Trap intruders in a cage in the basement via trap door; force them to listen to your cover band

Can't find an objective audience for your up-and-coming Yacht Rock / Ska band? Buy a dilapidated, crummy old crack house in the 'hood; pay some contractor to build a non-lethal trap door that leads to a slide, dropping would-be squatters & thieves into... Room 101, where you force them to listen to your band and get their opinion whether you should really try to emulate Stevie Nicks, or just go with your own voice. This idea is NOT boring or unoriginal, stupid mod bot!!! ..Is it??