In America is it considered rude to eat before other people have received their food?
Posted by BankaiBroke@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 603 comments
If we're eating at a restaurant in a group of 8 and 3 of them get their food, is it rude if they begin to eat before the others get theirs?
tsukiii@reddit
Yeah, but not seriously so. Usually one of the people still waiting for their food will tell the rest it’s ok to start eating.
CupBeEmpty@reddit
It also really depends on what kind of meal we are talking about.
Sitting down at a nice restaurant or a weekend family dinner. It’s usually best to wait until everyone has food.
If it is just casually eating pizza or grilling outside while folks are running around doing stuff then it’s much more casual and everyone can just eat whenever.
Fwahm@reddit
It's really situational even at restaurants. Sometimes the first meals can arrive 10, 15, even 20 minutes later than the first ones, and if everyone waits then half the food is cold before people start eating.
QuinceDaPence@reddit
If someones plate shows up 20 minutes later than the rest of the table they better comp that shit or start bringing out free deserts. (When it's not the recipients fault)
There's no excuse for that. 5 minutes, whatever but at 20 the rest are probably close to finished and I'm close to cancelling that last dish and leaving no tip. I seem to always get mine last (and I'm usually ordering the simplest dish) and when it's way later it sucks having to watch everyone else eat and then I get my food and feel rushed because everyone else is done.
MisinformedGenius@reddit
Yup. I have stiffed tips twice in twenty years of adulthood and both times it was because I didn’t get my dish and everyone else at the table did, like somehow I got forgotten. I don’t care whose fault it is, that’s a shitty experience and I’m not paying any more than I have to for it.
ivantmybord@reddit
You punished your server for something the kitchen did? Wild
searequired@reddit
Waiter needs to pay attention
ivantmybord@reddit
Yeah that's not how restaurants work
pineypenny@reddit
Yes it is. If your meal is more than 2 minutes behind the rest of the table, an explanation is owed and communication is on front of house staff. Whether it’s because they ran the order earlier than they should have or because something is happening on the line or some other reason, the diner should be in the loop and the person to do that is the server.
MisinformedGenius@reddit
I have no idea whose fault it is. What I do know is that the server put down the food in front of everyone else and I had to remind them that I had ordered.
SabresBills69@reddit
to a point ….
my brother lives in one city, I live in another. we both return to our hometown a few times a year and we get together with a shared group of friends. on some of these visits we do a large group go out to dinner. so we are a group of at least 16-24 ( depends on who can come). we make reservations.
Over the last holidays we thought we made reservations. but some reason they didn’t have this on their records. we were going on a slower weekday night so they were thinking this is a normally slow Tuesday night where they only need 2 people ( bartender/ server and cook)
they fit us in but we all knew meals would take a while and they likely won’t be served all at once. they called another in for a bit to help.
QuinceDaPence@reddit
If it's 24 people and it's coming out as a stream of dishes that's a totally different situation. Plus if the last ones come out around the same time you'll have quite a few people still eating at the same time so no rushing.
I'm talking like, group of 6 and 5 dishes come out and 1 is left waiting, then 20 minutes later gets theirs while the others have already finished. Then the last person has to sit there eating with 5 people watching them.
That's garbage service.
LeSkootch@reddit
I've worked at some upscale restaurants that were well oiled machines. A party of 20+ ordering off the menu would go without a hitch every single time. Food would all be on the table in about three minutes from when the first plate hits. One place was insane how efficient the kitchen was. No point in this, just it was a really awesome kitchen crew. Working large parties an suck but that place made it worthwhile.
rubiscoisrad@reddit
That's the difference right there. Timing is everything. If one of those wants 20+ wants something well done, another needs something in the oven, those get fired first. A good expo is calling things out in a way that the cooks at other stations can manage the flow and stick it in the pass nearly at once, provided the food runners are being mindful. A 20 minute gap between two dishes sat at the same table is not a good look.
MessoGesso@reddit
It has been seriously impressive at dinner for two having 2 waiters synchronize placing plates etc on the table. It's like the Olympics without skin tight clothes
TywinDeVillena@reddit
After 10 minutes, I'd talk to a waiter and ask if they had forgot my order, to be honest.
QuinceDaPence@reddit
Typically during this I would be asking them everytime I see them.
Realreelred@reddit
It's usually not the waiter. It's the folks cooking your food.
TywinDeVillena@reddit
True, but I can't go ask the kitchen staff
Realreelred@reddit
But this is the time to ask for the manager. The server/ waiter or waitress is at the mercy of the kitchen who makes more per hour.
Prestigious-Comb4280@reddit
That's the truth. I don't go to places that would ever do that.
Exciting_Argument367@reddit
20 minutes later? Where are you eating? My place of work…. 30 seconds and Im apologizing and making up an excuse. 1 minute and managers is at the table. 2 minutes and my chef is going to be doing the walk of shame bringing it out late.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Right? It should be no more than a few minutes or they're doing it wrong.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Was about to say that, restaurant’s accountability.
Smooth-Reputation502@reddit
Some restaurants add an additional layer of complexity for a table when everyone orders through a tablet or linking to the menu with a QR code. The orders don’t get sent to the kitchen at the same time, food/drinks come out when ready.
whatever32657@reddit
there is no excuse for that at a restaurant. they are professionals and supposed to be able to time it so all the food for the table comes out fresh and hot at the same time.
if this does not happen and i am (one of) the food less person, i will encourage the others to eat while it's hot, but ima raise hell with that restaurant out of everyone else's earshot
Realreelred@reddit
If you are in a restaurant and this happens the kitchen doesn't know how to time their food. A experienced chef or cook knows how to time the service.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
When it’s a big table, most definitely, the one(s) waiting tell the others to, please, go ahead and start.
CupBeEmpty@reddit
Yeah that’s when you go with “oh please go ahead.”
JWOLFBEARD@reddit
If it’s Thanksgiving, you can expect a smackdown
Head_Razzmatazz7174@reddit
Yep. We've gone out to eat in big family groups, and those that haven't gotten served will usually tell the others "Go ahead and eat while it's still warm."
It actually works out well if we haven't seen each other for while, as it gives everyone more time to play catch up while we are waiting on the last people to finish up.
elenchusis@reddit
It's rude not to say it's ok
Charming-Pack-5979@reddit
That’s so true, it’s kind of a funny game we play with each other 😂
TillikumWasFramed@reddit
Totally. One of those weird cultural things I never realized until now.
tsukiii@reddit
You can even take it one more layer - offer the person still waiting some of your food
tibearius1123@reddit
But only if they are willing to accept the food baby bird style.
rubiscoisrad@reddit
Aw, like that parable of how they eat in heaven. We're gonna need some long spoons over here, folks!
FlyByPC@reddit
Works for me. I'm cheep enough to go for that.
TableIll4714@reddit
I see what you did there
FlyByPC@reddit
Who says dad jokes are for the birds?
John_cCmndhd@reddit
E! L! G! S! E! S! ELGSES!
FlyByPC@reddit
Go 'birds.
FlyByPC@reddit
However, if the food is sushi, it's a loan to be paid back when your order arrives.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
I wouldn’t offer.
Quarter_Shot@reddit
You cad
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
You ain’t kidding, I’ve heard that before. People are really out of it, unreal.
Ziegelmarkt@reddit
Now you made me want to say “yo! I haven’t been severed yet! Forks down!”
beyondplutola@reddit
If I’m the last one being served, I like to stare menacingly at my fellow dinner companions, say nothing and dare them to take a bite without my permission.
exgiexpcv@reddit
I like what the family Rottweiler would do: let a highly viscous bit of drool slowly stretch towards the floor, then have it hang there like bungie jumper that just lost the plot, and then occasionally let out a low, rumbling, "Wooooooof."
All the while with visual lock, staring into your soul, daring you to try something.
I'd say, "No, it's my spaghetti, I earned this!"
And then the ultimate weapon. A slow, high-pitched squeal, like a balloon that was slowly being drained. My eyes would water, I'd curse, and the Rottie would wolf down my dinner while I left the room and tried desperately not to throw up.
Charming-Pack-5979@reddit
Might I suggest holding a pen and small tablet all the while?
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Read your Kindle, lol.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
🤣😂🤭
No_Seaworthiness8176@reddit
Dad?
CalmRip@reddit
It's also a bit rude to keep people waiting because you're late to the table.
turdferguson3891@reddit
Yeah but it's not always that. Sometimes it's just that yours came out first. Or maybe you got something with a soup or salad and they brought that first.
Melora_T_Rex714@reddit
As a waitress (long ago) I would always bring a plate out when the cook put it up there, instead of letting it sit there under the heat lamps until everyone’s is ready.
Prestigious-Comb4280@reddit
I never did that. The table gets served at the same time.
Stan_Deviant@reddit
Okay THAT is not normal. If you are at a place with shared plates, sure, but otherwise the only times I would split a table would be:
Nds90@reddit
I'm not letting my soup go cold because someone's dumb ass asked for a well done 20 oz steak. If you are that hungry, order an appetizer.
CalmRip@reddit
I was thinking of when the family has been told the food's on the table, and somebody decides he has to finish sanding, or rewriting, or a game.
AlarmedTelephone5908@reddit
OP is specifically referring to restaurants.
FlyByPC@reddit
Yeah, the "wait for other people" rule is really for when everybody ordered at a restaurant at the same time, and some dishes come out first.
Untimed_Heart313@reddit
Feels real specific, you good?
CalmRip@reddit
Yeah, I'm fine, but I've long since learned to say "Show up within 2 minutes or we're starting without you and you get what the hungry hordes leave."
kembr12@reddit
In that case - feel free to eat. The person lagging is the rude one.
Agitated_Reveal_6211@reddit
But this is not that.
Primary-Rabbit-4041@reddit
Exactly- OP specified they're referring to restaurant dining
RamblinMan4@reddit
If it gets to the point where you need to tell others to go ahead the restaurant fucked up.
Ornery-Ocelot3585@reddit
It depends on the setting. In formal dining we would wait. In a semi-formal or formal home we would wait.
I know this is the exception. But it’s worth a mention.
_bibliofille@reddit
Perhaps, but I would genuinely feel weird and bad for making people wait. I'm gonna get my plate and smash it, feel free to begin.
pinback77@reddit
True, it's a courtesy recognizing someone didn't get their food yet.
the_vole@reddit
Depends on the scenario
Pulp501@reddit
This is a lie. No one gives a fuck
JohnHenryMillerTime@reddit
Correct answer. A work around is also an appetizer. Then everyone starts eating but mains come out at a different pace. Doesnt work in formal situations but those have theor own clear rules
rubiscoisrad@reddit
When I served, sometimes the kitchen would be so weird that I would comp an app for the table just so everybody had something to munch on while the line got their shit together.
But usually a group of 4+ is gonna grab an app or two anyways, so that's not a common issue in my limited experience.
borisdidnothingwrong@reddit
About 40 years ago, I read both Emily Post's and Miss Manners' Etiquette guides.
The three things I remember are:
Asparagus is a finger food. A knife and fork are not required, and cutting asparagus into pieces is unnecessary.
You have a year from the wedding to give a wedding present. If the couple divorces in that time no gift is required.
As soon as 3 people have been served, it is okay to start your meal. This way, your food isn't approaching room temperature while waiting on the kitchen to complete plates for service.
In my family, for informal gatherings, you eat as soon as you dish up. It would be rude to wait. In other words, Mom doesn't hold with the idea that everyone needs food on their plate in order to tuck in.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
That’s the social dynamic, one might feel bad holding up the others. That’s etiquette vs consideration.
MH07@reddit
Yes.
unfort_nate@reddit
At a restaurant, yes, depending on how long the food is taking. At home, no.
Reddlegg99@reddit
If I'm paying for the table and someone eats before I'm served, then yes. Guess who won't be invited next time.
SpaceFroggy1031@reddit
Depends on the group. One of your companions will often tell you to go ahead and eat before it gets cold. But, if no one says this, the default it to wait.
WhichWitch9402@reddit
It’s not a huge deal if it’s a big group. If it’s a small size, then it’s polite to wait.
meowmix778@reddit
I was raised that way and I think most people were.
A lot of people won't hold to it.
lightspinnerss@reddit
I know many people who do that but in my opinion it is rude. Especially if you’re at someone’s house and they cooked for you. I always wait for everyone to sit down before serving myself and then wait until everyone is served before I eat
Many_Library8497@reddit
It depends. If it's like in-laws I would wait. If it's just my own family I would tell my kids to eat the food while it's hot and if I am hosting I tell my guests not to wait and eat while the food is hot and fresh.
Even with my British family they would say don't wait, eat while hot etc.
drdpr8rbrts@reddit
Yes, but this is not always something people know. Depends a lot on how they were raised and how much etiquette they were taught.
Sea-Significance8047@reddit
I ate out a lot as a kid but tbh it just wasn’t a cultural norm where I grew up (central Pennsylvania). Your food came, you ate it. Sometimes you’d be in the other position and nobody likes cold food, no need to do a song and dance about it. When I met my NYC-born and raised spouse, he treated it like was a mortal sin so I have always made sure to play the “oh no, it’s totally fine, go ahead and eat!” game from now on just to make sure no one’s delicate sensibilities ever are offended.
mst3k_42@reddit
I always thought waiting to eat until everyone’s dishes were on the table was a Midwestern politeness thing.
ShivaFatalis@reddit
It's not rude at all. What's rude is expecting people who have received their meal to let it sit there and get cold, thus reducing their dining experience, while your dining experience remains unaffected. THAT is rude.
ObjectiveElefant@reddit
It is considered bad etiquette, that’s just a fact. It’s also considered bad etiquette to be the one who doesn’t have their food yet and neglect to say “go ahead and eat”, after which, people should absolutely eat and not decline. If the person is inconsiderate enough to not notice that others in the party are waiting on them, it’s fine for someone with the food to say “do you mind if we start?”. It’s really just classy formalities.
ShivaFatalis@reddit
Just because one group of people consider it bad etiquette doesn't magically make it a fact. Learn that. Other groups of people have different sets of etiquette, and they are no less valid than whatever yours might be. Learn that also.
ObjectiveElefant@reddit
Etiquette has formal rules. Learn that.
ShivaFatalis@reddit
Your version of etiquette has formal rules. Not every culture, or every group of people in the world has the same set of rules in their etiquette as you do in your small corner of the world. In fact, the differences are so large, that what's polite in some cultures is downright rude in others. You are obviously not well-traveled or this wouldn't even be a conversation.
ObjectiveElefant@reddit
This sub is “ask an American”. They’re asking about American etiquette. I’ve been all over the world. I’m responding to their question as it was asked. You are not.
ShivaFatalis@reddit
I see your ignorance knows no bounds. I see this more and more these days from the narrow-minded, especially "Americans". America isn't a single culture. America is a diverse mixture of many cultures. In fact, it's literally defined by a mix of cultures, and is extremely diverse, with a substantial percentage of the population being foreign born. Those cultures are very prominent in various areas of the country. The cultures are very different even in different areas of the country. The etiquette isn't standardized across the entire land. Maybe you'd like to think it is, but that doesn't make it the case. Start paying attention. The fabric of the world doesn't conform to your slice of existence and adhere to your personal life experience. Broaden your perspective.
ObjectiveElefant@reddit
Ok, first I'm not well travelled and am stuck in my corner of the world, then when I point out that I'm responding as an American to a question about American etiquette, you sidestep to something else. There are formal rules in American etiquette. They're asking about American etiquette. That means people who follow American etiquette. Not those who follow, for instance, Chinese American etiquette.
Why are you in an Ask an American sub, if you're not American?
We are talking about American etiquette alone here and you are attempting to make a character judgment based on an answer that is specific to THIS question. I think maybe you need to take your own advice.
ShivaFatalis@reddit
There isn't a universally accepted "American Etiquette". If you can't manage to wrap your head around that, then so be it.
ObjectiveElefant@reddit
There absolutely is. It's what you learn in etiquette class in the US. As this country stands in 2026, it is proper etiquette to wait for other people before eating, or wait until the person who wasn't served, to dismiss and tell everyone to eat. It's the proper answer to this person's question and there's no etiquette class in *America* that would tell you otherwise. You don't need to accept it, but it doesn't make it any less true.
ShivaFatalis@reddit
Just another ignorant American who can only see their own view. Stay ignorant. It suits you.
ObjectiveElefant@reddit
You’re trying to tell me how it is in the US when I’m an American and you’re not. There’s an objective answer. You’re being ignorant here. I had to go to etiquette classes in two different states when I was growing up and did another as an adult. But you know better than me and can call me ignorant. That sounds exactly like someone who isn’t from here but thinks they know better than someone who is. That is ignorance.
ShivaFatalis@reddit
I never once said I wasn't an American. Your reading comprehension really does seem to be lacking. You just invent things in your mind and just like to believe that's how things are. Talk about ignorance...
You definitely don't seem to understand how things are here. You only understand how things have been in YOUR experience, and you are failing to understand that there are experiences that fall outside of that. Look at customs in the South for example. They have their own style of etiquette and various things. They are completely American, not Chinese-American or anything else. You want to tell me that everything is done in the same way in the South as it is in other regions of the country? You're a crazy person. You have no perspective.
Just because you learned things in TWO states does not mean that it applies or is nearly as common everywhere. There are also different rules of etiquette that vary greatly across different social classes and a wide variety of other things. They don't all match up with your version of what YOU think etiquette is. Your version is NOT generally accepted across the country. And other versions of what others accept are NOT less valid than the one you subscribe to.
I don't know how to lay it out to you much simpler than this, so if you still don't get it, then there's just not much hope for you I suppose.
ObjectiveElefant@reddit
You’re exhausting. Ok buddy, you’re right. You’d know better. I hope this pleases you.
ShivaFatalis@reddit
I never once implied I am not an American. Again, your reading comprehension and attention to detail are poor. It's exactly why you're struggling with understanding the original topic at hand.
You can choose to believe anything you wish, but that doesn't make it true. Again, extremely relevant to why you're having such a hard time here. I was born in CA, and am now living in Las Vegas, so yes, I am very much an American. I just got home, it's 3am here, and it's time to sleep. For example, about a week ago when I was down on the Strip, I saw a worker up on a crane removing the Cromwell lettering on the West side of the building in preparation for the Vanderpump rebrand. So go ahead and try and tell me I'm not an American again. Maybe if you do it enough, it'll come true.
ShivaFatalis@reddit
Buddy, you lost all your credibility when you started inventing things about me not being an American. It's literally the same problem you have with your argument about your version of etiquette. You created an idea in your head based off of limited/false information based on your own experiences, and then just decided that it has blanket application to the entire country.
Sorry, but it just doesn't. The world is much bigger than you, and you aren't the authority of what standard etiquette is in America. Hint: there isn't one.
ObjectiveElefant@reddit
You spent multiple messages implying you're not American and now you're trying to turn that against me. Americans, when referring to a country they are citizen of, say "we". You constantly referred to Americans as if you're not one of us, and I still don't believe you are. "Just another ignorant American", is not how Americans refer to each other. Or when you said something like "I've noticed that Americans...". This way of speaking is you implying that you are not an American.
Look up if there's a standard of etiquette in America. There absolutely is one, and you are ignorant to that. You haven't taken a single class (In America), so what makes you believe that you know? What you came up with in your head? Look at the comments here. I'd like you to find one REAL etiquette coach in the US who says it's not universal proper etiquette to wait for others to be served before starting your meal, which is what the question was here. You think you are right, based on whatever you come up with, without any education or experience on the subject. Now, spout off all you want, I'm done with this conversation. The answer is that in the US, it's bad etiquette to start eating before being served. I'm sorry you don't like that.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
A lot of etiquette is dumb and performative though and actually detrimental to the experience
I’m not letting my $50 meal get cold because outback can’t get the plates to the table all at once.
kiwispouse@reddit
That's when you say, Do you mind if I start before it gets cold? No reasonable person will say no, and you've been polite.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Or we could just do away with the performance since it serves no purpose
kiwispouse@reddit
I'm sorry you think it serves no purpose. Being polite and kind to each other helps grease the social wheel. You can see where not being kind or polite has gotten us. It doesn't hurt to give someone 2 seconds of your time being polite.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
You’re not addressing my question. Why do we think that it is polite to ask permission to eat our own food?
Do you do everything people tell you you should do? Without wondering or asking why?
Sweaty_Atmosphere503@reddit
Yes
ZT99k@reddit
Kinda sorta... salads and appetizers are generally OK. Depending on the group size and relationship, and how food is coming out.
It really is not a big deal any more, you can view it in the same category with leaving your hat on in a restaurant.
Small party - say 3 people, probably more annoying. Unless you had some crazy order like Rob and Bob got spaghetti and you ordered a deep dish pizza with a 30 minute cook time, then that is on you.
Larger groups, generally ok to go ahead and tuck in. If you are a family group, you do risk grazers whose food is taking longer...
Poolcreature@reddit
I find it a bit rude and was raised to wait, but I notice not everyone waits. I just think it’s rude to wear in front of people who have nothing. In a restaurant it should all come out within a minute of everything else so I would wait until we could all eat together, I wait at home until everyone has their plate and is seated, and I especially wait at a guests house because I don’t know if they’ll say Grace first.
hntr20@reddit
How formal or informal is the place?
BankaiBroke@reddit (OP)
Places like outback steakhouse or similar
WarrenMulaney@reddit
No rules, just right.
ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit
See also: When you're here, you're family.
byebybuy@reddit
See also: I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back
poechris@reddit
I woke up the other day with this jingle playing in my head 20+ years later.
That was some damn fine marketing.
name_checks_out86@reddit
Yeah I reached an age, where random songs, theme music, and jingles are in my head when I wake up. Often they’re great rocking songs. But the worst is when some really lame song that I hate wakes me up.
ricperry1@reddit
Chili’s 🌶️ lawyer wants a word.
turdferguson3891@reddit
Famiglia
Macropixi@reddit
Also, see I’m hungry and hypo-gly-bitchy
Arleare13@reddit
Frankly that’s highly overstated to the point of dishonesty. If they were serious about that I wouldn’t be banned from three separate Outback locations.
CupBeEmpty@reddit
Yeah those fascists think it “unacceptable” to help in the kitchen and will “call the cops.”
They are not truly an anarchist establishment much to my dismay.
Arleare13@reddit
Personally I think it’s somewhat hypocritical to claim “no rules” while dictating “no shirt, no shoes, no service.”
WarrenMulaney@reddit
Or sticking your head under the beer taps
Arleare13@reddit
Or dusting cocaine on your Bloomin’ Onion.
CupBeEmpty@reddit
Oh that’s actually on the menu. It’s the appetizer called the Aussie Plunge.
CupBeEmpty@reddit
Seriously. Absolute jerks.
oliviamrow@reddit
Yeah, it's rude not to wait. Obviously if time drags you can ask, but most people will tell you to go ahead.
The etiquette also gets a little looser if there was an appetizer everyone ate off of (or is still eating off of) when entrées arrive.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
So I should eat a cold rare steak while waiting on your well done.
9for9@reddit
No your server should do their job and time your food properly. If you're server is doing that shit of a job calmly request the manager and complain.
oliviamrow@reddit
Well, I don't order steak well done, I'm a civilized person. My medium-rare is unlikely to come out much later than your rare.
And the counterpoint of waiting is "please, go ahead and eat." If my meal was late, I'd have already told you to eat. With both of us demonstrating we want the other to have a good meal, we'd move on with our happy little lives.
So it wouldn't come up with me in the first place.
If you dive in face-first before the rest of the table is served without anyone saying anything, no one sensible will kick you out or throw a fit. They'll clock it, and it'll be part of their impression of you along with whatever else you say or do. How much of an impact it has depends on how long/deep your relationship is with them. It's up to you to guess at the math and decide whether to do it or not.
But I promise etiquette isn't designed to torture you specifically. It's a series of habits and expectations cultures accumulate to demonstrate care and respect for the people they're socializing with.
More_Pineapple3585@reddit
well said
lks2drivefast@reddit
Let me guess, your friend got the blooming onion as an entree...
Let them devour it while it is still hot!
hntr20@reddit
Generally it is considered uncouth and or rude to eat before everyone else does.
blackhorse15A@reddit
I think there is a slight exception for a very large group. If you're at a restaurant with 20 people you don't typically wait for everyone to have their food and don't need to wait for a person at the very far end, 12 chairs over, to say "go ahead and start". In that case it's more normal to just wait for the people immediately around you. Even if the restaurant pushed a bunch of tables and created one giant table you are all sat at- if you're so far away you couldnt really have a conversation, you're effectively at different tables. (And if you're large group gets sat at different tables then you definitely are waiting on your whole table to be served and not waiting for the other tables- unless it's some special occasion where you know Grandpa Ted is giving a toast or leading grace)
HudsonYardsIsGood@reddit
Indeed there is a large-party exception; I've heard it as:
PlayingDoomOnAGPS@reddit
I'd say the real faux pas is the restaurant serving some of the table before all the dishes were ready. It shouldn't be in the diners to sort this out. The server should not be bringing some of the table's orders ahead of the others except for the duration of time it takes to make a second trip. If all the orders are not ready, they shouldn't start serving yet.
sammysbud@reddit
I personally wouldn't eat before everyone else is served. Even if someone said, "go ahead, eat!" I'd wait until their plates are served... unless its an egregious delay in service and my food is getting cold. I'd pick at it a bit, but not start eating until my friends also get their food.
jvc1011@reddit
100%
It’s polite to tell others to eat and polite to ignore the person telling you to eat.
Veronica612@reddit
Same. I might take a bite or two but I don’t really eat until everyone has their food.
drivernopassenger@reddit
Depends. If it’s a formal meal, yes, that’s an unignorable faux pas. If you’re at a friend’s house throwing leftovers together, that concern is nonexistent. Out to eat, clear it with the table if you’re really hungry but not everybody has their food.
Remarkable_Table_279@reddit
Yes. You wait until everyone is served. And if your food is delayed more than a couple minutes it’s polite to tell everyone to go ahead
TheSauceOx@reddit
Yeah.
Impressive_Sun_1132@reddit
Yes. But like unless its a super formal meal i wouldn't stress.
Nice_Point_9822@reddit
Yes
trustme1maDR@reddit
The formal etiquette is to wait if the food is cold and eat if the food is hot. Most people will wait either way, and then the person without food will say, "No no, go ahead and eat!"
The real issue is that you haven't been served your food at the same time, so the pressure is more on the restaurant to correct the situation than the guests at the table.
WritPositWrit@reddit
Yes
Lifestyle-Creeper@reddit
Yes, but if the food for the rest of the table is delayed, they should tell the person with food to go ahead and eat.
jane-generic@reddit
Depends on the food. We went to a pizza place. Other couple ordered personal pizza, Italian beef, and wings. My guy ordered a calzone and I got stromboli. It came out in this order: pizza and Italian beef. About 3 minutes later calzone. They were all eating. Still 10 minutes later no stromboli. They have 2 wood fire ovens and things get served as they come out. None of those foods are great cold so I wouldn't expect them to wait?
benz58@reddit
Yup. Common courtesy. If those without food say go ahead, you're in the clear.
wisemonkey101@reddit
Not really.
Arleare13@reddit
I’d say mildly rude, less so the less formal the setting.
In my experience normally the early-food-receivers will wait, and after a minute or two the late-food-getters will say “oh, you guys go ahead and eat, no need to wait.” Then it’s fine.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
I feel like it’s more rude to make someone let their $37 meal get cold because you are hurt hurt they will eat a few bites before you get your nice hot fresh meal
Remote_Ocelot9600@reddit
"I have mine, why would I suffer for others"
Sums up most of the social issues we face as a society.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
You’re still expected to have manners and respect formalities, if that’s the case at a sit-down dinner.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Why do we adhere to Victorian era manners? Just because somebody said that that is the manner that you must have? Why?
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
It’s about respect and etiquette, politeness. The core idea is that you’re having a sit-down meal, sharing space, food time and experience with someone, and etiquette helps keep that moment pleasant.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
You have not explained why THAT etiquette is the one that must be followed. Because someone in 1806 said so?
cut_ur_darn_grass@reddit
It's a social ritual. Serves a function beyond the actions. Same as small talk, doesn't accomplish anything other than "okay yeah we're cool and don't hate each other's guts"
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
OK, what exactly is the function of letting my food get cold specially at a restaurant, while someone else waits for their food
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
What exactly is your fckin problem, dude? Do you have an anxiety problem if you don’t start eating as soon as your plate arrives? No manners, tjey didn’t teach you, and you can’t see beyond the immediately obvious? There’s a potential solution for that too, besides you taking your meds: ask the server if they can bring your entrées together, at the same time. Think! — sequences and consequences. Use the most valuable asset to think through possibilities, that’s the only way forward, and probe logically.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Got it. If a server brings out my meal, but not everyone else’s. I will tell them to send mine back and remake it so that it can be hot when it comes back out. And that way the other person can sit and stare at their food instead, and they can eat the cold food because they had to wait for mine.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
No. Gosh, I have no patience to deal with children 😂. Y’all need to go back to your parents and complain because they didn’t teach you manners. And the world has no obligation to tolerate your lacking.
Back to the restaurant: Depends on how big is your table, how many people. Also, depending on the restaurant and how busy they are, they give you a heads up beforehand if the food will take a while and they bring everything together, or ask the table. But, let’s say it’s you and 2 or 3 more people only, table of 4. And you haven’t ordered yet, no one has. You can ask the server to bring everything together, so that you all can start eating together if possible.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
lol I’m not prefacing every meal I go out to with instructions to a server to bring the food out all at once. That’s the standard default and they will only bring it out in pieces if there is a problem. And if there is a problem I don’t want my food sitting in the window while they remake someone else’s.
You need to get over the world not revolving around you and not get butthurt if your friend gets 5 bits of their meal in before you get your food.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Not I, in fact, I always tell them to start if I’m the one waiting for my order. It’s easy to spot when someone has no manners, or is anxious and can’t wait. But they won’t catch me again to share a meal anytime soon.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
I don’t need your permission to eat. How is it polite to require everyone to do exactly what you say when you say it? Again. The world doesn’t revolve around you. The people you go eat with aren’t your subservient whom you give permission to eat or not.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Why are you taking it so defensively? Even if they never taught you, there are table manners and you’re just choosing to ignore them, consciously. It’s your problem, dude, I’m not dictating your behavior but you are. What are you, 2yrs old who doesn’t know better? No need to answer. To each their own.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
You absolutely are. You’re applying arbitrary outdated traditions to your rules and judging people who don’t adhere to the standards that you can’t defender any further than “because that’s how it’s done.”
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Are you a door? You seem to be. I’m slamming you shut.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
That’s dumb.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
You truly are, at least you recognize it.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Read the first phrase of my answer.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
So because someone in the 1800s decided that that is a metric of respect, we still have to do it hundreds of years later?
rubiscoisrad@reddit
Wearing appropriate clothing is deemed a metric of situational respect for others, as is the volume of your voice, and the language you choose to use. Wouldn't you agree?
And eating my meal while everyone else watches me eat and/or eyeballs the waitstaff is just not enjoyable - in which case, why have a nice night out to begin with? I can be uncomfortable in lots of places without paying $50.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
That’s not you waiting because it makes them uncomfortable or is “polite”. That’s you not eating because you don’t like how it makes YOU feel.
I’d argue that some clothing norms are ridiculous also and have changed as well from what was considered proper or polite.
Noise level is something that directly affects those around you so I think that’s a different category.
rubiscoisrad@reddit
I would argue that the reverse is true as well. Beginning to eat while others sit and watch you may well make them feel uncomfortable.
But I can see this argument isn't going anywhere, so I'll leave you to your opinion.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Being uncomfortable isn’t bad. It’s part of life. You shouldn’t force others to be uncomfortable because you can’t handle it yourself.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Besides that, you’d need to immerse yourself in European cultures to learn that mealtime is not just about the food, but rather, it’s about the shared experience.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
So the shared experience requires that everybody begins eating at these precise same time? Regardless of if anybody’s food is going bad while they wait?
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
But in this instance “suffering for others” serves absolutely no purpose other than performance.
It doesn’t make the other person get their food faster, it doesn’t make the other person’s food taste better, it doesn’t make the other person’s food hotter.
All it does is make your food colder for no reason
pawsplay36@reddit
It shows that you will enjoy your food more if everyone has food.
KindraTheElfOrc@reddit
bs waiting isnt gunna magically make my food taste better
pawsplay36@reddit
It's not "bs," you are just revealing who you are.
KindraTheElfOrc@reddit
no YOU are, you are the selfish kind of person that demands others inconvenience themselves just so you can have every single second of inclusion you can
PepperAgitated5037@reddit
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
I wonder what they consider the protocol to be for somebody who might eat a little faster than other people. Do they intentionally slow down their eating so they do not finish a minute or two before anyone else at the table?
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
I am someone who enjoys hot food. No chance I’m letting my insanely overpriced food get gross and cold.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
False. I will not enjoy my cold food just because you are also eating. I will throw away my cold food instead of eating it.
pawsplay36@reddit
I don't doubt you, I'm judging you.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Well, good thing I would never eat with you
pawsplay36@reddit
Read that back to yourself.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
I have to eat cold food in order for you to feel comfortable being in my presence.
You have no food while I’m eating does not ruin anything. It does not make anybody’s food go bad does not waste any money.
imalittlefrenchpress@reddit
I don’t enjoy my food more or less if everyone has food, that makes no sense to me. I enjoy the food if I like how it tastes.
I enjoy the company if I like the people I’m with, regardless if someone is eating. I’ve sat with someone in a restaurant having a beverage while they ate, because I wasn’t hungry but I enjoyed their company.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Food is not just food, sharing a meal is sharing experiences/life, it’s mutual enjoyment.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Except for the person who has to eat cold food. That they probably paid $40 for. Fuck that person’s enjoyment, as long as you don’t have to watch someone else eat.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
If you chew like a cow, mouth opening, I definitely wouldn’t want to watch you eating.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
How is that comment relevant at all? We are talking about sitting and letting your food go back because the person you are with is selfish.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
I wouldn’t be with such person.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Ok? And? Not relevant to this conversation
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
You asked, I answered.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
So it’s not relevant. In any way.
safarifriendliness@reddit
There’s something to be said for the “No reason we both gotta die” mentality in the right situation
MisinformedGenius@reddit
Seems like it cuts both ways. “If I’m not happy nobody should be happy.”
9for9@reddit
If it's more than a few seconds i.e. the serving bringing them separately because they couldn't carry everything they aren't doing their job properly and it may be time to complain. If that particular restaurant is always like that stop going there.
pawsplay36@reddit
oh no the special boy's dinner got cold
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Why should anybody’s food have to be eaten cold? And why would you want someone with you to have to eat cold food simply to wait for you? Why does the world revolve around you?
-Minne@reddit
If you get your food first at a White House banquet, just start eating; McDonald's fries don't get better with age.
TillikumWasFramed@reddit
But what if they've skipped fries and gone full burgers and Chicken McNuggets, due to the significance of the occasion?
Lovebeingadad54321@reddit
Truer words have never been spoken. Hot, fresh McDonald’s fries are awesome!! Cold, limp McDonald’s fries are practically inedible, And nothing can be done to reheat them properly. The hamnburder can be eaten cold with practically no difference. The cofevee is also best served hot.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
And all that grease straight up clogging your arteries 😂
Lovebeingadad54321@reddit
I like just a bit of blood in my cholesterol stream.
BetterCranberry7602@reddit
Been to any White House dinners or do you just feel the need to inject your idiotic politics in any conversations you can?
imalittlefrenchpress@reddit
A White House Dinner
rubiscoisrad@reddit
Y'know, I've seen the picture, but never had I read the actual article. I appreciate how diplomatic the journalist was in their phrasing.
itcheyness@reddit
Lol!
Look at how triggered this snowflake is!
Poroto_Verde@reddit
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😆🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
concretecrown85@reddit
I feel quite the opposite. I think it’s rude to have someone look at their food get cold and can’t eat it unless I give them permission.
Doesn’t make much sense to me. Not sure why everyone needs to start eating food all at the same time. Please explain the origins of this tradition.
CouldBNE1too@reddit
Agree, but it really irks me that most restaurants can’t get this right and just serve everyone at the table at the same time. (Yes, I’ve also worked as kitchen manager and chef-)
pawsplay36@reddit
but it has to be a majority, not just one of the not food havers.
Arleare13@reddit
Or someone with authority, e.g. the host (if at someone’s house), the celebrant (if at something like a birthday dinner), etc.
Neither_Internal_261@reddit
I wait for everyone to get their food before I start eating whenever I go out to eat with coworkers. One coworker thinks it's weird that I do and always tells me to just start eating. I think the "good manners" way to do it is just to wait and defer to the person that has yet to receive their food.
TillikumWasFramed@reddit
Yes, unless they say to go ahead and eat. BUT THEN, if you are sitting there forever with your food and they haven't gotten theirs and they haven't said it's okay if you go ahead and eat, THEY are rude. At that point you are allowed to say, "Well, I'm eating," and just starat.
Fanmann@reddit
Yup, my Italian mother would smack me in the head if I began eating before everyone had their food. (We're talking NYC here)
PepperAgitated5037@reddit
It’s old fashioned and thankfully being increasingly seen as passé but yeah. I think it’s more rude to let someone else’s food get cold at a restaurant because you’re bitter that your meal hasn’t come yet instead of the other person/people just being allowed to and expected to go ahead and eat
fruitstripezebra@reddit
I have a brother who is fifteen years older than me and married to a British woman. At their wedding in England, I was the youngest person there (I was 15 at the time). Because there was no one else my age, they sat me at the main table with them, my parents, and the bride’s parents. When dinner was being served, they put a plate in front of me first. A few minutes went by, and no other plates were served. It had been a very long day, and I was jet lagged, so I started tasting my mashed potatoes a little bit at a time. My parents noticed and told me to start eating. In our culture it’s like “she’s obviously a kid, she should go ahead and eat instead of just sitting there with the food in front of her”. But I will never forget the stares of my SIL’s parents watching me eat my dinner like I was committing murder. The level of contempt for me not waiting for everyone else to get their plate was unmistakable. I felt judged very harshly for something I had very little control over. Long story short, in America, we generally wait for the table to be served, but we’re not so serious about it that it’s a rule that can never be broken (especially by a child who is in a foreign country and hasn’t eaten all day).
Pretty-Biscotti-5256@reddit
I read in a Miss Manners column long ago that if the food is hot, you don’t have to wait, which makes sense. Some still do wait, but who wants to eat cold chicken piccata.
MaewintheLascerator@reddit
I think about this one all the time. If you are served first it is rude to start. But if you are served hot food, it's rude if someone who is waiting doesn't tell you to go ahead and start.
frzferdinand72@reddit
Depends on the formality of the restaurant, but generally yes, you should wait, but at the same time, if you’re the last one waiting for food, you should tell everyone to go ahead and eat.
cmcglinchy@reddit
A general rule that I’ve known of is that if the food served is hot, go ahead and eat it - if the food served is cold, wait until all are served.
WalWal-ah@reddit
Per Emily and Peggy Post, who wrote books on etiquette, if at least two people have their food, then those with food can and should start eating.
No one seems to know this etiquette however, and as per the responses on this post, people will sit there while their food gets cold waiting for someone without food gives permission or insist they eat. If you are visiting from another country, best bet is to watch what others in your group are doing if the rest of the group are Americans.
In a home, you wait until the host picks up their fork.
Mysterious-Mango4936@reddit
Depends on occasion. If it’s in front of people I don’t really know then yes, it can be. But my friends and family we don’t care nor ask. Some of my friends are so close we just open each others fridge
strongly-worded@reddit
Generally yes but if someone says “go ahead, eat!” then you’re fine. I have one aunt who gets seriously mad if you wait
MonkeyBoySF@reddit
I always offer to share with the person that says “go ahead”. It always feels a little weird eating before the other party’s food arrives.
Cold_Mission101@reddit
That's a great compromise that I hadn't thought of
Cold_Mission101@reddit
When the others say, "Go ahead and eat," I push my food around on my plate while continuing to engage in conversations with everyone else. I don't actually eat until everyone else gets their food.
Pulp501@reddit
No
WiseQuarter3250@reddit
it depends. America is a vast mix of cultures, and the food we eat is too. who we eat with, is it a casual or formal meal, where are we eating, what type of food is it... all these things impact the outcome.
In some restaurants food is eaten as it is delivered to you. (especially in certain types of Asian eateries). In others, the restaurant coordinates so it all comes out together. Because it can go either way, and not knowing what the expectation is at some restaurants if I did not have food yet, but the person I was dining with did, I would encourage them to start eating while their food is hot.
When eating a meal at home with guests joining you, typically you wait to eat together for polite, formal manners. But if it is a mre casual meal, everyone can be eating differently (you see this lot with breakfast as kids, and parents my have different schedules).
canisdirusarctos@reddit
Yes.
External_Agency_4488@reddit
yes. wait till everyone is served. They may tell you not to wait, in which case it is ok to eat.
SrWaterdoggy@reddit
30 years ago, yes. Today? Not so much.
Impossible-Memory750@reddit
I wait because I was taught that growing up. My MIL always dove right in without a care.
BrotherNatureNOLA@reddit
Not anymore. If your food is going to get cold, it's senseless to wait on anything. If Temperature or sogginess would not be an issue, then one should wait for everyone.
10thousndreflections@reddit
It reflects bad on the restaurant more than anything to me. Hold that shit. Don't make your customers uncomfortable.
ThrowRA_whatstheword@reddit
Depends on the region and how casual the setting is. I've seen people with family or friends in a casual setting just start eating. I'm from the Midwest with more of a southern leaning family culturally so there was a lot of emphasis on politeness in group settings in my upbringing. So I always wait for everyone to have their food because it just feels most polite to me. But if someone else started eating I'm not going to like judge them or anything. I'd just think maybe they are really hungry or something lol!
Unable_Long4053@reddit
Absolutely it's rude! But very typically, once the majority of diners at the table have received their entree.....one of those still awaiting food will say something along the lines of "go ahead and eat...don't wait for me....your food will get cold". At that point, I would say it's ok to dive in to your entree.
OJ_did_it_2025@reddit
It’s considered taboo but it’s really not that deep. However, never do it at a business or work dinner.
Friendly_Artist4459@reddit
Nah, we don’t want other peoples food to get cold while we are waiting for ours to come
No_Inflation_5480@reddit
Yes, except for children or anyone who might need to eat quickly for medical reasons of course (pregnant, diabetic, etc). We even wait for everyone during family dinners at home, but especially at fancy restaurants. The exception would be if the person/people waiting insisted on everyone else eating. Many people feel uncomfortable being waited on and I think it’s appropriate to respect their wishes.
ObligatoryAnxiety@reddit
I've never been pregnant or diabetic, but at home with just me and my husband I wait for him like a pig waits for dinner. Usually, it is because I give him plenty of warning for dinner time, like ballpark times for it being ready, then 20, 10, 5 minute, ready notices, and he'll still sometimes come in from outside/shop/basement like 20 minutes after dinner is ready to eat. The rule is: I'll be responsible for cooking dinner, but I'm not gonna be responsible if your dinner is cold because you didn't come when the dinner bell rang. He has absolutely agreed to this rule. This rule extends to all family members unless I've gone to the trouble to fully set the table, like for Christmas Dinner or a Birthday dinner.
No_Inflation_5480@reddit
Yeah I was thinking like if grandparents are over or Sunday dinner type of deal. Not so much for casual everyday meals
ObligatoryAnxiety@reddit
Lol, I am the grandparent now! Kinda skipped a step, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Growing up, we all knew when dinner time was and if you missed it, you get to eat the leftovers from the fridge. Again, exceptions for formal meals and those were always communicated well in advance that we would be clean, properly dressed, and in our seats at the appropriate time.
Calguy21@reddit
Yes
randomwellwisher@reddit
Yes. But if you’re polite and haven’t been served yet, you will ask/encourage the other person/people to eat.
GodsGoodGrace@reddit
Generally yes, but the non-receiver can override
gato-afortunado@reddit
In my older generation it was strictly unacceptable to eat until everyone had food in front of them. These days I still loosely follow this.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Even in my house, growing up, everyone would wait for whoever was still serving themselves before the others started to eat — no prayers, lol, we were definitely brought up with good table manners.
Derwin0@reddit
Yes
valdetero@reddit
Wait for over half to be delivered to start.
BigRichard1990@reddit
Yes, it shows a lack of fraternite.
mostlygray@reddit
In formal dining, wait. If you're at a local cafe, no-one cares.
JWOLFBEARD@reddit
Sometimes
DankBlunderwood@reddit
Personally, I don't feel comfortable eating until everyone is served, but occasionally I have been the one waiting on my plate and noticed that everyone just started grubbing down, so apparently it's not really a rule of etiquette.
Designer-Travel4785@reddit
For some reason it is. If you get your food before mine, you damn well better start eating it. Don't let that shit get cold!
bcuket@reddit
it just depends on who you are with tbh. i dont think its a big deal at a restaurant, but if someone is cooking at the house its more polite to wait until the food is officially ready
Yadadamean510@reddit
I’m eating at soon as my plate hits the table idc
confusedrabbit247@reddit
Depends on the circumstance. I always like to wait but especially with family people are like "it's fine go ahead."
itsmebrian@reddit
Having lived in Europe for a long time, this is an interesting question. Most restaurants pride themselves on serving all meals at the table at the same time. Because the remaining meals are less than a minute behind, waiting is usually appropriate. This is less the case, especially 20 year ago, in Germany. Meals would come out as they were ready and it was expected that you would eat as soon as you received it.
Kennbo6666@reddit
I was taught one should refrain from eating until all were served. I was, however, privileged to have had a private school education where social grace was taught and expected to be practiced. I have encountered instances where such social graces were not exhibited or appreciated by others.
BeastyBaiter@reddit
Yes.
FriendWinter9674@reddit
Most places I've been to will wait until everyone's food is ready before they bring it out. Unless there is a major problem, like needing to remake one person's meal.
The few times I've been somewhere that brings them out separately, nobody seemed to care.
BurritoBowlw_guac@reddit
Growing up around a family dinner table every night, it was rude to start eating before everyone was seated at the table
Realk314@reddit
in a restaurant the ones i've been involved with. While being the expo/QA person. You were not allowed to send it unless like 75% of the tables orders were complete.
purplepeopleeater333@reddit
If it’s six or more people there is no expectation to wait. However, the people without their food should always tell those with food to eat before it gets cold.
ancientastronaut2@reddit
Traditionally yes, or at least wait for the other/s to say it's ok for you to start. But I don't think it's as common as it used to be with the younger generations.
WellWellWellthennow@reddit
Yes. Generally, you would pause and wait and then if they say oh, don't wait for me go ahead then it's fine.
If it's a short delay, they probably wouldn't say this and you'll just wait. But if it's going to be longer delay that the waiter tells you about then they would typically be gracious and say please, go ahead and eat it while it's warm!
But honestly, any good restaurant would not serve people at the table separately, but they would wait to serve until all of the dishes are ready and it's up to their job to keep it warm in the kitchen, unless you specifically tell them not to and to bring it as soon as it's ready, and under those circumstances, everyone would expect each person to eat it when it's served.
eltigretom@reddit
In my circles no. I think it probably varies on how you grew up, where, and culture.
DMfortinyplayers@reddit
If you are dining in someone's home, yes. You wait until the host(s) are seated. It would be rude to start while they are still plating etc.
A restaurant is supposed to bring the food at the same time. Generally it's expected to wait until everyone has been served, but if one dish is taking noticeably longer, or if the server tells you X dish is running late, then the person who ordered it is expected to say, "everyone go ahead and eat, don't wait up!"
okeverythingsok@reddit
I was at a dinner party last weekend with about 10 guests and I was the only one who waited for the host to sit down before eating! I couldn’t believe it. She acted like she didn’t notice, so maybe she didn’t… but if it were me I would have been a little annoyed…
HVan8122@reddit
When my uncle died, we had the bereavement dinner thing and this family we barely knew, showed up first to the bereavement and started grabbing a plate, with a literal mountain of food, before my poor aunt could even walk in.
My ex-husband's family brought containers to our wedding. That was a sight. My wealthy family clutched their pearls at that one.
just-curious-2@reddit
As a host, I hate when people do that! All the effort to prepare and then by the time you get everyone’s last requests for special condiments some people are halfway done.
Illustrious-Shirt569@reddit
Or are asking for seconds before you’ve even had a chance to sit down.
InevitableRhubarb232@reddit
Meh. Why are we withholding Victorian era rules of formality which actually just make the food that the host worked hard on get cold before we can enjoy it? Wouldn’t the host rather the food be eaten at peak quality? We aren’t having staff serve 7 course meals around a table where it matters a little more when people start or stop eating.
draizetrain@reddit
Yeah whatever happened to apps out first, entrees timed to go out together? Unless I’m at a nice restaurant it seems like nobody cares. Even a lot of the nice ones just do whatever. The dining experience is not what it used to be
Opposite_Studio_7548@reddit
Actually, no, the person who's dish is running late is not expected to say anything that would be construed as permission for other's to eat before them.
OpeningChipmunk1700@reddit
What?
blisstaker@reddit
this is the best answer as far down as i scrolled
i would only point out that other formal occasions, regardless of location may (or likely) also follow that someone's home rule
Tristawn@reddit
It's mildly rude, depending on how well everyone knows everyone. If it's very close friends and/or immediate family, most circles wouldn't find it rude at all.
freebiscuit2002@reddit
People usually wait, but if your companion tells you to go ahead and eat, you go ahead.
PaintingNouns@reddit
Depends. Casual fast type food, no. It all comes out whenever. Buffet style family dinner? No. Fancy restaurant, yes.
Lost_Figure_5892@reddit
In my family of origin you wouldn’t dare. But my chosen family now, please eat while your meal is hot! We are enjoying time together so eat up when your meal comes.
sean8877@reddit
Depends if it's a formal dinner or just hanging out with friends. I don't think me or any of my friends will wait for other people to be served before eating, we just start shoveling food when it's put in front of us.
o_simple_thing@reddit
If we're eating out and my mother is at the table and she hasn't gotten her food yet I will fight you if you try to eat before her. How dare you.
Anyone else is fair game.
Rick-20121@reddit
Ms Manners would expect me to wait.
Why should I wait until my food is cold because you ordered something that takes longer to prepare?
New_Part91@reddit
The thing in America is that not all people were taught the same manners. I was taught that it is definitely wrong to start eating until everyone is seated at the table and the hostess gives the signal.
Duque_de_Osuna@reddit
Yeah, generally, but a lot of people do it anyway. The exception is little kids, they are not waiting for anything and people get that.
beccabootie@reddit
Oh my goodness. It was a major CRIME for anyone in our family to start eating before others. A meeting with anger and recriminations and accusations of being a heathen. NO NO NO eating before all others are served. Major punishments threatened. I am not making this up.
duckfruits@reddit
Yes. But often times the people waiting for their food will tell you to "go ahead and eat" and it's typically not rude to eat once this is said.
radicalresting@reddit
not in this american’s opinion. i always tell people to eat because i feel it is more rude to expect people to eat cold food because they are waiting for you
draizetrain@reddit
Yes it’s poor manners to eat before everyone has the food, and it’s also poor manners to eat before your host. Most people don’t know or care about etiquette anymore though.
slpybeartx@reddit
I’m not sure if it is or not, but I was raised with manners to wait on others first.
That’s why drinks before dinner are there.
toddismygodd@reddit
I didn’t even know this was I thing 😭 my family just eats when their food comes
BuildNuyTheUrbanGuy@reddit
Fuck no I'm eating they can be mad if they want to.
WhompTrucker@reddit
Kind of. It's polite to wait usual but if you are starving, it's ok to ask. And usually we will tell others 'not to wait for me' if our food is taking a while
secrerofficeninja@reddit
Yes
chodan9@reddit
If everyone gets their food before me and act like they want to start eating it tell them “go ahead and start eating I don’t mind”.
Froggirl26@reddit
Yes
SeoT9X@reddit
I was always taught that it was rude. Even if the person waiting says to go ahead and eat (also the right thing to do) I’ll still wait
No-Contact-677@reddit
It’s considered rude to let another person watch their food get cold while the other person waits for a hot meal to be served to them.
Texan2116@reddit
Meh, this is 'Murica....you eat your food first, and then take theirs if they are not swift in eating.
dglawyer@reddit
Yes. I always wait, and then someone who hasn’t received their food tells me to go ahead because it’s getting cold, and then I say no it’s fine, and I wait and eventually we all eat together. It’s rude not to wait, and I hate eating when others around me aren’t eating.
Ok_Buy_9703@reddit
I think it is rude at a fancy dinner with wait staff bringing out plated food to not wait until everyone is served.
SpreadsheetSiren@reddit
Usually the ones waiting for food will tell the others to start “while the food is hot.”
DelkrisGames@reddit
Generally yes, it is rude.
Out_of_ughs@reddit
So, there’s common courtesy: yes, you should wait unless they say to start.
Actual etiquette: you wait for the last person to get their plate, unless there is over 6 people and then you are able to start beforehand. And you always wait for the host to sit down.
observantpariah@reddit
Officially, yes.... Practically, it might not matter.
I eat so fast, I want everyone else to get a head start.
Comprehensive-Tea-69@reddit
If it’s hot food, the people who haven’t received their food should insist you eat so that your food doesn’t get cold. The manners part here is actually on the late food receivers
getElephantById@reddit
At a restaurant, you're supposed to play a little game where one of the people who hasn't gotten their food notices that nobody is eating, and says "oh, don't wait!"
If everyone with a plate in front of them is chivalrous, they'll continue to wait. Often there is one hungry person who will start eating, and then the dam has burst and the others will join in in support.
But I think it's all very low stakes, nobody would judge you too harshly if you just started eating when your meal came. Personally I would be happy about the informality.
Piney1943@reddit
Yes, it is.
DubiousSpaniel@reddit
Yes, only a boor would begin earring before table mates have been served.
Cute-Government-5920@reddit
At a restaurant, It is improper. If I am at home sitting with a plate of food and my wife or child have to finish a text, suddenly have to use the restroom, save a video game, or any other bull butter, I am eating without them.
RevolutionaryWeek573@reddit
Years ago I read that the etiquette is that it’s polite to eat before everyone is served if your food is hot, but not if it’s cold.
So if your salad shows up before your friend’s hamburger, you should wait. If your hamburger showed up before their salad, you should eat.
Reasonable_Mood_5260@reddit
Very rude in a traditional family setting. You have to wait for everyone to be served and sitting down, then the man of the says everyone can eat, usually after a prayer. But since the invention of the microwave it makes more sense to eat when the food is s hot
MMMetty@reddit
I genuinely wonder where some of you are from or if it is that different by region. I live in the Midwest and have almost never been out to eat and had anyone ever care if you just started eating. I have never seen this at nicer restaurants or, as the OP said in a comment, a place like Outback Steakhouse.
Poroto_Verde@reddit
My personal opinion- yes. But I was raised in a house where nobody age til everyone was seated. Restaurant-wise, if you received a soup or salad as part of your meal before others got their meal that didnt include those items, no, not really. Or unless someone says to go ahead and eat.
pdperson@reddit
If three of eight people have been served, it’s proper etiquette to start eating but not everyone knows this rule.
Fappy_as_a_Clam@reddit
I've always brushed this rule aside, much to my mothers dismay.
I'm not letting my food get cold while the kitchen staff sorts out their fuck up, I'm eating, everyone else will be ok.
azyoungblood@reddit
In a restaurant, if it’s a hot dish, it’s acceptable to go ahead and eat. If a cold dish, it’s polite to wait.
Greedy_Pomegranate14@reddit
Yeah pretty much. The exception would be if some people got salads/appetizers and other people only ordered the main course.
Restaurants usually bring out everyone’s food at once so it’s not something you have to think about very often.
GenericUsername19892@reddit
Kinda yeah, but like exasperated eye roll type rude, not really offensive. Typically though if you don’t have your food yet you just tell people to eat before their’s gets cold.
FeignSkill@reddit
Maybe but I would have probably attempted to eat and then leave before they even got their food.
ExperienceStrange407@reddit
In my family at formal gatherings, such as Thanksgiving, a big Yes.
4MuddyPaws@reddit
This will depend a lot on the group you're with and what kind of food is being served. But it's always rude to just start digging in before others are served or they tell you it's okay to start without them.
If your meal is cold, like a salad or sandwich, you should wait. It won't hurt you to wait a few minutes.
If your meal is a hot one, your companions should tell you to go ahead and start so your meal doesn't get cold. If they don't, then you can ask and say you don't want to eat a cold stew or whatever.
Weary_Capital_1379@reddit
Generally you wait until everyone is served. Frequently someone may say go ahead don’t wait.
Toriat5144@reddit
Yes but many will tell their companions to go ahead.
Glass_Author7276@reddit
Depends on the food. If waiting will deminish the taste of the food, I will apologize for eating before others. If it doesn't matter, I'll wait.
somecow@reddit
Timing everything SUUUUUCKS. Look, if someone orders a complicated order, or a well done steak, it’s gonna take longer.
Takes all of maybe ten seconds to throw a salad together, that’s gonna come out first.
Thanksgiving especially, “oh, we’re waiting on two people to get here before we can eat” wtf we all knew what time and day it is (and was well before), food is getting cold, I’m eating.
Hot_Meringue_2827@reddit
Why would this be rude? You eat your food while it's warm
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Manners, respect and consideration.
Hot_Meringue_2827@reddit
The only thing you need to do at a table is bless the food before you eat it if you're religious. Why would someone sit there and let the food get cold?
Dependent_Parsnip556@reddit
Depends on who I’m with and the event tbh. If out with friends causally no. If I’m out with say maybe my in-laws or older family members then probably yes. But I just think it’s situational
Specialist_Stop8572@reddit
No
Linesey@reddit
Yes, however the correct etiquette is to not eat until everyone’s food is there or until those without food say to go ahead. and conversely it is also good etiquette if you are the one waiting to say “Don’t wait on me, go ahead!” especially if the wait is more than a minute or two.
AwkwardSpicy77@reddit
Yes, it's rude. If you're at a restaurant they should be bringing everyone's food at the same time or the time it takes to make two trips to your table. If your meal takes longer than that then it's a weird situation where the restaurant is doing a very bad job and should at least be telling you why yours hasn't arrived yet. At that point I'd probably tell everyone else to go ahead and start without me while I was very upset inside because it takes me a long time to eat so now it's going to be even more awkward when everyone is done and has to sit there watching me finish my meal, which is just the worst. But yes, it's not polite at all to just start eating the second your plate arrives without looking to see if others in your party have their food, too.
Weary_Anybody3643@reddit
I would definitely say it depends yeah it's genuinely common courtesy but if it's informal event or everyone was starving no one is gonna fight over eating early but it's normal to wait
misagale@reddit
Yes
SevereAnimator5@reddit
Yes your parents didnt teach you this
Listen2theyetti@reddit
Depends on who you are with, where you are at and what the meal is.
10th_Patriot_Down@reddit
The culture is changing. Especially with younger generations. At least most of Gen Z (roughly 18-30) I've interacted with don't care and eat when the food is served.
Moof_the_cyclist@reddit
Old guidance was 8 or fewer and you wait for everyone to get their food, more than that and you should not wait.
I’ve always liked this, as once you get that big of a crowd it becomes burdensome on the hosts/kitchen to serve everyone quickly enough for the food to stay warm.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Usually, when servers see a very large group, they let the table know that not everyone will get served at the same time. And that can be considered good service, not poor etiquette.
Novel_Mycologist_119@reddit
This is why more restaurants should bring out bread before a meal
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
That’s another interesting thing. Before Covid we had complimentary breads galore, and now we have to ask for bread before they serve it — unless we’re at The Cheesecake Factory, all that not-gluten free deliciousness’ still there though 😂
Inside-Try-394@reddit
Sometimes. It’s polite to wait, but not all people do. If you are offended by other people who mean you no harm it means you are stupid in addition to being overly sensitive.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
It’s not about being offended if you don’t wait before start eating. It’s about noticing that you are rude. Personally, if I didn’t get served at the same time I’d tell you to please start eating. But if it were the other way around I’d wait for you to get served before I started to eat.
Maxorus73@reddit
If I'm with people I don't know well, I'll wait until they get their food. But if it's with friends and family, I'm eatin as soon as it arrives
Mystersy@reddit
If it’s hot food, I’ll usually tell my company to go ahead. I also feel nobody should wait when six or more people are eating together.
SlayerByProxy@reddit
When 50% or more of the table have been served, the host/hostess says it is okay, or the food is hot, like soup, then you may slowly go ahead and start.
Darth_Lacey@reddit
It’s more of a faux pas for the restaurant to have a significant delay in food delivery. For entrees it’s common practice for a party to be served together, even if they’re paying separately. Appetizers play a bit more loosely, but there’s all sorts of drama in tables where appetizers are purchased individually and the table is divided about if they’re to be eaten communally
BookLuvr7@reddit
It's polite to wait unless told it's okay to go ahead.
evergreengoth@reddit
Yes, but it can depend on the context and sometimes if you're with people you're close to, they'll tell you to just go ahead and eat.
obviousthrowaway038@reddit
When im with others whomever gets it first waits. If at least one other person gets their food then they can start digging in. If after say ten minutes passes and no one gets anything other than the first person, they start eating. Then we have a reason to complain if the food comes late "see this person already finished their food and we havent even gotten our meals yet".
Ziegelmarkt@reddit
It’s etiquette 101, but those are lessons taught for formal dining. Majority of people I dine with still adhere to these norms unless there is a delay for the last (few) person(s) and they tell the rest of the table “it’s ok, go ahead”.
jaytrainer0@reddit
Quick note since I haven't seen anyone say it. America is a melting pot of cultures and there are no hard universal rules. There's certain things that are common within regions or cities or parts of cities, but even that won't be universal
mickeymouse4348@reddit
I've heard that hot food is ok to dig in, cold food it's polite to wait. But if someone says don't wait then it's fine
Senpai2Savage@reddit
Nah no one cares.
K_Linkmaster@reddit
It's rude but I like hot food. I'm an adult and I'm going to eat my hot food hot. It's rude to eat in front of others? I'm not eating cold food, so now none of us are eating?
It's dumb. Eat your food. Use the good china every day til it's all broken. Fuck the old stupid rules.
capsrock02@reddit
Sometimes
Efficient-Panic3506@reddit
t’s basically a polite standoff lol
everyone with food waits a bit, everyone without food tells them to start, and then after like 30 seconds someone finally takes a bite and the spell is broken
JaimanV2@reddit
Not in my family.
ssk7882@reddit
In such situations, it's customary and expected for the people who don't have their food yet to urge those who have been served to go ahead and start eating. "No, go ahead, please enjoy your food! It will get cold otherwise!" It's then expected that the people who have been served will 'reluctantly' agree and start eating.
This is our way of recognizing that while technically yes, it is rude to start eating before everyone is served, we still think that it would be unfair to make the people who got their food first in situations like the one you describe wait. So everyone gives them permission to ignore the etiquette rule.
Relevant-Emu5782@reddit
Yes it is. It is one of my particular manners quirks that I silently judge people about. My mom would do this; my mom was a thoughtless asshole.
vftgurl123@reddit
it is rude, yeah but usually the person without the food says “omg please eat dont feel bad” and if they don’t do that i find it feels awkward until everyone gets food
Letterheadless9886@reddit
Yes absolutely
gioraffe32@reddit
Yes? But not super rude. And also, this isn't widely observed, at least in my experience. Like I didn't grow up with this rule (my parents were immigrants). And none of my friends growing up really adhered to this either. Didn't matter if their families had been in the US for a long time or not.
But one place I worked at for a long time, the group mostly observed that. And that's where I first encountered this "rule." So if we went out for a meal, I learned to wait.
But anywhere else I've worked, like if we go out to lunch or dinner, people just dig in. Few to no one waits.
I've spent most of my life in the Midwest; now live in the DC area. And again, my experience has been this "rule" isn't that widespread.
rutherfraud1876@reddit
Eat the hot food now, wait if it's cold
Cat_the_Great@reddit
6+ at a hot meal permissible to start. Less, wait. Cold meal of any size wait until all served (in us)
JulesInIllinois@reddit
Yes, it is considered rude here. Although, usually the ppl without food will tell you to go ahead and start. So, it's not normally an issue.
stealingtruth@reddit
A
SassyGirl0202@reddit
Was raised to wait until everyone had food to eat and still follow that today.
I_bleed_blue19@reddit
I get so sick of having friends and their kids over for dinner and they're getting seconds before I have even taken my first bite.
Like, come on. You can't wait for me to even sit down at the table? Especially when you've asked me to go get some condiment or something?
Jfc. You're not gonna starve.
Price-x-Field@reddit
It’s just not fun to sit there while someone else eats and vice versa.
Big-Dig-Pig@reddit
Apparently I’m rude because I think that people should just eat when they have their food in front of them.
Lilylake_55@reddit
Yes, for the most part.
At home or at someone else’s house it is definitely rude to start before everyone has their food.
But at restaurants with family, friends, or coworkers. If you order a hot dish and it comes out first, and it is taking a lot more time for the other peoples’ food to be brought out, you will be told by the rest of the group to go ahead and start while your food is still hot.
cool_weed_dad@reddit
Mildly, but if one person’s food is taking longer they’d usually tell everyone else to start eating and not wait for them.
Footnotegirl1@reddit
Yes-ish.
If, say, you are out to dinner and the waiter is putting down plates, and you start eating your food before everyone has their plate, that would be rude.
If on the other hand, the situation is that half of the food is ready and has been brought out, but the rest of the food will be a few minutes, you would not be looked at as completely classless if you took a bite or two.
finnbee2@reddit
If you are eating at someone's house then wait until everyone is served. If you are at a restaurant, you start eating when you get your food. There's no point in waiting for the others and ending up with cold food.
Tall-Committee-2995@reddit
It’s rude not to offer them some of your hot fries.
No_Importance_750@reddit
More like it’s considered polite to wait but if you start eating most likely nobody is going to give you shit for it. However, if you are in a religious household that does prayers before eating then it’s rude to start eating before prayer.
CustomerSecure9417@reddit
Yes. Unfortunately many people here grew up in a barn and have no manners.
mmohaje@reddit
If it's a cold meal, you wait even if others offer for you to start.
If it's a hot meal I wait for someone to tel, me to start, but if it's taking too long (usually b/c people aren't paying attention) and no one offers, I will pipe up and say 'I'm so sorry, would you mind if I start, it's getting cold' and always people say 'of course yes'.
1stPeter3-15@reddit
Generally, yes. But typically the person waiting will say to everyone else to go ahead.
RaymondLuxuryYacht@reddit
Yes, but it depends on how many people are at the table. I think it’s 6 people? If there’s more than that you can eat as the food arrives, if it’s less you are supposed to wait unless someone tells you to eat.
Aggravating-Kick-967@reddit
If everyone isn’t served within a minute or two there are real problems in the kitchen. But generally, we wait.
justforme31@reddit
Depends on your family. Some families wait; others don’t. I usually just follow the lead of the older people in the group or boss if at a work dinner. My family growing up never waited
OrangePillar@reddit
Yes, you should wait until everyone is served.
europanya@reddit
It’s a bit rude but not unforgivable. If you’re among more formal people I’d wait until everyone’s served. McDonald’s. Who cares
tasukiko@reddit
In general yes. However it really depends on the people you are with and the event you are at. If we were at like a fancy work dinner event I wouldn't dare eat before everyone was served, but at something casual with just finger foods out buffet style like a Superbowl party with friends or something then it doesn't matter at all.
MattieShoes@reddit
Yeah, mildly. Usually there's some awkward glances and then the people without food will tell the people to go ahead, no point in letting it get cold.
Nunyabiz_327@reddit
Generally, yes. But depending on your company, it's not a major offense.
Among friends or family most people would think k twice about it. In a more formal setting, or business meal or something less casual or familiar, it would be expected that you wait.
tracygee@reddit
Kind of. Yeah.
Sometimes someone who hasn’t been served yet will say something along the lines of, “Oh please, eat while your food it hot,” in which case it’s not rude to start eating. But otherwise most people will wait if it’s at a restaurant etc.
The_Motherlord@reddit
It used to be and restaurants always timed meals to arrive together. I have found that since COVID times restaurants no longer bring meals out together and it's no longer considered rude.
I'm not used to it but every restaurant I've been to for the last 4+ years food is brought out 1 meal at a time. More recently some restaurants have you order via an app, each person orders from their phone at it comes out separately, you pay separately.
nomadschomad@reddit
Yes but it’s typical for the others to insist those who are served first “eat while it’s hot.”
DogsBikesAndMovies@reddit
That's just bad service. Everyone is supposed to get their food at the same time.
ModernPrometheus0729@reddit
We took not eating before everyone was served VERY seriously in my home. It was practically a cardinal sin.
mnemosyne64@reddit
Yeah but not seriously, if just out with friends you could eat a few fries while they’re waiting. More formal setting like a work event or like a first date you should definitely wait though
abstractraj@reddit
Yes but we will encourage each other to start if there’s a delay
Grindar1986@reddit
Usually it's polite to stall for a few minutes but most people understand eating the meal while it is still hot.
Lonely-Attitude1304@reddit
I doubt in America anything is considered rude. This is rude worldwide, but Americans are always going to get in first. So they won't wait
Oomlotte99@reddit
Yes.
momamdhops@reddit
It starts in childhood, as parents we feed our children first. It’s a table manner that needs to be taught when the kids are old enough.
The etiquette is for both inside and outside the home.
greekmom2005@reddit
Yes
momamdhops@reddit
Yes, very rude. Unless there’s a significant delay in one or two peoples meals, and the those whose food is delayed should make it clear that everyone should begin eating.
Past_Recognition7118@reddit
Eh here in the midwest yeah it’d be considered slightly rude but I’d still do it when eating with close friends or family. If it was a brand new girlfriend meeting her family at dinner or something like that I would absolutely wait.
Lusiric9983@reddit
It depends on the situation.
At work? I'm not waiting on anyone. At home? I'll make sure my wife is eating before I do. I consider it a sign of respect. I honestly have no idea where that comes from, I don't remember it actually being taught. I know my stepfather was the opposite, he doesn't wait on anyone. He's one of those "king of the house" types.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
In a good restaurant, all food should be served within 5 minutes of the other guests. Also 8 and 3 makes no sense. That would be two different groups.
Oh_Another_Thing@reddit
Hmm, more like it's polite to wait, rather than rude to go ahead. If you are really hungry, just say so and it's no problem. I might take a bite or two while waiting for others to get their food.
Tardisgoesfast@reddit
Yes, unless they ask you to go ahead and start.
ZookeepergameOk1833@reddit
Yes. But people are rude. An aware person waiting for their food will say go ahead and eat.
AreYouA_Tampon@reddit
I was taught not to eat until everyone has their food, but it seems like absolutely no one does this anymore m.
NecessaryPopular1@reddit
Traditional etiquette says, yes, it’s rude. You’re supposed to wait until everyone is served before anyone begins to eat.
Active_Drawer@reddit
The bigger the party the less taboo. Depending on the type of food it's usually a go ahead and eat thing. No reason for their food to get cold/warm.
Thaimontana@reddit
Although now I live in Thailand where dishes are usually shared. I try to do this on my visits back to the states
Thaimontana@reddit
Also meals are often timed to arrive at nearly the same time.
Phoenix_Court@reddit
Yeah, but also not really. Basically the "polite" thing to do is wait for everyone to get their food, but usually what happens is everyone else at the table says "oh you can start without me!" and then the people with food will eat. If you're with a group that prays before eating one person may say "let's pray so that those with food can begin" and then they'll pray and the ones with food can start.
mikeTheSalad@reddit
If it’s cold food I wait. If it’s hot food I will wait unless someone tells me to go ahead and eat (which usually happens).
theegodmother1999@reddit
i think it "technically" rude, but not something majority of people would ever actually be upset with you about. maybe some older folks would be. but if i'm hungry and i get my food first....... girl im sorry but im digging in
Lumpy-Magician-9832@reddit
It really depends on if there’s a pre meal prayer/something similar I think. I think you’d get very different responses in different areas.
Neb-Nose@reddit
I think it’s very rude. I would never do it.
SouthCotton1979@reddit
Yes
Insomniac_80@reddit
Yes, but I didn't learn that until a "good manners class," my senior year of college!
wastedpixls@reddit
"I'd hate to eat in front of you while you wait, so turn around.'
Able-Seaworthiness15@reddit
I think it's rude in any culture unless there was a major problem with one person's meal and the table agrees. For example, if I order a steak medium and it comes out black and blue, I told the rest of the table to go ahead and eat. And yes, this actually happened to me. The steak came back out a while later, well done, it was nearly charcoal. This was a steak restaurant so I was extremely upset. I again sent it back. By that time, everyone was almost done eating. I had to get a manager, my meal was comped and I got a gift card. My hubby went through a McDonald's drive thru on our way home and I ended up eating a Big Mac instead of a steak but crap happens.
evaj95@reddit
It depends on the group you're with. Some younger groups don't mind, but the older people might.
xSparkShark@reddit
Yes
Opposite_Studio_7548@reddit
Yes it's rude.
Polite people wait until everyone has gotten their food, even if the person or persons who haven't say it's okay to start eating.
lillyleonie@reddit
Nope. Something I thought was really odd when I moved from England to the states, people don’t usually wait. Those with good manners do, but it doesn’t seem to be the norm.
beautyinthesky@reddit
Yes it is rude. It is polite to wait until everyone at the table has been served.
Additional_Low8050@reddit
Yes, but everybody will say go on & eat while it’s hot
Most-Silver-4365@reddit
Fuck'em I'm eating if I'm served first and salivating if served later. No need to let the food cool waiting on the delivery of other food.
pill_oh@reddit
yes but most people say go ahead i don’t mind
aji23@reddit
A little bit. Yes.
ShesGotaChicken2Ride@reddit
Yes.
nsbsalt@reddit
It’s more of an old southern thing. With friends out, you eat when food is given to you. With extended family at big event it’s polite to wait till everyone has food and pray before eating. Not my thing but half my family is pray before meal.
maxman1313@reddit
As others have said technically yes. In practice not much.
I will add, the hotter the food is expected to be eaten, usually entrees, the less rude it is to eat. Don't wait for the good to get cold.
ByWillAlone@reddit
It depends on the restaurant.
French style cuisine (and service) would insist on nobody starting until everyone is served their food...and a great deal of American cuisine and service protocol comes from the French.
But...we also have a lot of Chinese restaurants, and they have no concept of French style service. The first person served might get their food served 40 minutes before the last person served at the same table (which is just infuriating to me). At a Chinese restaurant, it's every one for themselves and you just have to start eating as soon as your food arrives or it will be cold.
So yeah, I would consider it rude to eat before all other people at the table are served...unless it's a Chinese restaurant.
life_experienced@reddit
Generally, it is. But if service is bad and the dishes don't come out at the same time, the person who didn't get their food usually tells the others not to wait.
adudeguyman@reddit
I am usually that person.
BW271@reddit
Only if the food being served is cold. Otherwise, dig in.
Snoo78959@reddit
Yes
Oystershucker80@reddit
Yes
Traditional_Trust418@reddit
I'd say most people don't care that much but it can be considered kinda rude by some
einsteinGO@reddit
The polite thing is to wait
And the other polite thing is for the person(s) who haven’t gotten their food yet to tell everyone else not to wait
shey-they-bitch@reddit
According to etiquette, if its hot you are allowed to eat, if its cold you wait
redjessa@reddit
Yes. I was raised to wait until everyone has their food before you start eating. If whoever doesn't yet says, "go ahead, start eating," I still wait. Because then you are done way before they are. I go to a regular game/dinner group with some friends and there is one friend that immediately starts eating the minute she puts her plate on table, before we all are even seated and it drives me nuts.
Bogside_Bibliophile@reddit
Yes, but it seems not everyone seems to know or follow it.
martsampson@reddit
Yes but it's not a huge personal affront. It's most polite to wait.
GlobalTapeHead@reddit
Yes. I would never do it unless under a very specific set of circumstances.
MrsRuddy@reddit
That’s how I was raised, but nowadays it seems to have fallen to the wayside
Regular-Tell-108@reddit
Yep.
GrimSpirit42@reddit
Depends on the food.
If it’s a formal setting. Yes.
If some ordered sushi, other ordered off the menu. Not really.
Bluemonogi@reddit
If 3 people ordered appetizers but no one else did it is fine for them to eat when others do not have food. If it is the main dish and everyone ordered at the same time they should probably wait unless the others are going to take quite awhile to arrive. You don’t need to sit there letting your food get cold in that case.
KillBologna@reddit
Not in asian culture
vamartha@reddit
Yes. But our society has pretty much shifted to casual.
I wouldn't dare do it at a fancy restaurant or a formal event.
Take me to Bubba Sue's Downhome Southern BBQ House and I might not be so polite about being rude after the tender ribs are laid upon the table.
It totally depends upon the situation.
SabrinaFaire@reddit
A little, but sometimes it's OK if your food is going to get cold and the person waiting says it's OK.
USBombs83@reddit
Americans really don’t have any manners anymore. They wear hats inside, they wear jeans to the opera, they talk on their phones in coffee shops, they walk around with their faces in their phones, they keep their earbuds in when they’re ordering from a server…. the list goes on. Do whatever you want, most Americans wouldn’t understand dignity if it unbuttoned its jacket before it sat down right in front of them.
Adventurous-Bake-168@reddit
Julia Child said cold food (salad) you wait, hot food (steak) you start so it doesn't get cold. That would offend the chef.
whereisurbackbone@reddit
Kind of, but it’s ruder to expect ppl to wait for you. You’d be expected to say “go ahead and eat, don’t wait for me” etc
Ok-Thing-2222@reddit
I was taught to wait until everyone had their food.
tranquilrage73@reddit
Yes.
ScatterTheReeds@reddit
Yes
IanDOsmond@reddit
At 8 people, it's forgivable. It's maybe a little bit rude, but the more people you're waiting on, the more understandable it is. At 8 people, 3 served, I would probably still wait a little longer, but wouldn't judge anyone too harshly who started.
FreeStateOfPortland@reddit
Yes but sometimes people will encourage others to eat anyway.
wind_moon_frog@reddit
Great Curb your Enthusiasm skit on this.
https://www.tiktok.com/@hectorluisalamo/video/7213434533264297259
witx@reddit
Generally, yes. The people who don’t have their food yet will usually say to eat so their food doesn’t get cold. Personally, I feel super weird eating when someone is sitting there without food.
MeTieDoughtyWalker@reddit
I won’t do it but it doesn’t bother me if other start before I do.
mxyzsptlk@reddit
I hate the assumption that the only people in a group who get to eat their food hot are the last ones to get their stuff. I’ve been out with about 15 coworkers multiple times and a few times one person got their food 15-20 minutes after the first person’s came out. I’m not looking at my food for 20 minutes while things cool and congeal.
feliniaCR@reddit
Yes it’s rude
Remote_Ocelot9600@reddit
Yes. Unless the waiting party says to start.
America is very polite about food, generally speaking. It is rude to order take out and not offer the people you are with the same. Also, depending the household depends the order food is served. My household, kids, women, men in that order.
wistfulee@reddit
Yes, unless admonished by the host to go ahead & eat.
Dull_War8714@reddit
Depends on where you are and who you are with. Very traditional people it will be seen as rude, especially if someone doesn’t give you permission to start eating. This often occurs in the south or with older people.
asexualrhino@reddit
There are so many variables that make it ok, and it's only mildly rude, so I honestly wouldn't even worry about it.
puppiedogg@reddit
In my experience, only if you are religious. In fact I would argue most of the people I know would consider it rude to expect them to wait for the food THEY'RE PAYING FOR to go cold just because the kitchen isn't finished with your order yet.
And where I am from hosts do not "serve" their guests, guests are expected to serve themselves, so it's perfectly acceptable to start eating after you make your own plate.
Evening_Falcon_9003@reddit
Generally, it is best to wait until everyone has been served but most people will say, go ahead and get started while it's hot.
Brennisth@reddit
Generally speaking (in the deep south most of my life) I just wait until the first person actually puts a bite in their mouth to make sure no one is a prayer warrior who would be mortally offended by not having a formal group thanks before eating. You can pretty quickly identify if the people you are eating with are in the "it's rude until all are served" camp; the salad that comes out before the meal where some have ordered and not others is a good indicator.
Only_Presentation758@reddit
Yes at a restaurant or sit-down dinner. No if a buffet
jeremyw0918@reddit
I think it is. I’m not gonna go to town on my dinner while my wife is still waiting for her food.
Snoo_33033@reddit
Yes
AleroRatking@reddit
No. For many people its rude to wait
The idea that someone's food should get cold is something that would make my grandma roll in her grave.
LostExile7555@reddit
Yes, but how rude sort of depends on venue. The more formal the dining situation is the more rude it's perceived. If you just at a burger place where they call your number and you have to go pick it up from a counter or you're at a festival it's generally seen as okay to just start eating as soon as you've received your food (it might even be seen as a little odd if you waited on everybody else getting their food before starting your own). But if you're at a formal diner you're absolutely expected to wait until everybody has been served theor food.
SamCanyon@reddit
Yes, unless the unserved guests give permission to “go ahead and it eat it while it’s hot!”
seidinove@reddit
There's a common practice where a person who hasn't received their food yet will encourage those who have to please start eating.
just-curious-2@reddit
Yes
theycallmethevault@reddit
I was raised to wait, even if someone that is waiting says it’s OK to start.
No_Macaron_5029@reddit
The script tends to go:
Bill, who's received his food: *sits there awkwardly, does not eat*
Bob, who hasn't received his food: "It's OK, go ahead and eat!"
In neurotypical-ese both parts of this script need to be there for it not to be rude
greyjedi12345@reddit
Yep
Deep-While-6069@reddit
I was taught to wait until everyone at the table was served before eating, especially if someone else has prepared the meal or is purchasing the meal. If the host or hostess says it is fine to eat before their meal arrives, go ahead and eat. If there is a pre-meal prayer or blessing involved, it’s fair game once said ritual is over. Eating before the ritual, if involved is very rude.
AnybodySeeMyKeys@reddit
Yes. Very.
largos7289@reddit
Eh not really... i mean you could wait, but i mean it's not taboo or anything.
Bubbly_Following7930@reddit
Depends on the people. It doesn't bother me. I'd rather you eat your food while it's a warm a possible.
MISProf@reddit
Yes. But sometimes people ask you to go ahead anyway
daisytat@reddit
It’s considered rude to start before everyone has been served, but if you’re in a party of 12-14 people your food will be soggy or cold once you dig in. The host or someone in charge should tell everyone to begin eating when served. That’s the polite and sensible thing to do. However, my family usually ignores that rule when eating at a certain relative’s home. The family gets their food off a buffet and sits down and waits and waits and waits for the hosts to come in with their food. So once they told us not to wait on them, we haven’t ever since. I think they were in the kitchen washing dishes and cleaning up while we waited!
Dexter_ykt_Fox@reddit
It is most respectful to wait if you receive your food before others. In such case, it's best to engage in conversation to imply more interest in the social interaction over the food. If the interaction is poor, it's okay to pick at the sides with low effort until others receive food, similar to lightly eating appetizers. Even if others give permission to eat first, it is more polite to eat lightly with more attention given to conversation until all are served. If social interaction is poor, all bets are off and you can eat freely, while also recognizing the energy of the rest of the table.
Vyckerz@reddit
I had a large group of co-workers who would go out to lunch a few times a month. Like 5-8 guys depending. Invariably one or two people wouldn’t get their food right away. We had a rule that if around 75% of the table had food, you could eat.
Trick_Photograph9758@reddit
Yes, unless the people without food insist that the others start. And even then, you're better off waiting til everyone can eat.
4thAnne@reddit
It's perfectly acceptable to begin eating if people still waiting tell you to go ahead and start. It's expected that the people waiting will say that.
If I'm the first person to get my food, I usually wait until someone else does, but people don't generally wait on the entire group if given the go ahead by others.
509RhymeAnimal@reddit
the person waiting for their meal will always say a version of “Please don’t wait for me, eat!”. People will pick at or sample their dish to appease them then wait for their dish to be delivered to really dig in.
tvjunkie710@reddit
It depends, but it’s also not that serious ever. If you’re at a restaurant and people get their food but mine is coming in the next 10 minutes then yes please eat without me
Zestyclose-Fig8583@reddit
Yes but been my experience that people still waiting for food always say “guys you should start eating while it’s hot “-
OhHeyJeannette@reddit
Yes
WokeUpIAmStillAlive@reddit
Yeah
Littleboypurple@reddit
Very dependent but, usually seen as a little rude however circumstances will vary. Those without food would usually say it's fine to eat while they wait. Especially if they're formed beforehand that what they're hoping to order will end up taking longer
whatdoidonowdamnit@reddit
Most of the time it is considered rude. Exceptions are made for small children.
ExhaltedPeasant@reddit
Yes it is, but it’s also considered rude if you don’t insist that the person who received their food to start eating without you.
SnarkFest2026@reddit
In general, yes. However, if a particular member of the party has to leave earlier than the rest of the group, then everyone will generally encourage that person to go ahead and enjoy their meal.
MileHighMischief720@reddit
I always wait. Even when the people who have gotten their food say “it’s ok, please get started.” For some reason I just can’t make myself do it, I’d feel so uncomfortable eating in front of people who don’t have food. Maybe I have issues.
_Molj@reddit
I recall this as a rule with some people when I was a kid, but I don’t want you to wait for your food to get cold on my behalf.
Mykona-1967@reddit
Everyone should eat at the same time. If someone arrives later, then of course no one should wait. On the other hand if everyone order their food and several dishes haven’t arrived it’s polite to wait until everyone has their food. Unless there’s a problem with one persons food. The person without food will usually say go ahead and eat while your food is still hot. No reason for everyone to eat cold food waiting.
Now if you’re having dinner at someone’s home then for sure you wait until everyone is seated and has a plate.
PuzzleheadedLemon353@reddit
Yes...at my family's table, it's rude behavior.
Me_be_Artful_Dodger@reddit
As others have said once the non dish having person gives the all clear it’s generally ok…. But I’m the guy who will wait anyway even if everyone else starts.
mommawolf2@reddit
Yes especially in my family. We believe in waiting.
CamiJay@reddit
Context matters…
At home? Kids, I’ll cook but fix ya own damn plates & you better not skimp out on your veggies.
Formal? If it’s like a holiday dinner thing then you typically wait until everyone is seated (and say grace if that’s your style.) Restaurant is fine bc food usually comes out all together but even if there’s a small wait it’s not a big deal.
expomac@reddit
I would call it a taboo, you may not be called out ir expected to wait. But people may consider it rude
Healthy_Blueberry_59@reddit
Yes, but the others will often tell you to go ahead and eat. I never do, but it would not be a problem to.
Crazyboutdogs@reddit
Yeah but in general the other people will say” don’t fur us, eat up” or something similar. But in general you wait u til those not served tell you yo go ahead and eat. If they don’t, you don’t eat.
kieka408@reddit
I wait at least for a while. In large groups not everyone is going to wait and most likely nobody will say anything.
tmanarl@reddit
Yes. In a group setting you wait until everyone at the table has a plate to start on yours.
MrSqueak@reddit
Only if you like them
AlanofAdelaide@reddit
Off topic but how many people (any nationality) sit with a scraped knife and empty fork while chewing then load up when they've swallowed it all?
BoogerPicker2020@reddit
I have always been taught to wait till everyone has a plate of food before them, but I did live overseas in my youth.
Never had an issue with it till I was invited to friend's home in Texas and they ate like it the food was gonna run out.
turdferguson3891@reddit
Typically I would wait. Especially if it's a date. But the other people might tell you to go ahead if it's a group outing.
Alternative-Yam6780@reddit
As a rule, yes it's rude to start before everyone is served.
pawsplay36@reddit
Yes. In fact, in the American South, you will sit there like some sort of vampire or faerie creature, pretending to sip your tea, while you wait for everyone to get served.
WhoSaidWhatNow2026@reddit
It used to be, less so nowadays, particularly if the dish that arrives is a hot dish.
ericstrat1000@reddit
I guess but I think younger generations like me don’t really care
RockItGuyDC@reddit
I will say this...if I am in a casual setting, I eat when my food comes and expect others to do the same. Socially performative bullshit has little use in casual settings, especially when food is getting cold.
However, if I am in a more formal setting, particularly a private home or a business dinner, I generally will wait unless the host says to go ahead.
If I am the host in a more formal setting, or otherwise the last person to get food, I make it well known that no one should wait for me.
Get it while it's hot, people!
RaspberryLanky7905@reddit
If it is a formal enough situation where it would be rude, the restaurant won't even put you in that position.
If it is a casual enough place that they give you your food at different times, no one cares.
Lovely-flutterby@reddit
Yes, it’s considered bad manners unless the one remaining person encourages you to go ahead and eat, I would never consider doing so otherwise.
Kitchen_Coast2802@reddit
At a formal occasion: dinner party in someone’s home (plated, buffet, or potluck), wedding or other seated, catered event, or at a formal and fancy restaurant- yes; wait. Exception: if you ordered a special meal (veg) and everyone has their meal before you, you must tell the table to not wait for you. At a group dinner at a decent restaurant when the waiter has too many plates to bring out all at once- yes, wait. Same exception as above. At a cafeteria or more casual place where you place individual orders and are sitting together (like fast food) you can eat as it is ready. In this case if you get your food first it’s acceptable to ask: ‘do you mind if I start?’ It’s also good to say to the other person ‘don’t wait for me’ if they get their food first.
Pet peeve: in a more formal group if half the group has food and the other half doesn’t one person in the non food group invites the other half to eat. Invariably this makes everyone uncomfortable as some people don’t want to be rude and start without the group when the waiter is coming shortly with the rest of the tables food.
USNCCitizen@reddit
It’s not really rude, but it is polite to wait. If it’s a salad or appetizer and others didn’t order one then you’re good to start on yours. No one ever expects anyone to wait and allow their food to get cold tho.
shelwood46@reddit
I was taught that, but within reason. Like if the other people are being handed their food, you wait. If one person sent their food back because it was wrong and needs to be recooked, probably okay to eat (and they will likely say, "Everyone go ahead, don't wait on me"). Ditto if there's a significant delay with one person's plate. But if you cannot wait until the server(s) have set everyone's plate down before you dig in, yeah, you will get the side eye because you will look childish and possibly people will be worried you have a medical condition making you, well, rude.
mckenzie_keith@reddit
What you do is, you offer some of your food to the one person who doesn't have anything. Then you can dig in. Like "want some of my fries?" Don't take "no" for an answer.
Also, if you are with religious people watch out for grace. Some people like to say a prayer before eating. I can't tell you how many time I have mumbled "bless us oh lord and these thy gifts...." through with a mouth full of food.
Charming-Pack-5979@reddit
Yes, but most people will urge you to eat because they’re also being polite. If you’re with close friends you can just eat
FunkIPA@reddit
Sort of. If I were one of the 3 in that situation, I would not start eating until someone who didn’t have food said “oh gosh don’t wait for us, start eating”. If I were one of the 8, I would be quick to say that, and in my opinion it’s also rude to not say that.
Far_Shop_3135@reddit
generally yes bnut likee veryone said the non-food-havers will wave it off. Growing up we did not start eating till everyone sat down and was served but my husband has no such qualms.. I still observe it though.
Leucotheasveils@reddit
I’ll usually wait until someone says, “go ahead, I don’t mind”.
CelebrationFar1351@reddit
Most of us don’t give a fuck.
Antitenant@reddit
Generally, it's polite to wait. Usually someone who still hasn't received their food will say to go ahead and eat. I have also heard that when a person has food that is meant to be eaten when hot, it's not so rude to eat while it's hot. The more formal the meal, the more formal the rules though.
alwaysboopthesnoot@reddit
It can be, if eating out in a restaurant with groups other than close family and friends, or at a work event, or during a more formal event/meal.
The general etiquette rule, unless the person providing or paying for the meal tells you to go ahead and eat: wait for everyone to be served, before eating.
burlingk@reddit
That is something that confused me at first when I got to Japan.
In the US we kind of favor all starting together, or at least waiting until the eldest/senior person at the table starts.
In Japan, they basically favor eating the food while it is still warm/hot, to respect how the cooks intended it to be consumed.
That was a BIG difference between what I expected things to be like here, and what they actually are like here.
musical_dragon_cat@reddit
Generally yes, but people in my locality prefer the opposite. Can't tell you how many times I'll wait for the rest of my party to get their food only to be insisted I start eating so my food doesn't get cold.
geekycurvyanddorky@reddit
It’s polite and kind to wait, but not required in a casual setting. You can always ask if it’s alright to start eating your food, if they want you to wait they’ll let you know.
noviceartificer@reddit
You have to do the dance of waiting. The person without food going no you can eat. You go are you sure I don’t mind and they go absolutely. Then you can eat
Constellation-88@reddit
Personally, my friends and I don’t care. I think it’s stupid to make someone wait with hot food right in front of them. 90% of the time the restaurant brings the meal out at the same time, though, so it’s only an issue if there is an error in someone’s food.
Throwaway-ish123a@reddit
Slightly, but most people will say to eat it while it's hot. IIRC, there was a Seinfeld episode or similar about a guy Elaine was on a date with, who actually did insist on her waiting until his entree arrived. The joke being, nobody normal insists on that.
MorgessaMonstrum@reddit
Yes, but only mildly. But nobody cares if you start drinking a beverage before everyone else gets theirs.
AcrobaticLadder4959@reddit
Yes
Great_Chipmunk4357@reddit
Yes, but often the host or hostess will tell those who have been served to start eating.
Individual_Check_442@reddit
I’d be good with that. If all eight people were getting their food at once, then someone’s actually going to get it first, I’d wait for everyone to be served. But if there orders came out sooner, eat it while it’s hot.
BlueFeathered1@reddit
Yes. Or at least used to be. Manners have largely become an archaic custom to many these days, unfortunately. It's also incredibly rude to start eating before the person who cooked the food (in the case of a home setting) sits down to eat. In both cases of someone not respecting those things, I'd think less of them.
No-Tart-1157@reddit
It depends on the occasion and size of the group for me. If it’s less than five people then typically I’ll wait and I’ve noticed others do the same. I’ll maybe graze or prod at the food in the meanwhile but I won’t pick up my fork and dig in until everyone has theirs. But if it’s a birthday I won’t touch even a morsel until the birthday recipient has everything they ordered.
I saw some say that when table is waiting on one person that person will usually give the go ahead and tell everyone to eat. That’s pretty accurate as well
bx_sarang@reddit
Yes
Outlaw_Josie_Snails@reddit
Social conventions dictate that you wait until all the meals arrive. Usually, the person who hasn't received their meal will insist that everyone begin eating.
Chefs and restaurant servers try to time everything as best as possible, but stuff happens.
In more casual settings, the unwritten rule is often that if the food is hot, you should eat it.
This is why "family style" or tapas-style dining is often ideal; it completely removes the pressure of synchronized delivery and lets the kitchen send food out as it’s ready.
bmbmwmfm@reddit
Yes
SadLeek9950@reddit
Most places will not begin bringing orders to the table unless everything is ready or coming right up.
duck_luvr@reddit
yes
AcanthisittaWhole216@reddit
It depends on who you go out with, among the Asian friends and family, it’s totally normal to eat as soon as your food comes out, some restaurants even ask that you eat it as soon as possible for the best flavor. But when going with the white and black friends, it’s usually expected to wait for everyone to get their food first.
WildlifePolicyChick@reddit
Yes - but that's how I was raised. Most people say something like, "oh don't wait on me!' or "Please start!' or whatever. It's a polite given, and then the other guests suggest starting/not waiting.
122922@reddit
Yes.
exedore6@reddit
It is to me, though by course. If my order is multi-course (appetizer, soup, salad, etc), it'd be weird to wait till the main dish comes out, at a recipe.
Minimalistmacrophage@reddit
It really depends on a lot of factors, but generally yes.
There is usually expectation that someone in the "unserved" group will give permission or encourage the served to eat. But it really depends on the group and established expectations.
The more casual the setting the less the expectation that people wait for everyone to be served.
If someone makes a special order, or orders something known to take longer that generally "absolves" those served earlier,
kennymfg@reddit
Kinda but I think that’s a seriously dumb rule.
cutezombiedoll@reddit
Depends on the setting and how familiar everyone is with each other. With strangers, especially in formal settings it’s considered quite rude, but most people won’t wait if they’re just having a casual dinner with friends, or they might be told outright by anyone waiting for their food not to wait.
hiketheworld2@reddit
Yes.
However, it is also rude for people to not invite those who have received hot food to eat while they are waiting for their food.
So, starting without an invitation to do so from your dining companions who don’t have food - rude
Not inviting your dining companions to eat while the food is hot - also rude
With proper service where all are served at the same time, the hostess should take the first bite - however, same goes, she should promptly take a bite so others aren’t waiting for her to eat
ChapBobL@reddit
Restaurants in America bring everyone's food out at the same time. They keep dishes that are ready sooner warm. When I lived in Germany, you got the food when it was ready, and it was OK to start eating before others were served.
ilovjedi@reddit
Yes but it’s even ruder not to tell the people who have their food to go ahead and eat it because you don’t mind.
chocchiphuman@reddit
I’d say the inverse is more often true:
If you didn’t get your food yet, and you don’t immediately insist everyone else start eating, then you are the rude one.
bbii511@reddit
Generally it is yes.
Comfortable-Story-53@reddit
Yes.
Bathsheba_E@reddit
The way I remember it, if dishes are not coming out on time, or some guests don’t have their food, persons who have a hot meal in front of them may eat to prevent their food from growing cold. Persons with a cold dish should wait until everyone is served.
GotMeAMuleToRide@reddit
I think it is. I've never really thought about the accepted etiquette.
OldRaj@reddit
Yes. In my house no one eats until my wife and I are seated; we are the last ones to serve ourselves.
Other-Instruction531@reddit
Yes it is rude
JustAnotherDay1977@reddit
Yes. But often the person or people who haven’t received their food will tell you to go ahead and start, in which case it’s considered acceptable.
Icy-Candidate-6467@reddit
Normally we let kids eat right away but adults wait for other people to eat.
resiyun@reddit
Maybe if you’re old or grow up in the countryside
ginamegi@reddit
Depends how many people. More than 6 then I don’t think it matters, less then maybe you should wait
Creepy-Floor-1745@reddit
Wait for your host to give you a nod - “go ahead and get started!” is what a good host says. If you’re the host, you should say that too so they don’t have to wait as their food gets cold
ChrisFromLongIsland@reddit
It is considered rude. Though I always thought it was stupid.
ALoungerAtTheClubs@reddit
It's generally considered polite to wait, but only the type of person who gets a little thrill from being judgmental is really going to mind.
rawbface@reddit
Yes. I'd rather have them hold all the food until everyone's is ready. But I'm not getting upset if it's a huge party and we all got something different.
ProbablyMyRealName@reddit
I would say it is considered polite to wait until everyone has their food, but almost no one would be mad at someone for eating while their food is still hot. Most people would blame the restaurant for not bringing all the food out rather than blaming the person who got their food first for starting to eat.
Mtngirl2018@reddit
Yes but often people who haven’t received their food will tell them to go and ahead and eat so their food doesn’t get cold
pikkdogs@reddit
Depends. My family would be okay with it. My wife’s family wouldn’t.
Sharontoo@reddit
Yes.
ElectromagneticRam@reddit
At a sit-down restaurant, yeah it’s generally polite to wait.
RobertoBologna@reddit
Any decent restaurant will ensure they’re coming out at the same time
Electronic-Age-4019@reddit
I think it depends on the situation
SaltandLillacs@reddit
Yes.
Luckyangel2222@reddit
Yes it is
7ayalla@reddit
Yes