A P-plate (1975) Austin Maxi 1500 in baby-shit brown:

(Not my car, mine was about 60% rust...)

It burnt approximately a pint of oil per tank of petrol and did about 20mpg.

Gearbox worn so badly I had to learn how to double-declutch to change down gears. Or coast to a stop in neutral then madly jam the fucking thing into what I hoped was first gear.

The window washer was a button in the dash that you had to pump to get a trickle of water to come out.

The radio only picked up MW and LW.

The seats were pleather. Fucking freezing in the winter and would burn your legs in the summer.

No power steering, no electric windows, it barely had seatbelts.

Famously high quality Lucas electrics.

Brakes were interesting. They worked but sometimes they'd just refuse to release again for 30 minutes or so. I had the entire brake system swapped and it still kept doing it. I'm pretty sure it was haunted.

Could mange 80mph if you were feeling suicidal.

Things would randomly fall off. I lost: The spare wheel, the rear bumper, 3 of 4 lug nuts on one of the front wheels, a wing mirror and on one particularly memorable night-time drive down the A1, all the lights stopped working.

While the front and back seats folded down flush, making a double bed (if you ignored 2-foot-long gear stick), finding someone of the opposite sex to share it with me was difficult because I was driving a baby-shit brown Austin Maxi.