Is it like, a stereotypical middle-aged housewife with an apron on and curlers in her hair? Who is a little thick from the years but a lot of that weight went to her hips, ass, and boobs? And she still wears clothes when she was about fifteen pounds lighter so they’re tight on her, showing her curves and leaving nothing to the imagination. Her husband hasn’t fucked her in months because his libido is in the shitter and she’s nearly feral for the dick. And so she answers the door and you ask her about antiviruses but you could be talking in Arabic and it wouldn’t matter. She’s picturing herself in all the porn videos she watches while her husband is asleep on the couch, where you’re the door-to-door salesman who’s going to fuck her on the kitchen table and she’s the naughty little housewife who likes it in the ass from strangers.
Is it that kind of housewife? Because I don’t think I could explain antiviruses or anything to a woman like that. I’m not good at that sort of thing.
do a thing for me, go to the hardware store and buy some antifreeze. pour about 8 shots. admire your disgusting wretched reflection in one of the glasses, then down each and every cup.
I like FOSS but people who make that part of their identity are insufferable. Those are the types of people who assume that everyone is willing to become proficient with technology.
"You don't need AV, mom, just don't install closed-source software and compile everything yourself. Why aren't you using WSL like I told you to?! Do I have to explain it again?"
honestly anti-viruses in 2026 are kind of a scam. if you have important stuff on your computer you should have an offline backup somewhere. if you manage to get a virus, just reinstall the OS
"You know when people see a mouse inside their house, sometimes they use a cat to catch them. Antiviruses work just like that but for your computer. Your computer might catch a pest when you navigate through the internet, like going to the wrong website, or one trying to pass as something else, or one that you shouldn't be going... So you need a cat to catch that pest and that cat is called an antivirus.
Problem is, there are multiple cats you can choose but they all have issues: Microsoft Defender might or might not catch the mouse, Avast is like a fat orange lazy cat, McAfee brings all his homeless homies to your house uninvited, Kaspersky is somewhat efficient but always wants to play at like 3am, etc."
What do you do to keep people out of your house? Why you lock the door of course. What if you forget? Antiviruses are like strangers you pay for to keep inside of your house and lock the door for you.
thr33beggars@reddit
Is it like, a stereotypical middle-aged housewife with an apron on and curlers in her hair? Who is a little thick from the years but a lot of that weight went to her hips, ass, and boobs? And she still wears clothes when she was about fifteen pounds lighter so they’re tight on her, showing her curves and leaving nothing to the imagination. Her husband hasn’t fucked her in months because his libido is in the shitter and she’s nearly feral for the dick. And so she answers the door and you ask her about antiviruses but you could be talking in Arabic and it wouldn’t matter. She’s picturing herself in all the porn videos she watches while her husband is asleep on the couch, where you’re the door-to-door salesman who’s going to fuck her on the kitchen table and she’s the naughty little housewife who likes it in the ass from strangers.
Is it that kind of housewife? Because I don’t think I could explain antiviruses or anything to a woman like that. I’m not good at that sort of thing.
peepeeinmypajts@reddit
Your writing has gotten so much better over the years you know that. You used to be one of the less funny ones here. I feel so proud of you.
thr33beggars@reddit
Thank you, that actually means a lot.
I guess that’s what years of semen retention does to a mf’er.
Alive_Ice7937@reddit
That coconut must be considered a war crime at this point
Xardnas69@reddit
It was a warcrime from the beginning
ThatFuckingGeniusKid@reddit
Eternal_Flame24@reddit
PM_GiantessBBW@reddit
Subscribed
morzikei@reddit
That's a very vivid scenario
Almost like you've thought about housewives like that before
Prestigious-Fig1172@reddit
He pay attention to the plot when watching poern
MoistStub@reddit
Let's just say he is drawing inspiration from his childhood home life
thr33beggars@reddit
Yeah, my mom had put up a “Yes soliciting” sign on our front door. Didn’t even know they made those.
Prestigious-Fig1172@reddit
I too like fat hip curvy women in tight clothes.
EuenovAyabayya@reddit
Now this is proper grentext.
sanecomputing@reddit
okay, this is fucking peak writing
Charcharles4@reddit
Teknevra@reddit
icaro_93@reddit
it's your fault i have a boner now
also how do i find women built like that on porn sites?
TheYeast1@reddit
moragdong@reddit
Finally, some non-gay shit once coming from you.
SehrGuterContent@reddit
Cdog536@reddit
TomatoSpecialist6879@reddit
Jowip2@reddit
Hot_Guys_In_My_DMS@reddit
Should’ve been me
SoupaMayo@reddit
Processing img n7rg2xm59etg1...
DefinitelyNotDonny@reddit
True
RattyCyanide@reddit
do a thing for me, go to the hardware store and buy some antifreeze. pour about 8 shots. admire your disgusting wretched reflection in one of the glasses, then down each and every cup.
forchinski@reddit
Actually, you should speak to my son. He's a bit odd but he's really good with those computers.
BemusedBengal@reddit
No thanks, I can smell him from here. Judging by the Arch Linux logo on your front door, I assume he only installs free and open source software.
BirbsAreSoCute@reddit
What type of fuckin corporate shill is making fun of people who install FOSS lmfao
BemusedBengal@reddit
I like FOSS but people who make that part of their identity are insufferable. Those are the types of people who assume that everyone is willing to become proficient with technology.
"You don't need AV, mom, just don't install closed-source software and compile everything yourself. Why aren't you using WSL like I told you to?! Do I have to explain it again?"
Rupan_the_III@reddit
honestly anti-viruses in 2026 are kind of a scam. if you have important stuff on your computer you should have an offline backup somewhere. if you manage to get a virus, just reinstall the OS
BirbsAreSoCute@reddit
Also, run sus shit in a VM
Brave-Influence7510@reddit (OP)
fake: anon is a windows user, hence the Kaspersky antivirus
gay: anon wants to talk to a husband of a 45 year old milf
EuenovAyabayya@reddit
"Sorry, may I speak to your ex-husband?"
UpbeatRegister@reddit
"You know when people see a mouse inside their house, sometimes they use a cat to catch them. Antiviruses work just like that but for your computer. Your computer might catch a pest when you navigate through the internet, like going to the wrong website, or one trying to pass as something else, or one that you shouldn't be going... So you need a cat to catch that pest and that cat is called an antivirus.
Problem is, there are multiple cats you can choose but they all have issues: Microsoft Defender might or might not catch the mouse, Avast is like a fat orange lazy cat, McAfee brings all his homeless homies to your house uninvited, Kaspersky is somewhat efficient but always wants to play at like 3am, etc."
chlebasmiatou@reddit
And if you buy 2 or more, they will play with the other ones and ignore the mice.
ThrowAbout01@reddit
Unfortunately, this response is right on the money.
OP:
SmoothPimp85@reddit
Like blurring out eyes in photos of babies - protects the computer from the evil eye
vahaala@reddit
It's Oscillococcinum but for your PC.
Tekniqly@reddit
What do you do to keep people out of your house? Why you lock the door of course. What if you forget? Antiviruses are like strangers you pay for to keep inside of your house and lock the door for you.
THEPIGWHODIDIT@reddit
It's a condom for your sailor husband