How are we giving monetary gifts?

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CitizenChatt@reddit

Big Daddy's Liquor Store gift cards 😅

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Mouse-Direct@reddit

Just mailed my son’s announcements last Friday. I included a card with a QR code for his dorm wishlist and his Venmo for cash gifts. He’s up $300 so far.

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Boy, things sure have changed since I graduated! I didn’t receive ( or expect any gifts)! I gave my boyfriend the book “Oh the Places You’ll Go”. But he’d never ask for anything. That seems tacky and I’m not judging your son cuz I’m sure that’s what everyone is doing.

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Mouse-Direct@reddit

I graduated in 1988. A graduation announcement is, just like a wedding invitation or baby shower invitation, an occasion that allows for gift giving. No gifts are expected ever yet all gifts are welcomed and received with a thank you card. In 1988, monetary gifts were the norm, and I got several hundred dollars (large family, and I was an honors graduate).

Gift registries for weddings, showers, house warmings, and graduations have been available at Walmart, Target, and Amazon for at least 15 years. You can think it’s tacky all you’d like, but he’ll still get his dorm room furnished with items everyone from grandma on her fixed income to the chair of my department can afford, and they don’t have to call and ask me what he needs.

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SpacerCat@reddit

No. An announcement is an announcement. It is not a gift grab. You shouldn’t expect gifts if you send announcements. If someone asks for gift ideas after receiving the announcement, then a wish list or registry is ok to share. This is etiquette 101.

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Silly-Shoulder-6257@reddit

Exactly, an announcement is just an announcement. But a registry is asking for gifts and now normalized for weddings and baby showers. I’m referring to the amazon wishlists for all and any occasions. And receiving hundreds of dollars in cash for graduation is not something I’ve ever heard of but if they want to give it fine but don’t ask. A registry is asking and they weren’t even given a meal like in a shower or wedding. And they are not such close family and friends. Just my opinion. ( but also everyone else’s opinion back in my day) I’m sure times have changed and I’d be doing what everyone else is doing.

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Mouse-Direct@reddit

How do you know it's not close family and friends? That's a big assumption. You know what you do with a graduation announcement for a ceremony you don't plan to attend nor acknowledge with a gift? You toss it. And no one cares. It's an announcement, not a blood oath to the Godfather.

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Silly-Shoulder-6257@reddit

Omg! I wasn’t even referring to you. Just the whole Amazon registry idea and the giving of large amounts of cash. I said times have changed and ok Tbf I did say tacky but meaning asking for money seems tacky. Having a registry, especially when it’s common now, is not. Relax!

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Mouse-Direct@reddit

Gotcha. I’m just stunned at Gen-X’s reaction to registries and wishlists on this post since my kid was born in 2008 and I’ve been buying for nieces and nephews and friends’ kids with them since at least 1998.

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Mouse-Direct@reddit

Yes. 30-40 years ago, you’d be correct. It’s a digital age. People have been putting registry notices in wedding invitations since the 80s. I don’t expect gifts; I’m merely making it easier for those who wish to give them. People no longer have the time to pretend as if they don’t expect wedding gifts while simultaneously putting notices in their newspaper wedding announcement that they’re registered at Tiffany’s AND having a gift table at the wedding. It’s insincere B.S. I don’t expect anyone to give gifts, but for those who would LIKE to, I made sure there were several very inexpensive options and that people know his dorm room accessories are purple, pink, and light green. It was also a soft launch of the fact that he’s gay to our wider social circle.

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SpacerCat@reddit

Just because people do it, doesn’t mean it follows the rules of etiquette. People are rude all the time. It’s a choice.

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Silly-Shoulder-6257@reddit

I specifically said that I wasn’t judging and you still got offended! Wtf? Yeah I get it, it’s convenient and I know that registries are normal for weddings. Maybe if I were to receive a cash gift it would be from my parents. But if my grandparents gave me a cash gift it would be like $20. They were immigrants. aunts and uncles would give if we were close but unfortunately we weren’t. But $100 seems like a lot for a non blood relative. Anyway, putting the money ( cash, check, or gift card) in a card is more personal than Venmo. Amazon has puzzles where you can put those things inside and they have to solve the puzzle in order to get to the gift. That seems fun. I’ve seen “cash cakes” on Pinterest.

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Mouse-Direct@reddit

Yeah, there’s just no way to not find “tacky” inoffensive.

And you’re right, it does make a difference where you’re from and what the norm is. My parents were well off. My son’s parents are college professors.

I’ve also given friends’ kids fun cash gifts from Pinterest, but kids don’t want cash anymore, at least the ones I know. They want money they can access with their phones. It’s a different world than even 10 years ago.

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shawncollins512@reddit

I give Amazon gift cards and the notification goes to their email so no risk of a card being intercepted in the mail.

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SpacerCat@reddit

Ask the parent of the grad for the kids Venmo and send a card as well. They will appreciate both.

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TraditionalBackspace@reddit

Cash is more personal if given face to face IMO. However, they will be very happy to have it no matter how it comes.

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Pattycakes1966@reddit

If I see them face to face, then cash. Otherwise I think Venmo is the way.

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RedditWidow@reddit

I never mail cash or gift cards, they can be lost or stolen. I used to use PayPal back in the day but now all the kids seem to like Venmo. If I don't know their Venmo, I'll ask them or their parents.

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ExtraAd7611@reddit

The classy thing to do is to shake the grad's hand while discreetly palming him or her $100.

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No-Elk-6200@reddit

Must literally everything be vetted and checked with the online consensus? How did you make it this old without being able to make some decisions on your own?

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TraditionalEgg3804@reddit (OP)

🙄 So scrolling to other posts didn’t seem like an option, huh? I was asking because I am curious if there is a more modern way.

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No-Elk-6200@reddit

Ok let me help you. If you want a more modern way, you can send a gift card, either physical or digital. What if you don’t know the email address for a digital one? You could try asking the recipient. If you don’t want to do that, could you ask someone who knows the recipient? Something like this: “Carol, I would love to send Timmy a gift card, but I don’t know his email address. Could you provide it to me?”

Then you have electronic payments. But you’re probably asking yourself, “what if I don’t know Timmy’s preferred electronic payment method? I’m stuck now. I better do another Reddit post!” Not so fast! The same trick I mentioned above where you ask Timmy or Carol could effectively apply in this situation as well!

Now, cash is a little more old fashioned, but it spends just like money. This one is trickier, because you only have the physical option. In this case, your best bet would be to buy a greeting card and put cash in there. But the downside is that now Timmy has to figure out what to do with cash. “Cash? Can you even do anything with this?” That will have to be a post for his Gen Z sub.

There’s also crypto, but I think that might be too advanced.

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Mouse-Direct@reddit

It’s a valid question. Kids don’t know what to do with cash these days. My son got $500 from grandma for Christmas and was nervous and stressed until he could get it deposited to his account and access it via Venmo or debit card.

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No-Elk-6200@reddit

Sounds like he knew what to do with cash.

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Lopsided_Tomatillo27@reddit

You could go old school and send a check. These days you can easily deposit them with your phone, so they’re easy to deal with.

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CrankyDoo@reddit

That’s exactly how we did it. When my niece graduated college a couple years ago I sent her a $200 check. I don’t think she had any complaints about the inconvenience of getting it in the form of a paper check. If our postal service wasn’t so full of thieves I’d send cash…

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bizzylearning@reddit

Most of the young kids we know have Venmo or CashApp. The comments you send with payment for Venmo are visible to others, and they have a BLAST with those. It's pretty entertaining.

If we're sending straight to another bank account, we use Zelle.

For Quinceaneras, it's more fun to get physical money inside the card, so we still do that.

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No_File1836@reddit

I ask the recipient what they’d would want.

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Kitchen-Apricot-4987@reddit

Card + Cash for the kids who I will see either at their graduation party or their college send-off party.

For the out-of-area graduates, I contact a parent and ask for the graduate's Venmo or Zelle.

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jaxbravesfan@reddit

I used to give cash in a card. But most kids these days, in my experience, don’t want to deal with cash. When my daughter’s were in high school, whenever someone would give them cash, they’d give it to me and have me Venmo them the money from my account, and then I’d just put the cash in my wallet and spend it at places I’d normally use Apple Pay or my debit card. My youngest daughter graduated high school last year and she held on to the cash she received for probably six months before she went to the bank and deposited it into her savings account.

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JD_tubeguy@reddit

If you're giving it in person cash is fine mailing it I'd do some sort of gift card.

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KimBrrr1975@reddit

it's hard honestly 😂 When our kid gets cash, she gives it to me and I venmo her. We live rurally so our nearest bank branch is 50 miles away (had a local one but they closed). Her cash just becomes my casino money.

A check would be easier than cash, because at least that is easy to mobile deposit. Gift cards, too. I always tell my kids to keep a little cash on them for emergencies. Sometimes cashless is just down due to an outage or machine malfunction etc. So they all carry $20-50, but otherwise, they don't use cash at all.

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