To be able to eat meat from an animal without killing it, take chunks out of it Minecraft style

Posted by Anubis-Hound@reddit | CrazyIdeas | View on Reddit | 20 comments

You would take a chunk out of a cow or whatever and the cow would say "moo" and then the piece you took out would regenerate so you could come back later for more

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Party-Pipe59@reddit

Like the Farmville bacon generators? I think it's probably easier and more humane to just farm a massive tumor derived from the animal's DNA, like The Upload.

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Another more “realistic” example is The Outer Worlds, which has cystpigs, genetically engineered pigs that grow bacon flavored tumors on their neck and back that automatically atrophy at the connection point and fall off by themselves whenever they are big enough.

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toxicatedscientist@reddit

Came here to bring up cystypigs. You forgot the part about autopyrolisis part. The bits are self cooking

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Pitiful_Mouse_2989@reddit

This isn’t your idea. Dwight Schrute created this years ago.

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aran_maybe@reddit

George Foreman is considering it, Sharper image is considering it

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DiggingInGarbage@reddit

That sounds very painful for the cow, who would have to deal with being cut apart and then healing from being cut apart. Plus, depending on how much you take the cow wouldn’t be able to regrow the missing muscle, which would doom the animal to a painful an debilitating life

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Fastfaxr@reddit

What if we harvested the entire cow and then grew a little clone of it to replace it?

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therealgunsquad@reddit

Yeah this would take more resources for exactly the same amount of food. You dont regrow muscle like you do hair. Now you have to waste space, food, and water on an animal just for it to scar over the massive wound you gave it. And now you're tending to 5 injured cows instead of just killing one and selling all the meat and taking care of 4 healthy cows. Not to mention the horror and cruelty all for the exact same amount of meat.

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atomicsnarl@reddit

Mr Farmer, why does that pig have a wooden leg?

Oh that one? That's Jasper. Smartest pig anywhere! All sorts of helpful around the farm here.

Yes, but why the wooden leg?

Why, just the other day, one of the cows got out, and ol' Jasper there ran down the road, found it, and herded it back into the pen.

Really?

Sure did! And just last month we had a fox running around doing terrible things to our chickens. Jasper found it and it ain't a bother no more!

Mmmm hmmm...

Not only that, but a while back my little boy got stuck in the pond near to drown! Jasper, bless him, jumped right in and pulled him out. I don't think there's nothing that pig can't do!

Yes, but why the wooden leg??

Ah buddy, you don't eat a pig like all at once, you know!

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sinister_shoggoth@reddit

Technically, a postpartum placenta is a 'meat' that can be harvested without harming the animal.

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CoderJoe1@reddit

Look up lab grown meat.

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mstivland2@reddit

What minecraft update did I miss?

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BarryTownCouncil@reddit

A man walks by a farm, where he sees a pig with a wooden leg

He's never seen anything like it before; the pig is just wandering around the farm, but with a well crafted wooden leg. His curiosity gets the better of him and he waves the farmer over.

"Sorry to bug you," the man says, "but I just have to ask, how did that pig end up with a wooden leg?"

The farmer laughs. "Well, that pig... he's mighty special. The pilot light in our oven malfunctioned in the middle of the night, and set the whole kitchen on fire. But that pig, he ran to the back door, kicked it in, ran through the fire and up the stairs, kicked open the door of my wife and I, and oinked furiously until we woke up. And before we could do anything, the pig ran to our infant daughter's room, dragged her out of her crib, and carried her safely on his back until all of us were well away from the house. That pig saved my entire family's life."

The man is amazed. "That's incredible! But, how does that explain the wooden leg?"

The farmer shakes his head. "Well, a pig THAT special, you don't eat all at once."

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