Really feeling the "rinse and repeat" stage of life

[-]

richvide0@reddit

I hear ya. M-F our lives are basically Groundhog Day. We work at the same place. We have the same routine every single week day.

But we plan a bunch of things. Right now we’ve got about 10 not-expensive concerts we are going to throughout the summer and I made a list of a bunch of day trips I’d like to take within an hour of our home.

We have enough little things to do that when we have a “nothing” weekend, it’s welcomed. Hell, I even have “put out hummingbird feeders” on our calendar for May 2nd. A day to celebrate that we’re really looking forward to!

Basically, I really enjoy planning things to look forward to. We even have a big chalkboard in our kitchen where I made a three-month calendar where we write all the things we have planned. It’s fun to see everything right there.

[-]

lady8godiva@reddit

Where are you located? May might be too late for our little feathered friends. I rushed to put mine out this weekend when I realized they are already in south eastern PA and likely very hungry! Check the migration map for your area if you want to be sure.

[-]

richvide0@reddit

In our area the general first sightings (New England) are early May.

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fireflypoet@reddit

One summer I got season tickets to a professional theatre venue in a scenic area about an hour's drive away. I planned simple but fancy picnics we could take to be eaten before each play at a different location (there are tons of parks in the area, with waterfalls, streams etc.). We had a wonderful time. I got to use an elaborate portable picnic kit I had found at a thrift shop in mint condition.

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Prestigious-Dirt-95@reddit

I love this!! Little things give you something different to look forward to. Minor league sports are a great less expensive alternative, local playhouses put on great shows. Small cafes/bars often have great local artist. I’m pretty cheap but there are still so many things you can enjoy that don’t break the bank.

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richvide0@reddit

I've shouted from the rooftops for years about how fun minor-league sports are. I've been a season ticket holder for independent baseball leagues and have planned my summers around days where I can attend 2 baseball games in a day and still be home before the sun goes down.

And it's so fun seeing bands who have an "underground" following, who play at smaller venues. Sometimes they are band who have been around for years, so their really, really good live. Even if we had never heard of them, we'll get tickets and then listen to them on Spotify to familiarize ourselves. We usually sit right up front, high-five the band and then stick around to talk to them. It's very informal, so it's not like a bunch of rabid fans fawning over the artists. They take the time and talk like a real conversation. Sometimes I have to pull my wife away because they are trying to pack up lol.

I'd also like to add that being part of a CSA can be a much more enriching than just getting fresh veggies. Where we are, we pick up the veggies at the farm and get to talk to the owners, ask questions and just be around a nice group of people. We pick our own tomatoes, flowers, herbs, etc. So the price we pay isn't just for the produce, it's being part of a really nice community which greatly increases the value of our yearly membership. It's a really great way to spend a Saturday morning and that joy spills into the rest of the weekend.

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Glum-Poet5353@reddit

No lie, time is flying by. . Do something spontaneous, get out for a short day trip. Lunch , dinner or breakfast, get out and enjoy each other. Remember what made you attracted to her, how you couldn't be without her. That always works for me and makes me appreciate and be grateful for what I have.

[-]

marynofo@reddit

Pickleball and Bocce

[-]

RavenKnighte@reddit

Elder Gen-Xer here... I really wish I would get to that stage in my life. To have that kind of all-inclusive (emotional, social, financial) stability as the default rather than the variable. I never did like rollercoasters, and I wish I could get off of this one. I'm going to be 60 this year and I'm too damn old for this.

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DepartmentAgitated51@reddit

I was there 10 years ago, living life on autopilot. but hubby’s exposure to agent Orange decades ago caught up with him. Prostate cancer first, then 18 mos later lymphoma and leukemia. One year treatment and scans every three mos for one decade so now the monitoring scans and blood work can now go every 6 mos! Hurray! ….but not so fast, he’s developed aggressive bladder cancer. Just when we started to breathe, it crept up on us….

Point is, pull yourself from your life once a while to look at your life objectively and savor what you see and experience. Or even better, imagine getting the diagnosis like we did for 3 minutes (set a timer), and really go there until the timer dings. Now look at your spouse and family and jobs and feel the hit of dopamine when you realize you’re not living THAT life. That will break through the cruising (hedonic adaptation) in your life.

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Extra_Shirt5843@reddit

I'm just trying to picture babysitting grandkids in my early 50's. I'm turning 48 soon and my kid is 15. I hope there are no grandkids for at least a decade, 15 years would be better!

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jsosborn@reddit

Just turned 67 with a dream job running a very healthy non-profit in a field I really enjoy. Lots of international travel, all work from home, 6 weeks paid vacation, 13 weeks family leave, plus paid Fridays off all summer. Plan to stay till I’m 75 if health allows. Got recruited to fix this broken company 13 years ago and fixed it. I’m content.

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Miserable-Pudding-64@reddit

I feel like I’m never going to get there. Youngest is going off to college in August but my mom has suddenly become a part time job that I don’t really have time/energy for on top of my actual job. I dream of life getting a little more boring. Someday.

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witchofpain@reddit

Don’t dream too fast. I was my dad’s caretaker his last year of life. It was so hard. But I would now happily do it again if it meant i could talk to Him one more time.

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Possible-Practice351@reddit

I 100% feel this in my soul having just lost my dad in February.

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MrMosh024@reddit

I’m in a similar boat except I’m 51, no kids, no significant other, live by myself and a dog and cat. I wake up, I work (remote), play video games and go to bed. In between I walk my dog and eat. Rinse and repeat. My life is essentially on autopilot. I don’t do anything, get everything delivered. No interest in dating or going out.

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sarahs_here_yall@reddit

I just had a baby at 45 so hopefully life won't be boring for a while

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Sufficient_Bed335@reddit

OMG

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sarahs_here_yall@reddit

Ikr lmao

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AllReflection@reddit

Brave! I had my youngest at 39 and I feel like the old guy at parent conferences now that he’s 17.

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TaxiLady69@reddit

Oh my gosh. I became a grandparent at 39. My husband was 38. My grandson will be 10 this year, and I'll be 49 in a week.

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sarahs_here_yall@reddit

One of my best friends became a grandmother for the first time a couple weeks before I had my baby LOL

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VegasBjorne1@reddit

Try my 14 year old at my 62, and really feel like the old guy at the PTA meetings!

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sarahs_here_yall@reddit

I've had one person call me grandma (thanks Doris at his pediatricians office) and I immediately dyed my hair. I was ok with the grey before the baby but not now lol

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JustFaithlessness178@reddit

Congratulations!

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ProfessionalFlan3159@reddit

Ha. I'm 52 with twins going into high school in the fall. Had kids late in life

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Clueless5001@reddit

When I was 52 my twins were turning 11 and had other kids ages 13+ and I held twins back a year in school so was 60 when they went to college, husband was 2 years older

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Junior_Statement_262@reddit

not that late.

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Cannoli_724@reddit

52 and 11 year old here! With a 2 year old puppy too. With some career success we are fortunate enough to start adventuring close to home - bought a sailboat last year, and a log cabin in the woods this year. We both travel a lot for work, but the stocking closer to home adventures break us out of the monotony!

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Due_Bumblebee6061@reddit

48 with an 11 and 6 year old. Have never felt younger lol 😂

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Mysterious-Brain-639@reddit

50 with a six year old! Surprise at 44!

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DRG28282828@reddit

Yes. But I am bored!

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chamrockblarneystone@reddit

Plan trips. Big and small. Go to lunches and dinners, they don’t have to be expensive. Go for walks. Go to the beach. Read quietly. Watch your favorite shows.

Extreme downhill skiing is basically out. Enjoy the little things. Shit I still surf.

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Clueless5001@reddit

I never did extreme skiing but starting skiing again in January 2025 after a 30 year hiatus

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Environmental_Ride_8@reddit

You have to do different things. Novel experiences are why your younger years went by so much slower.

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Clueless5001@reddit

You may be right but I heard once it is about relative time. When you are 10, a year is 10% of your life, when you are 50 it is a much lower percentage (can’t do math), same with a day, which is why time seems to move faster

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analogousmistake@reddit

Retired early and moved to the EU. Going to be country hopping for the next several months while we find a place to settle for awhile. Nothing routine going on here.

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Buffyelton@reddit

Neighbors sold their $2 million home last month and bought a $400,000 home in small town in south of France. That’s their base until they have grandchildren.

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runnergirl0129@reddit

I get it but you can resist the rinse and repeat. Do something big and bold. You don’t have to settle into cruise control at this age! I learned how to backpack and walked a 212 mile trail in the Sierra Nevada range when I turned 55. I had never done anything like that before and it changed everything for me. The next year I went down to the Mexico border and started walking the Pacific Crest Trail, in 2-5 week segments. Finished it last year. I have three grown kids and an ailing husband who requires a lot of care and a full-time job. My mind is always anchored on the next cool adventure and I am manifesting by myself because my husband doesn’t share my interests. You don’t have to do everything with your spouse. My marriage is stronger because we give each other space to do our independent hobbies. Is there anything fantastical in your heart that you always wanted to try?

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juliedeee@reddit

You are an inspiration! Did you backpack on your own?

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runnergirl0129@reddit

I did. Met wonderful people out there but was solo for much of it

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EAJ810@reddit

Every day, all day

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Latter_Dish6370@reddit

I only wish - Enjoy it while life is “normal”.

Serious health issues and other life crises happen with no warning.

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gatorman98@reddit

I think of this. Once a medical issue hits - would love the boring we have now

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waderscum@reddit

May I recommend a nice bold flavor gummy. It goes well when pared with a brain. Things will be slow but fun.

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rangerover-411@reddit

Yep. I even miss the kids’ occasional “crisis” calls. 😉

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ChrysalisGirl25@reddit

I’m 57, husband died 8 months ago today six weeks after suffering a traumatic brain injury in a fall. Kids are 24 & just turned 18, high school senior, so I expect to be empty nesting within a few months. (The older one is looking for a ft job in his field, had graduated not long before the accident. I’m happy to have him living here to save $ - and I enjoy his company- but I know it’s short- term.) so I’m thinking intentionally now about how I want to build in activities - hobbies, volunteering and socializing with my friends. I don’t expect to retire until after younger finishes undergrad. Looking forward to that cruising altitude stage because the past nine months have been brutal.

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Dry_Willingness_9977@reddit

Im so sorry for your loss, sending hugs

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peprjak24@reddit

I hope life gets better for you day by day. These last months of traumatic change are not what the future horizon really looks like. And I hope you have a good support network for the especially low days. Grief is not linear and doesn't always make sense.

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ChrysalisGirl25@reddit

Thank you. Yes, we also lost a beloved cat and had to put our dog to sleep in the timeframe since the accident. I’m in awe of how strong the kids are, but have to agree with the younger when he said, “I’m so fucking tired of being resilient!”

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Junior_Statement_262@reddit

Yikes, I'm so sorry for your loss. That's so hard....

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HewDewed@reddit

I’m so sorry for your loss. May your husband’s memory always be for blessing.
It sounds like you have a solid plan for the future.
I hope your good memories sustain you for many years to come.
{{Hugs}}

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gatorman98@reddit

Sandwich time. Taking care of teenager and parents. Fml.

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DSBS18@reddit

Me too.

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Junior_Statement_262@reddit

OMG, I'd say enjoy the simple day to day!! I was doing just that, then BOOM: parental health emergencies, one after the other. All I want now is that calm/boring/steady life back. Count your blessings, always.

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stellapiller@reddit

I am just on the other side of this. Hang in there.

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Odd-Dragonfruit-3074@reddit

I get it. Sometimes I find myself singing "is that all there is, is that all there is... " a la Homer Simpson and giggle.

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waterguy45@reddit

A good friend is nice told me “you have the gogo years, slow go years, then the no go years”. Take advantage of those gogo years while you can.

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vagabondoer@reddit

Time for some mushrooms to put things in perspective.

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Clothes-Excellent@reddit

Do something different, that's my plan.

I'll be 65 in May and this fall semester the plan is to start on a geology degree.

Then I've been following Truck House Life on utube so I'm going to set up my old 99 F350 like that and travel out West and see/ explore everything I'm studying.

Had also been following Dersert Drifter, but he passed from a vehicle accident. But his videos are still up to follow where he explored.

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Wrong_Hair6186@reddit

For my husband and I (around your same age) this is our "adventure era". We're doing all the things and eating at all the places we couldn't afford back when the kids were little. I love art, so every couple of months I fly out to New York or DC for the day and visit the museums. I know my mobility will be more of an issue as I age so I'm taking advantage of all the opportunities I can! Especially because we have no grandkids yet.

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Grreatdog@reddit

Buy a house that needs renovating while you are living in it. Then you can wake up to a fresh hell everyday.

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zorasrequiem@reddit

Our fairly new house just decided it didn't like the ceramic tiles and exploded them in glorious fashion under the sofa. We now have to demo the entire downstairs floor. I feel your pain.

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EverythingScrolling@reddit

How? Genuinely curious.

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zorasrequiem@reddit

We're not entirely sure. House was built 5 years ago during a massive winter storm in TX, and built on black prairie soil. They were whipping out houses as fast as possible and cutting corners. So we *think that it's a combination of them not setting the tile down right, and the foundation shifting a bit. We have no foundation cracks. Our flooring guy said this is happening a lot in this neighborhood , and he would never put ceramic tile in a house on that soil. I saw a crack in the tile, stepped near it to see and the floor made a huge Pop/crack sound and tented upward, and it's spreading.

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Small_Palpitation898@reddit

I have a home that had ceramic tile laid down in the kitchen. As you walked across you could hear some tiles had an air pocket underneath causing a hollow thump. I stopped too hard and it broke. Soon others were breaking close by. Could a similar issue.

When I tore up the tile I also found massive cracks in my foundation which required leveling the floor. I wound up renovating the entire first floor.

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zorasrequiem@reddit

I hear the same hollow tiles scattered all over. I sincerely hope we don't find the same issues! Sorry you had to go through that.

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Sir_PressedMemories@reddit

Your baseboards look like they are caulked tight to the floor with no room for expansion.

I bet a combination of the wood around the perimeter swelling and the tile heating up and expanding a bit caused a lot of compression stress in the tile, and that pressure had to go somewhere.

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zorasrequiem@reddit

It's hard to see in that pic but that's quarter round bead (sorry if the term is wrong). They didn't caulk much in there, if at all. But I don't know what I don't know!

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tinpants44@reddit (OP)

Yeah we have a room that needs rehab but the effort of emptying it and the loss of it for weeks makes me not want to start.

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lolmyspacewhooers@reddit

Boohoo. Have you ever considered just starting on it instead of crying on Reddit for pity from strangers?

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GenX-ModTeam@reddit

{community_rule_3}

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Legal-Hair-7095@reddit

My son just moved out. Starting to slowly renovate after i last renovated 20+ years ago. Mostly just fixing small issues in a very old house. But there are lots of small issues.

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Sir_PressedMemories@reddit

My best friend and his girlfriend were over here to play games last night.

I was showing him something on my phone and flipped to a different screen, and she said, "What's that?" so I showed her my to-do list.

I then scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled...

She got wide-eyed and just got up and gave me a giant hug and said, "Dude, you looked like you needed that; that is far too much for a single father to deal with".

I have been sitting with that a lot today, so I decided to actually just not do a lot today, instead of my original plans, I am only handling the top 5 or so items on the list if time permits.

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StreetFriendship1200@reddit

What’s DAMHIK?

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shinyshannon@reddit

Don't ask me how I know

[-]

Jasong222@reddit

Can't you just tell us what it is?

^^^/s

[-]

ScottDoesWashington@reddit

We’re NOT asking how they know, just what it means /s

[-]

shinyshannon@reddit

🤣

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StreetFriendship1200@reddit

Oh ok lol

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skylinesend@reddit

Took me a minute - i think it's Don't Ask Me How I Know

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StreetFriendship1200@reddit

Lol

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EverythingScrolling@reddit

Don't Ask Me How I Know

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punishing1@reddit

Don't Ask Me How I Know

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JoeHaveman@reddit

We sold our house in the suburbs because we could no longer afford the suburbs. We now live in a small town in Texas and bought a house for $60k. I was able to do all of the demo, drywall, floors, painting myself. I hired out the ceilings and the plumbing. And one major electrical wire. My mortgage went from several thousand dollars down to several hundred dollars. Best decision we ever made. But I also work remote. And she’s a teacher. I told her we can live anywhere. I know that’s a luxury that most do not have but I know it’s a luxury that more of us could have if we just did it.

The cost of living in the city, is at least twice what it is in the small towns. I have so many stories about plumbing bills and small odd jobs. That would’ve cost me 5 to 7 times back in the city.

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Extra-Sound-1714@reddit

I wish I was, I am jealous to be honest. Enjoy it, go on holiday, go out places.

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SigmaSeal66@reddit

I'm finally getting to devote serious time to the hobbies I dabbled in literally for more than 40 years, but was never previously able to justify the time to do it right and see how good I could really be. Find your passion.

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Small_Palpitation898@reddit

Honestly, I wish I was there right now. My career is in so much turmoil, both my parents are in their 80s with health issues, my MIL has health issues, my SIL is diagnosed with cancer, my wife is going back to college, AND I still have 3 teenage kids living with me still.

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These-Analysis-6115@reddit

I call that the "Time to make the doughnuts" stage of life.

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97_gEEk@reddit

I already made the donuts! 🤣

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These-Analysis-6115@reddit

I am always saying, "Did I make the donuts? I can't remember if I made the donuts!" 😂

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Dear_Mess_1617@reddit

This.

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Glittering-Ad-6266@reddit

Get an old Volkswagen, or 2. Kinda works for me

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OE2KB@reddit

59, retired at 57 with the wife. Babysit grandson 2-3 times a week, I hated the winter, but come Spring I’m out and doing a lot, esp this year with a big raised veg garden. Wife knew I would need “a place” when we acquired her mother’s home, so I ordered red d a 12’x 24’ shed, finished it like a house, and it is a pub and music space. Homemade beers on four taps, full liqueur bar, great audio setup, plus my bass and acoustic guitar. A 55” smart TV, recliners, oak bar….

I’m living quite well.

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Brilliant_Park_2882@reddit

Sounds good I'll be there soon.

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RelativeMorning8864@reddit

Can I come hang out with you ? Lol

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Altruistic-Panda-697@reddit

Yep - same here. So we jumped into early retirement at 58 in January this year. We moved across the country to be near the grandkids. I’m volunteering and staying busier than when I was working. Every day is a new adventure! I highly recommend this course of action to break out of those doldrums!

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atcwillf@reddit

Don't bow to "rinse and repeat" - that just speeds up the clock. I'm 57 and both kids are out of the house. Two years ago I trained for and completed STP - Seattle to Portland on a bicycle (205 miles in one day). Two months ago, I was offered and accepted a work opportunity to do extended (probably 18-24 months) temporary duty in backwoods-adjacent Alaska. Now I'm looking out the window at snow and ice, looking forward to Salmon fishing season, and wondering when the Grizzlies and wolves will appear. There's adventure and new experiences to be had, so do your best to climb out of the rut and go find some.

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Pinkfish0704@reddit

Amazing!

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Bill4711@reddit

Go for a walk everyday. 20 to 30 minutes. Just reconnect with nature a bit :)

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Chad_Hooper@reddit

Yep. Days and nights blend together in my memory.

Was that what I ate tonight, or yesterday?

But I still remember when my favorite albums came out.

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Distinct_Disk_1610@reddit

I’m single, childless, and 49 and feeling this. I have fun hobbies that I’ve done for years. I took up a new hobby last year (mushroom and medicinal and edible plant foraging). I take a couple of awesome vacations a year. But I definitely feel like time is escaping. I feel present in my experiences, so that’s not it…

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Empty_Nestor@reddit

We (M 57, F 60) just retired and we’re definitely in a weird phase. I had heart surgery in early February and spent a couple months recovering, which took up most of our days, but now that I’m back to my old self, a lot of days seem exactly the same. Luckily we have a new grandbaby (our first) to occupy our time and attention, but we’ve been having a lot of discussions lately on how we both need to come up with a plan on how to fill our days.

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125acres@reddit

We 50 with 1 in college, one soon to be and then we have the bonus baby that is 11.

We have to make new friends as current social network are all empty nesters.

There is nothing like meeting people that are closer in age with your oldest, than yourself.

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Metagion@reddit

Yes, only my kids are still home & no grandkids (I don't think we'll get any, either. My son is aspie and my daughter ADHD/Bi polar Depression, and they don't even want to date let alone get married!)

I'm just mentally tired. Just turned 57 and my body just wants to stop. (Husband's, too.)

"Is this all there is?"

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eats23s@reddit

If that’s all there is, then let’s keep dancing.

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PrincessPharaoh1960@reddit

Let’s break out the booze and have a ball

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Metagion@reddit

"Let's find a band to dance to while the bombs drop."

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Brilliant_Park_2882@reddit

gif

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socialmediaignorant@reddit

This movie has been instrumental in shaping my life. I will do something different just to make my day different and hope it’s for the better.

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element-2012@reddit

Yes. It's good to have "novel experiences" to help slow that furiously flipping calendar. I've read this is why time moves more slowly for the younger crowd, all of life is more novel for them. If financially feasible, shoot for an international trip sometime soon. If not feasible, try to find some way to have novel experiences with some regularity. Take some kind of class/experience together, smaller road trips, get a puppy, etc.

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OutHereToo@reddit

Yeah, sounds like OP is in a good spot to stretch out and try something new or go back to something that was pushed aside in the business of careers and kids.

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TheCheat-@reddit

Enjoy this time of tranquility. I used to feel the same way and had to remind myself that there was beauty in stability when I started to chafe against the sameness. Then I lost my wife in February and now I would give literally anything to have more boring days with her.

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Camaschrist@reddit

I am really sorry, I wish I could do something to help your pain. It was so recent too. Hang in there❤️

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Blue_Henri@reddit

♥️

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drivingthelittles@reddit

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans - John Lennon

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Revolutionary_Bee700@reddit

I’m having the opposite issue. I look at how stable and happy I am and sit up at night wondering when disaster will steal my peace.

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Alienspacedolphin@reddit

I feel this- hard.

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jakexcited45@reddit

At 51, im super grateful that I get to wake up and do it again. Life might have its boredoms but find one golden nugget a day and at the end of the week you will be living a rich life.

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ComprehensiveShip720@reddit

Well said

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InadmissibleHug@reddit

I am and I love it!

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Financial-Sentence93@reddit

Keep the powder dry, my friends. As I often say of the grown children and grands: You might see them less, but they cost you more!

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Silverutterby@reddit

Definitely. When I wake up I say "Wake up and do it again today" 🤣

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aharryh@reddit

This is the premium stage of life; start planning for retirement. Any major house renovations, repairs, or downsizing should be done now. If you plan on staying, update your major appliances, HVAC etc if any are quite old. Start to downsize your "stuff". Take photos of kids’ artwork and get family photos notated so you know who's in them and when they were taken. Stick them all in albums. Update wills and document all your assets and instructions of what you want to happen should either of you pass. That lot will keep you busy for the next 3-5 years.

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Lcky22@reddit

Me too. The speed is scary at times for me but I also can’t complain about lots of great memories blending together.

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iggyazalea12@reddit

It’s so boring but also kind of a content time. Our level playing field got a little jarred by a significant but manageable health complication. Enjoy it. It won’t last forever

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ErnestBatchelder@reddit

Even though you say the kids are grown, reminds me of this.

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Sufficient_Bed335@reddit

From the perspective of a 73 yr old. I was bopping along, headed to retirement. Retired at 63, travelled, then BAM! 4 traumatic health issues. So, get outside. Walk in nature if you can. You have no guarantees. I’ve already lost 4 of my animal house buddies. Do as much as you can now.

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Healthy-Goal878@reddit

Sorry for the losses of the animal companions, good advice!

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Janetsvoid@reddit

The key to beating this, is learning new things and trying new things. If you do the same things over and over it all blends together, if you try new things time goes by slower.

Thats what ive discovered, no kids, 39 years old. Similar situation as you.

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casualgeography@reddit

100%. Even if it’s simple things like walks in new parks. Randomly choosing new restaurants. Get a museum membership and regularly stop in after work for 20 minutes. Go to see a new local musician at a cafe. Do these little things now and it will spark new interests you might want to really invest in during retirement.

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Janetsvoid@reddit

Exactly. My wife and I having no kids have come to this conclusion sooner than normal, but it really does make a big difference. We buy tickets to food festivals, beer festivals, drive to a new city for a fancy restaurant and stay a night, it's really made a big difference in how fast time goes by.

[-]

Kershiser22@reddit

I'm 54, and for the past 5 years or so, as my workday ends on Friday afternoon I find myself thinking "welp, another year of my life just passed".

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Solid-Wish-1724@reddit

Yep, same right here. Then I wake up on Monday and think, "Here we go again."

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Ok-Reflection-6207@reddit

No, I was ready for it though!! But last September my darling husband found out he had a brain tumor(yes glioblastoma, brain cancer). So I’ve been watching him decline since then. I’m 44, married for 17 years. Kids almost done growing up, youngest is 14.. Sorry if this is a downer but omg the cruising altitude stage sounds AMAZING. 🥲

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starsskies@reddit

I’m sorry. 😔

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wyohman@reddit

Glioblastoma is one of the worst things that can happen to anyone. I wish you the best!

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Academic_Airport_889@reddit

Sorry you are going through that. It’s not fair 😢

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Trav-326@reddit

I agree with the sense of time sliding by. My way to address this is twofold:

1) Make clear, distinct memories with small endevours. Example: get on Youtube, find a baking or savory recipes to master - Philly hoagie roll, Japanese shokupan bread, etc - and keep at it until I understand the science and technique behind it.

2) Get in some legit physical exertion to "earn my rest / sleep". Get off my ass, resist the 3pm fade, go on a hike. The worst thing is to end the day knowing I was just a lazy ass doomscrolling or watching pet talking vids, and then having that mental restless buzz when trying to get to sleep.

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ConcertinaTerpsichor@reddit

Hear, hear!!

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prisongranny@reddit

I retired from my 9-5 early and am moving to the tropics to fish and regain control of my physical health. I cannot sit around watching myself grow old.

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chinacatlady@reddit

Love that! Moving abroad was the best thing I did for my health, mental and physical.

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prisongranny@reddit

That's my next plan! once the kids are out of college!

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iaMBictrochee@reddit

Enjoy the time!

And if either of you have aging parents please reach out to them! Especially if a sibling is their caregiver, give that sibling a day off!

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Chiccheshirechick@reddit

It’s really not … you are so LUCKY to have this.

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TravelerMSY@reddit

Are you close to having enough money? Start working less.

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1234RedditReddit@reddit

I totally get this. I ended up moving to a new state and started over and it’s a new adventure. Otherwise—I would have been stuck in this cycle. Sometimes, you have done all you can do and it’s time for a change.

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eloiseturnbuckle@reddit

Ditto. We upended our lives and moved 2 hours north. We have to learn all new routes, shopping, all the stuffs. Has been much more interesting. We are 57 and 60.

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1234RedditReddit@reddit

Yes! And new people to meet and new stuff to join. And you get to leave behind any drama from your old town. lol

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eloiseturnbuckle@reddit

You know kind of. We lived in the same city for over 30 years and neighborhood of 20. Just got crowded and loud with population growth. We moved into the sticks where we can’t see neighbors!

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1234RedditReddit@reddit

Never a bad idea! 😆

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RedDirtWitch@reddit

My kids are grown and I’m single at 51. I started hiking more in the last year, and am becoming a pretty serious hiker. I’m getting into camping solo, which took a lot of mental preparation to do. I’m taking classes to learn new things. The day to day is still kind of blah sometimes, but I like to mix things up by getting food after work and going someplace pretty outside to eat it (weather permitting). Going driving around and taking photos of sunsets or storm clouds. Or seeing a show in the middle of the week. Just something that isn’t my usual. I’m enjoying life a little more lately because of it.

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formercotsachick@reddit

We just keep doing new things to keep things lively.

My husband and I (both 55) really only traveled to see family when our daughter was young, so now that she's grown and out of the house we take one big trip and 3-4 small trips every year. We also took up paddling last summer, and have had a blast finding lakes and rivers to spend the day on the water. We also try to do one 5K each month from May - September each year.

When we were 50 we both encountered some scary health issues - my husband had a heart attack and I got colon cancer. After we both recovered, we made a conscious decision to try to experience all we can in the years we have left together.

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RCA2CE@reddit

The next phase is coming and it’s something to mentally be ready for

Retirement is like a jolt

If you have been very career centric now you have to redefine yourself

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Aggravating-ErrorME@reddit

I was incredibly fortunate enough to be able to retire at 48. I always thought that's what I wanted. It lasted 10 months before I went back to work. Five years later, the startup I joined has just been acquired so I'm heading back to the retirement game. Going to try and make it stick this time but it does sort of paralyze me thinking about it.

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Altruistic-Part6071@reddit

54, have a tough manual, outside job, that's creating havoc with my body. I won't have enough to retire until I'm 65. I dread my job every day. Life's not certain atm.

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ErnieHi@reddit

I feel you. I was in the same boat for 32 years but was able to take my pension at 53 and switch to a part time situation that isn’t so hard on my body.

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Apprehensive_Boat516@reddit

My wife died. You need a real perspective on what you have before it is gone.

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Flashy_Quality_629@reddit

You are right. I'm 75 and was married for 49 years. My wife died 3 years ago at 68. I would give anything to go back to our life at ages 62 and 58 even though it may have been boring. We were great at doing nothing.

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MountainPlanet@reddit

I’m so sorry to hear that. I hope you are okay, or at least as okay as one can be in grief.

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Apprehensive_Boat516@reddit

Doing as well as you could expect starting over by myself.

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scruzgurl@reddit

My husband died 1.5yrs ago and I was going to say the same. Life is short and often wasted. Find something you both enjoy and go do it, whether that is hiking, shopping, or sports. If you can afford to do it, travel, even if it is just a mini road trip. Cherish the moments you have together now before you can’t any longer.

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scrpprgirl@reddit

My husband passed 3 years ago at the age of 52. It is amazing how naive we are before we lose them. I was just as naive before my world fell down. It’s so sad we don’t realize what’s important until it’s too late but that’s the way it goes. We get so caught up in everyday things we forget how fragile it really is😔

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AlterNate@reddit

We just went through those happy years. Now we're 70 with challenging health issues. Enjoy the cruise while it lasts - the landing is a bitch!

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Ok_Tanasi1796@reddit

It’s amazing be because after all you’ve experienced & been through you realize this is “it.”😒

gif

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RealisAurelioS@reddit

There was a movie made about 20 years ago titled The Great New Wonderful. It's made up of four short stories but one of them stars Olympia Dukakis as an elderly woman struggling with the ho hum, rinse and repeat of everyday life with her husband. One day she bumps into an old school mate who stirs feelings in her that she thought were long buried. I won't give away the ending but for me, it was very moving.

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Then_Discussion8809@reddit

I was there about a decade ago. What we did was plan trips. Europe 18 months out gives you time to save and a good year plus of planning. Watching YouTube videos, reading books about places you might visit. That is what worked for us.

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psp8@reddit

Enjoy the cruising altitude! You have more time and money than you ever had and have earned your spot. Cherish the grand kiddos and think of all our friends and family that didn’t make it this far- they would have loved to be in your shoes. Remember, the happiest people don’t have it all-they are happy with what they have!

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squeakybeak@reddit

Time, sure. Money, no. Never earned more in my life, yet felt poorer.

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norfolkgarden@reddit

Time to take much more stock of how you are spending it. Hopefully, a lot of it is going into savings.

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SnooFloofs9998@reddit

Yea,but it reminds me that l learned that you should not have to have drama and bad shit happen to you to be able to be able to appreciate the peaceful,stress free times. Congratulations.👍🏼

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Helpful-Drag6084@reddit

I feel this way and I’m 34(f). No kids and divorced

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KartQueen@reddit

Everytime I find myself at this stage something happens. I got divorced, I went back to school for my masters, I got fired. Neverending roller-coaster.

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Practically_Hip@reddit

Same same same. The second divorce brought clarity for me. Hahahaha.

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Beyond_the_Matrix@reddit

I say enjoy and make the most out of this time.

Because soon you'll be in the stage where all your friends are dying. No joke. And yes, we can all die at any age. But there is a certainly a higher percentage of deaths among peers/friends as we age.

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AgonizingGasPains@reddit

I had a desktop "countdown timer" widget on my PC desktop set for age 62. I ended up beating it by almost exactly 800 days. If you are invested, "getting close" and just can't take the BS anymore, talking to your financial advisor may be pleasantly surprising.

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CousinBarnabas1967@reddit

I have a daily countdown timer to retirement on my Alexa Show 15, just flipped to 3999 days from today 😐

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73VW-Todd@reddit

A lot of us feel this way. I'm 47 and my daughter is in her last year of high school. We're going to sell the house and move into our FIRST HOUSE that we still own and rent out as soon as my daughter is in college. We can already tell that the crazy hustle-bustle is going to die down. I'll still work, my wife will stop working... we're going to want to reinvent ourselves. I have a ton of hobbies, but you need to consider this your "next step" in life... and what do you want to do with it? You need to figure that out... it can be crazy, it can be bold... but it needs to fit in your budget, and your wife has to be OK with it. But humans are explorers by nature... so go do something interesting!

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LayerNo3634@reddit

Yes, but we mix it up every so often with field/day trips in between vacations. We're retired, so we have to plan activities so we don't just sit at home.

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EnjoyingTheRide-0606@reddit

I was afraid of this happening to me. My kid is estranged (homeless drug addict). So I made hobbies: golf, billiards, and I volunteer. I also have pet turtles, and love my boyfriend’s 4 grandkids. I have 8 years to practice before this is my fulltime life!

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blew_belle@reddit

I'm so sorry about your son. My son is almost 30 and it's been one thing after another since he was 13. We have tried everything and are fighting the rock bottom still.

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itgoesineasy@reddit

We are in exactly the same place. Unfortunately our grandkids are too far away to spend as much time with them as we’d like. But we have another on the way that will be closer.

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blew_belle@reddit

Are your parents still alive? As the primary caregivers to both of our remaining parents, things didn't feel this way until they both passed. And then I got cancer but now at 55/57 finally at this stage. And yes it's better than I thought!

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Not-a-Kitten@reddit

Sounds peaceful. Are your parents alive and healthy? Or already passed? That is a very difficult chapter. Enjoy the “boring” years.

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stefczech@reddit

💯

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Head-Nectarine-1821@reddit

I'm definitely at this stage and loving it! I've been through enough turbulence to last two lifetimes and I'm grateful to be leveled out at cruising altitude. There always minor concerns but I'm enjoying the calm smooth ride right now. I know eventually it'll get crazy again health wise but at the moment I'm good.

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Street-Avocado8785@reddit

Yup. And I enjoy it! Been planning exotic vacations and doing things for me. Got rid of toxic people. Living as I please. Wonderful

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Doorknob6941@reddit

I sometimes forget I'm 56 and need to be thinking seriously about retirement.

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SoCal7s@reddit

Yes! But I’m trying to rinse & repeat happily.

I had more than my fair share of Animal House years. Now I have to workout & take stuff to stay healthy.

Part of the moment before the repeat is thinking of everyone in my 58 years & 5 months who can’t repeat - not just death, but physical or mental or just an old mentality Then I dedicate my next repeat to the homies that aren’t with me anymore.

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Beneficial-Astronaut@reddit

Try to savor it and put a positive spin on it. Because, sorry to say, there is always a disaster on the horizon where you will long for this period where you are afforded the luxury of taking a breather

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Few_Dragonfly3000@reddit

I’m 32 and at this stage.

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sugarfoot_light@reddit

At 74, I wish I had retired when we hit this stage, bought an RV and hit the road. Screw working for work’s sake.

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niff007@reddit

I feel this, but it doesn't bother me nearly as much as the "I only have 30 ish more winters to ski, and maybe 5 where I can do big stuff, I need to book that heli trip ASAP, but all my friends are busy" type of thoughts.

Being 53 and losing both my step and my dad this year both at 83 really has me thinking about my remaining years a lot lately.

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DovasTech@reddit

A lot of days I wonder “how many more times do I have to do this?” when thinking about everyday tasks like doing laundry, taking out the trash, watering plants or even brushing my teeth. Lol. The cycle never ends.

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Heatmiser70@reddit

We're pretty much there as well. Youngest still in college but the others are grown and out on their own. No grandkids yet. Work, come home, exercise, make dinner, watch a show together. Then pretty much the same the next day with a few other things mixed in. Like you say, not anything bad thankfully.

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n0neOfConsequence@reddit

I am trying to decide if I want to change jobs one more time or if I just “rinse and repeat” my way into retirement. My career hasn’t gone as well as hoped but I’m not sure I have the energy to make one last big move.

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JustMindinMyOwn198@reddit

I was feeling that way a bit back. A buddy showed me the tape measure trick

How long do you think you’re gonna live? Put the tape on the floor and lock it out at that many inches. I used 90

Now walk to your age in inches. Look back at the base of the tape measure. That’s how long you’ve lived. Now turn around and look to the end of the tape measure. That’s what you may have left if everything goes right and your prediction of death age was accurate

Very sobering so the BS stops and I’m doing way more things that I wanted to do… and not just the need to do with a ton of useless filler

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SeaConquest@reddit

Same concept.

https://a.co/d/0du9iEUD

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Flashy-Head-2298@reddit

Hobbies. Free adventures (hike, etc). Read. Volunteer.

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damageddude@reddit

Widower. WFH. One child on his own, the other in college but will be moving to off campus housing in the city her school is in. Rinse and repeat, unless I have something going on is an understatement. There were weeks I'd wake up and wonder what day it was this winter (pets usually get me up around 6).

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JoeHaveman@reddit

My wife and I are similar. Totally outside my comfort zone, we are doing some of our “someday” activities. (From the movie Knight and Day”). We got a small travel trailer that can be pulled by either of our vehicles. We are going out to state parks and federal lands. We are doing a month in Colorado. I can work remote and she is a teacher in the summer. We just added bikes.

I know at some point I won’t physically be able. But today I am and today we can afford this. Not Europe. Not second and third houses. This we could do and this we could afford it.

Don something on your list now. Don’t wait.

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tinpants44@reddit (OP)

We camp in the summer, go to amusement parks have fun. It's not like we are shut-ins, it's just the repetition of weekly life that becomes more pronounced when you don't have the variation of having young kids around all the time.

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FraGough@reddit

If you've not put the "having children around" mentality behind you, maybe volunteer for charities and organisations that look after or fulfil the needs of disadvantaged children? Nothing breeds a sense of purpose and value quite like a sense of helping others.

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AceZ1121@reddit

Try new hobbies, go dancing or take lessons, join a bowling league or something else. Maybe plan a weekly date night and try new restaurants or other places you always thought about going to. My bf and I try to go out on Fridays and try a new place each time.

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willingzenith@reddit

Nice! Which trailer is that? Was one of you more reluctant to try camping? I would need to do some convincing to get my wife to try it.

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JoeHaveman@reddit

It’s a Casita. A Texas brand. The Escape and the Oliver are also popular. And we did tent camping first to decide that we liked it. I did Boy Scouts and my wife Brownies. We had both been camping. As children. We quickly fell in love with it. And look forward to our weekends. Head out immediately after work on Friday and stay as long as we could on Sunday. Then we decided we wanted to go further and in all weather. This meant a small travel trailer. It was an easy decision now we are expanding what we are doing at the camps. Hiking. Biking. Maybe fishing.

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FI_321@reddit

I still have one in HS, but I’ve accumulated a lot of money over the years and I’m just going to have the time of my life spending it. I don’t need to work, so perpetual travel for a decade or more sounds good to me.

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Pristine_Giraffe7941@reddit

We have started traveling and there is always the fun of discussing our next adventure. It keeps life interesting for us.

We have also become more "foodie". Our date nights include new to us restaurants with cuisines we haven't tried before.

I'm 55 and husband is 52. This is our time to enjoy life after raising our son.

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_Rebel_Scum_77@reddit

My husband and I have been doing better meal outings too. Going the extra mile or 10 to a place well reviewed and new. It's been amazing!!

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Pristine_Giraffe7941@reddit

Our next new to us place we are going to try is an Indian/Italian fusion restaurant!

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_Rebel_Scum_77@reddit

Ooooooo ok! That sounds very interesting.

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mrpickleby@reddit

Go find new things to do. Go explore. Trying to surprise yourself.

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superfun5150@reddit

This. Your day to day life will be routine but do vacations or even just day trips to do something new at least a couple times a year. Those memories will stand out and make your year.

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Titi-Racoon@reddit

Yeup. 51 French Young Old Man can relate.

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Individual_Check_442@reddit

For sure. I’m 49 (don’t call me an Xennial I’m Gen-X!!!). Cruising altitude is a great way to put it. Like not complaining have a good life but like ok is this just it?

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pandmr1@reddit

Happens to all of us. We're in our 60s

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KilroySmithson@reddit

I tell my partner it feels like Groundhog Day every day now.

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justmypointofviewtoo@reddit

This is what I say about my job… and that I prefer it that way. (My job is relatively chaotic, but all always ends up working out, so…) Groundhog Day is fine by me.

You know what you’re getting with Groundhog Day.

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Bettersaids@reddit

Now is the time to learn the drums.

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hateriffic@reddit

Start booking milestones or bucket list things. 1 year. 18 months. 2 years out.

I have 3-4 things like that in the horizon to keep things flowing

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Kiwiatx@reddit

We’re in late 50’s but have been there a few years albeit with kids still in College and/or working and living at home.

I’m booking travel - lots of travel - Road trips and domestic and international travel, while there are people at home to feed the cats and there are no grandchildren so there is no obligation to look after any kids or to visit them. No more Staycations! We are both still working but utilising all PTO.

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joshua_addison_music@reddit

You need new experiences to slow the days down from flipping by so quickly.

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Maximum-Still-2484@reddit

Been empty nesters for a few months now. Definitely takes some getting used to. This will be the first Easter we’ll have neither kid home. Wife is taking it harder than I expected. Oh well, this is life.

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Dirty_G_5281@reddit

The fuck? Mid 50's still feel like 25. You all sound like our parents. FFS you are not dead yet. Go do something that scares the shit out of you. Drink from the hose. Something. Otherwise you are just another Geezer.

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GenX-ModTeam@reddit

{community_rule_3}

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CartographerTop6447@reddit

I am 57 and retired. Love my wife and my life. Just waiting for her to retire so we can spend more time together. I am not "stuck" in a routine. I do what I want when I want. My only problem is my body is starting to fall apart. I don't think there is anything I can do to slow down time. But I am going to enjoy it best I can.

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SunDog317@reddit

What was that Nirvana song? "I'm on a plain, I can't complain."? No kids, no more career or educational aspirations, same partner for 10+ years and we don't travel because we have special-needs pets and it's hard to find care for them. Just kind of existing. But also lucky in many ways and grateful. Both have decent jobs, a roof over our heads, decent health. What's next? Idk. I got an inflatable kayak to get out on some water, looking into DIY-ing some kind of camper van so we can take the pets with us and do some traveling while we're still able to. Trying to save for retirement but way behind like almost everyone else in our generation. Should save every penny but also want to enjoy life before the clock runs out.

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llamamystic@reddit

The “taking care of your aging parents “ chaos has not kicked in? Enjoy it while it lasts mate.

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Jerry-Lives22@reddit

I’m younger and that’s already been happening for the last few years. Trying to balance forward trajectory of my life while trying to figure out how to be ther for them

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Puckhead1973@reddit

Mine either fucked off and left 20 years ago or died. That’s one thing I get to miss the experience.

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BlueCupcake4Me@reddit

Yep. This is us. We shake up the schedule sometimes with a concert or social get together like book club or nights out with friends. We kind of like it. Our kids teenage years were intensely busy. We are quite happy watching a baseball game on tv or reading books and enjoying the peace.

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303FPSguy@reddit

I started my family late, so I’m in my early 50s and have my 11 yo and twin 8 yos.

Kids keep me busy. But I’m definitely burnt out on my routine. Really looking forward to summer and 4 wheeling with my kids in the mountains.

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ennuiandapathy@reddit

We’re both 57 and sometimes we feel like we’re living the same day over and over.

He’s still working, I’m still running the house, and we have two college students still at home, and we fall into a rhythm where time flies by.

But now that the kids are young adults, my partner and I are traveling more and doing things we didn’t have time for while we were raising our kids. We did a two week road trip last summer, are going camping in May, have two concerts coming up, and are currently on our way home after visiting our oldest a few states away. We hike once a month, have game nights with friends, and visit a new-to-us place in the city every few weeks.

Neither one of us wanted to end up like our parents in their older years - sitting at home and wishing we’d done xyz when they’d had the energy.

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JumpinJackCilitBang@reddit

I was feeling like that in my mid 50s, cruising towards retirement. Then both of us got made redundant out of the blue (thank you, COVID) and it's been a bit of a rollercoaster ever since. Don't take anything for granted, I say.

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Future_Inspector6645@reddit

I’m in the same boat. Kids in college. Not alot to do. Fall asleep by 9:45pm lol. I’m not sure how to fill my time and I also want to be “too” busy.

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oldfarmjoy@reddit

I'm at the same age but burned out, got a fun job that I'm painfully overqualified for, and soon I'm going to move to Vermont and have a hobby farm. Life is short!!! Follow a dream!!

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onwithlife@reddit

*username checks out*:)

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oldfarmjoy@reddit

Yes!! I'm manifesting! If you build it, they will come! ❤️❤️

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onwithlife@reddit

I am down with all that, I am living in Maine with horses and dream of owning my own hobby farm--GOOD FOR YOU ! : )))

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spotspam@reddit

You need a small group of “brotherhood/sisterhood” friends. Ppl you exercise or do something with. Where you can have small clicks within. Cycling, walking, reading, or create a lunch club. But if You don’t Have This Group of 10-30 ppl you belong to, You don’t Feel fulfilled.

It’s a Maslows need. Along with a “sense of purpose” which can be also hard to find after the kids grow up.

Try different groups like clothing fitting at a store until you find YOUR “people”. You’ll not believe you were missing it all along.

For me it was my soccer group for 20 years and now IRA been my cycling group. We are closed door. Admit new members by invitation only. Tight as hell. And solid friends who party at each others homes, meet about 2x a week to cycle. Of the 35, maybe 7-15 come out at any one time.

I’d be lost without them.

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Earthrazer_@reddit

Yeah. 48M&F. Good jobs but it's a slog and sucks away most of our lives.

On the weekends we like a slower pace watching the birds visit our feeders over breakfast. It sounds dumb but last year I started looking into native plants and shrubs. Planted a bunch of stuff from local native nurseries. (Can be hard to find)

Made a change in our backyard wildlife even by last fall. Adding more this year. My wife loves hummingbirds so we planted coral honeysuckle, ohio buckeyes, and red buckeyes. The latter are very small but some of the others are about to flower this year. Lots of other plants, too, you can look up online what's native for your area.

Not much but it's soothing after working a high pressure job all day to sit out on the deck or patio and see the birds and wildlife, or walk around the yard and check on your plants' progress.

If you do decide to try it out our state department of conservation recommends planting at least 3 of any flower together for pollinators. Worked out well for us. And don't worry at a native shop the plants are all under $10 and a shrub or tree are probably $25 to $50. At least it's like that in Kansas City.

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_Rebel_Scum_77@reddit

This is my jam. I've been working on turning our front yard into a wild flower sanctuary. It's been tedious but each year the results get better and better.

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Earthrazer_@reddit

Right? Only on the second year but it's rewarding and I can do it at home!

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_Rebel_Scum_77@reddit

It is incredibly cathartic. This will only be my third year working on it, but I'm feeling a bit more confident and assured of what to do, what I need to do, and so yeah, there's that. It helps build up my confidence in general for things which I feel good about.

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Frosteecat@reddit

My wife’s garden has become my place of refuge and reflection. It’s a real, tangible blessing IMO. I have been doting on a single female hummingbird for several years. A couple of male hummingbirds appeared to be orbiting her at times but she is the most consistent. I’m a little sad because it’s been quite a while with this same hummingbird. I’d like to attract more if possible, but I wouldn’t want them to drive her away because they seem extremely territorial.

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Earthrazer_@reddit

So apparently they are territorial when there's just a few, but as more arrive they just give up and quit fighting.

I have 4 coral honeysuckles about to boom (but I think 20 total planted around the yard that survived winter) 1 of 3 ohio buckeyes, 3 red buckeyes that are too small to bloom.

Had a lot of plants also. This year I'm growing from seed bee balms, sages, cardinal flower, columnbine, royal catchfly, purple coneflower, and a bunch more. Our yard isn't even that big, I just put a garden border around the house and plan to plant more back by the tree line behind our yard.

If they're too busy visiting flowers they won't care about each other 🤣

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VinceP312@reddit

You should appreciate the stability. It's the result of a lifetime of correct choices.

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MaximumJones@reddit

gif

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ChildOfaConspiracist@reddit

This here.

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Ner0_1ceDra9n@reddit

Love this!

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AbsolutesDealer@reddit

https://youtu.be/IWXghSfJStc?si=uvkTolxFUJ6vkHHV

Well done.

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MsJeanBean@reddit

It sounds like you’ve been fortunate that you haven’t had a parent needing you to help take care of them. Or had a sibling who had stage four cancer and lived with you for eight months until you had to put them into a nursing home because it became unsafe in your home. Enjoy the easy ride while it lasts. I say this is someone who has been through both and it sucks. I am currently enjoying a less bumpy ride at the moment and it’s pretty refreshing.

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Sintered_Monkey@reddit

Both of my parents had slow, awful, agonizing deaths. First it was my mother, and after she died, we thought "well, there is no way Dad's death will be this awful." But woo! We hit the jackpot, and his death was slow and awful too. I think that did yank me very forcefully out of the "repeat" cycle, but it also left me with PTSD, so it's a tradeoff I'd rather not have done.

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ScottDoesWashington@reddit

Interesting thing to think about—I’m 54, and both my parents have died (Alzheimer’s/Parkinson’s and effects of cancer), as has my aunt and wife’s dad. My parents and aunt were all traumatic…maybe the positive is that this is all out of the way!

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Sintered_Monkey@reddit

My father in law had a mercifully quick death by comparison. He went to the hospital saying he wasn't feeling good, tried to get out of his chair, and died instantly.

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ScottDoesWashington@reddit

After my parents’ slow and traumatic decline, I really feel like saying, “I should be so lucky.” I’m sorry you had to experience all that though!

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thisisntreallyme825@reddit

I wish. Sounds delightful!

I’m two years into trying to get divorced, living on my own for the first time. I have an easy relationship with a new guy, that’s fun, but honestly probably not going anywhere. My job is high stress, so my work life is not easy. My adult children are not yet married so no grandchildren. Honestly, not sure if I’ll ever have any.

I have really good friends and try to fill my free time with things that make me smile, and I’m always on the lookout to try new things.

I just turned 58 yesterday. I’m hoping things feel a little easier soon.

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Charming-Insurance@reddit

One of my colleagues recently told me, “I wish was my life was beige.” Hugs

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wendx33@reddit

Happy birthday!!🎂

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Frosteecat@reddit

I strive for your state of life! Congratulations!!

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AlarmedWillow4515@reddit

I am, and I'm greatly enjoying the peace of it. I've realized that life is going to bring drama in the form of death, illness, and changes in our children's' lives whether we like it or not and I love being in a place where we don't ADD to that drama.

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RoguePlanet2@reddit

Exactly! I barely call people anymore because wtf do I have to report? Nothing going on. I do like it this way. We can come up with our own excitement occasionally.

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JustFaithlessness178@reddit

That's me! I'm 57F and when my twenty something daughters call from college, they say everything they're doing. Then they ask "mom, what are you guys doing tonight? I'm like "uhhhhh" basically nothing to report.

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Clothes_Useful@reddit

I thought I had that ... I did have that .. but 2 layoffs in the past 2 years ... really shakes things up. If you get into the cruising altitude like I knew ... cherish every second ... both layoffs were complete blindsides. I thought this was my role for the next 10 years. Guessed wrong.

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AllReflection@reddit

Honestly the weeks fly by but I love my spouse, my kids make me proud, and I can still make decent money to serve those I love. I feel grateful.

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astronomydomone@reddit

Yes and I’m 46 and still have a kid in middle school

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vomputer@reddit

49 and same!

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AbbreviationsGlad833@reddit

Find a new hobby.

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spyder2267@reddit

Same. Me 59M wife 55F Great relationship. Kids are grown 2 grands we get to enjoy. But the ground hog day vibe is there for sure. We both are looking forward to retirement so we can do what we want.

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MNPS1603@reddit

I feel it, so easy to get bored. 49, no kids, in a relationship. We have a weekly autopilot schedule. We have everything we want or need financially, but still working. I’m gay so kids weren’t really a thing for us, and I never even thought about having them, but lately I’ve been thinking about others my age who get to sort of live vicariously through their children as they start having life milestones, that certainly would give them something to look forward to. Keep in mind I didn’t even have those milestones myself - I never had kids, never had a big wedding, etc. I hear women my age at the gym talking about their kids weddings they’re helping with, etc. or grandkids. I got none of that! I really have no milestones to look forward to! 😂. retirement I guess?? Need to plan more trips but so busy with work. Hopefully I can make some time soon.

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Long-Trade-9164@reddit

Hey OP, do you and the wife still have date nights? Go somewhere decent and just enjoy each other's company?

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TelevisionKnown8463@reddit

Yes. I retired early and although I’m a little anxious about finances I’m having new experiences again through volunteer work. A job change might have been a safer way to do that, but looking for a job while holding one down has always stressed me out.

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BarefootMarauder@reddit

Gotta try new things, change it up a bit. Make a list of new hobbies & activities you've always wanted to try, then start trying each one for a month or so and see how you like it. Look for volunteer opportunities, preferably ones that requite some physical movement. Focus on movement, health, and longevity. The remaining years are gonna fly by extremely fast, make the most of them.

I read an excellent article a few days ago... This seems like a great place to share it:

https://www.theretirementmanifesto.com/your-12-good-years/

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SuckerEMC@reddit

Thanks- yes- great article!!

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Skullpuck@reddit

My birthday is today. I woke up 52 minutes ago thinking the same thing. But, I think that just means I've done well. If I wasn't doing well, I'd be waking up somewhere far worse.

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reluctantrevenant@reddit

Happy birthday!

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innerearinfarction@reddit

Happy birthday!

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Pinstripe-Giraffe@reddit

Very much so. I need to keep finding new things to do so I don’t get depressed and bored. A few years ago I did a whole-ass master’s degree, and while I don’t recommend it as a cure for plain old boredom, it did certainly force me into a very structured day and give me a lot of sense of progress and achievement! A more normal version of this would be to sign up for some ongoing classes in a new hobby. The learning milestones in a new sport or art or handicraft can feel really rewarding.

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_Weatherwax_@reddit

Yes. Subtract grandkids. Kids in college.

Add in complicated health issues nobody asked for.

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lelandra@reddit

You are lucky to be in the space where the non-stop deaths and parent care issues haven't taken over yet. Enjoy the breather - it is unlikely to last.

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dying-of-boredom1966@reddit

Yep, invest in a nice black outfit, you'll be going to funerals like you used to go to parties. Oh, buy bulk condolence cards too, this comes in handy!

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Emotional_vandida@reddit

Tengo 34 años y vivo así. Mi psicóloga dice que vivo “como una jubilada” y hago simplemente eso, pasar los días…. Trabajo en el día para vivir el día y si, hago algo por mi futuro -sigo estudiando- pero ni siquiera lo veo como algo a futuro sino más bien mi modo de ser es curioso. Ahora hice un viaje y las cosas cambiaron, pero la velocidad crucero no

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dying-of-boredom1966@reddit

I'm at this stage, but god am I bored, yet I don't want excitement/problems either. My job makes me so much more tired at this age. I spend my weekends relaxing just to get ready to become exhausted again by work the next week.

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Extreme-Injury-5447@reddit

Yes, but I’m seeing more people just a little older than us starting to deal with devastating health issues and realize how lucky we are for now.

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Tall-Yard-407@reddit

Yes. The feeling is normal. Pick up hobbies and have more date nights. My wife and I found an amateur erotica film fest near where we live and we’ve been going to that for a few years now. That’s provided a lot to talk about. If you go to one of those you should be prepared to see some things that might shock you though because people lead some really different kinds of lives — as we all do (and should). We leave town for weekend trips too. We stayed at a hotel that used to be an elementary school; it had a restaurant where we had dinner and breakfast the next morning. That was fun. My wife is out in the garden all the time. She says she doesn’t feel crazy when she’s outside. Sometimes I help her. That’s a lot of fun. We do church stuff too. Community is really important. We used to feel like two chimes in a wind chime on a windless day. It’s like we just met each other again.

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MomoNomo97@reddit

"Two chimes in a wind chime..." I know that feeling. Beautifully said.

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2000TWLV@reddit

Good for you. I feel like I'm still always stuck in second gear and no matter what I do, it's me et gonna change. Accumulated all the junk, bills and other accoutrements of adult life along the way, but cruise control is just not an option.

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UnaSmalls@reddit

For some reason, buying toilet paper has me thinking that all I’m doing is going to work to buy things I need to go to work to buy things I need, rinse and repeat. It doesn’t make me sad, it makes me think I should try new things…

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lolmyspacewhooers@reddit

Maybe be grateful your alive, healthy, and stable. Geez, how awful this must be for you.

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phtcmp@reddit

“Hope she does too…” why don’t you know? I’d find out. Grey divorce is becoming extremely common, with one spouse often left thinking everything had been just fine. Look into some hobbies that you can enjoy both on your own and together.

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CawlinAlcarz@reddit

Just be glad that corporate America hasn't decided to make your life more "exciting" by laying you off and chasing your demographic out of the workforce... yet.

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Gooser3000@reddit

If the kids are grown, just leave. Go live the life you want. Have fun!

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muralist@reddit

If you can, this is a good time to travel.

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BewildredDragon@reddit

Totally this! You need something to look forward to. I just took a 3 week trip for my 60th birthday, to Asia. 3 countries, had a blast. Going to Chile in December.

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munkykiller@reddit

See, I just started doing all the crazy things. Kids are 30, 25, 16, so all at different stages of life. Within the last year I’ve: bought into a restaurant, bought a small house in Japan (that’s where my wife is from), visited the new house for a few weeks, sent one this to and hosted one kid on an exchange with Germany, redone my entire first floor flooring.

Now the wife just got laid off and is going to take a trip to see the house. Kid is looking at colleges in Germany and the Netherlands, that’ll probably save me a ton of money. But I expect we will visit colleges there before she makes a decision. No grandkids tho or anything. My kids are too busy doing their own things to have bothered looking for relationships. I don’t think my world will slow down until I’m in my 60s.

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Sib7of7@reddit

Wish I had the funds to live your life. Sounds grand. Lucky you.

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Smile-Cat-Coconut@reddit

The Movie Groundhog Day teaches us to learn boogie Woogie piano during this stage of life.

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sweetbitter_1005@reddit

Same, except no kids. We are fortunate and are able to take a couple vacations and long weekends each year, but aside from that we work all week and then spend weekends doing chores/ running errands, go out to dinner, rinse / repeat. This year we have been making a better effort to see a show, take a cooking class, concert, sporting events etc on some weekends each month to give us something to look forward to.

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Euphoric-Role-7170@reddit

Wow! First of all, you are so blessed to be where you are! Please don’t take it for granted! One of you could become sick tomorrow. There are tons of ways, written above, and excellent suggestions. I suggest you and your wife have some fun with it. Sit down at your table able start brain storming things you’ve always wanted to do and things you use to love to do. You may need to modify for our age bracket but, this is your last 1/3, make it your best one!

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PurpleTangerine78@reddit

Yes. Survived cancer in 2022 (🙏) and now just cruising. I’m happily married, and have 2 wildly successful grown kids that are independent. I want to be enjoying “cruising altitude” but I spend most of my time wondering what other couples my age are doing, and feeling guilty that I’m not doing something wonderful.

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NoneyaBizzy@reddit

Yup. That's me. I'm cool with it. I'm naturally a pessimistic person and always had a fear that I could lose everything. I'm happy to be at the point where I'm not ready for retirement, but I could if I wanted/needed to. I will say, I'm not the most adventurous type anyway. I'm happy chilling with my wife, seeing some friends and family and a few trips per year. You're way ahead of me with grown kids and having grand kids. I have two in college so I still worry about their future a bit.

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dianesterling@reddit

Yep. Never wanted kids but somewhat surprised to find myself still single in my 40s. Now I’m old and low-value and it just feels like there’s nothing left for me. Just waiting life out.

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metrology84@reddit

Find an activity you can do with your partner. Once the kids are out of the house it can get very quiet and you need something you can both enjoy. One thing we do is go out once a week and play bar trivia together. It is fun and we are a good team. Sports, theater, or movies are good, but make the effort to get out of the house.

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Jarno3000@reddit

We regularly go to the theatre mid week as date night and have found a great kayaking club that has a social side to it but is serious about the fitness.

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Lwdlrb1993@reddit

Agree with this 100%. My husband and I started hiking and backpacking just as the kids were graduations high school…it’s been a great adventure for us.

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sriracharade@reddit

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meSabina@reddit

Yep... I'm getting off that treadmill today as I'm turning in my two-week notice at a job I've been at for 25 years. 👍

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Unique-Sock3366@reddit

Good for you! Very best wishes to you going forward into your new adventure.

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Conscious-Call-6404@reddit

Get passionate about the ARTS!

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SnooRevelations2717@reddit

You explained exactly how I am feeling. Just turned 54 and it seems like last week I was 50 and 2 months before that I was 45. Time is going by way to fast. My wife and I are finally able to afford some nice vacations at least. We plan to visit a another country once a year now so hopefully that slows things down a bit.

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ApprehensiveArt2813@reddit

Hubby and I bought 2 motorcycles about 10 years ago and travel around on them on the weekends. I also book numerous concerts throughout the year and at least one festival, so we always have something fun to look forward to. We try to take a mini-vacation every Jan/Feb to get some much needed sun. We’ve been married 36 years, so keeping things exciting takes a bit of work and planning. He’s 64 and I’m almost 60, but neither of us feel “old”. I always say, “Growing up is inevitable, but growing old is optional” Try and schedule fun things to do to keep the boredom at bay.

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Enough-Cow-6869@reddit

Yeah. I have decided to enjoy being on cruise as it means no disasters/emergencies. What gives me a zest is frequently traveling.

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bigeffingd@reddit

It's very refreshing to hear everyone's comments. I've been struggling with no longer being as important in my boys lives, and know I need to move on. The wife is worried I'm getting stuck. We're in a great place, but i need to enjoy this is "good" place, and not the disappointment my brain is telling me it is. The comments give me hope and perspective.

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ThistleandOak@reddit

Same, only single. I’ve been heavily involved in the same sport my entire life. Horses. Luckily, there are many different things I can do as an equestrian. Globetrotting vacations is one. I’ll be going on my third trip next month. It’s a great way to travel. The anticipation of the journey ahead of time and the high while on it and long after, then the excitement of planning another…unbeatable. So I say, travel!

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AllTheseRivers@reddit

Yep.

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Glad_Government_1186@reddit

Sounds like you need to become aware of how terribly things are going for younger Americans. Maybe become politically active and end the complacent attitude.

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seymoresmellynuts@reddit

I’m assuming you meen 20-30 year olds. We’ve been struggling since we were 7. I’m tired of fighting the fight, we’ve been doing it for the past 50 years. It’s time for someone else to do it. If you want change tya, I’m not stopping you. I got cereal to eat and cartoons to watch.

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Public_Excitement393@reddit

Boy, you are a lot of fun!

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Glad_Government_1186@reddit

Sometimes reality isn't fun, chap. Good luck waddling to the grave.

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Euphoric_Grass_5973@reddit

Got to prevent the cruise. Me and my wife are almost there. Another year and a half. I am thinking of going part time at work and she’s going to retire at 55. Then work so that we have a 6 day weekend every other two weeks. And we will travel someplace new, either by driving or plane. Try to spend some of that retirement money before we can’t really get around

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2Dogs3Tents@reddit

Yup. Just trying to enjoy each day as it comes at me and avoid negative people, situations and outcomes. I have accepted that not every day is gonna be super fun.

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Kwyjibo68@reddit

This is where travel and hobbies come in to play.

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Th3R00ST3R@reddit

We're going to Barbados next week. I play golf and drum with my band on the weekends. Have the grandkids to hang out with, but work is a drag. 3 more years to retirement.

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Professional-Mess-98@reddit

Time for a puppy!

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StoryKey2564@reddit

Adopt a greyhound!

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Professional-Mess-98@reddit

Yes! I love this!

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Tondropper186@reddit

It’s a natural progression of life. Find something to break the monotony. Take a trip, buy a sports car, grow a beard, sell all your material possessions and become a recluse in the woods.

But seriously, it’s a good problem to have. And I’d recommend some traveling and some hobbies. Book a cheap cruise and take up woodworking. Those things worked for me.

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jackie-daytonuh@reddit

The cure for boredom is serving and connecting to others. Multiple studies have shown the benefits to those who give back in terms of improved mental health, life satisfaction, physical health, and longevity. An enormous number of our fellow Americans are in crisis right now. Wherever you live, you can easily find opportunities to serve that fit your interests and talents. Your quality of life will improve dramatically.

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Iamshortestone@reddit

I noticed that as well. I'm also extremely routine, which doesn't help. I've been trying to make small shifts in my daily habits so I don't feel like I'm on the wash, rinse, repeat cycle lol. It doesn't help that I commute to work, and traffic is madness. Sometimes I feel like my life has become: wake up, sit in traffic, work, sit in more traffic, eat, go to sleep, repeat. While I sit in traffic I often wonder if on my dying day I'm going to be really sad that I wasted this beautiful life sitting behind a white Tesla on the freeway for 4 hours a day.

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Patient_Character730@reddit

Absolutely in this stage and I am trying to shake things up so I'm not just coasting. How I keep things interesting is traveling the country with my husband, we enjoy hiking and National Parks. I have a lot of places on this earth I still want to see and experience with my husband by my side.

We go to comedy shows often because I want to laugh and have fun. We explore new restaurants in cities nearby, new cuisines. I know how easy it is to get caught up in just getting by day by day, but no one knows how long they have and I don't want to stagnate I want to continue to live!

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rushfanatic1@reddit

Getting every room vacuumed or mopped in one day is a triumph of sorts. Getting older is tiresome and repetitive.

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TheBklynGuy@reddit

I'm here too. Received a promotion at work, live in nice area, everything on paper....looks great. I'm lucky, I have struggled in the past and don't want to be ungrateful. But the "ok what's next" keeps nagging at me. I'm 50 also. I took on some new hobbies and learning which has helped give me a boost. This helped me a bit.

The one thing I want to do is travel more. I'm in the U.S. and just in this country alone there's still so much to see. International trips give even more opportunity. I also believe travel changes ones brain for the better. Being out of comfort zone, seeing different cultures, people and realizing first hand how big the world is being important for growth I think.

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AceZ1121@reddit

Same.. started a new job in Feb, I’ll be 50 this year. I’m doing better now than I ever have and so grateful.

I’m with you about travel. I’ve taken several solo road trips across the country and it’s been incredible. And it didn’t cost me a fortune (granted gas prices suck right now). There’s so many things to see out there that I encourage people a the time to just get out there! Even if for a weekend. And I haven’t even started international travel yet. But is in my plans.

I think people should but grateful for the mundane as I’ve lived in chaos prior. That’s no reason to be bored especially if you doing have to worry about kids, etc.

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beanbean81@reddit

You’re living the dream. Take a trip somewhere. Take day trips and explore new places and try new things with your husband. Take up a new hobby. Take a class. Volunteer. I know we shouldn’t compare but my son is special needs and I might never be an empty nester so I dream about doing some of the things I just mentioned.

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User47B@reddit

I wish I was there … everything feels chaotic and stressful in my life.

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Late_Homework_2705@reddit

You need to get active and have some fun. Don’t fall into the “we’re old” trap!

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gmkrikey@reddit

Yeah never let the old man in, and 50s and cruising is exactly when he sneaks in.

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vase-of-willows@reddit

I hope you’re able to flip your vote off things. 54 here and am in love with this stage! I finally feel steady, free, and at peace.

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Latter-Confidence-44@reddit

Following this. I'm turning 50 and have no real hope of a comfortable retirement, but we're going to be empty nesters this fall and need to find a way to stop the years from passing like months used to. There's only so many left.

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itsk2049@reddit

Not seeking new experiences will result in time passing by more quickly for you. Try anything new at all: destination, activity, hobby, or experience.

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vase-of-willows@reddit

This is such a great

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hiscapness@reddit

Enjoy it, these are the start of what the “golden years” were for prior generations before 50 was the new 30. When many moved to Florida/the vacation home (they could afford then)/traveled, etc. Soon, your body starts to slow and the health issues kick in, parents start passing (if not already), yada yada. Be grateful it’s on cruise control and enjoy every damn second of it.

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WendySteeplechase@reddit

So you are are "settled in your careers" and your jobs are so boring it feels like you are "cruising"? Why not try to shake things up a bit there, do things differently, interact with people at your work more, something to spice things up?

I'm not super successful but my job still keeps me on my toes at least. And I'll be going to the 65 mark no doubt.

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Jordangander@reddit

Plan trips.

Figure out what hobbies you want to get in to.

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_ChristmasSunday@reddit

Just saying, the ups and downs don’t end at this stage. 🎄

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fastcatdog@reddit

Hello flippers

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ReadingAndThinking@reddit

Sounds like the good life. Enjoy.

Take some trips to break things up, that helps.

Consider getting a vacation home somewhere, or do some month long Airbnb.

Mix things up.

And then enjoy going back to the steady routine.

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Rock_Samurai@reddit

I’m there too. But I don’t feel uncomfortable about it because we have goals. I feel like my window of opportunity is closing for doing a few bucket list things I likely won’t have the physicality to do in 10 more years. Goals don’t slow down time, the opposite is true. But they make my time have meaning.

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Curious_Field7953@reddit

I am agoraphobia and worked for years to live normally. Pandemic came and I was in my element. Now that life is back to "normal" I find myself in this cycle and I HATE it.

We moved 1200 miles from my husband's home state back down to my home state so the family is so far away. We are lucky enough to see them all 4x a year.

But, making friends at 55? Pfffffffffffffft. HARD AF. All I want to do is climb into my agoraphobia and live there but I know it's not a great idea.

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Responsible-Bet8661@reddit

Not at all for me. Have 2 kids in their early twenties from a horrible ex who live at home all or most of the time. Got married again and together we have a toddler. So now life’s an adventure again and every day is different.

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montanawildcat@reddit

Fuuuuucccckkk. You’re not kidding. Mix in a stage 4 cancer diagnosis, elder care and a failing marriage and these are indeed the Golden Years. FMLas the kids say

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TJH99x@reddit

Sounds like a good time to plan a trip.

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zabacam@reddit

Sort of. Kids still in school and the wife and I are a little older than you are. We are fortunate that we take about 4-5 trips a year to break it up. Three or four night long weekends mostly just us to do different things. It helps.

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Haisha4sale@reddit

Major battles have been fought, just cruising until a health issue comes along, trying to stay grateful and humble and enjoy the day.

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Inside-Wear5683@reddit

They say 50s is for reflection....so don't spend too much time in the mirror because you still have a lot of memories to make with your spouse

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KingPabloo@reddit

Turning 59 next week and not at all. Life’s an adventure whose story (time) is marked by new experiences. Doing the same things, living the same day, over and over is a choice - it’s also easy, comfortable and boring.

Why not choose new, hard and uncomfortable? Slow down the clock and put down new markers I your timeline. As kids, we went outside and everyday was an adventure - become a kid again.

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Sorry_Neighborhood_6@reddit

This! My husband and I moved back to the woods where we grew up after our kids left for college. Late 40's here. We grew up playing in the woods and make it a point to get out and adventure - just like two kids!

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Maverick-Mav@reddit

gif

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Zestyclose-Ad-7576@reddit

I have the ability to retire at the end of the year. I’ll be sixty. As I sit at my work desk, all I do is hear the clicking of the clock of the last good years of my life passing by rather quickly. I do feel like every day is Groundhog Day and I don’t like it.

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xczechr@reddit

I am so looking forward to retirement.

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SpiritGuideMiranda@reddit

Will be 57 this year. I feel like I’ve been there over a decade 🙃

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mmrocker13@reddit

I find that the whole getting divorced and having to restart your life at 50 does a decent job of ending the wash rinse repeat. I don't know that I would necessarily recommend it, but it certainly does throw the wrench of novelty into one's existence.

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MrsQute@reddit

I don't mind the rinse and repeat part so much as I just don't want to work anymore.

Can't afford to retire earlier but 2040 more years feels so much farther away than 1980.

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raqnroll@reddit

We hit that and flipped the script. Moved to a new city that we loved, updated jobs in the same career, and introduced just a whole new reality. It was THE BEST thing we could've done. The feelings of "is this it?" Vanished overnight now recognizing that you can change anything to improve your situation.

I'm not saying everyone should move if this comes up, just that you are in control of your destiny and can do anything to impact that for the better.

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Allmyexesliveintx333@reddit

Be grateful you’re in that stage of life. I am 53 and my husband is 52. We have a 13-year-old and a 14-year-old and we are in the thick of it with soccer practices swim practices two demanding jobs hustling all the time I feel the grind and at 53 I don’t want it. I don’t want one second of it.

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babytoes@reddit

I'm on my second marriage and our two are 13 and 10. My kids from my first marriage are all grown and living out of state. I feel your plight, I want to slow down and rest but we're right in the thick of it too

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No_Bluejay9901@reddit

Yeah, I have a 24 year old, 21 and 13. That 13 year old is hitting puberty just as my wife is hitting menopause. Its like the 2 of them are having a contest to see who can be moodier

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cassatta@reddit

I hope you’re kind to both of them

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Legal-Hair-7095@reddit

Exercise ?

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Designer_Design_6019@reddit

Buy a boat

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FabricArsonist@reddit

My husband has PTSD so it's worse, although we have a kid in Jr high. It makes it hard to control my agrophibia.

I'm outside with my dog, my goat dog, and a turkey. I do this every morning. My horses, mule, and donkey are at the fence within arms distance if I want to move. This is my everyday, and while I enjoy it, it's also stagnant.

For me, I had to do something. I joined a ladies that lunch group and red hats. My daughter and I go lunch and shopping a couple of times a month.

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roxywalker@reddit

We had kids later in life so we got a moody teen and one in college who moved back home. I’m mid 50’s he’s mid 60’s and we are just hanging onto our home so they have a place to stay rent free. But since they are adults now, he and I take trips and spend time together plotting our next stage in life.

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WimpyZombie@reddit

I've been in that stage for most of my life, but that's mostly due to some bad luck that threw me into a career that I hate and leaves me broke.

I'm alone (just me and my cat) and since I don't even make enough money to comfortably pay my bills, I feel like I only exist to go to work....and I go to work so I can exist, like you said "rinse and repeat".

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Real_Employ_2796@reddit

YES. Same age, same stage. My son played competitive / travel sports for most of the last dozen years, and he just left for college last fall and we're empty nesting. We built our whole lives around traveling the country to tournaments and that kind of thing. Loved every minute of it. He plays DII sports now and we try to go see him when we can, but yeah - the empty nest thing has hit me really hard. We just don't know what to do with ourselves now.

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Primary-Initiative52@reddit

It will come. I went through much the same thing and it took a couple of years to sort myself out...think about what I wanted, what I actually felt was important, what wasn't...and I came out of that time feeling more "myself." Give yourselves the grace of time.

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fietsvrouw@reddit

I was just talking about this with my sister yesterday. She had recently said "Now it is the part of life where everything is the same and then you die" and I could not immediately relate because I was in the middle of a 9-year journey to move abroad, get permanent residence and then citizenship. That all wraps up next week and I was elated... but then I felt a bit sad and empty. I realized that the sense of moving toward something important makes time feel slower and in some way, more meaningful.

My plan is to set a new goal that restores the sense of moving toward something and growing.

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minousmom@reddit

Time to plan a trip! Whenever we get the “life is boring blues”, we start planning for a new destination.

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HighSideSurvivor@reddit

I should be, or maybe it’s more accurate to say could be, but I’m not.

My kids are both in high school. Both have dreams that include college, so I need to support them as much as I can for about the next decade.

I made many poor financial decisions in my earlier years, and had some bad luck about a decade ago, which hurt. Luckily, I moved into a relatively high earning position, so if I keep grinding for another decade, I might be OK.

And grandkids? My oldest is clear about NEVER having kids. My youngest seems dubious. So even if I were to live long enough, grandkids seem unlikely.

So… I am quite worried about my life after I become an empty nester in about 4 years. Your “rinse and repeat” scenario, for me, could take a very bleak form.

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bigredthesnorer@reddit

I hear you. My oldest is in his early 30s and he and his GF don't seem to want to get married and he's not sure about kids. My youngest is still in college and I am living a little through her experience as I wish I had gone to a similar school. I am struggling to find anything interesting to do outside of my work.

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CrocusCat@reddit

did i post this? 🤔

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chulyen66@reddit

Yes. 59 M. That’s why a few years ago we bought a motorcycle and now we take off for a couple of days or a week.

Also got back into hiking. She knits so I got into knitting too.

We moved a few miles out of town onto 5 acres. No opportunity for boredom now.

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foureyedgrrl@reddit

Don't grow stagnant in that rinse & repeat comfort. At some point in the not-so-distant future, rinse & repeat becomes an unattainable goal.

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shedwyn2019@reddit

Well…made a career change in my mid-40s, have moved 3 times in 3 years, AI is upending my new career, may soon become a dual citizen and considering a move to another country, and I am learning a couple of new skills. It may be the ADHD in me, or my chaos demon, but I don’t see my rinse and repeat happening any time soon.

I do see the days ticking down. My mom died last year. More and more celebrities I am fond of are dying. Time is just wizzing by and there is still so much I want to do!

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

Yes and I honestly like it. I don't want anymore dramatic ups and downs in my life. I like the smooth ride I am on now.

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KellyCakes@reddit

I like it, too, but the years sure do seem to fly by!

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AngstyAF5020@reddit

Our days are mostly clicking on by full of mundane stuff. Work, go home, work on hobby/projects(very busy with knife restorations, and sharpening side hustle). Love it. I am the most contented that I've ever been. When I retire in ext year I'll have plenty to do!

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aarontsuru@reddit

Time for new hobbies!

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No_Hovercraft_821@reddit

Once you retire this might really bump up.

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Canuck_Noob75@reddit

Yes enjoy it! Spend this time getting healthier and traveling. You’ve earned it. 🤗

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ToxicAdamm@reddit

Get busier. Do more outside of your home.

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ScreaminEagle2502@reddit

My wife and I don't have any children (but we consider our dog Stanley to be our son), but yes, the years are going by quickly. My wife's 56 and I'll turn 56 in a few months. Retirement used to seem so far away, but now we're about 4 years away from it. The time has gone by quicker that I thought it would and I'm looking forward the next stage our lives.

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Ok-Mind-3915@reddit

Winter feels like this for me. Lack of sun amplifies it.

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Signal_Glittering@reddit

Absolutely. Some days I love it, other days it torturous. But yeah it’s all the same and it’s hard to shake it up and do something different bc what I know/do is so safe.