Has anyone unlocked the skill to help their parents long distance with tech?
Posted by Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 35 comments
I swear to all things holy, I can’t even count as high as the number of times I’ve had to help my mother with her Hulu account. Her iPhone. Her tablet. Her complete disbelief that her wifi router is not controlled by her cell signal, etc.
I live across the country. My sibling local to her is not helpful with this. In fact, I often have to help her, too.
Back in the early aughts, I put software on my mom’s desktop so I could take over remotely, but she only uses an iPad and iPhone now.
I want to be happy to help her, but she’s always a single frustration away from quitting, or just mashing things, and it gets so incredibly difficult, and we spend so much time on the same things, over and over and over again.
How are you helping your parents?
roastbill@reddit
I've developed the skill of my dad not understanding and then screaming at me and hanging up.
CalgaryChris77@reddit
Older people seem to just reach a point where they can’t learn the slightest change in technology, we can’t update my father in laws iPhone 8 despite the fact the battery constantly dies because he’d be lost without the button on the bottom.
LH99@reddit
Ugh. The struggle is so real.
They have a laptop and I thought we could just log into a facetime meeting through gmail so I could see what they're having trouble with (which can be any number of things).
When they can't spot a chat popup to initiate the meeting there's not much I can do. So much time spent having them read everything on the screen until they spot what I'm trying to tell them to find.
I set them up with a password manager as well because Mom avoids logging into stuff until she has to. So then she forgets her password. So about four times a year we did the password reset rituals. This manager has a plugin so "all you have to do is open Chrome, go to your bank site, and hit CTRL+Shift+L (written on a sticky note inside laptop) and it will fill in your info. You just have to remember ONE password for the extension. She forgets about the one password.
What's worse: she refuses to use her phone . . . which has an app that would immediately take her to her bank info. Nope. Doesn't trust that. FML.
They accidentally rent stuff to watch on Amazon all the time. They were listening to Amazon music which kept signing me up for that BS music service. Took awhile for me to figure out what was happening.
Every week during football season I get a call asking what channel or app the game is on. Thanks NFL.
elphaba00@reddit
When my mother-in-law lived closer, my husband would walk into the house, and without saying a word, she would hand him her phone every time. Something would always be messed up. I theorized that she was just hitting random buttons and settings. Ironically, the family decided to get her an iPhone with minimal apps because they thought it would be something she could handle.
Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit (OP)
Yes. Yes yes yes to all of this. We are living the same frustrations!
North_Signature9297@reddit
It's a nightmare.
2bop2pie@reddit
I joke but it’s not a joke: I am Senior Help Desk to my parents, 91 and 86. I have RemotePC on my dads laptop and mom’s Wow desktop has TechBuddy access. She pays $20 a month for unlimited calls to their help desk and it’s worth every penny.
I was doing well until last month when we realized Dad was trying to change the channel on his Comcast cable box with his cordless phone. 😔
bitwarrior80@reddit
I convinced my dad to remove his McAfee subscription. He's been paying them for years and has no idea why, or what it does. Just log on to your account, turn off automaic renew, cancel the sub, uninstall, run windows update. It's crazy how many boomers got suckered by that company.
poneiras@reddit
It's really disgraceful that John McAfee has been dead for five years, and yet his name is still on that product (which he loathed). Intel said they would change it over a decade ago.
Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit (OP)
Thank you everyone! Good laughs, good tips, and good perspective! I’m going to eat a little humble pie at not knowing some of these ways to help existed… gotta be better at tech before complaining about tech!
Let_things_go@reddit
If you both have iOS 18 or newer, you can do this https://support.apple.com/guide/iphone/request-give-remote-control-a-facetime-call-iph5d70f34a3/ios
Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit (OP)
Thanks for this!!!
New_me_310@reddit
I ask them to text me a screenshot of what’s happening. Or we FaceTime on a different device so they can show me. When all else fails I say “I think you have to take it to the Genius Bar” and she makes a res like it’s the cardiologist.
Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit (OP)
OMG I snorted at the cardiologist. Thank you!
Exciting-Argument-67@reddit
Okay, but your local sibling may be helpful in innumerable ways you'll never even know about. (Unless she's truly completely hands off.) If you can help that sibling by being the tech guru from afar, please continue doing so. I'm sure your sister appreciates it.
Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit (OP)
Oh no. She goes over for holidays and birthdays, stuff like that. The neighbors are the heroes, helping with all the stuff you’re probably thinking about!
anonmygoodsir@reddit
They don't ask much because I have established myself as not much of a tech person. Its easier that way but I can't even help them when I am in the same room. I swear they are frustrating so its easier to just do it for them.
jackfaire@reddit
Lol if it's an app I also use I can at least be looking at the screens they're looking at which helps.
I envy the people in the future that will be helping their parents with teleporters they'll be able to teleport there to help.
Weird_Squirrel_8382@reddit
If they get teleporters I'm putting my mom in a Faraday cage. Ain't no damn way I'm gonna be retrieving that lady from Marrakech and she meant to go see cousin Mary.
Nephite11@reddit
Screen sharing and FaceTime have both been useful for me to help my mother when she calls with tech support questions. My father has always been prideful in his intelligence level and tries to do things on his own. He’s now finally asking me questions. All it took is a degree in Information Technology and waiting 20 years 🤣
singleguy79@reddit
Hell, I live a short distance from them and I can barely help...particularly with my stepdad as it doesn't click for him.
Appropriate-Diver301@reddit
My parents seem to overcomplicate things and keep asking me to help fix it.
Too many rokus and apple TVs and they all interfere with each other. Way too many remotes for one tv, and then the other tv just a wall away uses the same ones, so they interfere with each other. It is a headache.
I fixed it all up last May, but they somehow messed it up and I couldn't figure it out on Xmas day when I went up again. Going down today and they want their printer fixed and the tv worked on again. Ugh.
Three_Spotted_Apples@reddit
I’ve learned how to use screen sharing and video calls on any device. Apple lets you screen share on phones and iPads which has been a lifesaver. I also have a button on the desktop of their computers that says “get help from me”. It’s a link to chrome Remote Desktop :)
New_me_310@reddit
I use zoom remote control with my dad all the time, he thinks it’s magic every time.
My favorite was when he kept printing a document and it kept printing tiny. We found the (other) zoom settings together and I was like “remember the percentage buttons on a copy machine? This is like that. You want to keep it at 100%” It had been at 70% and he had no idea how that happened 🤷♀️
bcentsale@reddit
I worked my first few years at my current job answering phones at our help desk. We've since moved to exclusively managed services, but in 2011 we still provided email and dialup internet, so lots of people out in the broadband-less sticks, before the prevalence of smartphones, and some still using Windows 9x to boot.
FoppyRETURNS@reddit
I actually caught a lucky break. My father is good with tech. My mother on the other hand has a ten year relationship with an IT Manager. And my wife handles the tech at home. 💀
Negative-Wrap95@reddit
My parents' tech interactions were minimal I was surprised when they got a DVD player and a flat panel TV.
Thankfully, I never really had to explain a lot.
I'd imagine it would involve a lot of screenshots with arrows and very direct text instructions sent via snail mail. No options, no customization or optimization. Just click this, do this, do that, done.
Spartan04@reddit
Yes, buy I also live only about 20 minutes away from my mom so if she needs help with something and I can't talk her through it over the phone she's usually fine with waiting and then I'll stop by in the next few days.
I'm used to it since I've been a computer geek pretty much all of my life so being the tech support for my mom is nothing new. On the plus side though she is pretty tech literate for someone her age so if she needs help it's either easy enough to talk her through since she can follow my directions or it's something that requires in person help anyway.
realauthormattjanak@reddit
Use the old military acronym: Keep It Simple Stupid, or K.I.S.S. She has too many options. Condense what she needs into a single, large font sheet of paper. Tell her the paper is your surrogate. Like saying "you're only to go down these specific aisles in the grocery store". Yes it's got millions of products, but you limit which aisles she goes down, how to act when lost down the wrong aisle, she'll be happier. I promise you it's overwhelming to her.
Massive-Ride204@reddit
Honestly what's with this generation and not even trying to learn basic tech
Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit (OP)
My Mom’s a boomer… you mean that generation? And my sister is solidly Gen X.
sok283@reddit
"Have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?"
Healthy-Neat-2989@reddit (OP)
I’m laughing but there was a day during a windstorm where she told me the wifi was out because of the wind. I asked her to turn the router off and on. She insisted that wasn’t it. The whole neighborhood was out, she swore. Later she told me they fixed it. How did they fix it? They reset it by having her turn it off at the router and back on. 🤦♀️
Resident_Lion_@reddit
i hit ignore and laugh
rearwindowpup@reddit
I got them a Meraki Z3 I use to remotely managed and troubleshoot their network (as well as block problematic stuff) so I could stop telling them to call their ISP. It also lets me troubleshoot individual device issues. I put AnyViewer on their laptop so I can remote in and fix other stuff.