What do you know now that you wish you knew then?

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Creepy_WaterYogi75@reddit

Always brush your teeth, and Health is wealth.

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Duran518@reddit

The people closest to you, will not be there for you.

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MarquesTreasures@reddit

yep. you're the only one with your best interests as priority.

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MarquesTreasures@reddit

never get in debt.

getting out of debt is the single most important factor to me retiring at 47.

it all started in 1997 when I got a free bag of chips if I signed up for a Discover card and didn't end till 2022. Those chips were not worth it.

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andyraylan@reddit

Nothing. I so enjoyed living in ignorant bliss. I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed my teens nearly as much if I had any wisdom at all.

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See, I say never ever tell me what people say behind my back. I like to live in a world where everyone thinks I’m great, so I don’t need to hear gossip people say about me. What I don’t know won’t hurt me. Plus there are very few people who could say anything that would hurt me unless it was about my character. And there aren’t that many I’m close to besides my family a handful of close friends. Ignorance is bliss in my eyes!

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andyraylan@reddit

Totally agree. What you think about me is none of my business. It’s much easier.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I replied this to a Facebook comment someone made about me being entitled when I posted a question about a pizza coupon😂. “Actually, your opinion of me is none of my business, no worries here!” and that girl went off on why did I bother posting then. I said I asked about a pizza coupon, not what you think of my morals and values. She couldn’t stop trying to fight with me over it, like I was asking for her opinion on me and she just didn’t grasp the concept AT ALL😂 I tried to be nice but gave up pretty quickly because anyone getting that upset about pizza needs some therapy (I mean, but don’t we all?🤨)

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andyraylan@reddit

Isn’t it surreal when you experience that? Someone is showing their own inflated sense of entitlement by declaring another person to be acting entitled.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I don’t want to hear “don’t drink and drive”😂 or boring advice like that! Just the kind that would’ve made life a little easier and saved you a little heartache, you know?

Like a guy will say anything to get down your pants. It’s just the truth. Don’t fall for it, I tell my girls. They just want to feel your boobies 😂

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andyraylan@reddit

That advice about boys is accurate. That’s a good one to pass along, my Dad told me the same thing and it stuck with me. Thankfully.

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NihilisticMacaron@reddit

I love this answer. I was such a reckless idiot into my mid 20s, and it was a blast. Now I’ve got a big boy corporate job, family, bills and all of the headaches that come along with them and decades of knowledge. I have a good life, but I miss being young and dumb. It was simpler and the stakes were lower.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I quit the sauce in 2019, but I always say I got a LOT of partying and fun in before I gave it up. I had a good run of drunken shenanigans for 30 yrs, it’s time to be done with that🤷🏻‍♀️😂😍

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MareOfDalmatia@reddit

Yes, now I’ve got too much to lose…

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gmkrikey@reddit

God yes. To be 17 again, 1983, graduating high school in a few weeks. So goddamn ignorant and yet so blissful about it

The summers of 83, 84, and especially 85 were fantastic and I’ve never again been that happy. About the fall of 1985 I started to gain some wisdom and knowledge. Great for many things but happiness not as much.

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Melodic_Scallion_578@reddit

"Comparison is the thief of joy" i.e. worry about yourself, not what others are thinking, doing, saying, etc

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PeaTearGriphon@reddit

People normally lash out because of insecurities. I think this is similar to not taking things personally because anyone bugging you about something is generally insecure about that thing.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

“Hurt people hurt people”.

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SpankyDammit@reddit

This took me forever to learn

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PeaTearGriphon@reddit

me too, like 40+ years lol

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ecochixie@reddit

Just like you’re not going to like everyone you meet, not everyone is going to like you. And that’s ok. You don’t need everyone to like you.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

And learning that you don’t have to be friends with everyone, just be polite and respectful. Don’t make it awkward when it doesn’t have to be.

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Zealousideal-Walk566@reddit

Don’t let fear stop you from doing what you are good at. Don’t let other people’s opinions knock you off course, which admittedly is even harder now with all the noise from social media. Take care of yourself, health IS wealth, self love and self care are sisters, nurture them and you’ll gain true clarity and confidence as you learn to love yourself. Learn about and nurture your finances, mind the company you keep. And don’t dwell in places and situations that drain you spiritually, physically and mentally.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

Yassssss🙏🏼🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻This is all great and true!!

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D05wtt@reddit

1) Take your health more seriously even at an early age. What you eat and drink and a lack of exercise can affect you big time in the 2nd half of your life.

2) learn personal finance, budgeting, what is important to spend money on, compound interest, investing, stock market, etc. If you don’t learn now, you’re gonna have a hard time retiring and making your money last in your latter years. It’s not going to be a comfortable end.

I’m just gonna keep it at these 2 because I can go on and on.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I agree, the money and finance stuff is so important, and schools don’t teach that shit at all.

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D05wtt@reddit

Yep. I got myself into trouble my first year in college. Spent money I didn’t have. Opened credit cards. Signed apartment leases that I didn’t end up staying at. Just made a mess of my finances.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I did, too!!! Luckily I only spent like 2k. It wasn’t life shattering , but it felt like it at the time. I tell my girls I’m not trying to nag, but I will not let them fuck up everything we are working on to set them up for success. I also have to let my adult daughter make her own mistakes.

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D05wtt@reddit

Yeah, same. A couple thousand dollar. But for the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, that’s a lot of money, especially when I wasn’t making any.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

And when I was 20, I wasn’t worried about retirement or buying a house, I wanted to party and have fun. I definitely took it too far and ended up with an alcohol addiction that I kicked in 2019🙌🏻 But I wish someone had been guiding me towards financial freedom, so we are trying to help our kids build a legacy and a business that we can keep in the family.

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MienaLovesCats@reddit

How to be better with money. To know what is a want and what is a need. To not buy as many wants; so I can save more money for a rainy day.

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Wide-Foundation-7743@reddit

Start your 401K Roth asap

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MienaLovesCats@reddit

FYI not everyone can. My husband and I can't. Because we can't afford to. Because I can not work more then part time. Because we are raising two special needs children.

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ApatheistHeretic@reddit

When to cut people or tasks out of your life that are more trouble than they're worth.

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Breklin76@reddit

That there really isn’t much to be afraid of.

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Wide-Foundation-7743@reddit

Yell. NO! Loudly. In a bar, on a street, beach, train, bus, party, grocery store, everywhere. We are taught to be polite, not to embarrass or make a scene. Make a fucking scene. Scream at the top of your lungs. It will save your life

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Flaky_Wheel60B@reddit

Stop trying to make everyone happy.

Or

Don’t set yourself on fire to make others warm.

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Specific_Ad_97@reddit

Learning how to cook was such an invaluable lesson; how to make different sauces, how to use fresh herbs & spices, how to follow recipes, how to make desserts, what kitchen utensils to use, & how to budget meals for the whole week.

What I never learned was finding the right person to cook for. I would jump through hoops to impress some girl with my culinary skills, and she would take a couple bites, then ask if we can go to McDonald's.

For years I just stopped trying, it wasn't until my mid 30s when I met my wife, and found out how good my skills were. Before the Pandemic we used to have amazing dinner parties at once a month.

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Flaky_Wheel60B@reddit

When I got divorced I really got into learning how to cook. To impress the ladies and to do right by my kids.

But I didn’t really feel comfortable with my ability to cook until one Saturday night wife was hungry and I managed to whip up something good, of the top of my head, with random ingredients from the pantry.

She said that was very impressive as I was always able to follow a recipe no problem.

But now I can just start digging around and make a decent dinner off all the random stuff you have in your pantry.

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dstarpro@reddit

Focus on stability, not romance.

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Northman_76@reddit

There is too much to list, lol. But, I do know, if I could put the knowledge I have now in a 20 year old me...that would be something. When you're young, you don't know the value of life experience, and when you do realize it, it's after the fact, ain't that some shit 🤣

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kirabug37@reddit

They’re right about putting money in a retirement account and it’s actually not hard

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

My husband suggests The Slight Edge. Highly recommend!!! I read a chapter a day a couple of times a week, but it immediately affected me. I still think “why put off tomorrow what I can do today?” every night😂👊 It is a great book to help young people understand how a little right now is A LOT in 20 years.

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jbellafi@reddit

Apple stock. Should have bought it

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

My ex and I had Netflix stock when it was still sending us DVD’s, if I recall correctly.

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catregy@reddit

Ehhhh that’s tough, same stuff still happens to us in our 50s and while we may think we’re wiser we still can get sucked in to the same habits. It happens very often. Only caveat is we’re more mature to think it through but it tends to end in the same result.

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Vegetable_Loan1627@reddit

Everybody is just making it up as they go along.

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Hot_Rock@reddit

Don’t worry, not for one second, what other people think about you. Worry only about what you think about you. Hardest and most valuable lesson I have learned.

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GrayLightGo@reddit

Truth!

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I’m only competing with myself, is how I try to look at it.

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stunneddisbelief@reddit

Don’t data guys that treat you like your dad treated your mom. Don’t accept that as “normal.”

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

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BossOtherwise1310@reddit

Be nice. It costs NOTHING to be nice. Say “hi” to the janitor… Ask how the front desk person’s morning is going. Smile and say hello to random people. You never know who is having the worst day of their life and just needs a smile and a “hi” to make them feel better.

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Winter-Fondant7875@reddit

And: try to put yourself in their shoes

This one is hard.

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BasketBackground5569@reddit

It makes you feel better by smiling yourself.

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JuliusSeizuresalad@reddit

The whole prostate thing..

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According_Assist_636@reddit

Don't smoke cigarettes!!!

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Specialist-Jump-3697@reddit

Don’t worry about other people’s opinions, save money, bad things happen to everyone, not just you.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I never think “why me?” I think “why NOT me?”

Bad things happen to good people all the time. Although I do try to be a kind, respectful, loving human and hope that helps my karma too😂 I just think you get what you give, in most cases. A positive and grateful mindset is so important.

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Ecjg2010@reddit

Never depend financially on a another person if it can be avoided. Always have savings to fall back on just in case.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

This is seriously so important, I have been broke single mom. When I thought I was going to divorce my husband, I wrote up some papers and had them signed and notarized. I’m not sure how well they would have stood up in court, but it was a “in the event of a divorce, he will pay her x per month per child per year” and all schooling. But we ended up getting sober and staying together and now we are on our “second marriage”.

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International-Mix425@reddit

My parents were F ups!

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I’m sorry. Maybe they are just assholes and you got unlucky, but that’s not fair. Every child deserves to feel loved growing up. My childhood was chaotic but it could’ve been worse. I’ve done ok but that’s also because I married well🤷🏻‍♀️I quit working outside the home 5 yrs ago so my dad with dementia could move in. Last year I realized he was making us miserable, so we got him in assisted living. Life is finally starting to feel ok again. Between that and menopause, I’ve been a hot mess for years now 😂Smarter and wiser, though!😂

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kidMSP@reddit

Don’t sell the 100 shares of Apple stock I bought as a teen in 1986 when they were on the brink of bankruptcy. Fucking idiot, I was.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

Oof, that hurts. I’m sorry.

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Minimum_Rub_7316@reddit

Teach them to make plans for their life. Set goals and have a general or specific direction for their life. Short term, medium term, long term. This can include finances, education, career, etc. Makes a big difference to have direction in life.

Also, start an investment account for both, if you haven't already. Compounded interest needs time for small amounts to become large...massive, even. You can start with $300-500.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

The Slight Edge is a great book that helps elaborate on this stuff and even I understood it😂

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GeneralPITA@reddit

I'm capable of being a much bigger asshole than I realized.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

We all are at times.

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BasketBackground5569@reddit

Letting my crotch pick my partner instead of my brain was a bad start to life. There's more to a relationship than good giggity, such as good choices and morals.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

For sure! We were talking the other day about how some people are so attractive until they start talking and all of a sudden they get very ugly very quickly.

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Fanabala3@reddit

If you’re not compatible with a SO (emotionally, sexually, etc), break things off so you don’t have to deal with red flags.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

This is SO TRUE. Not being compatible is a reason for a break up. So many people do not see this.

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Fanabala3@reddit

Yeah…. I learned this the hard way.

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Empty_Nestor@reddit

It’s far better to be alone than to be with the wrong person,

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rackandroll_@reddit

Take care of your skin and always wear sunscreen. You will still care what you look like when iojr 40 plus

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Western-Corner-431@reddit

Make, manage and keep your own money regardless of relationship status

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BasketBackground5569@reddit

Dental care as an adult is ridiculous. It's expensive and painful. Take better care of your teeth. Even a half ass brushing is better than nothing.

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Rockatansky77@reddit

I'm giving the advice that I received when I was younger. The same advice I never listened too. Can't change the past. You can only try to learn from it.

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LadyNorbert@reddit

Drink a lot more water and a lot less Mountain Dew.

Take better care of your teeth.

Open a savings account and try not to touch it.

The boy from Virginia will break your heart.

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industriousalbs@reddit

Cherish all the time spent with my Mother. Go on more holidays with her.

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fatrockstar@reddit

Calling off a wedding and losing your deposits is cheaper than a divorce and its aftermath. If there are red flags during wedding planning the priority is you and your future.

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BossOtherwise1310@reddit

Did this… can confirm it’s true.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I should’ve called off my first wedding! I knew going in it was wrong but my mom was sick with cancer and I didn’t have the balls to call it off. I left 18 months later 😬

Legit advice, always call it off rather than have to get a divorce.

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fatrockstar@reddit

Same here. I didn't want to disappoint her and we had so many deposits... I endured that marriage longer than I should have.

The worst part is that she probably would have given me this advice if she'd known I had doubts.

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Beatrix_Kitto@reddit

The same thing I tell everyone. Hire a financial planner as soon as you start working your first real job and make a plan for your retirement. Travel when you can and for the love of everything eat well, work out and bring all your skincare products down to your chest.

Oh and wear your sunscreen!

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LayerNo3634@reddit

Set up my kids with our financial planner when they were in college to set up an IRA. They have 401K's now, but still contribute. They are on track to retire in their 50's.

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squirtloaf@reddit

I wish I had the financial literacy I do now and put it in motion. I had so much extra money that I just squandered on bullshit...I mean, I could be retired now if I was better with money earlier.

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novelist9@reddit

My dad was a fucking BANKER and told me nothing about finances. Nothing. So lucky I stumbled into how to understand money before it was too late.

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Oldebookworm@reddit

Oh god, yes. I didn’t know hardly anything about money until I was in my late thirties. I didn’t have time to think about it

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squirtloaf@reddit

I never thought about it until my mid-fifties lol. Now I am full-on into my investments, retirement and how to use the tax codes to my advantage.

But mannnnn....I used to blow like, $200+ per week on just bullshit in the eighties. If I had the mentality and resources I do now, I would be sitting on a LOT of money by now.

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JetSetInMyWays@reddit

Just curious (as someone in their mid-40s married to someone in their mid-50s) what are some things you’d suggest now later in life? We haven’t had a ton of extra cash—always seemed like someone needed help or there was some emergency or some kind. What would you recommend so we aren’t working until we’re 160/170?

And thank you! :)

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novelist9@reddit

Travel. Locally, nationally, abroad if/when possible. But go.

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ihatepickingnames_@reddit

That I would live this long and would actually need decent retirement savings.

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Silver_Breakfast7096@reddit

Not enough time to list it all. Even worse all the stuff I still don’t know.

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Magerimoje@reddit

It's NOT actually easy to quit smoking, so no, you won't be able to "quit whenever you want to" so just don't fucking start ya moron.

That's what I'd say to young me.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I loved those cancer sticks so much. Still miss them at times!

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MoneyWiseLawyer@reddit

I always tell my wife that the minute they discover a cure for the ailments caused by smoking, I’m going to 7-Eleven for a pack of Marlboro reds.

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youngkpepper@reddit

I'll beat you to the front of the line, though my brand was Camel Special Lights.

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JuJu_Wirehead@reddit

I told myself I'd quit after 10 years. I eventually quit after 16 years with the advent of Chantix.

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Ckc1972@reddit

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."

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RoseyGray@reddit

Compound interest.

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KarmaBike@reddit

Basic laws of attraction…I was so stupid. Girls I adored would touch my arm or leg, flick their hair, bat their eyes…

I just had no idea that was my cue. My brain said they had to ask me out…

What a dipshit

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Minimum_Rub_7316@reddit

Dude. Story of 16-25 for me. I think back to those interactions. I think I was very self-conscious and didn't have a lot of confidence. Had those things been different, I would have noticed, I think.

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KarmaBike@reddit

In college an absolutely gorgeous girl SAT ON MY LAP at a party. Moments later, I said, “Ok boys, I’m headed home.”

As I walk out the door. My teammate came into the hall and almost beat my ass, telling me to get back in there!

I got back in there, got shitfaced, went back to her place and passed out and awoke to sunlight shining in the window…

Embarrassed, I left.

Rinse & repeat that incident many times in a 6 year college career.

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HornetParticular6625@reddit

Preach! There have been a few times where women had given me what would probably have been a pretty frikkin clear signal that went sooo far over my head that I literally didn't realize it for years.

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Stigger32@reddit

That crypto was worth buying at $300 each when I was first offered them.

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Pretend_Piano_6134@reddit

Strength training at a young age. It’s good at any age, but I honestly think it’s better the younger you start

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Status_Iron_3706@reddit

When someone is acting odd/mad, it’s not my fault. They have issues going on I didn’t know about.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

Exactly. And I stopped taking things personally about 5 years ago. The amount of times I used to think someone didn’t text back because they were mad or didn’t like me is insane to me now. What a waste of time. I would ask myself, well do they have a reason to be angry? And the answer was always no, and so no one was ever mad. I assume people are busy and will get back to me when they can. My kids give me crap for leaving them on read and I said you didn’t ask me a question?!

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a65sc80@reddit

Tell them that if they genuinely like a boy to tell him directly. No need to be overly sexually aggressive or anything. Just voice your feelings. Boys/men are often clueless about that. I can't count the number of times I missed out on potentially wonderful women because I was clueless.

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Express_Towel47@reddit

No boy is worth it.

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JuJu_Wirehead@reddit

That taking something you love and making a career out of it will drain every ounce of love and passion you ever had for it until you can't do it for fun anymore and you don't care if you ever do it again.

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Ray_The_Engineer@reddit

Stop being so damned cautious..take Risks. Life is short. That cute girl in English in high school? Go talk to her. Ask her out. What do you have to lose?

Also: Smile more. It loosens people up, sets a better tone when you try to deal with people. I was a stoic, frowning bastard for most of my life...I became a consultant in the 2010's, and started working on my social skills. It's paid dividends for me.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I smile at every person I make eye contact with. 98% smile back. Some even look surprised but smile back. I try to compliment a stranger once a day, too. Who doesn’t love hearing someone enjoyed your outfit?!

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Ray_The_Engineer@reddit

I've been pleasantly surprised at how many more people want to interact with me, if I just keep a slight smile on my face in public, rather than "resting bastard face".

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Phobos1982@reddit

Sunscreen! Our generation looks 20 years younger than our parents did at our current age because we were the first generation with real sunscreen, not just tanning oil.

---

More seiouosly:

Something I didn't learn until my late 30s is that sometimes people are yelling at you (or otherwise directing negative energy at you) about something completely or only tangentially related to what they're yelling about...

Your sibling, parent, friend, co-worker, boss, etc., could be blowing up at you about a bad job you did at something when they're really just venting energy about something that someone else just did to them. Yeah, sure, you might not have done the best job at what they're yelling you about that, and for that, you can choose to accept only that much of the energy they're directing at you... then let everything else slide off.

An example is I had a terrible boss that was very abusive to the whole team. Job market was tough at the time, so most of us decided to put up with it. Later we found out that the were just venting at us about the complete disaster their home life was. Both spouses were cheating on each other, one of the children had been arrested a few times, other child was failing out of college, etc. Once we learned that, we just ignored all the rants and verbal abuse and they lost power over us.

Additionally, I learned that life is a constant exchange of energy, sorta like commerce. Everyone you know has and account for you and you have an account for everyone and everything you know. Building on the previous paragraph... Your credit limit with and for your sibling might be immense and you limit with your boss might be miniscule. You can choose to absorb energy from your sibling because you love them and know you'll eventually have opportunities to give it back and then some. You need to enforce these limits with the people around you. If a friend or even sibling continuously overwhelm your emotional/karmic balances, you eventually have to close that account and move on.

I wish I had learned all that much earlier. I would have been used much less and moved on from bad situations sooner.

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RetiredPoPo10-8@reddit

Start investing as soon as you can. Instead of blowing your money on stupid stuff, put some aside in some kind of mutual fund or something. I didn't start until I was 30 but if I had started saving way back when I was in the Air Force, my retirement savings would almost be doubled.

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Magerimoje@reddit

Roth IRA.

I wish I'd understand that crap in my 20s

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RetiredPoPo10-8@reddit

You and me both

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boybrian@reddit

VT and chill

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OkElephant1931@reddit

Sometimes I wish I didn’t know now, the things I didn’t know then…

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no1oneknowsy@reddit

And give me something to believe in

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foogeeman@reddit

You take the high road and I'll take the low road

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I’d do just about anything to live back in the 80’s again.

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foogeeman@reddit

I just feel like if I spend too much time on that I'll look back in 10 years and wonder wtf I did. I'm trying real hard to be in this now, but I do miss those yesterdays.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

They were great great times. I only listen to 80’s and 90’s music now and my kids are starting to come around!🙌🏻

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I feel you ❤️

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MareOfDalmatia@reddit

Against the wind…

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IAmDaBadMan@reddit

Your parents aren't perfect. There is no guide to being an adult nor is there a guide to being a parent. We are all just winging it and hope that we did a good job raising you. Seriously, ask your kids if they think you are doing a good job raising them. Do they think you could be doing anything differently?

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ave427@reddit

Use sunscreen sooner.

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PeaTearGriphon@reddit

I don't even know if there was sunscreen in the 80s, I remember there was tanning oil. My parents', aunts', and uncles' all used that.

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sunfish99@reddit

There was, but the only people I knew that used it seriously were of Irish/Scottish extraction and had blindingly white skin that always burned, never tanned.

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MedievalMousie@reddit

And it wasn’t waterproof and pretty much maxed out at SPF 15. Oh, and it stayed greasy, so if you went to the beach you ended up coated in sand.

a blindingly white child of the 80s.

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spacetstacy@reddit

The only sunscreen i knew of was the thick white stuff that lifeguards put on their nose.

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PeaTearGriphon@reddit

I remember that from movies but never saw it in real life. We would just get that early sunburn out of the way and then you were good for most of the summer. If there was a day where to sun was really hot you could get another burn later on.

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ave427@reddit

I feel like I saw one with SPF 2.

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RetiredPoPo10-8@reddit

I remember back in the 80's when girls used that Hawaiian Tropic coconut tanning oil that had ZERO protection from the sun. Scary stuff!

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spacetstacy@reddit

We used baby oil with iodine in it. The iodine stained your skin so you looked tan while the baby oil was letting the sun broil you crispy. Now, I've got dark, sun damaged spots on my face and chest.

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RetiredPoPo10-8@reddit

I admit, girls who did that got really tan and made us guys do a double take. Im sorry youre having to pay for it now. Hopefully the new generations learned from our mistakes.

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Turbulent_Tale6497@reddit

The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists

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RexCelestis@reddit

Love is not enough. A successful relationship takes good timing, good communication, maturity, love and may not last forever. That doesn't mean that it's not important or impactful on your life.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

Facts!!!

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pmllny@reddit

Protect your joints...don't be reckless.

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SavoirFaire2Middling@reddit

Protect your bongs, too.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

Just found out how to clean my one-hitter with warm water and salt and some toothpicks, I feel so dumb it took me this long 🤣

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SerenaHall@reddit

If the relationship isn't what you want/need before marriage, it won't become what you want/need after marriage.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

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HippCelt@reddit

As I told My cousin's Daughters, Go for vocational jobs , Don't do anything where you could be replaced by a A.I.

Luckily one is a pilot and the other got into veterinary school. I also mentioned they shouldn't wait to have

children. As quite a few of my female freinds/peers now regret not having children. It's kinda ironic how we were

all warned off teen pregnancy..but looking back at the friends/relatives who did have children a little too early it

all worked out pretty well.

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tandem_kayak@reddit

My parents hated having children and never hesitated to remind us of that, so neither my brother or I had children.

I'm happy with my life. I was never interested in having to be responsible for another human or two. Much respect to those of you who did.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

That’s junk and I’m sorry, that’s not fair. I get real fired up About parents who don’t want to put in the effort. Your child didn’t ask to be born. And it is SO HARD to parent these days, and I have “normal” kids! (Do well in school, no health or neurological issues, no drugs or eating disorders, that’s what I mean) My girls are 13 and 22 and it’s completely different.

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WimpyZombie@reddit

As much as you might hate school, or as difficult as you think it is, don't give up on it.

For me, elementary, junior high and high school were a breeze - I actually graduated in 11 years instead of 12. But going to college was like being thrown into a fire - for some reason I just couldn't adjust and I gave up after one year. I wonder all the time how my life might be different if I would have been able to get through it.

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Empty_Nestor@reddit

Most people wouldn’t care nearly as much about what other people thought about them if they truly understood how little other people actually thought about them.

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the_little_way@reddit

I don't matter now and never will. Just be kind and try to have fun before I and everyone I love dies.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

❤️❤️❤️

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Back_Alley420@reddit

I learned a phrase in the army as a teen (17 til 20) that was “ improvise adapt and over come” it has served me to learn that art of a pivot to better

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

Being able to pivot is huge, it’s something I’m trying to delicately teach my 22 yo daughter. She melts down so quick over the smallest things…. I’m trying to reframe it so she can see it’s not worth getting upset over, we say “Well, we will figure it out!” All the time around my house.

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Kat1836@reddit

Don't fill up your house with random crap. Buy a smaller, better designed house. You don't need so much stuff, even if it's free. After living in a house for 20+ years, your older self will thank you.

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Empty_Nestor@reddit

My wife and I (empty nesters in our late 50s) are down to a tiny condo with no maintenance yard and one vehicle. Our home could be described as Spartan, and that’s the way we love it. Visiting friends and family who live in homes that are chock a block with crap gives us both anxiety now.

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Turbulent-Spirit-514@reddit

Do better at saving money. Start young so you’re not effed in your 50s.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I see so many younger people on here complaining about not having enough money to buy a house like they thought and how they aren’t making the money they thought they would be. Is that all because of the economy and jobs paying shit or is it people not managing their money wisely? I think it’s probably both. I was a bartender for 26 years, there were plenty of people who were in that industry that bought houses, invested, opened side businesses, went to college, had families and other jobs, and then there were the ones who partied all the time and never got to those milestones. There are a lot of people out there who refuse to take accountability that their own choices maybe are the reason they aren’t where they want to be. I don’t blame anyone but me🤷🏻‍♀️

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HandAccomplished6285@reddit

This may be more specific to the US, but my advice is this - It is never too early to save for retirement. Put aside as much as you can, and then put aside more. Save until it hurts. Otherwise you’ll be working long past the time you want to be.

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Empty_Nestor@reddit

I’ve always said an understanding of compound interest (both in terms of receiving it and paying it) along with TFSAs, RRSPs and other investments is infinitely more valuable than an understanding of trigonometry for 99% of the population.

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no1oneknowsy@reddit

Making mistakes is how you learn things you don't have to be perfect you just need to keep trying.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

Learning through mistakes sucks but yet is necessary.

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scarlettohara1936@reddit

The consequences of sneaking out to a concert when I was 18 the summer after I graduated high school would have been worth the memories I would have had made at the concert.

You'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

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Empty_Nestor@reddit

I’ve always said that I’ve never regretted going to a concert/taking a vacation/doing anything that might seem indulgent, but I’ve definitely regretted not doing it.

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BennyHawkins969@reddit

Absolutely!! This!! Do more, see more, take chances and learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

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FeralFemale_@reddit

You aren’t going to find a dream job. Figure out something than you are interested in, can tolerate, and can make a decent living then start working towards that career starting in high school with relevant hobbies, internships, and part time jobs.

Do not party in college. It is a lot of fun but ultimately a waste of time, money, and resources.

Avoid post grad education. It’s a scam for most career areas.

Invest invest invest. Start young. Every bit counts.

Don’t let people treat you like crap. It’s better to be alone than to be emotionally torn down on the daily.

Get a cat or two.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

And I read to find a job you are good at and can be successful at relatively easily. You don’t need to LOVE your job. You need to be good at it and mildly like it. That totally makes sense to me.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

Love all this but my 3 King Charles Cavaliers are my BFFs for realsies. I asked my husband for 75k to clone them. He said no. 🥺

But pets are so great. It’s just a love you can’t describe accurately.

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Jagsfan2025@reddit

You had me but you misspelled dog at the end!!

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MareOfDalmatia@reddit

I recently heard the expression, “Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” I wish someone had told me that when I was young.

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DirkDiggler1970s@reddit

My father did not know what he was talking about a lot of the time.

My mother was complicit with #1.

People who don't play by the rules sometimes win, and nice guys often do finish last (painfully).

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PerfectAd9944@reddit

FLOSS

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH PEOPLE🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

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Kelly_blue_brook88@reddit

I wish I had ignored the mean girls - even in my 30s - and stayed true to the beat of my own drum

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ancientastronaut2@reddit

I cared waaaayy too much what people thought back in high school and pressure to conform. Which lead to some bad decisions.

It's such a painful insecure time, I wish I had had better support and someone who told me to just be myself and point out it's just a short phase in the grand scheme of life.

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Inner-Phone2933@reddit (OP)

I agree, but I don’t think moms talked about that stuff as much we do today. I’m ALWAYS pumping my girls up and talking about self worth and self esteem and living life aligned with my values. My parents never talked like that.

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Embarrassed-Pepper-5@reddit

Same. High school was a blip on the radar screen of life. I was bullied at school, then had to deal with my mom who had MH and alcohol issues. Like you, I wish I had encouragement from someone. I could have had the courage to do things like try out for sports.

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jazzdabb@reddit

"No." is a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone an explanation. You can say "No, thank you." if you have a reason to be polite but nothing more. Don't make excuses or offer information that can be picked apart.

And if ANYONE tries to pressure you about something you already said no to, simply say, in a firm voice: "I said 'No.'" and then walk away.

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fridayimatwork@reddit

Sunscreen,being nicer to myself and others

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PrisonNurseNC@reddit

I am in control of how I respond to peoples behavior.

I am responsible for my own happiness. I am not responsible for others happiness

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Evening-Recording193@reddit

Listening to advice, instead of learning it all the hard way.

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Deamonchild666@reddit

That aliens have been here all along

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HiredGoon_40@reddit

Don't stand on ceremony, like if there's a friend you have not heard from lately, don't ignore them just bc they haven't reached out to you.

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formercotsachick@reddit

Make regular exercise part of your routine, because starting it when you're older is way harder.

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RetiredPoPo10-8@reddit

Waaaaaaay harder 🤣

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Fritz5678@reddit

I have my due diligence lectures for my kids for shit I learned the hard way. I tell them just listen. If they take heed, ok. If they need to figure it out for themselves, I tried.

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MartoufCarter@reddit

People say that family is everything. That is not always true. They should be worthy of your love and trust. do not keep people in your life who hurt you just because you share genetics. Also: Family does not have to mean blood related. Chosen family can be so wonderful.

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ItsRedditThyme@reddit

That I'm autistic. I was diagnosed at 50.

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Street-Quail5755@reddit

Be very choosy who you marry

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Soulshiner402@reddit

And always wrap your package

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gmkrikey@reddit

Live alone for a while. Don’t go from parents house to dorms or roommates to living with someone.

Yeah it’s hard. But there’s a lot of personal growth and self knowledge that comes with being fully in charge of your living situation by yourself.

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ladyc672@reddit

I agree. I definitely took the knowledge I got from my adult relatives and applied it when I got my first apt. I loved living alone. It felt so free.

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slfnflctd@reddit

You'll live longer than you think, the world is not going to end

Don't get hooked on the drinks, and compound interest is your friend

MEMORIZE IT

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No_Builder7010@reddit

Save and invest. Yeah yeah, I was told to but had no concept of compounding interest etc.

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Wild_Read9062@reddit

Myself.

I think the hardest part of childhood for me, and probably many others, isn’t having the answer to all the problems you’ll face or Marty McFly’s future sports results book (by the way, is it just me or did that book seem impossibly thin to have all the outcomes of every possible betting situation for the next 50 years?).

A lot of people think ‘if I knew Google was going to be valuable early on, I’d have put a lot of money (they probably didn’t have) into it and everything would be solved!’. But that’s a cheat code to life.

I think knowing who you are, what you actively like, what matters in your life over time, what lines and boundaries you feel firmly about, what things you’re willing to forgive in yourself and others, is so valuable, and can only be learned from living.

The problem with ‘knowing then what I know now’ for me is life would be boring. I’d be a bore. People would be like ‘let’s do this fun thing!’ And I’d be like, ‘yeah… but it’s meaningless and wasting our time. And all of your relationships won’t last because you’re not actually looking for them- you’re just looking to hook up but don’t have the courage to own it. And you, you’re gay- you need to stop hiding. And Jerry is a loudmouth, that won’t change. Oh, and Chuck, just head on over to prison already, because you’re basically headed there anyway.’

Yeah, I’m fine not knowing diddly in the past. It allowed me to make the mistakes I needed to have fun, have regrets and become an adult.

See: I’d make a totally boring teenager. Hehehehehehehe.

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joeykey@reddit

You’re an awesome parent.

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melty75@reddit

Friendship is more important than love, and family is more important than anything, especially spending time with your grandparents, if they're still around.

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largos7289@reddit

LOL everything. If i could get the shot of downloading my brain now and have it put in my 16-17yr old brain... i would rule the world right now.

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40yearoldnoob@reddit

I wish I could go back and tell myself 30 years ago to quit trying so hard to get my mom to like me.. it's just never going to happen...

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

FYI I am sending some if your ideas to my wife. Maybe she needs to hear this from someone else besides me.

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fantasytacos@reddit

Take care of your teeth!

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zcubed@reddit

Back and knees too!!!

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lilesj130@reddit

30 years from now you'll wish you had the body you hate now

You can build your future with someone, but always keep something just for yourself too

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IT_learning_only@reddit

In the 1980s and 1990s, I would have told myself that lots of men are still sexist. I should have found a way to start at a bigger school rather than the small one that like to push women away from CS. I will never forgive my first advisor for withholding information and pushing me away from CS. I did pick it up later in life, but I'd be planning for retirement soon instead of panicking.

Also, I should have never agreed to date seriously before age 25. I was too busy and 90% of the men in my life try to control me

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GelatinousGoober@reddit

Water lol

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mlachick@reddit

Don't waste mental energy on battles you may never need to fight.

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myskara@reddit

This is a really good one.

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Katiecake80@reddit

Know yourself before getting into ANY relationship

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RetiredPoPo10-8@reddit

+1000 👏

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SabrinaFaire@reddit

Don't be financially dependent on someone else.

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Desertwrek@reddit

Bitcoin us worth something.

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umeboshiplumpaste@reddit

Learn skills that can generate money for YOU and not an employer. Being the world's greatest employee will get you abused, exploited, underskilled, and keep you broke and sick your entire life. The sooner you learn how to make money for yourself, the more options you have for the rest of your lifetime. (Don't be like me and realize this in your late 40s when your life has been burned to the ground.)

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