not if you're polite to them before like the person OOP was talking to. it's not a crime to be unattracted to someone when you see them. if you see them and say literally nothing after then you're kinda sissified tho. leaving them hanging is something a mentally weak person does.
trying to use a nicer word than I would if we were having a conversation that wouldn't get the comment reported for calling you a mean word.
first comment seemed rhetorical, second seemed to be asking a question, mine - the third, was answering with an inferred yes and saying how to change that. it's really not that hard to understand. unless you're like one of those people that needs fresh cups of coffee to have "caution: hot" explicitly stated on them
“Oh, you looked different in my head. You’re really charming/attractive, other person, but just not my type. I’m really sorry for stringing you along.”
The amount of people who think ghosting is the appropriate solution in dating/pre-dating is horrifying. People are so conflict-averse now, it's unbelievable. People are either too pussified to tell another human being the honest truth, or they truly believe that they're "sparing someone's feelings" by vanishing off the face of the earth with zero explanation, leaving them to wonder what they did wrong. It's legitimately one of the cruelest things you can do to someone.
oh yeah, it is too common in modern dating, unfortunately. I've done it as well when younger but I try to be direct ever since getting my anxiety under control.
I remember talking to a girl who had no profile. Like up until that point I had never had such easy conversations with a girl. She says “I guess you want to see what I look like, just be honest if you aren’t into it”. I was not and never responded.
A person can change basically anything about themselves in the long term. Anything can be learned, any shortcoming improved upon. If you stick with a relationship long enough and you're both willing to try, two people can work through anything.
But if someone's ugly to you, they always will be. It's good to be shallow when picking a partner. They can't change their face and smell and feel, so be picky. Everything else is an act, and the act can be adjusted as we go
Sucks but physician attraction in a relationship is important. It’s why I don’t like those chat only online kinda deals because you run the risk of taking a blow like this when you feel a real connection. Plus it’s not that the other person is bad for feeling that way, it just sucks and there is no framing that makes it better.
It’s why I like dating apps. I know the other person at bare minimum is physically attracted to me.
I feel bad for the guys I've done this for. As much as I like saying "looks aren't everything" they certainly do mean something. It's something I have worked on a lot since. Trust me, if a girl rejects you for your looks, you DEFINITLEY don't wanna be with them. She's got issues of her own she's gotta fix if she's like that.
I don't know how you can think its a bad thing if a woman wont fuck you because she finds you unattractive, what's she supposed to do have sex with you wile avoiding eye contact and trying not to vomit. it's totally normal to not have a relationship with someone you don't find attractive and there's nothing wrong with that.
I find it a bad thing because if I kept thinking that way I would be cut off from some amazing people I've met, and I probably wouldn't be with my current boyfriend if I was thinking like that.
As long as you actually rejected and not just acted like you still like them and then let the conversation die a bit before completely ghosting them with no explanation whatsoever that's totally fine.
Bc that shit hurts more than even an insult would. I'm still not really over the last time someone did that to me and it's almost a year ago now.
Taking care of yourself implies making yourself look good, putting effort into your looks, even if minimal. Eating well, exercising or atleast getting out, getting good sleep, all of these will naturally make you look better as a person. Nothing more nothing less, it's genuinely that easy!
I take care of myself. I don't put efforts into my look, I just bath everyday with soap. I eat only my mother made food, unless in compulsion I eat outside.
I sleep 8 hrs a day, like 00 to 08:00.
People of my community admire me so much.
Well, I'll do arrange marriage. Some father are willing to give his daughter to me.
I'm not on your side but I'm not saying it's their fault dude. I'm dating a dude like half a foot shorter than me lol. I'm saying that there are girls who date only on looks. Girls like that fucking suck, I used to be like that and I was a POS back then. It's something they need to fix within themselves I feel, it's a selfish way of thinking and cuts them off from amazing people.
But you can't force everyone to think that way, everyones human. I believe everyone deserves a chance, but most don't.
Texting a lot + long distances from said person youre interested in = shits gonna get boring and dry quickly. Thats for both men and women.
If youre in the same general area as that person, just ask them out and meet up more often. Within first contact/matching, it should be 48 hours of you two texting each other and then after that a date should be planned and followed through with.
I hate that this is so normalised though, as a girl I think you should have the common decency to explain or say your piece before you go, but I think people are so scared of pissing the other person off? it’s better than leaving them constantly wondering why you stopped talking to them
Reckon so? Other people have similar responses is whats bewildering me the most I didn’t know people genuinely cared about physical appearance that much. From my perspective (granted I am a woman, I think most people here are men) I broadly don’t care a ton about physicals for relationship things. Its like, maybe 10%-30% of the factor of a relationship for me? Idk just shocking to me post and comments and further enforces the fact I am way too tistic for dating in a traditional sense.
I didn’t realize people do the fake messages about how attractive someone is and then ghost them. God damn I really am way too autistic for this shit man
I messaged a random person in telegram to talk something new. But it turned out he is girl. I didn't block her immediately, kept talking about academic, and some childhood shit.
After talking two months, she asked me what is my real name... I said I'm uncomfortable to tell you.
From then, she kept asking my real name, my answer was same.
In third month, I had no energy talk to her because she only like gossip but not something good.
I told her to become mature and we parted away.
This has happened to me a lot and I don’t even get the overly happy fake messages. Just straight up getting ghosted after they see a pic of me. It’s soul crushing every time but it is what it is.
Yes and no. 15-25? Yeah stay in your lane. Between 28-32 you can hit pretty damn far out of your league if you say you want kids and have a decent career. If you're not actively ugly or short and the competition isn't ultra high (large cities) you can land almost everyone.
If anon was on tinder he would be her 10000th left swipe of the day
If you asked me to pick my ultimate girl, I would probably skip past even some of the cuties I have dated, and spec [Kristen Stewart + Theresa Palmer + Keira Knightley + Emily Browning]/4 all age 20 by the way. That's pretty much what they're doing with all the left swipes - searching for perfect
philipjfry1578@reddit
I can't talk to girls, let alone online, so lmao anons got somey
ibejeph@reddit
I've just straight up ghosted girls for the same reason.
Dark_Sunrise62@reddit
Same. Are we bad people?
bisky12@reddit
yes. there’s basically no reason to ghost someone, ever. it’s fine to turn them down but ghosting just leaves them with no closer and is so evil
coffee_n_deadlift@reddit
No
xvsanx@reddit
not if you're polite to them before like the person OOP was talking to. it's not a crime to be unattracted to someone when you see them. if you see them and say literally nothing after then you're kinda sissified tho. leaving them hanging is something a mentally weak person does.
trying to use a nicer word than I would if we were having a conversation that wouldn't get the comment reported for calling you a mean word.
Triple96@reddit
That's not what ghosting means
xvsanx@reddit
thought it was pretty clear I was explaining how to not be a bad people. woosh'd you?
Frierguy@reddit
the guy you replied to essentially said "I ghosted women, am I a bad person?"
and your entire comment is "you're not a bad person if while ghosting them, you didn't ghost them"
xvsanx@reddit
first comment seemed rhetorical, second seemed to be asking a question, mine - the third, was answering with an inferred yes and saying how to change that. it's really not that hard to understand. unless you're like one of those people that needs fresh cups of coffee to have "caution: hot" explicitly stated on them
Jugaimo@reddit
“Oh, you looked different in my head. You’re really charming/attractive, other person, but just not my type. I’m really sorry for stringing you along.”
xvsanx@reddit
.."I'm sorry, while I think you're interesting and have a good personality, you're not my type physically." it's not that complicated.
and how's it stringing along lol? talking for a little before trading pics seems like the natural talking stage route.
nintendonaut@reddit
The amount of people who think ghosting is the appropriate solution in dating/pre-dating is horrifying. People are so conflict-averse now, it's unbelievable. People are either too pussified to tell another human being the honest truth, or they truly believe that they're "sparing someone's feelings" by vanishing off the face of the earth with zero explanation, leaving them to wonder what they did wrong. It's legitimately one of the cruelest things you can do to someone.
Jugaimo@reddit
Yeah, that’s probably more eloquent. I still feel bad over it, even if it is normal.
xvsanx@reddit
oh yeah, it is too common in modern dating, unfortunately. I've done it as well when younger but I try to be direct ever since getting my anxiety under control.
EquivalentSnap@reddit
If you don’t find someone attractive you can’t help that. You’re a bad person if you ghost them though
NorthKoreanKnuckles@reddit
Yes.
AccomplishedCake53@reddit
Helgrind444@reddit
no
OzzRamirez@reddit
caughtyoulookinn@reddit
Are you me? I have missed potential relationships because I wound up ghosting the girl
The_Junton@reddit
so? the point is that you don't want a relationship. that's why you ghost them
Automatic-Worry-1498@reddit
Same.
coffee_n_deadlift@reddit
No
johnson7853@reddit
I remember talking to a girl who had no profile. Like up until that point I had never had such easy conversations with a girl. She says “I guess you want to see what I look like, just be honest if you aren’t into it”. I was not and never responded.
WanderingSociopath@reddit
I had the same happen with an older woman. She removed her filter during videochat after we hit it off and I wasn't feeling it.
CaptainKino360@reddit
People use face filters to video-chat now??? Wha??
girrrrrrr2@reddit
Insecurities run deep.
TrueGootsBerzook@reddit
Same, honestly
nintendonaut@reddit
Insane that she literally gave you permission to be honest with her and you still ghosted her.
PoshDiggory@reddit
A single girl doesn't like how I look, better kms.
rip-droptire@reddit
Change the first word in that sentence to "every" and you have my existence. Sigh.
PoshDiggory@reddit
You ain't missing much.
Sen-oh@reddit
A person can change basically anything about themselves in the long term. Anything can be learned, any shortcoming improved upon. If you stick with a relationship long enough and you're both willing to try, two people can work through anything.
But if someone's ugly to you, they always will be. It's good to be shallow when picking a partner. They can't change their face and smell and feel, so be picky. Everything else is an act, and the act can be adjusted as we go
TheReverseShock@reddit
Anon dodged a scam. "She" moved on to a new mark.
ReliefZealousideal84@reddit
It’s extremely cringe to get feelings for someone you have never seen.
RecentPlenty768@reddit
Oh ya so cringe to get feelings for someone und dating online is totally not a thing so must be uber cringe
Sorry I was feeling that comment too much despite not knowing what you look like
ForumsDwelling@reddit
Having a purely online relationship is cringe
ReliefZealousideal84@reddit
If you don’t have a photo on a dating site then good luck with that.
WhoTheHeckKnowsWhy@reddit
I would blame discord but this shit has been happening in mmos since the dawn of time.
DiegesisThesis@reddit
Ahh, to experience the young love of your first WoW girlfriend.
caddyben@reddit
even earlier in chat rooms
_that_random_dude_@reddit
Even earlier with people sending letters
PurpleWoodpecker2830@reddit
In rare instances one of them is even a woman
RaiderCat_12@reddit
Same but it happened after the first date. It sucks but eventually you do learn how to move on.
Not even getting a bare minimum “sorry, I think we should see other people” is something I’ll always stay a bit annoyed about though.
sorryiamnotoriginal@reddit
Sucks but physician attraction in a relationship is important. It’s why I don’t like those chat only online kinda deals because you run the risk of taking a blow like this when you feel a real connection. Plus it’s not that the other person is bad for feeling that way, it just sucks and there is no framing that makes it better.
It’s why I like dating apps. I know the other person at bare minimum is physically attracted to me.
renraks0809@reddit
I feel bad for the guys I've done this for. As much as I like saying "looks aren't everything" they certainly do mean something. It's something I have worked on a lot since. Trust me, if a girl rejects you for your looks, you DEFINITLEY don't wanna be with them. She's got issues of her own she's gotta fix if she's like that.
Datsitkinz@reddit
I don't know how you can think its a bad thing if a woman wont fuck you because she finds you unattractive, what's she supposed to do have sex with you wile avoiding eye contact and trying not to vomit. it's totally normal to not have a relationship with someone you don't find attractive and there's nothing wrong with that.
renraks0809@reddit
I find it a bad thing because if I kept thinking that way I would be cut off from some amazing people I've met, and I probably wouldn't be with my current boyfriend if I was thinking like that.
renraks0809@reddit
Also actually now that I'm thinking about it, like well over half of them I rejected cause they didn't even take care of themselves. So... do that.
KacKLaPPeN23@reddit
As long as you actually rejected and not just acted like you still like them and then let the conversation die a bit before completely ghosting them with no explanation whatsoever that's totally fine.
Bc that shit hurts more than even an insult would. I'm still not really over the last time someone did that to me and it's almost a year ago now.
Athenstone@reddit
Does taking care of yourself include having a developed chad jaw line?
renraks0809@reddit
Taking care of yourself implies making yourself look good, putting effort into your looks, even if minimal. Eating well, exercising or atleast getting out, getting good sleep, all of these will naturally make you look better as a person. Nothing more nothing less, it's genuinely that easy!
Big_Fungus12@reddit
I take care of myself. I don't put efforts into my look, I just bath everyday with soap. I eat only my mother made food, unless in compulsion I eat outside. I sleep 8 hrs a day, like 00 to 08:00. People of my community admire me so much.
Well, I'll do arrange marriage. Some father are willing to give his daughter to me.
Athenstone@reddit
Tell that to all the healthy fit 5'5 men who are well dressed and groomed but can't get any matches solely due to their face and height.
music-about-money@reddit
One day, I pray you realize the incredible power of a good haircut
renraks0809@reddit
I'm not on your side but I'm not saying it's their fault dude. I'm dating a dude like half a foot shorter than me lol. I'm saying that there are girls who date only on looks. Girls like that fucking suck, I used to be like that and I was a POS back then. It's something they need to fix within themselves I feel, it's a selfish way of thinking and cuts them off from amazing people.
But you can't force everyone to think that way, everyones human. I believe everyone deserves a chance, but most don't.
Featuremeintiktok@reddit
mfs downvoting you for being rifht
renraks0809@reddit
Idek why I'm being downvoted but it is r/greentext so idk what I expected
Kumori_Day@reddit
Wow Aradia Homestuck
renraks0809@reddit
0_0
CPC1445@reddit
Texting a lot + long distances from said person youre interested in = shits gonna get boring and dry quickly. Thats for both men and women.
If youre in the same general area as that person, just ask them out and meet up more often. Within first contact/matching, it should be 48 hours of you two texting each other and then after that a date should be planned and followed through with.
West-Strawberry3366@reddit
Real Life Shrek
caughtyoulookinn@reddit
Anon needs to realize it’s not necessarily because of the pics he sent, girls just go ghost sometimes
miluielmclovin@reddit
I hate that this is so normalised though, as a girl I think you should have the common decency to explain or say your piece before you go, but I think people are so scared of pissing the other person off? it’s better than leaving them constantly wondering why you stopped talking to them
Not_NormalLake69735@reddit
Yuh and it doesn't always mean you aren't handsome. She just didn't like you.
Custer99@reddit
You guys talk to people romantically without knowing what they look like?
TheChannelMiner@reddit
What if, hear me out.... I am a personality guy?
Bovolt@reddit
Yea you need to interact with somebody in person to get an actual taste of their personality lmao
miluielmclovin@reddit
Limerence is a terrible thing
Xhromosoma5@reddit
Why do I see you in every other sub I join
Also tell that terrainer guy I said hi, I'm taking his Ascendancy
TheChannelMiner@reddit
how ordinal
Stable_Immediate@reddit
Liar
Malvastor@reddit
That's great but then you presumably don't ghost when you see their face and aren't attracted to it.
Jaime2k@reddit
I feel so bad for anyone trying to online date nowadays, shits brutal
BraveUIysses@reddit
Well it's my only hope. It's low, but I believe if you don't overcommit it's fine
Meewelyne@reddit
Girl's compliment was genuine, anon replied whining about all the imperfections of his face and body and how he's just a 4/10, girl was turned off.
I can see it happening.
Crunkario@reddit
Reckon so? Other people have similar responses is whats bewildering me the most I didn’t know people genuinely cared about physical appearance that much. From my perspective (granted I am a woman, I think most people here are men) I broadly don’t care a ton about physicals for relationship things. Its like, maybe 10%-30% of the factor of a relationship for me? Idk just shocking to me post and comments and further enforces the fact I am way too tistic for dating in a traditional sense.
Meewelyne@reddit
You know who is that obsessed with physical appearance? Incels. Anon in the pic sounds like one.
K33NY03@reddit
This is just deflecting and being dishonest.
People care about physical appearances, no need to being reductive
Meewelyne@reddit
Yeah, people care for looks, but Anon's description feels biased af.
RecordEnvironmental4@reddit
Some girl sent me nudes before knowing what I looked like, Snapchat quick add is wild.
Crunkario@reddit
I didn’t realize people do the fake messages about how attractive someone is and then ghost them. God damn I really am way too autistic for this shit man
Not like it matters I’m happy enough with life
Big_Fungus12@reddit
I messaged a random person in telegram to talk something new. But it turned out he is girl. I didn't block her immediately, kept talking about academic, and some childhood shit. After talking two months, she asked me what is my real name... I said I'm uncomfortable to tell you. From then, she kept asking my real name, my answer was same.
In third month, I had no energy talk to her because she only like gossip but not something good. I told her to become mature and we parted away.
Aggravating_Pie6439@reddit
The bot got your image.
There's a lot of those now.
I once sent a bot an AI generated image - IT got offended... and then I said "Tell your master that you failed your mission"
Lucifer_Kett@reddit
Sometimes, you’re not someone’s type.
Sometimes you are…
Sometimes, we’re not our own type so we think we’re ugly.
Sometimes we are…
Far_Honey_7685@reddit
... Charlie kirk
RefrigeratorOk8544@reddit
Sometimes we carry the flame
Pwnage_Peanut@reddit
Other times we fight for the gospel
Far_Honey_7685@reddit
Seldom we honour his name
Squawnk@reddit
PiqueExperience@reddit
I choo-choo-choose to kms!
Winton38@reddit
This has happened to me a lot and I don’t even get the overly happy fake messages. Just straight up getting ghosted after they see a pic of me. It’s soul crushing every time but it is what it is.
HiddenSneedV2@reddit
It’s time to ascend buddy
bgovern@reddit
Of course, OP. Your worth as a human being is entirely determined by a single example of second-hand pussy.
Puzzleheaded_One_927@reddit
I've lowk ghosted hella guys for that
xvsanx@reddit
the "ey" at the end of that is just too much spelling to do, eh?
protokhan@reddit
y tip ful wrd wen fw lttr do trik?
TimberAndStrings@reddit
You goth chicks are a blight on society. Y’all need to be send to the looney bin like we have done before
Reaper781@reddit
Plot twist she was only stealing your identity.
AdorableBunnies@reddit
People need to lower their expectations. Stop hitting on the girls out of your league.
TimberAndStrings@reddit
Talking something about leagues and then still posting on IT of all places. You people are turboregarded
ShortTheseNuts@reddit
Yes and no. 15-25? Yeah stay in your lane. Between 28-32 you can hit pretty damn far out of your league if you say you want kids and have a decent career. If you're not actively ugly or short and the competition isn't ultra high (large cities) you can land almost everyone.
UristMcMagma@reddit
What if I'm 28-32 and going after women who are 15-25?
music-about-money@reddit
FBI OPEN UP
wordjedi@reddit
If anon was on tinder he would be her 10000th left swipe of the day
If you asked me to pick my ultimate girl, I would probably skip past even some of the cuties I have dated, and spec [Kristen Stewart + Theresa Palmer + Keira Knightley + Emily Browning]/4 all age 20 by the way. That's pretty much what they're doing with all the left swipes - searching for perfect
wordjedi@reddit
If anon was on tinder he would be her 10000th left swipe of the day
ronshasta@reddit
I guess some people forget real life exists
Orionzete@reddit
Real and straight
ThrenodyCore@reddit (OP)
Thread