How would you want your student to tell you they're leaving you?

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Mrs_Fagina@reddit

John Deere letter, right out of the blue

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If a business. You don’t have to beat around the bush. They are not doing you any favors, you are paying for a service and if they are not providing it go somewhere else. So tell them straight and to the point.

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NYPuppers@reddit

I would probably just ghost until they ask and then when they check in to see when you want to fly again I would say I've actually been doing a few lessons with the other instructor and its been going pretty well but will keep them posted, and then ghost again

Private is not the same thing as instrument - it is a lot more focused on ground education, pre-flight planning, etc. You can't just show up, head to the practice area and practice stuff without a plan. I spent 10x more time on non-flight training with my instructor on instrument than i did with my PPL instructor.

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diamonddealer@reddit

Ghosting is virtually never the right way to handle anything.

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NYPuppers@reddit

It's not harming the original instructor and leaves the relationship open to future flight together in case the new instructor doesnt work out. I dont think everything needs to be a huge conversation.

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diamonddealer@reddit

It IS harming the instructor. He's keeping time slots open for you, devoting mental bandwidth to thinking about your training, and doing work in the background for you.

Also, instructors are people too. Have you ever been ghosted? How did it feel? Not awesome, right? So why do that do someone else?

Just have the conversation like an adult. If you don't have the maturity to have a slightly unpleasant two minute conversation, you don't have the maturity to fly an airplane.

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NYPuppers@reddit

- i said if the instructor was holding space on their calendar not to ghost

- i think its silly to get worked up about being ghosted in a professional capacity

- i dont think its "mature" to have a big break up conversation - OP may change their mind, relationships are fluid, people are different (case in point, I wouldnt care if a client left, and in normal world adults dont formally notify businesses every time they use a competitor)

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diamonddealer@reddit

Well, the sub doesn't seem to agree with you.

Personally, I think ghosting someone in a professional context is a sign of weakness. You're too nervous to have a simple, direct conversation, for fear of confrontation, so you disrespect the other party by ghosting them. It's not OK.

But that's just my $0.02.

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deer_god11@reddit

D1 ragebaiter

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NYPuppers@reddit

Not trying to ragebait. Just dont agree we are all in high school and need to have formal arrangements and break ups. CFIs ditch students all of the time when a job offer comes up, when their schedule makes it inconvenient, etc. OPs CFI cant even be bothered to do sit downs with them. Who cares?

If you are a good CFI and foster good student relationships, this isnt even an issue in the first place. If your student is in a place they would rather ghost you, you kind of deserve that.

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Mammoth_Impress_3108@reddit

Lol maybe if you become an instructor you’ll understand. I had a couple students leave me, nothing personal, but it still hurt.

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NYPuppers@reddit

We are all adults. I am not an instructor but I have lots of clients. Some use me for X thing, dont use me for Y thing, and come back for Z thing. We dont have a formal break up when it comes to Y thing, and often they dont talk to me about Y thing in the first place. It's just business.

As I said, I wouldnt suggest ignoring a CFIs messages, but I dont think you owe a CFI a duty to tell them you wont be using them unless CFI is blocking off time for you. You arent breaking up, and there is always the chance you decide to use them again in the future.

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SP_Aman@reddit

Do not ghost

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Scary-Comfortable754@reddit

Make up a story about his breath or body odor- How can he argue with that?

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Specific_Gas4322@reddit

You own them zero explanation. It’s your money, change instructors and let that be the end of it.

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Skyhawk_26@reddit

I have changed instructors twice, once by choice and the 2nd time beche moved away.

First one was a great pilot but tried to take the Alpha role with me, like I was a 20 year old, and we clashed.

2nd one was also a great pilot and was really chill. Almost too chill actually. He would clean up after my mistakes and I actually preferred his leaving things alone and asking me what I was forgetting, so that I could learn. For instance, if I forgot to lean out af altitude, or while taxing, he would just reach over and do it for me.

Otherwise, he was a good guy and great instructor.

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eSUP80@reddit

I did this when going from IR to CPL.

just let the old instructor know that you’re wanting to fly with other instructors and expand your network and training. Thank him for his time and tell him you hope to fly together sometime again in the future.

Don’t ghost or act like a petulant child. We are all professionals working on our own careers.

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Fine_Fortune844@reddit

Im leaving off the “hope to fly together in the future” if I dont mean it lol. Otherwise I definitely agree with this suggestion.

As an instructor - I realize I am not a good fit for everyone. Just let me know so I know you’re good and move on with your training. You pay me for a service. You don’t like the service I support your choice to find a better fit.

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KITTYONFYRE@reddit

Im leaving off the “hope to fly together in the future” if I dont mean it lol.

seriously. why tell a blatant lie? just say something else instead lol

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Fine_Fortune844@reddit

Agreed - have you met Midwest people? Direct communication is not a strong suit.

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shaftman14@reddit

“I like to learn around.”

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PropToThePeople_FMY@reddit

Honestly after doing this for 15 years I can tell you that if your current instructor is a good human they will only want the best for you and help with the transition to someone that is a better fit.

If they don't, delete them from your system and consider it a bullet dodged... - It's about what's right, not who's right.

Cheers!

Chris S

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ProtectionVisual1273@reddit (OP)

Thanks to everyone for all the feedback! For additional context I was his first (and well, right now) only student, so that’s why there was some additional weight/thinking behind it. I appreciate y’all!

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TornadoTim60@reddit

“It’s not you, it’s me” In all seriousness, this happens quite a bit more frequently than you probably realize. Instructors lose and gain students to/from other instructors for a myriad of reasons all the time. Try saying “hey, I am going to be using instructor2 as my primary for my IR rating, but I appreciate your help with my private pilot training.” If they ask for reasons, that’s the place for constructive feedback. But it will probably just be “oh, ok. Good luck and let me know if you need anything!” And done

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saml01@reddit

Try not to cry.

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MangledX@reddit

Bro, it's a shift to someone who can facilitate your training in a way that's meaningful.....not a end of summer camp break up. Tell them you're going to give someone else a shot, and see how it goes.

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saml01@reddit

Its not you its me… try not to cry.

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Kemerd@reddit

Easy. Just never reach out for another lesson and awkwardly avert your gaze when they see you with another instructor.

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Daa_pilot_diver@reddit

I did almost exactly this at the exact same time in training. I told my instructor that I appreciated their insights and techniques but I want to switch instructors to gain other insights and techniques to help me gain a more rounded learning experience. He did my private, I switched to another instructor a few hours into instrument. I did the same thing when I got to commercial. I picked up a lot of tips and tricks that have helped me a lot in my flying career.

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Prof_Slappopotamus@reddit

Just say his teaching style isn't meshing with your learning style, and after flying with Instructor B you realized it fully.

You won't hurt our feelings, we really do want what's best for you. It's so much easier when you get along as well, as opposed to having a frictional relationship.

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SvenSylens@reddit

It’s a business relationship. Just be honest and tell them it’s not working out. Saying why could maybe help them in the future if they are open to feedback.

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shrunkenhead041@reddit

You're the client. A good CFI will understand that sometimes the chemistry isn't right with a student. Thank them for what they have done, but say you're switching to another CFI who seems to be a better fit for your learning style.

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Esoteric_Prurience@reddit

I had the same issue when I did my instrument training. Same instructor for my PPL and we got on great, but his style didn't suit me personally. He is a professional and I just told him that it wasn't anything personal but I think that going forward I learn better with this other instructor. He said fair enough, we shook hands, and that was it.

As I say, if they are professional they know that student/instructor relationships are an important factor and won't take it to heart. Be honest and upfront, and always advocate for yourself.

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ReadyplayerParzival1@reddit

Keep it professional. We get as instructors, sometimes the pair just doesn’t jive and it will actually improve your training by finding someone else. It’s in the foi.

Just say, I found an instruction I mesh better with and think it would be better for my training to work with them, all the best.

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rFlyingTower@reddit

This is a copy of the original post body for posterity:

Hi everyone. I'm switching instructors because I realized I didn't really blend well with my first one. I have spoken up about not feeling supported all the way, and how I wanted a bit more help during instrument, but he just kinda shrugged it off and it's the same thing all over again as private. I've gone up with a new instructor and while she's tough on me, she's very super supportive and goes the extra mile all the time. My original instructor is a great pilot and I really respect him as a professional, so I don't want to offend him in any way. How should I go about telling him that our time has come to an end? Should I tell him that it's because we didn't blend well, or should I keep my mouth shut? What would you want your student to tell you when they're leaving you? Thanks for the help!

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