How many children of multiple divorces are in 20+ year relationships and amazed it can actually last this long?

Posted by ManicOppressyv@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 33 comments

First, congratulations. My wife and I just had our second 26th wedding anniversary (we were married twice, the "insurance marriage" in February 2000 on my lunch break at the courthouse after an ultrasound and then the actual ceremony April 3, 2000 with people in attendance). My mom and dad have been married four times each (including to each other twice, like 30 years apart). Both are currently married.

I honestly thought it would be harder to make work. Not that there haven't been close calls (my WoW addiction through most of the late 00's and 2010's was harrowing), but we've made it. How have you guys fared?

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125acres@reddit

Getting ready to celebrate our 24th anniversary and have 3 kids.

My dad was married 3 times. Mom remarried an asshole, that I had to put up with.

We about got divorced a couple of times. I know the reason we are still together is because of my of my experiences as divorced kid. My childhood was really shitty.

We have put in a lot of work to stay married.

All my childhood friends are from divorced families and we are all still married.

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DrShankensteinMD@reddit

Been with my wife for 24 years and 22 married. Both of came from divorced parents, that lasted only a few years each

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Spirited-Cat-8942@reddit

My parents have been married for 55 years. One of us is never married, I am divorced, and the third is married for 25 years. It’s wild how these things work out.

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ThatHellacopterGuy@reddit

Mom is on marriage #3; so is Dad.

Wife and I got married in ‘93, and we’re still happy and strong together.

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MNConcerto@reddit

My mom died a few months before their 50th.

My husband came from divorced parents and an alcoholic father.

We are just about ready to celebrate our 36th.

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ofthrees@reddit

virtually no one in my family had long marriages.

mom - 16 years [longest in my family], then 10 (and the second one should've ended eight years before it did)

sister - 8 years, then 5, then a succession of long term live-ins

aunts and uncles - most were on their second marriages by the time i was old enough to remember them; several hit three or four

even my grandma was on her second marriage by the time i was born, though in fairness, she had been widowed.

etc. etc.

but, by the time i met my husband, his parents were celebrating their 25th-ish (just celebrated 55). my husband and i were married 18 years and together for 24 when he died. we'd have just celebrated our 21st if he had lived. most of my friends have been married for between 15-26. only one has been married more than once (she's on number three).

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TurboLicious1855@reddit

My parents were divorced when I was 14 days old. Mom had 5 husbands and 1 kid with each.

Been with my guy since 92 and married in 98. I never thought I would get married, never thought I would have a kid or own a home. Have all this and still get giddy talking about my guy.

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Real-Emu507@reddit

Nope. My parents have been married since they were teenagers. And me 22 plus years.

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Pristine-Shine6365@reddit

My parents divorced when I was 13. My wife’s when she was 16. We have been together for 26, married for 20. My parents were just plain mean to each other. Mom had kids young, kinda was a shotgun wedding. We focus on good communication and trying to be kind to each other. Seems to be working good so far.

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r7ndom@reddit

Parents were both divorced multiple times. It is a little shocking, but I think seeing their divorces made me ultra cautious about getting married in the first place.

I didn't get married until my mid-30's and although it isn't perfect, the joke between us now is that we couldn't afford to get divorced, so if one of us decided we were truly done, they would have to kill the other one off.

In all seriousness, my life isn't exciting fireworks all the time, but my relationship is super solid and we are working toward retirement together, so things are good. It really helps that both of us see cheating or getting into another relationship as exhausting 😂. I am past wanting any unnecessary drama in my life.

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makeup1508@reddit

My husband & I have been married for over 30 years. My mom and dad got married when she was 16, he was 19. Waayy too young. Managed to stay married for 13 years. Then my mom remarried about a year later to a true narcissist. I'm not speculating. He checks every box I've ever seen. That marriage lasted about 2 years. Then my mom met and married my current stepdad who is a wonderful man and they have been happily married for over 40years.

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AnyaSatana@reddit

Not me, I'm very single, but my parents were married for 54 years till losing my Dad. My mother grew up in a single parent family (they used to call them 'broken homes' back then) when her Dad left when she was 7. Because she grew up like that she was very determined that we would never have to go through that. Luckily my Dad adored her.

We're pretty sure my grandfather leaving was a very good thing. He was a thief, and knocked out my grandma's teeth one time. We only found out about the latter about a year ago. We have strong women in our family.

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possums_luv_cereal@reddit

My husband and I were high school sweethearts. My mother was briefly married before she married my dad. They stayed married until his death, 30+ years. I loved my parents, but their marriage taught me a LOT of what I did not want for myself, my kids, and what I would not put up with. Husband’s parents were married about 2 years. FIL married twice more. MIL never remarried, but had numerous long term relationships. We will be married 30 years this year. I think both of us growing up seeing things we didn’t want in marriage, and knowing what we did want, really helped us set expectations and respect each other.

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DealNo3840@reddit

Me! My parents only lasted 18 years and I’ve been married for 30 years

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Taodragons@reddit

32 years in January. She was 18, I was 19. Not always sunshine and roses, but it was always a priority to make it work. Multiple divorces on both sides, but my mother in law is probably the reigning champion at 10.

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Square-Wave5308@reddit

Happy for everyone who is happy and authentic to themselves! One snippet from the flip side, those of us who grew up in families where people generally stayed married.

We married after college. Our parents were all married until the ends of their lives, even our siblings in-laws were never divorced. Only one couple out of the four elders were church attending.

We had learned stick to it, and not healthy communication through challenges. We coped. He didn't put out for decades; I was untouched. He didn't say anything that would get him in trouble with an HR department; I was unappreciated. Realizing I would rather be alone was the tipping point.

I'm now in a 2nd marriage and we're appreciating the ability to learn to do better at a time in our lives where stresses are far less immediate.

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Conscious-Bar-1655@reddit

☝️☝️☝️

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Queasy-Extension6465@reddit

Married 36+ years, my wife's dad was married 3 times and both her siblings are divorced with one currently in a second marriage.

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Dear_Treat2592@reddit

I was and really thought I had a great marriage. Then I found out he was cheating. It turned out that he was just like my dad, it just took me 20+ years (and some therapy) to see it.

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whistiling@reddit

The divorce of my parents and impact on me made me realize I wasn’t going to go into my marriage half way. Once I got married I knew i was in it for life unlike my parents

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Suspicious_Time7239@reddit

I've been married 26.5 years and separated for 13.5 of those. Crazy, right? fml

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copperfrog42@reddit

My husband and I have been married 25 years(I think), and my mom has been married and divorced twice. My dad was a lifelong bachelor after the divorce, my former stepdad turned out to be a cheater, and did the divorce one wife and marry the mistress several times. My mother in law was also married and divorced a few times.

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CityCabCat@reddit

lol, I’m in the opposite scenario. My boomer parents are still together over 52 years and here I am single AF and I don’t see that changing.

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desertkayaker@reddit

His parents were married for 50 years. I have a nice collection of stepmothers, stepfathers, and stepsiblings. Both of us were married/divorced 2 or 3 😁 times when we met. We both decided we gave it our best shot and would never marry again. We shacked up in 1994 and just purchased our rocking chairs for the front porch.

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ImMxWorld@reddit

I should hope mother and baby are doing well if your baby is 25 and the mother is still your loving wife! 🤣

Congratulations! My parents were only married once, but my dad was a serial dating menace (the dude was on dating apps when he was in the hospital dying). I'm pretty proud of the 22 years my partner and I have made it work.

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jmsgaz@reddit

40 years next January. Both of our parents got divorced (total of more than 10 marriages among them all). We were just stubborn, I guess. Certainly had our up’s and downs but decided to work through the tough times rather than just moving on.

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VolupVeVa@reddit

hey we also had two weddings several months apart. our second 29th anniversary just passed.

my mom was "married" three times (two were common law) and divorced three times. the last one ended almost 25 years ago now. she's been single ever since.

i was determined to not follow that path. so far so good.

my spouse's parents have been married for just over 60 years, and seemed happy enough.

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