Please tell me I’m not the only one who avoids phone calls in another language
Posted by Edi-Iz@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 56 comments
I can deal with awkward in-person conversations way better than phone calls.
But for some reason, the second I have to call someone in another language, my confidence completely disappears
No facial expressions.
No gestures.
No visual clues.
Just pure panic and hoping I understood what they said.
I’ve literally delayed simple things just because I didn’t want to make the call.
Please tell me I’m not the only one
No-Pea-8967@reddit
I hate phone calls in any language but my husband hands me the phone the minute his rings. Luckily, the country we are in uses WhatsApp extensively for everything so you just have to ask the person on the phone to use WhatsApp and hang up then they text you
meuh32@reddit
Same! I have been in Australia for 10y and still absolutely hate the phone. In person -no problems. But over the phone....the connection is often very patchy so I sometimes find it hard to understand people and get understood
McDuchess@reddit
I’m getting better, afte 2 and a half years here. I practice what I want to say, and that helps. If they speak too fast for me, I ask them to repeat it, and they usually slow down.
Two days ago I made a reservation for Sunday lunch on Easter. The lady spole really quickly, and I missed some of it. But I did catch the “a fuori” and “dentro”.
So I figured out that she was telling me they were full inside and we’d need to eat outside. Which will be great. It’s going to actually be warm for Pasqua.
Meal reservations and carry out pizza are great to practice with, because they’re short conversations that have limited topics, right? Name, date, time, number of people. Maybe your phone number.
But do it enough, and it builds confidence.
Now the one cranky person at my doctor’s office? Nope. Luckily, there is a website where you can put in your information and the prescriptions you need filled, and they let you know right away that they have the I formation and that you can pick up the meds in a few days at any pharmacy in the region.
govnyuuk@reddit
For a long time it was like this, but after 14 years I feel like I can do it pretty well.
winery_bound_expat@reddit
oh man this one hits. i'm still in the US but planning a move to Italy and even my conversation tutor sessions get me anxious when we do phone-only practice. in person you can nod and point and mime your way through a bad verb conjugation but on the phone it's just silence and pure panic. i've been told the real test is calling an Italian government office about visa paperwork and at this point i think i'd rather just fly there and do it in person lol
Capital-Rush-6058@reddit
i'm the same with silent panic on the phone, even though i always keep google translate open on my laptop when i make a call! it really is so much easier in person to mime and explain with hands, that works not only for italian:)
just now i'm dealing with the worst situation for me - trying to rent a flat. i have to call, there's literally no other way... and of course there's always poor signal, interruptions, screams, beeping, music because they're driving, with their kids, or shopping, etc etc. i hate speaking on the phone even in my mothertongue with people i know - precisely because of that! also i hate being interrupted with a call when i'm in the middle of smth - so that adds an additional layer of self-consciousness that i'm interrupting someone.
somebody above said that people speak to them slower when they hear that they're a foreigner - unfortunately that's not the case where i am, nobody's going to slow down for you
winery_bound_expat@reddit
the google translate on the laptop while calling is so real, I do the exact same thing. apartment hunting by phone sounds brutal though, that's like expert mode. good luck with it seriously, I hope you find something without too many phone calls
Capital-Rush-6058@reddit
thank you! having read a lot of ads i grasped the specific lingo, but my language skills outside of that are quite poor🫠
Amazing_Pierogi@reddit
Nie tylko ty, I promise! Phone calls are genuinely harder because you lose every visual cue and the stakes feel higher with no facial expressions to fall back on. The thing that helps most is logging lots of low-stakes spoken practice first, to build the mental muscle before the real calls. I work for Pierogi so I'm biased, but it's a voice conversation partner for Polish. We're pretty new so there's 50% off your first go, hellopierogi.com. Either way, starting with simple scripted calls (ordering a taxi, asking opening hours) is a good gentle on-ramp, spoko.
CantaloupeOk581@reddit
You're not the only one. But You're in another country, so behave as an adult, not a child
JoeLustre@reddit
You are not alone. I have that issue too even after nearly 13 years living in the UK. I do speak and understand English no problem but for some reason I sweat every time I have to call or take a call. I’m pretty sure it’s something I developed during the first few months/years when I did struggle, despite I know it’s not an issue anymore it kind of stayed with me even after so many times over the years when after the call I realised I understood/they understood me absolutely fine.
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
Yeah that makes total sense, it kind of sticks with you even after you improve. Funny how your brain still reacts like it’s a problem even when everything actually goes fine :)
supervanilla@reddit
Well I hate calls even in my mother language so I can totally understand you. I don't receive many calls but I told the place that calls me the most that I usually don't pickup their calls because I get anxious and they said they'll just ring my phone so I know they need to talk to me so I can call them back. I still hate having to call back but at least I can do it in my own time.
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
Yeah I get that :) at least calling back on your own time makes it a bit less stressful, even if it still sucks
danielitrox@reddit
After 5 years, I'm starting to manage phone calls in the local language. Now my biggest fear are the drive-thrus. I prefer to park and go inside the restaurant.
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
Haha yeah drive-thrus are even worse :) everything is fast, noisy, and you can’t ask them to repeat easily
AccountForDoingWORK@reddit
I’m the complete opposite. I refuse to take/accept phone calls in English because (among other reasons) I have auditory processing disorder and I have to pretend like what people are saying has registered, all while missing the important information.
In French, it’s pretty clear pretty quick it’s not my first language so there’s much more grace, slowing down, repetition, etc. My comprehension is pretty good, but I have the same delays as I do in English, and so I don’t mind people assuming I’m just not a particularly fluent French speaker rather than just ‘dumb’.
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
That actually makes a lot of sense. It’s interesting how expectations change things people are way more patient when they know it’s not your first language. In English people just assume you got everything, which makes it way more stressful
bodrumadvisor@reddit
You’re definitely not alone—phone calls in another language feel like a boss fight with no subtitles and terrible audio quality 😅
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
Haha that’s such an accurate way to describe it :) feels like you miss one word and suddenly you’re completely lost
SpaceBetweenNL@reddit
Luckily, in the Netherlands, everyone understands English, and I love speaking English (I'm also fluent in it). My Dutch is also not so bad. So, I'm not scared to call anyone.
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
That’s honestly impressive :) I wish I had that level of confidence with calls, I still overthink them way too much
ericblair21@reddit
In that case, it's the automated menus that get you. At least you can make it repeat itself ten times before you give up and start pushing 0 over and over again.
SpaceBetweenNL@reddit
I understand those automated menus, even though my Dutch is just A2-B1. They also try to make English-speaking menus nowadays.
Objective_Ad_1991@reddit
You are not! I live in my third another-language country and I avoid phone calls as much as possible.
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
Same here :) phone calls are a whole different level, even when you’re comfortable with the language
AllPintsNorth@reddit
Refuse to answer.
But what really gets my goat, is when I send an email and my phone starts ringing immediately. If I wanted to speak on the phone, I would have called you. I didn’t. Answer the fucking email.
Maybe it’s just my host country, but I’m really starting to get the vibe that NO ONE wants anything they say or do in writing. At first I thought it was a silly cultural thing, but the amount of times I’ve sent an email or even a WhatsApp message listed on a website, for that email to either be responded to with a call or just straight up ghosted… these fuckers are hiding something.
And don’t give me the “it’s just more efficient to call” BS, because it’s just that - BS. I’m infinitely more efficient via email, you just don’t want your words or action in writing when all your shifty BS goes sideways.
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
eah exactly, context and cultural stuff make a big difference. Even if you know the language well, real-life conversations can still be tough sometimes :)
screamingcarnotaurus@reddit
If people do this shit to me, I immediately send an email after the phone conversation recapping what happened and I end the email with "if anything was misunderstood, please reply back with corrections."
Strict-Armadillo-199@reddit
I've had this issue repeatedly in DE as well.
Lopsided-Fan-6777@reddit
nope. I am fluent in the language and its still rough. Without context it can be very hard to understand as even culturally things get missed and attititudes are different
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
Yeah that makes sense, context and cultural stuff makes a huge difference. I’ve noticed even with practice it can still feel rough sometimes. I’ve been using Praktika a bit and it helps get used to more natural conversations, but real-life situations are still a different level :)
PleasantPossom@reddit
Don’t forget staticky connections and salespeople who say the same thing every day so they say it with lightning speed!
It’s definitely not just you.
Edi-Iz@reddit (OP)
Haha yeah that combo is the worst :) makes it feel impossible to catch anything sometimes. Glad to know it’s not just me
Yuzu-Adagio@reddit
Heck, even in-person conversations in the same language but a different accent are enough to kinda freak me out. My social anxiety was already kinda bad (so is my auditory processing) but leaving has made it a ton worse.
Pecncorn1@reddit
It is practise, you need to suffer it and then it becomes second nature and you language skills and confidence expound exponentially.
The first thing to learn is how to ask can you speak a bit slower and use simple words, Had to do it for work and am happy I was forced to do it.
Impossible-Snow5202@reddit
Don't avoid.
Put it on speakerphone and turn on your audio translation tool.
Get subtitles in real time.
Or put it on speakerphone and put in your translation earpiece to hear in your own language.
Sighlence@reddit
ah yes, our audio translation tools and translation earpieces… things that we all have
ScorpioSpork@reddit
If you have an Android phone, you should have auto captions available. This might help. Not all languages are available.
LibrarianByNight@reddit
Works great (If your language is supported).
ScorpioSpork@reddit
Yeah, I also didn't realize it was a Pixel only feature when I shared the link. Looks like it's being developed as an accessibility setting, so maybe it'll get rolled out to all Android phones someday.
Here are the supported languages from my earlier link, in case it helps someone:
> Pixel 6+ and selected Android phones in Android U+ support English, French, German, Italian, Japanese, Hindi, Spanish, Traditional Chinese, Simplified Chinese, Turkish, Polish, Portuguese, Korean, Russian, and Vietnamese.
LibrarianByNight@reddit
I happen to have a Pixel, so I knew it existed. I was disappointed when I realized the language I need isn't supported, but maybe someday.
-Copenhagen@reddit
Do you not own a smartphone?
LibrarianByNight@reddit
I don't have the slightest idea how to turn my phone into a translation earpiece where I hear my native language in real time during a phone call.
-Copenhagen@reddit
You should probably use a search engine then.
Or is that technology also out of reach?
LibrarianByNight@reddit
Ah, now that I see who I replied to, I should have just saved my words. Miserable.
LibrarianByNight@reddit
What audio translation tool? I don't find things like Google translate work very well, especially for phone calls. It's also delayed enough that it's not real time by the time I get the transcription.
Same question for translation earpiece?
Abject_Avocado_8633@reddit
Most tools are not very realtime to use.
Videodubber ai , 11labs and other leading audio translators are mostly for upload file usecase.
Realtime headphones often have 1-3 seconds lag with not very good translation as it misses the context not being able to hear the full sentence before translation.
Also, why to pickup phone in another language if you do not know the caller!
werchoosingusername@reddit
I avoid calls in any language.
Kiwiatx@reddit
I don’t like making phone calls in my native language. Lol.
ThePoeticVoyage@reddit
I even avoid phone calls in my own language.
FinestTreesInDa7Seas@reddit
I take great pleasure in speaking terrible French to phone scammers who call me.
For some reason France has big scam phonecall problem. But the scammers get SO mad when you don't understand them properly.
It feels like revenge for how seriously people take this language.
LibrarianByNight@reddit
I avoid phone calls in any language.
nurseynurseygander@reddit
You aren’t. I will spend a morning going to a shop in person to sort out warranty repairs etc rather than try to do it on the phone.
PinkTemptress_@reddit
You’re definitely not alone. I’d rather wrestle a grizzly bear than make a phone call in another language, sorry, grizzly bear
Freya_almighty@reddit
For some reason i avoid phone calls in my mother language in my own country more than other ones 🫣 idk why, but getting calls from french swiss people or english i don't mind as much.