego, we would comb each other’s rooms in case they were starting to serious with a girl.
The amount of strange things left behind by girls was unexplainable, and def would have been awkward if a new girl found it.
Now that I’m a grown man with adult children I can sleep well knowing that If I die during the night I’m landmine free.
SunshineofMyLyfetime@reddit
Oh, you’re about 15 years too late…
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Well, if I ever get a Time Machine, I’ll definitely give you a warning in 2010.
SunshineofMyLyfetime@reddit
Thanks! I really needed one about so many things. 😞
Enge712@reddit
I have a very clear memory of a friend finding some dirty pictures in with his dad’s dirty magazine. We were maybe 15. Polaroids with the faces not in frame of two very attractive naked women in father’s bedroom. He commented how hot they both were before flipping to the next to see one of those hot naked ladies was his mom.
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Were his arms broken?
citylightscocktail@reddit
10/10 reddit lore.
rulenumber62@reddit
Always a student. Link?
citylightscocktail@reddit
Have fun.
emmet80@reddit
Oh my god, I could have gone my entire life without clicking that link.
EatsCrackers@reddit
And thanks to this warning, I actually will!
emmet80@reddit
Wise choice. Thank you for letting me know my suffering is not in vain.
EatsCrackers@reddit
Yup. Nope. Not in vain. I will go my entire existence without knowing what lies behind those shimmering blue letters. I clicked Goatse. I clicked Blue Waffle. I’ve been Rick Rolled more times than I can count, and finally I have learned!
rulenumber62@reddit
I didn’t read any of the comments and still would like some bleach.
EatsCrackers@reddit
r/boopthesnoot
Much snoot! So boop! Wow!
jazzminarino@reddit
I'm just finally coming back to this comment, trying to figure out how I lost four hours in whatever the hell I was linked to. Whew, so glad to be back here with dead parents talk. What a relief! (Nope, no /s legit happy to be here versus over there.)
emmet80@reddit
That thread literally gave me a nightmare last night.
rulenumber62@reddit
Yeah totally not what I expected. I was thinking more along the lines of poop-knife level, but here we are.
Sad_Egg_5176@reddit
I know this is a Reddit classic, but the whole thing is such obvious bullshit. I can’t believe so many people bought it
Enge712@reddit
Big NOPE lol
wildplums@reddit
Omg, this is truly just a nightmare for all involved.
Hammerhandle@reddit
It wasn't a nightmare for his dad!!
Enge712@reddit
I mean his mom was pretty hot. The other woman was hot and neither was my mother. I got a story to bring up 30 years later.
I came out ok other than having seen the reason why his balding and beer bellied dad was always dating so many women that seemed like they should be out of his league.
jnobs@reddit
MASSIVE hog, for sure
Rust_Bucket37@reddit
My dad would always comment if she was out of his league it was either for money money or pleasure. Sometimes out and about either my wife or I will lean over to each other point out a couple and say can't be money and laugh.
EatsCrackers@reddit
I had the safe-for-work version of this happen. My dad and I were going through old photos after his divorce, and there was a photo of this absolutely gorgeous young woman standing in a place I recognized. I said “Dang dad, she’s gorgeous! Who is she?” Turns out it was my mom, just 30 years and 300 pounds of “I don’t give a shit about myself or anyone around me” ago.
Fully clothed, not scandalous at all, but it haunts me a little bit how much ruin she brought upon herself to go from that absolute knockout with such a warm smile to…. gestures vaguely at the pile of spite and fuckery which she became that.
micholob@reddit
my BIL told me years ago he and his brother went into his parents stash of VHS tapes with the intent of finding some dirty movies. They did... Don't ever play ones without a label was his advice.
MeganK80@reddit
Yep! My dad died in January and while it was lovely to find so many old pictures of us and our family I had forgotten, it was also HORRIFYING to find a stack of Polaroid pictures....i saw one and didn't look at the rest 🤣😪🤮
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
If I had Polaroids I perhaps could have had my radar activated - these were pictures they actually had to get developed by other people. Anyway, I’m glad to know you feel my pain.
MeganK80@reddit
Yikes!! That's definitely wild 🤣🥰
MoparViking74@reddit
My Mom is gone but my Dad is still around. The last few years he’s been Swedish Death Cleansing his house. He gave me a copy of The Joy of Sex that he and Mom had. I took it because I thought it would be funny. Little did I know that he and Mom had saved some Polaroids in that book. That was not a fun surprise.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Oof! Thats how you turn joy into sadness!
LaLa_820@reddit
Omg!!! After my dad passed many years ago, my husband and I found a video tape hidden in a secret wall cubby. It was titled Stars and Stripes. We put it in his VCR because of course. It was him banging my mom!! I only saw a few seconds before it registered who the people were. At that time my mom was remarried, so I told her in private. She threatened me with my life for that tape. We still tease her about it in secret! 😂
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Sorry for our loss! But that is a hilarious name for their tape.
Embarrassed-Ear8082@reddit
True when we pass we will have to tell our kids don't scroll our phone gallery you will regret it lol
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Yes, give them a heads up! Haha
thetrappster@reddit
This is such a weird age.
I have friends my age that have newborns, others that are now grandparents, some that are starting to lose grandparents, others that have already lost both parents.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Anything is possible when you’re a Xennial!
AcadianTraverse@reddit
Also. Please please sit down with your parents to go through their estate plans and wills, especially if you've been named executor.
Right before COVID my parents told my sister and I that they were going to be updating their wills and that they'd be naming me as executor. We had a brief discussion around end of life wishes too, but they said they'd be updating all of that with the will update.
As both my sister and I have gotten married recently and she had a baby, plus my folks have gotten older. I told them I wanted to have an updated discussion this summer when my sister is in town to understand their current wishes. Come to find out my parents never actually updated their will and that they haven't been updated since we were teenagers. Their current will still names a guardian for my sister and I (and has a now-passed family friend named as executor).
Needless to say they're now getting them updated.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
This is almost exactly what happened to me. They had not updated their trust since I was a child. I don’t know if your parents have a trust and a will, but I’d strongly recommend them getting a trust since they’re updating everything.
Gian_Luck_Pickerd@reddit
Thank God my parents never had sex
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
That's what I thought til I found those pictures. I guess it's just down to you and Jesus now.
Gian_Luck_Pickerd@reddit
Seriously though, my parents divorced back in '89 on less than friendly terms. So that, combined with our move a few years after, means that I'll fortunately not find any stuff like that in the future
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Hope does spring eternal!
Gray_Twilight@reddit
This really applies to any family member
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
True
Flimsy-Shirt9524@reddit
Reminds me my uncle died and my mom totally knew some of the film reals had porn. Luckily who they went to was warned and let us know what to keep and was like yeah this, nope.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Making informed decisions is helpful!
nightterrors644@reddit
Lol one of the kids made two mistakes. One was searching through our closet and opening a box that had some lifestyle goodies. The other mistake made was opening a box of toys by the bed. She is forever traumatized. I find it hilarious and that's what she gets for snooping.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Curiosity killed the cat!
ToWitToWow@reddit
My cousin came to me recently and told me he’d cleaned out my confirmed bachelor uncle’s house including his pictures.
I asked him “How bad?”
And he paused and said “Not that bad at all”
My dead uncle’s whole life is in that pause. . .
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
So not that good either?
fleebleganger@reddit
My dad mostly died when he had his stroke a few years ago.
My mother died when she gave me the silent treatment for my birthday this past year.
To all the people with loving and supportive parents, cherish it. I never got the chance and I didnt even get grandparents.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I’m sorry. Yes, having had loving and supportive parents is something I do treasure.
AotKT@reddit
I found one of my dad in a box of photos when I was somewhere under 10. It took until my 40s to tell my parents about that. Slightly more traumatizing than finding the copy of The Joy of Sex in the living room bookcase. Not hidden. THE LIVING ROOM.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I also found The Joy of Sex on their bookshelf like a normal book when I was a kid (younger than 10)! I was a precocious reader, so they probably didn’t realize my reading comprehension was at that level where they needed to hide it.
AotKT@reddit
It is STILL on their bookcase. Thankfully the bookcase is now in their office that no one but family goes into.
Netwrayth@reddit
I lost my last parent December of 24, my dad. I im still going through probate for a lot of stuff. Had to evict my nephew out of his house and he decided to trash it and take a bunch of stuff that wasn't his to take when he left.
Hopefully you don't have trashy family to deal with as well. My condolences on your loss.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Thank you. Sorry for yours as well. I don’t know why some family members are like that.
No-Signature8788@reddit
I lost both of my parents but my grandparents are still alive. It just seems so unreal.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Oh wow! Sorry about your parents, but at least you still have your grandparents. All of mine were gone before I was born. Sorry - don’t mean to turn this into a grief competition. Enjoy your time with them!
KetoMeUK@reddit
Yup, lost both mine the last 4 years.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Rough times!
taptaptippytoo@reddit
My mother was briefly a nude model and I'm pretty sure they still have the pictures. That's going to be weird af to stumble on if they don't think to get rid of them first.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Tasteful I’m sure!
Bornagainchola@reddit
I found my dads Viagra.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Maybe it was just for his heart?
TacoDestroyer420@reddit
My brother and I found the porn when we were at a more, uhm, tender age. Hadn't thought about that for a long time.
I'm thinking about this a lot lately. I live across the country. I talk to my mom sometimes via text. My parents are still together, but my relationship with Dad is quite strained. We haven't really spoken in years.
The family home is gone, I don't know what the fuck happened, really. It just... fell into disrepair. They live in a fifth-wheel camper at the front of the property. God knows what the house looks like at this point.
I moved far away because I couldn't live where they lived anymore. The place was killing me. Now, I'm doing so much better, but the guilt remains.
Thanks for bringing this up. I have to make a move and be the adult.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
My dad’s house was definitely in disrepair. It was still livable, but needed major work.
AVonDingus@reddit
I had a family member die last year and in helping clean up, we found his ENORMOUS hidden stash of used scratch-offs and bootleg vhs porn (all fetishizing black women, which i mention because he was a racist pos who we all hated).
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Whoa! Plot twist!
alvinofdiaspar@reddit
Well my dad died when I was in my very early teens and I discovered his bootlegged stash in Betamax very soon after. All I can say is 80s porn is ludicrous.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Ludicrously good?
melydi85@reddit
My mom gave me bins of her old photos to go through and pick out what I wanted after my father passed(they hadn’t been together for 35 years, so I was happy to hear she still had some photos of him)Although I did not find the type of photos you had the pleasure of finding, I did find a photo of my father goofing off in a candy candy striped onesie type thing(no clue why, but it was Christmas time in the photo, and my mom had one on too, so maybe they were matching Christmas pjs🤷🏼♀️ Idk, I didn’t ask my mom) which I though was funny, then the next photo was him in the same outfit mooning the camera. It was a side of my dad I had never seen, and it is now one of my favorite photos of him😄
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Those silly pictures are great!
Redlady0227@reddit
Both of my parents have been long gone for years. I wasn’t the least bit disturbed by anything I found in their personal belongings. They were also individuals with lives outside of being my parents. If either of my parents were alive right now I’d be more concerned with spending as much time as possible with them rather than anything else.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I wasn’t disturbed by any of the other stuff I found. I just didn’t need to see my parents doing THAT, you know? But yes, I’d love spending more time with them regardless.
rthander13@reddit
I would argue— get familiar with your parents home, where they store things, perhaps get photos and old memorabilia out while they’re still alive! Go through the memories WITH them, it’s a wonderful experience. Give them space to sort through their things and begin conceptualizing that their children will be doing it when they’re gone. Can provide integrity and autonomy to how they choose to leave things for loved ones to find, once they’re dead.
Sometimes people get warning and notice that their parents are approaching the end of their life. Others do not.
I’ve lost one parent thus far, and she was chronically ill for 25 years. We were able to be intentional about memories, photos, family heirlooms, what we keep and what we pitch in the garbage.
At this Xennial age, I highly recommend shifting towards intentionality with parents, to logistically prepare as best you (and they) are able.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
That’s great advice! I really wish I had done that. There’s so many pictures that have no meaning to me and I would have loved to hear the story behind them. Unfortunately, as I mentioned above, my dad kept his photos in his “hoarding” room so I had zero access to them.
Harkonnen_Dog@reddit
I’m good, I come from a broken home. There’s nothing to clean up. There’s no childhood home for me to return to.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Sorry man. But now you’ve discovered a silver lining!
SadApartment3023@reddit
OMG. This is something I never considered. You are a saint for sharing this deep wisdom.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
My pain for your gain!
ciccacicca@reddit
I learned this the hard way groping on the top shelf of moms closet for a flashlight when I was 12. It was not a flashlight.
thisisanalaia95@reddit
Was it an electric ear cleaner?
Quick_Commercial_166@reddit
Nice “Parenthood” reference.
bgva@reddit
It's been a very, very, very long time since I've seen this movie because that scene clearly went over my head as a child (as it prolly should've).
ciccacicca@reddit
Totally! Rewatched it as an adult and I can’t believe I regularly watched that movie as a little kid. Whoosh right over my head
ElegantGoose@reddit
The shit we watched in the 80s that we had no business watching was really crazy.
ponytailsandaviators@reddit
I was just having this convo with some friends earlier this week. "Grease" is WILDLY inappropriate when you understand all the jokes and innuendos.
YourOwnPunkyBrewster@reddit
The scene in Howard the Duck where she goes thru his wallet and pulls out a condom. Whoosh!
ElegantGoose@reddit
One of my favorite movies
Numerous-Release-773@reddit
Mine too! Classic
inxquve@reddit
It's kinda big.
Cricklewoodchick81@reddit
Processing img 7mnp88yr13ug1...
TrixieBastard@reddit
GIFs you can hear
especially when your ears are squeaky clean
TrixieBastard@reddit
10/10 reference
SolitudeWeeks@reddit
It was her play microphone.
StillOodelally3@reddit
My first thought! 😂
Dry-Astronaut-8640@reddit
Probably a salad mixxxer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjZRWNg8k_M
CrotalusHorridus@reddit
Neck massager
100YearsOfSolidTude@reddit
Well played, dirty rotten scoundrel.
KnifeFightAcademy@reddit
A fleshlight?
TrixieBastard@reddit
Vibrator, more like
Pump_N_Dump@reddit
Just became my Father’s legal Guardian. Had to put him in Assisted Living. The last 6 months have been the worst 6 months of my life.
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
I hear you. (I was my parent's co-legal guardian.) Nobody understands how life consuming it is until they go through it, and a lot of people our age haven't gotten there yet. It's not like in the movies, where the protagonist spends 5 minutes of the movie moving mom or dad into AL and then just resumes living a normal life. Oh no. But you know that already.
All I can tell you is that you will get your life back, eventually. You will feel like yourself again, eventually. Just getting mine back 5 years on. I didn't think I could ever feel carefree again, but I do.
In the meantime, take care of your health. Watch what you eat and drink. Don't stop exercising. A lot of caretakers go downhill physically. Make sure that when this is all over, you have a healthy body to come back to.
Don't trust the folks at the AL (even, and especially, the nice ones) with too much info about your family. There are some very surface-nice but petty people who work in senior living, and they will not hesitate to try to make trouble for you. Keep records of when you visit, when you take Dad out of the facility, etc.
Good luck. Like I said, as long as you don't run your body into the ground, there will be a time when this is all past you and you'll feel like yourself again.
Pump_N_Dump@reddit
Thank you. I needed to hear that. My health was slipping. Luckily I realized it and got myself back on track. I’m 44 and in a way kind of relieved this is happening now and not later in life. I do have one question. Why is it important to log your visits/ taking him out?
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I'm sorry. End of life care is really tough!
Bajovane@reddit
Oh dear!!! 🤣 That is too funny!
I’m sorry for your loss! I lost my dad when I was a kid and I dread the day I lose my mom.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Thanks! I hope you don’t lose her for many more years/decades
Lace_and_pearls@reddit
Sending you my thoughts and prayers… both for the loss of your parents and the trauma of learning about that side of them 😂😭😂😭🫣❤️
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I appreciate it…on both accounts!
General_Departure583@reddit
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Ladies man!
Ineedavodka2019@reddit
This is hilarious. I have not found anything like that in pictures from my parents estates. Thank god.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I’m jealous!
Secure-Force-9387@reddit
Mom died last year. While cleaning out her closet, my (adult) daughter found Mom's anal beads. Pretty sure my daughter is perma traumatized.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Maybe they were just a cat toy?
ArtsyRabb1t@reddit
Our friend found 2 boxes of well used BDSM equipment. We talk about opening a cleaning business to remove all these things first for your kids
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Good business plan!
BartletHarlot@reddit
Both my parents have died and I haven’t found anything untoward. BUT I have these vhs tapes from my dad that are marked by his old job, “Western Gear” and I can’t decide if I should get them digitized or not. I’d hate to miss out on video of him (I have none of either parent) but also, also, what if those tapes are not what they appear to be!
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
It’s one thing to see it and it another thing to pay to see it! Good luck!
munchonsomegrindage@reddit
When I was a teenager my friend's dad had a decent VHS porn collection that we would watch when they weren't home. Well one day I saw a tape labeled HOME VIDEOS that we hadn't seen yet, and I assumed it was some kind of amateur porn. The first image that came on screen was his parent's bed and I've never noped out of a porn video as fast as I did that day. So thankful that the tape wasn't stopped in the middle of the act. I mean, good for them but his parents definitely weren't the type you'd want to see naked.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Quick reflexes!
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
This goes for siblings, too. Not every camera memory card you come across is going to be innocent pictures of that trip to Ireland.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Can’t blame them for looking for that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow though.
picollo7@reddit
Lol. Omg my parents had genitals? No frickin way. You'd think in your 40s one wouldn't be such an uptight prude about bodies anymore. Puritanism is for pearl clutching old ladies, not us cool xennials. My parents were awful parents, but not because I saw them naked.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I’m not pearl clutching. I just didn’t want to see my dad’s genitals inside my mom’s genitals. I mean I guess it’s cool if you want to?
JaredUnzipped@reddit
Lost my mom to lung cancer fifteen years ago. She was only 51. A lifetime of smoking will do that to you. She couldn't ever quit.
wildplums@reddit
Did you read this whole post? Your innocent comment leads me to believe you did not
JaredUnzipped@reddit
Yeah, I read it. I know it sounds strange, but this post just made me realize that I don't even have normal family photos of my mom that are probably hidden somewhere in an album within my dad's fortress of junk... much less anything potentially scandalous.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
My dad had one "hoarding" room - I could barely open the door. But guess where I found these pictures that haunt my nightmares? Yup, in the stacks of hoarded junk. So cheer up, there's hope for you yet!
JaredUnzipped@reddit
If my Dad never cleans up his hoarding mess, I'm not dealing with it. I refuse. I know there are family heirlooms and photos in the house, but I wrote off the chance of ever seeing them again a long time ago.
I've got my siblings and they're all alive. They're worth more to me than any photo.
Alyx19@reddit
Genealogist here…one lesser known source of family photos can be anyone in your parent’s social circle who received holiday cards from them, in case you ever feel the need to look for pictures outside the hoard.
JaredUnzipped@reddit
They never sent Christmas cards, unfortunately. I'm the only one in my family who still performs that ritual. I write folks a lot.
Alyx19@reddit
Well I hope family photos find you in another way if you wish them to!
JaredUnzipped@reddit
Thank you. If it weren't for all of the photos I've taken over the past thirty years, there wouldn't be pictures of anyone. At least I have those.
ZorrosMommy@reddit
r/AgingParents
schmoolecka@reddit
The best possible advice I have for literally anyone, from my Rabbi father: look into direct-to-cremation services so you understand how they work. Private equity has bought up a significant amount of funeral homes and they will charge you for $10-15K before the funeral plot (sometimes up to $7K depending on many variables). They prey on your vulnerability to price gauge you. It is unconscionable to me that this is legal. Have an at-home service, get a local religious leader to help guide you if needed. Get multiple copies of the death certificate, you will need it for more things than you think - 10 is what he recommends. Sorry if this sounds crass but I’d like to think your parents wouldn’t want you to go into debt mourning their loss.
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
I've known several people who were cremated in recent years—it's around $4K, more if you want a fancy vessel. This is in the northeast, where prices are usually higher than the rest of the country.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Thankfully it was already taken care of. They traded relieving me of financial concerns with burdening me with their sexuality.
schmoolecka@reddit
Happy to hear they took care of that. There is a very funny podcast called “My Dad Wrote a Porno” that may make you feel less weird about your findings.
ploomyoctopus@reddit
I came across my dad's naked pictures when I was 16. He was wearing a tool belt, boots, and nothing else.
Then again, my dad was also a creep, so I guess that's about to be expected. My [dead] mom's boudoir pictures were much less traumatizing.
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
*Talks self out of a tasteless joke about the tool belt*
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Ooof! Sorry
cheap_mom@reddit
Some of our parents live in the digital age. My husband found that out fixing my father's computer for him. I plan to destroy it Office Space style when the time comes
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
That plan works until you're the estate executor and are looking for a file that could unlock some mystery about the estate.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Wise plan! My dad's computer had a browser history that made it highly unpleasant to use for accessing the internet.
cheap_mom@reddit
I'm sure that's the case as well, but this is apparently a homemade trove. My husband kindly did not share details
thisisanalaia95@reddit
When my dad died, I had the good sense to send my husband up to go through his bedroom items and box up anything worth keeping.
He later confirmed that it was a good thing I didn’t go into his nightstand 😂
YourOwnPunkyBrewster@reddit
I was just going to say—DON’T LOOK IN YOUR MOM’S NIGHTSTAND!! Lord help my kids if I die in a car crash today, and they have to go thru mine….!
JellyfishWoman@reddit
My dad had to move to a nursing home permanently. I started clearing out his DVD shelves they were packed two deep. I saw one of the titles and got my husband to clean out the rest.
Dulcinea80@reddit
When we moved my father in law into a retirement home we found several penis pumps and his computer had pretty much every virus out there....
Just-Try-2533@reddit
Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me (This Sort of Thing is my Bag, Baby)
TrixieBastard@reddit
By.... Austin Powers *raises eyebrow smugly*
General_Departure583@reddit
Ok_Breakfast5425@reddit
I got lucky I guess, after my mom died and my dad was movie to a home he only had two dvds. They were ones I got him for christmas a couple years earlier and they were unopened. I don't know why they bothered owning a dvd player and my mom suggested getting him some movies that year...
yungrii@reddit
My partner and I cleaned up my dad's house (died about 10 years back). We found an unlabeled black VHS.
It went immediately into the trash. Because I love myself.
EatsCrackers@reddit
You can’t regret throwing out something you didn’t even know what it was!
YoryiC@reddit
👆🏻this!!!
Tinyhulk27@reddit
Worked with an old lady (like 65ish 10 years ago) who kept a "vintage" dick pic from a old suitor in her purse so when she died her kids would find it.
Hilarious.
HappyFarmWitch@reddit
🏆
cataholicsanonymous@reddit
My idol
wildplums@reddit
I love her! lol
kristosnikos@reddit
I love that for her.
HappyFarmWitch@reddit
Yep, I've seen too much of my stepmom. 😂
Don_T_Blink@reddit
Maybe have your partner sift through them first? Just in case?
paulster2626@reddit
Oh man if that were me doing it for my wife… “Eww what’s this?” “Oh sorry, must have missed one 😊”
ChristinasWorldWyeth@reddit
Ugh, no! When we were engaged, the court needed my spouse’s birth certificate for the marriage license. My in-law’s were out of town, but they said to let myself in & it was in a firesafe box at the top of their closet. Folks, I opened the wrong box and to this day have trouble speaking to them without remembering the many, many toys and a copy of Debbie Does Dallas. 🤢My spouse thinks it’s hilarious.
Don_T_Blink@reddit
Better you than him! That's the sacrifices we make on the way.
ROUShunter@reddit
This is an excellent idea. We were going through my late FIL's photos and saw one that looked a bit scandalous, we decided at that point that I should go over them first just to save my husband the potential of seeing something he shouldn't.
sugr_magnolia@reddit
YES!!! I actually volunteered myself for the task of going through my late FIL's more personal things so his kids wouldn't have to be the ones looking at the more scandalous shit. I have mostly blocked it, but I don't know that my partner and his siblings could.
Makes me really appreciate that my parents have been doing a major clean out after FIL's unexpected passing.
Fabulous-South-9551@reddit
You can’t end the story there!! Was there something he shouldn’t have seen?
ROUShunter@reddit
Surprisingly (and thankfully) no. Honestly, I'd have a hard time looking my MIL in the eye if there were!
Scummbagg7@reddit
I lost both of mine before I hit 40
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I'm sorry. I lost my mom when I was 26. So that kind of added to the experience. "Wow, I haven't seen this many pictures of my mom in decades! Ooops, now I've seen too much."
Scummbagg7@reddit
Luckily my brother and I never came across any photos like that when cleaning the house out.
doremimi82@reddit
I found a condom from the 90s in my nana’s drawer. Grandpa passed in ‘85 🫠
alvinofdiaspar@reddit
At least she took safe sex seriously.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Maybe it was a time traveling condom?
Dry-Astronaut-8640@reddit
It sounds hilarious, until it happens to me.
I’ve long suspected that my parents were swingers. I hope never to find any solid proof of that.
To that end, I’ve make sure that certain folders on my hard drives are well marked as pornography. My kids won’t accidentally stumble onto anything like that when I die…
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
I keep my porn / personal letters encrypted. Nobody will ever accidentally find them. But they'll have multiple copies of files they can't read because I also keep backups.
alvinofdiaspar@reddit
Is it quantum ready? It might be as easy as cracking DVD encryption by the time they get hold of it.
temporary_bob@reddit
Same. Hidden encrypted drive. Unfortunately it's also where I keep passwords... Maybe I should make two drives...
Docautrisim2@reddit
I mark those folders as Roth IRA papers to ensure they open them
alvinofdiaspar@reddit
Diabolical! I bet they won’t ever forget about you!
TrixieBastard@reddit
Wendy-Windbag@reddit
I'd long suspected that of my parents too. Growing up they seemed to have somewhat revolving door of child-free friends that I definitely am suspicious about in retrospect. The solid proof is probably my younger sibling, but we don't talk about that.
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Were they born in Israel?
Grinzy@reddit
Speaking of this, y'all got plans for your browsing and social media history?
alvinofdiaspar@reddit
Thankfully no kids to worry about!
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
My browser and socials are clean AF
Grinzy@reddit
That beard is telling me otherwise 😅 jkjk
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
haha
frenzied-phallus@reddit
My wife’s aunt passed several months ago. She never married, never had kids, so we were in charge of all the estate stuff. Her aunt wasn’t a lonely woman, that’s for sure. Although she never had a partner in her life, she had plenty of toys to make up for it. Talk about a traumatizing estate cleaning. Lol.
alvinofdiaspar@reddit
User name checks out?
Senior-Garbage-09_10@reddit
reverendjesus1@reddit
CuriousLands@reddit
This post almost makes me glad mine split up when I was 15, lol.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
There really are some silver linings of being a child of divorce!
CuriousLands@reddit
I'll take it, lol
summerborn1983@reddit
After my dad passed and me and my brothers was getting his stuff together. I was the one who found his porno tapes😵🤣🤣
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I hope he wasn't the star of those tapes!
summerborn1983@reddit
I hope he wasn't either 🤣🤣🤣
throwawayhbgtop81@reddit
Ohhh I found my parents sex tape when I was 13.
Nothing I find when I have to clear out their house will faze me.
Unless my dad turns out to be a serial killer.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
You win! At least what I saw were only pictures.
throwawayhbgtop81@reddit
Ohhhhhh there were pcitures too, from their vacation to St. Marteen. They believed vacations were without kids, so....
I can't believe they got developed but it was the 90s and no one cared lol.
Like I said, very little will phase me when I actually have to clear their house although if we're being real, I am lazy as fuck, and I might just sell the house as is including contents and whatever might still be there can be someone else's problem.
MaestroLogical@reddit
For me it was a grainy early 90's camcorder video on a VHS that was labelled "Hillstreet Blues".
Thankfully it was so blurry and low res that I was able to nope out before too much damage was done as my mom was in the next room.
(I was combing through old VHS after dad passed to transfer home videos onto DVD.)
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Seeing an actual video tape of my parents would have given me the blues for sure.
Difficult_Claim612@reddit
Yeah I found my parents’ “private” photo album today going though what’s left of their stuff. Unfortunately my wife found it first
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
At least you have someone who bore witness to your pain.
Mission-Butterfly-86@reddit
Be careful of any and all usb drives as well
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
The IT guy at my work says that plugging in an unknown USB drive is like having unprotected sex. It might be okay, but you also might get a horrible virus.
Inspi@reddit
Also, be ready to help a parent out. When my mom died, I let myself into the house when I knew my dad wasn't home so I could remove her stash of wine bottles. He knows she liked a glass of wine, but never had a clue how many glasses, she hid it well. I knew though, and kept that secret for her because I know he is why she did it, honestly the only way to tolerate him for very long as he gets older.
You may also find out other secrets, or even unsavory things. Don't let that get to you (unless they were a secret mass murderer or something). They were the people you knew them as, and as they are in your memory. Just trash the stuff and move on. I learned a lot going through other relatives possessions that no one else knows, and will never know. We're all people, we all have flaws and secrets.
It is really hard to do in such an emotional moment, but it is important to remember it is "just stuff". There will be items with emotional attachment, that is to be expected. The rest is just things that need to be sorted through, same as cleaning out your own stuff.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Exactly!
Level_Improvement532@reddit
I crossed that rubicon when I was 15, but thanks for the heads up.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Oh no! That sounds really tough!
Level_Improvement532@reddit
Not that my parents passed. I just happened upon the homemade boudoir collection
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Oh! Well, in a sense your parents died the day you found out.
VectorJones@reddit
When my mom essentially kicked my dad out, we had the misfortune of discovering my dad's illicit love letters to and from an old flame who unbeknownst to us had rekindled a few years before. Needless to say, he died while still estranged. Not a pleasant time. Fortunately I didn't read any of them. In truth, the situation was way more illicit, but I'm trying to forget about that.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Yes, somethings are best forgotten. Hopefully the memory of these pictures is the first to go for me!
VectorJones@reddit
I'm sure there have been situations where a parent isn't of sound mind in their later years and thus forgets they have such things. Apart from that, you'd think people still in possession of their faculties would, for the sake of their kids and/or grand kids, toss that stuff out once their remaining years began to grow short. Or, at the very least, put that material in a clearly marked container that eludes to what's inside and warns them not to look.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
You would think!
myco_lion@reddit
I'll add, no matter how you feel, don't leave your siblings in the dark if you have them. Let them go through it with you and help you through the process.
Greed can cause you to lose more than just your parents. I picked through scraps just to come home with some vhs tapes, a box of trading cards, one rifle, a sword, and a whole lot of excuses about where everything went and why. My sisters told me to my face that they took it all because I got everything growing up. But they are the ones 15 and 11 years older than me. Not to mention everything I got was handed down to their children before I was done with it. I can't imagine being 20 years old and being jealous of a 5 year old and still holding on to it 35+ years later.
Anyways, there's way more to it but in the end just remember each of you experienced your parents differently and those experiences should be heard and respected.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
No siblings around. But yah, in my line of work I dealt with my fair share of siblings fighting over estates. It's horrible.
myco_lion@reddit
Dude, my sisters convinced my mom to put the estate in a trust in only their names after my dad died while my mother was grieving. When she died a few years later, everything was gone except the junk. All my dad's guns, his tools, his lawn mower, my mom's jewelry, my grandfather's purple heart, all gone. All I got was shrugs and my plastic tub of a few things. Dirty hoes.
I will say, the bright side here is the possibility the vhs tapes could be recordings of me singing and playing guitar when I was like 5 or 6. Could also be of me meeting "santa" in the living room but knowing he was Tony the neighbor lol. I haven't watched them yet because I'd basically rather have the hope I'm on them than watch them and find out it's my dad's porn stash or worse.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
That sucks! At least you got Schrodinger's VHS tapes out of it.
knotalady@reddit
My mom found my grandma's diaries after she died and found out she'd likely had an affair. Grandpa was having affairs throughout their marriage so no one blamed her. But it was quite shocking to learn. People have their secrets.
MrdnBrd19@reddit
Finding my dad's porn collection. Then getting dozens of emails from porn sites. Then getting mail from porn and toy catalogs. I don't know how the man had time for anything else with the amount of porn he was consuming.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Yikes!
CornishShaman@reddit
When my parents went my wife kindly offered to go though most of there stuff to keep me from being triggered (abuse) and she did confirm that she saw more of my parents than she wanted to see. Sad thing is i already knew the photos existed because you know. Its normal for your parents to tell you these things when your a kid. 😢
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Ooof! My mom overshared at times, but managed to keep it just vague enough.
Any_Ring_3818@reddit
Last fall I took my parents on a cruise with my wife and son. They played "The Newlywed Game" in the main auditorium. Now I know my parents had sex in the Ocean and in an Amtrak sleeping car. I only have 1 brother and we still dont know which of us was conceived where, since thats the only 2 times our parents ever had sex.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Well, you should start calling him choo-choo regardless.
HighGlutenTolerance@reddit
One of my parents died at 57 and the other last year at 79 and in retrospect, I thought it was horrible losing a parent so young but it was a lot easier than 20 years of fighting about finances and hoarding and unchecked mental illness with cognitive decline. Dealing with aging parents is horrible. I used to be mad at the parent that died at 57 for leaving me so soon but now I am so grateful I didn't have to take care of two aging parents. One was penance enough.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Same! Or nearly the same. Pros and cons of each I guess.
ChaucersDuchess@reddit
My dad passed last month and my mom is staying with me. We have a hoarding situation with their house so we are going to be hiring professionals to help us with going through everything. I pray no one sees anything too wild 😂
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Good luck!
Switchbladekitten@reddit
Oh god. New fear unlocked.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Sorry!
silverforest5@reddit
YUP.
A box of bedroom…items…and some topless pics were found. I screamed loud enough my cousin and sis came running from another room.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Way to spread the joy!
Appropriate-Neck-585@reddit
This correct. I...also don't want to talk about it.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Trauma bond!
Appropriate-Neck-585@reddit
🫱🏻🫲🏾
wtfworld22@reddit
I think I have the winner. I discovered an affair on my dad's cell phone after he died. Never told my mom who died a year. I let him take it to the grave and now I'm haunted by it. Never told anyone until now
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Yikes! That's a tough secret to carry.
Microdose81@reddit
Finally, some good advice.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I do what I can!
Callimingo@reddit
Mine are both gone, it's the absolute pits
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
It is! I hope you have a lot of fully clothed memories of them!
SmellenGold@reddit
Also be careful when you help your still alive parents with things on the internet. They do not clear their histories, and you may find out they are swingers at 80 and 83.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
That's a wrinkly surprise for sure!
SubstantialRemove967@reddit
My dad passed 7 years ago. We were looking through a little album he kept close to hand: his favorite pictures. Reminiscing.
Come to one page. What am I even looking at? Camera error? My mom is an alarming shade of red. I am concerned until I realize she is desperately attempting to hold back hysterical laughter.
"Oh my God I think that's from his colonoscopy."
In a random album on our living room coffee table. Know I am always with you. Here's my asshole.
The album was featured at his funeral. Completely untouched and with all content he chose to include.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
That's hilarious!
Truth_Seeker963@reddit
OMG, thankfully that didn’t happen to me, although we did find a lipstick vibrator lol
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I'll trade you!
HairyIce@reddit
That was NOT the warning I was expecting...but a valid warning nonetheless.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Glad to be of service!
TheMouthOfGod@reddit
Shut up! A lot of us lost our parent a long time ago
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Ok?
TrustAffectionate966@reddit
My father died almost 30 years ago. My stepfather croaked 8 years ago. Ma’ is still around, but she mostly plays Bejeweled and watches a ton of Reels and Tik Tok crap. She’s also a compulsive shopper and a bit of a hOarder ☠️
But she knows I’m not gonna bother sorting through things. I’ll pay a hauler to take it all away.
🧉🦄👌🏽
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Solid plan!
momogogi@reddit
It should bring you peace knowing they led a life full of love and getting it.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Sure, "peace" that's what we'll call it.
WarhammerRyan@reddit
Did your bedroom share a wall with your parents?
No? Lucky.
Yes - was your headboard near that wall because of the dumb layout of the house? No?? Lucky. -- yes? You know my pain, and I know yours.
Hashtag ChildhoodTraumaBond
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
My parents' headboard shared the same wall with my headboard. But they must have been sneaky, or I was oblivious, because I never heard anything traumatic. Thankfully they saved the trauma for after their deaths.
Admirable_Bank9927@reddit
Luckily the only photo I have is my mom snorting coke. I made a pledge to my close friends to scrub my place first when I'm gone.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
They sure did!
Bigcurt43@reddit
When my mom passed, we found a very large purse that my brother and I were shocked by.
When we put it in the trash bin for pick up, the bin starting vibrating away. It at least brought laughter in a bad week.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Exactly! As someone else commented above - if we don't laugh, we would vomit!
DarksunDaFirst@reddit
Been there, done that.
And mine are both still with us.
So just a lesson to all, this is a warning that is worth heeding at all times.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
At least I don't have to look my parents in the face after seeing what I saw. Blessings to you!
lecoqmako@reddit
When I was 14 I stumbled across a box of negatives. I knew that holding them to the light would allow me to view the image but I didn’t know how much holding my parents to the light would damage me.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
You held them up to the light so the darkness could fill your soul.
tevamom99@reddit
Did you know there used to be men’s brief underwear that had a sleeve for a penis that when the wearer put them on, made it look like the penis was an elephant’s trunk on its face …?!!
Ask me how I know (my dad died 14 years ago this weekend, yeah, there were a lot of pictures lol). It didn’t really bother me that much though because my parents were/are sex positive nudist hippies.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
That's hilarious! My parents were most definitely NOT nudist hippies. But apparently they were a lot more sex positive than they let on.
sugr_magnolia@reddit
I'm so sorry about your parents, my condolences. Keeping up a sense of humor can be helpful, but I hope you have a good support system for this type of loss - both mentally and physically. Sending you lots of love.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Thank you! I appreciate the concern, but I'm doing okay.
burnitdwn@reddit
Maternal Grandpa passed around 17 years ago, i miss him dearly. he had celebrated his 50th anniversary with my grandma a few years before he passed. he was very much like a father to me. I drank my first coffee with him, watched my first westerns with him, and he was the closet thing i ever had to a male role model. He loved my grandma, and programmed FORTRAN on punchcards on mainframes in the 60s.
Then i lost my mom, cancer, 2020, it crushed me, broke me emotionally. She went fast, and I spent as much time with her as I could. She was a Registered Nurse, and took care of so many people in her life. The cancer was a tumor in her leg, we thought she was gonna be fine after surgery, but, by then it was already stage 4 and chemo didn't help with a damn.
Then i lost my paternal grandparents, and very soon after, the man who abused my mom and biologically was my dad, i mourn my paternal grandparents, but, happy to see the man who abused my mom died alone and unloved. My siblings and I had cut off communication with him some years ago.
Just lost my Maternal Grandma in November, it was really hard, she was 92, and was like a second mom when I was a kid as well as when my mom was sick.. my mom took care of grandma when grandma fell and broke her hip. Grandma made a full recovery, and then took care of my mom when she was dying from cancer. It sucked, but, i have nothing but love for those women. Grandma lived as a widow for almost 17 years, but went on many vacations with all of her grandkids and greatgrandkids and we all got to spend holidays with her until her swift, but sad decline.
The universe can be cruel, but, there is also an overabundance of love and joy. Value whatever time you have with those you love. Enjoy the memory of the ones you lost. Do what you can to live in a way that they would be proud of, their influence and impact are not gone.
Take care of yourselves as well. Its so easy to fall sick and ignore the signs, but dont do the gen-x thing and ignore your health. Get it checked.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Good advice!
a-ha_partridge@reddit
In sixth grade my friend was over and we were alone in the house. She was telling me about finding her dad’s nudie mags under the mattress. Regretfully, we checked under my Mom’s together hoping for the same. Not the best idea looking back.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Curiosity killed the cat is a proverb for a reason.
hairballcouture@reddit
Already found them!
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
We should start a support group.
deowolf@reddit
Man, I’m so glad my kids never got to see my parents’ stash of porn.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
At first I read "sad" instead of "glad" and I was really confused...yet intrigued at what kind of special porn stash your parents had if you wanted to share it with your kids. haha
wildplums@reddit
Oh this is so funny and so sad all at once! I’m sorry for your loss, and, I’m sorry for your gain (of knowledge).
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Thank you! And yes, I truly deserve ALL of the condolences. It was a terrible day to have functioning eyeballs.
Wendy-Windbag@reddit
Eh, my parents had a whole photo album with professional pics from their honeymoon in the Poconos. Heart-shaped tub, strategic bubbles and all. I posted some of them on Facebook forever ago, because if you can't laugh, you'll vomit.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Have you ever vomited while laughing? Sounds like we found the secret sauce!
smallstories80@reddit
When I was cleaning out my dad's computer after his death I found his "folders" 🫣
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
He didn't have folders, but he also never learned how to clear his browser or use incognito mode.
Nole_Nurse00@reddit
Already know more than I ever wanted to when my parents computer got a “virus” and my hubs fixed it. That being said this is why you have a friend that comes and cleans your shit our before your kids can find it.
sunnyd311@reddit
I really was expecting this post to go a whole other direction!! Haha!
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I was expecting my photo viewing experience to go a whole other direction. Yet here we are!
mitochondrionolympus@reddit
Found my parents spicy pictures when I was a kid. That’s when I learned if it wasn’t in an album I didn’t want to see it.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Wise advice!
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
I'm sorry for your losses and appreciate the laugh. My grandmother and my mother both told me to just take their bedside tables and toss them. The entire thing. Don't pass go, don't look for the keys.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Thanks. In retrospect, I should have tossed the whole house. The meager inheritance was not worth what my eyeballs endured.
momogogi@reddit
This is legitimately a great idea and now I’m going to update my will.
SplakyD@reddit
I'm sorry that your parents, but you made me spit beer out and some came out my nose laughing.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
I'm glad my trauma can bring joy to others! It's kind of healing actually.
skullsnunicorns@reddit
Found my ex’s sex swing under his bed, as me and our daughter were cleaning out his room. Lordy did I mutter some words to him on my way to the trash can…
Top-Wolverine-8684@reddit
I was house sitting for my grandparents when I was 19 and went to borrow a pair of socks from my grandma's sock drawer, and found a gigantic neon green vibrator. I've already been traumatized.
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Look on the bright side, at least you didn't find pictures of her using it, right?
momofwon@reddit
Been there. I just put the item back where I found it and left. It seemed like the right thing to do?
chudock74@reddit
Until you have to go back and deal with it later because you are cleaning out their house to put it on the market!
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
Bingo!
ohio2az@reddit
Post or it didn't happen!
Sergio55@reddit (OP)
So you're telling me if I don't post the pics, the mental scars will go away? Deal!
00k5mp@reddit
I found my Dad's porn stash on beta max back in the early 90s, I've been preparing for 3 decades.
willfully_slow@reddit
A couple of years before my mother died, she threw away all the things she didn’t want or needed. About a container full. Made it very easy to clear out the house after she died
Im_Ashe_Man@reddit
My parents are approaching 80 and in relatively good health. I feel like they are going to outlive me.
LiteBrightSprite@reddit
I was lucky enough to find the "taxes" folder while my dad is still alive.
I should have known better, that man doesn't pay taxes
Formal-Telephone5146@reddit
When my mom died and the Cops/paramedics came my dads Weed plants ( My parents big time stoners) was all out in the living room but because of the situation we not thinking. The Cops came I opened the door he seen the plants and said who’s are these? My dad straight pointed to my mom Corpse and said hers Me and My brother was literally just crying our eyes out. We heard that and started cracking up laughing Corner asked us questions took my moms body away Cop didnt say anything else about it
mlo9109@reddit
Okay, so I officially give any of my loved one's permission to do this when I go. They're her pills, officer, not mine.
kingskrossing@reddit
When I was a teenager I found a letter my mom wrote to my dad while he was in Vietnam. It had a funny story in it about mom trying to return one of their wedding gifts. I told my dad that I found the letter and read it. He kinda freaked out and told me not to read any more of his letters from Vietnam. My parents are 87 and 80 years old. When there time comes I’m not sure what I’m going to do with the box of letters. I’ve already found some gory pictures of VC.
dseanATX@reddit
When I was 14, my great uncle died without any having any children, but my dad was very close to him in his old age. My dad offered me $100 to clean out his condo so my grandma (his youngest sister) could move in. He was a veteran of the Asia-Pacific theater during WWII and apparently developed some specific interests that 14-year-old me wasn't prepared for.
Coozie@reddit
I found some of my great grandma’s actual dance cards, with pencils attached and my grandpa’s WWII service papers. Yall family was nasty 🤣🤣🤣
One time I heard my dad say the p word and I wanted to sink thru the earth and die.
Rurumo666@reddit
Oh yeah, so many from that generation were swingers and loved to get weird.
pawogub@reddit
The day of my dad’s funeral was the day I learned he used to be a regular at a nude beach. Had a photo album of just beach photos and yes he and the others were nude in all of them.
Forever_Forgotten@reddit
I am so afraid of stumbling upon my father’s porn collection.
H3lls_B3ll3@reddit
I have a sultry picture of my grandmother on her honeymoon. It's tasteful and clothed, but only just. I love that picture.
klg78@reddit
My brother and I found a binder of letters our Dad sent to other people. For some reason he kept copies of what he sent. Some of them were pretty bad. We call it the smut book.
Pankosmanko@reddit
I helped a friend clear out their dad’s home. Lots of toys to be found
ineffable_my_dear@reddit
Oof. My dads are dead and my mom is dead to me. I’m glad this is someone else’s problem. 😂
(I do have non-sexual artsy photos of my dad in full body paint when he was around 20 and seeing those was more than enough for a lifetime)
DjScenester@reddit
I already went through my dad’s computer… yikes
Fabulous-South-9551@reddit
I was a bored only child latchkey kid and nosy as hell. I would go through random boxes to see what things were in there and one time I found a bunch of letters written between my mom and dad. They were cheating on both of their spouses at the time (I didn’t find out until later). There were some porno magazine cuttings in there of someone who looked a lot like my mother. I didn’t think it was her at the time bc in my mind they were very a nice catholic couple with a lot of church friends and my mom would never take naked photos and put them in a magazine! Now that I reflect on that, it could totally be her. I hope they got rid of that box already.
Portlander@reddit
Additionally, some folders are better left unopened on their computers. There are things no child should have to see their parents doing in some them.
elsie78@reddit
I found toys. And polaroids.