Unlikely. Cop will smell the alcohol and when it comes time to ask about the story and how it happened and OP can’t answer any questions coherently they’re going to assume he did it to himself and he will get arrested. And now on top of the DWI will get added charges for lying to the cops about how it happened.
"Where were you? Who did you argue with? What did they look like? Were they taller than you or shorter than you? What color was their skin? What did you argue about? How long was the conversation? What time was it? Did anyone see you? Why did they only stab you once? Did they run away or drive away? Why is there no blood on the outside of the car?"
I get that it’s Reddit and people have a low opinion of police but that’s not how it works, lmao. They will ask follow-up questions. What bar were you at? Did you call 911? Were there any witnesses? Et Plus, unless this dude is Crocodile Dundee with a gigantic bowie knife or he stabbed himself directly in the femoral artery a pocketknife wound is not be life threatening. You’re going to be fucked no matter what. You don’t get an excuse for drunk driving and almost killing someone else because you have a cut in your leg, lol
How did you run with a knife in yourlegs? Why does the knife line up with your pants sitting down and not standing up? Why hadn't it started clotting yet?
I mean couldnt you say you were drinking and accidentally cut open your hand or something ? And not being able to answer questions coherently is fine as long as you can stick to the central thing of this being an emergency, youre drunk after all.
i know that lying in court is a punishable offense in most countries. However, at least where i’m from, there’s no legal punishment for lying to cops or during an interrogation.
Yeah bro’s gotta do some practice on his story and entry angle before this. But I think just simply saying he got mugged, didn’t hand over his stuff and got stabbed in return. Make up a place and stick with it no matter what, and hope to god you’re heading the direction of a clinic or hospital.
I think the idea is that, since it was an emergency having been stabbed, the alcohol and the car accident would be forgivable. Obviously, yeah though, it's fake haha
I've actually done this. I was swerving at 4 am on the way to work, half awake, and I swerved near a cop. I had a gallon of unsweetened ice tea in my car for work so I just twisted the lid off and dumped it. I told him that I was swerving trying to catch it before it fell.
Be me. Miss my alarm and wake up abotu ten minutes before I am due at the office. Put on my clthes frantically..long sleeved shirt, tie, long trousers.
Look at myself in the mirror and realise I am all rumpled. My genius mind decides to iron my clothes..but to do while I am still wearing them, to save time.
So I do. I arrive at work burned and sore in multiple places, especially my wrists.
You wouldn't be punished if you can use a so-called 'excuse'. This gets used in cases where what you did was illegal (in the greentext driving while drunk, since that's a criminal offense) but due to the circumstances it's okay(excused) you did it. The drunk driving is justified since saving someone(yourself) is a more pressing matter. You have to weigh the badness of the criminal offense up against the justification. If you're drunk driving because else you'll miss your barber appointment, it's not gonna hold up.
I'm not from the US so I don't know all the details there but it's a pretty common rule in criminal law systems.
The page I linked below actually has a pretty similar situation as an example.
https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/excuse
It's called an affirmative defense I think, and it's the worst kind of defense, because you're admitting you did the bad thing; you're just saying you had a good reason.
Self-defense is a good example. Someone assaults you, you hit htem back, they get hurt or die. Are you in the clear?
Maybe. But your attorney will tell you not to even go that far usually. Unless the evidence is air-tight and you're completely fucked, the better play is to aim for reasonable doubt. If there's even a slim chance you didn't do it, if they don't have enough evidence, you SHOULD avoid the conviction. (Of course the US criminal justice system is a joke.)
"Yes this man broke into my house so I shot him" is a harder defense than, "Your honor, no one saw my client shoot the robber. There was no gun found and no shell casing. Anyone could have shot this man."
Does everyone know what happened? Sure. Can they prove it to the degree required to convict? No. So by law (if followed correctly) you cannot be convicted.
In practice it's not that cut and dry and things go sideways all the time. But it's still your best bet.
it's the worst kind of defense, because you're admitting you did the bad thing; you're just saying you had a good reason.
Yeah that's kind of the whole point, that you did it but had a good reason.
That's why the legal framework exists... for the cases where what you did was justified.
Again, I'm not familiar with US law so i can't comment on it but the different grounds that justify crimes are pretty common. In my country most justification grounds are codified in the law, for a good reason. Namely that they're a good ground to not punish someone.
The example with no gun no shell etc is way too cherrypicked for me to even comment on.
The US is different from most other countries in this regard.
In other countries there is more of an overall, "let's try to get to the bottom of this" from both sides.
In the US the defense will play any dirty trick imaginable to get their client free... so the prosecution plays every dirty track imaginable to convict.
Theoretically, in their minds, it cancels each other out and the innocent will prevail... or something.
For starters leave the knife in so you don't bleed as much.
"Was playing with my knife while drunk and it slipped, live alone with no ambulance insurance so tried to drive to the hospital."
Bob's your auntie.
On the way to the hospital the cop smells alcohol coming off me and asks the hospital to test my blood to see how much alcohol is in my system
> get prosecuted for drunk driving
Well yeah but you might be able to weasel away with an excuse like “I just have to get to the hospital officer” if the cop is chill enough. Key word if though
A good cop would dismiss that when they see you were stabbed. And then be pissed as fuck when the hospital informs the police the wound was likely self inflicted
Cops are not stupid. They would be able to tell if this knife wound happened in the 30 seconds it takes to get out of his cruiser and get to your car, lol. They’re going to assume OP was playing with a knife while drunk driving and got stabbed during the crash.
No shit the cop would know he was drunk. He's not trying to convince anyone he wasn't he's trying to convince the officer his drunk driving was justified.
icaro_93@reddit
classic
what'd the likelihood this would slide?
CasanovaWong@reddit
Unlikely. Cop will smell the alcohol and when it comes time to ask about the story and how it happened and OP can’t answer any questions coherently they’re going to assume he did it to himself and he will get arrested. And now on top of the DWI will get added charges for lying to the cops about how it happened.
OccultBlasphemer@reddit
"I was out drinking alone, there was an argument, and I ended up getting stabbed. I'm driving myself to the hospital rather than bleed out"
GyattOfWar@reddit
"Where were you? Who did you argue with? What did they look like? Were they taller than you or shorter than you? What color was their skin? What did you argue about? How long was the conversation? What time was it? Did anyone see you? Why did they only stab you once? Did they run away or drive away? Why is there no blood on the outside of the car?"
CasanovaWong@reddit
I get that it’s Reddit and people have a low opinion of police but that’s not how it works, lmao. They will ask follow-up questions. What bar were you at? Did you call 911? Were there any witnesses? Et Plus, unless this dude is Crocodile Dundee with a gigantic bowie knife or he stabbed himself directly in the femoral artery a pocketknife wound is not be life threatening. You’re going to be fucked no matter what. You don’t get an excuse for drunk driving and almost killing someone else because you have a cut in your leg, lol
fvgh12345@reddit
Your average pocket knife is around 3 inches. Little more than a cut
fvgh12345@reddit
"The bar, he approached me in the parking lot, he was black"
Boom that easy, cop will never second guess it
YuriNone@reddit
"I panicked, I didn't reme- black"
NorthKoreanKnuckles@reddit
"Any other physical description that could help us identify him? Gold chain? rap song t-shirt? KFC bucket? Stolen bike?"
SergDerpz@reddit
INNOCENT.
The cop will proceed to find any black male and say they fit the profile right before dumping a mag on them. Case solved! We are safe now.
Humblesterman@reddit
You know the comment was funny when reddit had to remove it.
Onyxxx_13@reddit
They remove all the good ones.
Naudste@reddit
r/holup
NorthKoreanKnuckles@reddit
"- He was arab."
"- We will catch him, please rest"
mrheosuper@reddit
Sorry i can't answer that. Signed a NDA.
drak0ni@reddit
I was walking home from the bar, it was in an alley on the way home. It was dark and happened so fast, I don’t remember. I ran to my car.
There wouldn’t be blood on the outside of the car if you got stabbed in the leg.
Chreed96@reddit
How did you run with a knife in yourlegs? Why does the knife line up with your pants sitting down and not standing up? Why hadn't it started clotting yet?
MikeHoteI@reddit
I don't know i am drunk.
Objective-Lawyer5428@reddit
"Any witnesses? Why did nobody call an ambulance?"
LordVaderVader@reddit
Easier just to say I stabbed myself in my car because of midlife crisis. Being drunk makes the lie stronger.
psycuhlogist@reddit
DUI doesn't require intent. Only that you're doing it. You're still screwed
WeaponizedPineapple@reddit
Arguments often break out while I’m drinking alone too. What’s up with that?
DeliriumRostelo@reddit
I mean couldnt you say you were drinking and accidentally cut open your hand or something ? And not being able to answer questions coherently is fine as long as you can stick to the central thing of this being an emergency, youre drunk after all.
slightlyunbeaten@reddit
i know that lying in court is a punishable offense in most countries. However, at least where i’m from, there’s no legal punishment for lying to cops or during an interrogation.
LopsidedPost9091@reddit
Lying to the cops is not a crime
CasanovaWong@reddit
Believe it or not, obstruction of justice is 100% a crime. Like, textbook crime
LopsidedPost9091@reddit
Depends on the situation but in general yes I detract my statement
gjb94@reddit
Yeah the fact that the cop drove him is the nail in the coffin here. That's a lot of sitting together talking
ur_moms_boy-toy@reddit
I've done this and it worked. This is legal advice.
Iwubinvesting@reddit
Simple questioning on who stabbed him and any story on that, the knife evidence will show that he did it to himself with his own knife. It's a larp.
ThatGuyFrom720@reddit
Yeah bro’s gotta do some practice on his story and entry angle before this. But I think just simply saying he got mugged, didn’t hand over his stuff and got stabbed in return. Make up a place and stick with it no matter what, and hope to god you’re heading the direction of a clinic or hospital.
PhantomCruze@reddit
Scroll down to the last time a bot posted this and you'll see how it went
qoheletal@reddit
If it's stupid and it works it ain't stupid
skykingjustin@reddit
Fake: cop would of smelt alcohol
Gay: he just wanted to ride (with) officer
sun_is_rising@reddit
would have*
BirbsAreSoCute@reddit
Oh, shush
sun_is_rising@reddit
I'm sorry but "would of" makes me go mental
BirbsAreSoCute@reddit
As do I, but it doesn't say "would of"
sun_is_rising@reddit
well as you can see the comment was edited
Bloo_PPG@reddit
Gay: OP got penetrated
Floridamanfishcam@reddit
I think the idea is that, since it was an emergency having been stabbed, the alcohol and the car accident would be forgivable. Obviously, yeah though, it's fake haha
Thisisjimmi@reddit
I've actually done this. I was swerving at 4 am on the way to work, half awake, and I swerved near a cop. I had a gallon of unsweetened ice tea in my car for work so I just twisted the lid off and dumped it. I told him that I was swerving trying to catch it before it fell.
Gave me a warning
TheDevilsAdvokaat@reddit
Be me. Miss my alarm and wake up abotu ten minutes before I am due at the office. Put on my clthes frantically..long sleeved shirt, tie, long trousers.
Look at myself in the mirror and realise I am all rumpled. My genius mind decides to iron my clothes..but to do while I am still wearing them, to save time.
So I do. I arrive at work burned and sore in multiple places, especially my wrists.
CornSmooch@reddit
Very much didn’t happen.
HowtoCrackanegg@reddit
A tale as old as time. Op thinks this is a cheatcode, does it again, gets drunk, drives into cop car, stabs himself, nicks an artery dies.
Fidgie0@reddit
The question is, if someone else *had* stabbed you and you were drunk and tried to drive yourself to the hospital, would you be punished if caught?
DeadlySocks@reddit
You wouldn't be punished if you can use a so-called 'excuse'. This gets used in cases where what you did was illegal (in the greentext driving while drunk, since that's a criminal offense) but due to the circumstances it's okay(excused) you did it. The drunk driving is justified since saving someone(yourself) is a more pressing matter. You have to weigh the badness of the criminal offense up against the justification. If you're drunk driving because else you'll miss your barber appointment, it's not gonna hold up. I'm not from the US so I don't know all the details there but it's a pretty common rule in criminal law systems.
The page I linked below actually has a pretty similar situation as an example. https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/excuse
Dammit_Meg@reddit
It's called an affirmative defense I think, and it's the worst kind of defense, because you're admitting you did the bad thing; you're just saying you had a good reason.
Self-defense is a good example. Someone assaults you, you hit htem back, they get hurt or die. Are you in the clear?
Maybe. But your attorney will tell you not to even go that far usually. Unless the evidence is air-tight and you're completely fucked, the better play is to aim for reasonable doubt. If there's even a slim chance you didn't do it, if they don't have enough evidence, you SHOULD avoid the conviction. (Of course the US criminal justice system is a joke.)
"Yes this man broke into my house so I shot him" is a harder defense than, "Your honor, no one saw my client shoot the robber. There was no gun found and no shell casing. Anyone could have shot this man."
Does everyone know what happened? Sure. Can they prove it to the degree required to convict? No. So by law (if followed correctly) you cannot be convicted.
In practice it's not that cut and dry and things go sideways all the time. But it's still your best bet.
DeadlySocks@reddit
Yeah that's kind of the whole point, that you did it but had a good reason. That's why the legal framework exists... for the cases where what you did was justified.
Again, I'm not familiar with US law so i can't comment on it but the different grounds that justify crimes are pretty common. In my country most justification grounds are codified in the law, for a good reason. Namely that they're a good ground to not punish someone.
The example with no gun no shell etc is way too cherrypicked for me to even comment on.
Dammit_Meg@reddit
I think not being familiar with US law here is what's causing you confusion.
The US is not a fair place. The justice system works on technicalities more than anything.
Hence you're far more likely to get out of trouble here by just not admitting to it, rather than admitting to it but saying you had a good reason.
My understanding is similar legal systems in other countries are much more "fair". So an affirmative defense may make more sense there.
puff_of_fluff@reddit
You a lawyer? Seem to have a pretty solid understanding of the legal system.
I’m not, but my dad was, so I consider myself slightly more knowledgeable about things than a complete layperson.
Dammit_Meg@reddit
No, but I've had two close personal friends fucked over by the legal system for stuff they didn't do (and I'm 100% sure of that on both counts).
I do my best to at least have a passing understanding of what causes problems.
Baggytrousers27@reddit
That's horrifying yet educational.
Dammit_Meg@reddit
The US is different from most other countries in this regard.
In other countries there is more of an overall, "let's try to get to the bottom of this" from both sides.
In the US the defense will play any dirty trick imaginable to get their client free... so the prosecution plays every dirty track imaginable to convict.
Theoretically, in their minds, it cancels each other out and the innocent will prevail... or something.
In reality less so.
DeadlySocks@reddit
Ah I see, thanks for clarifying!
Baggytrousers27@reddit
For starters leave the knife in so you don't bleed as much. "Was playing with my knife while drunk and it slipped, live alone with no ambulance insurance so tried to drive to the hospital." Bob's your auntie.
fearofalmonds@reddit
Fake: Anon have improvised in a crisis Gay: Anon just wanted an object inside of him
MariusCatalin@reddit
could work if you honest to be fair, say you drunk and you got stabbed and decided to run
Top_Boysenberry_6552@reddit
On the way to the hospital the cop smells alcohol coming off me and asks the hospital to test my blood to see how much alcohol is in my system
> get prosecuted for drunk driving
malkavian_menace@reddit
Well yeah but you might be able to weasel away with an excuse like “I just have to get to the hospital officer” if the cop is chill enough. Key word if though
CasanovaWong@reddit
No cop is going to be chill after you t-bone them going through a red light at an intersectio, lol.
AbyssWankerArtorias@reddit
A good cop would dismiss that when they see you were stabbed. And then be pissed as fuck when the hospital informs the police the wound was likely self inflicted
CasanovaWong@reddit
Cops are not stupid. They would be able to tell if this knife wound happened in the 30 seconds it takes to get out of his cruiser and get to your car, lol. They’re going to assume OP was playing with a knife while drunk driving and got stabbed during the crash.
ElPlatanaso2@reddit
Nothing another stabbing can't fix
Jabathewhut@reddit
Processing img g33drb232ltg1...
Jessie_Soto_@reddit
Indeed
crepoef@reddit
No shit the cop would know he was drunk. He's not trying to convince anyone he wasn't he's trying to convince the officer his drunk driving was justified.
costikocev@reddit
Processing img m5t9kovk6ltg1...
Sure_Association_991@reddit
Is the breathalyzer here with us
myn3meisjo3@reddit
And then the doctors would detect alcohol in his breath