I completely understand the weight of what you’re feeling right now. I lost my best friend, someone I truly considered a brother, after a quiet battle he fought with the same humility he lived his life with. Like you, we shared decades of history, starting back in the early '90s when we were just kids bonding over shared hobbies and "nerdy" interests.

Reading your post, I was struck by how much your story mirrors mine. We spent our younger years navigating the same scenes, from comic shops and flea markets to late nights at bars and midnight movies. There’s a certain magic in those friendships where you finish each other’s jokes and speak a language made up of movie quotes and dark humor.

I also know that sting of the "missing decades" you mentioned. We drifted for a while after life took us in different directions, and like you, I was just so grateful to see him settle down and find happiness before he passed. Even though we tried to stay in touch, nothing quite prepares you for the moment you realize that person, your groomsman, your mirror image, your constant, is gone.

I still find myself talking about him in the present tense, too. It’s a testament to how alive they remain in our memories. Today, as you're consumed by those 40 years of laughs and tears, know that you aren't alone in that grief.

I’ll be sure to hoist a glass tonight for Pat, and for my "little brother" too. They were the kind of troublemakers the world needs more of. Sending you a lot of strength.