Is it bad to awkwardly introduce myself and start talking to random Americans at a bar?

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Efflux@reddit

You're in America baby. That's our shit.

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spaceguyy@reddit

There's no better place in the world to strike up a conversation with a stranger as a foreigner.

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Low_Attention9891@reddit

Yeah, it’s pretty normal. The thing too is it’s the bus, so you’ll never see them again anyway.

You don’t have to introduce yourself, it’s not very formal. It’s just like “oh, the weather’s been pretty nice today” or something like that.

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It depends on the bar, and the energy of the room… but yes, I actually would highly encourage you to randomly talk to folks at a bar. It’s often times why people go there, casual conversation with strangers.

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Abefroman12@reddit

Where are you from? Americans love talking to someone with an accent

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NoComplex2662@reddit (OP)

I'm originally from India.

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Aclearly_obscure1@reddit

The population density surrounding the bar will generally have an effect on how well your accent is received. Generally speaking, people from big cities are used to them, and may even be excited to talk to you to hear your accent more. If you’re visiting a place with only one bar in town, results will vary.

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SAM5TER5@reddit

Is that actually true though? Is that something you’ve experienced yourself? I’ve found people from small towns and rural areas to generally be a LOT less likely to just outright ignore or shun you right off the bat. And while you might have to wade through a lot of ignorance and judgement for being someone they can’t immediately relate to, the same exact thing can be witnessed in big cities — just for different reasons.

Immigrants from almost anywhere but Western Europe are certainly more likely to face racism and xenophobia, but are also more likely to get along long-term (and be much more ideologically aligned) with rural Americans. Just my experience as a half-Arab in a border state.

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LupercaniusAB@reddit

I’m a white guy who walked into a bar in Walkill New York, sat down at the bar, and within one minute some dude sat down next to me and said “you think you’re better’n me, doncha?”

So there’s that.

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SAM5TER5@reddit

Oooh so what happened?? And why? I have to know this story now lol

Side note, I’d happily get bullied by people with that accent all day lol, I’m a sucker for rural Canadian border accents haha

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LupercaniusAB@reddit

Not much, I told him that I didn’t think of him at all, and that I was just having a drink. He got bored and left.

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SAM5TER5@reddit

Damn, he must’ve been realll pissy about your whole vibe lol, what an ass. Here I was hoping he was just being super abrasive in his introduction lol

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LupercaniusAB@reddit

Nah, just a small town asshole with a chip on his shoulder.

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Educational_Impact93@reddit

"Well, I've never met you before, but yes."

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Aclearly_obscure1@reddit

It’s something I’ve observed traveling all over the US as a ‘road warrior’ for over a decade of my career in various industries. I live in a big city. During my travels I would ask every individual I came across how far they have travelled from ‘here.’ In sparsely populated areas, the vast majority had not left their surrounding area. Some of these areas of the country are more kind to folks from other countries than others. In every place there will always be someone in town who has traveled, and has a more open minded view of the world, often the bartender at the local watering hole.

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Delores_Herbig@reddit

In my experience you and the poster above you are both kind of right.

I live in the LA area, and I’ve also been a bartender for many years. Most people in a big city will be polite and pleasant if you try to talk to them at a bar. You’re more likely to be received well just in general (especially as a brown person with an accent). When it comes to actually making friends or connections, it might be somewhat more difficult. People in cities tend to be friendly but not as interested in unknown company (this is for sure true in the pac northwest or parts of the northeast). However, Americans are still just generally friendly everywhere, so you’ll still be able to find people who are interested fairly easily.

In my experience in smaller towns, you’re a lot more likely to experience outright aggression if you’re “different”. However the people who are interested in talking to you tend to be much more invested in the interaction in general, and are more likely to take it further than initial pleasantries.

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Gmhowell@reddit

Can’t speak to the LA experience, but this lines up with the small town pretty well. You’ll either be encouraged to move quickly or not have to buy a round. In those small places, it’s the same old crowd week after week. It can get boring. Someone from out of the US is a novelty. Interesting.

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SAM5TER5@reddit

Very well said, thank you. And I definitely appreciate the firsthand insights from a professional

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Kaenu_Reeves@reddit

Man. As an Indian, I wish you luck. It may be hard.

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moonwalkinginlowes@reddit

No I’ve met lots of cool people that way! A guy from Austria joined our group at the bar last weekend lol I’ve met several Indian, Nigerian, German, and Moroccan friends this way. Big international student population!

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LupercaniusAB@reddit

College towns don’t count.

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moonwalkinginlowes@reddit

According to who?

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LupercaniusAB@reddit

According to me, if we are talking about small towns.

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NewTransformation@reddit

Some Americans would be racist, but most like talking to people from other places

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Queer_Advocate@reddit

The vast majority I think would be pretty clear that the vibe is off, they'd be short/curt/rude. Americans who are racist don't really hide it that much, anymore. Kinda like the homophobes.

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Gmhowell@reddit

It depends. I have a friend/former coworker who is AA (although he preferred ‘black’) Said that in Texas and the south it was very obvious, very fast. But in the mid Atlantic you could never be sure. Had another AA coworker who said that while he didn’t ’like it’ walking into a place where they immediately say “we don’t really care for your kind here” made things much easier.

Anyway, to OP, chances are in fact pretty good that he will know quickly who doesn’t like people of a different race/nationality. And that even if people don’t care, being from India, he might get some ball busting about tech support.

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Untimed_Heart313@reddit

I wouldn't say that this is necessarily a hard rule though. I'm generally very short or curt, but it's because I have horrible social anxiety and I'm constantly masking. I want to talk, but it's very hard for folks like me

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Queer_Advocate@reddit

You mistook what I said or I wasn't clear enough. Racist will be short/curt as in it is a sign. Not that short/curt=racist.

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Laiko_Kairen@reddit

I'm gonna be honest, man... I'm from So Cal and there's a huge South Asian population here. I had two Indian professors in college, the doctor's office I go to has 3 Indian doctors (two brothers and a sister), etc. My next door neighbors growing up were Sikhs, and I had a Tamil friend in college.

Speaking to a person with an Indian accent wouldn't even register to me as unusual. I'd assume you came to the States for education and stayed, which is very common, and is one of the reasons America is so rich, the brain gain vs brain drain effect. Indians over here tend to be very well off financially and focused on education in my experience.

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WowsrsBowsrsTrousrs@reddit

Right? Northeastern US: My nephrologist and opthalmologist are Hispanic, not born in US; my primary care doctor is East Asian (though there are a couple of standard-issue American WASPs in the practice) , most of the cardiologists at the clinic are East Asian or South Asian, my dermatologist and my dentist are Vietnamese.

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organiclife@reddit

The vast majority of Americans at a bar absolutely love talking to someone not from here. There may be some stupid/uninformed questions about your culture but I hope you take that in stride

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disgruntledhoneybee@reddit

I think it sort of depends on where you are. Here in Massachusetts, people can be a bit chillier to strangers at say a nicer cocktail lounge in the city. But at my local hole in the wall, small town, dive bar type place, I’d be happy to chit chat while ordering a drink if you struck up a conversation. Just be normal about it lol. Also if you’re a man approaching a woman by herself, she may be a bit more wary.

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wittyrepartees@reddit

I keep wondering how you could signal to a lady that you're not trying to hit on them. The best is to indicate that you are gay. Second best might be to tell them about your wife or girlfriend early on? "Man, my wife really loves that team. Have you been a fan for long?"

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lisagd625@reddit

I think the right body language helps. IMO, if a guy starts talking to me and immediately turns his whole torso or body to face me, he's going to hit on me. If he keeps facing forward and just turns his head toward me when he talks, he's more than likely just chatting. I'd say he should leave it to the woman to decide to turn and face him as the conversation gets more engrossing; then he can turn his body toward her.

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Johnnys-In-America@reddit

I don't know, give them the benefit of the doubt, they just might get along with guys famously! I know I do! I can friendzone pretty quickly, too, but normally that doesn't happen often and I just end up with a buddy.

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disgruntledhoneybee@reddit

That honestly would be a way for me to warm up a bit. Like nothing against anyone, but if a strange guy came up to me in a bar and started chatting, I’d be wary. If he mentioned his wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend, I’d relax a bit.

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wittyrepartees@reddit

Yeah, same. I was trying to figure out what I'd feel if someone came up and was like "not trying to hit on anyone, just trying to make friends! How are you?" And I think that might work, but I'd still be more nervous than if they were like "boy oh boy my significant other is wonderful!"

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JoyDVeeve@reddit

It depends on the individual. If you tried that with me you would likely have a disappointing interaction but if you tried that with my husband you'd likely have a lovely conversation covering several different topics

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General_Ad_6617@reddit

Just for conversation, no problem.

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yossariandawn@reddit

The only part I would find odd would be a formal introduction as an opener. In my experience, most interactions at bars begin with just some casual conversation, normally a situational observation or something, and if there is enough back and forth to gauge interest in continuing the conversation longer, you might exchange names at that point.

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mike11172@reddit

Save the introduction for later. Find a common topic first, anything from the weather to the song on the jukebox. Go by their reaction. Some people just want to drink in silence. But most people will chat. A bar is a social environment. Being social is partly expected.

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OkDecision1612@reddit

You can absolutely talk to people at the bar! It’s kind of expected as a regular thing.

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trustingfastbasket@reddit

Drunk people in America will talk to strangers for hours. But then never again. I'm not sure how this would work for long term friends

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Primary_Excuse_7183@reddit

Nope. That’s what bars normally are for

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Physical_Floor_8006@reddit

Hell, you don't even have to be in a bar.

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Responsible_Ask3976@reddit

Random guy talked to my boyfriend and I at a bar. He now has my boyfriend’s number and if we visit Chile, he’ll be our tour guide

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PAXICHEN@reddit

Met a Romanian dude in a Bar in Boston. Wound up selling him my super stroller that my kids had grown out of.

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Responsible_Ask3976@reddit

Precious moments!!! Good morning ☀️

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IthurielSpear@reddit

I met a microbiologist at a bar while I was dressed up as a tiger one night.

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aircraftwhisperer@reddit

We fucking love that shit.

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WellWellWellthennow@reddit

Yes this is fine, but typically you wouldn't walk up into a group and insert yourself. You would talk to the people sitting next to you, just a little comment or to it first and then if they seem responsive, you say more and more and if they don't, you turn and talk to the person on the other side. Sometimes it works out sometimes it doesn't.

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Responsible_Side8131@reddit

Talking to strangers in a bar is absolutely acceptable.

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sean8877@reddit

Usually someone will start talking out loud near you (to no one in particular) and that's your invitation to join in a conversation. So it's less formal in bars here, people kind of just start talking without real introductions and you might learn their name later.

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rdubmu@reddit

Americans are very friendly, it’s easy to strike up a conversation. Being Indian, I would recommend you stay on the west coast, or northern areas as there is still a ton of racism in the south.

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sean8877@reddit

Atlanta is the exception though in the south, I know more Indian people than non-Indians here (I work in IT). I've never seen or heard of any non-Americans being treated poorly, though I'm sure it has happened, but that is true anywhere. It's not the norm here though, it's a pretty big melting pot in this city so come on down.

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Ok-Understanding9244@reddit

if you are friendly and can hold a good conversation, i'd talk to you..

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sermitthesog@reddit

When I travel for business, I often eat alone at the bar. Have had plenty of random conversations with random people doing the same. It’s not a bad thing at all.

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BAMspek@reddit

I’m more of an introvert, but if I have a couple beers in me already then I’d be cool with it. That is more or less the entire point of a bar. It’s a social space. Even if I’m just there to watch a game with my partner or a friend, if someone strikes up a conversation I’m generally pretty receptive.

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Pernicious_Possum@reddit

Talking to people at bars is normal. Introducing yourself first is not. You start chatting, and then at some point you say “I’m nocomplex2662 by the way”

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MuscaMurum@reddit

There was a certain place that I would stop at for a burger at the bar if I was working late. Every time without fail I would meet someone interesting just by striking up conversation with the people on either side. No one will bat an eye at this. It sometimes helps to warm up by chatting with the bartender first if you feel awkward with conversation. Bartenders are great to talk to--it comes with the territory.

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getElephantById@reddit

No, not at all. You'll have to recognize the signs that someone isn't interested in talking to you, which (I don't know) may be different from culture to culture. But generally if you're interested in talking to people—especially if you're interested in letting them talk about themselves—most people here will happily open up to you.

If you mention early on that you're a foreigner, you'll be an interesting curiosity, and you'll find people being particularly nice to you, and maybe even asking you questions.

As a rule, stay away from politics, religion and so forth. It's not impossible to have a discussion about these subjects, but it's very delicate. And, honestly, most people do not have particularly interesting things to say about either subject, I find.

One thing to note about bars is that, depending on the acoustics and the noise level, it can be difficult to understand someone with a strong accent—this works both ways. That is the most frustrating problem for me: I want to hear what you're saying, but I can't.

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Lie-Pretend@reddit

Sitting quietly alone is way stranger than drunkenly introducing yourself to anyone who gets within arms length.

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WillGrahamsass@reddit

I was with my partner at a bar/restaurant. These people started talking with each other about Scotland. My partner was able to give them some good unsolicited travel advice seeing as how he is Scottish.

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Nodeal_reddit@reddit

No. Not at all. So long as you’re not weird about it.

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Communal-Lipstick@reddit

No way. Go for it, I'd love to chat with you!

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xx-rapunzel-xx@reddit

if you’re a guy, i think it’s okay if it’s with a group of other guys. i don’t think it’s okay if it’s with men and women (unless they’re not partnered off) and definitely not okay with most women.

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dobbydisneyfan@reddit

That’s normal. But if they are a lone female who is very clearly not interested in talking and you are a male, don’t take it personally if they give you the cold shoulder for their own safety.

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StutzBob@reddit

It's perfectly fine. Just try to be aware of any social cues that signify the people you're talking to are not interested. It is annoying if a stranger will not leave you alone, and a lot of Americans will be too polite to end the conversation. If they stop asking you questions, if they won't look at you, if they only give brief answers, and if you have been talking a lot or for a long time and monopolizing their attention: stop, excuse yourself, and try conversing with someone else.

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Background_Humor5838@reddit

It would almost be weird if you didn't say anything. Get out there and make some friends!

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Efficient-Panic3506@reddit

honestly bars are like one of the only places in the US where this is completely normal. you might get a few people who aren’t in the mood, but that’s not you being weird, that’s just them

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Sinkraid@reddit

I’m American and live in America. All I do is talk to random strangers. It’s awesome.

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Johnnys-In-America@reddit

Gotta admit our camaraderie here is pretty cool. I can't imagine the opposite.

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Plato198_9@reddit

You'll be fine, even Introverts will talk to random people in public here, as long as they are interested in the topic of Conversation I mean

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Willing_Ad_699@reddit

Not only is it not bad, you’re gonna find someone you’ll want to escape from quickly lol.

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Johnnys-In-America@reddit

Yes, the ol' "I'm in that phase of my intoxication journey where I love everyone and I love this place, man!!! Story time!" Suggest giving the cold shoulder. Completely inibriated people are not that fun.

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revengeappendage@reddit

That’s like the most normal thing people do in bars lol

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SAM5TER5@reddit

In America that’s definitely true

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Johnnys-In-America@reddit

So it's not in other places? I'm so used to at the very least, being open to making small talk or being polite. Can't imagine an entire setting where everyone is just sitting alone and drinking and ignoring each other. That's just too weird. Unless you're talking about here in Vegas when someone wants to gamble while they're drinking, they pretty much prefer to be alone.

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Astronomer_Original@reddit

Talking to people at the bar is common practice. Mostly if you are sitting at the actual bar. Less common if you are sitting at a table in the bar. Generally start off by making some small talk (commenting on whatever is on TV or the weather, etc. Avoid politics. Usually give your name after you’ve been chatting for a bit.

Have fun. Americans are pretty chatty and that is what bars are for!

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needsmorequeso@reddit

This is it. Sit at the bar rather than a table. Find something interesting to comment on (it’s helpful if there is a sport you know a bit about on tv). Comment in it. If the person reciprocates keep going. Boom! You have a buddy!

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Johnnys-In-America@reddit

Especially over sports like you said. That's how you designate entire bars to be for fans of this or that team. Generally it'll be where you can find out your own team's headquarters, too. It's so much fun to watch the games with a bunch of rowdy fans. It's peak stuff.

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Nynasa@reddit

Its fine. Americans talk to everyone pretty much just find a common topic.

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the_real_JFK_killer@reddit

Americans will talk to a brick wall if it greets them

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SAM5TER5@reddit

To be fair, that’s a once in a lifetime opportunity

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Johnnys-In-America@reddit

Not when you have psilocybin mushrooms.

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websterhamster@reddit

Bold of you to assume I need a greeting to introduce myself to a brick wall.

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LetterheadClassic306@reddit

i've seen this a lot - it's actually pretty normal at casual bars here, especially during sports games or slower weeknights. people go to bars to be social, so introducing yourself is fine. what helped me before was starting with something simple like asking about the game on TV or what they're drinking. if they seem busy or give short answers, just let it go. you won't come off as weird unless you keep pushing when they're not into it.

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Letterheadless9886@reddit

No we (especially texans) are very chatty

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No_Importance_750@reddit

Not at all. That’s actually very normal here. A lot of people go clubbing at bars to meet people.

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Snoo_33033@reddit

Are you trying to make friends or trying to get laid? If the second, leave me alone.

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thewNYC@reddit

No. Enjoy.

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Cinisajoy2@reddit

Depending on where you are from and your accent, you might have a willing listener all night long.

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SanctimoniousVegoon@reddit

Bars are the one place where it's pretty much always okay to do that.

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AppropriateDark5189@reddit

You should be fine but read the room. Some local bars can be weird. I grew up in the US southern states but some bars are even too local for me.

I’ve been to India a couple times and all of my current team are from different countries (India, UK, Mexico, Philippines) and that’s just my direct team. I’m generally in meetings on a daily basis with people from several other countries.

I might try to guess what state in India you’re from based on accent. I would also ask what biryani you like best and whether you’re a Naan or Roti person :).

Damn, now I want Dosa or Idly for breakfast…

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Laochdha@reddit

I’m from Ireland so shit talking in bars is second nature to me. Saying that, since moving to NYC 3 years ago I dont think I’ve ever had as many conversations forced on me in bars as I have here. I’m not complaining, but I think you’re absolutely approaching it right now

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wawa2022@reddit

I suggest let the conversation start but don’t introduce yourself right away. If you start with “hi, I’m no complex, let’s be friends” that’s weird. Just start chatting. If you seem to hit it off, then say, oh, I’m no complex. Good to meet you

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RedSolez@reddit

This is very normal in American culture. It usually starts with small talk!

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Bluemonogi@reddit

It’s probably fine.

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thedancingpanda@reddit

The better way -- just sit at the bar, and make conversation with the people around you when an opportune time presents itself. You can literally just make some offhand comment about a thing happening around you. The bartenders are there to help so long as you're friendly.

You can introduce yourself later.

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MuppetManiac@reddit

As long as you read the room and leave people alone who aren't responsive, it's fine.

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Evening_Falcon_9003@reddit

Sure why not? If they don't want to talk they will let you know. Check body language too. 99% of people don't mind at all.

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Appropriate-Food1757@reddit

No, it’s encouraged

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foxsable@reddit

As others have said, in your general bar, yeah, you're good to just talk to whoever. Couple caveats.

So, if a couple is sitting alone, probably don't start with them. They might be on a date or might just not want to be bothered. Also, if you sit next to someone and are like "What's up?" and the look at you, nod, then turn back to their beer without responding, that's a polite "don't bother me, I'm busy drinking alone". If a woman is alone she may think you want to flirt with her, so, expect a bit of standoffishness until it's obvious you're not some jerk.

In general though, it is fine, and most people are polite enough to explain that they don't want to talk in the event that they don't. Many will however, and the farther away you are from the better. We are pretty curious.

Finally, the shittier bar you are at, the less likely you'll encounter standoffish people. If the whole place smells like a mop bucket, and everyone there stops talking when you walk in and stares, maybe not that bar. A brewery or Brewpub is a GREAT place to try to talk to folks. Most people in there are pretty chill.

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WindSong001@reddit

Please do

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SkyPuppy561@reddit

Nope. I’ll talk to any damn body even sober. I’m even more open to talking drunk.

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CelebrationFar1351@reddit

That is like… normal behavior in a bar.

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Astronomer_Original@reddit

Talking to people at the bar is common practice. Mostly if you are sitting at the actual bar. Less common if you are sitting at a table in the bar. Generally start off by making some small talk (commenting on whatever is on TV or the weather, etc. Avoid politics. Usually give your name after you’ve been chatting for a bit.

Have fun. Americans are pretty chatty and that is what bars are for!

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wittyrepartees@reddit

Yes. The small talk is too gauge whether they're open to speaking to you.

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timeonmyhandz@reddit

Start with.. “hey, do you mind if I ask you a question.” Then have a question about something,, it will go from there.

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wairua_907@reddit

Normal . That’s how you meet people , me and my friends do karaoke and a random guy was like “can I sit with you guys?” And now he’s at all the functions .. thanksgiving dinner etc.

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Many_Inevitable_6803@reddit

I love this!

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Many_Inevitable_6803@reddit

No, do it! I’m American and do it all the time. Most ppl are friendly and you will have some interesting conversations! Some of my favorite nights are when I go to get dinner solo, sit at a bar and strike up a conversation with the person next to me. I’ve met so many interesting ppl that way!

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freeze45@reddit

I would say something like, "How's your day been?" or "Hey, can you recommend a beer?" rather than just introducing my self. If someone walked up to me and just said, "Hi' I'm Jack. Let's be friends" yes, I would find it a bit awkward. Just start talking about something to someone, asking them a question about the weather, the bar/restaurant you are in, or whatever sports is on. After a few minutes of chatting, then you can introduce yourself.

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Maybeitsmeraving@reddit

It's totally normal, that's a part of bar culture. Steer clear of politics and religion, your best bet is to lightly join in on an in progress conversation you find engaging. But opening with sports talk, discussion about a local event, a joke; all fine.. Give a long pause now and again to let other people pick up the thread if they're still interested or disengage if they want to exit the conversation but can't figure out how.

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Konradleijon@reddit

That’s normal bar behavior

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ImCrossingYouInStyle@reddit

Perfectly fine, especially at the bar area. Just be cool about it, not barging into an established conversation. Also, consider going on a trivia night. Some folks are looking for another team member and would welcome you to sit with them.

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musical_dragon_cat@reddit

Don't even need to introduce yourself at first. Just join in on a conversation or strike up a new one, and if it becomes engaging, then you can introduce yourself if you're not asked to first. It feels awkward and it sometimes can be, but the right people will welcome you regardless.

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elocin1985@reddit

I don’t go out anymore but I was a semi regular at one point at a local dive bar. What I did at first was just sit at the bar, talk to the bartender when she wasn’t busy, and just naturally participate in the conversations around me. People at bars typically like to be heard. You’ll notice a lot of them talking loudly, wanting to participate in conversation with everyone around them, rather than just the person they’re sitting next to. So that’s kind of where you can just jump in. Laugh, or agree to their point or something like that. You don’t have to like straight up introduce yourself. But just participating and joining in, you’ll learn their names, they’ll learn yours, and there ya go.

But no, definitely not awkward or weird to talk to people randomly at bars. We generally love talking to new people. Just don’t be creepy toward women lol.

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byebybuy@reddit

Generally yes. BUT read the situation and the person/peoples' body language.

I've been in situations where I was having a serious 1:1 conversation with a friend at a bar and an intoxicated stranger came up to us and it was not welcome at all. We tried to give every indication that we didn't really want them to join our private conversation, but we ended up having to outright tell them to go away.

But I've been in many, many, many MORE situations where I've partied with complete strangers and had a great time and walked away friends. It's all about good judgement.

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wittyrepartees@reddit

Admittedly, on my first date with my husband a really drunk girl started talking to us, and we thought it was hilarious.

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anonymouse278@reddit

If you're going to do this, a bar is the place. I mean, read the room first- there are bars that are lively and social and bars where people want to be left alone. But in general, people goto a bar to drink with other people. If they didn't want to talk to anybody, drinking at home would be a lot cheaper.

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FishWestern6148@reddit

depends where you are but generally u should be fine. there are definitely more social parts of america(i.e. the south) and less social parts(i.e. new england) and you might get some weird looks in, say, new hampshire as apposed to texas, but you probably won’t get the shit beat out of you either way

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jimonlimon@reddit

Normal... except it's not common to introduce yourself. Just start the conversation with some sort of observation or question. "Hot ain't it?"; "Do they have an IPA that doesn't taste like bitter skunk piss?"; "How 'bout them Packers (Chargers, Dodgers, Red Sox, etc.)". Not "Hello kind sir. I'm Allen Farsworth the Fourth. Might we have a genteel conversation about matters of small import?".

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Legitimate-Log-6542@reddit

Really common at a bar. It won’t seem weird as long as you’re not acting weird. Just strike up a conversation and most people are down to chat. You know what’s a really easy one is to say you’re not from here and ask about what’s something that’s good to drink at that bar.

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thrwwy2267899@reddit

Personally I love talking to strangers at bars, but I’m an extrovert

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Sloth_grl@reddit

Sit at a bar and just talk to the people next to you. If there are sports on, that’s a good icebreaker

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Jdawn82@reddit

Introducing yourself is fine but watch body language and back off if they’re uncomfortable

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Gertrude_D@reddit

This is what bars are made for. Depending on what your goals are, just chose the bar accordingly. I worked at a restaurant/bar and later at night the regulars would come in. They sat at the bar instead of a table and they were there to socialize. Granted, they skewed older, but it was good friendly conversation. If you try a place and the vibes are off, try another place or just turn and talk to someone down the bar. If you're looking to pick someone up, that's a different beast.

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Eric848448@reddit

There is nothing more American than this. Do it!

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bjanas@reddit

Yeah you can do that. My strategy when I'm flying solo and just chat with the people around me, rather than approaching and saying "Hi, my name is bjanas, may I talk with you?"

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JohnHenryMillerTime@reddit

Yeah, it is absolutely acceptable. You will know pretty quickly if they are receptive. If they give terse one word answers and keep turning away from you that is a "no". It is rude to press. But a lot of people (probably around 50%) will be receptive.

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Only_Presentation758@reddit

Ok unless it is 1 or 2 girls/women, then it will seem like you are trying to hit on them. Also don’t barge up and interrupt people that are talking to each other. Otherwise sure, they may find you interesting or charming or even take you under their wing to hang out with, introduce you around, etc. Just be sure to read social cues: if one of them seems annoyed, move on.

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wittyrepartees@reddit

Pick your bar carefully. But if it seems lively and there are people crowded around the bar- go for it. Don't approach people sitting at tables, or people who look like they're there with a date.

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GOTaSMALL1@reddit

I hope not cause... that's what I do

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RTGlen@reddit

There are relatively few places in American culture where it's perfectly accepted to talk to total strangers. They include bars, churches, and sports events. Otherwise, people will suspect you're looking to convert them to your religion or get money from them.

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moonwalkinginlowes@reddit

Bars are for meeting people! We love talking :)

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Not_an_okama@reddit

Chat soneone up at the bar, that perfectly normal.

Just dont "trap" them in the convo. Id also avoid just going up to a big group, they likely came to hang out together. Youll have better luck making friends at the physical bar counter than at the tables.

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TsundereLoliDragon@reddit

If I'm sitting at the bar or standing, yeah sure. I do it too. If I'm sitting at a table, probably not.

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Queasy-Ad-9930@reddit

I would love that

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Arleare13@reddit

If you’re going to do that anywhere, a bar is the place.

My one suggestion would not to be totally random, but to start the conversation for a particular reason, even if a contrived one. Depends on the type of bar, but comment on what’s on the TV, or the song that’s playing, or ask how the drink they ordered is, etc.

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grooveman15@reddit

Former bartender here… it’s completely cool to do BUT do read the room. If you sense that they’re not receptive, stop.

Overall though? It’s completely acceptable and normal thing to do

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hrdbeinggreen@reddit

Also find bars that maybe have trivia nights or darts and see if you can join a team

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mrshinebox@reddit

Where are you from? If someone came up to me and randomly introduced themselves with no previous interaction, I’d think that they were trying to sell me something. If it was a foreigner though, I would understand that they were trying to be friendly.

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ShesGotaChicken2Ride@reddit

lol in a bar??

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donuttrackme@reddit

No, it's always worth a shot. But it also depends on where you're doing it. You just need to read the room a bit. Most people wouldn't mind chatting it up at a bar, but there are definitely people out there that just want to be left alone.

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ChessieChesapeake@reddit

American here. I’m a natural introvert, but I have no problem talking to anyone at any time. It took me a while to come out of my shell when I was younger, but then I came to the realization that the vast majority of people I run into, I will never see again, so I really shouldn’t get hung up on what anyone thinks and just be my natural awkward self. The very few that accept my awkwardness and stick around become friends. The great thing about talking to strangers you’ll never see again is you get to hear great stories, without the emotional commitment.

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Tricky-Foundation-90@reddit

It would be weird to come right out with your name at a bar. A party, yes. At a bar names are usually exchanged after a lengthy conversation.

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ShesGotaChicken2Ride@reddit

As long as they’re not seated at a table (bar & grill) type situation. If they’re sitting up at the bar, you can certainly strike up a conversation with them! You can start by something like, “Hey, what’s up, man? I’m Nick. I’m new to the area. You guys know of any places around here to do __ activity?”

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Queer_Advocate@reddit

Pretty fucking normal.

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Little_Duck90@reddit

Certainly! I'd stick with safe topics though. Avoid religion and politics. We love to talk about sports, especially football, arguing about the best place to eat (who has the best pizza, or cheese steak, for example) books and movies.

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mmmkay938@reddit

Go for it.

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sysaphiswaits@reddit

Totally normal here. People usually go to bars to hang out with people and meet people.

I’d suggest finding the kind of bars that match up with your interests.

I work in theaters and am usually more comfortable in snobby wine bars. But my husband loves soccer, and sports bars are super fun!

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malachite_13@reddit

No it’s normal.

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RandyArgonianButler@reddit

I think most Americans would find this to be a pleasant experience!

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aPrincy@reddit

This is normal most places- you don’t even have to be at a bar.

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ScooterGirl810@reddit

I see a wide range in Americans. We do have an issue esp with younger people where they don’t know how to start conversations with people they know, but I feel like the people that really have a problem with that won’t go to bars.

Just do it. There is a chance some people will get weird, but then you know those aren’t your people. You will find people though.

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Weary_Capital_1379@reddit

It’s ok

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Rare-Analysis3698@reddit

Yeah, it depends a bit on the bar but Americans are defensive toward strangers even in social areas. We usually infer an ulterior motive

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Temporarily-Fixed@reddit

I love talking to random strangers everywhere I’d say it’s incredibly midwestern but still very American in general to do it

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AnybodySeeMyKeys@reddit

Well, here's a surefire conversation starter: "So, I'm new to town (Like you couldn't tell). What do you guys do for fun around here?"

There you go. First, humor. Second, you're appealing to local pride. Americans love to help visitors.

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tommyjohnpauljones@reddit

No. I might be uncomfortable but that's a me problem.

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smoot__galoot@reddit

Not even a little, that is generally very welcome in the US, especially at bars. A lot of foreigners seem to think our friendliness is fake just because that’s not the norm in their countries. They’re wrong, we generally genuinely love interacting with friendly strangers, especially if they’re tourists from another country. That said, depending on where you’re traveling, there’s a decent chance someone will invite you to their home for a meal or even to stay a night, if that happens, understand that the offer is genuine and if you’re comfortable with it, go ahead and join them, but they will totally understand if that idea makes you uncomfortable and it won’t be offensive or anything to turn the offer down.

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JinNJ@reddit

Random conversations with random people are my jam. Especially over a beer.

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Frequent-Bobcat-4041@reddit

Whether its ok or not depends on the person youre attempting to start a convo with. My personal rule is: if in doubt, just dont.

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BloodOfJupiter@reddit

It's pretty normal, but don't expect everyone to be up for conversation. Don't be surprised if someone can talk forever either,

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dankpossum@reddit

Don't walk up to a table or booth and insert yourself.

At the bar, it's usually just fine especially if the bartender is chatty with those seated at the bar. Sit at least a stool away from people unless it's packed and/or super loud. Especially if you're a man. Another man doesn't want a stranger up close out of nowhere and a woman certainly doesn't. Best to not approach a couple close to your own age, though. Dudes can be weird at bars with their significant others.

Overall, if you aren't obnoxious and don't touch anyone right off the bat, I think you'll be fine.

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SnapHackelPop@reddit

When I strike up a chat I do it with people also sitting at the bar, going up to a table of people less so. Sitting right at the bar feels like a communal space. Depends on the vibe of the place too.

Sometimes people aren’t in the mood to chat with strangers though, you kinda gotta gauge it by how much effort they put in to keep the conversation going

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count_busoni@reddit

The bar is the most normal place to strike up conversations with strangers

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Donald_J_Duck65@reddit

It's not normal and kinda weird.

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Thecrabbylibrarian@reddit

Yes, perfectly acceptable!

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CosyBeluga@reddit

It’s normal. Bars are kinda a spot to hangout and chat with randoms

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SubstantialPressure3@reddit

I'm American and I badly introduce myself and start talking to Americans in bars, too.

Sometimes it's fine, they are awkward,.too. Sometimes they aren't interested in talking. It's hit or miss.

It's not bad.

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oremfrien@reddit

Sure. That’s perfectly fine; just say, something like “Hi, I’m u/NoComplex2662. How are you?” If you want to be clear that you’re not a local, you can add, “I’m from out of town.”

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Dizzy_Dust_7510@reddit

You know that whole stereotype that Americans are overly friendly and talkative. It's real. Chat up whoever you like. It's usually easier to have an "in" to the conversation rather than just an introduction. But, depending on where you're from your accent will do that for you. It is generally easier to talk to single people rather than a group

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