Why do I feel so unsatisfied and empty with my job and life in general? M20 London
Posted by Old-Natural-4746@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 10 comments
Disclaimer - I am aware I am lucky compared to most, and should not feel this way. Basically, I don’t want this to come across as an ungrateful post!
For background, I am 20 years old and currently living in London on a degree apprenticeship scheme at a large financial firm.
For a while now I have felt entirely unfulfilled and meh in general with my job. And sometimes, my life outside work overall! I think this is largely driven by the fact that despite knowing I’m incredibly lucky to essentially have a “guaranteed job” upon finishing this scheme in 2.5 years as well as no student debt my life feels completely empty and soulless. As nice as my team are at work they can be exceptionally harsh with feedback given the nature of where I work, and nothing is ever enough despite having good performance reviews. I also feel that whilst this job has grown me professionally and academically I have lost all sense of any individual personality that I used to have and have also missed out on lots of the actual fun that my friends have had who stayed at home or went to university due to the never ending demands of the office and/or degree/professional exams.
I did at one point think this may be wider mental health issues however I’ve largely ruled this out as at weekends/PTO and time off for studying I am suddenly fine again.
Overall, completely unsure what to do as the problems here I’m totally aware can be faced at any 9-5 job and I don’t want to just fall into the bucket of young people who seem entitled and not aware what to do.
I know that at nearly 2 years out of 4 in I’m far too deep in to quit and realistically what would I do, but wondering if this is simply just how the working world will feel or if it’s normal when junior at a job?
CagedSwan@reddit
Tbh life in itself can be empty as well as rewarding. It depends how you look at it.
True, everything is temporary, yet moments in our life can shape us into incredible people.
Without going into religion, it helps me to think that we are all divine seeds in the image of God, planted into various situations.
No one can govern their environment, in fact, the environment governs the plant, reflecting and impacting on their external traits.
Yet, there are certain qualities of a flower that cannot be removed, and it can still flourish, albeit in a less than ideal state.
What I am trying to say is, we cannot say who is watching us, but they definitely identify with us, and whose to say they won't transplant us into a better situation?
So focus on being your best self, enjoying life and others around you, with no regrets, and by making yourself proud, you could be relating to God.
ItsDominare@reddit
Very few people are fortunate enough to enjoy their job. For the rest of us, we just have to suck it up and get on with it.
Bubbly_Possible9057@reddit
I think most people feel like that in a job at some stage, or even all the time.
You're supposed to be spending your money in your time off on things that make you feel better so that it feels worthwhile.
finniruse@reddit
One issue is that humans are designed to move. We're meant to exhaust themselves daily. When you're trapped in a room for 8 hours a day, keeping up with life, trying to enjoy it, you end up wrecked. This can throw you off and keep you off unless you're aware of it. There's a self-care piece you can work on to improve your day to day.
The second thing is something I've been dabbling with for two weeks. I just turned 40. Normally I'd have some existential dread and low-key fear of ageing while enjoying myself. Not this year. This year, for some reason, I feel totally content.
I feel content because, for the first time, I'm not looking for satisfaction elsewhere. I'd always wanted money, or a house, or to be admired, or to be in shape, all these things that are far off. But I just realised I have everything I could want. A partner I love. A cat I love. My family. These are the things money can't buy.
I'm now thinking, if I can pursue things that make each day as satisfying and joyous as possible, I'll be even more happy. And that means, exercise, seeking work I enjoy, more social stuff, and hobbies.
The annoying thing about advice like this is that you'll have heard it before but until it clicks it's basically worthless. In essence I'm saying, live in the moment. But I guess my current understanding of it is to seek reasons to be thankful and happy in the moment.
(Powered by six months of ADHD pills).
PsychologicalRun1911@reddit
2.5 years is a long way away. Your job might not even exist in that timespan and if it does then not long after it'll be gone. White collar computer jobs have a very short window.
You feel empty now. Save this feeling. Write it down, in 5 years you're going to wish for it to return to this.
beernon@reddit
Because finance offers no personal fulfilment or benefit to the world, no offence. When you start a 9-5 your job very much consumes a large portion of your life and if it isn’t working out for you then you take a hit. I started a corporate role and I feel utterly miserable so perhaps I’m just projecting here.
Revolutionary_West56@reddit
I’ve been there. It’s the fact you say you’re fine outside of work that’s the give away - your job isn’t the right path for you and giving you these feelings.
Don’t worry about ‘how you should be feeling’ or that your life looks great on the outside. It’s widely documented that depression doesn’t give a fuck about that.
RayaQueen@reddit
It's a bit hard to comment not knowing your firm/role but there are almost always other types of companies within the sector which will love to have someone with this apprenticeship under their belt. Smaller companies who work more creatively/in a particular niche/with new ideas.
What kind of things are you actually passionate about? Maybe not in finance at all even. Research and see if you can find companies that need your skills in those areas. That might give you the motivation to keep at this for the next two years, knowing there's something interesting and worthwhile that you're working towards.
I was in a similar situation at your age and I wish I had done the research and found a company that was making change in the world.. they did exist then and moreso surely now.
In the end I just left the sector altogether (for this and other reasons) but overall it would have been better to stay and find the place I could be most useful.
WeeklyPermission239@reddit
How's your social life? Do you feel close to people?
Could it be loneliness?
Sneaky_Hint@reddit
Sounds like you just don't find purpose in your work. There's no shame in that, for most people it's just to put food on the table and fund their lives outside of work, but for some they need more than that.
The job market is awful at the moment, so I say stick with it for now to stay financially secure, but look into alternative paths for a career you have an actual interest in even if it's in another field. Work will be half your life, so might as well find something you'll actually feel proud of.
You're only 20, so you have a LOT of time to think it over, it's not something you need to decide upon now. Take it a day at a time for now, mate, you're doing really good for your age.