OP, you edited the original post without specifying that you edited it, and I’m going to address the new info you added. In the new edits to your post, you take offense to being called selfish and you ask about the reality of caring for all of these elderly people.

The answer is that you might not be able to do it realistically, and if you can’t realistically do it, then that is understandable. But the problem with your original post is that you were cold and unfeeling—proudly cold and unfeeling, by the way—and you plainly centered your emotional frigidity by talking about essentially not having any basic sense of morals.

Your original post did NOT ask about how to manage the stress or the finances or how to realistically handle the physical care. Your original post wasn’t focused around the practical concerns; the practical concerns took a backseat in the original post. Now, you’re backpedaling with a surreptitious, unlabeled edit and are now trying to make it sound like you’ve been worried about practical concerns this whole time. But for those of us following the original post and this thread, we know you’re lying. You’re just trying to CYA now, because you got called out on your coldness.

The reality is that we are all terrified of the practical aspects of taking care of our parents. The reality is the overwhelming majority of us don’t have enough money to do it, don’t have enough resources, and there aren’t enough bodies or hands in our generation to take care of the bodies in the aging generation. We’re all just figuring it out the best we can, because another reality is that we don’t have social support or social systems in place to cope with elders in society. We are all poor and we are ALL flailing at elder care. That’s the truth.

Where we differ from you, OP, is that we are NOT all frigid assholes who defend our lack of resources by equating them with a lack of moral obligation toward good parents.

My parents don’t expect a thing. But I AM moved by an inner morality, and thank god for that, because I’d sure hate to move through the world with your attitude. Do I have the money to back up my intentions? Nope. But I can face myself in the mirror and don’t have to spend my time rationalizing a shitty attitude, like you do.

BTW, we also all noticed that you change the original wording where are you sounded condescending about your mom crying, and your new wording sounds nicer about your mom. Again, you’re sneaking and trying to CYA because you got called out.

Gen X-er here without kids, but I do have aging parents and will answer based on that. I know for a fact that my parents do not expect me to take care of them and don’t want me to take care of them, because they have said they don’t want me to be burdened. However, I WILL take care of them as much as I can for as long as I realistically can. They are imperfect people who have overall been great parents and softened many of the blows life has dealt me. I watched them slave away at work, watched them care for their folks, and watched them get dealt blows, too, even though they planned and saved as much as they could. Life’s unplanned BS can mean it’s never enough, though.

And yes, it is a moral obligation to be good in turn when people have been good to me, even when those people tell me I owed them nothing. It’s not about the owing; it’s about the KINDNESS. If I don’t feel inspired to be kind after experiencing kindness myself, then what is the fucking point of even living in this world surrounded by other people?