How to cope with pilot dream gone
Posted by LifeMycologist897@reddit | aviation | View on Reddit | 66 comments
For those who had couldn’t get or got one and couldn’t hold a medical, how did you cope with the pilot dream not working out?
Valspared1@reddit
Class 1 or Class 3 medical?
LifeMycologist897@reddit (OP)
Do you know if I could say get a class 2 or 3 medical, get a private pilot’s license, get a high turbine endorsement and fly the Cessna 208 caravan? Or fly it for cargo?
Valspared1@reddit
You would need a class 1 or 2 to get a commercial license. You need a commercial license to be hired to fly for someone, fly cargo, charge for a fight, (paid to fly), etc.
Do you see the issue?
LifeMycologist897@reddit (OP)
Class 1, I never attempted to get 2 or 3, but my class 1 medical got deferred by an AME. And this was before an autism, depression, and anxiety diagnosis. I would be scared to attempt to do it again with what I have now.
Valspared1@reddit
Flying for a career is over unfortunately.
You may be able to get a class 3 and fly for fun.
If not, maybe you can do Avn Simulation as a career, operator or technician.
If not, like the others have stated, home simulator rigs and software like DCS may work for you. Or radio control aircraft.
MasterpieceActive374@reddit
I'm sorry for what I'm about to say may ruin your life and eat a lot of your free time but...
Have you considered making your own drones and flying them SUPER FKING FAST? you can still pilot a drone, get FPV view, it's like all the pros of flying minus the risks, also, it hits better when you built it yourself.
This hobby can become very expensive the more you crash your drone, but it's loads of fun
LifeMycologist897@reddit (OP)
I’m actually gonna get my FAA drone license.
javiator15@reddit
Vulnerable post* Biggest heartbreak of my life, tbh. I just knew it was my destiny to be a military pilot then a test pilot and eventually an astronaut, but it never worked out after multiple tries. I also had to drop out of civilian flight school due to money issues while I watched other youth train in their own planes their parents bought them, and others I trained for my PPL with go on to become military and airline pilots. Now I work with military pilots and test pilots, and it honestly reminds me everyday of my failures. I have feelings of jealousy at times but I choose to be an adult about it and do my job helping these pilots do theirs.
Tried different things like eveyone says to do…joined flying clubs, pursued college degrees and research related to space and astronomy, became an amateur astronomer, considered Dispatch and ATC, worked in flight test to try and get into test pilot school that way and become a back seater on military jets (highly competitive and didn’t work out), etc…No matter what it’s just not the same as being in that left seat in the cockpit or dreaming of commanding a space shuttle. Nothing in life beats it. Absolutely nothing.
I’ve gotten used to the heartache. I enjoy space movies. I race cars for thrill, collect telescopes, work professionally with test pilots and engineers who appreciate my flying background, still fly on occasion. Still have a 3rd class medical. Still happy to look at my PPL and know it never expires, and that I earned it (even if I can’t afford to pay for any further ratings). But I hardly even consider myself a pilot anymore. I’ve experienced too much heartache and rejection in this field but I don’t blame anyone but myself. I still love aviation, though and am proud of my resume at this point. Shit hurts but life goes on.
nickglovin28@reddit
Man I am sorry to hear about your story, but your post shows a crazy amount of resilience and human spirit in following one’s dreams. Honestly I would love to go flying with you just to hear more about your life’s journey.
javiator15@reddit
Thanks for this. Much appreciated.
FlyFastEatAss954@reddit
I wanted more than anything to fly fighters, didn't work out for me. For years I beat myself up over it. Took me a while to pull myself out of the rut. My biggest advice is find something else to give your life meaning. A hobby, passion, career, etc. Try new things and you'll find something that brings you happiness.
LifeMycologist897@reddit (OP)
I’ve just been sitting, sulking, beating myself up for medical conditions I have no control over, I’m slowing getting out of the rut.
surSEXECEN@reddit
I grew up in a family of 25,000 pilots who were chief pilots on 767s and 747s when they were new aircraft. Nearing the end of their careers, they no longer wanted to travel. They spent the end of their lives playing golf, and watching sports. They never flew for fun.
The people I know that enjoy flying the most are the people who didn’t fly as a career, but made it a hobby later in life.
I wanted to be a fighter pilot my whole life. I chose a different path, and 25 years later, it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
I_Served@reddit
Same here. Couldn’t pass the color vision exam.
Substantial_Brain917@reddit
I built the biggest baddest flight sim I could. I have been using it to play Nuclear Option
kaleid5@reddit
Time heals all wounds
omykronbr@reddit
It doesn't. It numbs you.
Not being able to live the dream you had is a grief similar to losing someone closer to you. Seek therapy. It will help. You don't have to worry about medical anymore. Go on and treat your wounds. You are not alone in this process.
Lost my ability to hold medical due to insomnia. You can always have a hobby with aviation.
Go and process your grief my friend. It's not easy. It will never go away. But you will need to learn how to move forward without resorting to drinking. You're no longer a pylote.
Jussgoawaiplzkthxbai@reddit
Time wounds all heels
stormdraggy@reddit
My ankles are broken!
7Seyo7@reddit
Or at least gives you the tools to process them
Professional_Bad3503@reddit
Get as far away from aviation as possible, see it as removing all the stuff that belonged to your ex … you don’t need it in your life. I was fully graduated, frozen ATPL, CPL, etc …. 150k debt. Could not find a job as a pilot between 2012-2016, stopped looking. I moved to an area not directly under an airway or near an airport, that helps. I have a family now, which was me other dream.
Inspector9987@reddit
I love flying but I am grounded, so I build and fly giant scale radio control airplanes. Plenty fun and made a lot of great friends doing this.
LifeMycologist897@reddit (OP)
I’m trying to stay around the aviation realm and I want my career around planes in some capacity. Customer service, flight attendant, operations, dispatch, anything.
ObjectiveRealistic81@reddit
Go to a&p school
PainfullDarkness@reddit
Flying loadmaster on cargo aircrafts. Some carriers have them.
LifeMycologist897@reddit (OP)
Oh nice, I did not know that.
Inspector9987@reddit
Go get a job at the airport chasing the passion (I would have at one time but can no longer commit every day) but try RC giant scale. The theory and rules of successful flight are the same. It can be challenging and rewarding depending on the circumstances and weather.
I_Served@reddit
The medical exam for private pilot is a lot less stringent than for commercial. If you can pass that you can still fly for fun.
Maico1979@reddit
Buy an experimental airplane and fly whenever you feel like it. ;-)
Ok-Lawfulness3305@reddit
Im terrible with maths. I went solo at 16 but I couldn't calculate fuel over distance for my PPL. I worked in hospitality all my adult life and now im working as a steward on offshore construction ships making more than pilots on 210k. I take planes and helicopters to work.
i_am_buzz_lightyear@reddit
Can you dm me how you get into this?
Conscious_Raisin_436@reddit
Buy a top-of-the-line flight sim setup!
pessimus_even@reddit
There are other areas of aviation. Mechanic, dispatch, flight attendant, engineering, ramp work. Depending on why you wanted to fly that can help you decide which path to take if you wanted to stay in aviation
ResponsibilityOld164@reddit
Praying I keep my medical. Worried about it right now.
Flat_Promotion1267@reddit
Consider skipping it and falling back to Sport privileges, assuming you just do it for fun. Career? Well, eat your vegetables and best of luck I guess.
ResponsibilityOld164@reddit
Career. I will be ok just gonna have to jump through the hoops. Already have had the medical but got a letter asking questions
LifeMycologist897@reddit (OP)
I hope everything goes okay for you.
ResponsibilityOld164@reddit
Thank you.
Cagliari77@reddit
It's shouldn't be any different than not being able to do the profession you initially dreamed for.
For instance I wanted to study medicine and become a doctor but I couldn't get in any medical school for university.
I studied engineering instead and became one.
So what? You don't always get what you dream for in life. You should have alternatives.
mermaidpaint@reddit
It was a dream of mine in junior high. I realized I was far too short to make it come true. It was really an escape fantasy.
LongBeachHXC@reddit
I am so grateful I came to this realization early on in my flight training.
Was training to be a professional pilot but dropped out after my first year and earning my PPL.
The two main causes to my drop out, price of the training and the fact that the aviation doctor could ground you for medical reasons.
Of course no one plans to get sick but things happen.
I was okay with the decision and shifted towards IT. Try and find something else you really enjoy.
Flexgainzter@reddit
I’m diagnosed bipolar so obviously am not fit to fly passengers I think I’m gonna pick up the new Microsoft simulator for ps5 to cope
flynryan692@reddit
Dispatch. Closest thing to being a pilot when you can't be a pilot. Shared responsibility with the PIC and the jumpseat privileges allow me into the cockpit (required once a year, but you can non-rev up there too, just don't be weird).
LifeMycologist897@reddit (OP)
My brain is really good with attention to detail, I notice the most tiniest of things.
TheTangoFox@reddit
Sounds like Ops is for you
gavinbcross@reddit
For me personally, when I wasn’t able to continue with my pilots education, I became a aircraft ground handler instead and I’m loving it. I’m still involved with the aviation industry, I get to work with planes every day and experience lots of cool stuff, and I get to see my classmates who are now graduated pilots all the time now when I handle there aircraft.
pinkfluyd@reddit
Fpv flying is pretty awesome 😎
setecastronomy01@reddit
So, OP, I read a post that says it can’t be your job to fly in a sim, that’s technically not true. Many airlines use people who can’t hold a medical to actually conduct sim training. Now since you’ve never flown professionally, I’m not sure where you could start but you could also look into aviation maintenance or simulator technician and they do test runs on sims all the time. Just a thought. Keep your head up.
Tomcat286@reddit
Changed to glider flying and continued working in aviation on the ground
Ready-Asparagus-1101@reddit
Finally a real post. Fly gliders if you can? If not time will heal buth you also need a new target. Do sports, talk to people, get off social media....
T33-L@reddit
I had a quick scroll through your posting history, it’s pretty gross so I didn’t go too far back, but the one relevant thing was a post saying you wanted to do something within aviation.
That post was 2 months ago.
Now if that’s accurate, it seems like this is hardly a lifelong dream for you, so I’m sure you’ll get over it before long.
But take it from someone in late 30s with a life filled with failures and regrets when it comes to ‘dream job’, shit happens, you moan about it for a bit, and then you find something to fill the void because you have no choice.
Ok-Lawfulness3305@reddit
Depending on how far you've gotten with your flying. My brother flew for the police air wing.
Killentyme55@reddit
As a kid all I wanted to be when I grew up was a pilot. I didn't care what kind of plane, I just loved aviation and couldn't wait to fly. Then I got an eye exam prior to getting my driver's license and found out I was colorblind. I thought surely there must be some sort of waiver or exception, but nope...my dream was shattered.
I felt really sorry for myself and even today as an old(er) man it still stings at times, but I did stay in the field and worked as an A&P for nearly 40 years. Turns out that was my strength so maybe it was for the best, but I still want to get in the pointy end some day.
red-panda-rising@reddit
Can be absolutely heartbreaking and that feeling is something I still think about 10ish years on. I initially tried to stay away from aviation but I missed reading/ learning about it too much and came back.
I got into aviation photography as a way to enjoy it and still be a part of it. Sounds like many others find their own hobby or way to stay close to it too.
LifeMycologist897@reddit (OP)
My enjoyment has been flight simming, it fills my brain with such joy.
Masterblaster8180@reddit
That’s honestly the same thing I did. I wanted to fly for 20 years, finally got the opportunity and couldn’t get medical so I just keep on flying whatever I want on flight sim and keep reminding myself that the sim is much cheaper.
GroundedGerbil@reddit
Still devastated from it. I overcame a ton to become a pilot, and was only a professional for 7 years. My good friends are at all the majors/legacies or lifers and happy at my old regional. I have a good job and make a comfortable 6 figure income, but it’s not the same. I hope when i start flying gliders it will cure the itch.
Eastern-Emotion9685@reddit
Oh man. It just flow away in the river of Life. However some sediments remain as regret.
FlyHornets@reddit
It’s a ruthless system. Rule of thumb is to never tell doctors anything and always remain visibly perfect at all times.
RdtRanger6969@reddit
The shattering part is how many license holders out there can’t pass a medical but have Dr buddies sign off for them.
FlyHornets@reddit
Still fighting for my medical. Make them tell you no. And then keep trying when they do.
Positive-Hat2127@reddit
If it's something you can't control, you gotta move on. There's other things to do directly related to aviation, and you can get pretty darn realistic in a home simulator these days. It can't be your job to fly in a sim, but you can still have fun and enjoy it.
See if you would enjoy working on the maintenance or engineering side of things, perhaps dispatch etc. Otherwise, find something else that interests you that you can do for a living and live out your passion for aviation in your spare time.
Ill-Sprinkles6772@reddit
I hope to someday just do the ultralight thing its not the medical but more just the money ,I thought of buying a plane since I am a A and P but even that is just out of reach ,just parking it is unaffordable for me Once I wanted to go to Annapolis and then Aviation but I realized in about 10th grade I just wasn't a good enough student.
private8221@reddit
Get a degree in aerospace. It will get you close to your dream and pays well👍
NicHarvs@reddit
I had it, lost medical, was told I wouldn't fly again, and spent 8 years managing painkillers, medication, physical therapy, and mental anguish watching my classmates have great careers. I got my medical back. Was it worth it? Absolutely not. Flying great, but it's barely a dream without passion.
GuhdNahtBahd@reddit
https://www.thrustflight.com/fly-without-pilot-license/