How to give my donor son his first thanksgiving?
Posted by Aborealhylid@reddit | AskAnAmerican | View on Reddit | 246 comments
My son’s donor is from the US. This year I want to prepare a quintessentially American thanksgiving feast to introduce him to his donor’s culture. What are the must have dishes? What do you drink? Are there decorations? Do you give thanks to Native Americans or give thanks generally? Do guests leave right after or stay and chat? If I must have something eg. a specialty soft drink I can buy it from an importer. Thank you!
molten_dragon@reddit
Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce are the most traditional thanksgiving foods.
Whatever you want. Specific drinks aren't really a part of most Thanksgiving traditions.
Sometimes, but it's not like Christmas where most people decorate.
It's more of a general giving thanks.
People usually stay for awhile after the meal and socialize.
orcas-@reddit
I’m sure there’s all different kinds of traditions - my family is Italian American and our thanksgiving is usually from 2p til 9 or 10pm - starting with an antipasto course, then an hour break, then a soup, then a break, then a pasta, then a break, then turkey/ sides, then a break, then coffee n desserts
MercuryRules@reddit
People don't leave after the meal. They're usually in a food coma and the first person to come out of it has to roll the guests to the door.
TAforScranton@reddit
That last one: People don’t usually leave directly after the meal unless they have another gathering to attend. The protocol is to find a good place to stretch out and bask in the food coma. My grandmother has shag carpet in her house and I have spent many thanksgiving evenings just lying on that carpet taking a half nap.
marigoldpossum@reddit
I also feel like Thanksgiving is the one holiday where you may end up with last minute guests that are stranded in your area. Living in a college town, sometimes you'll swoop up some college kids that can't make it back home. Or your own kids will bring home their roommates if their roommates can't make it back to their own home. That kind of thing. It's family, but also can be friends or neighbors.
hissyfit64@reddit
What a sweet gesture.
Traditional foods include (but not limited to)
Roast turkey
Stuffing (bonus points if some of it is cooked IN the turkey - do not leave stuffing in turkey overnight, put it in right before cooking)
Mashed potatoes
gravy
cranberry sauce
pie for dessert (pumpkin is traditional but I hate it so we have apple)
Other common dishes:
sweet potatoes
green beans
My family will go around the table and each say something they are grateful for.
People tend to linger, eat leftovers, talk, have more leftovers, fall asleep, watch football and wake up enough to eat more.
Sending people home with leftovers is very common.
Have fun!
GreenBeanTM@reddit
And for a drink, especially for kids it’s apple cider at least in my area of the country.
cryptoengineer@reddit
Note that we're talking about non-alcoholic cider here.
hissyfit64@reddit
Depends on the family, maybe?
cryptoengineer@reddit
Perhaps. But most would not give alcohol to a child.
I felt is necessary to remark, because in some places, such as the UK, 'cider' by default is alcoholic.
hissyfit64@reddit
Good point. I was joking, picturing a family just sitting around hammered including the little kids
BlueRubyWindow@reddit
Sparkling apple cider specifically, right? Or just plain apple cider?
Classic_Cash_2156@reddit
Plain non-alcoholic apple cider.
Also try warming it up to like a hot-drink temperature (like hot chocolate or tea), you can also add in spices like cinnamon if you want something more than just plain apple.
BlueRubyWindow@reddit
I was asking as an American cuz I’ve seen lots of Martinelli’s sparking apple juice type beverages served at Thanksgiving or New Years or special events as the non-alcoholic option for kids and for anyone who wants it instead of champagne, wine, etc.
We always called it “apple cider” since it is non alcoholic sparkling apple cider, I guess?
We always had it at Thanksgiving so everyone had something to toast with.
I didn’t realize straight apple cider (like the brown color) was also a tradition. But it makes sense! Very seasonal!
GreenBeanTM@reddit
Plain apple cider, adults add champagne if they want.
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
Love it! Never heard of apple cider for Thanksgiving but it sounds good!
GreenBeanTM@reddit
It’s only really sold in the fall so it’s kind of treated like how eggnog is in the winter.
Crazycatlover@reddit
It does freeze well as long as you give it plenty of room to expand in the container. My family always went to an orchard (owned by in-laws of my mother's coworker) once a year and bought anywhere from 5-8 gallons. Then we'd open all but one one and have warm cider as a bedtime treat for a week or so (until they were depleted enough) and put all the open ones in the freezer. And yes, we had a giant freezer in the garage (hunting family as well -- mostly elk and deer).
That said, one of the frozen ones did ferment one year. Still less than 1% rate, but definitely check that before sending your elementary and jr high kids to school with hard cider sippy cups in their lunchboxes...
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
Yeah but for some reason I associate it more with Halloween, not sure why, it’s usually too warm around Halloween to be drinking it anyways but that period of the leaves changing and Halloween feels more like apple cider weather where I am, not saying it doesn’t sound good! just not something I’ve seen done but I think I’d be into trying next year for thanksgiving
GreenBeanTM@reddit
Here it’s definitely not too warm for apple cider at Halloween here 😂 when I was still trick or treating there was actually a guy that would give out hot apple cider for Halloween instead of candy.
Also in my experience apple cider is actually usually had cold at thanksgiving since no one wants to deal with heating that many cups of it.
IndyWineLady@reddit
We use a crock pot for mulled cider. I love it cold our hot!
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
it was cold when I was kid, I remember having to wear a coat under my costume and being mad that it made my costume look bad lol, but the last 10 years or so Halloweens are no colder than 65-70 degrees unfortunately, when I was a kid I can recall it being 20-40 degrees most years and I guess that’s why we all were happy to take a ladle of hot apple cider lol
GreenBeanTM@reddit
Yea Halloweens have definitely warmed up in my life time too, but the difference here is it not being uncommon to trick or treat in snow to 20-40 degrees 😂
SnowblindAlbino@reddit
We have served sparkling cider for the kids on Thanksgiving since the mid-1970s in my family. I thought that was fairly common actually.
PretzelAlley@reddit
Apple cider is great cold and makes a great slushie! I'm in Ohio so it can be either 40 or 80 in October and most Apple orchards have hot and cold cider.
OwnTurn1146@reddit
Just an FYI- cooking stuffing in the bird is a good way to make people sick. It absorbs the liquid from the bird that can have bacteria and doesn't reach a temp that will kill said bacteria unless you way overcook the turkey. It's not a safe or recommended practice.
Also, pumpkin is absolutely better than apple! Especially with homemade, unsweetened whipped cream.
baconcansave@reddit
I love putting apples, oranges, fresh cranberries and the left over herbs inside the cavity. I don’t know if it does anything, but I like to think it gives it some more moisture inside.
Crazycatlover@reddit
My parents always cooked some stuffing in the bird and then transferred it to a Dutch oven to continue cooking up to a safe temperature. I thought everyone did that until my late teens and was rather surprised (and off-put because I knew that meant it was undercooked).
chairmanghost@reddit
We stuff onions in there, dressing ( stuffing) is it's own wonderful dish
TheKiddIncident@reddit
aaaaand if you have a vigorous safety debate about stuffing cooked in the bird, you're doing thanksgiving right. So, happy America day.
ButterscotchOdd8257@reddit
Yes, you have to carefully monitor the internal temperature to make stuffing safe.
I prefer stuffing baked in a dish using turkey juices or stock anyway. I like how it gets crunchy.
Ludwigthemadking@reddit
I'll add green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, and deviled eggs, and pecan pie is also very popular at Thanksgiving. Everyone does something a little different, but these are Thanksgiving staples for me. Apple cider is a very popular fall drink - I mull it with orange, cloves, cinnamon, and nutmeg.
MercuryRules@reddit
Deviled eggs and pecan pie. Serve the eggs early since people tend to stuff themselves with them. Other appetizers are ants on a log (peanut butter in celery sticks with raisins on them), and a cheese and cracker board. Brie en croute with cranberries is so good.
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
Perfect list, I’d also add green bean casserole instead of just plain green beans, where I’m from anyways! I’d also add pecan pie to the pie list as well.
And not to be annoying but stuffing is when it’s cooked in the bird, if it’s not it’s called dressing.
Also, while football is definitely a beloved tradition, it’s also VERY common to watch the Macys Thanksgiving Day parade on TV, I always loved it growing up and would get excited to see my favorite cartoon characters as parade floats lol.
Popular decor is a Cornucopia and images of Native Americans and Pilgrims together, as well as imagery of turkeys; sometimes the turkeys are in pilgrim hats and indian head dresses.
While I think we all acknowledge that the story is exaggerated and leaves out a lot of the horrors of the time period, I’d print out or just tell the story we all hear of the Pilgrims and Native Americans meeting together for a big feast, and the natives showed the Pilgrims how to grow corn so they could survive and feed their livestock. It’s definitely a very childlike representation of reality when in reality the pilgrims and natives were at war and the few times they trusted each other they always turned on each other, but it is part of tradition to highlight that very early point in American history.
Crazycatlover@reddit
I disagree with green bean casserole. Every dish is so heavy on Thanksgiving (I do understand that is mostly intentional). So is green bean casserole while lightly cooked (steamed, roasted, fried, whatever you want) is a lighter dish that kind of helps balance things out. I'm sure this attitude reflects where I'm from though.
My family would always take a walk outside between dinner and dessert to let the large meal settle a bit.
I would also encourage OP to make bone broth from the turkey carcass. I made it with chicken feet thrown in a few years ago, and it was really good. Not sure I'd buy chicken feet specially for that unless they were on sale though. I had some on hand that I'd bought as cat treats, but the cats didn't want them.
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
Yeah I think it’s to do with where you’re from, green bean casserole is commonplace for thanksgiving here
And yeah for sure, I learned it was a regional difference in language from this comment section, I figured it was country wide, I had no clue.
DjinnaG@reddit
Some people call it dressing if it’s not cooked in the bird, most people I’ve known call it stuffing either way. The manufacturer of Stove Top call it stuffing, and the in-bird instructions are tiny. This is probably regional, but to me, the name of the dish is stuffing, dressing is what goes on salad-type foods
Familiar-Ad-1965@reddit
Dressing in the US south. Always made with days old cornbread. Lots of sage & black pepper. Also southern is sweet potato pie not pumpkin.
Watch the morning parade and afternoon football.
DjinnaG@reddit
What part of the south are you in? I’ve never seen sweet potato pie served instead of pumpkin. Some restaurants will describe the bread side as dressing, but every human person will call it stuffing. (Alabama and Georgia here, though my family is from North Carolina)
Quirky-Bad857@reddit
My SIL is Black and her mom always makes sweet potato pie.
LAWriter2020@reddit
In Mississippi and Louisiana we called it dressing. Always cornbread - none of that nasty Yankee white bread dressing/stuffing. With oysters in it if Louisiana.
We had both sweet potato pie and pumpkin pie. And Karo syrup Pecan pie.
chairmanghost@reddit
Im not downvoting you for calling it something different, but for
There are more places than your house
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
Might be an upper South vs Deep South thing, all my family in Arkansas and Tennessee has said dressing for cooked not in the bird and stuffing when it’s stuffed inside the bird. Always cool and fun to see such small regional differences you’d never know exist, I’d have been willing to bet before this comment thread that everyone said dressing and stuffing for the reasons I’ve state, hell, that’s why I said it so matter of factly lol, the more you know.
DjinnaG@reddit
Honestly, the south is so fragmented, it never surprises me anymore that people in one small town have a completely different word from the next one over
Familiar-Ad-1965@reddit
How true
Familiar-Ad-1965@reddit
West Tennessee. But during fall, Wal~Mart has Patty LaBell Sweet PotatoPie, even in Florida. However the Best is usually found in a sketchy looking roadside BBQ joint where the owner’s 90 year old momma is the baker.
Funny-Dare-3823@reddit
Stuffing and Dressing are quite different. Dressing is more wet, lots of boiled eggs and very peppery.
worrymon@reddit
The Cornucopia will either be an elaborate wicker contraption or made of construction paper.
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
I remember making them out of construction paper in elementary school but definitely not at home lol
worrymon@reddit
You didn't bring it home and have mom proudly display it in the center of the table?
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
Could have! Don’t recall
CycadelicSparkles@reddit
The dressing/stuffing thing is highly regional. My family always called it stuffing. It has never actually been stuffed into the turkey.
byebybuy@reddit
Same. Didn't hear it called "dressing" till later in life.
CycadelicSparkles@reddit
Yeah, dressing makes me think of, like, ranch. I know there are other kinds of dressing, intellectually, but that word does not mean cubed bread mixed with spices and broth.
byebybuy@reddit
Gonna agree with you again, if only to give everyone a second chance to downvote my lived experience lol
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
People truly downvote anything and everything lol, you could say that the Sun existing is a good thing and you’d get at least a few downvotes and someone replying that you’re over simplifying it and so on and so forth, I enjoy a lot of the content on Reddit but at least 80% of the people on here at the absolute worst lol
Theycallmesupa@reddit
And none of that whole berry nonsense. Gelled goo with the can ripples.
Crazycatlover@reddit
No, both! The whole berry is so good on turkey, and the ripples version is so good on it's own.
CharlesDickensABox@reddit
Putting stuffing inside the bird is an awful practice. To be safe to eat after contact with raw poultry, the stuffing has to cook to 165F (74 C). If you cook a bird to that temperature, it dries out and becomes a terrible chalky mess, to say nothing of what the excess moisture in the oven does to turkey skin. It's much better to cook them separately and then add the bird's drippings to the stuffing while it's resting.
Kathubodua@reddit
Our family has always trimmed fat from the bird and rendered it to mix into the stuffing. Way better than putting stuffing in
sparkledotcom@reddit
It is American tradition to argue over the proper preparation of the stuffing throughout the holiday.
smileysarah267@reddit
my aunts got an in argument one year about the the proper ingredients of stuffing, so now everyone brings their own and we arent allowed to talk about
CharlesDickensABox@reddit
But one side of the argument is correct and I can prove it with science. The shitty cooks who still do it the old way are the reason that so many of us grew up thinking we hated turkey.
Side benefit, an unstuffed (or, even better, spatchcocked) turkey cooks faster and more evenly, which means you won't have guests waiting around for hours getting hungry while you stare at a thermometer willing it to rise. And there's less chance of foodborne illness from undercooked stuffing.
boodyclap@reddit
Depending on where int he US he's from, mac and cheese is very common in the south as well
Zappagrrl02@reddit
Some sort of bread roll is also common. Depending on heritage/location corn casserole and Mac and cheese are also common sides.
Zappagrrl02@reddit
Honestly, don’t cook the stuffing in the turkey. It’s so much better cooked separately. In order to get the stuffing cooked through, you have to overcook the turkey. Plus you can get the crispy edges when you cook it separately in a pan. We call it dressing though!
Astronomer_Original@reddit
Yes. There is usually a football game playing in the background. The sound is often off so people can talk.
chameleonsEverywhere@reddit
Thanksgiving has a fairly consistent menu with only some regional/family variations.
Decorations are really only done by small children. Making "hand turkeys" is the standard arts and crafts activity - trace your hand or make a paint/ink handprint, then the thumb is the head and fingers are its tail feathers. This is a universal childhood art project in the USA, worth doing while your kid is in the 3-10 age range.
ProfessionalCat7640@reddit
I feel like I’m really showing my age here but it seems like no one remembers the Thanksgiving cornucopia (usually wicker filled with fall flowers, gourds, and little pumpkins). I haven’t seen one in years but they were everywhere when I was a kid.
Meowmeowmeow31@reddit
There aren’t that many Thanksgiving decorations, other than general harvest/fall decor. Your son could make a hand turkey craft. Sometimes kids (or their parents) write something they’re thankful for on each finger.
ProfessionalCat7640@reddit
Growing up I used to see a lot of those wicker cornucopias with fall flowers, pumpkins, and gourds.
ProfessionalCat7640@reddit
While it’s not as common as it used to be, something called a “Cornucopia” was at one time a common decoration that symbolized Thanksgiving abundance and was often a centerpiece on tables or buffet cabinets.
Grand_Raccoon0923@reddit
Organ donor?
2Asparagus1Chicken@reddit
Pretty personal think to ask
Aborealhylid@reddit (OP)
He is donor conceived :)
Ok_Anything_9871@reddit
I figured this out after rereading your post a couple of times but I genuinely first thought of organ donation - like your son's heart came from an American and you wanted to honour that.
I'm not sure if it's regional, but be aware this is an odd and confusing way to put it! Just saying sperm donor would be a lot clearer.
pinniped90@reddit
You traveled to the US for the procedure? Or you arranged a donor you know happens to be American?
Bit of an odd connection... Anyway, Thanksgiving is done lots of different ways, but the core recipes are all online.
OneNerdyLesbian@reddit
It's actually pretty common for people in other countries to get sperm shipped from the US instead of using a sperm donor from their own country because it's easier to access here. Some countries have much longer waiting lists.
addictedtotext@reddit
Plus there is a lower chance of meeting a donor sibling if you go way outside your country
datsyukianleeks@reddit
Believe it or not, the US doesn't regulate sperm donors as closely as Asia and Europe do, so there are weirdos here trying to create the world in their image sending their sperm all over the world...they advertise, they network, they really push it. I know of one who even put out an ad in an MIT paper looking specifically for Asian women who were valedictorian of their high school class. This guy fancies himself a genius and has been the donor for at least 150 people (that's the number of people in the Facebook group that are self aware of their situation). Dude is fucking freak. And he is not unique.
Adventurous-Chef8776@reddit
Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! Here is the 2025 parade
https://youtu.be/cAOqLQQDm74?si=P-5EYYr5ZlanmLwb
Here's recipes but we usually have turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, roasted sweet potatoes, corn, rolls and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.
Best 65 Traditional Thanksgiving Dinner Recipes https://share.google/tkEYglUzR4zxI5OSO
MotherTeresaOnlyfans@reddit
It would be one thing if the sperm donor was Japanese or Nigerian or Mexican or something, but "American Culture (tm)" isn't an ethnic thing and you wouldn't be cutting him off from his heritage or something.
Just like if his bio dad was British you wouldn't need to make him beans on toast or tea and biscuits so he could understand his heritage.
He's already going to get exposed to a ton of American culture just because of how globally popular American media is.
I'd argue it's more important that he understand American history (*especially* the bad stuff).
WarProper3733@reddit
She has a fun idea for her kid. Why you gotta come in and shit on that idea because you have nothing to be thankful for.
Proof-Introduction42@reddit
black American is an ethnic group , also English is an ethnic group in Britain , they have history, culture, traditions like all the other ethnicities you mentioned.
Donohoed@reddit
I thought that at first and then remembered some people call the father the sperm donor
quitealargeorangecat@reddit
Why would you call someone that jerked off into a cup and did nothing else a father? A sperm donor and a father are very different things.
Donohoed@reddit
I meant when people use that term in the context of deadbeat or absent fathers
itsprofessork@reddit
It depends on the situation but most donor conceived children definitely don’t consider the donor their “father.” Especially if the donation came from a sperm bank.
Donohoed@reddit
I was more referring to mothers talking about a person they had a child with but no longer had a relationship with or that is an absent father
itsprofessork@reddit
Ah, that makes sense
ecce_hobo@reddit
Sperm donor
Hey-Bud-Lets-Party@reddit
Two reasons to use a turkey baster
bellesearching_901@reddit
Thank you for asking
Grand_Raccoon0923@reddit
My dad is one of the longest living heart recipients. And he has some funny stories about some of his friends that he has met that that have also received organs.
You don’t find out until like 10 years or so later who the donor was. I guess they don’t want you bothering the family.
One of his friends is an old conservative white man. He found out his heart came from a black woman. He thought this explained why his dietary preferences changed afterward.
So the question about food kind of made me wonder.
Ghoulish_kitten@reddit
Yes please add in teaching abt indigenous peoples who dealt with the colonizers. This holiday is very “Disneyfied.”
Accurate history about the “first Thanksgiving” is interesting for kids.
Majoritu of people view this holiday as a time to give thanks, it implies contemplation. I think taking time to think abt the indigenous and what they were up against, why the colonizers where here, is in line with that.
GlassCharacter179@reddit
Turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, dinner rolls, stuffing, sweet potatoes
KittyKittyowo@reddit
Ok here is the most important part. Family. My thanksgiving always has cousins and aunt and grandparents. The cousins will bring their S.O.s. You make so much food you try to give a good amount of it away and you still end up having to eat it for leftovers for what feels like weeks later.
Be a glutton. Eat as much as you want. We always gave the kids sparkling grape juice in place of champagne.
And pumpkin pie after. Idk if y'all have got Costco but if you do get it from there.
There is no overstating how much of a family holiday thanksgiving is. It is a feast! For some it may be a potluck but the hosting family almost always cooks the turkey/ham. You hang out with family! The feast is only like 40 percent of the time spent. The rest is with family. Because it's time to be thankful. We literally went around the table and said one thing we are grateful for.
There is also friendsgiving that he can do too. That's just dinner with friends. It's more toned down.
asexualrhino@reddit
I think foods are going to be a simple Google search so I'll throw in some other things. My son is donor conceived too with the donor being from Russia (haven't started any particularly Russian things yet though. Hoping to go to a festival some time this year)
Everyone does it differently but Thanksgiving "dinner" is generally eaten early in the day, often around 3pm. It's honestly closer to a lunch.
A small gathering might use real plates, but a large group would likely use paper plates. And you can't forget red solo cups! Thanksgiving is generally one of the few times Americans use table clothes. These can be cheap plastic or real cloth. Cheesey napkins with a picture of a turkey or something like that are a must, but you would probably have trouble finding that. Thanksgiving colors are traditionally brown, orange, and red, so one of those.
Some people definitely honor or even just mention the Native Americans. However, Thanksgiving is considered a day of mourning for many Native American people. Do not have any "Indian and pilgrim" decorations. I've never seen this IRL but it's a common movie decoration trope that needs to go away.
Remember that there really isn't a right or wrong way to do it. Just make sure you have a turkey, pumpkin pie, and rehash the same family argument that you've been having for 47 years 🙂
You're also not allowed to eat anything but leftovers for the next 4 days after
LetterheadClassic306@reddit
i’ve hosted thanksgiving for years and the table is usually the star. turkey’s the centerpiece but you’ll also want stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. for drinks, many do sparkling cider or a basic red wine. decorations lean into fall colors - gourds, candles, a simple tablecloth. it’s general thanks, not specifically native american, and guests usually linger for hours chatting. for a soft drink that feels right, grab Martinelli's sparkling cider. it’s what we put out for kids and anyone skipping wine.
steviehatillo@reddit
Curious that this isn’t mentioned in the top comments, but Thanksgiving is in November. Most of the foods eaten at Thanksgiving are in season in autumn. Are you just planning well in advance or are you intending to hold this Thanksgiving dinner in the near future?
11twofour@reddit
She appears to be Australian, so maybe she's timing things for their fall
ShakeWeightMyDick@reddit
It’s help specifically on the last Thursday in November.
11twofour@reddit
No, it's the fourth Thursday in November. Usually that's the last but not always.
ShakeWeightMyDick@reddit
Ah yes
shelwood46@reddit
But also, turkey is great when made on grill or in an outdoor deep fryer, so it's fine to make it when it's hot out.
cofeeholik75@reddit
My Mom made a Waldorf Salad. Apples, celery, walnuts and mayo. We liked having something crisp & cold to break up the heaviness of all the other dishes.
toyheartattack@reddit
I think turkey, cranberry sauce (homemade or canned!), and mashed potatoes are considered quintessential.
wvtarheel@reddit
Cranberry sauce? That's like something you learn about when they teach you about Thanksgiving in school and no one actually eats it.
Here it's probably turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, hot rolls, and a green vegetable side that people begrudgingly eat a small bite of. Oh and pumpkin pie though. If op is overseas they probably can't get the right kind of pumpkin
Khpatton@reddit
I’ve done Thanksgiving with both sides of my family, different groups of in-laws and partners’ families, and several different friend groups. Every single Thanksgiving meal has included cranberry sauce, and people (including me) always eat it.
DjinnaG@reddit
Yeah, haven’t seen cranberry sauce served in decades, as no one actually eats it
Khpatton@reddit
My wife and I brought our own in case my mom used her preferred recipe again (not bad, just not to my taste). Quite literally every Thanksgiving I’ve been to, with many different family and friend groups, has served cranberry sauce, and it always gets eaten.
ChzGoddess@reddit
I work in a BBQ restaurant of all places and we go through industrial sized cans of cranberry sauce. Our Thursday special is turkey and dressing, and folks will ask for extra.
pandaflufff@reddit
I've never been to a Thanksgiving without it and it's always eaten!
0le_Hickory@reddit
You got to get cranberry out of the can so that it still has rings. None of this silly stuff with real cranberries identifiable.
AdelleDeWitt@reddit
Well, yeah. The ridges from the can are what make it fancy!
AdelleDeWitt@reddit
Are you not eating the cranberry sauce? Eat the cranberry sauce! Don't make it fresh because that's gross. Get a can of cranberry jelly. It's fucking delicious and goes with the other Thanksgiving foods so well. I love it in my mashed potatoes.
SchoolForSedition@reddit
That’s a pity. Cranberry sauce if very good with poultry. Making your own is easy though it absolutely requires sugar.
huazzy@reddit
Oddly, I prefer the canned version. Like the ridges of the can being visible and all. Every homemade version I've tried is either ridiculously sweet or ridiculously tart. The canned ones are "perfect".
Crazycatlover@reddit
I like both. I put the homemade on my turkey and eat a slice of the canned plain.
CycadelicSparkles@reddit
Same. Canned cranberry sauce is pretty great.
BALLSonBACKWARDS@reddit
Ya know what… just thinking about cranberry sauce… I love that stuff. No matter home made, canned, or super generic brand I’ve never heard off. And I still love it.
mesembryanthemum@reddit
My step mother makes a killer cranberry sauce. I don't care for it but everyone else practically attacks it. I think it's Martha Stewart's recjpe.
YonderPricyCallipers@reddit
What are you talking about? We've had (homemade) cranberry sauce every Thanksgiving my whole life (almost 49 years). It's awesome, and definitely a key component of a full turkey dinner.
11twofour@reddit
You got schooled on cranberries dude
CycadelicSparkles@reddit
In my family, cranberry sauce is much loved and we eat it throughout the year, not just on Thanksgiving.
ArkansasTravelier@reddit
Maybe your family, I’ve always enjoyed it and so do my friends and family, we even had it in school for our Thanksgiving lunch growing up and when fast food places do “thanksgiving sandwiches” they always include cranberry sauce. I think it’s definitely a vital part of the traditional Thanksgiving meal
xannieh666@reddit
What? Cranberry is what can save the Turkey! Our stores have a hard time keeping it stocked the closer Thanksgiving gets ...it's one of the first things I buy.
cmhoughton@reddit
A lot of people love cranberry sauce. It’s easy to make if you don’t like the canned jelly stuff. My sister makes it fresh every year, with the berries in it, while one of my other sisters likes the canned jelly without the berries…
ionmoon@reddit
What?!? I love cranberry sauce.
Dear-Bet5344@reddit
No one actually eats it?
We've had 3 different kinds of cranberry sauce at the table on Thanksgiving.
Wilfried84@reddit
Eat it or not, it has to be there. It is quintessential.
Mental_Freedom_1648@reddit
My family would riot if there wasn't any cranberry sauce.
pyro99998@reddit
We eat it every year at my house! But I also make it and don't eat that gross canned shit
Free-Sherbet2206@reddit
Um, I’ve never been to a Thanksgiving without cranberries. Not sure why you think that’s uncommon
OmightyOmo@reddit
Stuffing debate = Stove Top
AdelleDeWitt@reddit
The big traditional foods are roast turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potatoes, green beans, corn, cranberry jelly, and pies like pumpkin pie, apple pie, pecan pie.
Fall colored leaves and dried corn and dried gourds or anything pumpkin themed are traditional decorations.
Often before eating everyone takes turns saying what they are thankful for. It's stuff like family, food, the home, etc.
After dinner it's often traditional to take a walk and then a nap.
huazzy@reddit
Naturalized American here and the great thing about the U.S is that everyone celebrates Thanksgiving in their own way.
Sure turkey, stuffing, and cranberry might be staples but they're not rules.
lonelygayPhD@reddit
It's true. I know plenty of people who hate turkey. One friend did lobster for Thanksgiving, and others have ham. Personally, I need my Thanksgiving to include turkey and cranberry sauce.
jmcookie25@reddit
Mine needs stuffing 😋
Saruster@reddit
A few years back, I stumbled upon a corn casserole recipe and was hooked! I make it for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Bonus—my husband and son don’t like it so I get to eat it all. Last year on the day after Christmas I was sitting on the couch watching some mind numbing TV and eating the leftover casserole straight out of the casserole dish. The best.
jmcookie25@reddit
Haha I love that. Would you share the recipe?
Saruster@reddit
Sure. It’s crazy easy!
1 can of whole corn, drained 1 can of creamed corn 1 cup of sour cream 1 stick of melted butter (½ cup) 1 box of Jiffy Cornbread mix (ignore the box instructions, you just need the powder/mix)
Mix everything together and put in a greased casserole dish (8x8 works best for me but I also use a round dish)
Bake at 350 for 45-50 mins. The timing is going to depend on your dish so do the toothpick test to make sure it’s done.
It’s delicious!
jmcookie25@reddit
Omg sounds so good. Thank you!
lonelygayPhD@reddit
Oh yes. My favorite part. We've always done a Portuguese stuffing (stuffing with chourico in it).
jmcookie25@reddit
That sounds delicious!!!
CycadelicSparkles@reddit
We did a fish and chips feast a few years ago. It was pretty great. Went back to normal Thanskgiving food the next year, but changing it up was fun.
FartCartographer@reddit
My family used to have a smoked brisket and traditional barbecue sides for thanksgiving. At my house, we don’t have a traditional meal, we just make something nice that we all agree on. But the one constant is canned cranberry sauce. I could eat a whole can by myself, I love the junk.
huazzy@reddit
For example, just last week I found out that my Indian-American coworker (who is vegetarian) doesn't serve a turkey in her family dinner but they marinate and bake a massive cauliflower in lieu of a turkey.
I thought that was adorably endearing.
_bibliofille@reddit
Cooooullld you manage to get the recipe for this marinated cauliflower?
huazzy@reddit
u/_bibliofille
She said you can look up any Tandoori recipe. Apparently they are countless and everyone makes them differently.
Wish I could help but I'm not of Indian descent.
Sallyfifth@reddit
Thanks from me as well!
_bibliofille@reddit
That's enough information for me. Thank you!
huazzy@reddit
I'll ask on your behalf and get back to you.
StormFallen9@reddit
Yeah turkey isn't my favorite so I'm always glad when there's ham, and I hate cooked pies so when there's a chocolate pie as well then it's a good year
Crazycatlover@reddit
I prefer duck and/or Cornish game hens depending on how many will be there myself.
Dmbender@reddit
Half of my family is Puerto Rican so on top of all the staples we also get Tamales, Pasteles, and sometimes some Empanadas as well. It's pretty awesome lol
Playful-Wallaby4097@reddit
Definitely this; my family does tamales, and dressing and ham, but no turkey and almost never cranberry.
Vegetable_Feature662@reddit
This is the key ⬆️
As with any question here, the answer is always we are a huge country with lots of people and different ways of doing things. My sister and her kids were in Italy for about a decade when the children were young and found it difficult to find turkey for Thanksgiving. Therefore, most years they would do one or more roast chickens.
I would say the important thing is not what you serve, but that you and the people that you are close to come together. It’s nice if you express gratitude and, if you have the ability to do so, stuff yourself full of food. In my family, it’s also important to do something for others on this day. From this American’s perspective, those are the key elements of Thanksgiving.
mburucuja@reddit
I think the main must-have is turkey, and virtually always stuffing/dressing. A lot of the sides vary by region and heritage. In my family, it’s some sort of potato (usually mashed), some sort of sweet potato (usually roasted or casserole), homemade cranberry sauce, rolls and butter, stuffing, and a vegetable dish or two, often green bean casserole and corn. Sometimes there are other things like roasted veggies, broccoli casserole, homemade macaroni and cheese, etc. Pie is the main dessert: pumpkin, pecan, apple, and sweet potato are probably the most common, often served with whipped cream and/or vanilla ice cream. There really aren’t any special, traditional drinks.
It’s generally just about being thankful and spending time with family. Some people don’t celebrate it because of the horrible history of how indigenous Americans were treated by the settlers.
It’s a whole holiday, not just a meal. There are always football games on thanksgiving in the afternoon and evening that lots of people watch, and some people also watch the Macy’s parade in the morning. There are often people around for hours (or days, if they had to travel) before/after the actual meal.
chriswaco@reddit
I'll throw in that you should watch an American football game too, preferably The Detroit Lions but Dallas is also acceptable.
SorbetTypical5943@reddit
What do you mean by donor? Like sperm donor? Egg donor? I feel like it’s sending mixed messages to call their biological mother or father a “donor” “but then try to honor their cultural heritage.
Corner_Office_@reddit
We don’t give thanks to the Native Americans, rather we recognize their assistance in keeping the settlers alive that first winter.
Here’s a prayer:
Dear God, as we gather today, we give You thanks. Not only for what we see, but for all the unseen ways You've cared for us this year.
In moments of joy and in seasons of challenge, You have been with us. Your grace has carried us farther than we could have gone alone.
We're grateful for laughter around the table, for the hands that prepared this meal, and for the love that fills this room.
And, Lord, we lift up those who are hurting today; those walking through loss, loneliness, or hardship.
Please draw near to the ones who can't be with family, to those facing persecution, and to all who need Your comfort and peace. May they feel Your presence and know they are deeply loved by You.
Lord, help us to keep thankful hearts beyond today, to remember Your goodness in every season and circumstance. May our lives be living prayers of gratitude to You, through Christ Jesus our Lord.
undreamedgore@reddit
Fun question. There are many approaches to Thanksgiving, but some key notes: We absolutely don't give thanks to Natives. Though my family is from rural south Dakota originally and almost certainly has some complicated opinions on the Sioux. So...
For food: A large main meat dish. Turkey is most traditional, but Ham is common too. Further, if you or a family member hunt that's more than acceptable to use. Especially if you dress it yourself for the meal.
Sides: Usually more potluck, but mash potatoes are exceptionally common. As are some varriant of cranberries. A pre/post dish for when people are hanging out, usually a cheese and meat platter. Salad Marshmallow "Salad" - (Who actually likes this?) Green beans Bread (usually a sweeter bread)
Dessert: Pie, especially pumpkin is traditional and common. Sometimes served with vanilla ice cream. Apple pie should be served with a slice of cheddar cheese (trust me, it's good)
Drinks: Just don't be sober by 4. Usually an occasion for harder beverages, but beer post dinner is common. Otherwise water.
Non-food practices: Ultimately this is used as a family get together. That's the core of it. Traveling states to see distant family, talking, and spending time together. Some make a big deal about who cuts the meat, seen as a role for the "head of thr household" - bit outdated Complain that it's cold
breebop83@reddit
A lot of good suggestions here but you might also want to post over on the Thanksgiving sub. I don’t know how active it is this time of year but even browsing past posts might give you some good ideas.
Brennisth@reddit
Thanksgiving is fundamentally about having the foods that are special to your family, with the people special to your family. "Friends giving" has spawned out of it for more of a pot luck style get together for casual friends, typically 20s/30s with no kids, but there are no rules. The "lore" is of pilgrims (the initial European settlers) and native americans celebrating their first harvest meal together, but is somewhat controversial now. When I hosted thanksgiving for foreign students who couldn't go back for the holidays, we'd do "traditional" American foods (turkey, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, candied yam casserole) AND then I'd have each of their mom's send me a recipe from THEIR home. So we'd have vindaloo, and latkes, and goulash, and shepherd's pie, etc depending on who was coming over that year. It's fundamentally a celebration of two cultures mingling for the first time, gratitude for new experiences and perspectives, and thankfulness for survival--food, shelter, etc--and those who enable it (whether that be family, God, or friends).
Sharontoo@reddit
Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, sweet potato pudding, buttered corn, stuffing/dressing, rolls, pumpkin and apple pies.
Cinisajoy2@reddit
If I was your guest, I would want a meal native to your country. I can get a traditional dinner here anytime.
Dangerous-Safe-4336@reddit
The point to the turkey is that it's a cheap way to feed a lot of people. If you really want to do an American Thanksgiving, you have to invite all the relatives. How many depends on the family, but we always had 20 or more, with grandparents, cousins, etc. I always thought we were being thankful that we're all still here. Maybe a little talk about the relatives who have died. "Great-grandma would have loved this." Dinner is earlier than normal, maybe 3 or 4, so the kids have time to burn off the excess calories outside before dark. In my family, after dinner the men would play cards (not for money).
People who are estranged from their families often do something much smaller, or eat out.
People who can afford it, or want to show off, might serve more expensive meat.
This pretty much lasts until the guests are tired and go home.
Mundane_Wombat_2446@reddit
My family makes wild rice every year for Thanksgiving. Wild rice is not a true rice, but an aquatic grass seed that has been harvested by Native Americans in the north-central US and in Canada for centuries. I purchase my rice from native tribal sellers, costs more, but it’s part of my family’s traditional gratitude; it’s a tiny thanks I give yearly to those whose land and traditions were stolen.
risumi@reddit
This is sweet.
Every region has slightly different dishes. I'm from the northeastern US. Normal dishes for us involve: Turkey - no seasoning but brushed with olive oil Stuffing Gravy Mashed potatoes Corn Dinner rolls Baked beans - my daughter loves these so we started making them Sweet potatoes Deviled eggs
For desert it's normally pumpkin pie,cookies or a berry cobbler.
Drinks are normally tea, punch, water or apple cider.
We either watch TV afterwards and talk. My family isn't into sports so we don't watch football.
We do a thing call friendsgiving too. We invite friends to have Thanksgiving with us instead of only family. Everyone brought a covered dish(sides and desert) I cooked the main dish of turkey with stuffing. We all ate and played board games.
Normally I will have a friendsgiving a week before or after Thanksgiving. So on the day of Thanksgiving people can enjoy family time, then hang out with friends later. It's a great way to catch up with people.
Snarky75@reddit
What do you mean your Son's Donor???
quitealargeorangecat@reddit
Sperm donor, probably.
Streamjumper@reddit
It sounds like they adopted, and Donor could be a neutral term for either bio parent or foster parent (depending on the age and situation).
Danibear285@reddit
Test tube baby
MattieShoes@reddit
Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie. Lots of families have their own weird dish that comes out specifically on Thanksgiving. Macaroni and cheese seems particularly popular with black people on Thanksgiving. My grandmother would make weird Jello desserts like prism cake. Pecan pies are also very common. Some families don't like turkey, so they may substitute ham. It's not the traditional, but there's enough turkey-haters out there that it's not uncommon either. Smoked turkey is pretty amazing too.
Sometimes it's kind of pot-luck -- the host makes the Turkey and maybe a couple other dishes, and guests make their own special dish and add it to the (MASSIVE) glut of food.
I don't think there's really any tradition tied to what you drink, but alcohol is normal. It's November, so for kids, apple cider is a thing. Egg Nog is usually Christmas rather than Thanskgiving. There are usually fall-themed beers around. And this is specifically a me/my family thing, but I associate Duchesse_de_Bourgogne with Thanksgiving and Christmas. It's a pricey cherry sour beer from Belgium.
Little kids often have themed art projects from school like cutouts of their hand decorated like a turkey. And you can buy random Thanksgiving-themed decorations, but it's perfectly normal to not have any decoration tied specifically to Thanksgiving... But if there are fall-themed decorations, they're usually out.
The things I tend to associate with them is gathering of family, busting out the big table so a very large group sits together, usually a nice tablecloth on the table, then a whole bunch of food dishes on the table.
May depend on family. If there's little kids around, they usually learn about the Native American connection. If there aren't, it doesn't really come up. Giving thanks generally is common -- prayer in religious families, some make everybody list something they're especially thankful for this year, etc.
Usually Thanksgiving dinner is early, almost a late lunch. People hang out afterwards, and they may have leftovers, or take leftovers home because there's usually WAY too much food.
Bluemonogi@reddit
My family would expect to have turkey, gravy, a bread stuffing/dressing, mashed potatoes, bread rolls, asparagus, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie with whipped cream. Deviled eggs are common.
Green bean casserole, sweet potatoes or corn are also common. Some families might have macaroni and cheese or other side dishes. There are other desserts than just pumpkin pie. Some people dislike turkey so have a different main dish.
There is not a specific Thanksgiving drink. Whatever you like to drink with a meal is fine. Water, wine, soda, etc.
Verbally saying what you are thankful for is something some people do but others do not. It is more like thanking god for your blessings or bounty. It has nothing to do with thanking Native Americans. My family never went around praying or saying what we were thankful for.
Thanksgiving is generally just a get together with extended family or friends with a big meal. People hang out before and after the meal- sometimes all day. Often people have travelled across the country to be with their family for Thanksgiving so are staying more than a few hours. Sometimes people watch parades on tv, movies or football. Whatever your family likes to do when you gather together is fine.
The timing for the Thanksgiving meal varies. It might be midday or mid afternoon or in the evening. It can take awhile to cook everything. Some family or friend groups do it more potluck style with different people bringing different dishes and the host providing just the turkey.
In my family it is common to have leftover pumpkin pie for breakfast the next day.
Friendly_Side3258@reddit
My favs are sweet potato casserole with marshmallows on top and green bean casserole! My family isn’t into turkey as much, so we do ham with pineapple
Streamjumper@reddit
If I'm not asking too much, what country are you from? This may help with suggesting alternatives readily available to you locally or mentioning if a food item might be troublesome due to dietary customs there.
It can also give a frame of reference to help us make something more relatable.
getElephantById@reddit
Give thanks for good things in your life, whatever that means to you.
Too much variety to generalize. At our house, Martinelli's Sparkling Cider was the official drink of the kids table, I can tell you that.
earmares@reddit
Not everyone likes turkey - no one at our house does, so we usually have lasagna or similar.
Streamjumper@reddit
I know a lot of people offer ham or a roast when a lot of guests don't like turkey.
Danibear285@reddit
Where’s his father??? A boy should know his father especially at Thanksgiving
Danibear285@reddit
Have you considered maybe just waiting until they’re older to visit said foreign country?
msklovesmath@reddit
Op, I saw your comment that your son is "donor-conceived."
While I dont know all the details of what that could mean, im curious why celebrating Thanksgiving is necessary, as a result. While the holiday is uniquely American, it is also a large propaganda piece. Many of us grew up with a sanitized, white-washed version/understanding.
An alternative that many people do is to celebrate harvest, since that would be the end of the growing season. Pick whatever foods are in season in your location and make a nice meal. You can be thankful any time you want, you don't need to replicate the whole narrative.
Fuckspez42@reddit
Turkey, stuffing, gravy, and mashed potatoes. The rest is pretty flexible, but will frequently include green bean casserole (a personal favorite), cranberry sauce (skippable, IMO), and pumpkin pie.
That-Molasses9346@reddit
Roast Turkey, Turkey Stuffing or Dressing whichever you prefer, Cranberry Sauce, Mashed Potatoes, Candied Yams
Are considered traditional. But every family has something usually unique to them to add as well.
Stuffed pumpkins Roasted brussel sprouts Broccoli with cheese sauce For example from my table
ButterscotchOdd8257@reddit
Roast whole turkey with stuffing inside (look up directions to cook safely without food poisoning), and side dishes such as mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce and dinner rolls. Make gravy with the meat drippings and put it over the potatoes on each plate. Drink what you like. Pecan and pumpkin pies are traditional desserts.
Guests may bring a dish sometimes, and it may even be a "potluck" where everyone brings something they arrange in advance to make a complete feast.
Some people go around the table for each person to say what they are thankful for. Some say grace with a prayer too. Some just eat.
Yes, stay and chat after. There is often a football game on TV to watch while you digest all that food.
Decorations aren't necessary. One fun thing kids do sometimes is draw an outline of their hand on paper and then draw a turkey over it, with the thumb as the head and fingers as feathers.
It's nice that you are doing this!
SirTwitchALot@reddit
Big homecooked meal. Like ridiculous quantities of food. So much food that it's an affront to all that is holy. Invite all your most distant relatives. Bonus points if they fight about politics
XANDERtheSHEEPDOG@reddit
🤣😂🤣😂🤣
I know you are being facetious, but that describes our Thanksgiving rather well. We invite relatives that we only see once a year, on Thanksgiving. It inevitably devolves into an argument about politics over 6 kinds of pie. Last year, my uncle got drunk and took a swing at his brother in law. Instead of calling the cops, he ended up taped to a chair.
Janeiac1@reddit
I’m sorry, but taped to a chair is kind of funny 😆. I can picture the whole scene.
XANDERtheSHEEPDOG@reddit
It's a really big family. His brothers love him, but they don't let each other get away with much bullshit. That includes taking swings at the in-laws. It's not the first time the boys have gotten creative... it probably won't be the last either. Everyone was fine and was friends again by the next morning.
Janeiac1@reddit
That’s why it’s funny. No real harm. Nobody can fight like brothers!
bass679@reddit
Okay there's a lot of sarcasm in this one but it's actually pretty on point. Thanksgiving is specifically a holiday where the holiday is itself the purpose. You aren't celebrating anything except your thanks for what you have. that means enough food that everyone is burdened with leftovers and spending time with as many of your relatives as you can manage.
PistachioNova@reddit
Here you go. There must be turkey and at least one type of pie, beyond that you may select whatever sides seem good to you.
Riker_Omega_Three@reddit
Thanksgiving is not about specific traditions
It's different for every family
Thanksgiving is just a big meal where everyone gets together and puts aside all the drama from the previous year and just has a good time together
Turkey, dressing, ham, mac and cheese, dinner rolls...these are common thanksgiving foods
But it's different for every family
I wouldn't suggest doing turkey. It's really difficult to do right because of how easy it is to dry out.
For my family, we've entirely moved away from the traditional meal
We do Thanksgiving brunch. It's all breakfast foods. Ham, bacon, grits, gravy, biscuits, waffles, pancakes, hashbrown casserole etc etc
And we drink mimosas and just relax...spending time with one another, watching sports, and do our best to keep our phones put away so we are in the moment
miketugboat@reddit
It's an all day affair, the meal is always later than the host says it will be. Afterwards we all kinda layabout around the TV and watch football, the parade, or a movie for a few hours.
For drinks, American light beers, American sodas (root beer, coke, cheerwine, whatever the kids like really)
America is culturally diverse and anytime we have non American guests we encourage them to bring a dish from their culture. But for the most part gotta have new world produce/meat. Corn, potato, turkey, tomato, green beans, peppers, squash, pumpkin and blueberries. The last two are really just for the pies, usually someone makes a couple different pies, pumpkin always, then maybe blueberry, sweet potato, or pecan.
As far as saying thanks go... sometimes we get around the table and say what we are thankful for that year. Usually not. It's just nice to get the family together and catch up.
tcrhs@reddit
I’m Southern. My typical traditional meal includes a fried turkey, my grandmother’s Southern dressing recipe, fried okra, mashed potatoes (with gravy on the side), macaroni and cheese, sweet potato casserole, and crack green beans. I do different desserts each year, usually a cake or a pie.
We drink sweet tea, water, coke, Diet Coke, or a glass of wine.
TenMoon@reddit
If you make a turkey, and I hope you do, go to YouTube and watch how to spatchcock a turkey. It will cut roasting time to a fraction. For example, a 14 pound turkey without stuffing takes 3 to 3.5 hours, but if that same bird is spatchcocked, then only 1.5 to 2 hours.
IPreferDiamonds@reddit
Thanksgiving is in November.
Key_Maintenance_8308@reddit
I have two donor-conceived kids myself. Congratulations on your little one!
Many people here have given you good ideas. I agree that the main point behind Thanksgiving is the togetherness and being thankful for friends, family, health, etc. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls, sweet potato casserole, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie are among the traditional foods usually served, but as others have said, the main point is the gathering and being thankful. You can either cook at home or go to a restaurant, though if you're trying to eat the "traditional" Thanksgiving foods in a country that isn't the US, I'm guessing you'll need to cook at home. In the US, many restaurants serve the traditional foods on Thanksgiving. My family is mostly vegetarians and we prefer the side dishes anyway, so we just make a whole meal of side dishes such as green bean casserole, cheesy potato casserole, corn casserole, rolls, etc. Midwesterners really like casseroles at large family gatherings, lol!
CeramicKnight@reddit
Often people will bring a side dish to a Thanksgiving dinner, to help share the load of cooking and to share the foods they love.
There’s less specific drinks than there are foods; people generally drink what they enjoy. It’s a special occasion so adults often drink wine or sometimes champagne, and because of that kids will sometimes have sparkling apple cider.
The most common traditional foods are - roast turkey - stuffing or dressing - mashed potatoes - gravy, usually turkey - cranberry sauce - some kind of vegetable, often in a casserole - pie(s) for desert
But a big part of Thanksgiving is making it your own for your family, either your family by blood or your found family.
It’s common to go around the table and each person says something they are thankful for.
Wadsworth_McStumpy@reddit
Every family will have a different tradition, but there's a lot of overlap, so it's fairly easy to have a "traditional" celebration.
All you really NEED is the roast turkey. That's almost universal. Beyond that, you can have ham, mashed potatoes, gravy (made from the turkey giblets or drippings), sweet potatoes (made any of several ways), and any combination of vegetables you like. Pie is also good, with pumpkin being a common one.
Some families have a prayer of thanks before eating, some don't. Some take turns naming something they're thankful for, some don't. There's really no wrong way to go about it.
Some families will play cards, or watch football (American football), or just sit around and talk. Again, no wrong way to do it.
Bulocoo@reddit
Thanksgivng can also be viewed as the end of the American harvest because it was and is.
Roast Turkey is the prime meat. Baked ham is sometimes done in addition. Stuffing of bread and fruit and nuts combined with chicken stock is the primary carb.
Stuffing can be cooked in the turkey cavity or in a dush like a casserole. I do both as a cassetole will come out a lot dryer and some prefer that.
Yams are the quintessential veg. String beans and corn are also a staple.
Then desert is primarily a pumpkin and or apple pie. Often cherry is added.
Lots of regional and family variations but that is pretty much the menu when I prepare Thanksgiving dinner.
No special drinks and decorations are often paper cut outs napkins and so on with fall colors and turkey motifs.
No special drinks that I know of.
sneezhousing@reddit
Please don't. You won't do it right and your guest will not understand
Gail_the_SLP@reddit
There’s no way to do Thanksgiving “wrong”. Just try and have fun with it. I think if you do a little research and put a note with each dish, your guests would be fine with it. And there’s no requirement that you cook only the traditional dishes. Every family serve their own special additions, usually based on their heritage. My German-American mother-in-law made a noodle gravy based on spaetzle. She’s passed on now but I still make noodle gravy every year. Many of my Mexican American friends make tamales, and my Filipino American friends make lumpia.
SmallBeanKatherine@reddit
Other families may be different, but we generally say something we are thankful for in our own lives--- like our home, our family members, our pets, our opportunities, or the food on the table. It's about stepping back and appreciating things.
Foods tend to include roasted turkey, gravy, stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and green beans. Pumpkin pie or pecan pie are common desserts.
alaskawolfjoe@reddit
Thanksgiving is a harvest feast. Turkey is not just about the family, but about the community. It’s hard to make a turkey. So you ask everyone at work how they keep their turkey from being too dry. What they put in their stuffing.
Thanksgiving is as much about talking to other people about Thanksgiving as it is the feast itself
So your question here, is exactly on the Mark!
alaskawolfjoe@reddit
Thanksgiving decorations are usually in public places like schools. Thanksgiving is not like Christmas where people put up trees, etc..
Apart_Insect_8859@reddit
Thanks are general. It's basically a harvest festival. You're expressing gratitude for your family, how well the year has gone, the things you have, and stating a hope that those will continue and improve for the next year.
Some families go around the table and each person says something they are thankful for before eating, but not everyone does this and there are no other formal expressions of gratitude built into the holiday.
It IS a popular holiday for families to do volunteer work, especially in food pantries or soup kitchens, and a means of expressing their gratitude.
Some families also like to participate in athletic activities, to counter eating so much. This is usually in the form of games on the lawn with family, playing football on the lawn with family, going on a hike, or participating in a 5k run (usually called a "Turkey Trot")
ConstructionOk4996@reddit
There isn't really a Thanksgiving specific drink in America. Soda/soft drinks/fizzy drinks would be good as well as iced tea (recipes available online). Coffee and water also.
We give thanks for what is good in our lives; good health, family, friends, etc. Although the idea of thanking the indigenous peoples of the land is an excellent choice.
Honest_Swim7195@reddit
So, others have said ungodly amounts of food. This is a mainstay of traditional Thanksgiving, but scale is important. If you have lots of people, have lots of dishes as described and bigger turkey or another meat (like ham). If just you and your son, a small turkey or chicken or ham and just a few sides. You pick which of the sides based on preference.
My go to meal, in order of how critical I consider them: Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy (traditional giblet gravy is my favorite), sweet potatoes (mashed or casserole, but marshmallows must always be involved), stuffing (my family has always made as a separate dish, not by stuffing the turkey), cranberry sauce, green beans (casserole if you must, but I hate it), corn, pickle tray, veggie tray (trays are to stave off the hungry until the full meal is ready)
Then there’s the desserts (arguably the most important part), again in order of importance: Pumpkin pie Pecan pie Apple pie Chocolate pie Lemon merengue pie Cherry pie Peach cobbler All may be served with whipped cream
The point is to be thankful in general of all that life has given you, no matter how simple or extravagant. In other words, a perfect way to celebrate your son.
The full celebration is an all day event. Be prepared with entertainment before eating and lots of sleepy people after eating so put on a sports game on TV or a favorite movie. And let them eat until their clothes don’t fit anymore.
No-Lunch4249@reddit
I'm going to offer an answer on a bit of a different tack: the core idea of Thanskgiving (ignoring the bad history) is to be together with family, have a large feast of foods traditional to your culture with some wildcard dishes unique/special to your family, and of course to be thankful for what you have in your life (like a family and a big feast).
So I would say you should cook feasting foods for what your culture likes.
If you want to throw in a few american classics though: A whole Turkey (or chicken for smaller families) and Mashed Potatoes are the two things that pretty much everyone has on the Thanksgiving table regardless of anything else
bass679@reddit
I would say if you have turkey or chicken, some kind of stuffing is almost going to be mandatory.
No-Lunch4249@reddit
Good add! I knew I was missing one of the biggest staples, tip of my tongue type thing
Radar1980@reddit
Gonna get myself downvoted but….Pretty much everything average Americans will tell you about the holiday is based on a lie perpetuated by insurance company murals and marketeers.
The intent of the holiday is in the name. It’s a day to be thankful for the people and things in your life. That’s it. Eat what you want, do what you want, but express gratitude towards each other.
Apart_Insect_8859@reddit
Traditional alternatives to the entire turkey:
Remarkable_Ship_4673@reddit
Thanks giving is just a feast that you have friends and family over
Foods like Turkey, Ham, mashed Potatoes, green bean casserole, and stuffing are common
Kteefish@reddit
You're going to need a turkey to roast. Other than that traditions/menus can vary wildly. Unfortunately we don't give thanks to Native American, although it is kinda insinuated in the "First Thanksgiving" story we are taught as very small children, that we should. It's more of an overall "BE thankful" for all of your blessings that year.
Thanksgiving is a holiday that many people will travel for hours to get to. Driving for hours, even flying, to be with their family for the day /meal. Thanksgiving is one of the busiest travel times of the year as people "go home" to their hometown/parents. Extended family is included alot of times. Some families only see each other at Thanksgiving some years.
I am in the NE US and I can only speak for my own family, but our menu doesn't vary too much year to year. We have : Roast turkey w/gravy Mashed potatoes Sweet potatoes (not everyone likes the sweet potatoes so I make the two types just to accommodate my picky family members) Green bean and French's onion casserole Cranberry sause Corn or peas Homemade macaroni and cheese Dinner rolls Dessert - pumpkin pie and minced meat pie are very traditional but we usually have apple as well and cookies for the children. Beverages - I offer the same selection I would for any other dinner, milk, coffee, tea, juice, etc. But apple cider and tomato juice are traditionally autumn drinks so I will always have those available as well.
We don't really decorate for Thanksgiving, but some people do. Younger children will inevitably bring a hand - turkey, maybe a pilgrim or cornucopia home from school, so, obviously, we display those, but most people don't deck the house out like they might for Christmas with the lights and Santa's, reindeer and elves and such.
I hope this helps. I think it's awesome that you are doing this and I hope it goes well for you.
The most important thing is spending time with people you are thankful for, the rest is preference and familial traditions (except for the turkey, that is the only "must have", Imho.)
Good luck!
One_Recover_673@reddit
Turkey is the star of the show. Turkeys are also used as decorations and every child has made hand turkeys with construction paper (trace hand, thumb is the head- you can google).
Search for traditional sides bc everyone has their favorite from sweet potato pie to collards to baked Mac and cheese. Gravy and cranberry sauce.
Different parts of the US have different sides…but turkey everywhere
ionmoon@reddit
Yes!! Definitely make a hand turkey
ionmoon@reddit
We have:
Turkey if you eat meat (I don’t)
Cranberry sauce Stuffing Gravy (I make mushroom) Mashed potatoes Rolls with butter Candied yams A green veggie (usually green beans-often it’s a green bean casserole) Maybe corn (not from the cob- just canned or frozen)
Dessert: pumpkin pie and chocolate cream pie and whipped cream (for me it’s Cool whip even though the rest of the year I prefer real whipped cream
We always have pop/soda. Used to always have tom Tucker mint ginger ale but it’s no longer being made waaah.
We eat early and the day is spent cooking and socializing and playing board games. There’s usually (always?) a football game on tv and some people will watch that. Everyone stays and cleans up.
Meant to be an all day affair but some people have multiple families to visit with and leave earlier.
The “thanks” is meant to be to god. For me it’s thankfulness for my family good health etc
We used to play up the “Indians and pilgrims” thing but now we’ve distanced ourselves from all that (as a country and family IME)
artskoo@reddit
Thanksgiving is not really an honorable part of American culture.
feliniaCR@reddit
A fairly standard Thanksgiving meal will include a roast Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and cranberry sauce.
There are no set drinks that are common across the US.
There are no set decorations, although elementary school children will often have a Turkey drawing that they made the prior week in school.
Sadly, Americans don’t typically give thanks to Native Americans. However, many (but not all) families do go around the table with each person saying one thing they’re thankful for.
In some households, people will watch or play American football at some point in the day as well.
Donald_J_Duck65@reddit
You have to serve venison and drink ale.
spike31875@reddit
Not to pile on, but what is a "donor" in this context?
Some of the typical Thanksgiving items will be hard to get in other countries, but the essentials are these:
I don't know how easy it will be to find cranberry sauce abroad, but maybe you could find a canned version in the "US food" section of your local grocery store?
Not everyone does the typical thing though: roasting a whole turkey takes a long time & is easy to mess up. Plus, it feeds a TON of people (even a small 10 pound turkey will feed 6 people or more). So it's not practical for smaller family groups of just 2 or 3 people. So, do roast beef, ham or fish or chicken instead?
We're down to just the three of us now, so we didn't do the roast turkey thing for Thanksgiving last year: we went to an all you get eat sushi place. It was delicious.
In the US, Japanese & Chinese restaurants tend to be open on the 2 major holidays: Thanksgiving & Christmas. So, it's a tradition among some families to go out for Asian food on those days.
mesembryanthemum@reddit
Eat turkey, corn, mashed potaties, salad and then veg out with pie while,watching football.
0le_Hickory@reddit
The only way to celebrate is to eat so much you feel sleepy and then ask your argumentative uncle a question about Trump or Hillary.
DiscontentDonut@reddit
TheConceitedSister@reddit
At least once pie, preferably two, because one has to be pumpkin. And the other can be apple, blueberry, or mincemeat.
mytthewstew@reddit
The great thing about American thanksgiving is you sit around and eat and enjoy each other’s company without any other obligations. So the food is basically comfort food. 1. The main course is usually turkey. 2. Stuffing or dressing is required. This is basically bread with butter and spices baked. People often add sausage or oysters. The important part is my mom’s stuffing is the best. 3. Potato traditional is mashed potatoes. Sweet potato is a reasonably good alternative. 4. An overcooked green vegetable like peas or beans.
Maryland_Bear@reddit
Turkey is probably the only dish that’s a custom in a large number of families. It’s usually served with stuffing (cooked inside the bird) or dressing (cooked separately).
Mashed potatoes are common, as is some form of gravy. Sweet potatoes are also common — my aunt makes them with pecans, brown sugar, and pineapple, and it’s delicious. (Many people top them with miniature marshmallows, but I personally view that as ~~an abomination unto the Lord~~ unappetizing.)
A lot of families will have some vegetable-based dish, like French’s Green Bean Casserole. My mom used to make a casserole of broccoli, rice, and Cheez Whiz that I love, but she’s getting old and doesn’t cook much now.
Pies for dessert are popular, especially pecan, pumpkin and apple. We have a family secret recipe for apple pie that our maternal grandmother invented. I asked Mom once if I could share it in a community cookbook and she would not let me. I’ve told her she needs to teach it to her granddaughter who likes baking.
As for drinks, in my family, it’s iced sweet tea (we’re southerners, we’d drink iced tea during a blizzard) and an assortment of sodas. (I just drink ice water; that’s all I ever drink.) My family largely abstains from alcohol, but many people will have wine for the adults.
It’s not really a holiday for decorations, not like Halloween or Christmas. Something with fall colors is appropriate.
I’m curious, though — what do you mean by your son’s “donor”? Is that as in “sperm donor” or is there another meaning?
OwlCatAlex@reddit
Thanksgiving traditions vary a bit across regions, socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds, and specific families, but usually the common factors are a roasted turkey with a large variety of side dishes such as mashed potatoes, "dressing" or "stuffing" (a Thanksgiving specific dish consisting of bread crumbs, butter, various minced vegetables, and often a bit of the turkey's organ meat/scraps/juices, baked together into a glass dish), cornbread, green beans or green bean casserole, sweet potato casserole, candied yams, American style white or brown gravy, cranberry sauce, soft bread rolls, glazed ham, or macaroni and cheese. Dessert usually consists of a couple of pie options, most often pumpkin, apple, pecan, and/or sweet potato, since those feature ingredients that are harvested in autumn. Besides eating food, activities mostly involve simply chatting with family members you haven't been able to visit in a long time, stating what things you are thankful for, and (honestly) watching football on TV and arguing about politics 😂
Altaira99@reddit
Turkey, stuffing (there are four thousand recipes for stuffing and people are passionate about their traditions, fortunately you can just pick one that sounds good) mashed potatoes, some form of cranberry sauce. Vegetable sides are important: classic is green bean casserole (if you use fresh green beans and make your own sauce it's pretty good). My family liked succotash, frozen corn and baby lima beans cooked with butter and cream. My grandmother made a pecan and cream cheese gelatin salad, but they are not common any more. Decorations would be turkeys, autumn leaves, corn stooks, pumpkins, anything fall related. Have fun.
DogOrDonut@reddit
The basics that are universal to Thanksgiving across America are turkey, gravy, stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn, rolls of some form, and cranberry sauce (there is a fierce debate between fresh or the canned jelly, personally I love the canned jelly). Regional dishes people may or may not have included mac & cheese, sweet potatoe casserole, green bean casserole, collard greens, glazed carrots, roasted squash, and cornbread. No one will have ALL the regional dishes, they're like your family's flair piece. For dessert most people have pumpkin, pecan, or apple based desserts. Pies are the most common but not the only option.
The host makes the turkey/gravy but often times other guests will bring the sides.
While Thanksgiving is advertised as a, "dinner," it is eaten at like 2 pm for some reason.
Many people travel for Thanksgiving and may stay with relatives for multiple days (Wednesday-Sunday being the most common). Even if your family is local it is generally an all day affair. Sometimes people have to go to multiple Thansgivings in 1 day so they will only stop for a few hours but it isn't unusual for local guests to start showing up at 10 am and leave at 11 pm.
There is football on all day and that's what is on the TV.
themistycrystal@reddit
We have turkey, corn bread dressing, rolls, and mashed potatoes. Other side dishes vary from year to year.
GingerMarquis@reddit
Roasted turkey is the main dish. Sides will include potatoes, cranberries, stuffing, green bean casserole, bread rolls, etc… It is customizable so it can be whatever fits well with your country and customs as well. My family focuses on meat and potatoes while others do more vegetables or things like that.
The big thing about thanksgiving is it comes from a place when one group didn’t have much. And they were so grateful that other people helped them in such a dire time of need. Had the Native Americans not helped the pilgrims, they would have starved over the winter or frozen to death. That’s why you go around the table and tell everyone what you are grateful for having in your life. Historically autumn is a time when food becomes more scarce as the seasons change so community becomes more important as you bond over those times.
Last year my family had two deaths and almost a third. We were all grateful for another year with so many of us still around and for the memories we have of the loved ones that passed away. It’s a time to reflect on your blessings and show that appreciation for the people who were there for you.
cmhoughton@reddit
As others have said, there are no rules. It’s a time to come together with family and friends to show thanks for what you have together. You might be grateful that your son is in your life and celebrate and be thankful he’s in your life.
The food doesn’t really matter, it varies based on a variety of factors. However, turkey made with bread stuffing, mashed potatoes (or maybe sweet potatoes or yams instead), fresh bread, green beans, and some kind of pie are some of the traditional items. I prefer pumpkin pie, others like apple or pecan…
OrcaFins@reddit
Typically, you say what you are thankful for; for example: family (special individuals perhaps), friends, good health, good fortune, recovery from illness, new job or promotion (or just a good steady job)... Anything YOU feel thankful for. Anything, your cat, your neighbor... whatever you are willing to tell everyone.
No_Engineering_718@reddit
Thanksgiving foods can be regional such as macaroni and cheese in the South. But “ Sam the cooking guy” on YouTube has some good thanksgiving day meals videos. All everybody usually hangs out for a few hours and watch football or just visit with one another
Holiday_Speaker6410@reddit
reddit could really get down to the nitty gritty if you told us what region (northeast, southeast, etc.) His from lol
competenthurricane@reddit
A lot of this depends where in the US as there’s a lot of regional differences. But big Thanksgiving traditions that are pretty universal:
Food: Turkey is a must have as the main dish. Some common side dishes are stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, corn, dinner rolls, green beans.
Drink: There’s not really any specific Thanksgiving drinks, just drink what you normally would for a family gathering. Wine is common for adults.
Desserts: Pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and apple pie are common. Any dessert can be eaten though (I always make banana bread for thanksgiving).
Often with Thanksgiving one person will host and guests will bring a side or a dessert or a bottle of wine or something. So there’s a lot of food but it’s not one person making every single thing.
In my experience people stay after and talk, drink, maybe play card games or other party games. Usually Thanksgiving dinner is served pretty early in the day and the gathering extends into the evening.
gleaming-the-cubicle@reddit
I haven't seen green bean casserole
Personally can't stand the stuff but I've never been to a Thanksgiving without it
And the guests do stay after the meal, partially to digest enough dinner to eat pumpkin pie but manly to chat. Frequently people will go around the table and say what they're thankful for that year
Outlaw_Josie_Snails@reddit
The Centerpiece: A whole roasted turkey. It is often basted with butter and herbs.
Stuffing (or "Dressing")
Mashed Potatoes & Gravy
Green Bean Casserole
Dessert: Pumpkin Pie with whipped cream is traditional. Apple pie or Pecan pie are the standard backups. (I prefer apple)
Drinks: Sparkling apple cider (like Martinelli’s) is the classic "celebration" drink for all ages. For a specialty soft drink, look for A&W Root Beer or Dr. Pepper from an importer.
Alcoholic: A crisp white wine (like Riesling) or a light red (like Pinot Noir) pairs best with turkey. Many also serve local craft beers or hard apple cider.
Mental_Freedom_1648@reddit
Guests stay after dinner and often watch American football. Turkey, Sweet potatoes (often Sweet potato casserole), cornmeal or bread based dressing, green bean casserole and cranberry sauce are standard.
Rogers_Razor@reddit
Turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce (usually from a can), sweet potato casserole,and pumpkin pie are the "classic" Thanksgiving foods. Of course, every family is different. I don't make the sweet potato casserole for instance.
As for giving thanks, if done at all, it's an "in general" thing.
LangokiAgain@reddit
Donor?
Must-have dishes can vary by region/ethnic heritage. For me, baked mac and cheese is a must. Thanks is general. It's really a family thing, so guests tend to do whatever works for them re: leaving or lingering. It's really just a meal.