Anyone ever been to a “Datey” event (or similar) in Dallas?

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clockness_evertea@reddit

i've gone to a few and i'll say the crowd isn't very diverse and the men seemed to have a very specific type. if you're black/WOC, there's the possibility that you won't be approached but it's an opportunity to make the first move it that's something you're into. i did approach a few men and they weren't jerks about it but i was able to read the room. the hosts are very nice and interactive. i did feel really overwhelmed by the crowd a lot of the time and the lines for food and drinks were long, but i did enjoy myself at the events and it was nice to establish new friendships if nothing else. i hope this was helpful and that you have a nice time :-(

also, usually she specifies the age range also handles feedback really well. they usually have separate events for the younger and older crowd

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user1129user@reddit

I figured this would be the case for Black women so I skip out on them and just meet people organically while I’m already out and about. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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clockness_evertea@reddit

yeah it was definitely an experience. my entire friend group (4 black women) went and honestly, the black men weren't checking for us either, but we still had a nice time connecting with other women. i don't blame you for not going, you really didn't miss anything. it was lame that people without an ounce of open mindedness went to a singles mixer but you obviously know the black experience so i don't need to explain that to you.

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lurkerlurking123@reddit

this might be controversial but if a black man doesnt default to checking out black women before going for the white/latina women then that man isnt worth it. Less Malcolm x/Marcus Garvey and more Kevin Samuels energy. You can ask what type of life do you want, and then proceed

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clockness_evertea@reddit

Marcus Garvey mentioned 😁

incredible take, honestly. regardless of race, i wouldn't date a man who isn't attracted to people that look like him. even men who date outside or their race, idc as long as they can express their interest in others without degrading their own. so the fact that i saw black men there who didn't approach a single black woman only makes me feel like i dodged a bullet. i love myself enough to not ever take that personally.

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flycasually@reddit

I’ve been to a few dateys and you nailed the overall vibe

I will say that very specific type works both ways. Unless you’re a 6ft tall white dude, youre not gonna have any luck at these datey events. These events are just not meant for poc.

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SeaCow_216@reddit

Not to be annoying but please know that being a 6 foot tall white dude is no guarantee of success! Ladies won’t give an F about height if you’re tall & broke or tall and awkward.

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miiintyyyy@reddit

My type is tall and broke, so idk about that.

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lurkerlurking123@reddit

You say that 😂

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miiintyyyy@reddit

Not only do I say it, I do it

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Ol_gramps@reddit

Hey 😆

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flycasually@reddit

More like it’s a factor for them to even engage with a guy.

Which is really odd when you go to a singles event like datey and they just eye roll when you try to approach em

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lurkerlurking123@reddit

With the normalized racism over the last few years. Non white men are now seen 2-3 levels below white men. If you have an accent and/or out not fully jacked yourr 4-5 levels below. Youre not even in the league to be considered for dating. Non white women (esp asian, indian) also want to white men over their own race. Which is funny considering white MAGA men still claim to be victims. You cant get more privileged than that.

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MGE5@reddit

I think it’s unfair to blame the event for this, it’s really just the dating culture in Dallas.

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flycasually@reddit

I’m not blaming the event about this at all. It’s totally out of their control.

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SoggyBiscuitVet@reddit

No, sorry that's not it and it's an issue in every big city with these dating meetups. You are going to find a majority of the people going to these are more aligned to short term dating rather than finding a partner. There's no other purpose set at the vast majority of these meetups other than finding a date. No alignment/calibration for goals, interests, or anything. Just be 18-30, 30-45, or whatever age limits they have set for that specific event. You're likely not going to find the right person at these.

The best thing to do is find a hobby you're interested in, and meet new people organically this way.

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MGE5@reddit

I was referring to racism.

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lurkerlurking123@reddit

as a man, men at these events are either extremely superficial and toxic or jisy straight up low hygiene boring. Listen if youre into someone just approach them yourself in 2026. women dont have excuses. Its tough for POC women especially

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clockness_evertea@reddit

well said. my value doesn't decrease because i'm not a man's type. it just is what is.

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lurkerlurking123@reddit

100% you have inherent value. Youre also not SOME men's type. Not all men. I would like to encourage you to look everywhere for love, not just the specific 10/10 you find attractive because everybody wants the same. I also want you to never give up because all of us are beautiful in our own ways and despite the hate theres still love out there.

And remember if hes cute just make the move yourself. You might thank yourself later. Stay blessed sista

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clockness_evertea@reddit

that's kind. i don't have a physical type or even a height preference lolz. i actually didn't go with the intention of meeting anyone, i went to wing woman for my friends. romance really isn't in my top 10 priorities. if it happens, great. if not, that's also fine. i'll wait for something more organic (a nerd).

gn!!!

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AustinQuinn48@reddit

Crazy question I was wondering if wanted to get some coffee sometime? I really enjoyed your opinion on dating and interested in getting to know you.

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lurkerlurking123@reddit

😭 😭 😭 😭

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AustinQuinn48@reddit

I tried a different way

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lurkerlurking123@reddit

im not hating despite the down votes. You were respectful, shoot your shot. Nothing wrong with it. Thats what I told her to do too. Shoot your shot.

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jd1332@reddit

Yes

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Tralliz@reddit

Nothing but creepy white men

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SeaCow_216@reddit

Can I ask if we white dudes are creepy just on account of showing up at an event like this? Or was it something specific about the ones you saw at the event?

Because hell if I’m going to be labeled creepy no matter what then ya know I’ll probably stay home.

Or a better question might be, what, if anything, can I do to not give off the creepy white guy vibes?

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youngpathfinder@reddit

I think the demographic is mostly 25-35. They do specific 35+ events

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Jazzlike-Mission-172@reddit

I went to a 35+ event and it was extremely boring because people came with a friend or 2, sat at tables, and never moved or interacted with anyone else.

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SeaCow_216@reddit

Yeah that’s how it was at the one I went to as well. But I am guilty of doing exactly that because I went a pal and we just chilled together looking at the ladies and being too lame to approach them, even at an event designed for meeting people.

Honestly it seemed like an event where single chicks could meet up with likeminded females and maybe meet a new friend. Which is cool because it’s hard to mandate friends as adults and it ducks if you feel like all your friends are married with kids etc etc

But, from my perspective it’s still an idea ti approach a group of ladies standing around chatting having a good time. I don’t want to interrupt that like an asshole.

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Jazzlike-Mission-172@reddit

It's like the dating apps but in real life. I've gotten a few numbers and then gotten ghosted within a week by all of them. I just go for the vibes and to get out of the house.

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naked_avenger@reddit

Most of these types of events have an age range they aim for. Sometimes you'll get someone a bit outside but for the most part you're around those within that range. I've only done the Dallasites speed dating and I thought it was a lot of fun.

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IceBoxPete@reddit

I went, but nobody gave me any attention or seemed interested. Maybe I’m just ugly. I am 35 male just FYI in case anyone curious my age.

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BorntoRunSlow@reddit

I’ll give this a shot, not expecting any miracles to happen, but would be a good test for me as I am working through my social anxiety. I would just define the success criteria for this event to be making one new decent friend though.

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subarubiddie@reddit

yes and was one of the few non white people there :,( it's nice to see the dating pool in person but this is like if hinge happened in-person! people looking you up and down etc. it is really refreshing to at least talk to them but the pool looks pretty homogenous! i've been to three and their enormous halloween party was my last one.

i had my ass grabbed by some creep at the big halloween event, told abbey the organizer, and she did ban the guy and gave me a discount on a future event (i have never used it) and while i can appreciate her doing something, anything... security is nonexistent. i've come across a few guys who, when i told them i'm not interested in going on more dates, just do not take no for an answer and continued to send me photos of their genitals so!! buyer beware.

swapping numbers turns into a really casual thing at the bigger events so just be mindful of who you're sharing your contact info with <3 made me at least appreciate that the apps have messaging before you have to share phone info

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