How do you handle being shouted at aggressively by a stranger in the street?
Posted by CreepyButterfly3@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 58 comments
Myself and partner were walking our dog today.
From behind us, we heard someone shouting. We turned round and it was a man, roughly in his 20’s.
He was on his own and either under the influence of alcohol/ drugs or unwell.
He was shouting lots of absolute nonsense, at this point focusing on, in his own words, “people who don’t belong in this country”.
None of this was at first directed at us.
We slowed down and stopped to let him past as he was quite intimidating.
When he passed, he walked about 10 meters ahead and then sat on a wall whilst still shouting. We walked past and he got up to follow us.
His shouting then became directed at us and he continued to follow us. At this point I stopped, turned round and raised my voice loudly to almost shouting level and stated “Stop following us”
This seemed to shock him at first and he moved back but as we set off he once again followed us and became very threatening.
I again had to stop and shout at him “Go away” and “move back” a couple of times.
Eventually he walked away and made a pretend phone call (he had no phone) to someone asking them to come and sort us out.
Neither of us had a phone, passers by didn’t want to intervene (I don’t blame them) and looked terrified.
He eventually veered off and continued shouting at anything and anyone in his path, kicking bins and knocking objects in his way over.
How do other people handle situations like this?
RockasaurusFlex@reddit
Have a phone.
ActionBirbie@reddit
You did about as well as could be expected.
Advocate for harsher punishment for junkies, is just about the only other thing.
Joe_Kinincha@reddit
Or, maybe, better mental healthcare for junkies, so they don’t have to be junkies?
UltraFab@reddit
No eye contact, keep walking. If they can't get a reaction they move on. Shouting back makes it unclear who is the crazy.
GourangaPlusPlus@reddit
It helps to shout "I'm not crazy" repeatedly to make it clear
PKblaze@reddit
Generally I'd ignore someone acting like that. If they kept following me I'd give a warning and threaten to call the police, or failing that, if my phone wasnt on me/was dead, threaten them if they don't back off.
theoneandonlyvesper@reddit
Literally walk as if they don’t exist if you acknowledge them they will feed off your energy.
Brookiekathy@reddit
Like Colin Robinson
lucylous2@reddit
This is the worst ive had it a few times waiting for the bus home from uni when theres literally no escape. You just have to pray somebody else comes that they can pester and act busy/awkward smile 😭😭
okiadmit@reddit
Well, I'm genuinely insane these days, and they can see that hence never bothering with me 😅 these days especially
WhatsThePlanPhil95@reddit
Hmm. There are three main characters in this story and not one had a phone? In 2026?
helpmaboabjings@reddit
It's genuinely one of those things that really shock you and thankfully some people stay cool like you did.
I remember being on the bus years ago going through a bit of a rougher part of Edinburgh called Wester Hailes and the bus was packed.
There was a very hyperactive boy who was jumping up and down on his seat. The dad was giggling away with encouragement.
I dunno what happened but a lady sitting with her back to the kid asked the dad politely if he could stop his son from hitting her (not punching but think he kept touching her shoulders in his hyperactive fit). I kid you not, the dad absolutely screamed in her face about how the kid had ADHD and couldn't help it.
Nobody and including me said a word; everyone was in absolute shock at the sheer volume and how sudden it was. The bus was packed.
The guy got off at the next stop and probably felt pretty justified in screaming in a woman's face.
Joe_Kinincha@reddit
There’s a guy lives round the corner from me. He’s not well. I don’t think he’s got a support network. I feel sorry for him.
A while back he came across my wife and daughter walking home and started screaming “c*nts” and throwing stones at them.
If I see him behaving violently to anyone again I will tell him to stop, and that if I ever see him behaving violently again I will break both his arms and leave him bleeding in the street.
Yeah, yeah, I know. Armchair warrior. Two wrongs don’t make a right. He needs help not physical abuse.
Still going to.
oscarx-ray@reddit
So your plan to protect people like your wife and daughter is... to commit premeditated GBH on an unwell person, and face up to 16 years in prison, away from them? Good plan!
Joe_Kinincha@reddit
Everyone I live with has complex mental health issues. Clearly you were not in a position to know this, and you may well feel it’s not relevant, which is fair, or even that given my daily insight into how fucking hard the world is to navigate for people with mental health issues, I should be inclined to sympathy.
I spend a lot of my life trying to make a world in which the deck is thoroughly stacked against them play out for the people for whom I am responsible.
I genuinely have not got the time to provide a positive intervention for some other poor bastard who needs help. I’m not saying I’m going after him. If he goes about his life peacefully, that’s the best outcome. I’ll happily step out the way every time as he pushes his shopping trolley up and down the road. I’m saying he gets fair warning if he doesn’t go about his life peacefully.
Joe_Kinincha@reddit
Everyone I live with has complex mental health issues. Clearly you were not in a position to know this, and you may well feel it’s not relevant, which is fair, or even that given my daily insight into how fucking hard the world is to navigate for people with mental health issues, I should be inclined to sympathy.
I spend a lot of my life trying to make a world in which the deck is thoroughly stacked against them play out for the people for whom I am responsible.
I genuinely have not got the time to provide a positive intervention for some other poor bastard who needs help. I’m not saying I’m going after him. If he goes about his life peacefully, that’s the best outcome. I’ll happily step out the way every time as he pushes his shopping trolley up and down the road. I’m saying he gets fair warning if he doesn’t go about his life peacefully.
Old-Fortune-6695@reddit
With a welcoming fist of encouragement to a more polite future
LoccyDaBorg@reddit
I think you handled it moderately well.
Ignore until you can ignore no more, then take no shit.
I might have escalated, confronted with the fake phone call. "Can I use that hand to make a calm when you're done?", but that probably wouldn't have helped, and you just leaving him to it was the right course of action.
Ten out of ten, would use you as an exemplar when dealing with the local loony again.
notspringsomnia@reddit
If it’s generic aggression and not identity motivated (ie shouting at a protective characteristic such as religion, race etc) I just assume the person is distressed and don’t react and move on. If it’s personal/towards a protected characteristic (I’m disabled and a woman, and have had abuse shouted at me about these two things) I will confront the person or at the very least film what happened so I can use for evidence in reporting.
GodAtum@reddit
If he got within my circle of reaction I’d deck him
Mr_Coastliner@reddit
I gave a fully peaceful answer but the last resort in my comment was the same as your suggestion. Reddit removed my comment and gave my account a warning! Apparently it's only an acceptable response if you use slang for it :P
chrisxxviv@reddit
The same thing happened to me a while ago, but I got a 3 day ban, when I replied to a post saying that I was longful of the old days when this behaviour wasn't tolerated and an aggressive mouth breather would have a sandwich of knuckles placed firmly upon their chin. Or words to those effect... 🙃
Mr_Coastliner@reddit
Not gonna lie, I was waiting for this to turn in to 'Reddit removed this comment' then a second response from you after 3 days
chrisxxviv@reddit
😂😂 I did think that was going to happen to be fair! I had to write that comment a couple of times because it kept giving me a warning about the rules 🤦🏼♂️😂
chrisxxviv@reddit
😂😂 I did think that was going to happen to be fair! I had to write that comment a couple of times because it kept giving me a warning about the rules 🤦🏼♂️😂
Severus_1987@reddit
I enjoyed this.
CurrentSandwich541@reddit
It's usually best to just keep walking and don't show that you even noticed them while still keeping your wits about you. Generally they'll just find someone else to bother if you don't engage.
If they're persistent then you should firmly stand your ground as you did.
You should always be careful though because people not in their right mind are likely to act irrationally. There's also thw risk of them being armed.
Mortiis07@reddit
What should I do if someone passes a shouty man onto me because they kept walking until they could get rid of him?
DearDegree7610@reddit
Overwhelming stimulus followed by rapid retreat has worked for me many times. Someone puts it on you, you offer them “what they’re asking for” immediately, loud and sharp, and then before theyve managed to react you fuck em iff
CurrentSandwich541@reddit
Keep walking and pass him on to the next person. The cycle will continue until he passes out from whatever drugs he took 😂
FornyHucker22@reddit
Depends if they are a little shit or a big shit 👀
Nannyhirer@reddit
Make myself as small and invisible looking as possible don’t acknowledge. Definitely no eye contact.
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
It happens so exceptionally rarely that I've never really though about it.
The last time it happened, many years ago, I squared up (even though I've never been in a proper fight in my life) and the guy said sorry and we moved on.
LegolasleChat@reddit
Ha that takes balls 😅 I bet your other half was suitably impressed though!
PolarLocalCallingSvc@reddit
She wasn't there.
And I was fucking bricking it.
PerfectPeaPlant@reddit
De escalate as best as you can and get to a shop or a building where you can shelter. If you have to knock on a strangers door and ask them to call police.
Get to safety BEFORE you make the call. Most shops and pubs will help you in these circumstances.
xxxxxxxxxooxxxxxxxxx@reddit
What can you really do with people like this?
You did beat you could.
Don’t acknowledge, of they get in your personal space tell them to fuck off, if they get violent be prepared to use force to defend yourself.
There’s not reasoning with this kind of person.
chayatalisesilver@reddit
I had this EXACT same thing happen to me today, wondering if it’s the same person!
ben_jamin_h@reddit
I live near a halfway house for recovering drug addicts, so I have my fair share of these kinds of interactions. Most of the time, I completely blank them, no eye contact, not even looking in their direction at all (but keeping an eye on them indirectly). Basically stare right past them and keep walking. Never stop, never hesitate, NEVER ENGAGE.
When this occasionally fails, there are a couple of phrases that seem to work to get rid of weirdos pretty quickly. I learned one from a Reddit post about a woman who was getting harassed by men and found a magic phrase, which is "I GOT SHIT TO DO!" - Simultaneously communicates that you are in a hurry, not to be fucked with and slightly unhinged.
The other one which works pretty well for me as a bald, bearded, 40 year old guy, but may not work for everyone, is a very simple "FUCK OFF!" - Works pretty well with a good hard stare and a small forward step as if you're about to lamp them.
May also get your head kicked in depending just how mental they are.
Most of the time, these weirdos are just looking to rile you up and feel a bit of power, if you demonstrate that you will not be intimidated, they will pick an easier victim.
Plenty-Spell9353@reddit
I usually offer to fight people. Probably a terrible idea but it's what I do. I don't do flight, only fight, that's my natural response. I'm a woman, 5ft2 50kg but I lift weights and can pack a punch. I have faith in myself and in the past I've proved successful. Two outcomes have happened so far: they run away or they punch me, then I punch them back. Last person that tried it I broke their nose and gave them two black eyes with one punch. Aim for the nose. I had a red mark on my check but it didn't hurt.
I bought a self defense weapon, now it's a legal item for some things but it's not legal to use it for self defence. I don't care. Knife and gun crime is happening too close to home and you bet your ass I'm fighting back. Sorry if this wasn't the response you wanted but it's the truth. You need to know how to defend yourself. Running isn't always going to work.
Maleficent-Win-6520@reddit
Start recording on your phone and dial 999
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
This is the best answer.
The police are best equipped to manage a situation like that and if further support is needed they can access it quicker than we can.
ToastedCrumpet@reddit
Weird neither of you had phones.
Generally I’d ignore them, or respond when necessary as you did. Having a phone would be useful/necessary should things escalate
Any_Suggestion7619@reddit
I used to live near two facilities for people with mental health and addiction issues. One was secure the other wasn’t We used to have the odd person wondering around, shouting abusive slurs, naked, intoxicated or acting in threatening ways.
Best thing to do is stay in very public areas if possible. Enter a shop or pub or whatever was around. Call the police.
Th polio don’t always respond right away except for the time there was a scantly clad woman, walking down the middle of a busy road waving her fist at the cars passing her.
Just remain calm, don’t engage and seek out people and safety.
Mr_Coastliner@reddit
If they were drunk then typically just ignore them as you can't expect them to react rationally if you respond/ they could take anything as a reason to escalate. If they are adamant to get a reaction I usually ask them some sort of question to change the topic like what team they support (then easier to just say me too after the answer as they may see you as an ally after) or what's the best pub in the town.
If the above doesn't work, or you walk in to a shop and they are still following you/ being aggressive and looking likely to start a fight then I think a pre-emptive hook to the jaw is well deserved. Would rather that than risk them hitting first potentially leaving me with the inability to protect my partner from them.
Bastrato@reddit
If he was at distance I'd ignore him. Middle distance tell him to go fuck himself. Get to close and I'd bang him out, particularly if I'm with my wife or daughter.
Youppi27@reddit
Just assume they're not right in the head. You'll feel no need to engage.
That_Clock3591@reddit
Should've decked the cunt, that usually stops them
DrZonino2022@reddit
You need a bird whistle, Fast Show style
Astonednerd@reddit
Depends on distance. If they're reasonably far away I've just ignored them in the past. They usually find something else to shout at quite quickly though. In your situation where they're much closer though probably the same as you, be firm but dont antagonise.
International-Wear57@reddit
Such a shame of the anti-social behaviour we get sometimes in the UK. I never know how to handle it. I generally try to distance, but I’d react like how you did if he tried to follow us.
I once got shoved by a junkie randomly, walking to uni.
eyesonly456@reddit
I don't know what drugs are been taken at the moment but this has happened to a few people I know and it's happened to myself as well. The shop I was going into ended up calling the police as he was terrifying the customers
The statements they say make no sense it's like they are imagining some kind of attack.
ExplodingDogs82@reddit
Tell ‘em to grow up
ExplodingDogs82@reddit
Btw - sounds as though you handled it perfectly. Not everyone can keep their cool …like me. My poor wife says that I’m a knife wallet in waiting!
Adept-Flounder-133@reddit
Always carry a phone wity you
Adorable_Week7181@reddit
Pretty much the same as you; don’t take any shit but don’t antagonise mainly because there are so many idiots with knives about it’s not worth the risk.
Mr_Bumcrest@reddit
Like you did
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