How does one make friends in the UK?

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

Kinda! Would love to be able to actually FaceTime and what not! Eventually meet in person would be cool!

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Loose-Map-5947@reddit

Hey I’m always looking for random people online to chat with 28m drop me a message if you want 😃

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ImpossibleOil8427@reddit

Honestly, I think just because you’re a man. People are making assumptions you’re a creep. Which I don’t think is fair just from this comment alone.

You could be gay, in a happy committed relationship, or asexual. You could also be a straight man with innocent intentions, which you likely are.

But you’re a man, asking to be friends with a a woman you don’t know on the internet, so people will assume the worst.

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Tough-Oven4317@reddit

You can also be gay or in a relationship and be a creep

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ImpossibleOil8427@reddit

Yes, obviously. That wasn’t really the point though, was it?

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Tough-Oven4317@reddit

Obviously not, but you did imply that lol

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Tough-Oven4317@reddit

Yes, you did.

You said

Honestly, I think just because you’re a man. People are making assumptions you’re a creep.

And

You could be gay, in a happy committed relationship

Which means you either randomly said that for absolutely no reason at all. You were just pointing out, with no relevance, that he could be gay or in a relationship?

Or you implied that being gay or in a committed relationship means you're not a predator

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ImpossibleOil8427@reddit

Do you need everything spelt out for you to understand things completely? Do you lack critical thinking?

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Tough-Oven4317@reddit

You just performed an outrage instead of actually engaging with anything, it's okay to make mistakes, don't be so defensive hahaha

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ImpossibleOil8427@reddit

Who’s we? You’re the only one misunderstanding.

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Tough-Oven4317@reddit

Keep saying it without showing it lol good idea

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dantes_b1tch@reddit

Think your question is now answered ☺️

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I became penpals with my American friend when she was 11 and I was 15 (50 years ago). She’s been to the UK twice and I’ve been there maybe 18 times over the years. We rarely write letters nowadays, but keep up via Facebook or Messenger. It’s been wonderful for us.

Now, I believe there are still organisations that match potential penpals up, but I’d suggest following a community that has the same interest as you on, say Threads, and seeing who you can become friends with in an organic way. I have become great friends with a Swedish Stray Kids fan because we are of a similar age and similarly obsessed. We met in London last year at the concert and I’m going to visit next month. We talk online every day and occasionally FaceTime.

I do hope you find your people!

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DR_95_SuperBolDor@reddit

I don't believe your coworkers. I've never met anyone really besides in education, work, or the pub who I've become friends with. The internet is not where you find people. Or maybe it is. It certainly isn't where I've found people...

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Intrepid_Baker2480@reddit

You should watch Frasier Season 3 Ep 11, the Friend, where he meets Bob, same forward as backwards :) Good luck.

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BugBottleBlue@reddit

Visit the UK, go to a pub, tell a group of friendly-looking people you are there traveling alone and would they mind if you joined their group for a bit. 90% of people will ensure you have a great night.

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Forward_Expression_5@reddit

I'm a brit, I'd say definitely a pub/club or even Facebook groups . 😊

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Anxious_General_3296@reddit

Join hobby groups, the gym, etc.

I guess it also depends on where you live and how big the city / town is.

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Dr-Ben701@reddit

Join an online interest group eg chess go etc and select the uk folk?

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Big_Pool4238@reddit

Drinking alcohol in a pub

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Big_Pool4238@reddit

Drinking alcohol in a pub

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Big_Pool4238@reddit

Drinking alcohol in a pub

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Excellent-Routine585@reddit

Brit here who doesn't mind random chats. London based. Live on a canal boat. Partner of 18 years and a son of 6.

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TexelDestiny@reddit

Just out of curiosity, how do you have 6 parents?

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Mysterious_Coast9869@reddit

Can't add to the chat but just wanted to say hi to another boater - Midlands here!

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Excellent-Routine585@reddit

Hi, 60 trad live aboard. Here

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Mysterious_Coast9869@reddit

58 cruiser stern liveaboard. Great life!

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

Would love to chat!

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Excellent-Routine585@reddit

Dm'd

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Horror_Ad8573@reddit

Chat rooms for hobbies or activities you like.

Just a random post on social media will get you loads of reactions from UK folk

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waggers5@reddit

I've got a few friends in the USA. One is a former work colleague who worked here for a year; some are British friends who relocated, but most are people I've met online through shared interests. I'm 49M and happy to chat in DMs if you'd like to.

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SnooDonuts6494@reddit

Pub.

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jamjar188@reddit

OP wants to make friends digitally

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marcianobenlee@reddit

I done that before, doesn't work out well.

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noobtidder@reddit

Digital pub.

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CosetElement-Ape71@reddit

Make that a digital quiz machine!

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jimbobsqrpants@reddit

Lets call it 'Fact Hunt'

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CosetElement-Ape71@reddit

Yes!

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bnnyrabbit@reddit

r/pubs

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SnooDonuts6494@reddit

What they choose to do with their fingers is not my concern.

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Turbofox_89@reddit

Pub pub pub pub

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uk-guys@reddit

Go to an pub

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Lordaucklandx@reddit

Many creepy blokes are going to go wild in your DMs

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fezzuk@reddit

Some might be well meaning. I'm just about to hit 40 so it would be creepy if I did it, but I probably would have invited her to join my mixed group of friends if I was about the same age.

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MsPB01@reddit

I wouldn't mind chatting - 50f

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Strange_Brilliant654@reddit

Pub

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Aman-R-Sole@reddit

If you're not a fanatical racist football fanatic. You're shit outta luck.

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Depress-Mode@reddit

I find hobbyist groups are good if there’s anything you’re into. I moved to a town and knew no one, went to a car meet and now have local friends with a shared interest.

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Random-Name-1901@reddit

Where are you based?

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

Arizona in the US

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imma2lils@reddit

What things are you into? I'm 45F. Happy to chat.

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Random-Name-1901@reddit

Oh sorry i read this as you'd moved here!

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Lozzybops@reddit

Local groups on Facebook or other socials. My neighborhood that I just moved to has a noticeboard on Facebook

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_SeventyNine@reddit

Making friends online? It's mostly been through streaming and gaming for me. I live in the UK (46m) and have been friends with a woman in LA (37f) for around 10 years now. We met when I randomly watched her stream once, started chatting off stream, and became really good friends due to a shared interest (gaming). We constantly chat on discord video calls, but we haven't met yet, sadly... but I hope to one day!

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sb_ryan@reddit

39f and happy to chat about the weather, queuing and kids on lawns! ;)

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Chris-Mass-@reddit

I find plaster of paris works well...

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tragic1994@reddit

You can't if you are American sorry...

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THE-HOARE@reddit

Random question but do you play Xbox? Loads of Xbox groups looking for people might not be a bad way? I played stuff like dayz and have mates I still talk to now

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Ballbag94@reddit

Join a hobby club of some kind and interact with people there

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Purp1eMagpie@reddit

I feel like not many people understand that you're not in the UK and you want online friends from the UK.

Honestly I don't know what to suggest. I've got/had in the past a few online friends from the US and just sort of... happened

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WigglyBigPoppa@reddit

no ... we understood

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Purp1eMagpie@reddit

No... Some absolutely didn't

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WigglyBigPoppa@reddit

swear a lot. insult the people you know. randomly discuss your entire medical history while on public transport

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Physical_Orchid3616@reddit

I've lived in the UK nearly 3 decades, and i've always found it very hard to make friends with british women. they just never seemed to accept me into their little groups (which British women will blame ME for). my friends have almost all been other foreign born. but who knows, maybe you'll have better luck.

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Good_Lettuce_2690@reddit

Join UK discords focussed on your hobbies

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ProfitFew6747@reddit

Bumble

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romeo__golf@reddit

My closest friends I met on Twitter back in the day. Once you've met one local person who you vibe with, you can generally get included in some of their "group" events with friends and get to know others.

I don't know how this advice works for women and/or straight people, I can only speak from personal experience as a gay man... but many of my friends are guys I hooked up with once or twice and then just become mates with. Again once that happens you often get introduced to their mates and the circle widens.

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TheIronicDruid86@reddit

I remember when.. all this was fields.. Kidding. back in the day I feel like penpal-style sites to meet new people were a thing but not so much now?

I have friends I met through that type of thing from the US that I still talk to now, known them probably a decade at this point if not longer and I even met one when they visited the UK for a holiday.

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dobie_dobes@reddit

I still am in touch with some of my penpals from high school. I’m 45. 😂

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TheIronicDruid86@reddit

I salute you 🫡

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MirrorTotal893@reddit

Slowly, is a really good app for that kind of thing. It's for making pen pals

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KawasakiHonda@reddit

I’m in the UK but a bit older.

I like talking to adults of any age though, from different places. I befriended loads of Japanese and Korean people of a wide age range as I’m going to both this year.

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SwordTaster@reddit

Join the air force and hope they send you to Mildenhall. That's how I met my husband anyway

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No-Drama-2054@reddit

You have to pass by them each morning without fail, even if that means you have to change direction.

Day one, nothing. No eye contact, steady walking speed, no recognition they exist. Zilch.

Day two. Slight glance at them from a reasonable and safe distance, before you pass by stony faced.

Day three. Brief eye contact, stay expressionless as mastered on day two.

Day four. Slight, and I mean slight, head
nod loosely in their direction.

Day five. Head nod, brief eye contact (has to be easily mistaken for side eye) and if you feel it’s needed a slight rub of your hands because of the chill in the air.

Day six. Crunch time. Head nod, uncomfortably long eye contact of three seconds and a muttered comment about it being a bit chilly. Please note muttered.

Day seven. Try a full conversation. A “Morning,” “Alright” or if you’re feeling garrulous “Another day already” with a tinkly laugh as if that’s somehow amusing.

That’s it really. Not a deep friendship I’ll grant you, more a vague sense of reluctant acknowledgement. In some areas that’s quite an achievement.

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New_Line4049@reddit

If youre looking to make friends online without actually visiting the UK you need to hang around online international communities. Ive personally had luck making international friends through gaming communities and through communities around bands/musicians although Im sure theres other options to suit interests. I find the discord groups around those communities are often a good place to start. The goal at this point is just to make yourself active in international groups where you may come across Brits. Beyond that Id say making friends with us Brits wont be that different to making friends at home, just know we use sarcasm much more, and much more subtly, and we have a penchant for self deprecating humour that may seem odd to US sensibilities.

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anabsentfriend@reddit

All of my friends are people I've worked with at various jobs over the years. One is someone I knew at college and one woman from school.

But it's the ex work colleagues that I'm closest to. None of them are friends with each other.

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jlangue@reddit

If you live in a city, go to a local meet up. Choose one you enjoy doing or start a new pastime.

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nowhere_queen@reddit

Online gaming and subreddits for making friends, do you play any games?

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

I unfortunately do not 🥲

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nowhere_queen@reddit

Heartopia is pretty good, its super easy to play, free and can be played on a phone. I have a few friends on there and we all play together

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Comfortable-Pace3132@reddit

Go to boardgamearena if you want to start. Nationality is visible

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EcoNorfolk@reddit

Did you vote Trump?

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

Absolutely not!

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EcoNorfolk@reddit

I understand why you’re after friends from the civilised world then. All the best.

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

Yes! Exactly! I need out of here lol

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FoggyTeacups@reddit

Group-based hobbies work a treat. For example, I met a lot of my current friendship circle in art classes and aerial acrobatics workshops. It works pretty well because you already have a built-in talking point x shared interest if you choose something you truly enjoy!

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mogrim@reddit

Yeah, this. Join a club that covers a hobby you enjoy: chess, running, archery, whatever. Go regularly and you'll find friends.

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Immediate-Lab2771@reddit

https://media0.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExczE2ZnVhOXJxZDY5aWF5am43N3ExYTk5aTVidHNnbmtzM2tkZGVsZiZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/vsh3k3WCKX6ne/giphy.gif

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filbert94@reddit

Mention the weather and say it can't make its mind up

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raquetracket@reddit

Get a dog. I know loads more people as a dog owner, well, when I say loads more people what I mean is I know their dogs names.

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

I have kids and kitties. I would rather not have to add more responsibility lol but I know what you mean!

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PoopsieDoodler@reddit

Here’s a site (I bet there are more/other options) for Zoom interactions with people across the world.

Be careful. It’s the interwebz. Keep personal info safe. Give money to no one. [click]

(https://www.interpals.net/)

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

Thank you!

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PoopsieDoodler@reddit

I’m in 12 Step groups:AA, CA, CODA. I’ve met some wonderful people online in the Zooms. Seriously, lifelong friends through a common recovery.

I’ll bet you have some particular interest that also draws others to a group.

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SellKooky150@reddit

There’s a great app/website called MeetUp. I’m in an online book club on there but there’s loads you can do, either online or in person in your area. Walking groups, sport, meditation, film, pub board games… pretty much whatever your interests are. It’s all free.

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SellKooky150@reddit

I also made amazing friends in France through another site called ‘my language exchange’. I do t know if it’s still going but you can find foreign speakers on there and chat, email, zoom, text etc in English. There may be some people living in England who want to improve their everyday language (they wouldn’t be British people though if that’s what you want). And apologies - I read your post that you were from Arizona but now living in England and wanted to make friends. Ignore the bit about the face to face side of MeetUp but there’s LOADS online there. Sometimes people join our book club from other countries.

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

I’m not in the Uk I’m in Us. But thank you!

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Rico1983@reddit

Happy to chat if you want?

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freebiscuit2002@reddit

Shared interests is a good start. But many people are rightly cautious about connecting with random strangers online.

I'm sure you're very nice - but how do I know you're not really a 55yo man running a criminal gang in central Russia?

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blenderwolf@reddit

Or a cat plotting the demise of your owner and using me as your pawn, cause who would believe a cat did anything? 😼

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

Makes it all that more exciting! lol pinky promise im not though!

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skrew86@reddit

I have a friend in America and we've been friends for over 10 years now. We were clanmates in a game and we just kept in touch once we both stopped playing.

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Last_Ear_5142@reddit

I lived outside of the UK for 40 years. Came back and found it almost impossible to make friends. 12 years later and I have stopped bothering. The British reserve is real

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cjdstreet@reddit

Click on this guys profile to see why lol

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CosetElement-Ape71@reddit

Well he certainly has ONE friend!

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seven-cents@reddit

Rubbish. You just have to turn around in circles, sniff each others arses for a while, and bark a bit to break the ice

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Business_Act_127@reddit

Woof.

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jabertsohn@reddit

You want to make friends here, but without coming here? How are you going to keep in touch?

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

The possibilities are endless friend!

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jabertsohn@reddit

Sure, but the particular way you imagine keeping in touch will help you figure out the best way of making friends in that same niche.

If you're thinking of a British bestie that you fall asleep on the phone with whilst discussing your day, that's one thing, if you're thinking of being part of a discord group of communist football fans from around Europe, that's another.

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CosetElement-Ape71@reddit

I'm sure she could fall asleep on the phone with them too!

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PassiveTheme@reddit

The same way you make friends anywhere. Have shared interests with someone and talk about those interests. If you want to meet someone in the UK before going there, you're gonna have to make some online friends in a sub Reddit or other forum for some of your interests. There isn't like a set method for how to do it though.

Brits are basically the same as humans

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CosetElement-Ape71@reddit

Hang on ... now you've gone too far!

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CumUppanceToday@reddit

Biggies: friends from your school days, people from work, people from church/mosque, people from a club or society (eg I play bridge and dance), parents from the school gates

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last-Invictus@reddit

On the tube after 5

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

I’m in the US 🥲

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WinkyNurdo@reddit

Had an American colleague for a few years when I lived and worked in London. We got to talking a bit and became gig and cinema buddies.

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Orange_Codex@reddit

Your tattoo is hardcore. If you're ever in the UK my friends will take you out on the piss (we've already adopted a Canadian woman).

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

Thank you! Yes please! I would like to be adopted haha

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11theman@reddit

Why?

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Justathome0417@reddit (OP)

Why not meet people and get to know them and their way of life?

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blondie956@reddit

Met my best friend who is from London at a conference in the US. We’ve been through hell together. While we don’t see each other in person as often as we would like - I’m over once a year for several weeks at a time as her daughter is young and my son is grown - she is my ride or die. If she called me today and said “I need you” I would be on the first flight I could get out of here.

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barejokez@reddit

What do you do for fun?

The vast majority of people I call friends I have met through a shared interest of some kind. A sports team I play on, the swimming club I volunteer at, the amateur dramatic society I am a member of. Even playing computer games online.

I have also made friends at the school gate when picking my kids up, and even at work when I find like-minded people.

In my experience, that shared involvement, whatever it is, is an ideal gap filler for when a conversation with someone you don't know well turns awkward (which it often does for many reasons!). You can always go back to recapping yesterday's match, or which teacher keeps setting too much homework, or whatever.

That bridges the gap and gives me a chance to get to know them better while the conversation remains superficial. It is trial and error and while I rarely meet people I hate, I do know a lot of people whose company I don't bother to seek out anymore, and I'm sure others do the same for me, which is also fine.

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HotNeon@reddit

Pub. Join the darts team. Practice!

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UpstairsLocal3378@reddit

Just join a queue somewhere and then moan to the person behind you about the time it’s taking and the weather

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skibbin@reddit

All my friendships have formed around drugs and alcohol

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Ch3mplay@reddit

I'll be your friend.

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miemcc@reddit

Look up local groups that match your interests. I enjoyed hiking, at the time there was a dating site that specialised in group hobbies (long gone now). But, even not-dating groups will introduce you to people with the same interests.

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PM-me-your-cuppa-tea@reddit

Won't help. She wants UK friends whilst she stays in the US

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cjdstreet@reddit

Fitbaw

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Maleficent-Win-6520@reddit

Go out. Socialise. Meet and talk to people.

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aeropagitica@reddit

Find interests in common and discuss them at mutually convenient times and days. There are lots of social media groups and subreddits based on group social interests.

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WoodenFault7969@reddit

You’ve just done it!

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Either_Custard_7438@reddit

Tut in traffic and catch another motorists eye.

Friends for life!!

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MonkeyBoy697@reddit

Find ones with similar interests. Twitter & Instagram are probably your best bets, follow UK accounts, particularly meme accounts or accounts with things you’re interested in and you will probably end up naturally getting into conversations with people.

I’ve had a few friends from the US & elsewhere over the years that I “met” via Twitter back in the early 2010’s and it was just organic

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Rude_Rhubarb1880@reddit

Invite them over for a cup of tea, some biscuits and a natter about the weather

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qualityvote2@reddit

Hello u/Justathome0417! Welcome to r/AskABrit!

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