Reverse culture shock moving back home
Posted by upearlytoday23@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 10 comments
I’m moving back home soon (US specifically) after 3 years in Germany.
For those who moved back home, what helps with the reverse culture shock?
Doesn’t have to be US specific but I’m trying to be aware things won’t be the same and to keep an open mind eg. I‘m aware friends’ lives have moved on but trying to take it in stride. I’ve only visited 1x per year the last 3 years and especially the last visit feeling things are familiar but also alien at the same time.
ClockSpiritual6596@reddit
Why?
expatforward@reddit
What helps is let yourself to feel weird about things without forcing it to make sense. As you already seem to be aware, you've changed, the place has changed in small ways, and trying to logic your way through that disconnect usually just makes it more frustrating. Building new routines helps more than trying to slot back into old ones. Even if people and places are welcoming, you're different now..
Sorry_Product_3637@reddit
The thing nobody warned me about was how annoying everyday stuff becomes. After living in Germany you're used to things just working a certain way — public transit, healthcare, bureaucracy that's painful but at least has a process. Coming back to the US and dealing with like... calling your insurance company for 45 minutes, or needing a car to go literally anywhere, or tipping culture — it all feels so inefficient and you can't even complain about it without sounding pretentious.
What helped me was giving myself permission to be annoyed without guilt. Like its ok to miss the way things were done elsewhere, that doesn't make you ungrateful for being home.
Also don't expect anyone to care about your time abroad as much as you do. People will ask "how was Germany" and want like a 30 second answer, not your life story. Took me a while to stop being that guy lol.
The good news is it does get better after a few months. You kind of find a new normal.
appropriateye@reddit
Did this exact move. Was what have I done for almost a year. No advice but appreciated the benefits of the us and my state over time. Ended up moving back to Europe in the end (not Germany). Mostly likely will stay forever.
MisfitDRG@reddit
Where did you end up and why did you choose there over Germany?
NotASpyJustExpat@reddit
I think it just takes time honestly, feels weird at first but then you get used to it again
North_Artichoke_6721@reddit
For me it was the pop culture I had missed, how people quoted lines from shows, movies, and songs that I had never heard of. People would talk about going to a concert or a show and I had no clue who those people were.
Puzzleheaded_Card901@reddit
Moved back from Germany in 2020, still haven't gotten used to it. Just focusing on the little things, such as not having to deal with all the paperwork in another language has helped.
Happy-Hour88@reddit
I get you. I moved back to my country in 2018 after 4 years of living abroad and I can't shake off my reverse culture shock. The foreign country I left to come back isn't the same it was back then either so I feel in limbo.
Trvlng_Drew@reddit
Moved back to US after being gone over 20 years. Yes, I’d been back mostly annually but for short periods. It’s no where near what it was when I left, it was moving back to a new country. Take your move to be similar to the move to Germany, tons of cultural changes, cost changes, process changes.