ULPT Request: How to Sabotage My Apartment and Keep My Security Deposit?

[-]

MufflerTuesday@reddit

Hide something in a vent that won't rot/stink right away, but will after you're gone. Like eggs or whatever.

[-]

Sliced and quartered lemons are the key. They don’t smell and will attract fruit flies forever. But you have to hide them everywhere. Like balcony door railings, hood ranges, behind the front plate of the fridge, in the dryer vent, return for the AC, etc.

[-]

MufflerTuesday@reddit

That's a good one! The only plague tactic I know of is releasing a bag full of pet store crickets in an area where they won't get noticed right away. I like the fruit fly one a lot though!

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

They are noisy and OP would get blamed right away. If delay is the goal, I would not choose, eggs, shrimp, or crickets.

[-]

MufflerTuesday@reddit

Yeah that’s why I mentioned using eggs to avoid detection. I was just sharing another plague tactic I’ve heard of.

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Hmmm, interesting. Like raw eggs?

[-]

MufflerTuesday@reddit

Yeah. Eggs will burst like little rotten bombs after some time. And it will be bad.

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

I never considered that. I just assumed they would smell right away. I’m going to have to remember that. Thanks!

[-]

MorgainofAvalon@reddit

Eggs can be stored on the counter for up to 1 week, and if they were never washed (which store eggs have been), they can last even longer.

This would be to OP'S favor because they will be long gone before the eggs spoil and get disgusting.

[-]

Auto_Phil@reddit

I have three in my coop roof netting that have been there for three years now and they have not blown up. And they have had two full winters too. I can’t reach them, o ly see them.

[-]

MorgainofAvalon@reddit

I've never seen them blow up either. When we put them down the vents, we had to crack them, and they were lumpy.

[-]

Auto_Phil@reddit

Now we did find one duck egg in the garden and as soon as we touched it boom death erupted into existence and chaotic laughter. By far the worst smelling thing ever was my uncle Roy. Always curious uncle Roy.

[-]

MorgainofAvalon@reddit

Poor Roy. 🤢

[-]

papermill_phil@reddit

Good God, the rotten eggs we would find back on the farm when I was younger, in some nest hidden in spots only us kids could/would get to...

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

I can’t even fathom the smell.

[-]

papermill_phil@reddit

I'm not even joking, there were times when they were so old, so bad, that bumping them while removing the eggs would cause one to explode...

[-]

fragileirl@reddit

Plague tactic is sending me

[-]

Tiradia@reddit

Potatoes are another option.

[-]

BurnyMadeoffJR@reddit

Potatoes are great for this too…. Fruit flies and they smell like death

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

How long before they start to smell?

[-]

BurnyMadeoffJR@reddit

Like a month or two.. I’ve never seen so many fruit flies as when a guy left a bag of potatoes in a cabinet above our oven in my old sober living… we couldn’t figure out where they were coming from - when we found them it was 🤢

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

A whole month? Hmmm…

[-]

cascasrevolution@reddit

god the fucking fruitflies...

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Because of different temps in different places, you get different batches at different times. Even if you find the source of one, you’ll need to find the source of all to get rid of them.

[-]

domdymond@reddit

Or put raw fish and some water in a half dozen layers of ziplock. The heat will eventually burst the baggies.

[-]

GooseOnAPhone@reddit

But when they find them you can be sued for damages, don’t do this

[-]

MufflerTuesday@reddit

It’ll take a few months. Probably hard to prove you were the person that did it and not someone else like someone that worked for the landlord.

Possible alternative is to seek out some quail eggs and then you can argue that it’s not your problem some random ass quail decided to lay eggs in the place.

[-]

account_not_valid@reddit

I don't think they'd jump to the conclusion that they are quail eggs.

They'd probably just assume a rat laid the eggs.

[-]

CzarTyrranvs@reddit

Rats…lay eggs?!

[-]

account_not_valid@reddit

They don't? The where did all these rat eggs come from?

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Karma Farmer. 126k in 10 months. Go away.

[-]

GooseOnAPhone@reddit

Sorry I’m well liked

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Your hands don’t count.

[-]

FelineOphelia@reddit

Frozen shrimp

[-]

professor_doom@reddit

The trick is a glass ball jar and put a couple raw chicken thighs in there and sprinkle a few packets of yeast in there. Fill the rest with milk and screw the cap on very tightly. When the jar eventually crack open, it will be the worst smell you can imagine. And it’s nearly impossible to get rid of.

[-]

Evening-Cat-7546@reddit

Milk + Chicken + Mason jar = chicken stink bomb

FOREVER UNCLEAN!!!!

[-]

Shadowofcloud9@reddit

Just start loosening water hoses. Under sinks, the dishwasher, the water heater. Water damage is hell to deal with. If you have a washer in the unit jam something down the drainage pipe before you leave. Toss an old smoke detector with a mostly dead battery into the crawl space. If you have central AC you'll have a condensation drain tube outside, plug that too

[-]

Popular-Drummer-7989@reddit

It's not worth it. Your best revenge is to take lots of photos and do the walkthru on video with them.

His karma will be a horrible tenant who destroys the remodel.

[-]

_azazel_keter_@reddit

Karma is not real and is exactly something I'd make up if I was evil. "No you don't have to punish me for my evil it'll magically solve itself"

[-]

kevinh456@reddit

You misunderstand karma. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Sometimes it takes awhile for the opposite reaction to occur from the minor actions but eventually karma always snaps back.

[-]

_azazel_keter_@reddit

Okay but that's not true. You know it's my true, right? It's important to me that you understand that reality is morally indifferent and only us sentient beings are capable of caring about, let alone enforcing, justice.

[-]

kevinh456@reddit

You do know that the odds of you living in a simulation are exponentially higher than you living in a primary reality right?

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Some people believe in karma and that’s okay too. You must believe, your account is only a year old and you have 51k karma.

[-]

Hot-Concentrate-9238@reddit

Username does not check out

[-]

TheTyger@reddit

Why do you have such an odd fascination with karma and account age?

You have a 2 year old account with a frankly weirdly low karma for how much you comment. Are you jealous of people having fake internet popularity?

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Oh my gosh, you got me. I’m jealous of farmers and bots. You’re a genius!

[-]

glorywesst@reddit

Oh I absolutely believe the universe steps in occasionally to right wrongs.

[-]

Crazy-Agency5641@reddit

No…. No, it doesn’t. Anything that happens is purely by coincidence or a person CHOOSING to right a wrong. The universe is purely random by design so of course there will be the occasional perceived righting of a wrong, but that’s not some all knowing alien reaching down to smite your landlord because they’re a dick. lol

[-]

minecon1776@reddit

Why would it?

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Oh, I do too. But I also think sometimes we have to help it along.

[-]

deleted_by_reddit@reddit

[removed]

[-]

AutoModerator@reddit

Your comment has been removed for using a banned word or phrase.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[-]

FishPeanutButter@reddit

Okay maybe you misunderstood them.

KARMA IS NOT REAL.

[-]

filtersweep@reddit

It is ‘real’ - assholes don’t have nice friends. Their friends are all assholes.

Of course there isn’t some cosmic force that gives cosmic justice. It is a practical construct.

[-]

Future-Excuse6167@reddit

Dick Cheney died at 84 with someone else's heart, probably surrounded by people who loved him.

[-]

IAm2Legit2Sit@reddit

What sucks is this will torment the next tenant not necessarily the landlord. How about sign them up for the scientologist org or another nuisance.

[-]

CzarMMP@reddit

Open up the breaker panel and cross out all their handwritten labels

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Dang it. Where were you 5 years ago? My old place had all the locations written in pencil. I would have erased all of it. I feel like this was a missed opportunity for me.

[-]

playmaker1209@reddit

“With a fuuuckin penciiiiell.” Still hear that line in my head whenever I hear pencils

[-]

Terrible_Analysis_77@reddit

Rewrite them

[-]

miraculum_one@reddit

That's more likely to punish the next tenant than the landlord.

[-]

account_not_valid@reddit

Peel off and randomly replace the stickers.

[-]

so-so-suck-ya-toe@reddit

This is so funny

[-]

AndarianDequer117@reddit

I hear putting shrimps in the curtain rod will be bad because after 3 days or so, the smell will start. After a week it'll be unbearable. More than likely unless they've seen the Reddit post about this they're never going to be able to figure out where the smell is coming from and then he won't be able to rent it out to anybody else.

[-]

inquiring_minds94@reddit

What kinda fancy schmancy place are you renting that provides tenants with curtain rods? Lol.
But seriously, is this a thing? I figured tenants would want to hang their own curtain rods to match their decor.

[-]

HitIerWasWrong@reddit

You a landlord?

That shit is bolted to the wall, and I've never had to buy one.

[-]

inquiring_minds94@reddit

Yep. I'm a landlord. We provide blinds, of course - but no curtain rods

And I only ever rented one apartment before buying my current home, and it just had blinds - no curtain rods.

[-]

short_bus_genius@reddit

They usually mean shower curtain rods

[-]

inquiring_minds94@reddit

Got it. I legit wondered if that's what he / she meant for a second, but then I figured if he meant that, he would have said 'shower curtain' and not curtain. Not being anal, I just never heard anyone not make the distinction.😊 In my old apartment, there was no rod, but it it had the glass door set-up instead. In my first apartment, we had to buy those tension rods. Lease even had something in it about not mounting permanent ones. Not sure why.
In our rentals, the tenants just use tension rods.

[-]

inquiring_minds94@reddit

Lol. Reddit is funny. I can't tell if I'm getting downvoted for answering a question or because I'm landlord or because Andarian... meant shower curtain rods.

Not sure if it helps 🤣 but I didn't choose landlord-life, after my parents died - we inherited Dad's rentals. We put 10 units up for sale, giving tenants first right of refusal. We hung on to 3, tenant caused a fire (dog knocked over candle) and burned one down, so now we have 2 left. I just extended the porch / deck because the tenant asked and she's been a good tenant. I think I'm a good landlord, but if not providing curtain rods makes me a bad one, I'll take that. 🤣

[-]

coffeebugtravels@reddit

Ooh! With the edit that's pretty genius!

[-]

GooseOnAPhone@reddit

And then when they inevitably find them, you lose all your legal standing because you sabotaged an apartment. You will probably be sued by the landlord for damages, likely lose, and then have to pay for the renovations they were going to do anyway.

It sucks, but really, you will likely just have to take the L on this one

[-]

AndarianDequer117@reddit

They're not going to be able to dust for fingerprints on a bloated decaying moldy shrimp.

[-]

GooseOnAPhone@reddit

They don’t have to, you were the last person who occupied the space, and left under less than friendly circumstances. You’re going to lose that case friend

[-]

Camaschrist@reddit

Proving they did it would be hard.

[-]

Nobodyinc1@reddit

Not really it’s a civil cause, you only have to prove it’s more likely then not they did it. Very different standard of evidence

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Of course they are! Technology is amazing today!

[-]

MarleysGhost2024@reddit

Well aren't you a little ray of sunshine!

[-]

GooseOnAPhone@reddit

I’d much rather they learn it here than in court

[-]

Holiduh@reddit (OP)

Thank you for everyone’s contribution. After careful consideration I’ve decided to think of the poor landlords out there. It’s hard to make a living out there for them, especially when my selfish occupation of their property interrupts their passive income.

[-]

KamtzaBarKamtza@reddit

Why would you do anything? Your lease represents an agreement for you to live in the apartment in exchange for rent. At the end of the lease you are both free to choose whether to renew the lease or not. If you decided to move out would it be appropriate for your landlord to vandalize your property?

Be a mensch. Find somewhere else to live, pack your things, and go. When negotiating you're next lease be sure to find a landlord who will agree to whatever language you want to include to protect yourself from however you feel you've been legally wronged.

Feel free to tell people that the landlord greatly inconvenienced you by causing you to move but don't do anything unethical or illegal.

[-]

Holiduh@reddit (OP)

This is the Unethical Life Pro Tips subreddit, friend. While helpful, that’s a pro tip that’s quite ethical

[-]

Halcyon_Ingenium@reddit

Here’s the play. Get a side gig, work some extra, save up early for your move, and secure a place with a welcome deal a month or two before your landlord’s eviction date. Don’t tell anyone, just quietly move a few things a day until you’ve gotten rid of everything you wanted to save. Once “moved out” run the humidity up past 60% and make it moist, add some cellulose to the ceilings and such and black mold should pop up within that period. Starting a termites infestation is next level if you’re really tryna fuck em in the long term.

[-]

SignatureCreepy503@reddit

The black mold is wild. Depending on where you are the nightmare you could create for them is next level.

[-]

ThatCJGuy431@reddit

Roaches. A small handful (5-10) in a closet will infest the building forever unless they get them professionally removed, and judging by the details given, the landlord won’t want to do it professionally and likely will just try to half-ass it himself.

[-]

SuccessfulCanary558@reddit

Nice but bedbugs would be even better

[-]

SignatureCreepy503@reddit

Can't both happen?

[-]

MrSpaceguru@reddit

Won’t that just fuck over the new tenant and be ignored by the landlord?

[-]

Alone_Banana_3520@reddit

Where can I easily get bed bugs?

[-]

account_not_valid@reddit

Yo momma's bed?

[-]

moranya1@reddit

GOTTEM!

[-]

ttypeguy@reddit

U got them from his momma's bed lol

[-]

Ikillwhatieat@reddit

You can get questionable species on ebay. Red runners are theatrically horrifying.

[-]

vuatson@reddit

I was gonna suggest live feeder mice.

[-]

swirlybat@reddit

drill holes in walls around baseboards, insert stink bates, fill holes w mud, sand, a lil touch up paint. tap pinholes into copper water fixtures in the bathroom showers, behind the fittings. slow leak to ruin subflooring til it rots. take the p trap off the bathroom sink, clog the bitch as far back into the wall affixed end of the pipe. itll take a bit to get noticed. lastly, pour so much fucking hot grease down those drains. go steal grease from the fast food dumps and drop that shit down there. lastly for real: buy feeder crickets...oh fuck put them bitches in the walls

[-]

DCAmalG@reddit

You don’t know the landlord‘s finances.

Maybe your current rent doesn’t even cover his or her mortgage and the only way he feels like he can increase the rent is to improve the place.

[-]

stonedndlonely@reddit

The landlord should sell if they can't pay their own bills with other people's money. Rent should only be slightly higher than costs of owning the property, to be able to pay for repairs etc.

[-]

Adorable_Argument_44@reddit

weird ULPT to punish someone for adding value.

[-]

stonedndlonely@reddit

Found the immoral capitalist. Doubling someone's rent to push them out because you want to line your pockets is morally disgusting. One thing to wait a bit and when they move renovate it and raise the price to reflect any new amenities, but housing shouldn't be for investment or profit, get a real job rather than take advantage of people.

[-]

Dragonkitelooper@reddit

The day you move out. Frozen shrimp, in the toilet paper rolls and the curtain rods if possible.

[-]

One-Weekend9383@reddit

When you move, dump aquarium gravel down your tub/shower drain slowly while running water. Make sure that you don’t overfill to the point it can be seen. Likewise, got any friends who smoke weed? Invite them to come clean their bongs in the same sink. Either way, those drains are going to forever to clear.

[-]

LachoooDaOriginl@reddit

Everyone here is talking about mild things but the first thing i thought of was burn it down 🤷‍♂️ obviously not something id recommend but this is unethical life tips not smart life tips

[-]

UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit

Your post or comment was removed for violating rule 8: No tips about rape, murder, suicide, or in general any tip that would violate the Geneva Convention laws.

[-]

gobblegobblechumps@reddit

It's not illegal life tips either

[-]

LachoooDaOriginl@reddit

I have yet to see a single legal tip in this thread. Making it smell is causing financial harm to the would be rentee, as would infesting it with roaches or the like. Not exactly legal. Anything that results in delays to renting or money to fix is not legal (probably not going to get persecution from it but still) so legality isn’t really something that’s considered much here

[-]

gobblegobblechumps@reddit

So commit arson instead of changing the labels on the breaker box???????????????? Or dropping lemons into all the air vents???????????????????????

[-]

Hot-Werewolf99@reddit

Vandalism is illegal boo

[-]

gobblegobblechumps@reddit

So commit arson instead?????????????

[-]

BurnyMadeoffJR@reddit

I always lay a paper towel down in the very middle of each room and take a fat shit on it.. 💩

Also I shit in the top of the toilet, so when it flushes, the new water is shitty.. 💩 💧

[-]

EyesofRiverGreen@reddit

Go to the pet store, purchase a frozen rat or two (they sell them as snake food). Hide the frozen rats in the ventilation the day that you move. By the time it starts to really stink they won’t be able to pin it on you. You’re welcome. 😇

[-]

BH-NaFF@reddit

Water damage a day or a few before move out. If you go easy and just get the area wet to the point the wood doesn’t swell or it doesn’t make the paint sweat or discolor it can take a while for the mold problem to become apparent. Bonus points if youre able to soak the insulation within the wall and not the actual drywall. It will make the insulation moldy and eventually damage the drywall from the inside out so it could take a month before they notice an issue

[-]

Future-Excuse6167@reddit

Hm. I think drilling one very small hole in a pipe that's difficult to access might me a better idea. Copper pipes can develop pinhole leaks naturally.

[-]

PoolMotosBowling@reddit

They don't have to increase rent to get you out. They just don't renew the lease or use the clause that says they can terminate with a notice. Usually 90 days, some areas it's as low as 30.

[-]

Newzachary@reddit

Easy and quick way:

Remove the electrical wall plates, remove the outlet or switch, disconnect and wire nut the open wires, reinstall plugs/switches, reinstall wall plates.

[-]

Malve1@reddit

It’s shitty and you know it. This negative energy doesn’t serve you. Focus on positive plans to live your best life ever.

[-]

Kooky-Beyond5535@reddit

Get a real job, landlord

[-]

Malve1@reddit

Not only not a landlord but, in fact, a renter. If my landlord did this to me, I’d be upset but at the end of the day, it’s their choice for their property.

[-]

PaticusGnome@reddit

R/lostredditors

[-]

ttypeguy@reddit

Bed bugs and cockroaches it would take yrs

[-]

Javi_in_1080p@reddit

report the apartment to the city for code violations to the city

[-]

miraculum_one@reddit

Put a bunch of ads out for your apartment for the pre-increase price. Include the address, landlord's name and other contact info and pictures of the newly renovated place. Post them all over nearby college campuses. SEO the crap out of your digital ads.

[-]

Quirky-Invite7664@reddit

After you move out, make it widely known among criminals circles that no one is living there, so it’s a great target for squatters or people who want to steal construction equipment or appliances.

[-]

moranya1@reddit

Remove the vent from the bathroom fan and unhook the hose that blows the hot air outside. Now when the shower gets used, the hot humid air gets blown I to the rafters. Eventually that will lead to a HUGE mold problem.

[-]

Haggis_HotPocket@reddit

Once upon a time, my kids started a fire in the microwave. I was prepared to pay.

Rent due on 31st. Period. Left money in drop box at 6pm. Planning to exit apartment forever.

Landlord, you owe me another month of rent.

Bought 5$ can of white paint and spray painted interior of microwave. Passed with flying colors.

No way he gets away with screwing me out of months rent without repercussions.

[-]

Affectionate-Sir7136@reddit

Piss off the neighbors. Tell them youre the owner and moving out to renovate, throw a few parties, then leave.

Alternatively if youre friends with your neighbors tell them to make it hard for the renovation guys. Cant park there mate.

Probably wouldn't be a good idea to order contraband to that address as your name is on it. But you could absolutely show interest in a few odd religions and pyramid/mlm schemes.

[-]

colofire@reddit

Is he raising the rent above market rates? I wouldn’t do anything if he’s just matching market and was giving you below market for the last few years

[-]

clandestine_justice@reddit

I feel like you ideally you'd avoid doing something that will mostly just harm the next renter. Maybe you can either do some research & find out where the landlord lives? Or insit he be there for the final walk though & have a friend outside note which car is his when he shows up & dump some cream into the vent air intakes or rub a habanero under the door handle or something while he's inside with you.

[-]

sylviegee@reddit

All the landlords are making themselves known in this thread. Get a real job

[-]

pichael288@reddit

Who the fuck gets their security deposit back? Has that ever happened? I'm in Ohio and no one ever gets it back so no one cares about damage. Corruption fucks it's self here, and Ohio is nothing but corruption.

Did you know they send pedophiles to drug rehab (CCC, called turtle creek on Google maps, In Lebanon across from the prison).

Yep, level 3, the highest, sex offenders. I slept next to one in rehab, they put them on the low security dorm because we are non violent and get out early, and won't jeopardize it. It's fucked up. The sheriff of Butler county also got rid of our narcan when we were the worst area for overdoses, said they don't deserve it. That's our fucking community. Sheriff jones of Butler county is also my grandpa's neighbor and he gets drunk screaming the N word all night. And he talks about being a Christian, he's a fucking demon.

Google "tucker Carlson doug dimmadome" and you'll see his shitty evil ass. He has raped allegations Against him too.

[-]

Atworkwasalreadytake@reddit

Improving your property is not a rat move.

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Doubling your rent so you’ll leave is.

[-]

Atworkwasalreadytake@reddit

No, he could have just chosen to but renew your lease, he gave you the option of paying rent at the rent he’ll be able to demand after the renovation or moving.

The option to stay was a courtesy.

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Nobody wants to stop him from renovating. We said it was a dick move to double the rent. And what makes you think OP’s rent is low? Your assumptions are wild. FFS

[-]

Atworkwasalreadytake@reddit

The alternative was just to kick him to the curb.

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

Please elaborate on the good deed. We’ll wait.

[-]

Atworkwasalreadytake@reddit

I already did … twice … but since you’re slow on the uptake:

He could have just not renewed the lease and kicked him out without offering the option to stay.

[-]

MindYoSelfB@reddit

I don’t argue with strangers on the internet. Have a good night!

[-]

Atworkwasalreadytake@reddit

Ha! You responded to me!

[-]

Faloughi@reddit

Flush some nip bottles in the toilet. It’ll never flush correctly and you can snake it all you want, it won’t help

[-]

BugBugRoss@reddit

Small investment, tons of enjoyment. No damage except to their mind.

https://a.co/d/0hSyr7C4

[-]

RastaTeddyBear@reddit

Chicken bomb. Get a glass jar. Put uncooked chicken inside. Fill the voids with milk. Put the lid on and place in the AC vent.

Eventually the gasses of the spoiling chicken will make the lid fail and the place will be filled with a terrible smell.

[-]

stabbingrabbit@reddit

Start leaving dog food around and especially if you can get it in the attic. Raccoons are a pain. Also small holes around the roof to let in bats. And there are also termites. Those are fun to get rid of. Place a few at the foundation. May be a long game but they will eventually ruin the wood in the building.

[-]

brainhack3r@reddit

Termites... It's going to take a long time, like six plus months, for that to really start having an impact.

But when it does, you often have to do massively expensive repairs or even the entire house.

And if he tries to sell the house and they find termites, he is fucked.

You can also get them in the words pretty easily. Just find a fallen tree that is rotting and break it open, and there'll be a lot of termites in there.

[-]

brainhack3r@reddit

> it’s still a rat move to pull on stable tenants of 4 years.

Usually, what they do is increase by like 15% year over year. Until you stop paying and move out.

[-]

MarleysGhost2024@reddit

Trash them landlord on Google, apartments.com, and every rental platform you can find, making sure that everything you post is completelying truthful. Landlords really hate that.

[-]

tits-enjoyer69@reddit

Just find someplace else to live. Maybe this is an opportunity to move to a rent-controlled city or a state with more favorable laws to renters. They will find every reason they can to withhold your security deposit. Don't give them any ammo to do so.

[-]

paxweasley@reddit

Ridiculous comment. “Just mine potentially out of state and possibly across the country for rent control”. Please. That’s not how life works. That’s not how people choose where they live. Doesn’t help with opportunities or anything.

Boils down to “tsk tsk why would you live somewhere with regressive laws you should have known better”

Give me a break

[-]