Hey… Hay is for horses

[-]

inafishbowl17@reddit

Where you born in a barn? If you left a door open or held it open too long.

Close the door I'm not heating the whole neighborhood.

[-]

Positively_Eric@reddit

I'm going to go take a dump. You should leave a dump instead of taking it.

[-]

CorgiMonsoon@reddit

Whenever I hear/see people automatically pull out the don’t end sentences with a preposition “rule”

[-]

Daylight-Silence@reddit

The only way I ever recall the don't end a sentence with a preposition thing is from the Beavis and Butthead movie. And I was an English major.

[-]

Right, because as you know, it's not actually a rule. Editors call that a "zombie rule." It's been dead for a long time, but it still walks among us because people keep referencing it, thinking they sound educated. Another zombie rule is "don't start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so)." For that is also complete horseshit. And that's all I'll say about that.

[-]

CorgiMonsoon@reddit

I know that preposition “rule” came from the 17th century and grammarians trying to make English emulate Latin. So it’s nonsense in English because to always avoid it you’d end up sounding insufferably pretentious

[-]

Age_AgainstThMachine@reddit

I didn’t know either of those weren’t actually rules. I probably sound unintentionally pretentious when I reorganize my sentences to avoid ending with a preposition. I have allowed myself to become lax on starting sentences with the word “but”, and maybe “and”.

[-]

VioletEMT@reddit

English teacher's kid here. This one always got me because in the case of "whacking off," the "off" is an adverb, not a preposition. It describes how they were whacking. In order for a word to serve as a preposition there has to be a noun that the word describes the verb's relation to. For example, "your mom." So they could be sitting on your mom while they were whacking off, but they are not whacking off your mom. They could be whacking off to your mom, but in that case "to" is the preposition. Etc.

[-]

Fun4TheNight218@reddit

Please tell me that your mother yelled at you for this at least once and you used this example as your justification.

[-]

VioletEMT@reddit

Alas, only in my head.

[-]

Fun4TheNight218@reddit

Sigh. Would have been epic. But I can't say I blame you

[-]

MundaneHuckleberry58@reddit

I’m dying

[-]

Kriegerian@reddit

“Bork, you’re a federal agent, never end a sentence in a preposition.”

[-]

theUmo@reddit

This is the kind of nonsense up with which we should all refuse to put.

[-]

Golden_Enby@reddit

gif

[-]

Next-Honeydew4130@reddit

lol

[-]

Scrotchety@reddit

I'll promise never to do it from here on out

[-]

heyitscory@reddit

I say "Thanks, you're right, a preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with."

[-]

Pree-chee-ate-cha@reddit

This is great

[-]

tarmgabbymommy79@reddit

My kindergarten teacher's name was Mrs. Dunn. You said "I'm done!" She says "No I'm Dunn, you're finished!"

[-]

hovercraftracer@reddit

Hey Straw is cheaper. Grass is free. Buy a farm, you get all three!

[-]

frauziller@reddit

Hay is for horses,

and sometimes for cows.

Piggies would eat it,

but they don't know how!

[-]

Dboogy2197@reddit

Oh nice. Never heard that one.

[-]

MightyCaseyStruckOut@reddit

Hay is for horses, cows eat grass

Say it again, I'll kick your ass

[-]

MooingTree@reddit

Hay

Straw

Donkey Manure

Please sir, may I have some more

[-]

Brakoli@reddit

Hay is for horses Grass is free Buy a farm and you get all three

[-]

UnusualHoneydew1625@reddit

Hay’s for horses, not for people. Go to Zayre’s and get it cheaper.

Yes, I know it’s stupid and doesn’t even rhyme. Eat me. 😂

[-]

joeloud@reddit

My mom/her parents would say “straw’s cheaper, grass is free, cows eat it, why don’t we?”

[-]

thorneparke@reddit

That's the one I'm familiar with

[-]

WalkielaWhatsUp@reddit

Hay is for horses

Straw is for sheep

Marry a farmer

And get them both cheap

[-]

phoenix0r@reddit

We won! We can all say Hey as much as we want as adults. So there, hay is for horses old people.

[-]

studiotec@reddit

I met someone that used "HEY!" To begin 90% of new sentences. I guess he won the most.

[-]

iwilldefinitelynot@reddit

It's funny because Hey is seemingly the hot new brand name of products.

[-]

Next-Honeydew4130@reddit

lol we did in fact win

[-]

OvenLovin@reddit

"Can I go to the bathroom?" "I don't know, can you?"

[-]

markuspeloquin@reddit

I honestly hate it when people say 'may'. It's a useless distinction.

[-]

bcentsale@reddit

"May" is seeking permission or possibly. "Can" is assessing ability. Anyone can rob a bank, or at least attempt it. However, one may or "may not* attempt it, and, generally speaking, doing so will always be without the permission of the bank or the law. It's proper grammar and sets an educated individual apart from the luddites.

[-]

Fun4TheNight218@reddit

I remember puzzling over a sign that used to sit in the lobby of my high school gym. I assume they put it out when there was a game or something. It said: If You Leave You May Not Come Back. I knew that they meant it to mean you will not be allowed back, but that "May Not" just kept insisting to me that it could also mean "Might Not" which is an entirely different sentiment. Cannot would have been much better in that case.

[-]

Famous-Somewhere-@reddit

I think you mean Philistines, not luddites.

[-]

bcentsale@reddit

You are correct. I blame insufficient caffeine.

[-]

Much_Bed6652@reddit

I would have blames the Philistines…

[-]

theelephantupstream@reddit

I say this gently because I understand the attachment to what we perceive as correct where language is concerned: this is dated and pedantic. Language evolves, and the permissive form of can is used so frequently in common speech as to render the distinction meaningless and unnecessary.

[-]

lordnecro@reddit

Except that this isn't actually a correct distinction.

[-]

markuspeloquin@reddit

Cool, but that distinction didn't always exist. May used to mean 'to be able'. Proper grammer was created by people distinguish and elevate themselves above the working class. I hope you enjoy being better than me.

[-]

Golden_Enby@reddit

Language consistently changes. It's done so ever since humans invented all the different variations. Just because something was one way at one point doesn't mean it should remain that way for eternity. There are countless things that have changed over the centuries because the old way was outdated.

[-]

bcentsale@reddit

I know, generally towards common simplicity. I've studied 6 and fluently speak 3 of them. While I can't say with 100% certainty, at least without looking which I'm disinclined to do because it's just not important, I believe there are also legal distinctions between can and may. While I pride myself on using proper grammar, and teaching it to my kids, I don't correct people on a regular basis, because communication on any level is more important than pedantry. If the idea gets across it's all that matters. And because for the vast majority of people it's about as effective as correcting a mollusk.

[-]

bcentsale@reddit

I don't generally give it a second thought.

[-]

Massive-Resort-8573@reddit

There was always THAT teacher too. Seemed like it was always old math teachers at my school. Ironically never the english teacher.

[-]

BloodyEyeGames@reddit

Ours was the vice principal.
Us: I'm cold.
Him: Think warm thoughts.

Us: Can I go to the bathroom?
Him: I don't know, can you?

Us: I assume...
Him: Don't assume. It makes an ass out of u and me.

[-]

DickWhittingtonsCat@reddit

That last one is from Undersiege II

[-]

Mysterious-Guess-773@reddit

Ours was Mr Connochie, primary 6 teacher.

Him (reading the register): Mysterious-Guess-773 Me: Here Him: John Smith Me: He’s off… Him: I can smell that from here but where is he?

My dad delighted in hearing of Mr C’s dad jokes too so he amused everyone.

[-]

GaspSpit@reddit

My father (immigrated to the US) always said, “why do they call it a bathroom when not every toilet area has a bathtub? They should call it a washroom so no one would not forget to wash their hands.” So us kids got used to calling it “the washroom.” I guess he had a good point?

[-]

badgergoesnorth@reddit

I've always called it the washroom.

[-]

GaspSpit@reddit

Now I do, but not in front of my father. 😄

[-]

CallidoraBlack@reddit

Did he also get into a huff about restroom?

[-]

GaspSpit@reddit

Actually yes! We didn’t dare call it a restroom because it’s just a place for relieving yourself and washing hands. The bedroom should be called “the restroom” according to my him and many others, I’m sure.

[-]

hallowdmachine@reddit

"I'm gonna run to the store."

"Why don't you drive?"

[-]

nullpassword@reddit

It's only a block and gas is expensive.

[-]

PhiloLibrarian@reddit

I got this constantly….

[-]

Polkawillneverdie17@reddit

If a teacher ever pulled that shit, I just stopped asking.

[-]

Vehlin@reddit

My personal bugbear is “Can I get a coffee/beer/etc”, no you can’t, you stay on that side of the bar.

[-]

Scrabblewiener@reddit

“I’m gonna go jump in the shower”

“Whoa there! You’re gonna break your neck!

[-]

CommunicationSad3467@reddit

Dont jump too hard, you'll break the shower.

[-]

rodw@reddit

Barkeep, may I purchase a coffee/beer/etc?

[-]

CMJunkAddict@reddit

Teacher once pulled this on a student, kid did not get it, a back and forth worthy of “who’s on first” ensues for about ten mins before the teacher just gives up.

[-]

andiinAms@reddit

I was just thinking about this yesterday

[-]

Primary-Strawberry-5@reddit

I drop this one all the time. It’s fun being annoying

[-]

Sodamyte@reddit

Do you pick it up?

[-]

Primary-Strawberry-5@reddit

Nope. I leave it for others to enjoy

[-]

SimplyTheApnea@reddit

gif

[-]

Large-Inspection-487@reddit

My mother was the queen of “I don’t know, can you?”

[-]

Sebastian_dudette@reddit

Hay is for horses, but grass will get you higher.

[-]

Beautiful-Bug-9022@reddit

gif

[-]

Fallenangel152@reddit

"What time is it,"

"Time you got a watch!"

Haven't had that one since we all stayed telling time on our phones.

[-]

translinguistic@reddit

"It's 4:20. Got a minute?"

[-]

DontHugMe73@reddit

“Exactly 24 hour since this time yesterday “ or “exactly 24 hour from this time tomorrow “

[-]

Kobeer01@reddit

Looking at my wrist... "Skin till, or skin past"

[-]

maceilean@reddit

Me: "Time to eat all your words, swallow your pride, open your eyes."

My kid: "What?"

[-]

velocity__wagon@reddit

Just sowing the seeds of love

[-]

Enge712@reddit (OP)

Half past a monkeys ass and halfway to his balls.

Three hairs past a freckle.

Both retorted to being asked the time

[-]

spazilator@reddit

We would say “half past a monkey’s ass, a quarter ‘til his balls”

I say this to my kids occasionally only to be met with offended stares and guffaws

[-]

Jupiter68128@reddit

Are you also in the camp of “fuck fuck fuck a duck, screw a kangaroo, finger bang an orangutan and now you’ve done the zoo”?

[-]

Junebug35@reddit

The ending I always heard/used was 'orgy in the zoo.'

[-]

drtyhppi@reddit

I always recited this the ending as "support your local zoo"

[-]

blue_suavitel@reddit

For us it was a cow’s ass. The rest was the same

[-]

IAteAnotherVegan@reddit

I heard the first one last week. think it was my first time hearing it since I was a kid, but it's still just as funny!

[-]

Intelligent-Bed7284@reddit

I always reply “Time to get ill.”

[-]

MotherofaPickle@reddit

We would ask, “What time is it?”

My dad would look at his watch and reply, “Yes.”

[-]

MillerTime_9184@reddit

I still hear this one in my head every time someone asks. I almost said it to my 3 year old last week.

[-]

missthiccbiscuit@reddit

I say this to my kid all the time

[-]

that_bish_Crystal@reddit

I joke that we went from pocket watches, to wrist watches and we have come full circle back to pocket watches. 😆

[-]

Plumeria9798@reddit

I still use this on my kids. Same with hay is for horses. Apparently I’m old now.

[-]

bolunez@reddit

Hay is for eatin, straw is for shittin on

[-]

MisRandomness@reddit

Guess what?

[-]

MisRandomness@reddit

Chicken butt

[-]

Kobeer01@reddit

You're a __ and I'm not 🤣🤣

[-]

punt-speedchick@reddit

I grew up with "hay costs money, grass is free. Horses eat it, why don't we?"

[-]

VincentMac1984@reddit

Don’t take any wooden nickels

[-]

abslte23@reddit

Hey is for horses and..... ass's

[-]

junkholiday@reddit

I heard a dad say it to his kid yesterday and it was a delightful throwback

[-]

GrungeCheap56119@reddit

Jinx!

[-]

Independent_Wish_862@reddit

Up your butt and around the corner

[-]

cat_at_the_keyboard@reddit

Guess what? Chicken butt

[-]

AssSpelunkingAtheist@reddit

Guess who? Chicken poo.

[-]

killerization@reddit

Why? Chicken thigh.

[-]

DontHugMe73@reddit

😂 my favorite

[-]

QuixoticLogophile@reddit

My teenager said this the other day

[-]

thatotherguy57@reddit

I heard this at work a few years back. I had not heard it since probably '99 or so.

[-]

burnafter3ading@reddit

I still can't picture this in a biological sense.

[-]

Slopii@reddit

"ain't ain't a word."

[-]

Boring_Blood4603@reddit

My opa used to say "Hay is for horses, big and strong. You're not a horse, your ears are too long" then he would laugh this big belly laugh.

[-]

Maleficent-Box4114@reddit

“I brought you into this world…” was always a threat. Super cute way to tell a child you want to murder them /s

[-]

No_Device9450@reddit

I don’t shut up, I grow up. And when I look at you I throw up.

[-]

MundaneHuckleberry58@reddit

Wait no. I still hear this from 6th graders at the middle school lol

[-]

Intelligent-Invite79@reddit

“And then your mother goes around the corner and she licks it up…” Finding new and, preferably, disgusting ways to degrade a friend's mother was always held in high regard.

[-]

No_Device9450@reddit

Your mom goes to college. Hmph. (Kip Dynamite voice)

[-]

andiinAms@reddit

Stand by Me

[-]

worksnake@reddit

Did you grow up in NJ?

[-]

Intelligent-Invite79@reddit

I wish , it’s a quote from stand by me.

[-]

Zehdarian@reddit

Literally just watched that again last night lol

[-]

icybowler3442@reddit

Don’t call me any of your mother’s pet names

[-]

Nasom@reddit

Where did this come from?

[-]

altAftrAltAftrAftr@reddit

I just rewatched "Stand by Me" and it's in there. Lots of other sayings in there that were probably spread by that movie.

[-]

No_Device9450@reddit

This ☝🏼

[-]

blue_suavitel@reddit

My god my kids say this all the time

[-]

frauziller@reddit

We always said "I don't shut up, I throw up. And you come around the corner and lick it up."

[-]

DontHugMe73@reddit

“…and don’t call me surely” 🙄

[-]

DontHugMe73@reddit

I’m hungry. “Nice to meet you, hungry!”

[-]

banjo215@reddit

Not sure who else says it but I'm constantly responding to my daughter's"guess what?" With chicken butt.

[-]

cat_at_the_keyboard@reddit

Milk milk lemonade

Around the corner fudge is made

Stick your finger up the hole

And pull out a tootsie roll

[-]

Hey-buuuddy@reddit

“I know you are but what am I?”

[-]

SergeantPsycho@reddit

This is an A to B conversation so C your way out of it.

[-]

Kobeer01@reddit

It was always " this is an at&t, MCI conversation, so sprint your ass out. Granted MCI and Sprint were a lot more popular back then 🤣

[-]

SergeantPsycho@reddit

I do remember that though, lol

[-]

SergeantPsycho@reddit

Neither Sprint nor MCI is around any longer.

[-]

HicJacetMelilla@reddit

My sister thought she conquered the world when she came up with “and this is a D - E conversation so get the F out”

[-]

ponchoacademy@reddit

My ex husband used to say this one whenever I made a smart ass remark while he was talking to someone... One nite he had friends over playing cards, everyone was drunk, and he says pointing to each friend, This is a A, B, C conversation D.... ummmm... And Im staring at him pretending to be mad but trying so hard not to laugh... and he just sticks to it.. D your way out of it! I tooold her didnt I? And they were like yeah nah you're cut off man. 🤣😂

[-]

thorneparke@reddit

(Asks personal question)

"What, are you writing a book?"

(If answered affirmatively)

"Well then leave that chapter out..."

[-]

xXWestinghouseXx@reddit

When someone says "Well" and pauses, I'm pretty quick to interject "that sounds like a deep subject."

[-]

thorneparke@reddit

Ronald "Well" Reagan

[-]

MaestroLogical@reddit

Ain't isn't a word.

[-]

kbrick1@reddit

I used to hear ‘ain’t ain’t in the dictionary’

[-]

JudgeJuryEx78@reddit

Yeah, then I looked it up one day and it WAS in the dictionary.

[-]

MaracujaBarracuda@reddit

Ain’t ain’t a word and you ain’t supposed to say it, say ain’t five times and you ain’t going to heaven!

[-]

Ineedavodka2019@reddit

My dad hate when we said ain’t. So of course we would. It was not proper English and made us sound uneducated.

[-]

smolstuffs@reddit

Ain't ain't a word

[-]

Intelligent-Bed7284@reddit

And I ain’t gonna say it!

[-]

blue_suavitel@reddit

This. All the time!

[-]

BigBabyWhale@reddit

I still say it 😂. Wife looked at me like I was crazy first time I said it.

[-]

JollyJeanGiant83@reddit

No yeah-buts live here! No yeah-buts in this house!

[-]

JollyJeanGiant83@reddit

Also, See, said the blind man, as he picked up a hammer and saw.

[-]

Name_Violation83@reddit

"Hay is for horses and cows, but you're a jackass so you don't get some"

[-]

Name_Violation83@reddit

"Ain't ain't a word and I ain't gonna use it"

[-]

bioscimeg@reddit

My 8th grade math teacher had to be different. He'd say "Hay is the first stage of horse exhaust," and now I say it myself from time to time. His legacy. 🐎

[-]

basiden@reddit

"kids are baby goats" if we used it instead of "child"

[-]

Exciting-Argument-67@reddit

Wow! Some of you were raised around some real sticklers.

[-]

Pree-chee-ate-cha@reddit

I feel bad. You mean, you feel badly. Ugh. Whatever. I feel like crap. Can you just listen?

[-]

Exciting-Argument-67@reddit

That's actually bad grammar, too. "I feel bad" is correct; "I feel badly" is not. You wouldn't say "I feel goodly," right? To say "I feel badly" implies that you feel things but not very well, like a blind person feeling their way around a room and doing it badly.

[-]

mellibutta@reddit

"I'm going to get a haircut"

"Shouldn't you get them all cut?"

[-]

greggerypeccary@reddit

“Take off your coat, stay a while”

[-]

spazilator@reddit

That’s a good one. Whenever I say goodbye to a friend, instead of “see you later”, I always say “come back when you can’t stay so long”. I do this to my dad and it cracks him up every time.

[-]

andiinAms@reddit

My mom loves the “here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?”

[-]

Consistent-Ad-6506@reddit

Man, these sayings were so annoying. I’m glad they mostly died out.

[-]

FewLawfulness8782@reddit

I will still use hey is for horses but its generally reserved for my disagreeable bastard moods.

[-]

Fail_Agreeable@reddit

My mom always said:

“Hay is for horses… also the first step to horse shit!”

[-]

twig0sprog@reddit

And, Eh is for hosers

[-]

FR0GWISE@reddit

You make a better door than a window

[-]

abermel01@reddit

Waaaaay back ones from my grandpa

If someone ask your name “puddin’ tame ask me again and I’ll tell you the same”

If someone farted “Ink stink bottle stopper, who let that jolly whopper?!”

Along those same lines “Marty farty had a party and all his friends were there. Tutti fruitti let a pooty and we all went out for air.

My mom & aunt are/were sports nuts who loved to cheer (well jeer) loudly from the stands 🤦‍♀️ They loved using the chants from their school years like

“Go back go back go back into the woods, your coach can’t coach and your team’s no good!”

My favorite was “U-G-L-Y you ain’t got no alibi you’re UGLY yeah yeah you’re UGLY!” (Interestingly I only recently learned there is a second verse “M-A-M-A wonder how you got that way? YOUR MAMA yeah yeah YOUR MAMA!”

[-]

tesseractjane@reddit

Did your family ever do the extended edition of Hay is for horses?

Hay is for horses, and sometimes for cows, but piggies can't eat it 'cause they don't know how.

[-]

jbarnett81@reddit

Hay is for horses, cows eat grass.. if you don’t like it, you can kiss my ass.

[-]

Decent-Ad-5110@reddit

One time, i was writing a sign for kids' clothes, and this eldery lady spent all her breath explaining to me that only baby goats are technically called kids

[-]

Junebug35@reddit

One time, at band camp...

[-]

missgiddy@reddit

Milk milk lemonade Around the corner fudge is made

[-]

GeeAyeAreElle@reddit

Well....

Thats a deep subject.

[-]

Junebug35@reddit

My husband uses this regularly.

[-]

Reasonable-Wave8093@reddit

Jack handy

[-]

the_real_CHUD@reddit

That's a pretty deep subject for such a shallow mind.

[-]

spazilator@reddit

Any time would walk in front of my mother, maybe she was looking at something or watching TV and I was in the way she’d say “you make a better door than a window.”

I say this to my kids whenever they block my view as well 😂

[-]

Junebug35@reddit

I still use this one regularly to anyone or anything standing in my way.

[-]

rialucia@reddit

I say this to my cats now.

[-]

ponchoacademy@reddit

Woah I havnt heard that one in forever! lol

[-]

thinkspeak_@reddit

My granddad said that! Or “Have you been drinking muddy water?” He said both like I was supposed to know that meant to move out of the way and I did not know. Now the tv is up higher (like on the wall instead of on the floor) so it doesn’t apply as often

[-]

johnnyhammerstixx@reddit

Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper, and grass is free.

Buy a farm, and you get all three!

[-]

Sea2Hsix0@reddit

Reminds me of the old timer that used to help me work on my car 20 years ago, if I ever started a sentence with, “hey,” he would cut me off and say, “well that’s the first stage of horse shit son.” I’ll never forget it.

I also once overheard a very elderly gray-haired lady lean over to her friend and, in response to seeing a young pregnant woman, said, “well she got a bowl full of pumpkin seeds didn’t she.”

[-]

Junebug35@reddit

Those are awesome! I need to steal those. Lol

[-]

echochilde@reddit

“The first stage of horse shit” is an infinitely better retort.

[-]

Reasonable-Wave8093@reddit

on hikes, my dog liked to snack on the green horse pucks

[-]

echochilde@reddit

Oh dude… I’ve owned multiple border collies and heelers. Their affinity for cow patties and road apples is unrivaled. It’s like the finest caviar, but if you rolled in it, too.

[-]

Reasonable-Wave8093@reddit

Coyote poo was the favorite to roll in

[-]

EastTXJosh@reddit

My dad always told me that. Also, if I asked a question that ended with "at," (for example, where is the trash can at), he would say "between the a and the t," his way of instructing me to never end a sentence with a preposition. I never thought either one was rude. I still use both with my kids.

[-]

WildRaspberry9927@reddit

Hay is for horses Grass is green Marry a farmer and you'll have all three!

This is what i thought you were going to say.

[-]

Melliorin@reddit

This is certainly not what adults were saying, but haven't heard this in decades.

(pointing at various relevant body parts) milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner where fudge is made, if you can't see it, I don't care, I'll pull down your underwear!

[-]

BijouWilliams@reddit

I think I saw it on Bob's Burgers a while ago and it unlocked old memories

[-]

blue_suavitel@reddit

Hahhaha yeah this

[-]

theelephantupstream@reddit

I gotta say, there is actually a time and place for “Hey,” and these kids don’t know it. I’m a 43-y-o therapist and I love my 20-something clients, but it kills me when they text me with “Hey can we reschedule for tomorrow” etc. Like, we are not peers, nor are we friends although I care deeply about you as a human. It’s still a professional relationship. At least give me a, “Hey (Name), can we reschedule?” I usually hit ‘em with the, “Hi, (Name). Sure thing…” I’m positive most of them do not pick up on the hint lol.

[-]

macaroniinapan@reddit

We still say "duh" but we used to say "no duh." I sometimes wonder where the "no" went.

[-]

Inkd_Bella@reddit

If you started any sentence with Well, I always have to say, how deep? Lol

[-]

makegifsnotjifs@reddit

Don't be a budinski, be a budoutski

[-]

Lcky22@reddit

So? Sew buttons on ice cream!

[-]

FractalClock@reddit

My grandmother absolutely said that

[-]

USAF_Retired2017@reddit

I say it to my kids all the time. 😂. They’re like “I don’t get it.” Sigh. Kids these days.

[-]

neckbeardsghost@reddit

I was taught “Hay is for horses, cows eat grass, if you don’t like it you can kiss my…” slap your bum 😂

But to answer your question, growing up, I heard more times than I can count, “Were you born in a barn? Close that door! I’m not heating/cooling the outdoors!”

[-]

PostTurtle84@reddit

I tell my kid at least a couple times a year that I know for sure that he most definitely was not born in a barn, shut the door! Also that his daddy is not a glass maker, please move, I cannot see through you.

[-]

ponchoacademy@reddit

I tried to do the whole, were you born in a barn! thing and my kid would say, yup.

Like...wtf do I even say to that?! lol

[-]

kkmats@reddit

Came here to say, "Were you born in a barn?" and you beat me to it! Literally left my door open today and thought "am I born in a barn?" Lol

When I would ask my dad questions, he'd respond with, "Are you writing a book?" and when I said, "yes" he would reply with either, "skip that chapter" and if I said, "I can't" he'd say, "make it a deep, dark, mystery." There was another response but I can't seem to unlock that memory rn 🫠

[-]

DrawingTypical5804@reddit

I tried using this with the daughter. It didn’t work. Now I just neigh at her 🤣

[-]

DrMcJedi@reddit

“Hey, they’re frosted!” “Hey, we’re clay!”

This random Cheerios commercial randomly lives in my head rent free…so…Hey!

gif

[-]

ummbutter@reddit

“Guess what?” Chicken butt!

[-]

Basic-Pair8908@reddit

Mine was always whos she? A cats mother. More than hay is for horses

[-]

handsomeape95@reddit

Should bees don't make honey.

[-]

Ditzy_Davros@reddit

Hay is for horses. Chickens get plucked. I hope over the summer.. you have a good time.

[-]

Onionbot3000@reddit

My mom was raised by her grandparents. Anytime us kids left the house she’d say “write if you find work” or “don’t take any plug nickels”. She was also a big fan of “Hay is for horses” which drove me nuts 😆

[-]

kbrick1@reddit

I love these so much

[-]

Onionbot3000@reddit

I say them to my kids now. They are pretty fun 😄

[-]

man_teats@reddit

Do your homework!

Don't forget to write!

Don't talk to strangers!

Brush your teeth!

[-]

Richard_Brecky_@reddit

Pigs in the barnyard- PU, who did it come from- from you

[-]

Fairisolde@reddit

I often think of Drew Barrymore constantly correcting “nauseous” to “nauseated” in Never Been Kissed. It might be grammatically correct but it feels so bizarre to say it that way.

[-]

drinkslinger1974@reddit

Ain’t ain’t a word

[-]

Enxer@reddit

I started a variant to that. I shout "Hay" and point at a truck with hay on it every time. The wife and my oldest laugh every time.

[-]

NorseRider420@reddit

I say it at least once a week, but I have horses

[-]

PhilosopherDismal191@reddit

So, -A button!

[-]

cat_at_the_keyboard@reddit

I know you are but what am I

gif

[-]

Daylight-Silence@reddit

I'd like for "take a picture, it'll last longer" to re-enter the lexicon

[-]

cat_at_the_keyboard@reddit

gif

[-]

mlo9109@reddit

The problem is, people can literally do that now - take a picture, it'll last longer. And you know some smartass will do it.

[-]

Coriandercilantroyo@reddit

Yeah the only situation I'd say this in is if they were staring at me, and being photographed is the thing I never want

[-]

Golden_Enby@reddit

Yeah, it doesn't have the same ring to it now that smartphones exist. The joke only worked back then because most people didn't lug around cameras everywhere they went. If you said that now, chances are, your picture will be taken, uploaded, and then mocked by the internet at large.

[-]

Designer_Ad_1416@reddit

tips fedora with orange fingers *

[-]

Melliorin@reddit

gif

[-]

Shinespark7@reddit

Not in this economy

[-]

SimplyTheApnea@reddit

To my teacher. "Can I go to the bathroom?"

"I don't know can you?"

Sighing internally as a pre-teen in the 90s

"MAY I go to the bathroom?"

[-]

IAteAnotherVegan@reddit

6th grade I got suspended for 2 days for just going to the bathroom after a teacher said that to me...

[-]

Sodamyte@reddit

They did not like the a see that apparently you can..

[-]

triggeron@reddit

I swear some adults got off on the total control they had over us.

[-]

BasvanS@reddit

Grammar Nazis

[-]

FreckleFaceYOW@reddit

I still use “Hay is for horses” when my kids’ friends come over and they greet me, and adult, with “Hey.” Absolutely not. They get it real quick.

I did have a grade 7 teacher who was a stickler for grammar and pronunciation and she would always correct anyone who pronounced “been” as “bin,” and if we said we were “done” a project or test instead of “finished.” She’d say, “You are not ‘done,’ dear….a TURKEY is ‘done.’ You have FINISHED.”

[-]

lawpoop@reddit

Complaining about young people saying "like"

"Was it like really cold out, or was it really cold out?"

"Was he like 'I'm gonna go' or did he say 'I'm gonna go'?"

[-]

New_me_310@reddit

Come to my house. I say it to my kids all the time.

[-]

Massive-Resort-8573@reddit

I work in a very professional environment but realized recently that I call everyone "hey". Lol

I'm just not a name user. I don't greet people in the hall and say "Good Morning Mark" or How was your weekend, Vice President Smith?". I just say "Hey" or at most "Hey, how ya doin'". It just comes out. People smile and seem to appreciate a break from the uptightness all around us.

[-]

a_seventh_knot@reddit

And I aint no horse so go back to the stables and I'll feed you later.

Use this with the kids all the the time.

That and "a jerk is a tug, a tug is a boat, a boat floats on water, water is nature, and nature is beautiful so thank you for the compliment"

[-]

pink_faerie_kitten@reddit

Rita Rudner told a variation of this in the '80s and I thought it was genius:

A boy called her a "drip" on the playground and she replied:

"A drip is a drop, a drop is water, water is nature, nature is beautiful, thank you for the compliment."

I couldn't wait to be called a drip so I could use her comeback, but alas I never was! I wish I'd known the "jerk" variation because my sister called that a lot and I could've said it to her 😆

[-]

Designer_Ad_1416@reddit

these are obnoxious

[-]

a_seventh_knot@reddit

Yup, kinda the point

[-]

MotherofaPickle@reddit

I once said, “Have a good one!” to an elderly lady. She replied with, “A good one what?” She wanted me to be specific. She was totally messing with me. Once I caught on, we had a lovely, and lovely, debate.

My 7yo is a big fan of saying, “Mom! Guess what?!”

“Chicken butt!”

[-]

pink_faerie_kitten@reddit

My dad used to say he whole thing:

Hay is for horses, and sometimes cows

The pigs don't eat it cuz they don't know how!

[-]

analogthought@reddit

“Does a one legged duck swim in a circle” - my dad loved this one- he was born in 32’

[-]

writerkaties@reddit

Yes, I say "that's what horses eat". When someone says hey. Also if someone wants to "borrow a tissue".

[-]

TheCunningRabbit@reddit

I still say it. 😅

[-]

crymeajoanrivers@reddit

I just said it last week to my 5 year old. He was like huh?

[-]

copyrighther@reddit

I grew up with:

“Hay is for horses, I eat jello. Next time you see me, you say hello.”

[-]

Debtastical@reddit

We taught our 4 year old and he thinks it’s hilarious.

[-]

Enge712@reddit (OP)

I mean I just said it to someone in jest which is what made me think of it. But it occurred to me how antiquated it feels now.

[-]

TheCunningRabbit@reddit

I work with kids. I get to say all kinds of stupid shit. At least hey is for horses is clever.

[-]

Common_Juggernaut724@reddit

...and cows like your mom

[-]

ArenSteele@reddit

Missing comma? Or are the bovines affectionate towards your friend’s mother?

[-]

I_Can_Barely_Move@reddit

I choose to interpret their statement as this lovely compliment.

Good for your mom, OP!

[-]

meatee@reddit

gif

[-]

phoenix0r@reddit

Cows eat it too. Aren’t you glad you’re a pig?

[-]

AnonPlz123@reddit

Straw is cheaper, grass is free. Marry a farmer, get all three.

[-]

ruby_jewels@reddit

When my kids act up, I yell 'Hey!' They're always asking me what does 'Hey!' mean? I think they have a point cos I dont know either.

[-]

AggravatingOne3960@reddit

Hay is for horses, straw is for cows, milk is for babies who open their mouths

[-]

Far-Victory7638@reddit

“Milk, Milk, Lemonade, and around the corner where chocolate shakes are made”…..

For the life of me i cannot remember the context as to why this was ever a response lol

[-]

JeanEtrineaux@reddit

The grandparents also didn’t like “So?” And would reply with “Sew buttons.”

[-]

madlibs13@reddit

So?

Go sew buttons on a birthday cake. Was my grandma's response

[-]

Melonqualia@reddit

My Ex actually used to respond with "A needle pulling thread"

[-]

BlackEngineEarings@reddit

And then, the requisite "La, a note to follow so".

[-]

Melonqualia@reddit

Yep!

[-]

lifeatthebiglake@reddit

My mom used to say “sew buttons on a balloon.”

[-]

Designer_Ad_1416@reddit

on your underwear

[-]

mrblackc@reddit

Navi was there before, they just don't speak about it.

[-]

bennyballistic@reddit

I have no idea why or what it means but when I say “She” my mum says “Who? The cat’s mother?” A scolding to a child.

Although I’ve now googled it https://grammarphobia.com/blog/2011/04/cats-mother.html

[-]

Elly_Higgenbottom@reddit

So?

Sew buttons.

[-]

Scalytor@reddit

If you started a sentence with "well" around my dad he would respond with "That's too deep of a subject!". As if you were talking about a water well.

[-]

FoppyRETURNS@reddit

We went from flipping out over "Hey!" to yelling the F and C word at each other pretty quickly. 🙃

[-]

Sweet-Apricot8568@reddit

If I couldnt finish my plate..."ohhh...your eyes were bigger than your stomach, eh?"

If I DID finish everything on my plate..."OH my, you must have a hole in your toe"

Forgot veggies on my plate..."Don't forget the green beans, puts hair on your chest." My reaction would always make the uncles giggle because I was a girl and didn't want hair on my chest.

If I asked grandpa for the time..."Freckle past a hair..."

[-]

ken830@reddit

What are the weird sayings adults said to just have just died out?

Huh?

[-]

1337_Spartan@reddit

"Y's a crooked letter and you can't straighten it"

[-]

jpetersell@reddit

My husband and I do this to each other endlessly. Also the I’m hungry, hi hungry. He’s all like and chipper and I’m doing the death stare sand fox face.

[-]

Old_Association6332@reddit

My aunty had a whole alphabet thing for the "hay is for horses" thing. I never learned any of the others -I think "C" was "see for yourself"-, but "hay is for horses" was I think she used most commonly on my Dad when she was looking after him when she was young, and which he in turn used on us when we were growing up

[-]

Do_it_My_Way-79@reddit

Haven’t heard “hay is for horses” in decades? I say it all the time followed by “when the cows are away”

[-]

No-Transition8014@reddit

Hay is for horses, sheep, and cows. Straw is cheaper. Grass is free. Live on a farm get all three!

[-]

OhTheHueManatee@reddit

A lot of people don't know the difference between hay and straw. Farms animals, like horses, eat hay. Sea animals, like turtles, eat straws.

[-]

Melliorin@reddit

gif

[-]

Rycbrar123@reddit

Whenever my dad is asked to “Hold on” by anyone he usually starts getting a little keyed up and says, “Hold on? Hold to what? What am I holding on to?!” and I just 🙄

[-]

JoshKottlovski@reddit

My old man still says on occasion "Hay is for horses jackass, now what/what the fuck do you want?"

[-]

Educational-Bit-145@reddit

“‘She’ is the cats mother.” When you don’t use someone’s name and refer to them as ‘she’. Yeah, still bonkers even after the explanation

[-]

Polar_Version875@reddit

Sit and spin!

[-]

Reasonable-Wave8093@reddit

Is your fridge running? better go catch it!

[-]

patient_brilliance@reddit

"She" is the cat's mother.

Never really understood that one, but it was used if you referred to someone as she instead of their name.

Also, "a kid is a baby goat" before it became widely accepted as a term for children.

[-]

spazilator@reddit

Ha yes! “Who’s she? The cat’s mother?”

I still hear this in my head!

[-]

nvmls@reddit

The idea is that it's rude to not call a person in your presence by their name, that is acceptable only for animals. Like you're talking about someone, not with them. A bit of outdated manners.

[-]

nvmls@reddit

"Ain't ain't a word!" Spoiler: it is, since at least the 1800s.

[-]

fubo@reddit

"Prescriptive grammarians ain't real linguists!"

[-]

spazilator@reddit

“Hay is for horses, better for cows. Pigs would eat it but they don’t know how.”

I say this all the time, my son Hey’s me quite often.

[-]

Smokeythemagickamodo@reddit

Haha it was a good way to troll the older folk