ULPT Request: Neighbor plays loud Tuba music 8 hours a day
Posted by Internal_Set_6564@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 63 comments
He is typically quite inebriated, sitting in a blue tarp tent he has built in his back yard that he rents, and plays music so loud it can be heard though my walls. I have contacted his landlord repeatedly, but they are section 8 housing so he cannot evict them without a very complex process (Note: I 100% support affordable housing, this is not the issue. The issue is he is a drunk idiot). He has been asked to stop by me, told to stop by his landlord repeatedly, told to stop by the people who share the house in front of his (duplex, connected), and has received letters asking him to stop. He typically will stop right before 10pm, which is the hour the police will start to intervene.
He lives in a back yard unit with a surrounding fence, and has a posted no trespassing sign.
Any suggestions welcome.
toprymin@reddit
I totally read the title as “this drunk tuba player living in a tent has no regard for his neighbors”
Internal_Set_6564@reddit (OP)
My writing wins awards…for misdirection and lack of clarity, once again. Idiot drunk sits in his tent outside his actual house, and plays loud tuba and accordion music in his weird blue tent which is really just a tarp, or series of tarps.
BoredBSEE@reddit
Surströmming.
A buddy of mine had a "gross foods" party and that was the highlight of the evening. Surströmming. We opened the can and his wife gagged from about 30-40 yds away. It's that bad.
Buy a few cans, and whenever he starts up? Get as near to him in your backyard as you can, and open up a can.
Results guaranteed. Go watch a few youtube videos of people trying to cope with Surströmming and you'll see what I mean.
jtrns@reddit
Almost offended swede here. The youtube videos are of idiots that does not now how the enjoy this delicacy (yes, for real) the proper way. To each their own of course but to me, using a fish that is on the brink of being exterminated (Baltic herring) in private warfare is a waste. Im sure there are better ways to terrorize the neighbor to silence. /Surströmming-appriciator/funnier at parties then you think
BoredBSEE@reddit
No offense intended. 😊
BTW, we did our best at the party to do it justice. Watched videos of how to properly prepare it. Served it (hopefully correctly) with thin bread and butter and potatoes.
But it does remain a fact that the moment we popped the can open, my friends wife started gagging and she had to go inside. She was 30 or 40 yards away. Those first few moments are brutal!
I got a little of the juice on my sleeve of my jacket, and had to leave it outside in the rain for a week before the smell went away.
It wasn't too bad once you got into the vibe of it, but to honestly enjoy it? I salute you, good sir.
If you consider this a waste, perhaps OP would consider something more correctly designed for this effect. Deer lure or skunk extract should do it, I think.
https://mntrapline.com/products/whitetail-buck-urine?variant=48940103991575
https://www.predatorpeestore.com/skunk-um-jumbo.html
Tranquil_Dohrnii@reddit
Supposedly I heard youre supposed to open the can under water, and then drain the water to contain the smell. Ive never had it before though and i dont plan on it- theres not many foods I dont even want to try but surstromming, balut, and raw eggs are the top 3.
kraegm@reddit
There is a small pocket of air in the can. If you tilt it so the pocket is where you first pierce the can you don’t get the mist spray which carries the smell further. It still leaks out and travels, just not as quickly.
I currently have a can in my fridge to open sometime soon. It’s my second. 😀
sharkbait-oo-haha@reddit
What's the difference between using something to eat vs something to smell? It's not getting "wasted" it's just not being used in the intended method. It's still serving a use.
OP eat that stanky fish afterwards and go full ethical life pro tips circle.
realDespond@reddit
just crack one into his instrument when he's away lmao
bootscootbooty@reddit
Tuba music??
Internal_Set_6564@reddit (OP)
As a clarification, it is a recording of tuba based music. Sounds very rural or specific to a group of folks who may like accordion mixed with tuba music. I honestly have no idea what I would/should call it, but it involves tuba, accordion and very off key singers singing in an incomprehensible patois. I have zero problem with anyone listening to any music they like, my problem is playing it so loud the rest of us have to hear it.
bootscootbooty@reddit
Makes sense. I just thought you meant they were blasting like a single recording of only the tuba on repeat ad nauseum, and that struck me as really funny
Ok-Bit4971@reddit
Oom-pah-pah, or Banda ... your choice
backlikeclap@reddit
If he's using a Bluetooth speaker there are plenty of devices that kill Bluetooth in the area. You could always hide one in his yard.
You can also make it uncomfortable for him to be in his yard - throw birdseed in the yard from your balcony every night for example. If you have access to roadkill, throw a few dead animals in his yard.
Destroy his tarp - carefully cut the guylines holding it in place so only a thread or two of the original line is remaining
Dump a few vials of liquid ass in his yard.
Nuclear options:
Violating the"peaceful enjoyment" of other residents breaks section 8 rules and he can be kicked out for that. If you know his address it shouldn't be hard to report him.
Steal all of his mail and burn it. Hopefully one of the letters is an important form that he needs to sign to continue his Section 8 benefits.
Call emergency services if he's in the tarp and you don't see him moving around for an hour or so. "I think my neighbor is hurt, he's in a tent in his backyard and he's not responding to any of us. He is a heavy drinker and I'm worried he has passed out from alcohol poisoning." Continue doing this every day.
Sunfl0weryell0w@reddit
And don't waste emergency service's time. They're a finite, crucial resource meant for actual emergencies!
Apprehensive_Hat8986@reddit
Fire and ambulance, absolutely. Police?... ehn. Not so much.
Tranquil_Dohrnii@reddit
Riiiiiight, so maybe you can explain why the police take hours to show up for robberies, but a black man j walking is necessary for the whole squad to show up.
(Obviously im making up an example, but emergency services (especially police) largely waste time and cherry pick what they deem important.)
Dorsai56@reddit
Do *not* mess with his mail. Postal inspectors have the highest solve rate in law enforcement, and you're talking about federal laws. Those guys do not play.
Tranquil_Dohrnii@reddit
Seconded. You can absolutely be indicted by the postal inspector, and its automatically a federal crime.
All the other options are great.
Ok-Bit4971@reddit
And blowing a tuba
sm0lshit@reddit
Play something louder!
toprymin@reddit
I was thinking some other horn accompaniment might help smooth things over
i_fart_chemtrails@reddit
Get a recorder or something similarly shrill and "join in for a duet" every time he plays
vonhoother@reddit
Recorder, bah. Get a bombard. Or highland pipes.
Dorsai56@reddit
Bagpipes.
sm0lshit@reddit
Yes, yes, you are on the right track!
Edgar_Brown@reddit
Have you heard of parametric speakers? Essentially sound lasers that put sound wherever you want?
typical_mistakes@reddit
I've seen a military LRAD on auction sites for a few hundred.
Is he in your building? I'd love to see what would happen if you drained your toilet, then blasted the bowl at the resonant frequency of the main plumbing stack. Though I'd probably laugh myself right to death if I saw toilet mist covering the inside of all of his windows.
Edgar_Brown@reddit
Flush a monster firecracker and use the plunger to stop the backflow?
itmightbez@reddit
This guy is unethical, you can tell. Listen to him.
brooklynbob7@reddit
Blast Dean Martin acts as Tony Soprano did to the doctor that did not get his deposit back .
Fragrant-Hand6549@reddit
sbguy17@reddit
Help him find a band..
Internal_Set_6564@reddit (OP)
Not live music. This is a recording.
sociologicalillusion@reddit
This is genius! Though not unethical, so maybe wrong sub. But I love it.
QueenRagga@reddit
Perhaps the tuba happens to go missing.
Internal_Set_6564@reddit (OP)
Not live music.
discoduck007@reddit
We had a trumpeter when I was growing up. That kid sure got up early.
Internal_Set_6564@reddit (OP)
This is not live music.
DaddyDoLittle@reddit
Kill the power.
realDespond@reddit
what's that going to do to piss off a man in a tent playing an analog instrument for hours on end?
DaddyDoLittle@reddit
I interpreted that as he's playing recorded tuba music.. I figure if the dude was playing the instrument itself OP might have said "he's playing the tuba" but it's kinda vague
Internal_Set_6564@reddit (OP)
Correct.
realDespond@reddit
ok that makes a lot more sense lmao
Internal_Set_6564@reddit (OP)
It’s a recording.
realDespond@reddit
if he ever leaves the thing out crack some eggs in it and cover the mouthpiece with that asian chili stuff
Internal_Set_6564@reddit (OP)
As a clarification, it is a recording of tuba based music. Sounds very rural or specific to a group of folks who may like accordion mixed with tuba music. I honestly have no idea what I would/should call it, but it involves tuba, accordion and very off key singers singing in an incomprehensible patois. I have zero problem with anyone listening to any music they like, my problem is playing it so loud the rest of us have to hear it.
Bratchan@reddit
Be a shame if someone sprayed fox piss on the tent where they play.
missdank420247@reddit
Look up and try a mosquito/anti-loitering track on YouTube. They use it at my local trampoline park at closing time to get people moving and it works.
mister-ferguson@reddit
An alcoholic tuba player on Section 8 likely doesn't have his higher register hearing.
ww11gunny@reddit
Hack into his computer and download a lot of illegal videos and pictures and wait for justice system to work
Fluffychipmonk1@reddit
Op wants him to stop being a drunk idiot, not become president or some higher seat in politics
NaitiveTexan1270@reddit
Pantera. Loud AF. On repeat. Cowboys From Hell is a favorite.
RuggedHangnail@reddit
And if this doesn't work, switch to a genre of music called Chinese Opera.
R-Narfen@reddit
Contact HUD. The fear of losing his voucher should do it.
abridged_4@reddit
Ultra sonic speakers are cool
PARANOIAH@reddit
Play annoying songs like baby shark or catchy songs with the best parts edited out badly and blast it in their direction.
amazonchic2@reddit
Spray Liquid Ass by his tent.
More_Bigger@reddit
Play some Hector Lavoe for him to play along with.
chickyloo42by10@reddit
Back when the cookers decided to camp out on the NZ parliament lawns in protest of Covid vaccines, they started playing Celine Dion’s “my heart will go on” real loud on repeat to try and make people move on. They had to stop because it was declared as a form of torture.
Mr_Gaslight@reddit
Fill it with expanding insulation foam.
michigan2345@reddit
Start reporting violations to the city. Garbage, debris, seeing rats. Read the city code and get an anonymous email and send complaints. The property owner gets the tickets. Soon the hassle will be too much. Is it even zoned to have that many renters? Fire hazard?
bionicallyironic@reddit
Maybe you also like tuba music now. Maybe you like this piece in particular. Maybe you take a day to watch him and play it loudly whenever he gets up and moves around. Maybe, if this is a very sedentary drunk idiot, you just play it every hour, on the hour, pointed in his direction.