Doctors missed cancer. Got a week or so left. How do I stop it happening to you?

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pheeelco@reddit

I’m very sorry that this has happened to you. Maybe send a detailed account of this to your local NHS commissioners with a suggestion that some training be developed for GPs.

The sad truth is that a lot of doctors see so few people who are very ill that they tend to make assumptions based on their experience - and they normally get away with this. GPs need to be reminded to pay attention to each patient as an individual, not as a number or a statistic.

In my experience, the best doctors are the one who see the person first. And that’s not universal.

I hope your remaining time can be spent with those who love you and that you will find some peace. I cannot imagine how frustrating your situation is. But I do believe that there is a life beyond our time here on Earth. And I will pray for you.

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Pleasant-Tea33@reddit

@u/Disastrous-Design503 I’m so sorry this has happened to you. As others have said if you feel up to it film a couple videos and have your say. Get your thoughts and your words out there. But do it quickly and move on to spending your time with people you like and doing or having things you like. Sending you strength and comfort ❤️🤍

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Fit-Finger1427@reddit

Soo true ❤️

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sensitiveboi93@reddit

From a lawyer: Immediately begin recording your experiences. Everything. gather your documents, get your medical ones in particular. Make a timeline of events, screenshot times you shared this with friends or other folks (“hey, my neck hurts but my doctor says it’s nothing”), be sure to record what this means to you, which I know is no small task.

op I am so sorry this has come to pass for you. I wish you love and luck on your journey. My greatest recommendation is to leave a solid record so that whatever comes next, be it journalists or lawyers or clergymen or dentists, you’re giving a full account of your experience, your story matters, and we are all going to benefit from you taking this time.

Again, you have my best wishes for your journey ahead - I hope it is filled with serenity and empowerment and love.

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CastratePedocrats@reddit

Take fenbendazole now in large amounts like a soup spoonful twice a day. It kills c a n c e r cells. Also get invermectin it’s not too late for you. Don’t listen to these pathetic GPs or oncologist. Do your own research. There’s are many things eat up cancer cells. Including vitamin B17 which is found in bitter apricot kernels. But the powder. Start taking it asap. You don’t need to die.

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ScarletHorizons@reddit

My mum has been going to the doctor since 2023 for a freckle on her leg that had gotten bigger and darker very quickly. They kept telling her it was nothing and that she was overreacting because she had been having anxiety. A week ago they found life threatening cancer and told her that it was so deep that it was likely she was going to have to lose most of her leg muscle to save her because it had been left for so long and had gotten so deep. They also found skin cancer in her face, but that's more treatable.

I agree with the other commenter telling you to do a video of the symptoms — it could really help save someone's life. But there's also something fundamentally wrong with how we care for women in medicine and how often they're ignored that needs to be dealt with before we stop seeing stories like this.

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rdxc1a2t@reddit

It's crazy and disturbing how differently people can be treated. A few months ago I had a mole that grew in size quite suddenly. It otherwise looked healthy so I wasn't particularly concerned but thought it best to get it checked out. My GP wasn't particularly concerned but thought it best to get a dermatologist to have a look. The dermatologist wasn't particularly concerned but called their colleague in for a second opinion. Their colleague wasn't particularly concerned but we all agreed we'd get it taken off anyway just to be safe and within three weeks of the GP appointment it had been removed. Tests came back negative a few weeks after that.

I honestly couldn't fault the service I received and I was so grateful that the existence of the NHS meant that I didn't have to constantly question whether it was worth spending more money investigating an issue that no one was that concerned about. I'm sorry to hear that your mum was treated so awfully for a change in mole that sounds like it was far more visually concerning than mine.

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affordable_firepower@reddit

During covid, my mum called and called the doc about stomach pains when she ate. was dismissed every time. her next door neighbour marched her down to the GP surgery and demanded she was seen. Mum was sent immediately to hospital for a hernia op.

After the operation, the surgeon said that they'd sorted the hernia, and by the way, you have inoperable stomach and bowel cancer.

three weeks later she was gone.

Always, always ask for a full diagnisis and don't get fobbed off by the GP

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fishonthemoon@reddit

I’m in the U.S., but I had a patient (I’m a nurse) who was having abdominal pains. For three years they were telling her it was GERD or it was “nothing.” On the fourth year of her dealing with this they found a large mass and she was disagnosed with cancer. It’s alarming to me how common this is.

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IAmLaureline@reddit

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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ScarletHorizons@reddit

That's basically the service my dad got; it was great. But the same GP he saw refused to take my mum seriously. I wish she'd let me go with her when I offered to help talk to the GP so he'd take her more seriously.

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vizard0@reddit

This is actually a recommended strategy- go in with a male relative or friend and have them directly talk to the doctor.

That and insist that they put down their dismissal of symptoms down in their notes.

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ScarletHorizons@reddit

I've told her to take my dad, and I've done the same by taking my partner with me to appointments, too, as I've had issues being dismissed as a woman, too. I'm more firm than my mum is, though, so I don't have it happen as often.

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InquisitorVawn@reddit

As a data point, and I fully understand if you don't feel comfortable answering this, but I would be interested to know if you're male or female or in any way gender non-conforming.

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rdxc1a2t@reddit

Yeah I'm male and I was seen by a male GP. I'd say he's the GP I see about 60% of the time when I go to my local surgery. I've seen him about a few things of fairly little concern because the NHS recommendation is to get them checked and he's always treated me respectfully and taken things seriously, which is good because I often go in expecting they will amount to nothing (but better safe than sorry). In such a situation I generally go in and say "I've got this, I'm not that worried but the NHS site says to get it checked if x, y, z so here I am".

The first dermatologist was female and their colleague that they called in was male.

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InquisitorVawn@reddit

It sounds like you've got a good medical support system, and I'm glad it worked out for you. Interestingly though, in a very depressing way, my experience and the experiences I've heard from others point to it not mattering that much what the Doctor's gender is, but very much what the patient's gender is.

People presenting as women or gender non-conforming in some way seem to need to jump through far more hoops to get the same level of attention paid to their issues as many men do. That's not to say there's no men who ever get overlooked or dismissed in the same way, but it seems to happen so much more to people who aren't male.

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rdxc1a2t@reddit

Yeah I've definitely heard that and believe it. Even anecdotally my Dad seems to have a very different experience with the local GP compared with my Mum.

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After-Competition-59@reddit

Medicine is hard. It’s all about dealing with uncertainty. Of course there’s going to be variation. Despite long and hard training, there’s no system in the world where doctors get it right every time. It’s just the complainers have the loudest voices so if you go on reddit you will be convinced that all doctors are dismissive assholes.

As a side note, this is why the government’s plan to use more non medical professionals is so dangerous. Even highly trained doctors will get it wrong, never mind nurses or other allied professionals that are being put into doctors’ places.

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lambdaburst@reddit

Christ, doctors fucking love anxiety to explain away serious ailments. As soon as they get a sniff of that word it's all they focus on. You could walk in with a gaping chest wound, but if you answered 'yes' to the question 'is your job stressful?', you'd leave there with a citalopram prescription and some advice to go for a walk.

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DoricEmpire@reddit

And if it’s not that it’s losing weight. Even when it’s clear it’s absolutely nothing to do with the issue, symptoms or cause.

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deiprep@reddit

If I had a pound for every time I’d been recommended antidepressants for something completely unrelated, I’d be able to open a chemist.

You’d think GP’s would get commission every time they prescribe someone them.

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Codders94@reddit

I’m absolutely covered in moles and things like this terrify me.

After going to my last GP who took a 30 second look at me with my top off and dint care to check my legs, scalp or anywhere else. I took him at face value and thought everything was fine.

I moved and go to a different GP, the lady took a look at me and referred me to dermatology to have a mole mapping (pictures of your entire body so they can see changes over time) & check up. They found some suspect ones and removed them, fortunately no cancer.

But the new GP has encouraged me to go back yearly & seems to actually care. As I’ve only ever been to the previous one, I thought it was standard practice to not care. Turns out, it’s not.

I now make sure I go every year and if there’s any resistance, then I kick up a fuss.

The most annoying thing is that despite having a mole mapping done, whilst the staff at the hospital can access it, the GPs in my local surgery don’t have access. Which is, illogical.

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hazyc0w@reddit

Sorry to jump in but did you request the mole map or your GP mentioned it?

I am also covered in moles and have no way of knowing whether anything has changed with them because there are so many and skin cancer definitely plays on my mind.

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Codders94@reddit

Well, the GP suggested that I took some photos which unzipped a depressed memory from my childhood where some guy in a white coat took photos of me in my pants at the hospital. Turns out that was a mole mapping, I mentioned I had one done when I was a kid so she sent me to get a fresh one done to see how things had changed.

They still had the original photos from when I was about 8 stood there in my action man pants.. it even turned out to be the same guy taking the photos - 24 years later!

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MoodyStocking@reddit

My mum had this issue with marks on her skin, I told her to go back to the gp and whine and moan until they gave her a referral to dermatology. Well they did and the gp wrote the most passive aggressive referral letter I’ve ever read.

It was diagnosed as one of the milder skin cancers and was treated with a chemotherapy cream. Obviously not good but it was satisfying to read the snarky letter written back from the derm to the gp.

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ScarletHorizons@reddit

That's what I told my mum to do, but they wouldn't budge. Her face is being treated with the chemo cream, but I'm pissed off that they fobbed her off about her leg for so long. She started measuring it at home and taking photos, then dropped everything on the GP's desk, and that finally got them to refer her.

I don't get why they were so difficult about it. The mark is absolutely massive. Much bigger than both the marks my dad has gone in about, and had referrals to be removed as a precaution.

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TotallyTapping@reddit

And there you have it - the difference in treatment between men and women medically. So often women are fobbed off with "it's a normal thing at this time of your life" (painful periods, menopause, fibromyalgia, pernicious anaemia, thyroid problems, and so much more), whereas men are sent for tests "as a precaution", because "we never see you here usually so it must be real".

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LibraryOfFoxes@reddit

It took me the best part of 15 years to any proper tests done, I was always fobbed off with 'it's just part of being a woman, every woman has to deal with it'.

When they eventually did the tests they found adenomyosis, polyps, submucosal fibroids, ovarian cysts and all my organs adhered to each other. I finally had my hysterectomy last year and they need two surgeons there, one for the hysterectomy, and one to the un-glue all of the organs. I only got that referral because a locum doctor took pity on me. It honestly shouldn't be so much of a fight.

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Nishwishes@reddit

Yeah, I've been thinking the same this whole thread. They probably rolled their eyes and thought she was being anxious and hysterical and that losing some weight (regardless of her weight) would do it.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

What did the letters say?? I need to live vicariously through you and read those snarky letters it will give me life

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MoodyStocking@reddit

I can’t really remember exactly but one of the comments was like ‘thank you for referring this woman, despite the significant delay’ or something along those lines 😂 she also put in the letter that my mum was to bypass the GP for any other similar lesions and go straight to them for ‘efficiency’

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Firm_Doughnut_1@reddit

I face these same issues also as a woman. I have two chronic conditions and in both cases I've been told it's just anxiety, or it's not that bad, or some other form of brush off.

Chronic condition 1 was ulcerative colitis. It wasn't cancer but the symptoms at the time would have been more than enough to flag up checking for that. Took 8 months to convince a GP to actually test for something. Prior to that it was weekly appointments being told it was nothing. By the end I was sure I did have cancer and broke down because my ass of a GP wouldn't test me for anything.

Chronic condition 2 is still unknown, but some form of chronic UTI and/or interstitial cystitis. Several years on and still haven't had a GP or specialist take me seriously despite the amount of pain it causes.

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Tequilasquirrel@reddit

Change your gp, seriously. I also have several chronic conditions and was only treated for them properly when I changed surgeries.

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IAmLaureline@reddit

I went to my GP about ten times before my cancer was discovered. I was a young woman who had looked after herself and I was ignored despite unspeakable pain.

It had spread to my liver before they found it but I was one of the lucky ones and I am here to tell the tale.

Chronic ill health but at least I am alive to see my children grow up!

Medical misogyny hadn't been coined at the time but there's no doubt that was the cause of my delay in diagnosis.

I take my husband to all serious appointments now. It sucks but he understands why he has to be there.

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eraserway@reddit

But there's also something fundamentally wrong with how we care for women in medicine and how often they're ignored that needs to be dealt with before we stop seeing stories like this.

You're absolutely spot on with this and many people don't realise how big of a problem it is.

Three women very close to me (including my mum) have had experiences of being fobbed off for months and months for things which turned out to be serious. One ended up needing brain surgery, and my mum had to have major surgery to remove a 31cm tumour. Her surgeon said it was the biggest tumour of that type he'd seen in his career and he couldn't believe it had been left so long. Mum had first been to the GP with symptoms 18 months earlier and kept getting told over and over again that it was just constipation. She looked 9 months pregnant before her surgery and could barely walk, it was awful.

Meanwhile my dad went to the GP once with bowel issues and was referred to the cancer pathway immediately. My brother went to the GP to get a lump checked out and was referred right away. That is how things should be done, every time.

Obviously it isn't a black and white thing, and men do of course get dismissed by professionals too, but it is a genuine problem which is massively skewed towards women. I have no idea what the solution is.

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Smugness1917@reddit

I'm sorry about your mum. I wish all the best to her and the family.

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ScarletHorizons@reddit

Thank you

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v_clandestine@reddit

A friend of mine, her mum was misdiagnosed and she made a claim against the NHS and got a huge pay out and is now in remission. I understand probably not what’s on your mind right now, but if you have dependents it could help, worst case scenario.

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morkjt@reddit

My father was sent home 3 times from his GP, told he had a cold, told he had an infection and told he might have bronchitis. 3 times doesn’t sound a lot but this was a man who refused to go to the doctor most of his life, but at this point my mother insisted because he was coughing up blood. I was in another country at the end of phone and knew you don’t cough up blood and not go to the doctor.

TL;DR he died 3 months after the last time he was sent home by his GP with nothing to worry about - extremely aggressive lung cancer that a consultant diagnosed as ‘the size of a rugby ball’ - 6 months end to end.

GP was struck off and my mother received some derisory payment from the NHS. At the end I felt quite conflicted by it - his GP was newly qualified, clearly overworked and inexperienced - yet entire career went down the tube because I felt the NHS put all the blame on them.

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Ok_Broccoli4894@reddit

To get to a GP level you have to have years and years of training. It isn't a case of being inexperienced - by the time you're a qualified GP, you have been in the medical profession at least 10 years. It is one of the most highly skilled professions in medicine and one of the most highly paid. To miss such a blatant symptom of lung cancer is absolutely unforgivable and I think it was the right thing to strike them off.

I am so sorry your father was failed and he passed away.

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techyy25@reddit

Well actually in the UK they will let trainee GPs, ie those with only 2 years of training after med school, examine and treat patients by themselves.

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fishonthemoon@reddit

Aren’t they overseen by another provider?

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MermaidPigeon@reddit

Christ…

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Prof_Hentai@reddit

So they should. They’re qualified.

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Wonderful_Welder9660@reddit

Yes they are clinical students, they don't do it in a vacuum. "Trainee" sounds like a 16 year old apprentice

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DreamOfAzathoth@reddit

The thing is though, this isn’t a unique experience. Everyone has stories like this.

My dad reported with chest pain, shortness of breath and they said he’s just stressed. He had a heart attack and they said he had had multiple heart attacks and it was unbelievable they missed it. Thankfully he’s still alive.

My grandad repeatedly went to his GP with UTIs. They kept giving him antibiotics and said he needs to drink more water. This happened for years until he ended up in hospital with multiple organ failure due to sepsis. They found massive kidney stones and, again, the hospital was stunned he wasn’t referred.

There’s something systematically wrong and pinning it on any individual misses the point entirely

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MermaidPigeon@reddit

That’s so understanding of u. The GP prohaps should not have been fired. The people that should have been fired are the people that made decisions leading to a completely overwhelmed NHS. This doctor will find another job though and the fact they lost their job is in no way your fault or your family’s. Did your mother sue? I know she got paid compensation but this is often a lot less then what court can provide

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DocterSulforaphane@reddit

Sorry to hear this. Did he not send him for more tests after the blood?

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morkjt@reddit

He eventually was taken to hospital after collapsing and struggling to breathe. Was thought to be a heart attack was not, was simply massively reduced lung capacity.

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MermaidPigeon@reddit

I wish I was shocked at the reply’s on this comment but I’m not. Our NHS needs fixing and is completely overwhelmed. I’m so sorry you all went though this 😞

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Tao626@reddit

My nan made a claim with my grandad after he had been misdiagnosed not having cancer a few times and ended up dying due to it. She ended up donating the payout because, and probably more for her own peace of mind of not profiting from this, it wasn't about the money.

But yea, loved ones can still follow up on it after the fact.

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QwenRed@reddit

Find this incredibly selfish, doctors aren't perfect, the NHS is an incredible system and then people sue them for massive pay-outs which only degrades the service for everyone involved.

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tunnocksmystery@reddit

This also happened with my father in law. I helped him get the ball rolling with the claim and he did knowing his wife and children would get a significant payout.

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sashabobby@reddit

My father passed away due to a misdiagnosis. Doctor told him he was just sick and to go home, but it was more. My family didn't get a payout because it required postmortem at prove where we were at the time.

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Ok_Adhesiveness_8637@reddit

My old mans symptoms were put down to his copd (he worked in a textile factory back home), till he passed out one day, got rushed to hospital, only to be told he had terminal acute myeloid leukemia.

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FlatCapNorthumbrian@reddit

There’s an ever increasing amount of 30-40year olds getting bowel cancer and having it missed by GPs because they’re “too young” to have it.

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tsoert@reddit

Yup, I've diagnosed someone at 32. I've also found multiple women getting advanced breast cancer in their 30s as well. I've become very very wary compared to how I used to think. Thankfully I'm in nz now so can get an ultrasound or xray within a week without too much issue. The healthcare system in the uk is frankly broken to the point that patients are clearly and dangerously suffering whilst doctors are getting more and more burnout

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FlatCapNorthumbrian@reddit

Honestly, if a medical company could do relatively cheap testing I’d pay for it. We shouldn’t have to with there being the NHS.

But to try and avoid GP misdiagnosis or them not wanting to do tests because of a person being young. I’m sure there’ll be people should prefer to pay and have peace of mind quickly.

Now, as I said before it shouldn’t have to happen. Surely like with anything if the NHS developed a testing centre the more it’s done and on larger scales, the cheaper the tests should become?

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tsoert@reddit

I moved to nz to practice. Biggest thing that blew my mind was being able to get same day routine bloods. Would have taken a month in the NHS, more due to phlebotomists than lab staff

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whatevs_42@reddit

Where were you a GP in the UK? What you’ve described is not my recent experience here. So sad you felt the need to move to nz. The son of a friend of mine is just about to qualify here in London and he says there are constant approaches to him to go and work abroad (he’s not keen because he loves his life here but it must be tempting to many)

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tsoert@reddit

North West. The state of the NHS wasn't really my driver to move out of the country, I was always going to. If I hadn't gotten married I doubt I'd have stayed beyond my first 2 years tbh. The world is a big place and should be explored. My life in NZ is hands down better than it was in the UK

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Atrivo@reddit

I work in an NHS lab and I wish more people understood this! We regularly get calls from doctors and consultants in the hospital complaining that the urgent bloods they ordered 6hrs ago aren’t resulted. Well, they’re not resulted because we only received them 10minutes ago!

Most of our results can be turned around within about an hour, GP work is usually same day. The delays are normally due to issues to do with sample transport, or the sample being taken incorrectly!

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EmFan1999@reddit

Yes it’s actually insane how cheap many scans and tests are, and yet people just wait around for them on the NHS or accept a no from their GP. I know it’s been ingrained in us to do this, but the NHS no longer functions as it once did, and we should get into the mindset of paying

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whatevs_42@reddit

I suppose we could also get into the mindset of paying a bit more tax

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FlatCapNorthumbrian@reddit

I think it’s also the thing of people viewing private medical tests etc being in four figures. It would help if the private companies advertised.

But also if it’s that cheap for a private company to do it. Does the NHS pay over the odds for each test? It should be just as cheap, if not cheaper for the NHS to do one. And £50 or less is worth a test than potentially giving someone a death sentence further down the line due to refusing to test them.

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arabidopsis@reddit

Theres over the counter kits of detecting bowel cancer or at least indications of it you can then give to your GP to demand they do a blood test.

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Far-Presentation6307@reddit

Earliest I've diagnosed breast CA is 26 (so far). Scary shit treating patients younger than me!

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tsoert@reddit

Yup, large mass and axillary lymph nodes in a 32 year old with no family hx. Went home that night and insisted my wife self check that might!

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fuzzywuzzy20@reddit

My brother had bowel cancer and was told the same thing when he kept going back to the GP because he knew something was wrong. By the time we found out it was cancer it was stage 4 and had spread to his liver and lungs. Died 2 months later he'd not long turned 30.

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VexedAndVomitHexed@reddit

A 31 year old relative of mine just had this exact thing happen. The GP dismissed concerning symptoms and they've now been diagnosed with bowel cancer. So fucked.

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FlatCapNorthumbrian@reddit

I feel the media isn’t really covering this properly. Just from my one comment here there’s been multiple stories of this type of thing happening.

I feel that the news media should be trying to do a story by getting as many of these instances where GPs have failed to follow up concerning symptoms. If they gather lots of stories from people who’ve ended up with cancer or from families of those who the NHS failed and are no longer here.

Testing ages needs to be lowered and awareness that these cancers are becoming so much more common in younger people these days. And that they’re being ignored by GP practices, sometimes ending in a death sentence for younger people.

Private testing also needs to be promoted. For the equivalent of £1 a week a person can do a yearly private, at home test that you send back in the post and get rapid next day results once they receive the sample.

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itsaride@reddit

Rates are increasing in younger age groups and obesity and processed foods are blamed. But the rates under 50 are still way lower than older age groups.

Once you get over 50 (I'm 58) they send you a kit out every two years to send them a (tiny) sample.

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ShowMeYourPapers@reddit

I'm 60 and was diagnosed with bowel cancer. I only found out because of the NHS's home sampling kits they send out to we oldies. It was caught early and cut out. No GP visit necessary.

The minimum age for these screenings really should be a lot lower.

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vemailangah@reddit

I wal told by my GP that I'm too young to have bowel cancer despite my dad having it in his 40s so in order to get a colonoscopy I need to provide evidence of having the generic version despite having symptoms. GPs kill more people than they cure.

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Gulbasaur@reddit

I went from "You're too young to have XYZ and anyway men don't get it very often" to "Oh, that's unusual in men of your age" when they actually investigated it properly following an emergency referral.

Thankfully it was nothing life-threatening, but I was written off because I didn't fit the demographic.

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IAmLaureline@reddit

I was diagnosed at forty but I'd had it for at least five years by the time they finally found it. Female, obviously, which is why I was ignored.

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whatevs_42@reddit

I hope you’re with family and have friends around, too. You all need care and support from each other. Anything you do to alert others to what was missed in your case is going to be helpful. Even small scale emanates. You sound a very good egg and I’m so sad you’re going through this and I wish you love

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ArtfulThoughts@reddit

Im so sorry. This is entirely unfair. I hope you are getting all the pain meds you can to be comfortable and saying yes to every slice of cake.

I wouldn’t bother with a complaint. It took nearly a year to get a response to my mum’s cancer and I think that was partly because my father would have died before they got their act together.

Awareness. Videos. Contact press and see if they would be interested in your story.

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AdhesivenessNo9878@reddit

What were your early symptoms? Maybe at least awareness of these could help people?

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

My neck swelled a bit.
Kept losing my voice, or going raspy but it would come back. Then tiredness.

It was all non scary, a bit annoying and irritating.

I will say this- it was my dentist who actually recognised how serious it was.

So always get your check-ups, and ask them for a neck check.

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TooLittleGravitas@reddit

So sorry this happening to you. It's great that you want to use some of your remaining time for others. Go you.

My current dentist does a lot of feeling around my neck and jaw when I have a check up; never had this with any other dentist in the past. I guess I found a good one.

I don't want to be sexist, but the under-diagnosis of women as 'menopausal' etc is criminal.

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LifeMycologist2544@reddit

I am a dentist who has referred people with suspected head and neck cancer, one in particular who had a lump in their neck. Seeing your dentist is vital, we can refer into hospital care where you will be seen within 2 weeks. This is one of the main reasons dentists see you 6 monthly. Look on this website for an at home check recommended to be completed every couple of months.

https://www.mouthcancerfoundation.org/self-examination/

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Dapper-Web-1262@reddit

My last dentist appointment, they actually felt my neck, first time ever

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Viggojensen2020@reddit

“ This is one of the main reasons dentists see you 6 monthly”

I had not considered this, booking my over due appointment today, thanks for the heads up

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eraserway@reddit

Also a good reason to have regular checkups at the opticians.

It's easy to think "oh I'm not having any issues so I don't need to go" but the whole point of checkups is to catch problems before they get worse - including problems you're not even aware of.

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Confident_Drop8326@reddit

I have never had an eye test in my life and I'm adult with kids and a mortgage. I shall book one now

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EllebumbleB@reddit

My optician discovered I had a swollen optic nerve during my eye test. Apparently it can lead to blindness if left unchecked!

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Altruistic-Brush6817@reddit

Was there any treatment involved? Mine told me I had one too but nothing further than that

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EllebumbleB@reddit

I took medication for a few weeks & then I had regular opthalmology appointments for a year or so after. I lost a bit of weight which apparently helps reduce the pressure.

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RainbowButterfly33@reddit

IIH I’m guessing?, been there. It sucks.

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TheD4rkSide@reddit

Not to hijack this post at all, but yes, go have regular eye tests. My optician discovered a white mark on my cornea and sent me to the hospital with a referral. It turns out I have familial hypercholesterolaemia which a generic mutation that causes absurdly high cholesterol that can be fstal if not managed and is 50% chance to pass onto my kids. This is nowhere near the same as OP, but again reinforces the idea that you should see the optician.

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UserCannotBeVerified@reddit

My aunty had a tyoe of skin cancer in the back of her eye that was caught by a Boots Photos developer when she went to pick up her photos. Instead of the flash reflecting red/the blood in the back if your healthy eyes, one of her eyes reflected bluey/green like an oil slick. He told her to go to an optician, who told her to go to hospital, for what turned out to be cancer at 21years old. She had treatment, and has been vancer free ever since, but she couldve easily not known about it for years/until she died if it werent for the film developer bloke and the optician who sent her to hospital

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EnormousD@reddit

I hope she took the time to thank the photo developer! What a legend

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Grand_Duke_Mindaugas@reddit

Glad to see we can be of some use in Genetics. Hope the process was as smooth as something a bit shit like that can be

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soncam99@reddit

It’s worth doing - I got diagnosed with an under active thyroid after my optician referred me to my GP after a routine check up.

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Winjin@reddit

Look into what's called "dispanserisation" we did that in USSR and it rolled over to Russia

Basically it's an extensive test of most basic stuff. Yeah, it's sometimes treated as overdiagnosis but if you understand that "there are no healthy people - just underanalysed" you'd be fine.

Just a quick look-over triage of everything to make sure you've got no immediate concerns

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Steve8557@reddit

Yeah 100% would recommend. They test the health side too and for the sake of £25 or whatever it is every few years it feels worth it.

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Joe_Kinincha@reddit

About 15 years ago an eye test caught a toxoplasmosis infection just starting to merrily chew its way across my retina. Would 100% be blind today if it wasn’t caught.

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idlewildgirl@reddit

omg, yes I got sent with an instant referral to the eye hospital after a check up. luckily nothing to worry about but my friend got her brain tumour diagnosed when she went for laser eye surgery

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chaossensuit@reddit

I had not gone for an eye exam in years. I got a job with great insurance. The best I’ve ever had even after working for a hospital system for years. The wonderful doctor noted that I had the start of cataracts. Too early to do anything about now but now we know and will be watching. I am so thankful and I truly wish everyone in the world could have high quality insurance.

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slutrat303@reddit

Is it possible to ask for a referral now? I live w lots of oldies, + the wait is super long (in my area)

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chaossensuit@reddit

That is a great idea and one I hadn’t even thought of! I’m in the US and wait times are ridiculous here as well. I had a TIA and the wait to see a neurologist was 1 full year. I will ask for a referral now just in case. I also didn’t realize what sub I was commenting on so I apologize! In any case thank you so much for the great idea!

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Max1357913@reddit

Would you recommend even in your 20s? I’ve never had any vision problems ever, but also never had an eye test - I’m 24, and I can’t lie, this whole post has scared me a bit!

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eraserway@reddit

Yes of course, it doesn't matter what age you are. Tbh it's worrying that you've in your 20s and you've never had an eye test. They should be a regular thing from childhood just like dentist appointments.

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Max1357913@reddit

It’s interesting you compare it to the dentist, I’ve never considered it like that. I suppose statistically the vast majority have had a cavity by their 20s, whereas unless there are obvious vision issues, you’re less likely to face problems with the eyes until you’re older.

I don’t think my parents ever went for eye tests until their mid 40s - would you recommend annually?

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slutrat303@reddit

They'll normally tell you how often after your test

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slutrat303@reddit

Yup, lost my vision in one eye. Not all A&Es do eye stuff, so I called in for an emergency optician's appt to check for anything nasty. They were really good, checked me our, + advised I see my gp for retinal migraines

They also let you get a free eye test before yours is due if you have any vision changes - mine is 2 years now as I'm an adult, but I have a developmental condition so my eyes are still in their teenage era + I get a new pair every year

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lookhereisay@reddit

Please do. I worked as a Saturday girl in an opticians in my teens. Twice we had the optom discover brain tumours that were able to be treated and dozens of diabetic patients.

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Bgtobgfu@reddit

Yeah my optician told me she regularly catches diabetes in people otherwise unaware.

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shorttimelurk@reddit

I will second this...so important even if you're not having vision issues. My aunt lost her eye recently to a cancer picked up by the optician with no symptoms at all. If she'd not had that eye exam who knows where the cancer would have got to before being found. Yes she's an eye down, but prosthetics are good and she's cancer free.

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wendz1980@reddit

Agreed my last eye test caught my high BP and type 2 diabetes.

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cwtches10@reddit

My mothers optician told her she either had high blood pressure or diabetes. He could see small changes at the back of her eye. Turned out she had both.

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guitargal75@reddit

My optician picked up a burst blood vessel, I am now under the hospital have injections in my eye to treat said blood vessel.

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deliciousprawns@reddit

Prevention is better than cure!

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msmoth@reddit

Yes, absolutely. My mum has been diagnosed with a really rare condition that was identified by her optician.

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ARobertNotABob@reddit

In engineering circles it's known as Routine Preventative Maintenance.

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Gingy2210@reddit

Like glaucoma, I was suspected to have have it at my regular check up. I was sent to another specialist opticians within a week and that was free. Turns out the high pressure in my eye was just my white coat syndrome but it was better to get checked than not.

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Odd_Scar836@reddit

I’ve just been ignoring my letters for my opticians check up. Guess I’ll be getting that booked!

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4ever_lost@reddit

I haven't been to one in about 15 years, maybe I should

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Thisisth@reddit

Same.. I’m booking it now.

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paegus@reddit

My last appointment the dentist was very curious about new dark and quite hard spots on my nose and cheek. I'd like to say border line freaking out. "need to get them checked asap".

She got me a mirror and I just scraped off the 2 paint splats and thanked her for her concern.

I'd just come from repainting our bathroom.

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thepatientwaiting@reddit

I miss my dental tech, she was incredibly thorough and always said out loud what she was doing, which included oral cancer checks. I love when medical professionals say plainly what they are doing when examining you, it makes me feel that I'm part of a conversation, not just an inanimate object they are poking.

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slutrat303@reddit

I love how patient mine is w me - I have autism like the other reply, + struggle to understand what's happening at most appts (I used to have support workers, but budget cuts happened)

They will explain the same thing multiple times + don't mind me verbally repeating info (:

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Uniquorn527@reddit

I told the dentist how it helps my anxiety a lot to know exactly what they're doing and why they've put it in my notes to do that at appointments. I'm autistic and dentists are a sensory overload hell, but this helps me be ok in the chair. I didn't know about the oral cancer checks either, I didn't know that's what they're doing when they start squeezing around but it's good to find out that someone experienced is checking and there's a record.

My regular dentist, dental nurses, any specialists and the hygienists are always really excited to talk about their work because nobody ever cares, most people just want to be in and out. So it's a win for everyone. I'd say it's definitely worth asking reception if they can put it on your notes that you like to be informed during appointments. You might just become their favourite patient!

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Eeveecornell1972@reddit

Yeah well as an ex dental nurse who is now disabled due to the hep b jabs I had to have for my work ,and don't say that's not true,look into "royal free disease" that's what M.E used to be called due to the amount of nurses who came down with it after their hep b jabs ! And look into how many dental nurses have chronic fatigue syndrome (the new name for M.E),I'm disgusted at the state of NHS dentistry i.e NO ONE can get an NHS dentist ,and you know that,so how many people are going to miss getting diagnosed via a dentist now. Just before they stopped NHS dentistry in our village dentists,that I had been a patient at for years ,they luckily caught a sinister looking buccal growth,got it removed and it was thankfully nothing,but imagine if it was after the NHS dentistry stopped and it was something serious ! I'm on disability benefits so can't afford private,and that's the thanks I get for being a dental nurse for years and now not being able to ever work again

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monitormonkey@reddit

Thank you so much for doing that.

My dentist caught my mouth cancer really quickly. Two surgeries, meds, etc. and it was gone in 8 months. Couldn't talk for a good bit, not that the husband and kids complained lol.

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DoubtfulChilli@reddit

I'm lucky to see my dentist every 3 years 😩 it's not their fault, things are just getting stretched too far

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Straight-Society-405@reddit

I've never been told this. If I had known this I would probably have been better about remembering regular checkups 😅

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Acrobatic-Arm6482@reddit

Interesting how my dentist was saying how there such an increase in these cancers recently.

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Armodeen@reddit

Probably be better if dentistry was affordable in the UK tbh. Or better yet, considered healthcare and free at the point of use.

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ChampionshipBorn7610@reddit

Thank you for your work. I'm not scared of dentists, but I've not had a check up for 2 years

Check up now booked in for next week. Wont be missing these again

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Sherry_Brandt@reddit

look, u/Disastrous-Design503 - you're already helping other people be ok.

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OneWeirdTrick@reddit

Not in Scotland, where they've changed dental appointments to annually rather than increase taxation. Because people would rather be sick than pay a couple of quid a month more.

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NaniFarRoad@reddit

6 monthly dentist checkup? Where do you work? Here we have an appointment running yearly (this is also lucky), but it tends to get moved back a month or two every couple of years.

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CrackersMcCheese@reddit

My dentist has now moved me and my two young children to yearly checkups as we are “low risk and brush well”. Should they not have?

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daern2@reddit

Thank you for the reminder. I have always seen my dentist every 6 months since I was a kid, mostly because I know that teeth are not an area that thrives on neglect and that often small problems can be solved quickly through early detection. I was always encouraged by the behaviour of an otherwise healthy colleague who hadn't visited a dentist for a decade because he knew that they would only tell him bad things. Muppet.

I had never considered cancer as a possible thing that could be picked up, so it's good to know I've been doing the right thing, and I shall continue my crusade. Thanks!

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foreverunamused@reddit

I had no idea of that - I've still not registered at a dentist since moving house 18 months ago. Really need to get on that!

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Ella-wese@reddit

I am so sorry OP, cancer is cruel and unfair at any age but unfathomable when not lived a full life, watching my dad struggle with the effects of esophageal cancer was soul destroying.

Obviously you were talking about a wider spread impact, not just 1 person so while this may not count for much just wanted to say thank you to yourself and the Dentist above.

Have struggled massively with health recently, many issues but inc losing nearly half my body weight and swollen glands, one in neck constant now and getting gradually bigger. My dentist, not happy with Dr action, referred me to maxillary / maxoli face ??? (because of my tongue and other oral issues they said were systemic) but warned me of v long wait and said I'd need to chase it when it timed out - which it has.

I wasn't going to worry as the weight loss has stopped as I manage on yoghurts and my GP is happy but reading your post and Dentist's reply I now will just in case.

I'm thinking of you x

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officearsehole@reddit

All well and good if you can actually find a dentist!

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WealthMain2987@reddit

I wondered why my hygentist did that everyone time I go ( 6 months)!

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skankyfish@reddit

This is so, so important. My dentist referred me to maxfax for a lump on my hard palate, after I rang to ask for advice about it. "Probably nothing tomorrow about, but I'll write to them, don't worry" - he was kind and reassuring. I was seen at the hospital within a couple of weeks, and it was a carcinoma. Had surgery two days after the biopsy results came in (there was a cancellation) and that was that, that was my entire cancer treatment. The strong antibiotics and the wound care for my skin graft were the worst part.

So yeah, everyone, go to your regular dental checkups and tell them if there's anything worrying you or if anything has changed in your mouth. If you catch it early it can go well!

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GeneralExisting3978@reddit

I did not know that

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Dazzling-Ad6085@reddit

Yes they can.

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northernbadlad@reddit

I had a patient in their early 20s who first presented to the dentist with tooth pain and what they had assumed was just an abscess. Sadly it was pretty obvious to the dentist that it was an aggressive tumour in the mandible. Referred in to us for surgery/chemo/radiotherapy. Osteosarcomas are a nasty business.

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FreddiesNightmare65@reddit

I'm making an apointment for next week. I have hypothyroidism and haven't felt right for months. Recently started getting sore throats on and off, voice is hoarse, coughing lots, I can sleep 22hrs a day and I noticed this morning I have a bit of a lump on my neck. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Have you asked the gp's manager for a meeting about this? Maybe they can make sure they check people properly in future.

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Poobumwilly74@reddit

I have hypothyroidism, and I've had a constant throat infection for over a month which doesn't respond to antibiotics. I've got a hoarse voice, a lymph node up on the left side of my neck which comes and goes, and weirdly, my left arm is way hotter than the right. Also I'm so tired I can fall asleep on a dime.

I hope you get the care you need - urgently. I'm certainly going to be making an appointment after Easter.

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xxxxxxxxxooxxxxxxxxx@reddit

I'm so sorry OP. This is such an injustice I don't even have words to express my anger.

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Known-Importance-568@reddit

Doctors will almost never get cancer diagnoses right because they are under resourced and under staffed.

If you go to the GP you will realise that they work mostly on probabilities i.e. if you are 31 years old and otherwise healthy the chances of you having cancer are very small.

Most early cancer symptoms are indistinguishable from more minor illnesses so on a pure probability basis most GPs just tell you it's probably nothing.

I would love to see actual stats but I cannot see how a GP would ever pick up on a cancer diagnoses in someone young.

The NHS is a reactionary system which fails most people in actually preventing disease.

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tsoert@reddit

Gp's do indeed work in probabilities but they also work on time scale. See me once and yeah I'll probably suggest it's innocuous and watch and wait. See me again 2 months later with no change and we're absolutely investigating things further. As a gp who had picked up multiple cancer diagnoses in young folk, usually by listening and having the time required to think and double check notes. This was rare if not impossible whilst working in the NHS but you could still manage. From the grapevine, I suspect now is even more challenging as referrals to secondary care can get batted away by none clinicians if they don't fit strict referral criteria, leaving Gp's hands tied

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Known-Importance-568@reddit

By the time you have symptoms persistent and severe enough to warrant further tests the cancer is probably too advanced. I am not a medical professional but I imagine this line of logic only works against common and slow moving cancers.

The problem is you need to many stars to align for an actual system to work in a preventative fashion. A lot of doctors see the GP route as a cushy job and when you have 1 GP for like 3000 people you can't really manage well nor can you care much in general.

Then given the above you're not going to suggest invasive testing without good reason so you'll delay until things are persistent and serious. Then the assumption is your patients have the strength of will to keep coming back and listening to you tell them it's unlikely to be serious time and time again before they develop symptoms serious enough to gain attention. Many will simply not bother given how difficult it is to see a GP once let alone multiple times. That is if you can even get an appointment to begin with.

I rarely hear stories of good experiences with doctors. You guys are over worked and fed up with the system as it is so I have no expectation of a good service every time I have to use it and am still disappointed most of the time.

Mostly when I have to go to hospital to watch family members slowly die without being able to see a doctor because they only visit during ward rounds which outside of visiting hours and do everything in their power not to talk to you.

I know it's not you - it's the system but it's clear if you don't want to die you have to be selfish. So I abuse private medical for unnecessary tests to make sure when I experience symptoms that could be serious I get a thorough examination quickly.

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TheTBird99@reddit

All the more worrying that NHS Wales has changed their guidelines to routine check ups every 18-24months since 1st April…

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HobNob_Pack@reddit

You didn't have feelings like you were struggling to swallow did you?

Ive currently got what my doctors said is a 'stress' response.

Throat feels slightly swollen and swallowing feels harder than usual.

Been going on for 3 or so weeks.

Have had a camera down my throat and a ct scan on my neck and so far they said nothing..

But just wondering what your symptoms were

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I have had trouble swallowinv since the diagnosis. Yes.

But if you've got the scan you're halfway there.

They are looking. If it's there they'll find something.

My problem was they never looked.

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EpicEpicnessTheEpic@reddit

My wife has had some similar symptoms but the GP sent her for an urgent ultrasound, the hospital followed that up with a biopsy shortly after. So it seems some GP's, etc are on the ball.

You should be talking to a malpractice solicitor so that your family is provided for. You could write to your MP as well, make sure the GP gets a rocket put up them as it seems they missed some obvious symptoms.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I'm really glad your wife is OK. Ask her to share my story with her drs, so they keep up their good work

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own-muse@reddit

Sorry to piggyback but I came across your post as I'm in the way to the hospital for an ultrasound on my thyroid. My mum has only just had the all-clear from a cancerous tumour in the same area so I think they're concerned and trying to get answers asap. I am so angry for you that you were brushed off by the system.

My dad passed away three years ago from the return of a cancer. When the symptoms presented themselves he was brushed off for around a year before he was taken seriously and they basically shit themselves and rushed him through the process (even putting him though private treatment at one point) but by then it was already too late. Again I am so angry to see another person failed by a system that should be great, but has been put under strain by cuts. I am so sorry, and I know it's a small consolation but your post will have helped those who might be on the fence about getting checked out, and will push them to advocate for themselves.

I wish that your journey was a different one, but I hope that you have a comfortable rest of your life and that the next life (if you believe in it) is rich.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Thank you. I'm sorry you went through that.

And I hope you get a good result. I really do.

Good luck x

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EpicEpicnessTheEpic@reddit

Will do!

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Ok-Pipe-3578@reddit

As a medical student, it was drilled into us that hoarseness of voice = 2 week wait referral for a suspected cancer. Not really sure what's going on here.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I think what went on was lack of time, care and attention.

Overworked drs. Pissed off ppl who are too fed up to care.

Complacency.

Total misunderstanding of the menopause.

90% of the time, I'd bet their advice would've been right.

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Deagostini@reddit

My little brother, 18years old, just had surgery on his throat for concerns about cancer and it sounds so similar to yours. From what I understand it started in the summer and by a couple weeks ago he was getting blood in his throat :( we are waiting on the biopsy results now. For the whole time they thought it was throat infection and letting giving him antibiotics which didn’t work … how long ago did your symptoms manifest? How did they actually diagnose you?

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I think it was around a year from first symptom.

Swollen neck. That came and went initially, but then stayed. Hoarse voice Tiredness.

It was a dentist triggered the rapid access referral.

He was clear. There was no sign of an infection.

The swelling was enough for a scan for him.

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girlidontknoweither@reddit

so sorry this is happening to you, the NHS is so shit at the worst times. :( i currently have the exact same symptoms as you and waiting on scans/biopsy appointments to be booked, can I ask if your bloods came back normal or if they showed any issues?

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

My bloods were normal.

Just had aneamia.

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girlidontknoweither@reddit

thanks for answering, it’s super helpful. I really hope that the rest of your life treats you really well 🩵

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Deagostini@reddit

And they were able to see it from the scan?

Thank you very much for your answers 🫶

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Yes.

Sonar scan showed issues.

Biopsy was next.

Then contrast ct scan

And finally an mri.

This was treatable.

That first scan could have saved my life, six months ago.

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MaiLittlePwny@reddit

I put this in another comment, but sometimes they get lost so I wanted to put a direct one, hopefully you see it as I haven't seen others suggest the same things:

Also to add to this, e-mail your MP.

The shocking state of the NHS, GP and healthcare in general is part of central governance. You don't have to find only one person at fault. The GP didn't do thorough checks, and failed to see crucial symptoms leading to early treatment. However it is also unavoidably true that the GP is working in a healthcare system that has been burning to the ground on national news for 20 years.

The GP is responsible for everything care related and in the appointment, and the MP is responsible for how pressured the system is. Make sure both of them are absolutely aware of how they have failed you, and how that this can be avoided in future.

A lot of people forget to let the MP know their thoughts on the current state of the healthcare system as a whole. NHS staff are forced to work in a system that they have little control over, and budgets have continued to be reduced not just year on year but decade on decade. The overall budget has seen increases, but not even in line with population increase and age of population so it's an overall decrease. Services are massively reduced where they were 20 years ago, and this isn't a red vs blue argument. They both continue to fail us in different ways.

Make sure you let the MP know how they have not pushed for an overall improvement across the board. Rather than let them know it's an issue one of their constituents faced.

Also get in contact, or ask a relative to pass on the relevant information to your local PALS (Patient Advice and Liason Service) they handle complaints and they should highlight from your case what are called "never" events. These are events that should never occur, and there should be critical control points to prevent them from ever occuring. They will also respond with how they have improved services going forward.

You can also pass details on to any patient advocacy charities that are local to you and they can aggregate the information alongside other failure points and incorporate this into wider campaigning for patients. Pushing for an increase to GP appointments, funding, and resources so that appts are less pressured, more thorough and in the interests of patients, not targets. They can also push for a review of your case.

Obviously the second one is a bit time intensive and like others have said, you should prioritise time for yourself, with loved ones, and putting affairs in order. There's some threads on reddit that have advice on how to put away thoughtful things for others and how to help loved ones with the process. One example I've always loved is if you plan to hand over passwords, and details to loved ones so they can handle your various accounts you can change passwords to easter eggs they see when they utilise them. They probably wont do them all at once. So using memorable words like your hometown, in jokes, silly stuff can help break the thought cycles for them. Leaving pictures and notes on stuff etc. It keeps you alive and communicating in their mind just a little bit longer.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP and I really hope that your next weeks go about as well as they can given the circumstances.

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Thisisth@reddit

What tests would your GP have needed to request in order to diagnose it in time?

I’m so so sorry this has happened to you. I wish we had the type of healthcare that didn’t require patients to continuously advocate or fight for themselves. Women especially.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

First a neck examination, by the GP.

Then a sonar/ultrasound scan.

Probably some blood tests.

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nervousbikecreature@reddit

OP I just want to say that I've been thinking about you all day and I'm just so sorry that you weren't taken seriously. I hope the rest of your time is as good as it can be.

In answer to the comment you're answering here, I have a thyroid nodule that was biopsied and found to be benign, and the process was exactly as you described here -- I noticed a little swelling in my neck, GP felt my neck and other lymph nodes around my throat, referred me under the 2 week rule, I had an ultrasound-guided biopsy which confirmed the nodule wasn't anything to worry about. This is what should have happened. It's appalling that it didn't.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I'm really glad you got the good outcome. Tell everyone you know what should happen.

That's the only thing we can all do.

Knowledge is power

And keep on looking after yourself.

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cool_reddit-username@reddit

Sorry to hear what youre facing. Can you tell me, did you already have a thyroid condition?

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Traditional_Fox2428@reddit

My mum had thyroid cancer (not this one) but had had a persistent cough for a few months. Was living on simple linctus. Didnt want to bother the go for a cough. She also Used to get food stuck when swallowing a lot. Especially nuts. One day she was chatting to her boss (ex nurse) who noticed my mum had an Adam’s Apple when swallowing but it was a bit low for normal. Told her to go get checked out asap. GP recognised it straight away (his brother had had the same - all pot luck) and she was in front of a consultant within a week.

Luckily it was caught early and she made full recovery and 25 years later is still going strong. Didn’t cure the cough though!

So sorry the story for you seems to have been so different.

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LegoVRS@reddit

I mentioned in passing that I had noticed a bit of a lump on my neck and my doctor put me on a 2 week referral to the hospital. I had the "2 appointments in the same day" check. Ultrasound in the morning found a u3 lump then I had a biopsy. Initially the specialist missed the biopsy results and said they hadn't done one. I pushed back... A couple of days later I got called back in and a few days after that I had half of my thyroid removed to check if it was cancer. In my case it wasn't, Although the nurses talking outside my room about worried doctors, veins and lungs did have me worried for the night when I put that into Google... In the end I had a massive goitre and the surgeon had got very close to a vein and was worried a bit about bleeding. And apparently he could see the top of my lung from the hole they was left.

The nurse doing the ultrasound was telling me the vast majority of cases were the lesser types and thyroid cancer is highly treatable. She said she only saw about 1 case per year or the nasty one.

It's so important that if you think something is wrong and you get nowhere keep on pushing. And to listen to what is being said and make sure it's followed through correctly. I lost my mam to breast cancer after she had been dismissed by our local GP a few times.

I'm sorry to hear your news. I wish you well.

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Plumb789@reddit

I had a friend who was repeatedly sent away by his doctor-then his dentist sent him straight to the cancer specialist in the hospital. He was caught in time.

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catsnstuff17@reddit

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Dentists are brilliant and honestly the unsung heroes of cancer recognition (as well as other head/mouth/face/throat etc issues).

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feralhog3050@reddit

Yup, my late partner was referred to the 2-week wait by our dentist. Too late for him unfortunately, but he never actually went to the GP about any symptoms - though his symptoms were "ow my back hurts", nothing out of the ordinary for a 53 year old, & the point at which he mostly lost the use of his legs coincided with the scans, etc. He had neuroendocrine tumours, which are pretty slow-growing & notoriously difficult to detect, so the first anyone found out was when it had metastasised to his spine

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catsnstuff17@reddit

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Mattehbby@reddit

My dentist always checks my neck and I have always wondered why, I am so sorry this happened to you and wish you peace and love in this difficult time.

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KuroOni@reddit

In my university we were required to feel everything from the clavicle up, but in practice... Many dentists don't do it because it is a waste of time 99% of the time (though for that 1% it may be the difference between life and death), and those who may have been inclined to do it regardless will be discouraged quickly by the patients who will look at them in a weird manner when they get asked to expose their necks after they came to "a tooth doctor" as they would put it, because yes we can't feel your clavicles through your 3 layers of clothing, we won't ask you to undress completely but we may ask you to remove that wool sweater.

Some universities skip it in practice though, so, some dentists may have never been sensitized to their active role in early cancer detection in the first place.

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Mattehbby@reddit

In all honesty I would rather listen to any medical professional unless I went to the dentist and they asked me to bend over and cough!

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KuroOni@reddit

I totally get where that is coming from, I don't agree but I get it, hence why most of my colleagues won't bother doing it.

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zviiper@reddit

I don’t think all dentists do, until moving to a new dentist 3 years ago I’d never had a dentist examine my neck, but my current one does every check up.

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Mattehbby@reddit

Yeah same here, I have only been going to this one for about 18 months and I am sure I have never had anyone check my neck before, I always assumed it was something to do with my jaw or muscles but now I know what they’re actually looking for!

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mrsrsp@reddit

It was a dentist that spotted my dad's throat cancer despite him having seen his gp and been to hospital.

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flechette@reddit

That really really sucks and I hope you make the best of your time that’s left.

My dad went to unclog a shower drain and used a pipe unclogging chemical, not knowing my mom had already poured a different brand in the drain earlier. It immediately reacted and he was hit in the face and so they went to the hospital to treat the chemical burns.

Turns out when they scoped his throat they were like well don’t worry about the chemical burns, you need to get to an oncologist because you have what looks like stage 4 throat cancer.

And that’s how I got a call from my mom on 28th birthday that my dad had cancer.

Life is crazy.

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Amazing_Goal_8003@reddit

Just a woman here wondering how the F those were symptoms of the menopause… I’m so sorry OP, truly ❤️

Like suggested above, I think a few videos would be the most impactful. Perhaps a news outlet will pick them up.

I’d definitely make a formal complaint about the GP, they need serious discipline from GMC as this is gross negligence.

Your family could sue, once a formal complaint has been made to the NHS. Don’t bother with PALS they are for grievances, a formal complaint is a separate and more serious route. If you want suing as an option, you need to make sure all your letters, appointment records, stories and test results etc are understood fully by the family. Make a timeline on paper, attach relevant notes to each piece. Give them something they can understand during grief and that they can also show a lawyer.

Mostly though OP, just do something you all love. Try and see everyone you want to see, don’t waste energy on do gooders who are just showing up to look good. Take time for yourself and those you love ❤️ my DMs are open if you need any help with complaint procedure ❤️

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allthingskerri@reddit

Well I'm someone who never goes to the dentist unless I have a problem. So it's been years since I last went. I'm now booking an appointment. So you will have impacted just one person.

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parksa@reddit

I'm sorry that I don't have anything better to say than 'I'm so sorry this is happening'. I can't even imagine how you're dealing with this and the anger you must have. Voice changes should not just be waved away.

Sending you so much love internet stranger 💛

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Speedy_Dragon46@reddit

This exact same thing happened to a good friend and colleague. He was sent for speech therapy and even the speech therapist didn’t spot it. It was his dentist on a routine check up that noticed one side of his neck was incredibly swollen. By that time it was too late. He was a truly remarkable person and I still miss him terribly. I am so sorry this happened to you OP.

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Warm_Bat404@reddit

I’m so sorry, your GP is an absolute dickhead. I would have thought that your GP would be fired for literally dismissing early signs of Cancer, it is no joke.

In your situation, I would record a video just saying your goodbyes and who you want to take your stuff and things like that.

I’m so sorry again, we’ll see you on the flip side ❤️

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GroundbreakingYam921@reddit

Sue the GP, sorry to be blunt but I've heard sometimes financial consequences are the best way to motivate change in the NHS. If you can sue the GP the rest of the practice/health centre doctors will change how they work . You might not be here to see the outcome, but your family and subsequent patients will . I'm so sad you're in this situation.

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MermaidPigeon@reddit

Gosh I’m so sorry..my mum is having major issues with our NHS to :/ I’ve read countless story’s like yours I’m so sorry. I may get downvoted for saying this but sue. Or get your family to sue. I think money is the only thing some people listen to. I said this to my mum, the only way for her to wake them up is to sue.

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Toxic-Stew@reddit

YouTube

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Mighty_Machinations@reddit

Frustratingly gives me even more reason to question NHS and anything medical. News like this I'm afraid will not be the last.

Sorry they made and abismal mistake that's having an impact on you.

I'll be praying for you friend

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StrawbFroggo@reddit

I am sorry this happened to you, the medical world is so sexist. Share your story on social media and contact feminist activists/groups. Think someone also said email your MP.

A feminist group or activist will want your story to push for change, and they'll be able to tell it after your gone as a way to make that change and hopefully it will make an impact.

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RelationshipLife6739@reddit

This hit me much harder than I thought it was gonna I’m so sorry this has happened to you!

We had a family friend who had a similar situation and went to the optician complaining of spots in his vision after doctors had ignored it for months. Turned out to be stage 3 or 4 lung cancer that went malignant and spread to the brain and vision area of the brain. He was given 2 months and told he wouldn’t see the birth of his daughter.

They had him on experimental drugs and luckily got him an extra 2 years to see his daughter’s birth and the early years of his son’s life.

I wasn’t close with this guy compared to the rest of the family but his passing really really fucked me up icl.

This guy was a sailing coach, rugby player, musto skiff sailor and big time player in the sailing community in the uk in the last 1.5 decades.

Possibly the fittest person I ever had the honour of knowing (a straight up ATHLETE) and unfortunately passed at around 35.

RIP Martin, we all love you!

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your story

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Upbeat-Name-6087@reddit

You could make a video recounting how those early signs and symptoms manifested for you, and what tests would have caught it earlier.

Really though, I think you should spend the quality time you have looking after for yourself and your loved ones.

Be utterly selfish in that regard. Your loved ones are who you should focus on leaving okay (they won't be, but it will help.)

They are where you left your mark. The world is soon to be everyone else's problem. Let that be it's own kind of freedom.

I am sorry that you are dying. It's fucking unfair.

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PureHugeJobbie@reddit

Came here to say this. Make a bunch of videos and get your family to post them on social media constantly and repeat until they all go viral and get the message across. You would save a lot of people that way.

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MaiLittlePwny@reddit

Also to add to this, e-mail your MP.

The shocking state of the NHS, GP and healthcare in general is part of central governance. You don't have to find only one person at fault. The GP didn't do thorough checks, and failed to see crucial symptoms leading to early treatment. However it is also unavoidably true that the GP is working in a healthcare system that has been burning to the ground on national news for 20 years.

The GP is responsible for everything care related and in the appointment, and the MP is responsible for how pressured the system is. Make sure both of them are absolutely aware of how they have failed you, and how that this can be avoided in future.

A lot of people forget to let the MP know their thoughts on the current state of the healthcare system as a whole. NHS staff are forced to work in a system that they have little control over, and budgets have continued to be reduced not just year on year but decade on decade. The overall budget has seen increases, but not even in line with population increase and age of population so it's an overall decrease. Services are massively reduced where they were 20 years ago, and this isn't a red vs blue argument. They both continue to fail us in different ways.

Make sure you let the MP know how they have not pushed for an overall improvement across the board. Rather than let them know it's an issue one of their constituents faced.

Also get in contact, or ask a relative to pass on the relevant information to your local PALS (Patient Advice and Liason Service) they handle complaints and they should highlight from your case what are called "never" events. These are events that should never occur, and there should be critical control points to prevent them from ever occuring. They will also respond with how they have improved services going forward.

Obviously the second one is a bit time intensive and like others have said, you should prioritise time for yourself, with loved ones, and putting affairs in order. There's some threads on reddit that have advice on how to put away thoughtful things for others and how to help loved ones with the process. One example I've always loved is if you plan to hand over passwords, and details to loved ones so they can handle your various accounts you can change passwords to easter eggs they see when they utilise them. They probably wont do them all at once. So using memorable words like your hometown, in jokes, silly stuff can help break the thought cycles for them. Leaving pictures and notes on stuff etc. It keeps you alive and communicating in their mind just a little bit longer.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP and I really hope that your next weeks go about as well as they can given the circumstances.

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CV2nm@reddit

Only to add avoid PALS and go directly to formal complaint process with trust. At the same time request a SARs and add someone to continue on your behalf to form. This will safeguard your family if they decide to ever pursue a legal claim. I know it's not what you want to hear or should be thinking about as your life more is valuable than that. But I had a friend lose her mum very unfortunately in similar circumstances, and well, the paperwork kind of vanished when they looked into things a year or so later. My surgical injury paperwork also disappeared. I'm really sorry to say but if you want to sure this doesn't happen to anyone else, it sadly starts with stopping the trust you're under covering it up, as that is likely what theyll be planning at present.

Also very sorry OP for your circumstances, and how kind of you for thinking of others when your own time is limited. But when you've got limited sunrises and sunsets, sunny afternoons in the garden, staying up late chatting to a friend. Don't miss out on those final, last moments.

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Dead_route@reddit

Second this, and I’ll gladly come and film it for you. Please message me

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-Londoneer-@reddit

I’ll post it for you. Thinking of you stranger x

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somejaysoon@reddit

Thinking of you, We are not strangers, We are friends who are yet to meet?

❤️❤️❤️

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Chiskie@reddit

I am so sorry this is happening to you, this is painful to read

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anaisnintendogs@reddit

You are an absolute hero for doing this. Some others have already suggested the things I would but I just wanted to wish you peace and much love in the time you have remaining. You are a selfless person and I am so sorry this has happened to you. Much, much love to you.

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StrangerWest2756@reddit

I’m really sorry you’re going through this.

My dad passed away from bowel cancer, and it took about a year to get diagnosed because he kept being sent home with different medications instead of being referred for a colonoscopy.

It’s heartbreaking how often things get missed or delayed like this. I really hope more awareness and earlier investigations can prevent this happening to others.

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pdiddle20@reddit

I’m so so sorry OP

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International_Bar467@reddit

You can never fully eliminate human error unfortunately. You have to advocate for yourself with passion.

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FionaTheFierce@reddit

A lawyer and malpractice lawsuit would help them pay attention. As well as a complaint to their medical board. At the very least it will severely inconvenience them.

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Siroet@reddit

As soon as I read the title I immediately thought "I bet they're a woman". Doctors are so quick to dismiss symptoms women exhibit. I am so sorry this is happening to you OP. I have a nothing to add other than I hope you find joy in your remaining time here, and I hope the place you go to next treats you better than this one.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Thank you.

To be fair, the hospice has been incredible. It's taken do much worry away.

I would suggest that everyone finds their local one and donates whatever they can.

I've arranged some fundraising for the one im in. But everyone needs them.

Go find yours. Play their lotto games. Donate your old shoes to their shops! Give them a quid of the change from your junk draw.

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retardedclone@reddit

Even now, you do this . It's why i married you. Why we worked. A stunning thread you have made.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

4am crisis where I could feel myself slipping into dispair tbh. Trying to figure out if I'd be fucked or just unlucky,

Then I thought does that even matter now. Yes, I was fucked I was unlucky.

Nothing you can do to cnange that, but we can maybe affect the future a little bit.

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call-me-the-seeker@reddit

I want you to know OP that I am saving this thread to get up in my spouse’s doctor’s faces with.

They have been diagnosed with HPV-caused throat cancer and are currently having chemo-radiation. During the imaging to try and find the primary location, they found several thyroid nodules, but said that wasn’t the cancer they were looking for, Jedi-style, and that it would be something to keep an eye on but for now, MEH

The whole reason we initially went in was the ol’ changing voice and lump in the throat that they finally got serious about like three months later.

But they don’t seem to care about the thyroid lumps. I asked, is there any chance the swollen lymph node IS the primary? No. Any chance it is these lumps on the thyroid? Nah. Oh, okay, I guess you lot would know best.

I read now, googling papillary thyroid cancer, that it seems to be correlated to HPV and often co-occurs. WELL. So like I said, I’m going to start getting more up in their face about looking at the thyroid and not just some cancer they can’t even find yet are irradiating a person to eliminate. At the very least, even if it is not related to the throat cancer, it seems it has the potential to become malignant in the presence of HPV. We are all being written off, gaslit and pooh-poohed! I’ve had my share with being told my endometriosis was no big deal, for decades, so that by the time I finally had it removed my bowels and organs were glued together, I looked muchly pregnant, and it was a four-plus hour open surgery instead of a simple laprascopic one. It’s just your lot as a GIRL, they tell you. Stop being so histrionic, whiny and needy! The best years were taken from me but at least I’m going to have some others, and you will not. For what it’s worth I am VERY upset on your behalf, because this is the highest tier of wrong. Yes, you have been wronged, and if you FEEL that way, you are NOT being histrionic, whiny and needy! It is despicable.

Maybe you have saved my spouse and maybe not. But you tried, and that’s what counts in this world. It’s more than you got, and that’s not fair. But may it help you just a little that there is for sure someone out there that you are going to help. Maybe the doctors who boned this to the max will never let it slip by them again, and I hope that you or your family put this squarely in front of them and do not let them turn their faces away. Request verbally that they at the very least do right by you posthumously by not screwing anyone else over through inaction. Everyone cannot be cured that they will diagnose, but it damn well better not be because they couldn’t be arsed to LOOK until it was forgone.

I will save this thread, and raise a glass to you sometimes. That’s freezing cold comfort, for sure. Hugs.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I hope you give them hell.
But mostly that your wife gets sorted!

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grafeisen203@reddit

My mom's cancer treatment was delayed by 4 weeks because her oncologist wanted to go on holiday and apparently the best solution wasn't to start it anyway, or to assign a different oncologist, it was to delay treatment of a fast growing cancer by an entire month.

In those 4 weeks she went from having cancer in a few local lymph nodes to having it in widespread lymph nodes, prognosis from a couple of years to about 6 months.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

That is an earily family story.

Although, the more I think about it - the less I'm inclined to think that a 3 week holiday would have made much of a difference for me. I already had the fast moving clusterf*ck of a cancer going on the rampage.

I think they already knew I was a bit of a lost cause.

And, honestly - I'm at a point now were I think they made the right choice. 3 weeks of recovery for me and a tube in my throat would've been awful. This is a much better send off.

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ravnarok93@reddit

I have this form of cancer too and like your story it was also missed to the point it had reached stage 4 and I was rushed into surgery. I was given a 5 year prognosis as it had unfortunately spread to my lungs but I'm heading into my 10th year living with this damn disease this month. I was 22 when I got diagnosed.

Please feel free to DM me or whatever and I'd be glad to help you through anything. Whether it's advice or just general talk about it all. That goes for anyone else who reads this comment, always willing to help someone going through this.

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StakeKn1fe@reddit

❤️ Keep proving that prognosis was wrong.

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rohithimself@reddit

Really sorry for you. Hope you have loved ones close.

Only someone who has been able to somehow make it alive might be able to really tell you what to do from their experience.

If I were you, I would try to keep any thoughts about making the world a better place away, and would leave it to my family to take any action in that regard. I would probably want to write down experiences that I think shape my life just to relive them one more time.

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SocietyLate9443@reddit

I don't know what to say but will keep you in my thoughts stranger ❤️❤️❤️

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ExcellentPut191@reddit

What I wonder is who is giving the orders to GPs about how frequent they can refer people for further (expensive, high demand) diagnostic tests? If there was an abundance of availability for MRIs, US scans, etc, then GPs would refer you for literally anything "just in case" - however they don't do this, and instead are extremely reluctant to send people for secondary tests. But how is it that they come to this conclusion, are they being told by the higher ups that they have to cut back on referrals? Because this is the problem here, it's the mindset that they're trying to protect our "limited" NHS medical testing services. How do we change that? Is it an attitude thing, or is it simply reflective of how understaffed and underequipped our NHS is

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Logical-Childhood-90@reddit

I haven’t been to the dentist in ages because I’m not registered and putting off paying privately. Reading the comments here and how your dentist took you seriously, it’s motivated me to look at booking an appointment. So even your post here is doing some good. Wishing you all the happiness and love, I’m sorry this happened to you.

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Richy11988@reddit

I know this doesn't answer you question. There are already so many other worthy answers.

So instead I'll say, please consider opening your heart to the Lord, if you haven't already. This then will not by the end for you by any means. This will just be the beggining of a new life that is soooo much better than here.

May you have mercy with your pain until the end. God bless you.

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Interesting-Scar-998@reddit

I hope thst your family sued that stupid doctor who dismissed your symptoms.

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FireAntV1@reddit

Thinking of you and I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this.

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AdventurousCloud1950@reddit

So sorry you have been let down so badly. People seem to have posted some really good ideas in answer to your query. And for me, I just wanted to say, you must have such a big heart to be thinking like this at this point - thank you, and bless you. I’ll never know you, but I’m holding you in my heart and sending you such a big internet hug. You’ve clearly found inner peace with your devastating situation and I hope that can only deepen.

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Devilonmytongue@reddit

You could make a complaint to PALS. Go to the news. Share your story.

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InfamousCycle0@reddit

Sue them!

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Willing-Primary-9126@reddit

I'm sorry to hear this. It's way too common unfortunately ❤️

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Racing_Fox@reddit

Yep, GPs have this superiority complex and will do anything to fob you off

They’re a complete waste of time

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Okhlahoma_Beat-Down@reddit

When I went to a GP to check that a pain in my testes wasn't cancerous, he seemed genuinely annoyed that it was a concern and said "It's basically nothing, don't worry".

I booked a different appointment at a walk-in clinic, and the doctor there said it was something that needed antibiotics and that it was actually good to go and get checked before it turned into something far worse. It was dealt with, but only because I went for a second opinion.

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Kind-Tie5236@reddit

I REALLY wish there were walk in clinics where I am.

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Okhlahoma_Beat-Down@reddit

The area I used to be local to had a walk-in 'event'(?) at the larger hospital. Surprisingly empty, all things considered, but I don't think it was a permanent arrangement. A lot of plastic chairs and furniture in a side room.

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Kind-Tie5236@reddit

Weird. Marginally better than nothing I guess?

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Tacklestiffener@reddit

I just think GPs are like Terry from the local garage. He's a great mechanic and can fix anything from your lawnmower to your old Mondeo.

But if you turn up in a Ferrari you want him to say "I think it's your brake fluid but let's get you to the Ferrari garage to be sure".

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322Uchiha@reddit

this is genuinely the funniest 2 paragraphs I have read this month, thank you

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WOF42@reddit

that is utter fucking gibberish, what are you even trying to say?

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starsandshards@reddit

I think I understand it as, the GP understands their limitations and will refer you on to a specialist when they realise the symptoms are beyond their remit.

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_milfhunter__69@reddit

This is the worst analogy I’ve ever heard

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Thisisth@reddit

And now they’re even proposing to disincentivise GPs to refer to specialists or hospitals. It’s really the luck of the draw if you get someone who decides to pursue your symptoms.

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apple_kicks@reddit

I wish we overhauled gps with nhs. They’re not fully part of nhs but gatekeepers

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boyscoutalchemist@reddit

Yeh, this has been my experience throughout my life. You go when you are at your lowest, only to face some ego battle with someone who clearly dispises your very existance. I don't bother any more.

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ryanhealy@reddit

The only job I’d advocate for AI replacing, since it would likely do a better job

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Aware_Ad_431@reddit

https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2026-02-10-new-study-warns-risks-ai-chatbots-giving-medical-advice

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wordshavenomeanings@reddit

Thats the problem.

I know personally 6 people who have had cancer.

3 of them were ignored by GPs who put it down to a minor issue or symptomatic of an existing problem.

All three died, though 1 was very old and would likely have died regardless of when the diagnosis was made.

There is a growing change in how we interact with health professionals. Marthas rule is a big help, but it needs to start much earlier.

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ryanhealy@reddit

It would be nice to hear of GPs doing their fucking jobs for once instead of yearly pay strikes. How about earning it first?

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romansparta99@reddit

I’ve had generally great experiences with GPs. It’s one of the reasons I was able to get my MS diagnosis so much earlier than most people and so should hopefully avoid a lot of the more difficult parts of the illness.

The thing is, when your GP is doing a great job and everything is fine you’re not going to post about it online. What happened to OP was an awful mix of bad luck and a bad GP, but by no means is it representative of every GP, and as a whole it is a group that needs more support

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Saotik@reddit

I've got it right now, and while my treatment's going about as well as I could hope, it had already progressed far enough that we're not looking at anything like a cure but to try to extend and enhance my life.

I'm in Finland. I had been dealing with gut issues for a while and had been seeing a gastrointestinal specialist for a few months to try to find a solution, but it took some wonky liver tests and a clear ultrasound to prompt an MRI that found the first set of tumors.

Honestly, it's hard to be mad at how the system here has worked (or failed) for me - I'm fortunate that I could get a referral to a specialist, and when the usual treatments for IBS didn't help, she kept looking. Otherwise I think I could have ended up in a situation more like OP's.

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CertainlyRobotic@reddit

Sure am seeing this story posted a lot lately.

Almost every day I see a post on the front page that says

I have cancer and I'm dying in a week

Either the bots have figured out a story that gets them engagement and they're going to push it until it stops working

Or..

The rates of cancer are going wild

If OP is a real person condolences but.. it's started to get a little ridiculous.

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67yoloswag@reddit

Reddit stories are always bullshit 99/100 times

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No-Animator-8283@reddit

What a bizarre thing to say out loud to someone.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I gotta admit, I kind of love your cynicism.

Sadly I'm real.

Even sadder if all the stories are.

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floreal999@reddit

My wife caught her PTC by chance while having a CT for something else. I’m so so sorry this happened to you.

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MassiveClusterFuck@reddit

Doctors in the UK as a whole are pretty fucking useless when it comes to cancer if you are below 40, my mum had a similar experience where she had been to the doctor numerous times about pain in her abdomen, doctor kept saying it must be gall/kidney stones despite the pain not being in those areas as she was "too young to have cancer" she then seen another 2 doctors who said the exact same thing "you are too young to have cancer" which honestly blew me away. If kids can get cancer then how the fuck is a young adult "too young to get cancer"? Are they purely using statistics to make these decisions? That rhetoric needs to stop. Cancer should be considered at every single age and shouldn't just be brushed aside.

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Kind-Tie5236@reddit

The majority of people I knew personally who died from cancer were under 40. Most were in their 30's, but one was 4 years old.

I'm also really confused by all these articles saying "doctors said they were too young, now they're terminal."

Babies can be born with cancer, FFS!

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Independent-Bid915@reddit

Reddit normally makes me sad, but not like this. I am so sorry 😞

One thing I will say though, is that I have been reading the comments and there have been so many people sharing their experiences, which in turn seems to be prompting people to get things checked, that is a win, that is legacy.

The nhs has failed you, but, you have helped others. God bless you

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nieuweyork@reddit

Happened to my mum too. Thanks for thinking this way as you stare down the grim reaper.

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Careless_Homework_68@reddit

Having had, and been cured of, bowel cancer (stage one), I would say that by far the most important thing is early detection. I would personally encourage anyone who has any concerns to visit their GP as soon as possible and not to delay for any reason. Sending very much love to you

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kateydoll@reddit

OP, I am so so sorry. Your story resonates with me so hard - I spend most days baffled about why the company I work for isn’t already in every practice and mandatory. Reading this hurts because you are exactly why our technology exists, and I hate that I’m saying any of this after your devastating diagnosis instead of before it. I work for C the Signs (www.cthesigns.com). It was founded by two GPs who were fed up of seeing entirely preventable deaths and wanted to do something about it. Because here’s the reality - cancer symptoms can be so silent until it’s too late, and when they do show up they often look like completely normal, non-threatening things. And your GP has a 10-15 minute window to somehow account for 100+ cancer types. That’s an impossible ask without the right support.

The most powerful thing anyone reading this can do is ask their GP surgery: do you use C the Signs? We’re only in 25% of the NHS despite the evidence that it works. The investment in healthcare has always gone into treatment - rarely into catching the disease at its earliest, most treatable phase. That’s the gap we exist to close.

You asked how to help the next person. That’s how. And the fact that you’re asking it from where you are right now - I have no words for how much that matters.

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d_repz@reddit

Gross negligence by your GP. Speak to a good solicitor asap.

Wishing you peace and love.

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escapingfromelba@reddit

If the OP's story is true then there is no point. A hospice only admits you when you are at the very end stage (which is what makes redditing so strange).

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-EachPeachPearPlum-@reddit

End stage can go on for quite some time though. And just because you're in a hospice doesn't necessarily mean you are staying there. A hospice is a place that people can receive palliative treatment, and then go home again if they feel well enough. They can be admitted and discharged as many times as needed. I work in a hospital pharmacy and we supply the medication for our local hospice. Some are inpatient medications and some are discharge medications. Sometimes we provide end of life medications and syringe driver medications so patients can pace peacefully at home.

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-EachPeachPearPlum-@reddit

It's not just the GPs that are failing. The trust that I work for, and many others, are not reaching their cancer treatment targets at all. The target is 62 days from the hospital receiving an urgent referral from the GP, to the patient starting treatment. This is simply not quick enough.

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mudsweatandcurls@reddit

You seem like such a good soul, your first thoughts being "how can I help others". I can tell youre a very kind person.

It is truly, deeply unfair that doctors don't seem to have deal with any repercussions of utterly failing at their job in the worst way (aside from living with the guilt I guess...) At least, not much I know of? I suppose sometimes families can sue the doctor/practise or somethin, but what an agonising process that must be.

Like others have said, so it doesn't take away from your time with your loved ones/time doing your favourite things, maybe try and combine them? Take little videos, audio recordings of conversations, write stuff down about how this happened and what you think should change.

When someone's got a lot in their head and they don't know where to begin, I always advise using speech-to-text. Just blab away and you/someone can go in to fix grammatical errors after. Your thought and wishes will be so valuable to your loved ones.

There also may already be a campaign group out there who would appreciate having your testimony.

You've had an impact on me already. I know I need to push a few friends and family into getting things checked out. And I intend to be such a pain in their doctor's ass till its done properly.

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BlackberryNice1270@reddit

Awareness, I think. If you're not getting better, go back. And keep going back until they listen to you. Tell them they need to PROVE there's nothing wrong. Don't be afraid to challenge medics. Write a list of your symptoms and your concerns and ask them to prove why you shouldn't be concerned. Take someone with you who can fight on your behalf. Doctors are just people, they get things wrong.

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Similar-Hall-804@reddit

Omg this broke my fucking heart and I am so so sorry. The same thing happened to my Mum. She was sent away 6 times over 18 months and told she had a pulled muscle when in fact she had lung cancer and when she was finally diagnosed it was only because she went to A&E in agony and she died a month later.

I am so fucking angry this has happened to you and that this is still happening to people. I wish i was there to give you a huge hug and just kiss you on the forehead.

I love you and I know I am just another person on reddit but I will save this post forever to show people that this is still happening.

Thankyou for your bravery for posting this. I swear I will never ever forget you ❤️❤️❤️

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EvilInCider@reddit

I have spent some time thinking about this.

I would want to set up an advocacy campaign of retired medical doctors / current practitioners who might donate an hour or two of their time each month. I say specifically people from medicine, because they actually know what they’re talking about and GPs and consultants cannot bamboozle them or fob them off.

When I had thyroid cancer, the hospital consultant who fobbed me off (as I wrote in my previous response), told me there were no issues with my thyroid at all. It took my husband - a biomedical scientist - to point out to him that I had never had my thyroid hormones checked, so he was making a medically flawed statement.

As soon as a woman is told something may be down to either “hormones” or “menopause”, you automatically have the right to access a local advocate who can accompany you to future appointments about the issue in question.

This will be for women only. I know men will be angry about that, and men have things missed too by doctors. But men are never told it’s down to menopause because they do not have the menopause. They are never told it’s down to their reproductive cycle and that they should just manage it, because they do not have a reproductive cycle. These two distinct things are what doctors use daily to refuse women further examination or treatment.

If it is down to hormones or menopause, then the advocate could help push for proper investigation and management of the symptoms. At present, as soon as women are told it’s got anything to do with their reproductive system, that’s pretty much it. It doesn’t matter if you will continue to suffer for decades after being told that.

It might not be the thing that kills the woman, but it can leave the woman in pain or discomfort for months or years. I for example have lived a decade with periods that would only stop for a day or so, before returning. It started ever since I had thyroid cancer. Not one single doctor has cared about it.

In this way, we could at least try to get the treatment of women down to around the same standard as men (poor as it sometimes is, and I acknowledge that).

I don’t know how it would be funded. I don’t know how it would be lead. I don’t know how it could work. All I know is that I am tired. I’m tired of it happening to me. I’m tired of it happening to my sisters, my mother too. Everyone. And I’m also scared of what might happen next.

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terraced_cat@reddit

I'm so sorry OP, I can't imagine what you must be feeling. I'm a fellow cancer club member and it's so tough. I'm in awe of you using your time now to help others, so inspiring. Anything I can do to support I will - share videos, if you need to rant to a stranger etc.

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daddy-ketchup@reddit

Go enjoy everything you can. The fact you want to improve the world with your remaining time means youre a good person so you will be missed. I hope you make your peace and enjoy whats left. We love you.

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Nonies25@reddit

Share the symptoms, so women know to demand they not be overlooked.

My Aunt was diagnosed with stage 4 Ovarian cancer under similar circumstances. She died 15 days after she was diagnosed. It didn't have to be that way.

I'm sorry this is happening to you.

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Bonhomie_111@reddit

Make it clear to that doctor youre dying because of them. Make it clear that you could have lived, but they did a bad job and now there no time left to help you.

Your family is going to be crying over you years before they had to because of them. You never finished your bucket list because of them. Your home will be empty, pets and plants uncared for, because of them. Tell them everything youre going to miss out on, about every tear thats going to fall. Because they wrote you off.

I know it might sound petty, but you save the next person by making sure that doctor is never lazy again. Every time theyre about to go home instead of spending a few minutes examining a patient, they should think of you and the mistake they made that cost you your life.

Im really sorry OP. As others have said, this is so unfair, and its incredibly kind of you to be thinking of others at a time like this. I hope at least that the last few years have been good to you and that you can find comfort in these final days.

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CrazeUKs@reddit

Unfortunately, the NHS only care when they are sued.

Start a claim off, sue them, leave instruction tobyoru loved ones most of the money should be used to raise awareness

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thecrius@reddit

Literally there was a huge scandal not so long ago that was basically the same thing.

NHS big honchos have made a big deal of telling GPs to be more attentive and listen to the patients. I can see that they clearly got the message. Not.

I am so sorry for you. It's shitty indeed, I hope your loved ones are close to you.

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lychee48@reddit

They had a very good team then

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Moomoocaboob@reddit

Reading through the thread it is evident you’re already helping people. Thank you

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Ok-Ambassador4950@reddit

Really sorry for you. One of my best friends died of cancer aged 27. Started as cervical cancer, apparently she missed a few smear tests. Was so horrible to lose her. The hospice (in Clapham) were amazing.

What you’re doing now is most important - getting awareness of it. I hope the end is painless and you have your friends and family with you. All the best.

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Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

She wouldn't have "missed a few smear tests" by 27. She'd only have been invited to her first one at 25. They used to be every 3 years bur now are every 5 years.

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Isgortio@reddit

I'm soon to be 30, I had my first smear test at 25, second at 28 and the letter they sent me said to come back in 3 years (so at 31). I don't know if that means I'm higher risk or maybe my local area hasn't gone to 5 year checks yet?

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Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

It chanhe'd last year to every 5 years, so your previous ones were on the old schedule. It's more frequent for women with HPV

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Isgortio@reddit

Ah ok, I thought it was 5 years from the start anyway and was surprised when they invited me in after 3 years lol.

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msmoth@reddit

It depends on when/where this occurred. I'm in my forties and started having smear tests younger than 25. My local area still does them, or the HPV swab, every three years too.

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Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

That's a good point. I didn't realise it used to be younger. I've done a little research and it seems that the starting age was 20 from 1988 to 2003. So yeah, she could have missed 2 or 3 by 27 if this was 25 years ago.

The change from 3 to 5 years was only last year

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Ok-Ambassador4950@reddit

No, she died in 2014 so I guess I got the details wrong; but I know she missed a smear test (I remember her telling me her regret), and I thought it’d been a few.

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Puzzled-Barnacle-200@reddit

Thanks for the clarification. She probably received multiple letters asking her to come for an appointment. But it would have just been the one appointment she should have attended. What a tragic story

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No_Application_8698@reddit

I was going to say this. I’m in my mid-forties and I was called for my first smear test “1 year after becoming sexually active.”*

They then set up a schedule to do a test every three years, so I’ve had ~10-11 so far. I’d had 5 by the time I was 26 because the very first one wasn’t done properly so they didn’t have enough cells and I had to have repeat one.

The person who ‘missed a few’ could have been called back for repeat tests which were missed, so if they were recalls for unusual results this would easily explain it.

*Which they’d deduced from when I asked to go on the pill at 17 for contraception.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

Well that's not terrifying at all.

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Fit_Adhesiveness7307@reddit

If it was before that change, which is likely, she could have been called at 21 then missed the ones at 24 and 27 when it was too late.

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MysteryRockClub@reddit

My wife recently had bowel cancer cut out, after 4 years of anaemia that ruined her life and blame eventually put on her periods. Women get the smelly end of the stick too often in medicine. And it sucks.

I don't know what the answer is, but it definitely has to do with women's ailments being taken more seriously. And I'm sorry for your situation. I hope you're able to find some joy.

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columnradiator@reddit

That’s really awful and I’m so sorry to hear. Me and my wife have both got fobbed off by the GP and both with cancer. Hers 10 years ago and me last year. The only thing to do is what you are doing and tell people, and for folk to understand they must push for referral and proper diagnosis. That’s a big ask for someone that’s not generally a worrier/hypochondriax (I am). I’ve now got an unrelated back problem and a PT has been able to help where the GP was again fucking clueless. Thesedays the GP is a pretty awful gateway (or obstruction) to healthcare

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Stvoider@reddit

Always!

"What is your differential diagnosis?"

Also memorise the term: "I don't accept this outcome"

I've been dealing with the NHS for years over a long-term condition, and most of these people just want me to go away. If you go away, then the problem is gone, even if you die.

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ActiveSweet1586@reddit

Would it be worth trying Germanic New Medicine? For example, free books by Danny Carroll (Terminal Cancer Misdiagnosis). Doctors might be wrong.

Wishing you all the best x

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dropshipnovice@reddit

I'm so, so sorry that this is happening to you and your family, OP

Sending love and as much peace as possible in such a difficult time

And thank you for wanting to spread the word and using such precious time to try and help others - It says a lot about your character, and all of us in this thread are lucky to have walked this Earth with you

Please spend this time focusing on your and your loved ones

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FuzzbuttPanda@reddit

There's Jess's rule which means GPs are supposed to rethink a patients symptoms and problems after 3 visits with the same symptoms. If anyone has to go to the GP 3 times for the same problem its worth reminding them about this and pressuring them to reassess and try a different approach

https://www.england.nhs.uk/long-read/jesss-rule-three-strikes-and-we-rethink/

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Fadesintodust@reddit

Unfortunately from what I know the younger you are diagnosed the more likely it is to be aggressive.

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Bxsnia@reddit

Get on the news!!!

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DurgeDidNothingWrong@reddit

I mean shit, this post means I will at least push harder on my GP for deeper looking. Im sure im not the only one, cheers OP. Sorry for your shituation.

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TheTackleZone@reddit

There definitely needs to be more awareness of how women are ignored by doctors. A different story, but I've seen it first hand. At various points with young kids we've had to take them to hospital over the covid period where only one parent was allowed.

So my partner took them into A&E first (I wanted to, without going into family dynamics I've been the main emotional support to our kids) and after about 30 minutes would call to swap. Nobody was listening to her. All they saw was an "emotional over reacting mother" (my words). Totally ignored.

So we swapped. The experience couldn't have been more different. "Oh, a dad taking his kid to A&E, damn this child must be nearly dead". Immediate action, tests, the works.

Women are too often dismissed.

OP that's the campaign I'd start. Do you have a trusted person that will take this on? Could you start a charity in your name (names are powerful), maybe with a go fund me, and a video blog talking about your story and how you were ignored? Don't talk about a stretched NHS or a wider feminism angle (these are valid but dilute your message). Keep on point to the health service too often dismissing women. Then send it to all media outlets for awareness?

It's a lot to do, I know. But I think that's the single most impactful way you can stop this happening to other people.

And, without sounding too morbid, but if you are going to do something then start today. It has to be today.

So so sorry you are going through this. Your feelings are 100% valid, and happens far too often. Wishing you all the best.

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sugmaballezz@reddit

I agree with you, I am an immigrant and a free nomad to this world. I love British people and the NHS is a reason I am considering leaving. I am very afraid of losing my wife. She is sick often for small reasons but these dickheads who work in NHS scare me.

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Diligent_Explorer717@reddit

This is where I’ll get downvoted, but asking Gemini and gpt, helped with numerous health issues that my GP was missing such as kidney issues and MTHFR polymorphism.

I highly recommend people type their symptoms in detail to see what it says.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

So.

Yeah.

I worked in IT.

AI should not be trusted 100%. It's a tool. Don't think its infallible.

Quite a lot of it is impressive auto correct and sentence predictions.

The other stuff has been trained on the Internet. And I dunno if you've noticed but the Internet is full of mistakes and slop.

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Diligent_Explorer717@reddit

I don’t mean to be crude, but your knowledge is outdated and I think people would be in a better place if they gave it a shot after being repeatedly neglected by their gp.

You say it’s wrong (which is frankly outdated as newer models are well versed in symptoms), but your experience shows the worst case scenarios of what many people experience daily wit GPs.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

That's an inaccurate assumption.

I stopped working three weeks ago. I'm not out of date.

I am very aware of the power of AI.

However, right now thd race to make money is hindering it's true potential.

They will find a way. But it's not there yet.

[-]

Kobiash1@reddit

So sorry to hear this, OP.

What is your diet like? Do you smoke? Drink? Take vitamin D? B12?

There have been a few low-level studies that show therapeutic benefits of CBD oil. Might be worth a shot. You can buy it from Holland and Barrett online.

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danabrey@reddit

your knowledge is outdated

They just said that LLMs should not be trusted 100% with diagnosing medical issues. Their knowledge is not outdated.

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sugmaballezz@reddit

Try to leave power of attorney to someone you trust. Give them the power to complain and fuck these doctors who got you here. Because fuck those twats. i am done absolutely dont with NHS so many fucking sad stories. Fucking done.

Take care and enjoy your final hours with your loved ones.

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ratherbefuddled@reddit

I just wanted to say that your reaction to horrible misfortune, trying to turn it into something that benefits others, is admirable and humbling. Good on you.

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Hidemequickly@reddit

Reach out to chubbyemu on youtube ~ they make medical videos and it would be very interesting to have him medically explain the situation

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20127010603170562316@reddit

chubbyemu

That's one of the very few channels I have blocked from appearing on my feed. It is a bullshit channel.

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an7667@reddit

Even if it wasn’t, I can’t imagine a YouTuber talking through medical details would be anywhere near what OP needs right now

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Hidemequickly@reddit

My understanding was they wanted to protect others by explaining their situation which is exactly why I suggested it, what they need is for the NHS not to have left them like this and I truly sympathise - I was discharged with a broken bone unbeknownst to me

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Hidemequickly@reddit

In all honestly I was only recommending it because it has high exposure and I had thought they were legitimate medical takes~ I had no idea it was disingenuous channel // I thought op wanted to get the word out and the creator gives very thorough and informative breakdowns on people admitted to the ER/hospitals.

Genuinely felt this would be a good platform to share your message op. Iv no idea why so many people are against it (bar apparently the Chanel not being legitimate)

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BeatificBanana@reddit

I really don't want to look it up and have their videos recommended to me haha so could you summarise why they're bs?

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20127010603170562316@reddit

From memory, it's a lot of crap like "this guy ate 300 peptobismol and this was the result", rinse & repeat with any substance.

I don't think the creator is trustworthy. They masquerade as a medical doctor, when they are not. (they apparently are a pharmacist though)

It's just clickbaity bullshit with some lies mixed into the formula.

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scarletOwilde@reddit

First of all, OP, thank you for thinking of others. You are amazingly generous.

I'm horrified that your problem was overlooked until it got worse. I'm so very sorry.

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ssjwoott@reddit

Same thing happened to my Mom a few years ago when she was 58.

Sending love your way I am sorry that this is happening to you

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luna_sparkle@reddit

Different cancer but same also happened to my dad a few years ago- doctors missing obvious signs on the scans until it was too late. He made it to his 70th birthday at least.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I'm sorry it happened to your family too.

Much love x

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ssjwoott@reddit

I am not religious in anyway not the God bothering type been a pretty hardcore atheist my whole life. However when my Mom died I leaned on Christianity. I’ve never been church and I am still not religious at all but in the mess of it all it gave me comfort.

Anecdotally there was lots of strange signs after my Mom passed which I’m aware could be my mind finding patterns in things that aren’t there.

I’m just saying all this to say. None of us really knows what happens when someone passes but all I can say from my experiences that I think something does.

Sounds very stupid and the sadness never goes away. Whatever made up my Mom to be the great person she was. It is still out there somewhere I feel it every single day.

Even if it’s just the lasting love of a Mother for her son.

The truth is there’s nothing anyone can do or say to make you feel better about your situation I’m just saying as a total stranger that I do think there is more to this than we believe.

I’m not trying to convert you to any religion I do not have one myself I’m just saying wether it’s a religion or spirituality or whatever it is I do not think the “end” is actually the end.

Be kind to yourself and again I’m sorry the NHS is such a sham that this happens

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I'm not religious either. But I am seeing crazy coincidences every where.

And, I know energy can't be destroyed, just changed.

So I'll just be something else.

As for the nhs, I still sm grateful for it.

It could be better. But it's fixable.

If they keep it out of private equity hands.

Profit can never be it's priority.

People and efficiency. But not profit.

People and profit are why we're here. They've already snuck it in by the back door.

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changhyun@reddit

I, for one, won't forget about your story or this post. I know I won't be alone either. You touched a lot of people today.

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pumpkinjooce@reddit

Hi, it really sucks that you're going through this. My best friend died last year of a rare and aggressive variant of lung cancer, she was only in her early thirties. She was also diagnosed late stage and she got involved in medical trials, we all knew it wasn't going to help her but it might help the next person to come along with the same variant. I don't know if that's possible for you as I know it is dependent on many factors but it's just something to think about.

You could also write a patients' point of view article for publications like the nursing times or canceruk to raise awareness in the profession of individuals such as yourself who present atypically and progress quickly.

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PuzzleheadedFun663@reddit

I'm really sorry you're going through this and I truly hope that you are being embraced by your loved ones at the moment.

It's remarkable that you are still thinking about others and that you don't want for others to go through the same. Realistically, the best for you at the moment would be to record videos and share your story. I'd recommend contacting someone from BBC who can pick up your story. Better them than tabloids so that your story is taken seriously.

I wish you peace and blessings

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birkenheadhd@reddit

I am so sorry you are going through this. It's hard to muster up the will to make a GP appointment but you did it and they failed you.

In answer to your question, would you be up to making TikToks? I don't really use it much apart from the occasional doomscroll but short, attention grabbing clips could get your story out there.

On a personal level, I visited my GP twice in the last 18mo with concerns over neck lumps and a 'feeling' of discomfort...Second time I was referred for an ultrasound in the hospital but the report came back only to say that tiny nodules. If there was something more sinister would the ultrasound have spotted it?

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Apart-Chair-596@reddit

Between 21 and 24 i presented several times to the gp with tinnitus in one ear, dizziness, headaches and numb fingers.

Was sent away twice with an a4 sheet of paper on tips dealing with tinnitus.

10 years later...brain tumour.

This sort of thing happens too often.

Im really sorry this has happened to you!

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non_person_sphere@reddit

That's really shit.

Maybe you could write to the GP in question and explain your situation, say how you understand why it might've been missed but you wanted to share your experience personally with them so they can be more aware in the future.

Maybe you could speak to someone to look over your records and see if this was an easy miss? Maybe it's genuine negligence.

Could write to your MP and just tell them this is why proper diagnosis and not dismissing women's symptoms is so important?

I'm not saying this is the same situation AT ALL, but one thing I can really relate to is having your symptoms dismissed. I have had persistent feelings of fatigue since the age of 16 and I am now 31. It is very rare a GP cares about this and I've given up on asking them for help. I'm not saying it is the same at all but I can really relate to just not being listened to.

Maybe reach out to these people.

https://www.healthwatch.co.uk/what-we-do

A video could be really powerful, you could maybe get on the news if you wanted to and make a big difference.

You have a shot to potentially raise awareness about dismissive attitudes in healthcare and push for symptoms to be taken seriously. Could really change someone's life.

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Key_Plum_99a@reddit

I am incandescent for you. I now know what the symptoms of capillary thyroid carcinoma are, and I can see people in the comments saying they’re booking their overdue medical, dental and eye exams. Thank you for making your mark and impacting the health of all these strangers on the internet.

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weesypeesy@reddit

Im so sorry you are going through this. There are a lot of good replies to your question. I have one for you, is there anything anyone else can do for you in this last part of your life? You are so sweet to think of others, once thats underway, you need to do something for you. I won't give you prayers, they mean fuck all in reality, so I give you this comment whatever it is worth.

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Giralia@reddit

Ask your family to make a referral to the coroner when you’ve died. Raise concerns then that the death was avoidable and that they wish for an inquest. Whilst you’re alive document all your issues and also put a complaint in with PALs

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deiprep@reddit

Also get a copy of all doctors notes, appointments etc

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Key-Use5378@reddit

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, I want you to know it's not just you, and as a young woman I am learning from experiences like yours if something similar ever happens to me in future:

Something like this happened to my mother except it took even longer to get her diagnosed. She was bleeding heavily and constantly from 'downstairs' for 6 months. Doctors at Harrogate hospital (happy to call them out...) told her it was damn menopause, dismissed her symptoms and the only reason she got a scan was because my auntie who's a nurse caused a massive fuss and made it happen. Turns out she had a 7 cm carcinocarcoma in her uterus which she died from a few years later. I'll always wonder where she'd be today if the doctors took her symptoms seriously.

Legal complaints: I can add that she took them to court for medical negligence and won her case! It took a few years but she was determined and knew many other cases like her own.

I feel like more awareness is evidently needed in the medical industry, especially with training people to recognise the right symptoms and take women more seriously.

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schoolSpiritUK@reddit

Firstly, I'm so sorry to hear what's happened to you. I hope your remaining time with us is as peaceful as possible.

Secondly, the BBC News website has run quite a few articles lately on the subject of women's pains being wrongly dismissed, sometimes with tragic results – sesrch "bbc news medical misogyny" to get a good few examples.

I expect they'd be quite interested in your story, and hopefully it could serve as a warning for others, as you desire.

Peace.

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gingerniffler258@reddit

Papillary thyroid cancer remission here. Genuinely so sorry for your late diagnosis, and incredibly shit GP. Nobody deserves it. At all.

My thyroid cancer basically was there since I was about 16 according to my ENT who I was referred to (2 week cancer pathway from GP) after I had a weird rash show up on my neck and my husband noticed it was quite swelled up. I didn’t think anything of it, I literally was 20 weeks pregnant so just thought it was normal preggo swelling. No other symptoms. It’s a silent cancer I’d say, as much as people are like “it’s the easiest cancer to be rid of” like yeah but it’s still cancer and it can still fucking mutate. And even then you need to be on it with your GP, cause some will fucking dismiss you no matter what you say.

The butterfly foundation is super useful for resources on all thyroid cancers and could point you in the direction of some charities and foundations if you were wanting to fundraise/take part in it.

I found the subreddit for thyroid cancers super useful and good for venting and just screaming into the void. Can always raise a PALS complaint with your trust about the whole journey too.

I genuinely wish you peace and comfort.

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EldritchCleavage@reddit

Use what is already in place: contact a relevant charity and see if they can use your case in campaigns or advocate for you. You are a sweetie for thinking of others while all this is happening to you.

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PlateanDotCom@reddit

Sorry to hear about this. If it was my last week I would work for my afterlife, I would make sure that I die a Muslim (just my thought), listen to a verse from quran and it might give you a bit of peace.

Bless you and take care

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bopeepsheep@reddit

As a result of this thread, pretty much, when I was in Waterstone's earlier I picked up Unwell Women by Elinor Cleghorn. Strongly recommend, although it may make many people pretty angry while reading (reading about the history of medicine often makes me angry; misogynism ditto: this is about misogynism in medicine so...).

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dendrocalamidicus@reddit

My mum had a brain tumour that the doctor initially dismissed as menopause.

My grandad had lung cancer dismissed as hayfever. It killed him.

My partner's mum had lung cancer dismissed as hayfever. It killed her.

3 cases in my close family and it's more common to know someone than not with one of these stories. I think that it's likely an issue of resources. In an ideal world, everything would get checked out, but are you going to refer everyone for everything that could be cancer? Ideally yes, but this is the NHS we are talking about. How do we think that would go.

My profound condolences OP.

[-]

Drumbrit@reddit

I'm so sorry.

Cancer fucking sucks.

My mum got pancreatic cancer, but before they knew what it was they thought it was just gallstones blocking her bile duct. They were so sure it wasn't serious.

Women in particular are ignored or pushed to the side with bullshit nonsense excuses. That's what needs working on, I've heard it so many times.

Earlier/regular screenings need to become the norm imo.

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Capt-geraldstclair@reddit

I had a co-worker drive me to my primary care doc's office. I was having issues walking and talking.
Doc diagnosed me with vertigo. Gave me a prescription to pick up on the way home.
I lay in bed for 2 days and finally my son took me to the ER where they diagnosed me with having had a stroke.

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cborne943@reddit

Omfg!! I’m so sorry to read this and what’s happened 🥲

[-]

tiorzol@reddit

Fucking hell mate. I'm so sorry and I'm proud of you that you're thinking of others, even now.

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BigLittleSlof@reddit

He's a better man than me, I'd just be so angry right now in his shoes

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TallFriendlyGinger@reddit

She's most likely a woman, considering she mentioned menopause.

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LittleSadRufus@reddit

OP could also be a whale, which are the only other animals to experience menopause.

Although given their size they've evolved very effective DNA repair pathways so rarely get cancer, so agreed that on balance woman is more likely.

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ilurkonsubs@reddit

Since you have nothing to lose you could try fenbendazole/menbendazole and ivermectin. These anti parasitics block glucose uptake for cancer and parasites and it’s a mechanism of action not targeted in normal cancer therapy. I personally think they should target every mechanism possible

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Nothings going to outsprint this tumour. But I appreciate all the suggestions.

However, I've opted for cheesecake. And mac and cheese.

Cheese is a bit of a theme.

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PrimaryChance0@reddit

Fun runs .. you nailed it!

I feel so sad reading your story. Do you resent the doctor ?

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Honestly? No. I don't think they got up that morning snd thought 'I wonder who I'll kill today.'

It was a mistake.

99 times out of 100, I bet it wouldn't have mattered.

Besides.

If you've got ten mins left. What do you want to be doing?

Laughing and loving or getting angry and sad?

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False_Apricot_9865@reddit

I feel like I want to point out, OP, that even just with the briefest of scrolls down the comments so far, I can see multiple “I’m way overdue for a check of X and I’ve booked it today” responses. Each one of those is a person, and any one of those checks might prove important or life saving. That means you are already achieving your stated hope of helping and potentially saving others.

This is a beautiful mark to leave on the world.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

That's good enough for me x

[-]

bobby_shitshirt@reddit

I have found, in the Canadian healthcare system at least, that self-advocacy often results in conflict with one's GP. And so what? Doctors are not gods, though many might think themselves to be. Question them, do your own research (not AI, or Dr. Google), and advocate for yourselves and others.

The Western approach to medicine seems to assume the issue is minor, and only expand diagnosis when symptoms disprove that. The approach I noticed in China, for example, was that the doctors would eliminate the major possibilities first, then work their way down. Time is the key in the latter approach; because if the medical issue does in fact turn out to be serious, the diagnosis is reached sooner, and that can often be the difference between a treatable and an untreatable prognosis.

This is only my opinion, and I am in no way a medical professional or authority.

I do, however, like to use the simile of a car and an auto mechanic in this instance.
If you smell burning oil or plastic inside the car when you are driving, you should probably ask for a second opinion if the first mechanic you see tells you that the smell comes from low air pressure in your tires.

[-]

Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Very true

Trouble was what they said was probably right for most ppl.

They weren't telling me it was my knee.

All the safety protocols were there. They just didn't follow it.

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Individual-Poem4670@reddit

Saw this online the other day. No idea if it’s worth trying as I’m not a doctor, but it’s worth a shot?

[-]

Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Erm. Yeah for me?
That's s big ole longshot. It'd be the second Easter miracle

[-]

Individual-Poem4670@reddit

[-]

Forthrowssake@reddit

I just want to say how fucking sorry I am that this has happened to you. I would be busy writing letters to the people I love. 😭😭😭

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Already on it x

And sorting a few gifts too

[-]

Impressive_Sock1296@reddit

Fucking hell. Other way round, what can we internet people do to help you? Any wishes we could fulfill?

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I've got all my wishes sorted.

Nothing matters now but spending time with the people I love.

And they're here.

Thank you tho x

[-]

NarwhalEmergency9391@reddit

I'm sorry this is happening to you. It happens a lot to women. Young women and even girls will go in with symptoms and they dismiss you and gaslight you and once you're menopausal age, any symptom you tell them, they'll say it's due to menopause.

[-]

changhyun@reddit

Exactly. There doesn't seem to be any threshold where we're taken seriously.

Under 9? She's just a kid, she's milking it for sympathy.

9 - 17? She's just going through puberty.

17 - 40? It's your period. You should lose weight, by the way.

40 - 65? It's menopause. Lose some weight.

65+? These silly old women, they'll go to the doctor for anything. They're just lonely. Did you manage to lose that weight?

[-]

Allllliiiii@reddit

Please speak to the media. I work in PR and I’m also a woman that has been let down by healthcare professionals, although not to the same degree, and I would be more than happy to give you all my knowledge and support. Please drop me a message if that’s something you’d like to do.

[-]

cozywit@reddit

Well you haven't explained here what symptoms they missed.

So I looked up the symptoms for Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma.

A lump in your neck or enlarged thyroid gland
Difficulty swallowing
Hoarseness or voice changes
Difficulty breathing
Neck pain or discomfort
Swollen lymph nodes
Fatigue
Weight changes
Sensitivity to hot or cold temperatures
Changes in heart rate

In fact this is a surprisingly easy cancer to miss. It grows slowly and doesn't typically have many standout symptoms. The most glaring symptoms have significant overlap with viral and menopause symptoms.

What were your actual symptoms? Because honestly, cancer is hard enough to diagnose, and when the symptoms overlap with other things it's even harder.

[-]

Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I had:

Swollen neck. Hoarseness that came and went. Tiredness.

All totally explainable, I agree .

But! A neck examination would have been a start.

[-]

Katatonic92@reddit

First of all, I'm incredibly sorry.

We experienced similar with my father years ago, he had what he thought was a belly button infection. His GP just kept giving him different antibiotics to try, never stabbed it & the last couple of times my father went to show him the now golf ball sized lump that used to be his bellybutton, the GP didn't even bother looking at it. This went on for over a year.

One day he was too sick to get out of bed, in all my life at that point (I was 18, he was 41) I had never known him to be so unwell he stayed in bed. He had his own business, he used to drag his arse into work regardless of how unwell he was, so him not doing that was the biggest red flag to my mother. She had been telling him to get a second opinion for a while, so instead of calling the usual GP, she intentionally waited for out of hours so a different doctor would see him. That doctor came out, took one look at his bellybutton & called an ambulance. That bellybutton infection was actually a tumour, one that starts internally & gets so big it bursts through the bellybutton, it is a common sign of cancer that most doctors would be aware of.

The first week he was diagnosed with bowel cancer, then it went up to secondary liver, then it was stage four, it is everywhere, he has months to live. He died six weeks after initial diagnosis. And he suffered horribly in those few weeks, things that haunt me to this day & it has been twenty years.

My mother channeled her grief into taking the GP to the GMC to face consequences for his failures. His only consequence was being made to apologise & they had to compel him to do that much. After my father's death, the post mortem showed he was absolutely riddled with cancer, there wasn't a part of his body that wasn't infested. They estimated it was at least ten years growth. It is a terrifying thought that you can walk around with a silent killer inside of you for almost a decade & not feeling symptoms until it is too late. And because all the GP did was rob him of a final year of being able to do whatever he wanted instead of dragging himself into work everyday, the GP got away with any accountability at all.

My advice would be to write a letter to the GMC, put all of your thoughts & feelings into it. But don't submit yourself, allow your loved ones to do that for you afterwards. I wouldn't recommend wasting your energy in your final weeks fighting for justice. The GP already robbed you of your life, please don't let them rob you of your final weeks that can spent achieving more positive experiences for you & your loved ones to hold onto.

The GMC is like an old boys club, they will bend over backwards to protect their own. It has been happening for years & will continue to happen regardless. They will use any technicality to avoid accountability. There is also the fact that medical negligence has a very specific scope you have to reach to fall under. GPs are allowed to make mistakes, they are allowed to miss certain things if they can say it was reasonable to not think it could be a specific thing, etc. To be clear, I am not excusing what has happened to you, you may be able to easily establish it fits the scope for negligence. My worry is the hoops you will need to jump through to establish that & it all takes a long time too. At most you could start the ball rolling but you will need someone who will see it through to the end for you. I share this from experience.

I really recommend you focus on experiences & trying to make whatever positive memories tou can. I know you are limited at this point but don't underestimate how much you can still leave behind while filling your heart for your final journey. Get friends/family in, go through old photos together, it will get you all talking about those moments. Walking down memory lane with loved ones has so much value.

There is a special memory book available to buy, it contains good prompts for questions loved ones can ask & you can share your answers with. The little things we don't always think to ask until it is too late. Fill up a memory book, what did you love, what did you hate, first crush, first kiss, most embarrassing moment, etc.

Watch movies together, listen to songs together.

I will stop rambling now. I am sorry you even have to think about these things but I hope they do bring you some light through the darkness. Have a peaceful journey my lovely. ❤️

[-]

Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Thank you. I'm taking your advice.

Spending time with people I love now.

We've got a plan for after.

I think I warned some ppl.

That's enough for me now.

Last nights post was more an effort to find a positive when sleep eluded me.

I didn't wang to sink into anger.

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Klutzy_Ad_8886@reddit

Op, me as well as all those who have seen this post will absolutely be now aware of the signs, symptoms and make others in our lives aware. You've informed and touched many. x

[-]

Vitaefinis@reddit

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I applaud you for still wanting to help others!
If you can, please appoint someone you trust to act on your behalf and focus on yourself.

Get support via Marie Curie's support line:

Free information and emotional support for people living with a terminal illness and their family, friends and carers. Open 8am to 6pm Monday to Friday, and 10am to 4pm Saturday to Sunday.

----

Contact or ask a trusted person to contact on your behalf to news outlets and cancer charities to share what you experienced:

Try and include:

dates of appointments
symptoms reported
what the GP said
what examination was or was not done
what follow up or safety netting advice was or was not given
when diagnosis finally happened
what outcome you want: explanation, apology, records correction, learning review, practice change, or escalation to patient-safety review.
MacMillan Cancer Support stories@macmillan.org.uk - https://www.macmillan.org.uk/volunteering/share-your-experience/share-your-story-with-the-media
Cancer Research UK - https://www.cancerresearchuk.org/get-involved/volunteer/share-your-cancer-story-become-a-story-volunteer
Sky News news@skynews.com - https://news.sky.com/info/contact-us
ITV News yourstory@itv.com - https://www.itv.com/news/2012-03-04/contact-us
The Independent newsdesk@independent.co.uk - https://www.independent.co.uk/service/contact-us-759589.html
The Guardian (national news desk) national@theguardian.com - https://manage.theguardian.com/help-centre/article/contact-a-journalist-or-editorial-desk
Financial Times (news tips) newstips@ft.com - https://www.ft.com/news-tips/
Get in touch with your MP: https://members.parliament.uk/FindYourMP
Get in touch with the Prime Minister's office: https://contact.no10.gov.uk/

----

Complain to NHS: https://www.england.nhs.uk/contact-us/feedback-and-complaints/complaint
Complain via Care Quality Commission: https://www.cqc.org.uk/contact-us/how-complain/complain-about-gp-dentist-or-eye-care
Give feedback via Healthwatch: https://www.healthwatch.co.uk/share-your-views
Raise a concern via General Medical Council (about the specific doctor(s)):
https://www.gmc-uk.org/concerns
https://www.gmc-uk.org/concerns/supporting-you-with-your-concern/how-to-raise-a-concern-with-us
Complain via Parliamantery and Health Service Ombudsman:
https://www.ombudsman.org.uk/making-complaint/complain-us-getting-started
https://complaintform.ombudsman.org.uk/complaintchecker

----

Accessing your records:

Subject Access Request:
This takes up to 30 days but it can be done on your behalf
https://digital.nhs.uk/about-nhs-digital/corporate-information-and-documents/publication-scheme/how-to-make-a-subject-access-request#how-to-make-a-request-for-someone-else
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/gps/gp-services-for-someone-else-proxy-access/
Getting copies of medical records: https://www.england.nhs.uk/contact-us/common-questions/how-do-i-get-a-copy-of-my-health-medical-records

[-]

TeaPlenty3782@reddit

Make a complaint to PALS (can be done by email or phone).

Contact the local newspaper and tell them your story.

Make videos of your symptoms and how they were ignored.

Other than that, try to enjoy the time you have left. Your family can pick up your cause but spend these last few weeks wisely. So sorry this has happened to you.

[-]

Psamiad@reddit

OP, many sympathies for your situation, so sorry you're in the situation you are in. I'm afraid, though, that your story has revealed in the comments a skewed and hostile general attitude towards doctors (and GPs in particular) that isn't going to help anyone.

There is an assumption that doctors should be able to make a diagnosis, every time, on first visit, for any particular condition. Anything less than this ideal is interpreted as 'negligence' or similar. Some posters even speak of making that GP's life Hell for it.

This isn't how medicine works. Time is a diagnostic aid. Uncertainty is the norm. Very rare diseases are difficult to diagnose. (Yes, bad doctors exist, but they are the exception, not the norm).

Your story is useful. It's a reminder how rare diseases can present seemingly benignly.

There is a danger, however, in 'raising awareness' for things such as this, as it raises expectations that even common symptoms should be investigated a great deal on first visit. The problem with this approach is over-investigation and over-diagnosis, which come with harms. It also stretches an already stretched health system.

There is no health system that perfectly balances the tensions of avoiding over investigation, versus avoiding a diagnostic error rate.

I fully expect lots of downvotes for this. Healthcare workers live in fear a lot of the time because of the negativity and hostility they face daily despite trying their hardest to do good jobs. Stuff like this on social media (the comments, not the OP), only serve to stoke it up.

There isn't enough information here to know if the standard of care you received is lower than it should have been. If you think it was, you need legal advice from someone qualified, not Reddit.

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quat1e@reddit

This is a hard fucking read, I am so sorry for you. I can only imagine how you are feeling now.

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irishshogun@reddit

Media for awareness especially with the NHS strikes on etc

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SarahR_2@reddit

My Mum got told she had indigestion repeatedly by male GP's. It was stage 3 ovarian cancer by the time it was discovered during an exploratory operation that only happened because she'd previously worked with the surgeon.

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snarkmaiden5@reddit

Really sorry to hear this. Similar happened with my Dad. They said he had a chest infection, gave him anti biotics. It was lung cancer. Smoking is a bastard, they think thats what mum has now too.

We were all a bit messed up to complain too hard. We sent a letter to the surgery and the doctor who saw him retired not long after.

Problem is GPs are human, everyone can make mistakes. Just when doctors do it can be big consequences

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39wva@reddit

I am so sorry OP. Life is unfair. I hope you find some peace in these last days with your family. I think you will have already made a difference helping people and making them aware just through this post.

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Exact-Increase267@reddit

Went for a regular eye test through work and got sent straight to A and E that day - was eventually diagnosed with melanoma! Only symptoms were me thinking I needed stronger glasses for reading. Check ups are boring but so important! The optician told me not to let them fob me off, as they tried to say I needed a referral from my GP Sorry they didn’t listen to your concerns

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prisonerofazkabants@reddit

it's beautiful that you're focused on helping others when you've been dealt a shit sandwich but i hope you're doing whatever you can to be selfish

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Vairman@reddit

first of all: fuck cancer.

I got diagnosed with a bone cancer - but only because I broke my arm and it showed up on the x-ray. The cancer was causing my kidneys to fail and I was tired - VERY tired, all the time, but I thought it was due to long Covid. Why would I think "oh no, it's cancer?". I wouldn't, no one would. Cancer can be a sneaky, evil, mutherfucker.

So sorry OP.

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deafened_commuter@reddit

Honestly, from this and the comments. You've done enough <3 It's also technically the doctors and medical communities job to review cases and lessons learned and find wider patterns not the patient. Their job to raise awareness and teach or allocate funding as needed. And while you are suffering from this, it's not your responsibility or your fault.

You have permission and the right to focus on yourself and what you want and what you feel. I heard you

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heroes-never-die99@reddit

GP here. Really sorry to hear that. Sounds awful. I am glad that the hospice is looking after you now and I wish you all the best.

We don’t know the exact details of your case and I am not suggesting that we go through them here.

I think it’s admirable that you want to stop something like this from happening to someone else.

Perhaps you could share these concerns with the practice manager and they might even invite you to have a sit down with one of the GPs to see what went right/not-so-right and what could be done in the future.

All the best.

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smd1815@reddit

"right/not so right"

The downfall of the country summed up in one pathetic phrase. People afraid of properly confronting bad things. Trying to sugar coat everything. Refusing to acknowledge when something is utterly awful. Refusal to acknowledge any accountability.

These people have power.

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Racing_Fox@reddit

This happens up and down the country.

I doubt it’s a practice issue and more of a GPs will do literally anything to fob you off because they think you’re wasting their time issue.

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peppermint_aero@reddit

Yeah, no disrespect to the individual GPs who work hard and do their best but this is absolutely a systemic issue.

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Ok_Broccoli4894@reddit

Completely agree. Half of them don't even care about people, they've gone into it for the money.

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Express-Nerve-8179@reddit

What an asinine thing to say ….

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peppermint_aero@reddit

I didn't say that at all. The systemic issue is the lack of time and training.

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xe3to@reddit

"not-so-right" mate she's dying

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kumran@reddit

"right/not so right" is an INSANE choice of words when a GP ignored a woman's concerns and is now dying.

Maybe you should sit down with all the GPs at your practice and go talk about why women get ignored and minimised together. Sounds like it could be beneficial.

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Far-Presentation6307@reddit

There's not some big cabal of doctors where we all sit down and agree to give women and ethnic minorities substandard care. Oh and poor white males too.

The truth is healthcare is extremely complex, and sometimes as a doctor you can do everything by the books, follow all the guidelines, keep your knowledge up to date and still miss a diagnosis. You see it a lot in the media where someone presents a very one-sided account of their care that makes the doctors sound incompetent or callous, but the doctors / hospital involved can't reply / correct because of patient confidentiality.

I'm not saying that's what's happened here, and I don't think that's a very useful thing to do in a thread about OP coming to terms with their diagnosis, but it's worth keeping in mind when you see healthcare stories like this.

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kumran@reddit

They didn't even examine her. Where's that in your books?

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Far-Presentation6307@reddit

Taken at face value, not great, but that depends what they answered. They might have said they didn't have a neck lump, so doctor didn't examine.

That said, the general public really overestimate how useful clinical examination is. 90% of diagnosis is in the history (asking questions).

Also people remember very different things in hindsight, and have very different recollections of how a medical consultation went. (That's not just me trying to gaslight, it's a recognised thing). I had a patient recently who I diagnosed with a cancer in the lower outer part of their left breast. They told me hand on heart that they had been to our clinic 6 months ago with the same lump and we had missed it. I looked through all the records, the last time they turned up was for a completely different area, and all the imaging was targeted at a different area (upper inner quadrant).

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Airurando-jin@reddit

I think you’re making a presumption her, including as to to the genders of the Gp’s. I can see l what the Gp means By right and not so right.

There are simply some things that mimic other conditions.
There are red flags to look out for and 2 week wait (2ww) referral criteria for suspected cancers. That referral criteria may need prior workup otherwise it may get bounced back to the GP. That can change area to area depending on diagnostic capabilities commissioned in different regions.
The GP may have actually done everything right here, and there may have been no symptoms that would have indicated a suspected cancer at the time. Even a neck lump can get bounced back. If it doesn’t fit the 2ww criteria they could be stuck whilst being worked up to rule out other issues.

I would recommend you try looking for your ENT and thyroid suspected cancer form /2ww referral for your local hospital. They’re often public. You’ll get an idea of what’s required as part of that.

Though umbridge is taken with their wording, from an educational point of view it’s establishing what about the handling of the symptoms went right, and what could be learned from this incident.

Practices do have significant event meetings, as well as clinical meetings which can be learning tools.

Source: Been involved with 2ww system since inception and subsequently spent several years working on Oncology.

The same thing can happen in secondary care. There are people who will have absolutely no symptoms at all and can have an accidental finding on clinical imaging or surgery for something unrelated.

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kumran@reddit

Not making any assumptions. Women being ignored isn't exclusively by male GPs.

Someone is dying because a GP didn't even examine them because it wasn't a big deal. (Did you miss that part?) And a GP in the comments couldn't even bring themselves to say something went "wrong."

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Airurando-jin@reddit

I didn’t miss any part. You’re making presumptions still.

Do you know the genders of everyone involved ? Ii

The context you’re talking about is more aligned with how endometriosis is dealt with and undertreated / referred

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kumran@reddit

I assume the GP didn't think a man had menopause

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Airurando-jin@reddit

Unless transgender

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Airurando-jin@reddit

Also.. you’re still making assumption based upon the choice of words by OP.

We don’t know the exact diagnostics or processes that happened, and we don’t know why OP said or how they presented it to the OP.

Anaplastic thyroid carcinoma is rare, fast and aggressive

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APiousCultist@reddit

While I don't wish to imply that OP is knowingly misrepresenting things here, or that women being minimised isn't a hugely impactful issue, we also don't know the totality of the situation. If all signs at the time truly did point towards a routine infection then that may be why. Sometimes things don't give the expected warning signs until it is too late. People don't necessarily need to fuck up to get things very wrong. Though with that devils advocacy out of the way, there's absolutely too many cases of really obvious warning signs not leading to tests or referrals. Had a friends mum pass away younger than I am now because of an brain tumor despite her repeatedly going to her GP over bad headaches. A mother of young kids having frequent headaches probably isn't normally a cause for concern, but when it is chronic and debilitating to the point of repeated GP visits and a patient attempting to escale it, that should lead to tests instead of my friend returning from a holiday not understanding why their mum wasn't too. I think it's very possible the 'right' here was the probable diagnosis of what was likely to be the cause of her symptoms when she visited, and the 'wrong' was ignoring the totality of the symptoms and her own concerns and experience. That if it's chronic and affecting someone's life then it needs greater investigation. There's only so much self-advocacy we can expect people to do. GPs need to be holistic over issues instead of just dismissing a sore throat because they didn't take in how long it had been going on for into consideration or how a patient describes what they're experiencing.

Also I'm sure the person you're responding to doesn't want to throw anyone in their profession under the bus without the full story or create a false expectation of how an inquest (if that's the right term) would go.

Either way, this situation makes me feel sick. It's one thing to have something untreatable or that went under the radar and another to have something that should have been caught and treated. No one should have to die because they didn't speak loudly enough or chase after adequate healthcare hard enough.

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an7667@reddit

Yeah that’s such a batshit thing to say in this situation.

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strawbebbymilkshake@reddit

right/not-so-right.

The word you’re looking for is wrong. Things went wrong, and OP was wrongly dismissed as menopausal because GPs, probably like you, are quick to fob many of us off.

Your inability to even admit the GP got things wrong here is really disappointing.

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heroes-never-die99@reddit

Truth of the matter is, noone here, including yourself and myself have any of the clinical details of this case.

Facts are important and patient concerns need to be addressed no matter what. That’s what I encouraged OP to do directly in line with her queries.

But sure, all doctors are immediately bad and all that jazz.

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After-Competition-59@reddit

People are angry at the system and take it out on GPs working hard at the coal face. It’s almost cliche at this point.

All these people proclaiming that GPs are useless and dismissive should spend just one day with one to see what it’s really like. It’s the hardest job in medicine. 99% of the time they have to reassure people whilst not missing the 1% that have something serious. All in 10 minutes and without access to timely investigations.

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Active_Hovercraft_86@reddit

In other words, GP's being overworked and under pressure is an example of something that has gone wrong? Or is this better weaseled as "not-so-right".

You have tried to steer this thread into GP's vs patients, whereas in reality everyone wants the same outcome. Things can only improve when good practice is championed and failures are acknowledged and rectified.

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After-Competition-59@reddit

This whole thread is GP vs patients, that was my point. Not one comment blames the politicians and policy makers that have driven us to this place and instead the blame is placed on those trying to provide care in a broken system.

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Active_Hovercraft_86@reddit

There is a bit of GPs vs patients here I'll give you that.

But the responses have been primarily centred around this particular GP not willing to describe anything as possibly being wrong. When challenged on this they have just doubled down.

It is possible to acknowledge failures/wrongness without asserting blame or attacking anyone.

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Active_Hovercraft_86@reddit

Indeed, no-one knows the details of the case. So how can you therefore disregard the possibility that something may have gone wrong? Only varying degrees of right in your words.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

What details do we need to know that things went WRONG, other than the fact that OP went to the doctor for symptoms and they were not spotted and now OP is dying? Pretty unambiguous that things went wrong no matter the reason. Really fucked up choice of wording from you there

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strawbebbymilkshake@reddit

And yet you’re confident enough to assert that they didn’t do anything wrong. Just “not-so-right”.

Reduce the discussion down to “I’m a victim” and put words in my mouth, sure.

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unseemly_turbidity@reddit

A wild guess here but I don't think OP wants to give their GP a pat on the back for all the things they did right, ffs.

That GP is going to learn much if they can't even acknowledge that things went catastrophically wrong!

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r8L9h6WG@reddit

Absurdly tone-deaf to suggest someone counting their remaining life left in days should "have a sit down with one of the GPs to see what went right/not-so-right".

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Airurando-jin@reddit

The OP stated about wanting to help someone else be okay.

You’re responding to the Gp post emotionally rather than objectively.

OP wants to make this a learning experience for others.

Gp on comment has suggested discussing with practice what went right, which could be the diagnostics put in place. Did the GP do everything right and were let down by the wider system, or are they constrained by referral guidelines which would knock the patient back to general practice again without being done?

What went wrong? The opportunity to learn, was it a knowledge issue, presenting symptoms, lack of presenting symptoms, diagnostic waits, mandated work up requirements, local hospital pushback etc etc.

This effectively what a coroner may do when it’s too late and make suggestions, the GP in the comments here is suggesting something that the OP may be able to do, that may cause a ripple of change, both in hoe similar symptoms are handled, how clinicians approach it, and may have positive outcomes for future patients.

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heroes-never-die99@reddit

Sure, that would be 100% true if you ignored the second half of her message.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

That was in the second half of your message what you talking about? It was one of the last things you said (and it was worded so foully)

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madeupname56@reddit

Ignore these bots 95% of us appreciate the work you are doing and recognise these situations impact your profession as well. Thank you.

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heroes-never-die99@reddit

Thank you 😊

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ghosthud1@reddit

From my personal experience the issue seems to be with the practice head. Or the head GP, we have a bad egg at our local practice.

He’s still top dog, but pushed me to seek therapy for low mood and depression.

Ignoring the serious symptoms which turned out to be a brain stem glioma 🤷‍♂️.

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Active_Hovercraft_86@reddit

"not-so-right" - do you actually just mean "wrong"? Given the situation at hand, perhaps reflect on the use of such meek language.

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toblivion1@reddit

"not-so-right"??!!?! Fucking bloody hell. How out of touch can you be.

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MisterMicronaut@reddit

Wow. That last paragraph.

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crooktimber@reddit

So sorry to read this. My mum was fobbed off by her GP and eventually went from diagnosed to dead within two months. It sounds as if your timeline is even more contracted. It's sobering how close we all are to the veil of death – your post demonstrates real strength, and if you've nudged even one person to get those persistent symptoms checked again, you've saved a life and done a wonderful thing.

All the best for your exit - they seem to have the good stuff in hospices, may you sail off in peace knowing you've done good here.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

I hope so.

Im sorry about your mum.

Let's hope this chat helps someone get it right.

And they do have all the good stuff in the hospice. All the good drugs, at least ;)

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YouCantArgueWithThis@reddit

Fuck, this is awful. You have a whole lot of strength that you are able and willing to think about others. ❤️‍🩹

I suggest recording a timeline of your symptoms, the more details possible, and pushing NHS to turn it into a leaflet that's available both online and printed form, distributed to all GPs practice.

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NasCreatThoughts786@reddit

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It’s incredibly unfair.

For helping others, you could consider sharing your experience more widely (with patient safety groups or advocacy orgs), and also filing a formal complaint so it’s on record and can lead to learning and change. Awareness especially patient education about warning signs and asking for second opinions, can make a real difference too.

Your voice could genuinely help someone else get diagnosed earlier.

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Dazzaster84@reddit

In this day and age, just tell your story in a video. I'm sure someone would edit it for you later, and spread itnfor you that way?

Remember everything, say all of it. Name names if you feel like exposing incompetence, fuck it, it's your swansong.

Rest easy, friend.

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QuantitySharp2662@reddit

My brother had a sore shoulder that progressed to a hoarse voice which turned out to be lung cancer.

Doctors gave him an inhaler at some point before he got tests and they found the cancer.

He survived about a year after he was diagnosed.

It's blurry because it's still a mess that I struggle to comprehend. I mean he's been there my whole life. And then I watched him die.

I just treat everyday like it's my last and don't plan for the future. That's two brothers I lost in 37 years. All that's left is for my dogs and parents to die and I'll need to find something for myself.

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snarkycrumpet@reddit

I'm sorry. I lost my only sibling, it's devastating isn't it

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No_Wrongdoer_5155@reddit

That's really fucked up, I'm so sorry. I wholeheartedly agree with all that U/Upbeat-Name-6087 said, so I won't add on that.

These silent conditions are the worst for us normal people because who would have thought those mild symptons were the sign of something terrible? Otherwise you could at least have been able to advocate for yourself.

My sister is now battling esophageal cancer (methastasized to her spine). First symptoms were mild difficulty swallowing, and vomiting small amounts of white foam. Which happening around Christmas 2024 she thought something she ate had disagreed with her. Cue to her three months later having to go get a scan privately because of the excruciating pain in her spine, after being dismissed three times from the ER (Barcelona). With the private imaging showing the methastasis tumor invading her spine, and the urgent referral from the imaging center doctor, she was immediately admitted to hospital.

Your GP was lousy because it was his fucking job to at least examine you and should have known better than to dismiss you so quickly. This habit of blaming menopause for just about everything and anything is for sure responsible for many otherwise preventable deaths or chronical conditions. I'd sue in your place, the money will help those who are left behind.

To a lesser degree, it happens to men too, it happened to my dad. He suffered from prostate problems. His abdominal pain was dismissed by his GP. Pancreatic cancer, dead in three months.

Sorry if I rambled, I thought it was relevant.

I hope you live the rest of your days as pain free as possible and enjoying your loved ones. Sending you all the love.

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zeroparity@reddit

Hi. It’s so sad to see that this is still happening. My mother died of ovarian cancer 30 years ago. Her GP diagnosed her with “wind”.

As others have said focus 100% on yourself and your loved ones.

If you’re in pain, don’t be a hero, take the strongest meds available.

Name and shame the GP and the Practice. What are they gonna do? Sue you?

Best wishes to you and your family.

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snarkycrumpet@reddit

my mum's best friend died of irritable bowel which actually was ovarian cancer. her doctor didn't give a shit

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67yoloswag@reddit

bullshit

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snarkycrumpet@reddit

I'm so sorry. Bad GPs did the same to my sibling who died from leukemia last year. I was going to get a banner and hold it outside the GP surgery that said "ask me how they killed my sister". I still might.

I would write detailed notes, send them to your MP health minister, local paper, make a video people can share, put the account name here and we will share. people need to know that if you're a woman from 35-55 you will likely die because the GPs will ignore you and tell you to lose weight, exercise more or take vitamins instead of diagnosing your cancer.

I'm so sorry.

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Cearball@reddit

Something similar happened with my mom.

I'm sorry.

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Ok-Cartographer1297@reddit

This is truly heartbreaking. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this.

Doing short videos and posting them on social media for awareness.

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Curious_Peter@reddit

Shit, what an aweful situation to be in. so very very sorry to hear about it.

could you sue the doc involved, then either donate the money to a charity, or use it to enjoy your time left ?

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TheMagnificentSmaug@reddit

I am very sorry to hear that. I really hope a miracle happens and you make it.

As others have said, videos documenting your journey sounds very meaningful for others that may have the same development.

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Spoondoggydogg@reddit

I'm so sorry to read what you're going through, you will be in my thoughts and prayers and thank you for thinking of others during this time. It shows how strong your character is.

Make videos, write, sing, draw whatever just get the symptoms and your story out there.

It might sound stupid but also contact your local MP, Councillors, hell even influencers as they will no doubt have contacts to help you get your story in the Press.

If you'd like, you can inbox me and I can try to get a message quickly into your MPs inbox, I used to work in Westminster and have contacts there still. They're on Easter break at the minute, and if they're worth their salt, they should come and meet you to take it into parliament so that the health service has the correct information so this can't happen again.

Whilst it's horrible, I think it would be most impactful to tell your story yourself, on your own terms.

At the same time, try and find as much joy as you can, laugh at the things you shouldn't, tell those you love that you do. You are loved, and this has truly broken my heart today.

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Fancy_Surprise_8599@reddit

Tell people about Jess’s Rule. If you present with the same or worsening symptoms three times your GP must refer you to a relevant consultant.

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Fancy_Surprise_8599@reddit

https://www.england.nhs.uk/long-read/jesss-rule-three-strikes-and-we-rethink/

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EvilInCider@reddit

Fellow Thyroid Cancer person here.

I’m so sorry. Fuck. I’m so angry for you.

I had (well I have) Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma too. As you no doubt know now, it’s one of the cancers they can’t fully ever treat. But they can relatively easily mange it, if they act.

Mine metastasised to my lymph nodes. My only symptom was a bit of a lump around where my voice box is. - if I was a bloke it would basically just look like a bit of an Adam’s Apple. I only noticed it because a uniform I was having to wear for work was a little tight around my neck.

My GP had seen it in person once before, so instantly knew what she was looking at. I was in my 20s. She sent me to hospital for a scan within a few days (this was pre-Covid).

During the scan, I was actually told by the technician that it wasn’t anything to worry about, they see similar things all the time.

After reviewing the scan, the hospital consultant told me that I was too young to get any sort of thyroid cancer, and it was just a benign neck lump. Very common. He even told me that if I had it removed, the scar would be more noticeable than the lump, so don’t bother.

My GP immediately sent me for a second opinion… and she saved my life. She pushed to keep things rolling.

I was sent for a biopsy. And further scans. Then they finally realised even before the biopsy result came back something was seriously wrong. They opted to take out part of my thyroid to explore it. They opened my neck and found the tumour. Full blown cancer. I had two surgeries to get rid of the main tumour, my entire thyroid, and the lymph nodes in my neck where it had begun to spread up.

I then had two week long sessions of radioactive iodine ablation therapy (they lock you in a lead-lined room and you swallow the radiation in a pill), which is meant to try to blast as much of the remaining cancer as possible. But you always get left with little cells that they can’t kill off… which are always trying to grow back.

I now take medication daily to stay alive, and I’m meant to get the levels of cancer checked (they can see it in my blood). Of course… I have to manage this myself.

I mean… where to even start with this. Papillary Thyroid cancer is a slow-growing cancer as far as I am aware, or at least it was in my case. I’d have had it for years. And you’re right. It’s highly treatable (not curable, but treatable. And aspects of my life are hard now…. But I am alive). But the core point is it is only treatable If they bother to catch it.

I’ll never forget the original consultant telling me that I shouldn’t get the lump on my neck cut out. Treating me like a silly little girl who was only interested in my looks.

Why do they do this? Why did it take someone who had seen it before to push back against the hospital consultant? If you were not around menopause or perimenopause age… would you have been investigated properly?

Is there perhaps a way you can do a video about your experience and symptoms?

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Hazz3r@reddit

I'm so sorry.

My Mum was put in the exact same position. Appointment after appointment with her NHS GP. It got to the point that the Doctor accused her of making up her symptoms to her face. She eventually paid for a private MRI which immediately showed Stage 4 Lung Cancer.

I tried to reach out to various solicitors to see if anyone would take the case of medical negligence, but no one would take it, especially as my Mum wasn't around anymore.

I think u/Upbeat-Name-6087 has the right idea. Your best chance is to make a video, something that can be shared with solicitors, press, etc.

But your main focus should be on spending quality time with your loved ones. Fuck the world. Be selfish.

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MidnightSuspicious71@reddit

Pretty much the same with my mum. The GP spent six months telling her she had recurrent chest infections. Stage four lung cancer when she finally had a scan. She was told three months without treatment or six months with treatment. She opted for chemo/radiation and we lost her pretty much six months to the day. My dad is currently having immunotherapy for a very rare and agreed type of melanoma that his GP kept telling him was an infected cut, and that was stage three and inoperable when he was eventually diagnosed. The same GP surgery treated both of them. If wasn't for the District Nurse who did his dressings insisting on a referall to dermatology, we'd have lost dad by now. I'm livid, but dad refuses to let me complain to the practice manager!

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HeidiGluck@reddit

Wow, my sister and I had papillary thyroid cancer. Her's is tall cell variant. I am so sorry this happened to you!

If it makes you feel better, I had to argue with the doctor to get an ultrasound. I finally won the argument and said I have a goiter which has not been scanned for years (which was true), he then relented. He was very adamant that there was no reason for the scan though. He was very dismissive.

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Al_Snows_Head@reddit

My father had a similar situation, was back and forth to the doctors for the best part of a year. They kept telling him it was anxiety related, and eventually begrudgingly sent him for an endoscopy, where they discovered a tumour. We were fortunate to get a few years with him before he passed.

I admire your desire to try and improve the situation, and I think a social media style route would be the best. The legal route is long, and tiresome, and honestly you do not need any added stress and frustration in your situation.

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LocalMendicant@reddit

I am so sorry for this. Same thing happened to my youngest brother - doctor kept treating him for psoriasis and eczema - then went to see a different doctor and the guy pretty much knew straight away. It wasn't untreatable but 2 bone marrow transplants - one autologous and one from another brother didn't work. Similarly with a mate who died of bowel cancer. Late 30s so didn't fit the demographic - he was a competitive cyclist so already lean but he'd lost a stone and a half before they suspected cancer by which time...

I think as individuals the best thing we can do is be pushy - if we feel the doctor is wrong insist on a second opinion. The nhs in the UK is hard pressed and that must lead to unnecessary deaths but I'd rather be argumentative than be one them. As I wrote this I know that while I'd be pushy for my family I'd probably not when it came to myself - we are brought up to be polite etc so it's important we are pushy on behalf of loved ones.

All the best and thank you for bring concerned about others at this time.

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Global_Tea@reddit

Women get the short end in medicine always. it’s always hysteria, or relation to your cycle (or lack of). I’m so sorry for your situation. it’s happened to women in my circle with ovarian cancer, ovarian cysts and skin cancers.

keep the rest of your life for you. documenting your symptoms if you really wanted to, would be a way to support others but don’t feel you have to spend your time on that.

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Consistent-Border512@reddit

Billions have gone there where you are heading to, and the rest will join you soon.

Stay strong and brave till the last breath.

I would suggest starting a YouTube channel and share your journey, what got you here and what could have been done to prevent.

Stay strong.

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Zerg_Hydralisk_@reddit

It's a really bummer of a genre, but start your Youtube channel diary now..

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EatingCoooolo@reddit

Watch a show called dying for sex.

Make a video you can leave behind of your story and how they messed up and what everyone should do going to the GP going forward.

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DullInflation6@reddit

Sorry to hear this and glad to see you have some positivity in light of it all.

My mum's cancer was missed by the local GP, she had a lump under her arm, he said it was nothing, my mum thought it was but went along with it, this was in 1990 mind you so no internet etc to get a second opinion. Long story short, what should've been an early detection turned into a 10-year on again, off again ordeal with a mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy, wearing a wig, and being told it had gone into remission twice, before my mum died in 2001.

I was a kid and didn't know about the missed diagnosis until a few long chats with my dad a few years back.

Ultimately, doctors can make mistakes but I think if anyone has a gut feeling that their doctor is wrong, do whatever you need to see someone else, get a second opinion wherever you can to get that referral to the next stage, or absolute clarity about your situation. Trust yourself.

In terms of your gracious offer to help others, all I can think of is to document as much of your story as you can, likely easiest through something like TikTok as you can just do bite size videos without any editing.

Wishing you all the best in every way 🤝 ❤️

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Freebornaiden@reddit

Swollen neck and croaky voice?

Yeah this happened to my Mother in 2024. Binned off multiple times by the GP. One day my Auntie took her to A & E in Leeds (a different city...) and she was admitted that day. Died 4 months later.

So sorry. The NHS is shit.

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Zs93@reddit

What a kind person you are to want to spend some of this time helping others. It tells me so much about you.

I’m so sorry and I hope you spend your time doing what makes you happy. Take care friend.

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Kaurblimey@reddit

I hope your last weeks are peaceful

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lavender_cookie_@reddit

I'm so sorry 🫂 same thing happened to my mum. She was sick a lot for a year. They kept telling her she just had a cold or flu or whatever. By the time we insisted she went to the hospital, it was so aggressive that they don't even know where it originated. Within 3 months she was gone, in her late 40s. I don't trust doctors since. 🤦‍♀️

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Formatted_Gnu@reddit

Jesus fuck. Godspeed OP ❤️

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toastwalrus@reddit

Take out some massive credit cards by the way. Have fun. They can't target your family, legally, but will try, though. Unless you're married, I think.

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MeltingChocolateAhh@reddit

That's really sad. Don't worry about everyone else and spreading awareness, you've done your part with this Reddit post and you could do a small video for people to remember you by just chatting about symptoms, and your story.

Let your family handle the awareness part.

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ShinHayato@reddit

You really should be able to sue doctors for that type of shit.

Sorry that’s happened to you

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thelastwilson@reddit

How have the fucking fun runs not fixed everything yet???

I'm currently sitting in my dad's living room trying to work while we wait for the palliative care nurse to arrive. 2 years ago he was diagnosed with bowl cancer, we had the all clear 18 months ago and now it's spread all through his organs and he barely gets out of bed anymore. I feel so helpless.

So thank you so much for your comment about fun runs, it made me laugh and feel a little better.

Reminded me of talking to my dad after seeing the consultant and telling him it's okay if he isn't okay and he's allowed to be upset and all he had to say was a flippant "I could but it's not going to help me either" it was the last time I laughed with him.

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Coconutpieplates@reddit

Complaints to anyone that'll listen, PALS, gp practise manager, ICB and so on. Maybe even contact shows like This Morning and Loose Women. I'd be very interested to hear the full story with symptoms if you could share so we know what to look out for if we get dismissed in the same way. I'm so sorry to hear your prognosis, I hope you have good support and love around you 💜

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vemailangah@reddit

Jfc. I'm so sorry for the way your were treated by your doctor. It's inexcusable but it's so so common.

My close friend has recently got surgery for this. She is a very strong self-advocate so she manages to get diagnosis but her example makes me fear for all the people who have shit doctors. When I had colon cancer symptoms my GP said she won't do anything unless I provide a letter proving colon cancer is genetic in my family (my dad has it but it's not enough). So I now am convinced GPs main job is to turn people away from screening for anything. We have one of the worst cancer prevention stats in the world for a reason..

If I were you, I would be selfish. Do everything. And leave your thoughts with as because you will be in ours forever.

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livvibeth@reddit

Reading this reminded me of Jess's Rule, 3 strikes and rethink. https://www.england.nhs.uk/long-read/jesss-rule-three-strikes-and-we-rethink/

All else I can say is I'm so sorry and I hope you can enjoy the time you have as much as possible

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Boboshady@reddit

Sorry to hear this. I'm also suffering from something that was completely missed by my doctors, life-changing but not ending. Commenting only to rub that in, hahaha.

No, seriously. Commenting because I Iook back, there was definitely a recognisable pattern to what that doctor did which others since have not - every time I reported my symptoms, they didn't really listen to what I was saying, they just heard it and immediately reached a conclusion. Specifically, I was reporting I was getting out of breath very quickly, but not 'I am unfit' (which I was, and still am) kind of out of breath, something very different - recovery was very quick, and the level of exhertion wasn't much.

"too fat". Occasionally, a blood oxygen sensor on my finger to show me I was getting enough oxygen.

I let it go. I wasn't happy. I reported these symptoms on several visits over several months, nothing ever changed. "Lose some weight, fatty" was basically the message. Thing is, I was trying...but I was getting so out of breath that I could barely walk any distance without stopping, so I was actually putting ON weight due to dramatically decreasing activity.

Looking back, I should have acted on that. I wasn't happy with this diagnosis, I was obviously being dismissed, and something wasn't right...but I let myself accept that it was just because I was overweight.

Eventually it got so bad that I took myself to A&E and it turns out I was nearly dead - blood pressure over 200, infection and fluid on the lungs, heart failure due to persistent lung problems - and whilst that eventually triggered some proper analysis and treatment, I'm now stuck with a bunch of damage and a fistful of meds every day for the rest of my life.

This isn't about me though, it's about that pattern. Not being happy. Obviously being dismissed.

Basically, I wonder if this is the pattern - when you report something and the answer comes back immediately, and obviously dismissively. There was no "let me think about that" when I reported my symptoms, just an immediate 'diagnosis' which didn't give me any remedy. I was being told to shut up, basically.

If so, that's what we need to focus on. I hope so, because it's a simple message - push back until you're satisfied that your questions and problems have been answered. Trust your medical professionals, but only if they're giving you answers.

When I compare that doctor to any other I've had since, it's night and day. They listen to me. I've actually seen them think about it and change their thoughts on potential diagnosis based on what I'm telling them. It's worlds apart, and how it should be.

So, if you're reporting symptoms, make sure your doctor is actually listening, AND that they're thinking about it. And keep pushing back until you're happy, even if that means the awkward conversation about a second opinion. I punish myself for not listening to my instincts sooner. Maybe it can help others to feel more confident about their own worries.

Oh, and again I'm very sorry about your situation, and hope that my joke at the beginning landed in the way it was supposed to!

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Fit_Adhesiveness7307@reddit

Trust me when I say that is a REALLY fucked up “joke” that’s not remotely funny to anyone but you. And I normally love dark humour but this isn’t that: your words just come across as unpleasant. What do you expect OP to do, laugh “oh yeah, I’m gonna die soon hahaha”? Maybe you really didn’t mean to be hurtful or horrible - I can see the rest of your post is okay - but then you need to work on your social awareness if you think saying something like that is a joke.

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Boboshady@reddit

Can't land em all, I suppose. Hope I've not ruined your day.

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Figure8712@reddit

"Sucks to be you, I'm going to live and you're not, haha" is never, has never, will never actually be a joke. A vital ingredient of dark humour is humour.

Get your brain checked. You might have a mental problem.

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Boboshady@reddit

It's OK.

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Jeremys_Iron_@reddit

This reads as if it was written by AI..

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Boboshady@reddit

I was wondering if anyone would comment on that. I even felt it myself as I was re-reading bits of it - it's the short sentences, I think. Not my usual writing style, either.

But no, all written by me, no Ai in sight.

Maybe Ai would have pointed out that some people get offended on behalf of other people :)

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Mobile-Gene1785@reddit

Let people know what symptoms you noticed, early and what they developed into/if they got worse/stayed the same etc.

I would always ask for a 2nd opinion as well. If something is really concerning you and you know it’s something that needs dealing with (like gut feeling telling you that you’re not overreacting), I’d even go as far as asking for a 3rd opinion. I found that going to the same person each time gets you no where. I had to go twice about a mole that was potentially cancerous and I saw someone different both times. Second time I got sent to have it removed and tested.

Only other thing that can be done is to bring up Jess’s Rule during a 3rd/4th appointment. This requires GPs to rethink your symptoms and to basically actually look into what’s going on. It takes 3 appointments and for symptoms to stay the same or get worse. Not actually sure how well know Jess’s Rule is but it’s so important! Always pester your doctors about health concerns!

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MrCowabs@reddit

I’m a petty bastard, so I’d spend my remaining time making every open minute of my GPs day as awkward, miserable and damaging towards them as I possibly could. Then I’d haunt the fuck out of them from beyond the grave - that’s just me though.

What a colossal fuck up. I’m so sorry they’ve done this to you!

Be selfish! Do what makes YOU happy! Even the silliest little things that’d make you smile where you’ve always thought “nah, that’s just daft” beforehand.

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apple_kicks@reddit

I would super glue overnight all over building my story as a warning to patients

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Kudosnotkang@reddit

I’ve a couple of family members who had it missed when they were pushing for it . My friend almost did but he was so sure something wasn’t right he made up symptoms bc and forced them in writing and eventually got a scan which revealed it was cancer .

My gp is actively hiding from patients , the systems bollocksed .

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nothin-but-the-rain@reddit

25 years in healthcare. I hate stories like this. I’m so sorry.

I’ve always been curious when I come across patients with odd or unexplainable symptoms, and too many get written off far too easily. Please know that some of us are still here advocating for cases like yours, badgering clinicians for referrals and pushing for the diagnostics GPs have been too inexperienced, too rushed, or too disinterested to bother with.

Disillusioned as fuck with the whole industry, and desperate to get out, but rest assured I’ll be a thorn in their sides about diagnostics as long as I can and there are a lot of others like me.

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apple_kicks@reddit

I known people with cancer who found poetry or art helped process it all. You could do this and sell it to charity. Or something to leave friends and family.

You could start charity thats like remembrance board for people like you who were diagnosed too late. Stories and legacies. Highlighting issue of medical gatekeeping and costs of lives

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Trash_Panda_Leaves@reddit

Both, if you feel strong enough. "I only have a week to live because the GP was sexist" is a good line.

Its up to you, advocacy shouldn't be expected from the sick. You're dealing with enough.

Also, F*ck that GP. They killed you with medical negligence.

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Practical-March-6989@reddit

Is there not a second opinion law now in the uk? Perhaps push that more for other people, that you can demand a second opinion. Sorry for your shit position.

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apple_kicks@reddit

Jesse rule

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ObviouslyNerd@reddit

Luigi would made national headlines.

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foolsgold1@reddit

My father knew something was wrong, kept going to the GP. They fingered his bum 3 times and said it was all normal.

Finally managed to get them to refer him for a proper diagnosis, and they found it was late stage 4 prostate cancer and they lectured HIM about not getting a diagnosis sooner and it was clear.

Absolute bollocks.

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Shifftea@reddit

Fuckin go balls out and enjoy yourself as much as you can! Be selfish about it

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Adventurous_Hand3705@reddit

Sent you DM - Re Legal Complaints

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DXBflyer@reddit

You are so incredibly brave. Thinking of others at a time like this is an amazing character trait, I'm so sorry is has happened to you.

Please share the hospice, I will donate.

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throwaway8373469238@reddit

I’m so sorry this is so unfair. I truly wish you all the best and hope you can enjoy the rest of your time my friend.

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throwaway8373469238@reddit

I’m so sorry this is so unfair. I truly wish you all the best and hope you can enjoy the rest of your time my friend.

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arabidopsis@reddit

Cancers aren't easy to diagnose, and most of them by the time they dispaly physical signs its often too late.

However, diagnostics are improving at a huge rate, and more biomarkers are coming availible.

The main issue is that to detecet a lot of this you need to take blood, and not every marker will be tested as that is absolutely expensive and it's also difficult to test for every marker as a lot of cancers can just not express that biomarker or express a mutant version the assasy can't pick up.

However, what you can do -

Get young men to sign up to being a stem cell donor, this helps with progressing therapies in leukeamia as well as other therapies
Shout and advertise to go get your check up as a guy when you're 40, and that a finger up the bum is better than dying from a cancer you could have avoided because you thought it was "gay"
Always go for a second opinion
Look and and see if there are any clinical trials wanting people with your condition
Report the GP to the GMC

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Illustrious-Eye1673@reddit

I am so sorry to hear this, but am heartened you want to help others. If you have enough confidence, and strength, perhaps you could contact your local BBC regional TV news team. They might well come to your hospice to do an awareness piece on your cancer and your journey.

Filming can be in an area that will not disturb other patients. I often see serious illness stories presented on our local to get a message out about and raise awareness. This includes missed or mis-diagnosis situations. I have also seen local pieces end up on the national news as well.

If you are up to this and can get help to arrange it from the hospice team and your family/friends, your story might reach people who need to be aware when they see your case.

Sending you massive love and hugs... and peace. ❤️🙏💔😥

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gwvr47@reddit

As others have noted, video and probably a letter to your family explaining your story and what you want to happen. You haven't the time for a fight sadly.

If you're up to it, a photo on Reddit with a just giving page for the hospice might spread some awareness? At the very least it's low effort for potentially high yield.

This is extremely sad and unfair. Best of luck with your remaining time.

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TheHootOwlofDeath@reddit

OP I am so sorry that you're experiencing this. I had a family member who had a similar experience and that it's still happening absolutely boils my blood.

I would complain to your local integrated care board (ICB) about the GP practice and name the GP(s) who continually fobbed you off until it was too late. I would also send a copy of your complaint to the GP practice manager.

I would also be very tempted to go to your local media if you feel able to.

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sygrider@reddit

I despise GPs. Getting away with killing people because they can't be arsed to do their jobs.

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TheHootOwlofDeath@reddit

I think being a GP is a hard job but there definitely seems to be a lack of accountability which extends throughout the NHS.

While there are some excellent medical professionals, there are also some awful ones. My relative had some very, very worrying symptoms but were continually told by their GP that it was viral (it wasn't, it was cancer), A&E were no better until they were actually diagnosed with cancer and then suddenly they were slightly more bothered. Ultimately, the NHS bury their mistakes sadly.

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cwtchyfemme@reddit

There’s some good thyca pages on Instagram that you could make posts or videos for. Also groups on here and a uk thyca facebook group you could add your posts to.

Thyroid cancer wasn’t even on my doctors radar when I was diagnosed. My symptoms weren’t directly related to it and it was a fluke that it was found.

There’s so much about it being an easy cancer, and very little about the realities of it.

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Narrow_Turnip_7129@reddit

Document it and put it out there

Stories are powerful and they matter. Even if they reach just only 1 person, it's one more than if you dont.

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Aggravating_Speed665@reddit

Start by hounding the doctor(s) that casually missed it so they take people's problems seriously and potentially not misdiagnose again.

Hope you've been making them aware of their painful mistakes.

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Loud_Fisherman_5878@reddit

We don’t know if the doctor ‘casually’ missed anything. It isn’t the doctor’s fault that the NHS cannot afford to do further tests on every single person with a 1% chance of a serious illness and that they have to go on a basis of probability. It is a flawed system and it is horrible that OP is the one to pay the price but it is not the doctor’s fault and I am sure they feel awful about it already.

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Fit_Adhesiveness7307@reddit

As far as I know, if a person has any symptoms of potential cancer, the GP IS supposed to refer them to hospital where they will be tested within 2 weeks.

I don’t know enough detail about OP’s case, but in general they’re not supposed to just be like “oh you’re going through menopause so that potential cancer symptom doesn’t need to be checked” (replace with “have anxiety/are overweight” or whatever other reason GPs use to fob people off).

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IAmLaureline@reddit

I presented with very obvious signs of cancer and was ignored over a prolonged period of time. And this was in the days when there was a lot more money.

I was explicit about what was wrong with me and by the time I was diagnosed and sent to hospital the staff there assumed I'd be the one slow in coming forward. It was very distressing at the time.

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Far-Presentation6307@reddit

Every single symptom can be a "symptom of potential cancer" or other serious issue.

Hospitals create referral guidelines where GPs can refer suspected cancer for further testing. These aim to have a threshold of 3% for detecting cancer.

E.g. Laryngeal cancer: Consider urgent referral (appointment within two weeks) for people aged 45 or over with either: Persistent, unexplained hoarseness OR An unexplained lump in the neck.

You can see how it could go wrong - if the person is under 45, if the hoarseness is not persistent, but instead comes and goes, if the cancer is small, or if the patient is overweight (harder to feel lumps through a thick layer of fat).

The issue is if they don't follow some sort of guidelines then Everyone gets referred. If you refer 100 people and 3 have cancer then that's considered a good use of resources, but if you referred 2000 people, you might find a 4th person who didn't fit the referral criteria. You did just do 1900 extra scans to find 1 cancer, versus 33 scans per cancer using the criteria. It largely boils down to cost effectiveness and what we as a country can afford. Also unnecessary testing can cause major harm.

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Loud_Fisherman_5878@reddit

They can’t though, there are a million symptoms of cancer and almost always turn out to be something else. The NHS cannot afford to refer everyone. I’m not saying that’s a good thing but it is how it is. Of course it means there will be some people who don’t get referred who should have been and I am fully aware how awful that is (I know someone it happened to). Even people who have cancer (ie already diagnosed) aren’t getting appointments in two weeks these days.

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nervousbikecreature@reddit

OP mentioned that the GP didn't even examine her over two appointments and fobbed her off saying it could be menopause. OP went back twice with her issues -- including a swollen neck -- and it sounds like the GP didn't even palpate the swelling, preferring to do what a lot of GPs do, which is dismiss symptoms as "just part of being a woman". To me this sounds extremely incompetent on the GPs part but sadly not uncommon.

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Loud_Fisherman_5878@reddit

You’re right, if this is the case then the GP did mess up badly. I’m not saying all GPs are good at their jobs, there’s a variation amongst them just like any career. And sadly, as you’ve pointed out, women are far more likely to be disadvantaged by this as everything is blamed on ‘women’s problems’!

I guess my point is that we don’t know the full story (I’ve known people to not mention some fairly major symptoms to the doctor and that can of course affect the doctor’s response- not saying this is what OP did, but we don’t know the details) and the person I was replying to seemed very quick to talk about going after the doctor. If the doctor was negligent then of course raise a complaint but I’ve heard of people wanting to do this whenever doctors don’t refer them for tests (or even when doctors wont give them antibiotics for a cold!) and I can understand their frustration but also can see that in a lot of cases the doctors’ hands are tied.

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Smugness1917@reddit

How can you be so sure? You are assuming just as much as the person you're replying to.

Dealing with doctors in this country can be really frustrating, even in the private sector. I have experience in other countries and it's indeed something more pronounced in the UK. For some reasons doctors here are more distant and uninterested.

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bopeepsheep@reddit

I had a GP miss my spinal tumour for several years - luckily, in context, it had calcified by the time it was removed. Working backwards from symptoms we knew it had been at least 3 years. I got a genuine apology from her after the MRI identified it, and not long after I had it removed she moved to work in a specialist women's health clinic. She was generally a decent GP and this experience had upset her. (I saw her once at that clinic and she seemed much happier.)

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Loud_Fisherman_5878@reddit

I am not sure, that is why I said ‘we don’t know’.

We don’t know if the doctor had good reason to refer but was busy scrolling tiktok rather than listening, or if they followed the pathway they were trained to do. They are not allowed to refer people who do not meet the criteria. If they do then the majority of those people will come back as negative and the cost of testing them has to come out of somewhere- possibly the payment for treatment of those already diagnosed.

My point is that hounding the doctor is not okay. You yourself have said it is doctors in this country in general- that implies it is the system at fault, not this individual person. I don’t think it is helpful for OP either to be advised to direct their energy into this unless they really believe the doctor did something wrong. In which case raise a complaint, don’t hound.

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chrisrazor@reddit

This is really fucking awful for you. I'm so sorry. Sadly I've seen this kind of thing several times, and the only way I know to improve the chances of being taken seriously by medical professionals, I'm afraid, is to not be a woman.

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MediumAutomatic2307@reddit

I’m really sorry the NHS let you down in the worst possible way. A video diary of your initial symptoms and what you noticed, what was overlooked/ignored by the doctors might help bring awareness to others.

I’ve been diagnosed as hypothyroid for over 10 years. At my diagnosis - in Switzerland - I had an ultrasound which showed various nodules and cysts, with one “wing” being significantly larger than the other. When I returned to the UK in 2019, my GP scheduled a consult and ultrasound to check up on the status. Due to covid the appointment was cancelled, and has never been rescheduled. I can barely get an annual blood test to check my hormone levels, and my TSH is almost completely unregulated on my current level of medication.

The one time I went to the doctor with a complaint about an increase in my voice huskiness they prescribed a PPI for reflux, and didn’t even consider it being thyroid related.

Being a woman with actual thyroid problems (rather than presumed) is like being left in a desert without a water source when it comes to seeking adequate treatment.

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apple_kicks@reddit

Sorry to hear this.

Awareness for Jess's Rule i hears this saved lives since its start but more people should be made aware. https://www.gov.uk/government/news/life-saving-jesss-rule-to-be-advertised-in-every-gp-surgery

Write to your mp about your story https://www.writetothem.com/ big issues is jess law awareness, make pallative care less of a post code lottery, allow less gatekeeping for cancer diagnosis, fund more lab testing in nhs etc

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Joe_Kinincha@reddit

I don’t have a great answer, only sympathy. It was 25 years ago next month my dad died, shortly after a consultant oncologist told him “I would stake my reputation on you being in remission”.

(I knew where he parked his Porsche 911. I still regret not finding him and fucking him up sufficiently that he couldn’t ruin any more lives)

Don’t believe doctors on the really big calls is an answer, but that probably is counterproductive most of the time.

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TrustIsAWeakness@reddit

This happened to my mother. She had breast cancer around 10 years previous. She kept going docs and saying she had extreme pain in the top of her spine. They kept saying it was arthritas. She had gone a few times and my poor mmum thought she was going crazy and the pain wasn't real. After my dad went with her, it somehow turned into a heated argument, my dad decided to seek another doctor. Anyways a week or so later she was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer, it had spread to her bones and yeah the top of her spine.

She was always going to be terminal if it ever returned, but this went on for over a year... She lived 5 years but it still hurts today to know how much longer she might have had if it was caught earlier and treatment could have started earlier :(

Im terribly sorry to hear of your situation.

Godspeed

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Tough_Warthog7140@reddit

I’m so sorry, OP. It’s so unfair.

My father had papillary thyroid cancer that converted to anaplastic. I miss him so very much. It’s been years and the grief never fully goes away.

If you can, I would record some videos for your loved ones. They will miss the sound of your voice, even if it doesn’t sound like your “normal” voice. I have a hard time recalling the sound of my dad’s and that sometimes feels so unbearable that I can’t breathe. Please focus on those you love; they will need you when times are tough and want you when things are going well.

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ItsMyGayThrowaway@reddit

You've reminded me—the father of a precious young boy—to book some routine checks that I'd put on the back burner, so you've at least helped one family out bud 👍

Sending all our love, I hope you can find / have found peace

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Etheria_system@reddit

Jesus Christ I’m so sorry.

Sadly you’re not the first person this has happened to, hence the new Jess’s rule where if a doctor can’t make a diagnosis after 3 visits they’re encourage to seek a second opinion. I think raising awareness of this rule would be a good idea.

I hope your passing on is as peaceful as possible.

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ASpookyBitch@reddit

As usual doctors dismissing women…

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jcrckstdy@reddit

r/twoxchromosome

maybe contact this person https://www.ymyhealth.com/blog/millennials-and-thyroid-cancer-survivor-story

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TeaAndCrumpetGhoul@reddit

What symptoms did you have?

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Teembeau@reddit

For anyone out there: do your own diagnosis. Books, online materials. Make sure that you agree with your GP. If in any doubt, go to a hospital, get a second opinion, fly to France.

A lot of GPs are not very good. They are General Practitioners. They can do things they see everyday like strep throat. They are often guessing the rest. I spent a year suffering from an ear problem because my GP just threw things at the problem. It took me half a day with some online forums to figure it out myself.

When a GP says "it could be viral or menopause" that's not an answer. "Probably" isn't an answer. They're guessing. And I don't want my life at risk because of a guess. It's frankly scandalous that GPs do this and don't get fired for it.

I have a high opinion of hospital doctors, though.

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PrawnQueen1@reddit

I’m so sorry this is happening 💖🫂sending you so much love! Do you have friends or family that are spending time with you?

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Redheadedgypsyheart@reddit

It really depends on your GP. My GPs are very good at catching things early and do extensive blood tests even if someone is just 'feeling off'... especially in menopause when its so easy just to dismiss symptoms. not all doctors are created equal sadly. I'm so incredibly sorry to hear that this is happening to you and it says a lot about your character that you are wanting to make sure you can help others. Please use your final time thinking about yourself and your family. God bless you.

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charltheunicorn@reddit

sorry to hear this news 💜 I think one of the best ways is tiktok video explaining symptoms/ share to other social media/ share to local news etc tag tag tag as many as you can etc to raise awareness, I am so sorry this is happening to you

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Squidinhk@reddit

Thank you for your bravery and taking your precious time to share with total strangers. I wish you all the best👍🏻

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jcrckstdy@reddit

r/twochromosomes

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GeneralExisting3978@reddit

Id say you’ve already helped people by posting here. I’ve never heard of this. Your drs put it down to menopause, so is this something that affects women or men as well? people over a certain age? Is lifestyle a factor, smoking, drinking, working in dusty environments?

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OnlyMadeForPlace@reddit

I lost my Mum to Thyroid cancer with the same scenario. Swelling and raspy voice.

GP attributed it to menopause also. Only when she complained of difficulty breathing did they take it seriously and do further tests.

She died within 2 weeks of being admitted to hospital.

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rainbowsootsprite@reddit

the NHS are a disgusting failure at this point in time. I realise it’s not really the staff individually at fault, the whole system is in collapse but it can’t be allowed to continue like this. I’m so very sorry for your outcome, friend. I hope your crossing is peaceful. I’m so sorry.

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fluentindothraki@reddit

I am speechless. Those lazy fucks tried to blame the menopause for my auDHD - about a decade before my menopause actually started. I am so so sorry. That is so cruel.

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VFrosty3@reddit

A very sad and all too familiar situation. My wife’s old school friend had something very similar, at a young age, which ended up being too late too. I’m so sorry that this has happened to you.

She posted about it. Her symptoms, how she was dismissed, what the GP said, what should’ve been done. Do the same. Go to your local paper, post on your socials, make videos. People are a lot more engaged in short videos these days, rather than lengthy articles. Get your story out there and you could genuinely save lives.

My heart goes out to you and your loved ones.

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WoodyManic@reddit

I'm so sorry my friend. I've lost two dear friends to thyroid cancer and I can not imagine how devastated you must feel. I am also sorry that you've been so badly let down. You are strong and beautiful and courageous.

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No-Animator-8283@reddit

I’m truly sorry OP, this is so heartbreaking to read. Too many medical malpractice nowadays, and it’s so concerning! i’m hoping your family can fight for legal justice for you, because this is so unacceptable.

My dad nearly got his symptoms ignored, thought it was acid reflux for a year, then turned out to be oesophageal cancer. Luckily they found it when it was stage 2, no lymph nodes. That was only because my dad had to push to be taken seriously.

Now Jess’s law has been put into place, but this should’ve been implemented along time ago.

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AloneAd6899@reddit

First: i am extremely sorry for what is happening to you:( Second: somebody i know was given a few months to live- in 2015. Had no treatment during the lockdown. None. He is not doing that great now…but he is still “doing”

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253011@reddit

Fight it!!! I know of 2 people that were told the same (perhaps with different kinds of cancer), they went through treatment anyway and both got through it. don’t give up

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AssumptionBudget279@reddit

I’m so sorry that’s happened to you.

I’ve had an issue but much less serious like this in the past too.

I was getting constant headaches when I was a teenager and I was constantly told by the doctors, it’s stress.

I was only finally given a MRI scan when after a holiday, after going down a slide my vision blacked out and I was in extreme pain.

The thing is I just knew it wasn’t stress but no one would listen to me. It felt like a hand clamped over my skull or my brain and pressing inwards.

Turns out it WAS something, that I now have to watch my symptoms of, but thankfully nothing fatal.

But I often imagine what if it was fatal? And these doctors would have taken a role in my death.

It’s given me quite bad health anxiety

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WatermelonButterfly@reddit

There’s a doctor in Miami who has been treating patients with targeted peptide treatments. He has treated cancer patients and even reversed Parkinson’s. If you truly believe you have exhausted all existing medical avenues, could you at look into this? It’s advancing quickly and is low toxicity. Might be worth a shot?

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BillWilberforce@reddit

My dad had a similar problem in the late '80s. With suspected bowel (colorectal cancer). Got sent to a local private hospital. Where the consultant just did a "digital examination" (doctor put his finger (digit) up my dad's bum and had a feel around). Got told twice that he had no problems and that the blood in his stools was unexplained but wasn't cancerous.

Eventually went to an other hospital. Who said that the primary growth, was so large that the secondary growths would be uncontrollable.

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muffinhuffinpuffin@reddit

I am so sorry this is happening to you, you are such a kind soul to be thinking of others in this time.

My personal input would suggest to make some videos for Tiktok/social media, which seems silly, but given you mentioned you were the youngest person in the hospice, honestly I think it's a good way to get the message across to younger generation. The overwhelming majority of what I have learnt about various cancers has been from either social media (back before I stopped using it) or TikTok.

Another thing I will add - a similar kind of happened to my father-in-law, he was not well, he went in all sorts of circles with his doctor. Eventually he paid out of pocket to go private as he was deteriorating rapidly and very poorly at that point, and was diagnosed pretty immediately with pancreatic cancer. After he got a diagnosis, to be fair the NHS was extremely good, we didn't think he would last more than a few days, as his deterioration at that point was so rapid, but we got several years more with him thanks to their care.

So I would add the suggestion to whatever message you put out, that if you are in the situation where you feel something is not right or are going in circles with your doctor/being dismissed when you don't think you should be/feel you are being made to wait too long: if you can afford it whatsoever, pay to go for private tests. Many will let you spread the cost to make it more affordable.

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aliaaenor@reddit

This happened to my mum. She kept going to the dr with symptoms of nausea and vomiting, they kept telling her it was anxiety. A year later they did some tests, esophageal cancer, by then it had spread and was too late.

A colleague's best friend died of a brain tumor because they kept telling her it was sinusitis.

My husbands work colleague is dying of bowel cancer because they kept telling her it was IBS.

It's medical misogyny and there is nothing you can do about it because it's baked into the system.

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sunheadeddeity@reddit

Speaks a lot to your character that you are thinking of others even at this stage. I am very sorry. May your last days be full of love and light.

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No_Top6466@reddit

Unfortunately this seems to be quite common. I lost my mum to cancer last week. It honestly felt like they couldn’t be bothered to investigate her issues properly and thought she was being dramatic. By the time she was diagnosed it was incurable. She joined a few cancer groups for support and soooo many people had similar stories. I have lost complete faith in the NHS, I’ve seen far too many failings.

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Original_Bad_3416@reddit

I’m sending a cuddle. Doesn’t do anything but just a massive hug

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spectator_mail_boy@reddit

NHS, envy of the world we're told...

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EyeAware3519@reddit

I'd probably be seeking for that GP to be struck off for gross negligence TBH.

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SearchLightsInc@reddit

Proof that you should always get a second opinion, specially as a woman, GPs aren’t reliable.

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NotTheDamsel@reddit

I'm so sorry. This is terrifying, as someone who's had PTC twice now, it's horrific that they've missed this in you.

Thank you for using your story to bring awareness. If you do decide to create something shareable, please let me know and I will be happy to share on.

I wish you peace in the time you have left, and I will be thinking of you.

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WrongShelf@reddit

Have sent you a PM

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BedGirl5444@reddit

Call the newspapers

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TheAireon@reddit

I have bad news, you simply don't, it's not how life works.

Spend time with your loved ones and enjoy your last moments in life.

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GrandGourmande@reddit

That is absolutely horrendous! I am so sorry, I wish I knew of something that could definitively help. I’ve heard that high doses of Vitamin D and Turmeric can kill cancer, might be worth trying, even at this late stage. Wishing you luck and a miracle 💖

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AskUK-ModTeam@reddit

Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people.

Don't be a dick to each other, or other subreddits, places, or people. AskUK contains a variety of ages, experiences, and backgrounds - consider not everyone is operating on the same level or background as you. Listen to others before you respond, and be courteous when doing so.

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throwthatbishaway1@reddit

I believe your heart is in the right place but this is an unbelievably unhelpful comment. Do you really think cancer would still exist in this day and age if it could be cured by vitamin D?

Please either answer OP’s question or just leave a message of support because false and unsolicited advice like this does more harm than good.

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loosetea123@reddit

Well dome for thinking of how to help others in such an awful time, i am so sorry this has happened to you.

Whether you complain or not, I think your GP needs to know, then they have a reality check about taking people seriously in future. That could definitely save another life!

Maybe see if there's a medical conference where you could do a talk?? I don't know how realistic this is... it may be thought provoking for other doctors to become less 'numb' to people's complaints.

Also please look into the less known about and alternative treatments - i probably can't name there on her but there are SO many success stories from so called helpless cases that didn't have typical treatment and some people totally cleared their cancer. You have nothing to lose by trying and I wish you the absolute best of luck

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Airurando-jin@reddit

OP - Saying sorry to you as a stranger is meaningless, it’s the default thing people say when they don’t know what to say.

This an event that should be wished upon no-one. I think it is admirable of you to want to strike change in what is a very limited period of time, and I would ask if that is truly how you would like to exert your energy with the limited time you have left.

Are there friends and family you want to see, something you want to do or do you just want to be comfortable.

You’ve every right to be angry, and I would highly recommend speaking with the macmillan team who are there to support you too.

You are going to be grieving your own life, and the sudden shortness and fragility of it. If there are people you care for and care for you, do not push them away.

If this is a torch you want carried, pass it on.

Everyone else: google ent/thyroid suspect cancer or 2ww (two week wait) referral criteria, particularly for your area. The forms are likely public facing.

It will help inform your opinion on this and what’s required for the referral to be accepted.

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Familiar-Woodpecker5@reddit

Honestly I don’t know but I am so sorry this is happening to you. What a kind and beautiful soul you are to be thinking of other people. As someone who has worked in end of life care, focus on comfort and love, if possible and if you want to, stay home. May love and light shine upon you ♥️

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Footner@reddit

Not sure but the same thing almost happened to my nan a couple of months ago with a skin thing until my mum intervened and pushed and pushed

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krabbkat@reddit

My partner had thyroid cancer - massive swelling in the front of his throat. It was completely ignored by doctors for years and years until a nurse randomly asked him what it was. He’s ok now, but he was always the only teenager on the cancer ward. I’m sorry OP, we will miss you here.

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Appropriate_Ad_1429@reddit

I'm so sorry for your predicament and I wish you a miracle. You can't stop others getting misdiagnosed and gp's are notorious for missing things that you would think they would notice, a simple blood test would show cancer markers, but there's no point dwelling on the past. Concentrate on yourself, don't take the diagnosis lying down. Go to youtube and look up Dr. Boz there's a school of thought that cancer is a metabolic disease and can be cured. I don't want to give you false hope but I definitely don't think you should give up easily either. I have recently been diagnosed with cervical cancer and doctors answer is to cut it away, it's a barbaric practice and the treatment of chemo and radiotherapy is weakening (not to say not to do it) but I'd take any extra help. It could make a difference. Take care of yourself, I wish you all the best.

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BeatificBanana@reddit

You're going to die :( this delusion is so difficult to read

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maevewiley554@reddit

Why is surgical intervention barbaric?

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throwaway1294857604@reddit

Because they’re a moron with little medical knowledge

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ahktarniamut@reddit

Don’t know what to say to you OP. Sorry for your predicament

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bopeepsheep@reddit

Talk to a journalist if you can bear it; to friends and family if not. Jade Goody did a lot of good for cervical cancer. I've told a lot of people about pancreatic cancer. This post alone is a help for some of us - I didn't know how this one presents, and now I do.

(Mine was caught by accident at stage II, when I got weird blood tests and a new (female) GP refused to listen to the previous (male) GP's IBS/"overweight women problems" diagnosis and actually sent me for tests; they were looking for ovarian or bowel, so I owe my life to a curious (female) ultrasound tech, who kept looking. More women in GP practices might help the 'just menopause' problem.)

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0n_th3_w4y@reddit

The fact that your main priority is other people is incredibly kind. What a bloody unfair situation on you, and the people who care about you, though. Can't even imagine what you're going through. If it's what you'd like to do, keep shouting about your symptoms, and don't let the people responsible go without knowing this was avoidable. We're all thinking of you and wishing you peace

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

Yeah. I won't be on here for long I dont think but I am trying to help organise some stuff for after.

Fundraising for the incredible hospice I'm in, asking work to do a yearly awareness thing.

It was just a comfort at night to focus on a positive

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SightlessFive@reddit

I’m sorry this is happening. Some people are dealt with such bad hands in life.

It’s how my Dad died, got back off his honeymoon and his neck started was hurting on the plane and it was growing, doctors kept saying it was tonsillitis, anyway I had already read into the symptoms and came to the conclusion it must be this.

Absolutely crushed me I was only early 20s. Didn’t hear my dad speak for the last 5 months of his life so I couldn’t even talk to him properly about anything.

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Cal_PCGW@reddit

I feel for you. My mum had a stroke and ended up with full on aphasia. She was a very intelligent and well spoken woman - someone I could go to with any question. She was a keen gardener and I'd ask her about pretty plants I'd seen - things like that. After the stroke she'd understand what I said but she couldn't reply. I guess the lesson is, don't take it for granted that you'll always be able to speak to someone. Make the most of them.

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ComprehensiveFee8404@reddit

I'm so sorry. I think you should go to the BBC to raise awareness. They'd also be able to investigate the GPs' failures.

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simianchilduk@reddit

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

This is the unfortunate side of free healthcare. Had you been in America, they would have run a suit of tests and picked up your initial thyroid cancer, but these tests cost money.

Total reform of the NHS is the only way to avoid this in the future, I'm not arguing for private healthcare as the only healthcare (as the US also shows that is hard on the poor). But better management of NHS spending can, and must, free up budget for better testing.

Again sorry for you.

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Fit_Adhesiveness7307@reddit

Don’t be ridiculous. We DO get tests done. If someone has any symptoms that could be cancer the GP is supposed to refer them to hospital EVERY TIME, and they will then be tested within two weeks. This system has worked for me on multiple occasions, and for many other people I know. The problem in OP’s case is that her GP dismissed her. This wasn’t a fault of the NHS, but that particular GP.

But I guess the facts don’t fit your narrative, so you’ll convince yourself that what I’ve said isn’t true.

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pointlesstips@reddit

Bwahaha, in America she might have got a battery of tests, but the same sexist assholes would have blamed the same 'woman problems', so she'd still be dying, but this time with hundreds of thousands worth of debt.

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simianchilduk@reddit

The symptoms of thyroid cancer are exactly the same a perimenopause, it isn't sexist, but it is accepting the easiest diagnosis and not eliminating any others.

I am in no way saying the American system is good, it isn't it saddles people with debt and excludes many people from treatment.

The point is NHS doctors often go for what seems the most obvious diagnosis, and then don't follow up with testing to rule out other options. This is indicative of a system where cost reduction is a priority. Most of the time the most obvious diagnosis is the correct diagnosis, so this works for most people and saves money.

The UK cancer death rate is 250 per 100,000 in the US it's 145 per 100,000. That's with the more restrictive healthcare system in the US and higher obesity rates (the single biggest predictor of cancer). Why? Better testing.

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pointlesstips@reddit

Oh we have an institutionalised sexism apology now. Women should not have to say 'now diagnose me as if I were a man'. Pretending that the institutional sexism doesn't exist is perpetuating it. You will not get better testing if biases are not tackled.

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simianchilduk@reddit

How is what I said an institutionalised sexism apology?

Read the words written, not what you think is between the lines or left unsaid.

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SnooHabits8484@reddit

The US has a lot of people who don’t have any healthcare, they just got sick and died. I don’t think that shows up in their stats.

They also have an infant mortality rate 2% higher than ours

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Tricky-Reporter-5246@reddit

You're mocking someone on another person's thr and about terminal cancer?

Really????

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pointlesstips@reddit

I'm not mocking any person. I am mocking a stupid statement.

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Superspark76@reddit

Unfortunately this is the real truth, the simple explanation is often used and can often blindside the real issue.

I've had the same issue, complained to my doctor about pain in my fingers, was told it was because of carpal tunnel, which I had several years before, had the doctor actually looked properly they would have been able to diagnose early signs of rheumatoid arthritis and prevented a lot of pain and damage.

My father beat lung cancer, a few years later caught pneumonia, which on an x-ray looked a lot like his cancer had returned, a simple further test showed it was actually pneumonia but not before wrong medication was given which was ultimately the cause of his demise.

The most important thing is not to accept a diagnosis you are sure is wrong. If you have any doubt either keep pestering your GP or go to a different on, privately if necessary

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Maester_Magus@reddit

Using this to push your political brain-rot is beyond low. Your opinion is not only terribly misinformed, demonstrably incorrect and utterly moronic; but seeing this thread as an opportunity to spout it is insensitive and shows a total lack of empathy.

Vile.

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simianchilduk@reddit

I think you may lack reading comprehension. Nothing I said is a political statement.

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jools4you@reddit

Had op been in America with Health Insurance and money to cover the out of pocket expenses and money to cover wages because no sick pay. Look i fixed it for you.

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pointlesstips@reddit

And even then OP would still have been treated like a woman with woman problems.

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Disastrous-Design503@reddit (OP)

We do not have free health care in the UK. We all collectively pay into it.

It's just free at the point of service. For everyone who needs it.

Thats not a bad thing.

Those US tests were run on me. The problem was the process wasn't followed snd it was too late.

That's a sloppy process and poor training. And a lack of public awareness.

That seems fixable.

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RichardShah@reddit

I am so sorry. Did your GP ever take accountability?

I would make a video about your experience in full, and post it everywhere. Then go spend your remaining time with yourself and your loved ones.

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Klutzy_Ad_8886@reddit

My mum was diagnosed by a GP with constipation... She had late small cell lung cancer that had spread to her liver and adrenal gland. Along with her bleeding disorder she was being studied how they both teamed up and accelerated progression. 14 days later we lost her....So many people are being pushed aside with concerns. Time and money are an issue with the whole system. Even though it would be lovely to raise awareness, focus on yourself, your family and any arrangements that need sorting out. I'm so terribly sorry you have been failed, and it breaks my heart to think it could have been avoided. Sending you all the love and peace xx

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steak-connoisseur@reddit

Please seek legal advice. You are not alone. I know of someone else in a similar situation where the doctors failed and she ended up passing away. He family ended up getting a sizeable payout. I am really sorry.

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NoodleCheeseThief@reddit

So sorry to hear about your ordeal.

Spend time doing what you love. And remember, miracles do happen so keep doing what makes you and your family happy.

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Fit_Adhesiveness7307@reddit

Trust me when I say that is a REALLY fucked up “joke” that’s not remotely funny to anyone but you. And I normally love dark humour but this isn’t that: your words just come across as unpleasant. What do you expect OP to do, laugh “oh yeah, I’m gonna die soon hahaha”? Maybe you really didn’t mean to be hurtful or horrible - I can see the rest of your post is okay - but then you need to work on your social awareness if you think saying something like that is a joke.

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nWoScot@reddit

Not even kidding here I would genuinely kill that GP if I was you.

What they going to do, jail you?

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pebblewish47@reddit

It's heartbreaking that something so treatable was missed because you weren't examined properly. Sharing your specific early symptoms could genuinely save someone else who reads them and pushes for that crucial test. While you absolutely deserve to focus on your own peace, leaving that practical knowledge behind is a powerful legacy. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

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sjw_7@reddit

So sorry to hear that.

If nothing else you have posted this and it will be seen and read by thousands of people. So for those ones you have already raised awareness.

Possibly speak to the media as well who may want to publish your story which will reach another audience too.

You have already done some good with this as there are going to be a lot of people out there who are thinking about this now and checking themselves. And in the future if something changes they may well think back to this post and instead of ignoring it get it checked and then get treatment if needed.

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Zubi_Q@reddit

I'm so sorry to read this. I would be absolutely livid and you can't even sue

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bannanawaffle13@reddit

I am so sorry to hear what your going through. As soon as you said blamed it on the menopause I just took deep sigh, women are so often overlooked due to a sexist system, that overlooks women's true pain and suffering. You have two options really, you either spend your last few weeks fighting hard to get justice for being fucked by the system or you focus it on having the best few weeks you can, you can't changed what happened but you can change how you respond. What I would personally do is contact a press agency, the ones who negotiate with the big newspapers and get them to publish the story, I would also say though is don't just burn through all your money, I've known of people to be given a week to live and living a lot less longer, but get out there, treat yourself, go sit and watch a sunset and sunrise, meet up with old friends, burying the hatchet with anyone you've fallen out with before, just focus on making what could be your last few weeks as positive as possible.

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whoops53@reddit

My heart jumped with pain for you, because I I had to fight for my own thyroid cancer diagnosis as well. Doctors spend years being educated in this stuff, get paid a fortune, yet don't seem to know what a serious illness looks like!
Getting people educated is what I would suggest. Nobody is really aware of how serious a symptom could be (clearly doctors don't either!) So you could try that. But honestly....being with your people and enjoying the time you have, will mean more.
I'm so sorry. 🫂

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toady89@reddit

I was repeatedly dismissed by the same doctor for years when I was reporting pain as a teenager, it was our family doctor and my parents refused to see anyone else except the one time all the doctors were off and they had a locum covering. The locum referred me and the end diagnosis kind of made sense plus the recommended physio helped, however 20 years later I've since had an MRI for a different issue and they've picked up some misalignment of bones that should've been picked up when I had an x-ray as a teenager.

Now as an adult I have no issues asking for a second or third opinion if I feel someone isn't taking it seriously or if their diagnosis doesn't fully make sense, you know your body a lot better than they do.

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maddielark@reddit

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. honestly the most impactful thing you could do is push for stronger patient safety reporting and make your story part of medical education or advocacy groups so it actually changes how symptoms get taken seriously. your voice could still help people even now

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bobbyv137@reddit

I am so sorry. To read this first thing in the morning breaks my heart. Lost for words.

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abyssal-isopod86@reddit

I am so very sorry.

My heart goes out to you and your loved ones, I'm sorry there's nothing else I can do besides offer you these words of sorrow and commiseration.

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